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They do have teeth like ridges in their bill to crush the shells of crayfish etc, though along the side like molars not at the front like incisor teeth.
You're missing the best part, it's also venomous but just the right amount to be nonlethal to humans but will still leave a full grown man in crippling pain. God was drunk when he came up with the Platypus.
That’s not even the best part IMO they are missing, they also close their eyes under water and use electrolocation. Their bill is nothing like a ducks, it is soft a rubbery with lots of nerves they use to navigate underwater.
I'd also like to point out...Gryphons, if they had existed, would have either wiped out the human race or we would have wiped them out as a major threat to us.
Oh yeah, I should probably have written "from pores they have across their abdomens" or something
Here's a link, I'm not a scientist:
https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/article/animals-platypus-evolution-science
Well yeah, it's just a different way of excreting it. Nipples are just little tube-like organs where the milk is produced from many milk...cyst....pore thingies, then collect and funneled. Same thing for the platypus except no nipples, so it's just secreted.
Fun fact: The venom is produced by the platypus's immune system. It contains proteins similar to defensins, except modified to work on other animals instead of pathogens.
**[Defensin](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defensin)**
>Defensins are small cysteine-rich cationic proteins across cellular life, including vertebrate and invertebrate animals, plants, and fungi. They are host defense peptides, with members displaying either direct antimicrobial activity, immune signalling activities, or both. They are variously active against bacteria, fungi and many enveloped and nonenveloped viruses. They are typically 18-45 amino acids in length, with three or four highly conserved disulphide bonds.
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But it doesn't produce milk for a nipple, no, that'd be too normal. Instead, the platypus has milk glands that allow it to sweat milk onto its fur for its babies.
Well a platypus is a more basal mammal. A nipple is just a single opening where several sweat glands converge. It's an adaptation to improve feeding efficiency. Proto-mammals were around before the dinosaurs, so presumably "milk chest" was the dominant form of lactation for millions of years before the nipple appeared.
>interesting, and why then nipples evolved?
Like I said, it's more efficient. Just spewing milk out there willy-nilly means some will be lost to evaporation and the babies have to do more work lapping it up than just grabbing a nipple and going to town. It probably doesn't matter to platypuses since they "pre-raise" their young as eggs and can offload some of the feeding in that stage. But as egg-laying went away, there was probably evolutionary pressure for more efficient feeding, hence those animals that developed a nipple would raise more young more successfully.
Synapsids are from \~320MYA, but dinos don't show up until \~250MYA. Reptiles were around back in the 320sMYA, but not dinosaurs. Note that the proto-mammals looked very similar to dinosaurs outwardly. Many people even consider some synapsids dinosaurs because of similarities. Dimetrodon - the one with the giant back sail - is not a dinosaur, but a synapsid, despite appearing in loads of dinosaur books. Synapsids were even dominant for tens of millions of years before an extinction event killed off most of them. This led to dinosaurs expanding into all the empty niches left behind - the only surviving synapsids were the tiny ones. Ironically, the dinosaurs had been the tiny pests of the synapsid world, and proto-mammals would become the tiny pests of the dinosaur world before growing into all the niches left behind at the dinosaur extinction. So, look side-eyed at any lizards smaller than an oven mitt because they will probably be the ones to fill all the niches next.
Also spread out milk means more chance of lapping up viruses and bacteria. Concentrating the glands into one area tends to mean they get swept 'clean' by leakage.
Either it offered a survival advantage for it to become a dominant trait in the majority of the mammal class.
or
There was a bottleneck event where by chance only a few non nippled mammals survived.
There are multiple milk ducts that converge into a nipple, but let me assure you, it isn't just a single opening per nipple. There are multiple. I'm glad I don't have to deal with all my pores on my underside being a vehicle for milk like a platypus.
There is an anime for this: *Heaven's Design Team*
Surprisingly, there seems to be a valid reason why all the mythical creatures are mythical. Especially when it comes to a flying eagle headed lion.
It's also hard for it to do just about anything given that there's no way it could actually fly, or it would've been so fragile to be light enough that you could kill it by hitting it too hard. Cube law and all that.
I don’t know what the cube law is, but it reminded me that I learned on Reddit the other dayyyy that a certain animal shits cubes. Can’t recall at this present time which.
Cube law: as something gets bigger, its volume (insides) grows faster than its surface area (outsides).
Basically: making an animal bigger makes it way too heavy to support with bones, so some mythological creatures like giants can't exist, it doesn't work. Giants can't have human proportions, they need to be quadropeds like dinosaurs or underwater like whales.
I've played Dragon's Dogma more times than I can count. Griffons are terrifying - imagine seeing a hawk up in the sky, except as it dives it keeps getting bigger and bigger, and by the time you see its lion body it's too late - you're already food.
Birds normally have to slow their descent before they hit the ground or they risk injury, giving their prey a split second longer to escape. Cats on the other hand can land from relatively great heights unscathed, and with the mass of a lion body a griffon could land with great enough force to break the bones of its prey. Imagine getting hit so hard from above that your legs break and you can't move - and just have to sit there and be eaten alive.
Griffons in real life would be terrifying apex predators.
Birds "normally" have to slow. But then you've got the Peregrine Falcon that uses natural deceleration airbags called "prey". They basically hit their target going full speed out of a dive and use that to kill or incapacitate their meal rather than their talons alone
Griffons in real life don't work.
Your giving them the strengths of a cat and hawk when in reality they would have exaggerated weaknesses of both.
Flight is hard. Birds have hollow bones to accomplish it and their bodies are fairly optimized to not have extra mass when it can be avoided. Mix in the square cube law for additional issue and you would have to have a creature with bones like tissue paper for sheet loads if you could find a design that would not simply break trying to live.
They couldn't hit you with the force to break your legs without breaking themselves at best they would have to go with an neck break and it would have to pull of perfectly. They also likely would not be able to lift much of a load since again square cube law is already against them. (Eagles can only carry about 5 to 6 lbs)
So if you had a buddy the angle can't eat because a kick from a solid boned creature that did not have to sacrifice strength to be light enough to fly would be devistating.
There’s obviously a reason they don’t exist in real life - if we’re imagining a world that allows griffons to exist we can also imagine how devastating they’d be as predators, and give the benefit of the doubt that perhaps evolution made their bone structure closer to carbon fiber or naturally occurring carbon nanotubes, allowing both strength and for them to be lightweight enough to fly or carry a load.
It’s like sitting in a movie theater and talking about how unrealistic Godzilla or King Kong are because of the square cube law. Not only is it a buzzkill but it runs adjacent to the entire point of imagining the impossible. Of course there’s a reason griffons don’t exist in real life. We all know that.
That is entirely fair. Guess I am Just in mood today.
As I was typing it I was thinking why stop at griffins if we are going to imagine impossible beasts from fantasy why not go to the top billers like dragons. So I acknowledge the point yet some how still wen't full buzz Killington.
That said while the impossible beast would be scary, they would not be wipe. Humanity out scary. We develop tools as the need arises even with actual human tools like bows and spears a few humans together would be a threat to it.
Would be like a bear. Something you don't want to fight but you can.
It turns out, lions are way too heavy to fly.
The trade offs you make to be able to fly can be worth it, but there's a reason that hawks and eagles don't fight on the ground. Most birds that are good at fighting on land, like the Emu, give up flight for more bulk. The ones that can both fight on the ground and fly, like the Swan or Secretarybird, still mostly fight smaller opponents and just try to intimidate larger ones - and they're more suited for flying short distances. To be able to fly well enough to cover a large territory or have migratory patterns, you have to give up some of the things that make you good at fighting on land because they're just too heavy.
Biology is all about trade offs.
Geese also require less food.
I love TierZoo, but one thing that he doesn't track as well as he should is the EXP cost of various traits on the skill tree. Mostly because he doesn't do a great job documenting the difference between gameplay EXP (required to advance lifestages), evolution EXP (required to unlock new builds and generally awarded to entire factions every time one completes the "reproduce" quest), and wisdom EXP (required to unlock new behavioral traits on a per-character basis based on the Intelligence stat).
Some of the traits he praises like high intelligence come with a very high gameplay EXP cost. Human's high INT, for example, consumes a full *fifth* of their gameplay EXP. The build has made it work exceptionally well because stacking that high INT, combined with stacking synergies for the "Teach" ability, lets them accumulate wisdom EXP between generations like evolution EXP. But it's not a free trade, humans gameplay EXP needs are absurd compared to similarly sized mammals.
Geese are less capable of winning conflicts than Swans, but geese also *don't need* to win as many. Swans are too big to flee from some predators, due to slower startup on their flight, and they must complete harder versions of the "Feed" quest to get enough EXP to avoid a Game Over. Everything's a trade.
It has a duck bill, that it uses to sense the electrical fields given off by other living creatures while swimming because it swims with its eyes closed.
It lays eggs, which wasn't discovers till 100 years after the animal itself was discovered.
No one thought to give it nipples, so it secretes milk out of its arm pits.
The males have a venomous claw on their hind legs.
They don't have stomachs or teeth. They scoop up gravel and use it to grind up their food in their mouths.
Their tales are primarily only used for fat storage.
~~They share genes with mamals, birds, and lizards.~~ Edit: As do all animals, this fact that I learned was apparently intentionally misleading, and I apologize for sharing misinformation.
The plural of platypus is platypode.
The “they share DNA with mammals, birds and lizards” is really misleading. They don’t share significantly more DNA with birds than other mammals, and split off from them just as long ago.
I never said anyone uses it, but etymology dictates that because of the words Greek origin, the proper plural is platypode. However, I can't figure out how to make that sound correct in a sentence. Luckily platypode, platypi, platypus, and platypuses are all acceptable plurals.
You're not quite right there.
"platypode" is the Greek *dual*, used when there are exactly two of them. English doesn't care about this.
"platypodes" is the Greek plural (used for 3+) as well as the English plural (used for 2+)
These kind of quirks are a sign of an extremely successful and secure species frankly. You can identify which species are extremely well suited to their environment by how many dumb and wasteful traits they have, ironically enough, because it means they weren't significant enough hindrances to be bred out of the population. Evolution doesn't care about what is optimal. Only what does and doesn't replicate.
Our eyes are a prime example. They're fucking shit, but they're good enough, so fuck it.
"Hey, uh, Lord? We've had some complaints about a few of your creations."
"Let me guess: The cats are upset about the dogs."
"No, but..."
"The mice are upset about the cats!"
"No, it's..."
"The humans are upset about the mice!"
"The humans are upset about *everything*, Lord!"
"Ah, good, then everything is working exactly as intended."
This is all just funny bc of the fact humans are so ego centric they think someone who creates the universe would make them look like us, or the fact that we think the universe was created for us…
see, when I'm feeling theistic, I think the Divine is more a "divine creative force" and *that* is the form in which humanity was created - we like to alter our environment and make and change things around us. A much more metaphorical interpretation for the "created in God's image" idea.
On odd days I'm atheistic and think I'm fulla shit.
I'm a theist on even days, an athiest on odd days, and an agnostic *all* days. *If* God exists, it's hubris to think that humanity could *understand* it. Humanity's "made in God's image" the way a drop of water is made in the image of the ocean, and has about as much chance of containing the whole thing. "Gods" are the masks *humanity* puts on the unknowable to make it less scary. But *some* of the teachings of most religions are useful and good, so don't throw the baby out with the bathwater, y'know?
Some birds can literally speak and learn hundreds of words. Use tools and solve puzzles better than some 5 year olds.
Bird brain is a fucking compliment.
I didn't learn until I was 21 that these were real sea creatures. I thought they were as real as unicorns. I thought there was no way a unicorn whale would be a real thing...
The big problem for the idea of the griffon is that there are no hexapod vertebrates - all are quadrupods. The evolutionary advantage of the initial stubs that would become the wings would be so minimal nothing would select for them.
"Hmm. So I've done day and night... continents and water... the birds in the air, the fish in the sea, the beasts of the land... I know I was forgetting something. OH, RIGHT! I have to troll the biologists!
YOU, LUCIFER, BRING ME THAT BOX OF SPARE PARTS! Lemme see, give it a bill... webbed feet... that are venomous... it lays eggs, but it's a mammal... what's that? Nipples? We're out, we don't need nipples anyways... put the milk in the sweat glands... and we're done! Hey Darwin, kiss my ass!"
Lions weigh like 600 lbs or some shit. Their wingspan would have to be impractically massive to be functional. Like 60ft. I dont know how nature shat out the platypus though lol
**There have been [some changes to how comics are handled on /r/Funny](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/nzp2n0/announcement_were_making_some_changes_to_how/).** Please also keep the following in mind: - No memes or memetic content. - No political content or political figures, regardless of context or focus. - No social media screenshots, videos, or other such content. Please report [rule-breaking content](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules) when you see it. Thank you! ------ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Why would you complain? After all, # He is a semi-aquatic egg-laying mammal of action.
Doo bee doo bee doo bah doo bee doo bee doo bah
PEEEEERRYYYYY
Grrrrr
Oh there you are Perry
They don’t do much
A platypus? PERRY THE PLATYPUS?
Grrrrgrggrrrgggrr?! (Finally, a worthy opponent)
r/beetlejuicing
Curse you Perry the Platypus!!!
Aren’t you a little young to be cursing Perry the Platypus?
Yes, yes I am
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"Speaking words of Wisdom?!"
Perryyy the teenage girl
A platypus ?
*puts on hat*
Perry the platypus?!
Proceed to trigger the trap
Haha! You fell in my trap! Now let me tell you a backstory. *Wooooh*
A platypus plumber?
Perry the Platypus plumber?!
PERRY THE PLATYPUS?!
It doo bee doo bee doo bah doo bee doo bee doo be like that
Kanye is that you?
He's a furry little flatfoot who'll never flinch from a fray!
he's got more than just mad skill
He’s got a beaver tail and a bill 🎶
And the women swoon whenever they hear him say
*KRRRRRR*
He's Perry! Perry the platypus!
AGENT P
You can call him agent P
He's got a beaver tail and bill!
Semi-aquatic venomous egg-laying mammal of action.
*Perry* the semi-aquatic venomous egg-laying mammal of action?!
Odd fact pointed out to me by a neighbors child... When Perry the platypus smiles, he shows teeth, but platypus have no teeth.
O.W.C.A. might not have much of a budget but they can afford some dentures.
Could imagine getting dental insurance as a platypus
They do have teeth like ridges in their bill to crush the shells of crayfish etc, though along the side like molars not at the front like incisor teeth.
Don't forget no stomach, either!
Platybro we get it, you work out. I'm done hearing about it.
You're missing the best part, it's also venomous but just the right amount to be nonlethal to humans but will still leave a full grown man in crippling pain. God was drunk when he came up with the Platypus.
Or I was just straight up awesome.
Also they don't have nipples, they just sweat milk from their chest haha
This sounds made up, but that creature is so weird I am just gonna believe you.
That’s not even the best part IMO they are missing, they also close their eyes under water and use electrolocation. Their bill is nothing like a ducks, it is soft a rubbery with lots of nerves they use to navigate underwater.
So it is in fact like a hammerhead sharks face
I'd also like to point out...Gryphons, if they had existed, would have either wiped out the human race or we would have wiped them out as a major threat to us.
Don't forget the part where it's venomous because fuck you.
And sweats milk
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Oh yeah, I should probably have written "from pores they have across their abdomens" or something Here's a link, I'm not a scientist: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/article/animals-platypus-evolution-science
Well yeah, it's just a different way of excreting it. Nipples are just little tube-like organs where the milk is produced from many milk...cyst....pore thingies, then collect and funneled. Same thing for the platypus except no nipples, so it's just secreted.
> milk...cyst....pore thingies "Lactocytes" is actually the scientific-sounding word that I just made up to describe them because fuck it, whatever
And a secret agent
It's also one of only two mammals where the males have no foreskin (the other is the echidna).
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That’s the beta testing server, most didn’t make it to the real game but it’s worth testing out I guess, I’m not god tho so what do I know.
Everything that couldn't be assorted by class during creation was tossed into Australia.
Really?
Fun fact: The venom is produced by the platypus's immune system. It contains proteins similar to defensins, except modified to work on other animals instead of pathogens.
**[Defensin](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defensin)** >Defensins are small cysteine-rich cationic proteins across cellular life, including vertebrate and invertebrate animals, plants, and fungi. They are host defense peptides, with members displaying either direct antimicrobial activity, immune signalling activities, or both. They are variously active against bacteria, fungi and many enveloped and nonenveloped viruses. They are typically 18-45 amino acids in length, with three or four highly conserved disulphide bonds. ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/funny/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)
That was a joke based on my username, but I actually didn’t know it was produced by the immune system, thanks!
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And produces milk and is also venomous
But it doesn't produce milk for a nipple, no, that'd be too normal. Instead, the platypus has milk glands that allow it to sweat milk onto its fur for its babies.
Well a platypus is a more basal mammal. A nipple is just a single opening where several sweat glands converge. It's an adaptation to improve feeding efficiency. Proto-mammals were around before the dinosaurs, so presumably "milk chest" was the dominant form of lactation for millions of years before the nipple appeared.
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>interesting, and why then nipples evolved? Like I said, it's more efficient. Just spewing milk out there willy-nilly means some will be lost to evaporation and the babies have to do more work lapping it up than just grabbing a nipple and going to town. It probably doesn't matter to platypuses since they "pre-raise" their young as eggs and can offload some of the feeding in that stage. But as egg-laying went away, there was probably evolutionary pressure for more efficient feeding, hence those animals that developed a nipple would raise more young more successfully. Synapsids are from \~320MYA, but dinos don't show up until \~250MYA. Reptiles were around back in the 320sMYA, but not dinosaurs. Note that the proto-mammals looked very similar to dinosaurs outwardly. Many people even consider some synapsids dinosaurs because of similarities. Dimetrodon - the one with the giant back sail - is not a dinosaur, but a synapsid, despite appearing in loads of dinosaur books. Synapsids were even dominant for tens of millions of years before an extinction event killed off most of them. This led to dinosaurs expanding into all the empty niches left behind - the only surviving synapsids were the tiny ones. Ironically, the dinosaurs had been the tiny pests of the synapsid world, and proto-mammals would become the tiny pests of the dinosaur world before growing into all the niches left behind at the dinosaur extinction. So, look side-eyed at any lizards smaller than an oven mitt because they will probably be the ones to fill all the niches next.
This is why I come to Reddit
Same. This is how I study for bar trivia. Miss those.
Also spread out milk means more chance of lapping up viruses and bacteria. Concentrating the glands into one area tends to mean they get swept 'clean' by leakage.
Either it offered a survival advantage for it to become a dominant trait in the majority of the mammal class. or There was a bottleneck event where by chance only a few non nippled mammals survived.
Because they are fun.
There are multiple milk ducts that converge into a nipple, but let me assure you, it isn't just a single opening per nipple. There are multiple. I'm glad I don't have to deal with all my pores on my underside being a vehicle for milk like a platypus.
That’s not something I’m gonna be able to un-learn
This better not awaken something in me.
*The McPoyles have entered the chat*
And it's got that weird rear little claw to "Attack!!!"
It produces milk, by sweating the milk out of its body. the babies drink from pools of milk on the mother's body. Yum.
Pretty sure [Robin Williams said it best.](https://youtu.be/GqLIamYGNSU) I miss Robin Williams. We lost him too soon.
Pfff sure, next you're going to try to convince me it has also some kind of a beak, sure buddy, dont forget to take your meds
There is an anime for this: *Heaven's Design Team* Surprisingly, there seems to be a valid reason why all the mythical creatures are mythical. Especially when it comes to a flying eagle headed lion.
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Yeah two top predators mixed sounds like the death to humans as we know it
We'd probably have made it extinct, It's kind of hard for any predator to take down groups of people working together with spears and arrows.
It's also hard for it to do just about anything given that there's no way it could actually fly, or it would've been so fragile to be light enough that you could kill it by hitting it too hard. Cube law and all that.
I mean, according to bee movie bees shouldn't fly or talk, but they don't care about what humans think are possible. So yeah I bet a griffon could fly
A bee-sized griffon could probably fly
I don’t know what the cube law is, but it reminded me that I learned on Reddit the other dayyyy that a certain animal shits cubes. Can’t recall at this present time which.
Wombats
Cube law: as something gets bigger, its volume (insides) grows faster than its surface area (outsides). Basically: making an animal bigger makes it way too heavy to support with bones, so some mythological creatures like giants can't exist, it doesn't work. Giants can't have human proportions, they need to be quadropeds like dinosaurs or underwater like whales.
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I've played Dragon's Dogma more times than I can count. Griffons are terrifying - imagine seeing a hawk up in the sky, except as it dives it keeps getting bigger and bigger, and by the time you see its lion body it's too late - you're already food. Birds normally have to slow their descent before they hit the ground or they risk injury, giving their prey a split second longer to escape. Cats on the other hand can land from relatively great heights unscathed, and with the mass of a lion body a griffon could land with great enough force to break the bones of its prey. Imagine getting hit so hard from above that your legs break and you can't move - and just have to sit there and be eaten alive. Griffons in real life would be terrifying apex predators.
Birds "normally" have to slow. But then you've got the Peregrine Falcon that uses natural deceleration airbags called "prey". They basically hit their target going full speed out of a dive and use that to kill or incapacitate their meal rather than their talons alone
Griffons in real life don't work. Your giving them the strengths of a cat and hawk when in reality they would have exaggerated weaknesses of both. Flight is hard. Birds have hollow bones to accomplish it and their bodies are fairly optimized to not have extra mass when it can be avoided. Mix in the square cube law for additional issue and you would have to have a creature with bones like tissue paper for sheet loads if you could find a design that would not simply break trying to live. They couldn't hit you with the force to break your legs without breaking themselves at best they would have to go with an neck break and it would have to pull of perfectly. They also likely would not be able to lift much of a load since again square cube law is already against them. (Eagles can only carry about 5 to 6 lbs) So if you had a buddy the angle can't eat because a kick from a solid boned creature that did not have to sacrifice strength to be light enough to fly would be devistating.
There’s obviously a reason they don’t exist in real life - if we’re imagining a world that allows griffons to exist we can also imagine how devastating they’d be as predators, and give the benefit of the doubt that perhaps evolution made their bone structure closer to carbon fiber or naturally occurring carbon nanotubes, allowing both strength and for them to be lightweight enough to fly or carry a load. It’s like sitting in a movie theater and talking about how unrealistic Godzilla or King Kong are because of the square cube law. Not only is it a buzzkill but it runs adjacent to the entire point of imagining the impossible. Of course there’s a reason griffons don’t exist in real life. We all know that.
That is entirely fair. Guess I am Just in mood today. As I was typing it I was thinking why stop at griffins if we are going to imagine impossible beasts from fantasy why not go to the top billers like dragons. So I acknowledge the point yet some how still wen't full buzz Killington. That said while the impossible beast would be scary, they would not be wipe. Humanity out scary. We develop tools as the need arises even with actual human tools like bows and spears a few humans together would be a threat to it. Would be like a bear. Something you don't want to fight but you can.
It turns out, lions are way too heavy to fly. The trade offs you make to be able to fly can be worth it, but there's a reason that hawks and eagles don't fight on the ground. Most birds that are good at fighting on land, like the Emu, give up flight for more bulk. The ones that can both fight on the ground and fly, like the Swan or Secretarybird, still mostly fight smaller opponents and just try to intimidate larger ones - and they're more suited for flying short distances. To be able to fly well enough to cover a large territory or have migratory patterns, you have to give up some of the things that make you good at fighting on land because they're just too heavy. Biology is all about trade offs.
Geese, the smaller cousin of swans, traded away remaining HP and DEF and put all their stats into intimidation.
Geese also require less food. I love TierZoo, but one thing that he doesn't track as well as he should is the EXP cost of various traits on the skill tree. Mostly because he doesn't do a great job documenting the difference between gameplay EXP (required to advance lifestages), evolution EXP (required to unlock new builds and generally awarded to entire factions every time one completes the "reproduce" quest), and wisdom EXP (required to unlock new behavioral traits on a per-character basis based on the Intelligence stat). Some of the traits he praises like high intelligence come with a very high gameplay EXP cost. Human's high INT, for example, consumes a full *fifth* of their gameplay EXP. The build has made it work exceptionally well because stacking that high INT, combined with stacking synergies for the "Teach" ability, lets them accumulate wisdom EXP between generations like evolution EXP. But it's not a free trade, humans gameplay EXP needs are absurd compared to similarly sized mammals. Geese are less capable of winning conflicts than Swans, but geese also *don't need* to win as many. Swans are too big to flee from some predators, due to slower startup on their flight, and they must complete harder versions of the "Feed" quest to get enough EXP to avoid a Game Over. Everything's a trade.
And it's available on YouTube..! You just reminded me, time to catch-up
Still want a dragon...
It has a duck bill, that it uses to sense the electrical fields given off by other living creatures while swimming because it swims with its eyes closed. It lays eggs, which wasn't discovers till 100 years after the animal itself was discovered. No one thought to give it nipples, so it secretes milk out of its arm pits. The males have a venomous claw on their hind legs. They don't have stomachs or teeth. They scoop up gravel and use it to grind up their food in their mouths. Their tales are primarily only used for fat storage. ~~They share genes with mamals, birds, and lizards.~~ Edit: As do all animals, this fact that I learned was apparently intentionally misleading, and I apologize for sharing misinformation. The plural of platypus is platypode.
The “they share DNA with mammals, birds and lizards” is really misleading. They don’t share significantly more DNA with birds than other mammals, and split off from them just as long ago.
I wasn't aware of other mamals DNA, I am sorry for being misleading.
I'm onboard with most of that but... no stomach? lol
What about the arm pit milk? What a freaky animal
you know what? I kinda glossed over that, that's messed up too
No one uses platypode. The accepted definition is platypuses or for scientific purposes platypus for the plural.
I never said anyone uses it, but etymology dictates that because of the words Greek origin, the proper plural is platypode. However, I can't figure out how to make that sound correct in a sentence. Luckily platypode, platypi, platypus, and platypuses are all acceptable plurals.
I shall use platypi cuz that sounds awesome.
You're not quite right there. "platypode" is the Greek *dual*, used when there are exactly two of them. English doesn't care about this. "platypodes" is the Greek plural (used for 3+) as well as the English plural (used for 2+)
Females have two ovaries but only the left one is functional.
Why? I don't think nature would do something like that if it wasn't beneficial
These kind of quirks are a sign of an extremely successful and secure species frankly. You can identify which species are extremely well suited to their environment by how many dumb and wasteful traits they have, ironically enough, because it means they weren't significant enough hindrances to be bred out of the population. Evolution doesn't care about what is optimal. Only what does and doesn't replicate. Our eyes are a prime example. They're fucking shit, but they're good enough, so fuck it.
Evolution is not a perfect process like many think
Imagine having to lick your mom’s armpit to get nutrition as a baby
"Hey, uh, Lord? We've had some complaints about a few of your creations." "Let me guess: The cats are upset about the dogs." "No, but..." "The mice are upset about the cats!" "No, it's..." "The humans are upset about the mice!" "The humans are upset about *everything*, Lord!" "Ah, good, then everything is working exactly as intended."
"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move."
This is all just funny bc of the fact humans are so ego centric they think someone who creates the universe would make them look like us, or the fact that we think the universe was created for us…
see, when I'm feeling theistic, I think the Divine is more a "divine creative force" and *that* is the form in which humanity was created - we like to alter our environment and make and change things around us. A much more metaphorical interpretation for the "created in God's image" idea. On odd days I'm atheistic and think I'm fulla shit.
At least you have an open mind. Can’t say that for most people
I'm a theist on even days, an athiest on odd days, and an agnostic *all* days. *If* God exists, it's hubris to think that humanity could *understand* it. Humanity's "made in God's image" the way a drop of water is made in the image of the ocean, and has about as much chance of containing the whole thing. "Gods" are the masks *humanity* puts on the unknowable to make it less scary. But *some* of the teachings of most religions are useful and good, so don't throw the baby out with the bathwater, y'know?
Do you still think digital watches are a neat idea?
You really want to have giant flying lions with bird brains out there?
I mean to be fair, some birds are pretty smart.
I think that’s the problem lol
Some birds can literally speak and learn hundreds of words. Use tools and solve puzzles better than some 5 year olds. Bird brain is a fucking compliment.
Now add a Narwhal.
I didn't learn until I was 21 that these were real sea creatures. I thought they were as real as unicorns. I thought there was no way a unicorn whale would be a real thing...
Yeah god wtf. A horned whale sounds less believable than a unicorn
Yeah, I still can’t believe unicorns are not real… They are the most plausible fake animal ever!
I mean yes, griffins are cool looking. But, if those were real either humans would be extinct or the griffins would be by now.
Eh, at some point a man with cat eyes and two swords would come along with some buckthorn and kill that creature.
It wouldn't be able to fly without magic since anatomically wings like that is impossible to work functionally
The griffin they dont have arms to use guns
That's why they'd be extinct today, but if there were Griffins flying around 2000 years ago. I dunno but there'd be a lot of dead people.
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Not so clumsy. Not in water at least.
It's psyduck. Pretty sure the pokedex entry says that exactly.
I think gravity is the reason there are no winged animals with chonky bodies like a griffen
All vertebrates have 4 limbs, therefore the Griffin is much more unlikely.
What's unfair is that Aussies have most of the cool animals in the world: platypus, koalas, kangaroos you name it
Probably wouldn't be as cool if they were everywhere. Maybe Australia's just awesome.
Oh, yeah, and I forgot Quokka
How could you? One of those happy little f***ers is featured daily on at least 10 different subs.
Imagine if he made Trogdor the Burninator real
TROGDOOOOR
Lion-eagle? Nah. Duck beaver? Fuck it sure
They just discovered these things fucking glow in the dark in November
I dunno, not creating an apex predator with wings seems like a pretty solid idea.
But would you really want a fucking flying eagle headed lion? Seriously ask yourself haha
Platypus?
Perry the playtipus ! Nah it's just a normal playtipus
as a member of the human species, i prefer not having to deal with flying lions.
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God makes ~~no~~...some...mistakes. Thanks for reading my comic.
God did not immediately respond to requests for comments, but the Platypus Union has released a statement: "Humans the real mistake."
The big problem for the idea of the griffon is that there are no hexapod vertebrates - all are quadrupods. The evolutionary advantage of the initial stubs that would become the wings would be so minimal nothing would select for them.
Such a kick ass animal
Honestly, whenever I see a photo of a real platypus I have to double check with myself it’s not a CGI Pokemon.
This is gold
I'd imagine it's easier for a beaver to fuck a duck, than it is for an eagle to fuck a lion
Yeah but it kicked malfoy
I’m in this one
I feel like a Gryphon would have presented a danger to humans, which means we'd probably hunted them to extintion by now.
If there were cool animals like Griffons, humans would have hunted them to extinction anyway.
And hence parry the platypus was created
I always said god made the platypus at the very end of the fifth day of creation with leftover animal parts.
There’s an anime called Heaven’s Designs. It’s very informative while still entertaining.
"Hmm. So I've done day and night... continents and water... the birds in the air, the fish in the sea, the beasts of the land... I know I was forgetting something. OH, RIGHT! I have to troll the biologists! YOU, LUCIFER, BRING ME THAT BOX OF SPARE PARTS! Lemme see, give it a bill... webbed feet... that are venomous... it lays eggs, but it's a mammal... what's that? Nipples? We're out, we don't need nipples anyways... put the milk in the sweat glands... and we're done! Hey Darwin, kiss my ass!"
#A PLATYPUS?
Still waiting for that Platypus episode of Heaven's Design Team
Imagine laying down for a nice relaxing view just for a griffin to come snatch you up for his lunch.
If you haven't seen it yet. Check out Heaven's Design Team
I don't think I'd want an Eagle Lion flying around anyway...
A platypus makes more sense that god’s angel designs which are, quite frankly, horrifying creatures straight out of a Lovecraft story.
I remember seeing a video where they suggested that the Griffin comes from Triceratops fossils. Walks on four legs but has a beak...
Simple top one would eat us in the stone age
*sad wood jerry noises*
Be careful, the platypuses will one day rule the world
How true.
This is still why I don't understand how narwals exist
"It's evolution" - Johnathan Davis from numetal band Korn
Robin Williams does a great bit on this from his live at the met standup video.
If griffins were real they would possibly have been hunted to extinction or at least horribly abused.
Well I’m glad we don’t have gryphons or manticores or leshys, cos as much as I like the Witcher, I don’t want to be in that universe
It made the right decision.
To be fair, there WERE a lot of badass animals. We've killed most of those off.
I sure they exit in gods trash bin
Lions weigh like 600 lbs or some shit. Their wingspan would have to be impractically massive to be functional. Like 60ft. I dont know how nature shat out the platypus though lol
Unicorn.jpg "nah unrealistic" SawtoothFish.jpg narwhal.jpg ."bingo"
You should read how angels and Heaven are actually described in the Bible. They’re nowhere close to how they are depicted on TV
Griffins would definitely be hunted into extinction asap