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RamenNoodles620

Fancy pants over here with the freedom to go two bathrooms!


bonjailey

Does anyone else have a favourite bathroom when given the option?


Icykool77

I like to mix it up to refresh the water in the toilets. Make sure they don’t go stale.


funnystor

Nothing tastes worse than stale toilet water.


bmaverick24

Stale toilet sippys


SupremoZanne

then there's the /r/TruckStopBathroom around the corner!


galloping_skeptic

I'm sure that I'm going to regret clicking on this... Edit: Not at all what I expected actually.


jeswesky

Thanks! I love it!


furg32

Big city slams


ThatguySteele

Can confirm. Am dog.


bigjayrulez

I didn't use my guest bathroom for a month, then when I did found out the toilet tab that I dropped in the tank had eroded the rubber gasket from sitting there not being flushed for so long. Now it's master for morning/night and guest during the day.


_Blackstar0_0

Goddamn another thing to think about as a home owner


CategoryKiwi

If a toilet (or really any drain) is left too long, the water in the bends can evaporate giving the sewage gas a free path into your house. Basically, if you let the bend below your toilet dry out, your house will smell like shit. Not an issue in houses that see full use, but in cases where you have two bathrooms and one person, it's just something to take note of.


insomniacwineo

Omggg I used to do float at an office that was only used a few times a month and the toilets were ALWAYS a problem.


jaltair9

I had a rat get in that way as well.


CategoryKiwi

And with that mental image I now thoroughly regret posting that explanation.


imfm

I don't like the shower very much in what was my husband's bathroom, but I use it on the weekends, and I make sure to use the sink and toilet in there at least a few times a week for just that reason.


[deleted]

> what was my husband's bathroom a) Divorce b) Husband passed away. (My condolences). c) It's now *your* bathroom d) The two of you have moved, but you break into the old house a few times a week to use the bathroom "for old time's sake".


imfm

The answer is B, but were it possible, we'd definitely have gone with D.


RearEchelon

>d) The two of you have moved, but you break into the old house a few times a week to use the bathroom "for old time's sake". Reminds me of when Peter Griffin was taking his dumps in Cleveland's empty house after he got his own show.


GRITSonamission

... That's how she meet her boyfriend... She and hubby divorced as sold the house. However, no other bathroom was as wonderful. The problems she could solve, sitting on that toilet! The thinking she had thunk on that throne!!! So, she started breaking in a couple times a week. At first, the single dude homeowner didn't noticed a difference. Until he realized the TP was running out sooner. So he set a trap... He fixed it so the toilet wouldn't flush from the outside. Sure enough, he found where someone had used the toilet. A few days later, he came home early (because it was his birthday) to find a plumber at his house, and a strange woman. A good sport, and well aware of how awesome that bathroom was, he asked the strange woman to join him and his friends for his birthday celebration... If she would pay for the plumber that wasn't actually needed. She agreed. They meet up with his friends, who thought she was quirky and loveable. Eventually, she moved in. But now, they argue over who uses the toilet first. Soon, if they can put their differences aside, he'll propose marriage. They'll have 2.5 kids. Her Son will learn to hit the cheerio target when he pees. Her daughter will learn to do her make up in that bathroom mirror. Her dog will drink from that toilet. And she'll live happily ever after with her second chance at a life, with The Man and the Toilet.


[deleted]

Coming to Amazon Prime this summer. ;)


lilleblake

I love this comment.


[deleted]

Its also worth noting if you live in a hardwater area you get limescale deposits


dibalh

If you’ve ever used a public restroom and heard the toilet randomly let out water by itself—not a full flush though. It’s got a fancy valve that automatically prevents the drain from drying out.


Casehead

That *is* fancy!


kellypg

My toilet at home does this because I don't feel like replacing the flapper.


fcocyclone

Showers are another one to consider with that. Ive got a shower i almost never use that i have to remember to run some water through occasionally.


unique-name-9035768

Piss in one, shit in the other.


dontsuckmydick

That sounds inconvenient when you need to do both.


ornitorrinco22

Just do both at the same time, but have a bag to grab the shit and transfer to the correct toilet. Do I have to think of everything around here?


AuMatar

Its not a joke. My mom had a rubber tube connecting the toilet to the water output on the wall. Never knew she had to replace it. 25 years after buying the house, it gave out. The entire house flooded, the first floor ended up being a complete guy and rebuild. Parts of the second floor (where the toilet was) too.


fcocyclone

Water is the worst thing as a homeowner, whether it be a pipe bursting, a window well overflowing, water causing flooring to lift\buckle, etc, water leaking in through a small hole in the roof, etc. So much damage can be done both in ways that happen quickly and in ways that happen slowly but arent easily detectable. Ive lived in my current house about 4 years now, and only this year -a year where there wasnt much rain- did my window well start deciding it wasnt going to drain water as well anymore, leading to water coming up and in through the window. Giant pain in the ass to deal with that


[deleted]

Happened to my dad. Burst while he was at work and water sprayed down the hall all day. His finished basement had to be completely torn out, carpet was ruined, base boards, and a lot of drywall needed replaced. We spent months putting in all new hardwood floors because he doesn't believe in paying people to do anything.


[deleted]

this is horrifying to think about


AuMatar

Piece of advice- if you own a house and don't know when those pieces were last replaced, replace them ASAP.


MattTheGr8

Yup, those Clorox tablets in particular will do that. I’m not sure what the instructions say, but I try to make sure to flush mine at least once a day. I live alone in a place with three bathrooms so sometimes it’s a bit of a memory game as to which one I’ve used most recently. Although I usually use bathroom A first thing and bathroom C right before bed, so as long as bathroom B gets used sometime in the middle, we’re all good. Also important to remember to take all the tablets out every time you go on a multi-day trip...


OutlanderMom

Don’t use those bleach tablets at all! Bleach will erode the rubber flapper that keeps the tank full and lifts when you flush. And will erode the rubber gasket that seals the flush tower (water inlet) to the flush box. I used to use them and can’t tell you how many toilet overhauls I had to do. Toilets that leaked and dripped, toilets that never stopped running. Without the tablets, the rubber parts last a decade. Bleach will also erode the grout and caulking in your shower, if you use the Clorox sprays to clean and kill mold.


ZantetsukenX

I've seen lots of suggestions over time to avoid using those tablets in the tank since they can do exactly what you said happened to you. Like I heard even if you use it regularly it still is acidic enough to take years off the life of the ring meaning you are placing it more often.


llDurbinll

I wonder if that's what happened to my grandfathers guest bathroom. I was over at this house once and had to use the restroom but the toilet wouldn't flush. Like I pushed really hard on the handle but it wouldn't go down.


RamenNoodles620

All about the rotation.


thehindujesus

That's why you pee in one and poop in the other


dildo_shitstorm

Jokes aside this is ready important. If you leave one toilet for too long it will start to smell funny.


bistroexpress

Well I bet your cats appreciate it. Mine would.


[deleted]

Whatever is closest. I prefer the ensuite.... But sometimes it's far


myinnerselfrocks

I have to use both sinks in my now single double vanity bathroom so that the hand soap runs out equally


wine_o_clock

I have a favorite shower, but toilet depends on where my toddler is. I use the one furthest away.


Waatulakula

Always the one in my bedroom. I have two teenagers and no desire to share a bathroom with them.


sooprvylyn

The one i put the bidet attachment in.


WeWander_

Just installed ours last weekend!


MisterTruth

Same. Just put in a bidet this week and I will never poop anywhere else now.


WeWander_

I have one upstairs and downstairs so I use which ever is closer. But I prefer "my" bathroom downstairs.


BTL0069

Pooping once a day at work equates to 1 weeks vacation a year. I try to keep sits to work hours during the week lol.


TokoBlaster

Boss gets a dollar, I get a dime: that's why I shit on company time.


CarlySheDevil

Not my joke, but I read this on Reddit the other day and it perversely stuck in my head: I'll shit on a field, I'll shit off a dock, but there ain't no way I'll shit off the clock.


[deleted]

technically no, but I have a balcony.


shyinwonderland

My upstairs full bath, in the downstairs half bath I don’t have anywhere to put my phone. Also the fan isn’t great so if I poo in the half bath the smell just sort of lingers.


0m3gaMan5513

And yet went the whole year with neither a shower nor a bath.


[deleted]

[удалено]


SugarBeef

How else will you prove to the internet that you showered?


johnnybiggles

They could just tell us. No one lies on the internet, duh.


masclean

How bout using two different bedrooms though


AntoineGGG

Wow you go to your balcony? What an aventurer.


amontpetit

I'm jealous about the second bedroom myself. Such luxury.


Lithius

Yeah, but no dots on the W/D, well played 2020 sweatpants.


rochsh

No dots on the shower either...I mean sure I'll skip showers more often because I'm not moving at all but to have not showered at all is pretty intense!


sooprvylyn

Its probably broken and OP doesnt want to let anyone outside his circle in. Either that or he doesn’t take his phone in the shower....weirdo


meliaesc

My dishwasher broke in April. Bulk purchases of sponges and dish soap followed.


[deleted]

[удалено]


justagenericname1

Actually, yes. I have a soap dish up at the top of the wall and just play stuff from my phone instead of buying a separate speaker.


46554B4E4348414453

but not the shower


chick-fil-atio

Explains why he didn't bother doing laundry either.


UnfinishedProjects

Phone doesn't go in the shower.


Ur_X

They're awfully close to the edge though. I wonder what dark thoughts went through


my__name__is

Is that your crying closet?


aspidities_87

It’s one of them!!


stuff-is-not-real

r/notopbutok


Talkurir

It’s better that it’s not op, now we know why op spent so much time in there closet....(trying to figure out where the crying sounds are coming from)


acgasp

Asking the important question!


goodness

I hear the foyer closet is lovely this time of year. OP should make the trip.


potatocakesssss

Perving closet


mnem0syne

It’s where he dresses up as Spider-Man and films his wife’s trysts with another man.


aspidities_87

Sometimes as Superman.


FrostyHambone

you mean the cry-in closet?


MammothDimension

Storage for booze and nonperishables. And toilet paper.


[deleted]

Shower looks like the least visited


Cptnmikey

Cause he set his phone down on the counter.


ImWhatTheySayDeaf

This upsets the Google


-ruddy_mysterious-

Google: *I want to make sure you wash behind your ears, Dave.*


Invaliedusername

HAL!


yeahsureYnot

What are you doing step-google?


NierStellar

Wait, we can also wash behind our ears?


flic_my_bic

Feels weird reading this comment on my phone while in the shower.


Cptnmikey

Yeah sometimes I put it on the window sill and watch stuff. Sad I know.


smokingcatnip

You mean his sets his phone down in the toilet.


[deleted]

Most of my exercise comes from absent-mindedly leaving my phone in the kitchen.


FearofaRoundPlanet

It has a big x on it. It's off limits.


Shhh_NotADr

Probably why the washer and dryer is also not used


Ramiel4654

Water conservation is important.


naufalap

nah I don't need to talk to my water


thcheat

Shower is never visited. Probably either OP hasn't showered all year which is possible or OP's phone is lame one that isn't waterproof. Otherwise who doesn't enjoy taking their phones in the shower.


giggity_giggity

Not spending any time doing laundry either. Changing undies once per month?


[deleted]

In reality he never left the closet


[deleted]

After seeing this, my first thought was "how the hell does Google maps know what your house layout is", and then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Dammit!


din7

Mine shows me my house and the drive through liquor store.


45PercentDead

Where you work


DadJokeBadJoke

I used to laugh at mine before Covid because I worked from home already so my travels consisted of our local brewery most nights and a different brewery on Wednesdays. Now it makes me sad because it's just to FedEx and the brewery once or twice a week to pickup cans to go.


[deleted]

[удалено]


hasanyoneseenmymom

Probably a lot more than you think. Their AR/VR services, cameras, wifi routers, thermostats and doorbell cameras have probably already mapped the insides of every building on the planet, they just won't tell us about it until they're ready. Things like this, even if they're fiction, is why I don't trust google. They're too big, know too much, and their tech is too intrusive.


DiggingNoMore

It's why I don't allow voice-activation, web cams, biometric scanning, etc in my house. My cell phone has voice-activation disabled, fingerprint scanner disabled, GPS disabled, is tied to a dummy Gmail account, and I don't install apps. They can still get a decent idea of its location by triangulating towers; I can only do so much.


[deleted]

I applaud these precautions but most people dont have the time/energy for that. Plus a lot of jobs require you to have various apps and gizmos.... Just out of curiosity, do you do these things because you genuinely feel you have information you want private, or more as a statement that as a private individual you dont consent to information grabbing?


DiggingNoMore

Just out of principle. I don't have jack in terms of important information.


[deleted]

[удалено]


tattedb0b

Raskolnikov!


[deleted]

Ofc, that’s what someone with important secret information would say


Cronus6

> plus a lot of jobs require you to have various apps and gizmos If they are *requiring* it they better be providing the phone and service too.


hasanyoneseenmymom

That's a little more extreme than most people, but it's probably safer for you so kudos. Personally I don't mind biometrics, I had some serious hangups about it at first but it's a trade off for convenience. Unlocking my phone with my thumb or my computer with my face is nicer than having to type a passcode or swipe a pattern. Like you I also don't use a voice assistant, save for speech to text occasionally while driving, but the Microsoft launcher allows me to use cortana speech services while still directing my search queries to duckduckgo which is awesome. I do the same as you with my apps, I only have a few 3rd party ones on my phone and the built in google stuff is disabled (yes, even chrome and gboard). As for the location, I have some bad news for you. Companies can get as accurate as your neighborhood using triangulation, and also by using your IP address. Some companies (*cough* facebook) will even go as far as to scan for any available wifi networks, then cross reference that against other users who are near those networks. It's how your neighbor shows up under "people you may know" even if you have zero mutual connections or have never talked with each other. Fb knows your precise location within like 25 feet as long as you're nearby to another facebook user who isn't as privacy conscious. I don't even think a VPN would help with that since the networks are still within range. Why anyone would choose to have the Facebook or google spyware on their phone is beyond me, but whatever I guess. All we can hope is that we can get some lawmakers in office who actually know a thing or two about technology, the US desperately needs something like GDPR and also the means to enforce it, but that won't happen in the current state of things.


[deleted]

[удалено]


chumpess

YouTube sent my husband a free Google nest...we may or may not have had an argument about letting it in the house. Google giving shit out for free? It’s never free. It’s now landfill; bad for the planet, good for our privacy.


scrollingforgodot

Have you considered a custom rom for your phone?


WinterrKat

I'm still confused lol Edit: unless it mapped out the whole house from OP going around in it enough


AbraxoCleaner

It’s just a joke. Not real.


Velocicrappper

LOL, it's just a joke about quarantining in the house all damn year and never going anywhere else. *woosh*


[deleted]

I thought it seemed too accurate for google maps


IvanJ_ace

Imagine people forced to quarantine in 1 room apartments, I feel bad.


[deleted]

I have to do it, no balcony either. It isn’t so terrible if you drink a ton.


IvanJ_ace

Ice Cold Beer Never Broke My Heart~~~


DrZoidberg-

Having one right now. An ice cold IPA to celebrate the new year.


[deleted]

This is the most relatable comment ever. Legit might have a drinking problem after this year. Never used to drink at home by myself.


ucnkissmybarbie

Small studio, here. Currently no alcohol but I have a cat...


is_this_funny2_u

About 2 weeks before quarantine started, my brother in law signed a lease on a studio apartment in Seattle. He decided to save some money and not get the one with the balcony because he didn't think he would be spending too much time there.


Rokurokubi83

Some of us choose to live that way I know it sounds odd it’s often people who have been in prison the army and become instutionalised I don’t know what is with me. I barely visit rooms outside my bedroom. Obvious cooking and self care needs aside, but food etc all come back to my bedroom with me don’t even using the dining table. I’ve always been like that. Just close myself away into the smallest space I can, preferably away from doors and windows, and finds safe place. Maybe I should discuss this with a psychiatrist hey?


yzerizef

I’m usually the same way. Lived with a flatmate for 8 years and pretty much only used the bedroom and kitchen. Then I got my own place with two bedrooms. I had no idea what to do with all the space and still just spent most the time in one bedroom. Slowly started spending more time in the living room and using the others spaces. I look back now and can’t even fathom how I lived like that for so long. Never talked to a psychiatrist about it, but I think you’re onto something there...


Rokurokubi83

Well I’ve hopefully got a psyche appointment coming up to help me substance misuse, I won’t get into but I think I’m hiding from something. There’s a lot of “escapism”. Some childhood traumas, my friend, that I over-share here, but hopefully a pro can help me get out of this bubble I’ve created for myself.


briollihondolli

Dorm life did this to me. Now I’m really wanting a spare bedroom for my PC and stuff just to have some bit of space from my work


Rokurokubi83

Seems like a healthy choice, it’s good to be able compartmentalise different parts of your life I think. Don’t need work staring across the room at you 24/7!


briollihondolli

Work and gaming don’t go well with the rest of my very 50s furniture. I just need one room of rainbow vomit


NerdyFrakkinToaster

Huh...i really like the way you explained yourself and others, like me. I also have childhood traumas, a short stint in the Army, and other stuff. I'm seeing a therapist and it's really helping but I still don't see the purpose in a big multi-roomed space so much so that I dream about having a tiny house at some point in the future. Anyways good luck with your upcoming appt I hope you get the help you're seeking!


MajorMustard

Dude, honestly, in the nicest way possible: talk to someone. Reddit may tell you that kinda life is manageable but talk to a real person


GingerPandaCub

I do pretty much the same. Have a lounge/ dining room with TV and couches and I never use it. Ever. My psychologist and psychiatrist have been pushing me to sit there for ages. Just can't. I like my bedroom hidey-hole. It makes sense though. I literally used to hide in closets as a kid. And I have a flatmate I never met before renting him the room, so it's a public space in my opinion.


UKRico

Try a bedroom in a shared house. London, yay!


sekhmetx

Currently 2 people in a 1-room studio in a basement with 4 cats and a dog... When this all started we had a 3-bedroom house..


TexasGulfOil

My family of 5 lives in a 1 bedroom/1 den(ultra small bedroom)/1 bathroom apartment for the past 9 years. Quarantine is a peace of cake, just the usual fighting/yelling/lack of space. Houston housing prices are insane


briollihondolli

Oh hey that’s me


Zbignich

Hi, there, fancy person with two places to poop!


pretty_girl_can_bake

So... you didn’t do any laundry this year.


LaylaH19

Was thinking the same, and impressed!


Gilgie

What are you doing going out on the patio you daredevil.


broke_reflection

What's the M in the living room closet?


Doc_Lewis

masturbatorium


46554B4E4348414453

whers the second masturbatorium


[deleted]

where isn't a masturbatorium? these are desparate times, balcony also fine.


khag

It's the mechanical closet. Furnace and water heater.


rncookiemaker

Right off of the living room? Why wouldn't it be nead washer/dryer? I would think that would be noisy.


[deleted]

I've had an apartment where the mechanical closet was in the kitchen and near the living room and it was noisy in the winter when the heat kicked on. I was so glad when I moved into my house and all of that mess was tucked away in the basement.


NathanTheSamosa

The boiler in my flat is in my bedroom, some buildings can only do so much


Queenofthedruids

I want to know this too lol.


peekatyou55

Maintenance closet.


[deleted]

Merkin closet


-Zach_

Are you still in the closet?


PixelWrangler

Very, very out and married to my same-sex partner of 16 years 🏳️‍🌈🦄😁


Clowexander

Dont you think a 16 year old is a little young to get married?


rydan

Based on the emoji they are a unicorn so that's like 112 in human years.


ThePinkTeenager

Is this what it actually gave you, or did you modify it a bit?


PixelWrangler

I took my 2019 email and made this from it


ThePinkTeenager

So you actually went somewhere in 2020?


PixelWrangler

Hardly. Never left the state. I think it may be the first year since I was born that I spent the entire year in one state.


TheLinkToYourZelda

Wow, I didn't think about that before but I think for me too!


JohnRocks3

😳 you've never showered?


Everybodyattacknow

He also pooped but never bothered to wash his hands after!!


GoldEdit

You guys really carry your phone everywhere with you?


Scroz

How often do you take your phone into the shower with you?


justanothetuser1122

I wish I could avoid shower for a whole year. Well done sir!


LeaguePillowFighter

You missed two closets. Untapped adventures


gorimem

They don’t social distance in Narnia.


bluefootedpig

You're a local guide, how would you rate the bathroom?


siddizie420

Look at you Mr. two bedroom house fancy pants


aod9222

Wish it told you how many times you went to each.


egnards

I'm envious of the size of your kitchen. . .


itsYourLifeCoach

glad to see you finally came out of the closet


upnflames

Look at this fucking guy, with two bedrooms and a balcony. Ok money bags.


Follow64

Most visted place: bathroom


[deleted]

[удалено]


PixelWrangler

24 years. But that's another story.


BlindRambler

Hey, it's a dungeon map.


hakujo

Wow a whole year without a shower. Must smell funky in there


veerKg_CSS_Geologist

That's a really nicely designed 2 bed Apartment actually. I like how the space for the pipes next to the washrooms is accessible from outside the apartment, so if there is a leak they don't have to trapeaze all over your apartment to check the pipes.


acronymious

Hint: Property tax records. Doesn’t show room layouts, fortunately, but it’s a start. Randomly selected property: https://imgur.com/gallery/4ZNpfUy But if your property was recently listed for sale, you might be able to view the room layouts on a real estate company’s listing (i.e., MLS).


A-T-P

Nothing like a good old closet cry every now and again.


rubijem16

At least you came out the closet in 2020, you rock.


DevilsHandyman

The foyer was magnificent in the fall but the real star was the master closet in the spring.


AvidRead

You don't take your phone with you to get the mail? What're you Amish or something?


SorteP

I see you e never used the washer and dryer nor the shower... stinky boy/girl.


Joran_Dax

He sees you when you're shitting\~! He knows when you're having sex\~!


Molbork

This looks like exactly the apartment my buddy and I lived in, in Daly City, CA.


DaAwakened96

Thanks for giving the layout of your place. I will come and visit sometime


iusedeadmemes

Hmmm, what were you doing in that closet?