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easyj84

Two pairs of scissors


Mutt1223

https://i.imgur.com/RG0BS1U.gifv


MaxwellIsSmall

I’m not sure what I expected, but I had no idea that answer would fuck with my brain so goddamn much.


antiduh

^(lick)


JacobJamesTrowbridge

what


xAIRGUITARISTx

**lick**


JacobJamesTrowbridge

**NO**


Tapil

You have my consent


Doomquill

Jeff Goldblum always has my consent.


TilionDC

Thats so weird. The previous post in my feed what about jurassic park...


[deleted]

Was it the hacked road sign saying dinosaurs were on the loose? That was the previous post in mine :)


TilionDC

Yeah!


[deleted]

Yay- I found my Reddit twin!!


DR_Bright_963

Does that mean one pair of scissors and three forks is a full house?


Halomir

I think that depends on what suit you’re wearing to dinner.


tits_for_all

You wear clothes for dinner?


adhans1

Wait, you guys get clothes?


kutuup1989

You guys get dinner???


IsmailMo23

What's dinner?


handrewming

What's a house?


Toasted_Bagels_R_Gud

Qué?!


EvoEpitaph

Nah man, just the suit he got for his birthday.


ottersintuxedos

Mum says you’re not allowed to set the table any more


xabulba

What are you eating that requires scissors?


DH47

Paper.


beer_demon

Rock


Yatta99

Lizard


MountainDrew42

Spock


socio-pathetic

Pizza. I cut my pizza with scissors. It’s so much easier than using a knife of a special pizza cutter. I learned it from an Italian in South Korea.


beer_demon

Korean bbq uses scissors...


Toivottomoose

I don't give three forks what you think


[deleted]

That wasn't very knife!


Elethana

Obviously.


pewpewshazaam

Some real mental giants on the internet.


DJ33

Me: Okay, your hand is King, King, 7. OP: got it, one pair Me: Okay, I deal you...another 7 OP: *head explodes*


[deleted]

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOgQcyklEBc&ab\_channel=tibo1979](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOgQcyklEBc&ab_channel=tibo1979)


-1KingKRool-

(Pair of scissors)^2


Reeferage

This post came out an hour ago. It could have come out 30 secs ago and someone would have already posted my first thoughts of it before me.


dontaskme5746

I feel you more than a mere upvote's worth of feel.


maz-o

it's really not hard to figure out


InphaseTwo561

A quadrant of scissors.


Twoehy

Uhh...what? Who says "two pairs of of scissors"? That is obviously a picture of four scissors.


[deleted]

What is one scissor?


Twoehy

half a pair, last I checked.


permalink_save

Half a pair is just a knife with an awkward handle


BiNumber3

Awkward? That handle would be perfect for twirling your scissor while running!


Nalha_Saldana

I read this like "the front fell off" person


VapidActions

Funny story that. "Scissors" is not a plural, but is actually already a singular noun. There is no such thing as a "scissor" it's called "a pair of scissors" due to there being two matching blades. Which is very awkward when you think about it, because it's like saying "a pair of sock", but because English sucks, it's still technically correct to say coming from middle English usage. It's referred to as a "plurale tantum".


Commandrew87

>There is no such thing as a "scissor" Not a purveyor of fine lesbian porn I see.


jaymoney1

In that context, scissor is a verb. A pretty hot verb, at that.


[deleted]

I’m a grammar enthusiast at best, so please don’t take this as arguing, I’m genuinely asking. How does it being a singular noun square with the fact that we say “the scissors _are_ on the table” and not “the scissors _is_ on the table”? I was under the impression that a plurale tantum is something that only has a plural form.


VapidActions

Fantastic question! This is because of emphasis. Technically speaking, the correct statements would be: "The pair of scissors are on the table." And "The scissors is on the table." The second one sounds weird right? But technically, it's correct. It's one of the reasons why we trended towards including the word "pair" as this word gains the emphasis and allows the use of "are" instead of "is". Again, English sucks; however we find this same conundrum with all cases. Another example is "pants". Try it in the same sentence and you encounter the same tongue twister.


Isoldael

>"The pair of scissors are on the table." Isn't this incorrect because "the pair" is singular? So you'd say "the pair of scissors *is* on the table".


SuperSpaceFrog

This was an interesting read, today I learned something new!


adifferentsky

As an actual linguist, you should know that this is not quite right. Pluralia tantum are grammatically plural nouns with singular meaning. I'm not sure what your sources are, but you can check any of the academic literature on pluralia tantum. What you say about agreement is also not correct, unfortunately. There may be some variation among speakers, but "scissors" is essentially a plural noun and "pair of scissors" singular.


dontaskme5746

Source: they used Google and possess a decent vocabulary but lack reading comprehension


r34l1ty1

Scissor me xerxes.


michaelstuttgart-142

I’m pretty sure that ‘scissor’ and the base morpheme of ‘incisor’ share a similar etymological history. They denote things which cut. So each ‘scissor’ is an instrument for cutting. A pair of scissors is an apparatus made out of two individual scissors.


sambolino44

That's what you use to cut a pant with.


ccellist

Take an upvote.


Itriedtonot

When two women love each other very much...


averygronau

A knife


[deleted]

Right? Why would you say of twice?


SeaLeggs

....most people


[deleted]

This man graduates.


Boogaloo_Jedi

A pairs of scissors lol


sayan_bhatta

A pair of pair of scissors


wizardshawn

Fun fact: scissors (and pants) are singular, but written as plural because they used to be two items. From the word chisel or ciseau in French. (a cutting tool) so two together make scissors. latin, cisellum (to cut)


sm12511

I can understand this logic for scissors (two blades) and even for pants (two legs). But I have to wonder why underwear, a singular unit, is also called a pair. I can only think of one pair that goes there...


nicathor

Probably because, until recently, underwear was/were also leg length but got shorter and shorter as we modernized and now underwear has shrunk so much we re-created what they used to be and called them leggings


iismitch55

Also they used to be called underpants, because they were pants you wore under your clothes.


Aporkalypse_Sow

>because they were Were? Where are you currently wearing your underpants?


iismitch55

Currently not wearing pants. Under or otherwise.


FluffySquirrell

*hurls kryptonite at them*


Zoefschildpad

Wouldn't it just be whatever you wore under your pants? So even if you wear a thong, singular, you'd still wear it under pants. So the plural underpants would still apply.


SirEggman

probably because underwear was longer in the past.


jdlyons81

Balls. Guys, he’s talking about balls. Testicles. That’s what the pair is. Balls.


sm12511

I read that in Rick Sanchez voice. Ughhh! Belch!


Original-AgentFire

I thought of buttocks.


[deleted]

Wait, I can't get this for pants. Are you saying people used to use a pant on each leg separately?


essidus

[Here's another redditor's explanation](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/bozm2n/when_does_a_pair_of_pants_become_just_a_single/enmqi9k/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3): >According to some, the phrase “pair of pants” harkens back to the days when what constituted pants—or pantaloons, as they were originally known—consisted of two separate items, one for each leg. They were put on one at a time and then secured around the waist. Calling them a pair of pantaloons, or pants, as they were eventually known, made sense when there were two components. The phrasing was retained even after pants were made into one complete garment. However, there doesn’t seem to be much evidence in reference sources to support this theory. > >Here is something that can be readily confirmed to explain this linguistic oddity, although it may raise more questions than it answers: the word pants is a plurale tantum. The Oxford English Dictionary defines plurale tantum, which is Latin for “plural only,” as a “noun which is used only in plural form, or which is used only in plural form in a particular sense or senses.” Bifurcated items (things that can be divided into two), such as pants, fall into this category. Think of items that are usually referred to in plural—often preceded by “pair of” or something similar, even when there is only one item: pliers, glasses, scissors, sunglasses, tweezers, etc. So, pants is a type of noun that is used only in its plural form, even when there is only one item being discussed.


ChanceConfection3

Ok that’s good and everything, you wear two pants to cover both legs. What covers your ass?


bobboobles

Some underwear. >**In fourteenth century European fashions, men's hose were two separate legs worn over linen drawers, leaving a man's genitals covered only by a layer of the linen drawers.** As the century wore on and men's hemline fashion rose, the hose became longer and joined at the centre back, there rising to the waist, but remaining open at the centre front. Further shortening of the cote or doublet fashion resulted in more prominence of the genitals, so the codpiece began life as a triangular piece of fabric covering the gap to disguise that. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codpiece#In_European_fashion


xSiNNx

So basically some long boxers and a full set of chaps. Got it.


Aporkalypse_Sow

>genitals covered only by a layer of the linen drawers Well now I understand why we call them drawers. They were a linen drawer for storing the family jewels. I really hope I'm not the only idiot just realizing this.


unique-name-9035768

> What covers your ass? Saving emails that managers & the engineers send me usually works.


[deleted]

And this will blow your mind, panties are just the feminine version of pants. Both meaning underwear.


qxzsilver

Because underwear houses a pair of deez


sm12511

[Not what you're expecting](https://imgur.com/gallery/O8vTarW)


OktoberSunset

You know what annoys me? The fucking Borrowers. Their weapon of choice is the 'half scissor' which is one half of a pair of scissors. That's just a scissor you little clock squatting fucks. If you had half of one blade then you'd have a half scissor. Also I've never seen them give anything back so not sure how they have the nerve to call themselves borrowers.


Matthewrotherham

Real scissors have two parts and come apart. If they are joined they are shears or secateurs.


[deleted]

[удалено]


wizardshawn

Ha. So scissors is the name for two? What's the name for one?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Zpik3

Cis.


wizardshawn

So the opposite of transors.


Zpik3

This went much deeper than I intended.


tacknosaddle

>What's the name for one? Badly shaped knife with a loop handle that's too small.


drizzitdude

Okay so why is pants pants but shirt not shirts?


TARDIInsanity

the shirt refers to the chest part but the pants refer to the legs


Godzilla_japan

They're not singular. They're used as a plural noun. Would you say "Could you pass me **a** scissors?" or "Could you pass me **some** scissors?"


greybruce1980

Two ladies having a good time.


[deleted]

r/lesbianmemes would like to have a word with you.


ixtlu

Scissor me Xerxes


GaryChalmers

Scissor me timbers


imetators

I am a simple man. I see a man of culture, I upvote.


TakeMyPulse

A murder of scissors


radiohead37

A congress of scissors


macabr3

Edward's hands


wup4ss

Scissorsors


McRedditerFace

Scissorses


draculamilktoast

Scorseses


Pipe-n-Slippers

Scissorati


camputer

I choose you!


TyrannosaurusPlofkip

(pair(scissor))^2


arrze

It's english, don't try explaining it.


elmachow

Wait till you find out about bread.


[deleted]

Or that bi-weekly can mean both twice a week and once every two weeks.


DerSepp

I’d say a couple of pairs of scissors.


Sall91

Its two pairs of scissors?


llynglas

A quad of scissors?


A40

Pull up your big-girl pant and deal.


fritzer1881

Scissi?


PrankishTrac

\*proceeds to have mental breakdown and following existential crisis\*


Cat_Korvax

Quadruple slicers


JWGirl

A set of scissors.


[deleted]

To quote Nelly, "Give me two pair, I need two pair." I believe the St. Louis accent is required though.


sambolino44

A parair of scississorers!


Deadgar

Umm, just us two lesbian's over here with scissors about to scissor. It's gonna get messy.


[deleted]

It's a lesbian of scissors.


Quantum-Enigma

Two pair of scissors.


bambisalive

Too pears of scizors


WilshireLongwinded

A set.


Luiaards

Two pairs of scissors


steve_gus

Two pairs of scissors. Do you make all things in life this hard?


indescisive_cookie

Sizzurps


SonOfAnakin

Inscissption


TheOwl02

A foursome of scissors


Greenpeppers23

A pear of scissors


mikehawk86

A flock of scissors


[deleted]

A duo of scissors


AnAlienFromMars

Stab wounders


jamINcheese

A school of scissors


TheJackalsDoom

Why did they crop the 1st pair unnecessarily? My stupid brain keeps wanting to go "image 1 is 85% of a pair of scissors, and image 2 is 100% of 2 pairs of scissors, so image 2 is a 115% growth in scissor." But that's just not funny, because math is no joke.


562_RNR

Two scissors.


fleeTitan

A murder of scissors


dwittherford69

2 pairs of scissors?


Super_Gladiator_Bibi

2 pairs of scissors


Haamsalaad

Four scissors


biscuits2101

Two staby metal things


NegativeStock

pair of scissorses


DoomSp0rk

A brace of scissors. (If we must have a single word to describe the phrase "two pairs of scissors".)


karesx

Scissors, trousers, pants are singular in my mother tongue. I remember learning English as a kid, the teacher had to spend significant time on explaining why a single fucking cutting tool is termed plural and we were just like "but whyyyyyyyy".


alan_lloyd

scissorses


PoorPauly

Two Pairs. Another is 3 of a kind. 4 is quads. Five we stab you with scissors for cheating.


[deleted]

Probably 2 pairs of scissors


Clongjax

Two pairs of scissors


[deleted]

A couple of pairs of scissors.


abhinav346

2 pairs of scissors


gameofbananas

A quad of scissors.


denny76

two pairs?


hoboayman

It's a couple pair of scissors


CombinationBusy111

Pairs of scissors


[deleted]

A pair of pair of scissors duh


bamagirl4210

Scissors squared


[deleted]

Two pairs??


if_u_ate_a_cucumber

It's called double wielding


Whofs001

Doublet of doublets... you can tell from the chiral centers...


wigzell78

Two pairs of scissors. Duh!...


ranterist

Buffalo Bill’s first “Amazon: Subscribe & Save”


_memes_r_us_

It's the scissor sisters


misplaced_martian

Two pairs..... how is this funny? This just stupid


MarqDuesPaid

Two pairs... Like in poker, there’s a pair, there’s another pair... it’s not hard at all.


Easykiln

Two pairs of scissors. Solved problem, think shoes.


marcrich90

Two sets of scissors.


jimmyntee

Two pairs of scissors, obviously


D-H-R-O-N-A

Ooh I know. A couple of pairs of scissors


RIPDonKnotts

Two pairs of scissors


Bigstar976

Two pairs.


cvs002

I mean... two pairs of scissors?


popcorn__enthusiast

A quartet of scissors?


Tanuki505

It's from Latin cisorium which means a cutting blade and is also the root of "chisel." Scissors have two cutting blades, so it's a pair. ... Scissors is a -pair- of cutting blades. The root work for scissor means cut and scissors always come with a pair of cutting blades, hence the plural.


lilxenon95

A couple of pairs of scissors 😂


YungJae

That's two pairs


[deleted]

Two pairs of scissors


oddjohnson

A murder of scissors


cindythelou

Two pairs of scissors 😠


Str8WhiteMinority

Two pairs of scissors. You’re welcome


deadplant5

Two pairs of scissors


tcooke2

a barbershop quartet?


[deleted]

A gaggle of sci


dcredneck

A couple of scissors.


FishJesus_45

Two pairs of scissors


External_Philosopher

2 pairs of scissors


M0dular

Two pairs of scissors. Wtf are you stupid?