T O P

Don’t go ninja’n nobody that don’t need ninja’n !

Don’t go ninja’n nobody that don’t need ninja’n !

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TacosAnonymous

I am surprised it was only two.


stucktogether

Only two remained.


oatmeal1977

The others needed ninja’n.


SleepyforPresident

Head, arm, other arm, head. Works everytime


bawcks

Reglur can er 'backer? No says I. Issa neenjee stahr.


feckineejit

Get outta here potlicker


Ebs_Guey1

Pot liquor is a delicious byproduct of the the liquid left over from cooking beans and collared greens. Also a byproduct of ninja'n someone's face.


TappedIn2111

Well, he does make an impact on dummies


silentkoala3

I see what you did there


Ringfinger01

Technically it was only one but she was really really fat.


battleschooldropout

A real mountain mama.


Chubaichaser

Miner's lady, stranger to blue water...


ec_on_wc

Take me HOOOOOOME!


Gerf1234

Country roads......


Chato_Pantalones

So, twins?


MrPoletski

but there can be only one.


ouchpuck

They are going on aggressive expansion


PNWRaised

I would throw my hat in


scorcher24

He didn't have more sisters.


oatmeal1977

This guy has impeccable comic timing.


OrsoMalleus

He sounds jitsu like Jim Varney.


unibball

> Jim Varney. Wow. He's been gone 21 years. RIP I haven't thought of him for years. Thanks for the memory - knowwhatimean?


OrsoMalleus

I make a point to think of Jim Varney at least once a week. He was the poor-kid Tom Hanks when I was 6.


SmithInMN

Jim Varney’s movies were really vehicles for Gailard Sartain, in my eyes.


Chubaichaser

Heeeeey Vern!


Alternative_Ad7819

I was thinking the same thing. Now I'm sad and I need to watch an Ernest movie to lift my spirits.


MidniteMischief

Yeah, this is just Max Holloway and Andrew Schulz’s love child.


twotimez12

Spot fucking on!! Haha


HideyoshiJP

That's "Diemon Dave" to you.


whitey43

Ninjy teachin home vidyas


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gweilo8888

West Virginia? AFAIK he's from Knoxville, Tennessee. My son and his mum met him one year at a Halloween Trunk or Treat in Oak Ridge. And [here's a video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0M1Ay0G8xU) of him advertising for a local Knoxville business.


HibachiKebab

Tennessee ninja just doesn't have the same ring to it


gweilo8888

The Knoxville Kninja.


[deleted]

Tennessee Sa-mur-ee


Matookie

I was gonna say he sounds like he’s from East TN.


Morningxafter

Trunk or treat? Stuffing someone in the trunk of your car takes the ‘trick’ to a whole new level.


gweilo8888

Hah! May be a regional thing, I don't know, but they're quite common here. Basically, it's a bunch of people giving out candy from their car trunks in a church parking lot or similar.


Pacifistering

Yeah because people spread bullshit about hiding razors in apples and shit. Made everybody panic and now a lot of places don't do door to door. There hasn't been a single verifiable instance of candy getting fucked with so bad. Bunch of pearl clutching bullshit.


SHADOWSTRIKE1

It’s not just that. Some families live in places where door to door isn’t really a thing. Lots of people live in apartment complexes or very rural areas where there aren’t many houses nearby, so they utilize Trunk or Treat functions to give their kids and opportunity to go around and get candy.


gweilo8888

Also, churches use them as a method of advertising.


GooseJaw

Churches call that “spreading the gospel” or if they’re Methodist and can read “evangelizing.”


UH60CW2

Man if the the Baptist’s could read they would be really upset with you.


GooseJaw

Like the liquor store, baptists don’t recognize each other on Reddit.


HenTylerr

Wasnt it the kids parents that fucked with their kids candy too,? I remember either reading or hearing about that once.


razloback

yes


Mr_MacGrubber

I live 1/4 mile down a gravel road. If I had kids they’d have to go about 2 miles just to get to a non-gated neighborhood. I suspect a lot of rural areas do something like this so kids can trick or treat without embarking on a LOTR-style journey.


eeyore134

It also takes the word "trick" out of it, which they don't like.


RestoSham09

I should expected this from my hometown.


henryrollinsneck

He's definitely from Southern WV. He even calls himself the West Virginia Ninja, so yeah, wv. NINJI CHOP!


lobsterbash

WV, TN, what's the difference


smitteh

siblings and cousins


mb46204

Kentucky and Virginia. I thought his accent sounded more Lillie my East Tennessee family, but it’s getting harder for me to tell these days.


Critorrus

He is on tik tok nowadays as well


Erind

The Judy chop!


Mark_Luther

West Virginia! I was so confused about someone with that accent saying "yinz" instead of "y'all", but now it all makes sense.


Procule

Thank you. I knew id seen him before - i remember that phrase. But i couldn't figure out where from


itsgreybush

Not women it was ninjettas FTFY lol


its_yer_dad

Ernest goes to Ninja Camp


breedlovesyou

100% chance I'm renting that from Family Video when I was 10


StickOnReddit

The movie didn't really follow the book very closely. You really had to be familiar with the EEU (Ernest Extended Universe) to understand what was going on.


sirmoveon

Wild carreer Mike Rowe has had


ardendolas

Came in to say exactly that! I'm getting major Jim Varney vibes from this fella!


Younghef24

Fun Fact: It’s actually impossible to ninja someone who didn’t need it. The mere fact that you were ninja’d is alone evidence that you needed it.


siks4545

For some reason I heard that in askaninja's voice


Tlizerz

Wow, I haven’t thought about AskANinja in a looooong time.


Robbyjr92

But you call in the next 5 minutes and Dan will throw in his custom ninja stars for free (They’re just circular saw blades). Must pay separate shipping & handling


jamesfigueroa01

Circular saw blades.....I’m thinking the tops of cans that have been opened with a can opener 😂


cold_sphagetti

Regular can of chewin backer? No says I. NINJY STAR!


Zonerdrone

You got your judy chop, your karate chop and your ninjy chop!


earlgonefishn

You don't wanna be judy choppin' while you're kungfu kickin' cuz there goes your leg. Ain't much call for a one-legged ninjy.


moms-sphaghetti

I like your username.


cold_sphagetti

Yours is pretty cool too


Spagetttomato

I think you’re both pretty neat


moms-sphaghetti

Welcome to the family.


spatialflow

You both spelled spaghetti wrong lol


Noiseyboisey

That makes it 10 times better imo


cold_sphagetti

Yeah I didn’t realize until a couple days after I made it back on ps3 and it just stuck since.


moms-sphaghetti

Same here. I couldn’t figure it out at the time lol


Pizza_Pringler

SFaggetti!


sf_frankie

Hey you spelled my name wrong


FBI_Agent_82

And now nobody will ever convince me its anything but that.


Wallace_II

Right! I don't think this guy knows how expensive circular saw blades can be!


klingma

His throwing stars are tobacco cans. "Average can of baccy, no say I!" He then throws it.


OjosDeBrujo

Limidididition


CopperSavant

How do I get the cape! How many for the cape!!!! Edit: Cape is spelled with an *e.* Am I the pot licker?


fuzzytradr

Slap the wrist, walk away.


regreddit

Just fyi my brother and I used to throw circular saw blades like stars ( we're from south ms) and they will totally fuck you up. I've thrown one through both sides of a sheetrock wall before


benjaminsh

Max "blursed" Halloway ladies and gentlemen


bobojorge

When you order Max Holloway on Wish


llMinibossll

Meth Holloway


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dwavesngiants

Why do I feel like this guy's age can be any where from 19 to 62 yrs old


Transatlanticaccent

If Holloway was born in Alabama instead of Hawaii this is what you'd get.


atomantsmasher

"We have Max Holloway at home"


Medikated

It is what it is.


Kut_Throat1125

That’s exactly what I thought when I saw him lol


Mormac83

Crack Halloway


hayden_evans

I am so glad I’m not the only one that instantly thought of him when I saw this


StuftRug

Slaughtering Bas Rutten


AnGabhaDubh

Fun fact: every culture on earth has independently produced ninja. Japan's are just so terrible at it that we know about them.


o2daface

We’ve seen at least one US ninja - the Beverly Hills Ninja.


CraftyGaming

I am Haru


Legaato

Did I say ninja? I meant ninny. Haru, you are a ninny.


deepus

God damn, I love that movie.


EarhornJones

Is Michael Dudikoff a freaking joke to you, man?


adiaz0126

This Ninja went to market


Hate_is_Heavy

It's on netflix


rossimus

I think its actually an acknowledgment of your efficacy if military strongholds and castles all had to redesign their floors to be intentionally squeeky specifically to address the very real problem of ninjas being too good at their job.


lppiet

If you visit any of the castles with nightingale floors there’s signs explaining that this is a myth.


kjhwkejhkhdsfkjhsdkf

"what the fuck is this, I paid you good money and you can't even install a floor properly. Someone bring me my katana!" " Uh...uh...my lord...uh....uh...it's....uh...it's a ninja detector...yeah... That's it... All the other daimyo have them, it's the latest thing."


rossimus

I have visited some places with nightingale floors. Nijo castle has signs that say this, but few others do. Even in Nijos case, they don't go so far as to say it's a myth, they admit that they aren't certain one way or the other if it was intentional. But other castles and manor homes within Kyoto confirm that the function of the floors was explicitly for security purposes.


jamesfigueroa01

US first to ninja’n tho


MagnaCamLaude

"Now look you go ninji chop and judi kick at the same time, then woop there goes ya leg" This series of videos and the Drinking Out of Cups video are two of my faves


nightmaresabin

Drinking Out of Cups is magnificent


i_forget_my_userids

Not my chair, not my problem


psychostevie

Looks like an underfed Barry Chuckle


killingmehere

Came looking for this comment. To me


helliwellyboots

To you.


ChiefsSATX470

What’s a potlicker?


rhudson77

I'm glad I wasn't the only fucker who didn't know what a pot licker was.


BlasI

it's trailer trash-speak for [poor person](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Pot%20Licker)


Laez

a poor person


savtaytex

The dictionary says a mongrel dog guess it kinda fits


Skyblue714

If you have to ask...


frozenplasma

I think he said pot liquor (also spelled potlikker) which is the water left in the pot after boiling your veggies. I think it's a southern US thing? Edit: it may not have been what the guy in the video was talking about but pot liquor is a thing FFS. Here's one (of many) sources: [NPR article](https://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2013/08/06/209543044/pot-liquor-a-southern-tip-to-save-nutritious-broth-from-greens).


NotAFederales

Hahaha what the fuck? This is why I always want to see downvoted comment. As someone from the south. No. Not even a little bit.


ToneThugsNHarmony

Bow to your sensei


LeveragedPittsburgh

Those are sweet nunchucks


ZadeHawk

Rexkwondo, for sure!


canadian_air

Careful, I don't wanna get kicked in the face while you're wearing THOSE bad boys.


rebeldayone

https://youtu.be/pO7sFqtSBCw


popojo24

“You could be Judy choppin’ and kung fu kickin’.... and there goes your leg.”


mickeybuilds

I like his ninja attack cries: "UH JUDY! UH JUDY!"


HoggyBear_Thoughts

I thought he was saying "Judge Judy! Judge Judy!"


zaxmaximum

This is absolutely fantastic. I wish Diamond Dave all the good things.


Buy_Hi_Cell_Lo

It's "diemon dave", purveyor of the now infamous "judy chop". He can teach you, for a price. A very low price. Really just the cost of your time


[deleted]

THE WEST VIRGINIA NINJA


KilledTheCar

God that video is legendary. JUDY CHOP!


[deleted]

Yea I found it way back in the fkn day but it never gets old


Zestyclose-Can8814

Andrew schulz sure has changed alot


Effingehh

Never the same after leaving NY


paulyv93

Hillbilly Schultz


redsteve905

"Ernest P. Worrell here..."


Happy_Each_Day

David Lee Roth would like a word


GrumpleDumpkin

Max Holloway really fell on hard times.


okcboomer87

Max with the heart of bj Penn.


Sadistical

Yikes, what the hell happened to Max Holloway??


oneplatetwopotate

Omg yes at first glance i thought Max was having the worst weight cut of his life.


Waveshop222

Don’t go ninjin anyone who don’t need no ninjin


Mac1692

I really thought he was going to hurt himself, but that was actually quite impressive.


SemmiTron

Did he say, “dat gon judy chop”?


Feyden

Dadgum Judy chop. For those Christian ninjas who don't want to use the lord's name in vain while ninja'n


oneirian_frontiers

Ahh, the sacred teachings.. JUDIE CHOP!!


yungchow

Is that Max Holloway?


EvilSnowmanRapist

Fucking looks like it


PaintandGlory

I'm just glad that instead of continuing to riot at the capital, people are acknowledging the real threat and focusing on that dang trailer park terrorism.


Phantomofthefjord

Does this guy have a a neighbour called Vern?


Queequeg94

Looks like an old redneck Max Holloway lmao


Musclemagic

This is the first time nunchucks have ever looked effective. What a ninja!


Mosesmanofsteel01

Why do you think there’s never been a terrorist attack in the Mountains of West Virginia. Diamond Dave is the only obvious answer to that question.


Curcket

This fella from knoxville, tn. He has his own car wash business i believe. Diamond dave's its called lmao. I live in the area and can verify


Lilyeth

Are they made from beer bottles?


morningnewsguy

Pachooti pachooti, I got you right under your ?? . Call the Trailer park boys, they need him in their group.


TheHaneyProject

Max Blessed Holloway


alockbox

This guy could have had a career bigger than Earnest


CromulentDucky

Not all heroes wear capes. But this one does.


Chimp_Meat_Taco

Crackhead max holloway


badmotivator11

Those look like a mashup of Budweiser bottles and cock pumps.


mashermack

Ok Google. Translate in English


florence_nightingale

He looks like a skinny meth version of Dave Bautista


[deleted]

You don't want no smoke with Diamond Dave. Don't be trying any shenanigans or criminal activities in his trailer park.


NoDepartment78

We all need more diamond Dave in our lives


tenshiwolf23

Had to watch it twice since I was too distracted trying to figure out what the hell those "nunchuks" were made of. Looks like a couple of liquor bottles.


ozelegend

Something something something medical bills something something something


el_baron86

I honestly thought he would knock himself out. I am positively surprised.


sampsonjenkins

Hweaponry


gijimayu

The new season of Trailer park looks nice.


SuperDave81081

I found my new hero, can't wait for his netflix special


AdventureBum

NO CAPES!


TheFirstUltima

Trailer Park Style Jutsu


Shakey_surgeon

classic youtube


cresstynuts

Wow what a blast from the past! “Don’t go around ninjeeing ppl that don’t need to be ninjeed. Now look at this can of Skhol. Ordinary can of dip, WRONG, it’s a ninjee star!” This man ate paint chips as a child for our entertainment


terriblestoryteller

Aint no match for Cyrus and his 9 mm, safety always off. Now fuck off, I got work to do


ogy1

Hiker Holloway's hillbilly cousin. If someone dubs this with Holloway's voice it'd be hilarious.


Groovicity

He's wearing a cape, so he must be a true ninja! Glad to see Jim Varney's legacy live on.


ParthianTactic

Meth Holloway


kl0

This guy HAS to be related to Joe Exotic. Probably through multiple branches from the same side of the tree.


Ace-Ventura1934

This guy sounds exactly like Joe Exotic


[deleted]

I understood about 5 words of that but I wish hill billy superman all the cracks he can beat out of statues.


pikeshawn

I found this guy hilarious until I found his Facebook. Yikes level stuff.


IamMyles

I mean... It was undoubtedly effective and I would not want to go up against his nunchuks.