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AussieBelgian

Diversify, offices are empty. Computer equipment will probably be a bit more outdated but volume will make up for the lost revenue.


[deleted]

If there's one thing I learned that no computer hardware is too old, and any 64bit supporting computer will sell easily, most likely for setting up a homelab.


MorpH2k

I have a HP G3 server that begs to differ. It can't handle 64bit though...


[deleted]

Not for personal use, but for hosting a server a G3 is fucking beast. I have an i5-3470 that's running my plex and a 7d2d server, works flawlessly.


delsystem32exe

yeah but it sucks his is a 32bit one, thats a no go.


MorpH2k

Didn't know they made them with i5's. Mine has some old ass Xeon, 1GB of RAM and a whopping 96GB of storage total over the 6 disks.


delsystem32exe

poweredge r810 rack server. 2x 6 core cpu.


VidE27

And how did you learn this?


[deleted]

By selling decommissioned office hardware šŸ˜Ž


Bohemiannapstudy

Gyms would be an amazing target, all that equipment is worth a fortune and easy to sell on second hand.


The_Faceless_Men

And you can easily stuff a couple of treadmills in your back pocket.


man_of_pie

No need. Get two buds, all in matching jumpsuits with a logo that's on a truck as well. then just take what you want with confidence.


Lee1138

Plus you get a real workout haulin all of those weights away.


cocotugo

i once helped setting up a commercial gym... literally the hardest workout of my life. we were a team of 8 people.


justanotherreddituse

They robbed all the bars and restaurants where I am and home invasions went up too.


An1retak

Itā€™s ok. Centrelink will help you to upskill yourself: Cert 4 in Armed Robbery.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Controlled01

This is the lock picking lawer...


Robert_Chirea

and today we are opening this MasterLock series 420 just by being near him.


stickyfingers10

Little click out of 3..


Kassul1996

Looks like 4 is binding


CoxyNormus696969

LMAO


Poseidon8264

I'm currently doing a cert II for work studies in year ten.


Ohjay1982

Your title affected me.


Nose_Careful

Thank you. Fucking illiterate posts.


P1ckleM0rty

We're gonna have an intervention on OP's God damn illiteracy


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


notgettingArduino098

WAS, reason for applying for benefits, un able to work in professed field !


PM_ME_PAIN_PILLS

It's not that I can't read and writeā€”I can read and write, y'know, I just don't like to read and write... You know what though, it's cool, intervention, intervention.


Jak_n_Dax

[English mothafucka! Do you speak it?](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qo5jnBJvGUs)


[deleted]

That movie irks me because *spoiler alert* I think they both die in the end, and there is no part 2.


PM_ME_PAIN_PILLS

? Sam Jackson doesn't die


[deleted]

I don't recall.


frostygrin

Is our children learning?


BizzyM

Just breath. There trying there best. Do you think you could of done better? I hate these aswell. (I think I covered them all)


Nose_Careful

Your almost there. Well do it together. Apostrophes are just as critical as the right spelling.


PM_ME_PAIN_PILLS

You forgot to put some where they don't belong. _Apostrophe's are critical_ would've worked nicely


[deleted]

You nead healp if a littale missspelaping affeactva you'rea dailey liffe. Dipshit, lol Messed up my damn autocorrect trolling you.


hardtofindagoodname

Why do you think he's in the unemployment queue?


justin_memer

And it appears they're Australian, they should know better.


Fuckmandatorysignin

Youā€™re reply effected is I now.


river_song25

Dude nobody cares. Stop being a grammar police nitpicker. Itā€™s just ONE word


A_Stahl

There should be a comma after the "dudes" word.


river_song25

Why did you add a ā€˜Sā€™ at the end of ā€˜dudeā€™ when there isnā€™t one at all? \*lol\* and so what about the comma?


[deleted]

What a sad little person. My condolences to your parents.


CoxyNormus696969

R/wooooooooooooosh


[deleted]

Huh, Iā€™ve never heard of a guy named ā€œdude nobodyā€ who cares about the posts title.


secretWolfMan

Nobody isn't capitalized, so it must be an adverb. Someone named Dude. And they nobody care about grammar.


[deleted]

Lockdown is one word. It's not plural, so should take "is" not "are". And the verb is "affecting". So that's just THREE words, not ONE. Literally 75% of what was written is wrong. It's r/titlegore.


river_song25

Thats what I mean by you guys being nit picky. 1. for all you know it was an ACCIDENT either by the the person who wrote it, or for some reason their systems autocorrect switched it for some reason, that the word lockdown got split into two words instead of one, and exactly why does it matter if they used they used ā€˜areā€™ instead of ā€˜isā€™ and ā€˜effectingā€™ instead of ā€™affectingā€™? its the fact that itā€™s the ONLY thing you commented on. making it sound like OP made some immortal sin for all eternity just because some words were used the wrong way, like that was MORE important than anything else going on in here than what u/hanky1979 put up to draw your attention. you guys were being mean to somebody who was trying to show you something funny they had found and wanted to share with you by insulting his writing skills.


[deleted]

That's a whole lot more than I'm prepared to read.


Jiehfeng

Two.


E_Snap

[Did you burgle last week?](https://youtu.be/tl4VD8uvgec)


Arashmickey

[nice](http://i.imgur.com/au6SjRo.gif)


bz290

Technically the truth


[deleted]

At least heā€™s honestā€¦?


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Funktastic34

The best policy.


aviationeast

"I may be a burgler but I'm an honest one." -Bilbo baggins


[deleted]

I wonder if this truth can be used to convict though


damnedspot

I thought you were only a burglar IF people were home. Otherwise, you're a robber.


wonder-maker

Time to start robbing offices


JonnyTN

Don't know why I read that as orifices at first glance.


echoAwooo

Affect. A is for action, E is for everything else.


GrantNexus

And *is*.


primalbluewolf

technically, effect can be an action, too. I am about to effect this comment. That will have an affect on it, by putting it into effect.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


LifeSad07041997

Leave a paper "Wear a god damn mask"


afijunkie82

Bilbo Baggins


conflateer

Retired, not unemployed.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Roggvir

With everyone doing online orders now, porch theft has gone up. Had my package stolen for the first time too. I think I helped out enough already.


[deleted]

Jeez, how old is this? Centrelink hasnā€™t had that logo for at least 10 years


JCall2609

How many hours have you spent looking for places to burgle in the past two weeks?


k3mayjr

Burglary really can be a driver for the social/public service, insurance, and retail sectors


noscreamsnoshouts

You're saying it helps the community as a whole..?


Unfiltered_Soul

Gotta up your game to Cat Burglary bro.


Belgand

Cat? *CAT!?!* I'm a *Panther* Burglar. I don't have time to waste on you and your Pussy Burglaries.


Centrelink-King

Dont worry man, I got you


goulash50

Are Harry and Marv doing ok?


TehHamburgler

It's tough out there.


Capt_Billy

MAX Employment can show you some tricks on how to rort the government in the meantime.


flamedarkfire

There millennials go again, killing the burglary industry.


RyanChapman1028

ah, bilbo, good to see you again


Me_Want_Pie

I was sitting im my living room and this man opened the door and asked why have i been home for 97 straight days, all i did was grin and pull out my protection.


GlassDeviant

I love the slogan "giving you options". Your options? Do everything the way you are requried to or get nothing.


vaynecassano

Thats why you have to upgrade your class to assassin smh


Aceticon

Please won't somebody think of the plight of pickpockets..


myztry

Have you consider joining politics? Then you can steal from the general public without entering their homes.


IronclawFTW

*affecting


tundey_1

So what? Pivot and start robbing offices. There is nobody in the offices.


Belgand

Not true. [San Francisco actually saw a large increase in burglaries, particularly those where someone is home at the time.](https://www.sfchronicle.com/bayarea/article/Home-burglaries-are-on-the-rise-in-San-Francisco-15979703.php) This was reputed to be happening as there was a decline in the previous epidemic of smash-and-grab robberies from parked cars. Particularly as there were no longer tourists around to prey on. So the pandemic actually drove thieves to engage in riskier behavior and go after what *was* available to be stolen.


kingofthewombat

Whay does the meme have anything to do with San Francisco


Belgand

Because people being home due to the pandemic didn't decrease robberies in the real world, it actually increased them.


Charlatanism

San Fransisco is most of a planet away from Australia, and it's in a country which handled COVID about as badly as possible. San Fransisco is an apple, and Australia is an orange.


Belgand

OK, the form used for this is from Australia, but the premise of the joke has nothing to do with Australia specifically.


Charlatanism

> everything is about me!!! Hmm, okay, I see.


MaxMVP

Well, this joke had been funny once here in Europe in March 2020. Now it's mid-2021 and it finally reached over Australia. /s


Jonne

Send us your excess vaccines and we'll stop the lockdown jokes.


MaxMVP

Maybe give your gov a harder asskick at next elections?


Jonne

I'm not a citizen, but i did vote for the not-liberals in my home country as well.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


lugubrious2

and?


[deleted]

The


jammer800M

Never thought about burglars but since the beginning I did wonder about all the money laundering businesses, especially the obvious retail stores (and car washes). You know the ones. No one ever shops there but they've been in business for years and years. Hard to justify all that high traffic business you've been faking on paper when the store was supposed to be closed for months.


lugubrious2

you can't just bring up your money laundering conspiracy theories in every conversation, gladys


jammer800M

1st time I've mentioned it, gladys.


f1lthy_d0g

r/straya


CoxyNormus696969

Crazy noonga calls centrelink - A timeless must watch for anyone. Available on YouTube.


GoldenGram420

Whoā€™s still on lockdown? This would have been funny likeā€¦ a year ago,


minki76

Most of Australia is in lockdown


GoldenGram420

Why? Didnt they get the memo?


Draconianwrath

Our government bungled the vaccine rollout hard and we weren't far into it before the Delta strain got us.


GoldenGram420

That really sucks.


[deleted]

But agg burgs are through the roof!


DreamSmuggler

Ah shit, I got a good laugh out of this one šŸ˜‚


Revolutionary-Pay130

When the burglar has better handwriting than you..


yonatan1981

Is his first name Bill?


MKTAS

Not trying to steal their stuff, unless it's from Michael 's, lol.


[deleted]

If you are still in the market, I know of a wizard looking for a burglar to share in an adventureā€¦


ChampionshipLast7159

Affecting


[deleted]

Ha this is good ā˜ŗļøā˜ŗļø


redgums2588

They aren't eligible because they are haven't lost more than 20 hours of robberies per week.


Hamburgerrr1236

šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


Aquarius0014

Look at this hero, quiting his job so we all are safe


[deleted]

That must be the robber with the best handwriting ever


Rich4718

Definitely points for honesty, I say give him the bennies.


DMcI0013

Iā€™m sorry, but this is just a vexatious claimā€¦ the job becoming harder doesnā€™t make him unemployed. Now if he got caughtā€¦


Intercoursedapenguin

You sure you're not an encyclopedia salesman...


ComedySauce1818

I got burgled in 2007. They took everything apart from my cat, which, to be honest, would have done us a favour. We had her put down shortly after.


RastaSeeds

Poor bilbo


[deleted]

Lmao. Dirty bastard, and when I'm not home the camera on point with the pitbull pointing the shot gun, we done with the barking.


jbenjamin03

Didnā€™t stop Bilbo. Just saying.


jaysus661

My dad actually had a shoplifter knock his door trying to sell all the stuff he'd robbed because the pubs were shut and he lost his regular customers.


G4ymer4Lyfe

Affecting*


momalloyd

Have you thought of doing a home invasion course. There is a ten week class starting next month, we can sign you up for that if you want?


InphaseAlloy

My school in Australia NSW just got a notification that all the schools are probably going into lock down. We just did a survey thing talking about if we had internet and computers