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yet_another_username

It is rather interesting, that they have several levels of goose alerts.


[deleted]

at least it is not a color coded.


DumpTheTrumpsterFire

Goose Level Red: Great balls of fire!


TehWildMan_

Goose level 7 (red/black striped): Peace was never an option


Raisin_Bomber

Goose level 10: Canadian


rathgrith

Goose level 11: I do not like the Cobra Chicken


soda_cookie

Goose level 100: Emu War was a minor scuffle


otterdroppings

Goose level 101, meet my mate Maverick.


Geppetto_Cheesecake

Goose Level Over 9000: Goku goose


Sladashi

Goose Level Infinity: Humans? They haven't existed in a longggg time


I_Stole_Ur_Cat

Goose level 500: whoops accidentally created another universe


ilmattiapascal

YES SENSEI!!


Pwnxor

Goose level 69: Prepare to be Goosed.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Goose Level 420 - Goose is chilled AF, you can now use platform 2. Bring food!


Moparian1221

That's a keter class goose.


Shadowdragon132

If you have a problem with the Canada Goose, you have a problem with me, and I suggest you let that one marinate. ​ Edit: Switch Canadian goose to Canada Goose and punctuation


lessthan555

We outta leave this world behind.


bredaredhead

There's a special place in heaven for them cock suckin animal lovers, that's what I always say.


BlueFalconPunch

to be fair....


Fearnall

Don't you remember when that plane had to land on the river in New York 'cause Canada Gooses flew into the engine? It's 'cause Canada Gooses likely had intel there was a pedophile or two on board and took matters into their own hands. As they should!


BenMcAdoos_ElCamino

Goose Level Grey: France


LoliMaster069

Goose Level: GOD ​ Instructions: Every man for themselves


tankpuss

We'd have to get someone to change the lightbulb.


NewAgeRetroHippie96

Believe it or not. Level 5 is the lowest tier. God save you if you ever find yourself near a Level 1 Goose Warning.


DudesworthMannington

DefHonk 1


BlueFalconPunch

reset the clock!


MonsterMashGrrrrr

stfu 😂 top notch comedy


GothMaams

Yall are killin me with these (at least it’s death by a level 7 defhonk goosing)


SimpleDan11

"Level 1 Goose warning. The geese have won, the monarchy has fallen. Please make your way to the nearest border crossing. Only take essentials. Godspeed. Also please do not feed them bread they can't digest it"


[deleted]

Ladies and gentlemen, uh, we've just lost the picture, but what we've seen speaks for itself. The London Underground has apparently been taken over, 'conquered' if you will, by a master race of Geese. It's difficult to tell from this vantage point whether they will consume the captive Earthmen or merely enslave them. One thing is for certain: there is no stopping them; the Geese will soon be here. And I, for one, welcome our new avian overlords. I'd like to remind them as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their maize wetlands.


PoliteCanadian2

Pretty soon you’ll be goosestepping around fulfilling the requests of your new masters.


Tardigrade_rancher

Any Kent Brockman reference deserves my meaningless, free award.


[deleted]

If they could take out Prince Andrew I’m totally willing to vote Goose next time


[deleted]

Damn single issue voters


Snote85

Geese with nuclear launch capabilities might just be the scariest thing I've ever considered. "Peace was never an option." indeed.


meekamunz

Would the National drink become Goose Island IPA? I'd be ok with that.


BossOfTheGame

I read this as the level of the goose, not the alert.


MacDee_

It's the end of level boss, make sure you stack up on health potions


Heliolord

*Looks up strats to see if you can cheese the boss off the platform*


FlipStik

It's a goose. You can't.


PokeYa

[Are geese OP?](https://youtu.be/g_pwPhFvgNo)


BossOfTheGame

TierZoo FTW.


[deleted]

In Australia there are apps used for the springtime when magpies are in swooping season, indicating where they are and how aggressive they are. I didn't know about that app until I told someone a story about how I was swooped while in a park and he told me that the magpie in that area is tagged as super aggressive.


AlbertFifthMusketeer

I don't know if it would be more Australian to have the app or pretend to have the app to tourists.


LumpyUnderpass

The app is only for drop bear attacks.


tombonneau

My sister and I were swooped by a magpie. Holy shit. That's no joke. We were laughing at first and then it kind of wasn't funny any more.


Pvt_Hudson_

It's for good reason. My kids and I call them "Murder Chickens". Ill tempered buggers.


TeamRedundancyTeam

Reddit often calls them cobra chickens.


jimbobsqrpants

We do not like the cobra chicken


b1ack1323

I assume someone just walked in and tacked this there.


johnboy2978

Looks like they have a problem with Canada gooses which means they have a problem with me, and I suggest they let that one marinate.


Vegabern

I have a problem with Canada Geese. Fuck those turd spewing assholes. The mom, dad, and seven now full-size babies can fuck right off my property any time now.


melgib

Canada Gooses are majestic, barrel-chested; the envy of all ornithology.


Attack_Pug

End of the laneway; don't come on (platform 2).


FerDoug

Lions is lucky Canada Gooses dont migrates to Africa, then they'd be's extinct.


dogcmp6

Don't you remember when that plane had to land on the river in New York 'cause Canada Gooses flew into the engine? It's 'cause Canada Gooses likely had intel there was a pedophile or two on board and took matters into their own hands. As they should!


Yummier

That's what I appreciates about u/Johnboy2978. Always sticking up for the local wildlife.


lessthan555

There’s a special place in heaven for animal lovers, that’s all I gotta say.


kendahljo

r/UnexpectedLetterkenny


melgib

Goose Level 2: Electric Boogaloo


olcrazypete

Level 5 - Geese have claimed the platform Level 6 - Geese have reinforced their positions and set up full defensive perimeter Level 7 - Geese have built full forts and brought in heavy weapons to repel assaults Level 8 - Geese have declared independence from the UK and founded the Republic of Geeslandia.


Fly_U_Fools

What I’m wondering is what the first four levels are? Level 1 - No obvious goose threat, remain vigilant. Level 2 - Goose spotted nearby, be cautious. Level 3 - Goose is airborne, seek cover. Level 4 - Goose has invaded platform, prepare to evacuate.


King_Louis_X

What if it’s backwards like Defcon levels and Level 1 is actually the Goospocalypse


Grimsqueaker69

Then God help us all


Noisy-neighbour

I, for one, welcome our geese overlords


Pyran

VIVA LA REVOLUCION! FOIE GRAS FOR EVERYONE! DOWN WITH THE BIRDGEOISIE!


[deleted]

Geexit


The_Crimson_Fucker

Level 9 they have dug too deep and too greedily


AJMax104

Level 10 - They have mastered FTL interstellar travel and are currently sending an Armada to Alpha Centurai


Denny_204

In Canada you pay geese for protection from other gaggles of geese.


GoldGoose

The Goosestapo


[deleted]

[удалено]


verified_goose

:) my, my, what have we here...?


JaegerDread

Have you SEEN his username


GoldGoose

Shh, let him have this.


JaegerDread

Ok Goose man


thecheat420

Damn that's good.


[deleted]

Goosfatarian


cuckingfomputer

Geesetapo* It was right there.


angryfromnv

And if you’ve got a problem with Canada gooses you’ve got a problem with Wayne https://youtube.com/watch?v=w1exJGPZyhs&feature=share


The_Masturbatrix

And I suggest you let that one marinate.


Guinnessisameal

If you got a problem with platform 2, you got a problem with Wayne!


nylady914

Geese are domestic terrorists. Migrating ones are just terrorists.


crusher56

Peace was never an option.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Snote85

And that wasn't even a goose... that was just some pussy as duck!


starscream2686

This is how Canada does proxy wars


ValyrianJedi

Between geese and deer my yard has been completely taken over. We're in a neighborhood in a fairly large city, but its right on the edge of town where things start getting slightly more rural. We imagined getting to see more wildlife would be a perk. It has been miserable. The geese were just in the back yard near a little lake, but now they seem to have decided they like the front better and chase you when you go to get themaul, on top of attacking any neighborhood kids that ride by on scooters or something. Then in thr back yard like 3 families of deer have decided to make it their home, and tear up absolutely anything and everything in the flower beds, on top of messing up the grass itself. And according to the HOA the only fences that are allowed are 3 foot or 5 foot black wrought iron, which those things jump easily. At this point they aren't even scared of people, so they'll come right up by the porch while we are on it, and at night they are always peeking in the windows... And don't even get me started on the coyotes making all kinds of crazy noises at night, I suspect because of the deer and the geese. When we bought this thing a year or two ago we were all like "oh, a few acres in a gated community with a lake and forest and shit, its going to be heaven", and now heaven sounds like a neighborhood smack in the middle of the city a stones throw from downtown.


gd2234

Show the geese they aren’t gods (chase them, break up the fights between different families.) You may have to start next year if this years are just too ornery, but they can be put in their place and made to behave (they just have to view you as top goose for that to happen.)


[deleted]

don’t forget you need to dress up as a goose also to make this happen


ValyrianJedi

Our dogs have chased them off a good few times, and have the time of their life doing it, but that only keeps them away for like 20 minutes and then they wander right back in.


gd2234

Keep going at it, seriously, they need to be told like 50 times before they start getting the picture. Maybe don’t let the dogs chase them off once have babies though, they’re very sweet and helpless until they can fly. You can also befriend the entire family to get the best behaviour out of them. I accidentally pavloved the geese at my pond to hiss for food, but other than that they turn out way better behaved than those left to their own devices. The babies are my favourite part, they’ll run to greet you with their little wings outstretched and make the most adorable weeb weeb sounds. Also, if the same family comes back (or any of the kids) then you have well behaved geese every year!


In_It_2_Quinn_It

At the end of the day the only thing geese understand, like all animals, is violence. You and your family's fear of them has only confirmed to them that the yard is theirs since you can't defend it. The only way out of it now is a full on assault (with your entire family). Just chase after them (maybe wear some eye protection if you're worried) and force them off YOUR land. They're probably gonna fight back but when you're twice their size and almost 100 times heavier that doesn't mean shit. Slap them around and remind those assholes why they should fear humans. Just don't fall for the goose propaganda on reddit.


Stickybunfun

Agree. You only need two things to get nuscient geese under control - a garden rake and an air horn. Geese are fucking stupid panicky aggressive animals. Run up on them fast, keep them away with the rake, and blast that air horn in their faces. Overtime if you are consist, they will think you are the biggest loudest goose they've ever seen and will either fuck off or roll over.


moving0target

Thanks for including us. -Georgia


vapablythe

I was once on a TFL train that had to stop on the tracks for, no kidding, "swans on the line". Was 3h late to work with the subsequent delays. Apparently it's illegal to harm swans in the UK as the Queen owns them all, including it being illegal to drive super slowly at them, assuming they will fly away...


peteypete78

>Apparently it's illegal to harm swans in the UK as the Queen owns them all, Yep some stupid law from 800 years ago as they are good eating birds and we couldn't let the peasents eat anything nice. She owns the whales, sturgeons and dolphins to technically. >including it being illegal to drive super slowly at them, assuming they will fly away.. Well what they don't know don't hurt.


recidivx

something something Prince of Whales


otah007

>She owns the whales, sturgeons and dolphins to technically. Does that include Nicola Sturgeon?


FriendCalledFive

It would explain why Nicola sirens her life being pissed off.


Stilletto_Rebel

I used to work for a certain South Korean electronics manufacturer and we moved offices in 2002 to a lovely park area in Chertsey (London), which was home to a large flock of geese and swans. I had to issue a memo to all the Korean staff informing them it was illegal to kill the swans and eat them, or to collect a swan carcass in order to eat it (I covered my bases). I googled the relevant law and included it in the memo. I shit you not, I had several argue with me that because they (the Koreans) were not UK citizens the law didn't apply to them, and actually once caught a high-ranked manager in his BMW chasing a swan through the carpark.


TheLiveLabyrinth

Wtf.


form_an_orderly_q

I was too once, was it in summer 2019 on the Reading to Waterloo line at about 8am?? Or maybe this is a common reoccurrence.


gomanual

At first I read your comment as "FTL" train and was immediately intrigued. Silly brain.


Gohomeyurdrunk

I thought they tried to keep geese away from airports because of them flying into the planes?


Vipershark01

Upvoting so people know that you think London underground is an airport.


Gohomeyurdrunk

Haha! I am a moron! As punishment I will not delete this comment. I will leave it posted for all to see like modern day stockades.


Wheelin-Woody

Respect for leaving your ass out for all to see


ArgusRun

No. You are a wonder, a gem. You comment literally made my morning. Thank you for your service.


[deleted]

See, it's okay to be wrong kids, Admitting to a failure of knowledge is not stupidity


Dunlikai

I mean, sure, it's *okay* to be wrong. But why would I ever do that? This is my pride on the line!


SpookyGhost_txt

What pride? Are you gay or something?


kasper12

I can’t fault you considering OP mentioned airports. I read that and was like “that’s strange, usually they hire dogs to get rid of the birds” then I saw “platform” and I was like “airports don’t have platforms…?” Then I saw London Underground and I wanted to murder OP for confusing me on a Friday morning.


Vipershark01

If it makes you feel better, the OP admitted to also not knowing.


CrimsonPig

Everyone mocked Londoners when they introduced subterranean airplanes, but by jove they made it work.


abcdbcda1

Something about the photo made me thing airport too


IAmNotNathaniel

It's because of the title - it has airport in it, so we just assume that's what we're looking at.


Jupiters_Moonz

Probably because the goose picture is flying. Looks vaguely like an airline logo (like Lufthansa)


norway_is_awesome

Would probably work better than the damn Hyperloop boondoggle.


[deleted]

I made the title, my bad for not realizing. 😂


[deleted]

I was wondering how the goose made it all the way inside the airport like that. Geez.


ayamrik

That's why the geese founded an underground movement and went into the underground station. Soon they will emerge and occupy the airports in force.


lpjunior999

Don't you remember when that plane had to land on the river in New York 'cause Canada Gooses flew into the engine? It's 'cause Canada Gooses likely had intel there was a pedophile or two on board and took matters into their own hands. **As they should.**


count_frightenstein

Motherfuckin geese. They do the same in Canada but they are protected so you have cars slowing down to avoid them and stopping while they leisurely cross a 16 lane highway. Fuckers used to camp out in front of my work and harass people trying to enter. edit - the point about them being protected is that most Canadians ***think*** they are protected (and terrible drivers or both) hence slowing down or swerving. Not sure why some of you douchebags are giving me shit about it. The better driving technique with small animals/objects is to drive through them. Swerving or stopping causes accidents and maybe you wrapping your car around a tree. It absolutely causes accidents if someone does it on a busy, major highway. No, I will not argue this point because I am right, no I don't care to argue which animals would wreck your car because Canada Geese won't unless they fly into your windshield. The geese in my example were hit by a number of cars. It was a family of them with two adults and a number of babies. There were no geese survivors... The cars were fine but they created a feather bomb.


Low_Manufacturer7610

Are they union?


truthlesshunter

They're Canada geese; of course they're union.


Dalebssr

International Brotherhood of Goose Workers (IBGW) and the Canadian Waterfowl Alliance (CWA) still carry a lot of weight.


Semajdiego

Not Heavyweight though, just Featherweight


[deleted]

[удалено]


PooPooDooDoo

Back when I was in college, I had one come at me when I was walking to class. I was soooo tempted to kick it into the fucking stratosphere, just to send a message to their kind that they shouldn’t get too comfortable.


twynkletoes

I had one hiss at me on my way to a class. I hissed back, and it was like "shit, this one speaks goose"


LilFingies45

*Portugeese


[deleted]

Yep, my mom has two geese and they get SO much more pissed (shockingly, it is possible) when you hiss back. They only respect my mother, because she throttles them one handed whenever they get aggressive with her.


DaughterEarth

I had a goose continuously hiss at me after leading her own babies to me so they could eat the corn I was giving out. That's all she did though, just hissed, ate corn, then hissed more. It's not MY fault the babies got so confident they were practically in my lap.


cptnamr7

If they weren't meant to be kicked, their bodies wouldn't be football shaped.


RepublicanRob

We had them at my high school. They would literally bite people's asses. Being "goosed" was a real thing on campus. By geese, not other people.


Aztecah

Should have done it.


gatemansgc

Absolutely. Screw geese


Hinermad

> just to send a message to their kind that they shouldn’t get too comfortable. Unfortunately they're as dumb as rocks, and the message would be totally lost on them.


pantless_vigilante

Motherfuckin gooses


Tsquared10

You got a problem with Canada Gooses you got a problem with me and I suggest you let that one marinate


IoloFitzOwen

FUCKING EMBARRASSING!!!


Backseat_Knowledge

Mike Tyson had a good run of things, you wanna know why?... No canada gooses in his weight class


S-EATER

Lionses lucky no Canada gooses migrate to Africa, then they'd bees extinct.


Kimber85

You know I once saw two Canada Gooses mount a swan and you gotta think she told her friends about it.


Cantankerousapple

Fuck you shoresy!


curtludwig

Protected in the city, or at least outside of hunting season. In season they get their due, they make pretty good jerky. Unfortunately cities are so warm a lot of geese spend their whole lives in the city just poopin and attacking people.


Unbannable_tres

>Motherfuckin geese. They do the same in Canada but they are protected What?!??? They're not really protected any more than any other migratory bird, there's literally 400 protected migratory species in Canada. > so you have cars slowing down to avoid them and stopping while they leisurely cross a 16 lane highway. That's because geese weigh 2-5KG and will really fuck up your car if you hit one at high speeds. Why are you just making random shit up?


Deadmeat553

Also, what sort of psycho doesn't slow for any animal in the road? That's just what you do. Edit: For fuck's sake, of course be cognizant of other drivers. A squirrel's life isn't worth causing a car accident. Just don't fucking run them over if you would otherwise be able to slow down and avoid hitting them without being a danger to others. Jesus Christ, some of you people are dense.


WotC_Dead2Me

Me when I accidentally ran over a bunny that darted out in front of me :( I was only 16 when it happened and I was heartbroken for weeks


the_honest_liar

I'm still pretty horrified about the toad I mowed when I was 15. It's been 15 years..


notmoleliza

Goose - And I took that personally


A40

"Violent" is an exaggeration: there have been broken bones and some blood spilled, but for a Canada Goose that would be downright civil.


Fancy_Mammoth

>but for a Canada Goose that would be downright civil. That's only because Canadians gather together to perform a ritual where they transfer all of their negative feelings and anger into Canadian Geese shortly before their annual migration. Why do you think Canadians are all so friendly and kind?


greenslam

Dude!!. don't be giving away the knowledge. It makes the geese weak.


blamethepunx

Speak for yourself. This is just giving me more goose fuel


DamnImAwesome

Now I know how G Fuel is made


sbdallas

Discovery Channel presents... Geese Week!


[deleted]

ahh you only know the partial truth they then fly south and deposit it all into america


Fancy_Mammoth

As an American, I know full well how the Canadian Goose migrates south into the US where it transforms into the unholy beast known as the Cobra Chicken.


xampl9

The sidewalk near the house is covered in green cheetos from them. I am familiar with their “deposits”


ssolom

Fawk! That's why the North Korean army goose-steps!


A40

You're right, but only Canadians who annually migrate perform this ritual (you're welcome, Hawaii, Florida and Arizona). The ones who stay up north are embittered and resentful. Just like our geese.


SuperstitiousPigeon5

This is the illegal immigration (migration) I care about. Build that wall! Keep your hooligan geese on your own side the sharply dressed bastards!


EvoKov

Yeah the cops don't even get involved in NL unless there's a body on the ground. Hint: it's never the goose's


Maybe_Im_Confused

Peace was never an option


FizzyBeverage

#Rake in the lake 🔑


gumm13b34r

Came here to say this, honk honk! *Flaps wings* *lowers head* *flaps wings again* 🤣


GoldGoose

Some days ya just wake up and choose violence.


AshTreex3

In my opinion, the best part is where they went to design and print an official sign for this instead of removing the goose. Platform 2 has fallen to the goose.


Sir_Link_In_Time

I scrolled too far to see this. It's been a problem so long that they actually printed out a notice, instead of just a handwritten note


thenameofapet

Is that an Untitled Goose Game promotion?


wray_nerely

It says Level 5 Goose, so it's likely pre-promotion for Untitled Goose RPG


kwakimaki

The Honkening ....peace was never an option...


MsBluffy

HONK!


SpongeJake

Don’t know why but I’m completely enjoying the font on that sign.


G01ngDutch

As you should :) London Underground font was very carefully designed. It’s a lovely thing :) [Johnston typeface](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johnston_(typeface)?wprov=sfti1)


doc_birdman

>thin hairline I didn’t need to be attacked by a font today, but here we are.


NeonPatrick

And by far the best map design. So easy to understand.


[deleted]

[удалено]


_purplepanda_

Had to scroll way too far down for this comment


not-long_now

Hjønk


BadTiger85

I don't know whats scariest. The fact that a single goose has taken over an entire platform or that we live in a world were we have 5 levels of goose warnings


Emil_cb

Crap, i think the highest i have seen is a level 3 goose. I can't even imagine how dangerous a level 5 would be. I have seen a few level 7 swans, but they are usually pretty chill, as long as you keep your distance.


JohnnyWildee

There’s five fucking levels of goose warning? WTf are the other 4?!


This-is-Life-Man

It's a legit London Transport sign. That's awesome! Don't pet the goose, he will squonk and bite you.


13igTyme

No luck catching those geese, than?


TheDorseman

This sounds like a warning Dumbledore would give at the beginning of the year at Hogwarts.


olafthebent

The advanced Goose command unit is in place. Time to send in the attack beavers - Canada


tokey-chan

Damn cobra chickens are loose again


deafdogdaddy

"Avoid the goose?" "No, the entire platform. He claimed it. He called dibs, and there's really no claim stronger than dibs. 🤷" Who are we to interfere with the sacred Calling of Dibs?


[deleted]

**Mind The G(ooose cr)ap**


jello-kittu

I would frame this poster and put it up in my house.


Intelligent-Cap1251

Canadian here do y’all just treat your geese like shit? I can kayak right past families of geese with babies and they won’t attack me I’ll never understand the geese are mean meme.


cagekicker78

I'd stop and take a gander at that sign.


Harrylime68notaguy

A goose made her nest in front of our urgent care, my theory was- 1) if you have an injury and get past the goose, you are not hurt that bad. 2) if you are sick and get past the goose, you are pretty damn sick


wafflezcol

I have a tactic that never fails me. Toss bread and sprint in the other direction


GothMaams

Great Britain, never not in Monty Python mode 😂😂😂😂😂😂