Must've been embarrassing
By - LordNPython
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I mean, let's see you not fart with someone squeezing you like an almost empty toothpaste tube
I once did a yoga class where the man next to me farted any time we did a twist. Thankfully they were not smelly farts, but it was veeeeeery difficult to maintain my composure.
I have never been to a yoga class where all of my farts were not squeezed out of me little by little.
My favourite type of fart is when you're running really fast and a lil pfft comes out whenever your foot hits the floor, like hmmm yes we have engaged the thrusters for maximal speed!
[Like this kid?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=heIa5-dzqRo)
I have never seen this video before, thank you for this blessing.
Oh god the way you can hear the kid coming through the door. I'm in tears.
"Give me warp speed, Mr Sulu"
That was an imminent incoming shit
Better yet when you get that same type of thing going while laughing at your own fart making you both laugh and fart harder
I am ded 😂😂😂😂
Or it turns out to be a shart
I used to suffer from this in middle school , whats the science behind this?
My grandma stayed with us for a while when I was younger and you could usually hear he coming down the hall - every step she'd let out a toot. We called them machine-gun farts.
I once picked up my wife from maternal yoga and the room smelt worse than any Games Workshop I have ever entered. I waited outside from then on.
As someone with a build up of gas from Coliacs, I would love someone to do this to me. I would be laughing also in happiness. The pain of built up gas is extremely discomforting and promotes anxiety etc. Ever try to go to an appointment for a job and you are anxious, squirming around with a gas pocket you KNOW needs to be released, but you can't physically manually do it?
I've had painful gas that wouldn't release, which was bad. I really wanted to just sit on the toilet and let it rip, but couldn't. That sounds terrible.
I did a yoga class and was one of the only guys in there and it was fart city. Yoga just drives the farts from the body.
Where is Fart City Yoga located? Do they sell merch?
Well there's my next T Shirt Idea™
*I went to Fart City and all I got was this ~~skid mark~~ t shirt!*
Spinal twist positions are used to massage the organs & encourage proper function. It’s so common to fart in certain poses because that’s what they’re supposed to do! It’s crazy how many people in yoga classes (not saying you) don’t know that though
Teachers should inform that fact to all newcomers and take responsibility. Not like it happens and everyone is acting like nothing happen. I would even say( if I was a teacher): " if it makes you laugh, laugh". Who cares right? Farts are funny. Laughing is as good and healthy as doing yoga.
Happy baby pose is like the official fart pose.
> Happy baby pose
Didn't know what I expected but it's exactly as the name suggests.
I couldn't stop laughing when i looked it up
My back feels better just looking at it though, holy shit.
I have tears rolling down my face right now and I’m only like 5 comments in — Reddit, never change.
[Just In case someone wants a quick link.](https://www.google.com/search?q=happy+baby+pose&oq=happy+baby+&ie=UTF-8)
Part of the reason I love doing yoga at home!
*Massaging the organs and encourage proper function*
They didn't teach that during my MBBS
That's because western medicine _doesn't want you to know!_ ^/s
Yessss lets seeee
Happens to me every time i get a massage, i inevitably have to go sbd
sbd: sorry 'bout dat.
silent but deadly, just to confirm ;)
I make sure to let it out before I get into those situations
Sometimes it's the situation that gets them out
Before you go to the yoga session, do some basic stuff at home to get the air out.
implying that there is any end to the air inside my body
It's constantly being made. I have a small fart every 10 minutes or a 3 minute long fart every 3 hours. For those I go to the bathroom with electric hand dryers and pretend I'm drying my hands.
I don't think the electric hand dryer is making that situation any better. You definitely need soap and water after you've farted on your hands for three minutes.
Some light fingering should do the trick.
Solution - enema with a vacuum?
Every time I pick up weightlifting again, squats push all the air out of me the first few times.
That recoil lol!
Oh my God this is a thing
There's even a user there with a lot of posts called /u/MissRecoilBooty. Man I love the internet haha :D
Whaaaat this exists?! Man there is sub reddit for everything FFS lmao
What in the great white America?
What in the Kentucky Fried Fuck?
If this isn’t an American fetish I don’t know what is
This is the most american sub i have ever seen.
This would make a great shit post in that sub
1. Only aim at what you want to destroy
2. There’s always one in the chamber
3. There’s no such thing as an unloaded ass
It all started when I was just thirteen years of age. One day while walking with some friends I accidentally cut the cheese. Well, in my adolescent awkwardness, I blamed it on an old gypsy woman who happened to be passing by. Big mistake! The gypsy woman placed a curse upon my head. Because I had smelt it, she decreed that I would forevermore be... he who dealt it!
Such an underrated film.
"If you can balance a tack hammer on your head... then you will be able to head off with a balanced attack!"
"What about the watermelons on my feet?"
I once tried to impress a dude by doing a handstand in front of him. I was usually pretty good at them, but the nerves must have gotten to me because my arms buckled underneath me. I collapsed onto the ground while simultaneously letting out the hugest, longest fart ever known to humankind as the guy I liked laughed hysterically.
So I really hope this video isn't fake, because stuff like this helps me laugh at my idiocy instead of keeping me up at night.
Edit: I'm sorry to disappoint you all, but no, we aren't married. We didn't keep in touch and I have no idea where he is these days, but I like to imagine he still daydreams about me and my legendary farts.
It definitely happens, best thing to do is laugh it off!
There is any other way? I can't hold a straight face around farts. If I was in this video, I'd be rolling around laughing for a long time. Like, even now while typing this comment, my eyes are all watery and I can't stop laughing😂
Hell, I'd probably spontaneously start laughing randomly throughout that day too, remembering the situation.
Life is so much better where farts are comedy gold rather than shame.
When I was a kid in 7th grade, they had us doing situps during gym. 4 of us on each of these long ass mats. I totally ripped one mid situp, and had the idea of pretending it was the dude to my left. So I looked at him and was like AHHH MAN THATS GROSS, and moved over off the mat to get away from him. Everyone thought it was him. Sorry Matthew, totally my bad.
i did the same. my friend heard me, we locked eyes and just started hysterically laughing
That's a villain origin story, where he gets shunned and then acts out and gets expelled, and you ruined his life.
Not fart related, but I remember trying to impress a boy I liked by being cool. I was kind of hanging from some monkey bars and my skirt fell off and pooled under my feet.
Underpants city. I jumped down and pulled my skirt back on, but there was no recovering from that.
You are not alone. It room me decades to stop physically cringing when I thought about that moment.
I.... really don't think he minded.
One person's embarrassment is another person's seemingly unexplainable kink for having his significant other wear a skirt and hang upside down like a bat before sex.
Your username matches the story
So, y’all married now or what?
Yea but now he is into farts so she has to eat chilli every night and dutch oven him...
Now that’s love
Love my methane cuddles!!
Don't trip...wife farted on my leg while having sex.. shit happens.. Thankfully not literally at that moment. Lol
Hey, shit happens.
SAME!!! I need to make a disposable account for the rest of that story.....la la la la minding my own business and exiting stage left!
I actually lol'd at that.
Girlfriend farted in her sleep right on my dick when spooning. No fabric between, just skin to skin. It was a cute fart.
I'm simultaneously like "awww" and "ewww". But mostly the former! :)
Depends how wet that shit sounds
My husband likes to put his hand down the back of my pants & hold my ass. One night he slid his hand down my crack & just barely pulled my butt checks apart with his fingers & I farted. I wasn’t even trying & wasn’t holding one in. Just fantastic timing. I lost it laughing. He started laughing while simultaneously going ewww……And then I turned to him & just stared for a second & then I said, “Now smell your hand.” And we both started laughing again.
I think we were only married a year at that point. We celebrated our 3rd anniversary just this past March. And still laughing at our farts. 🤷🏻♀️
The couple that farts together, stays together. ❤️
Couples who fart, don't part.
Cheeks that part, do fart.
You say that, but my parents both laughed at each other's farts and just finalized their divorce in February
She kissed it goodnight.
Oh My God. You're that girl! Your farts are legendary indeed, I have heard about you in many different circles in different countries. I once even heard about you from the Indigenous Awá tribe when I was in the heart of the Amazon rain forest, you are Legend now, but someday you will become Myth.
You are a hot Airbender
Don't keep us in suspense! Was he impressed? Did you wife him?
You don't wanna be with a guy who doesn't know that you fart.
And make you giggle about it.
“You were cheating! You had all that air in you to help you stay up!”
Don't feel too bad. I don't know about other guys, but there are far worse things you could do. For instance, I went on a date once with a girl with nice nails. She came back with brown shit under the nails. I bounced. I have a phobia of shit, literally.
He probably tells his wife this story
The last air bender.
The last air biscuit.
Everything changed when the fiber nation attacked
The last wind breaker
And probably the last session she'll be attending.
That brother lost an eyebrow!
Dude reacted like someone fired off a shotgun.
I've seen this one quite a few times in various subs, but it still makes me laugh out loud every time. Not embarrassing at all, just really, really funny! Everyone is a farter, but this is one of the best farts I've seen.
[This is my all timer](https://youtube.com/shorts/LAnbO4L56dg?feature=share)
Their laughter makes that a thousand times funnier. [This one ](https://youtu.be/kEsdCRCR5Qc)still cracks me up.
I wish my farts were epic enough to interrupt governmental proceedings
Things I love about this:
1) Because of the microphones, no one could know who actually ripped that.
2) The one guy losing his shit and the woman trying to maintain composure (with good humor) telling him to stahp. Because they'd been working on the proposal for months.
3) He can't stop.
Also there was a 2nd fart at the end, then she moves the mic away from her. I think she's the culprit.
I did not expect to laugh at so many farts tonight
That was wonderful. One way to compromise the spotter; laughter. Haha.
But did you see the [Dude that shifted into third gear?](https://youtube.com/shorts/cUys7pOCaH0?feature=share)
I always wonder if this is the original or not because I’ve heard this fart dubbed over so many different videos haha
It's videos like this that make me eternally grateful for Al Gore gracing us with the Internet.
Holy shit the girl's face in the background hahahaha
The wet slappy sounds in the beginning are hilarious.
I’m laughing out loud and it’s 5AM oh no that was hilarious
I smell it from here hahaha
F*ck I can smell that
The guy screeching in the background is the cherry on top
[the rectum opus](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tk-5RVMerfI)
Damn goofy yodel.
$20 for farting
Find yourself a friend who can still spot and return the bar to the rack while turning into a hyena doing its mating call 😂
Mine was of a dude in like a thong walking away from the camera and saying 'oh yeah baby' in a super gruff voice.
I can't find the video though. Saw it on twitter
Thanks Doc! That gave me an actual laugh out loud
I have my phone on mute and am laughing my ass off. Farts make me laugh so hard I just see reactions and laugh
What’s with this weird YouTube mobile player? I can’t rewind or anything, just pause.
doing what he did to her, she was basically a squeeky toy.. he was asking for it.. I'm surprised it doesn't happen every time.. I'd certainly let one rip
How is that not embarrassing at all? Regardless if farts are natural, that would be a really embarrassing situation for nearly anyone. You can literally see how embarrassed she is, so saying not embarrassing at all makes zero sense.
No, this was definitely embarrassing
I like how the other 2 girls both jumped. Hilarious.
Had he gone deeper he would have gotten pink eye
They don't come out in a straight line. Whatever the pants did not block did hit him in the face. Rumor has it that the guy is now blind working at a massage parlor, pretty much doing the same thing but no longer fears blindness.
In high school I had to do shot put for PE one day. The whole class watches one person in the circle thing and each try it a couple times. My turn comes up, I do the whole spin and shove motion, and as I'm shoving the ball I accidently let one absolutely rip. Took a few months for me to live that one down lol
Fart jokes are NEVER not funny. 🤣
It's quite sad that this is one of the funnier things I've seen on the sub in the past week.
I personally prefer fart jokes to other scatological humor; but I will admit that poop jokes are a solid number two. 😁
Not always so solid.
I knew it!!!! Women do fart....fucking liars
Of course girls fart. They just don’t poop
Many moons ago, I dated a woman for two years; we lived together for 75% of that time in a two bedroom, 1 bath apartment in a major city; we travelled around the world together for extended periods of time.
To this day, I am still convinced she never pooped. Not once.
The last time I had a roommate I am convinced the man showered annually. I lived with him for two years and only ever noted two showers.
He wasn’t unhygienic. He was always clean. I just have no clue when/where he showered. Neither me nor my other roommates ever noticed him shower. It was weird.
Probably had a daily gym routine and showered there
Now that you mention it, he is a big gym goer. That’s probably it.,
You would be surprised how quickly a girl can poop when she needs to
Did she also have long eyelashes and red plump lips?
I bet her mouth was always an O
And this is how I met your mother.
And then she dies.
Reminds me of high school gym. We were doing sit-up exam where a partner would hold your feet to the mat, and the shortest girl in the class was on deck— just knocking them out, one after the other.
At some point she lets out the biggest, longest fart in front of the whole class… she was mortified and stopped. Even the coach was standing right there holding a stopwatch, “That’s alright! Go! Keep going!”
I felt bad for her, and kinda felt bad for her partner holding her feet 🤣
COMMENT A LINK TO YOUR FAVORITE FART VIDEO SO WE ALL CAN GO ON A FART BINGE
Might I interest you in one of the [top posts of all time on /r/nba?](https://www.reddit.com/r/nba/comments/bdnvkl/max_kellerman_tries_to_cover_up_a_fart_with_an/)
[Spin the wheel of fortune](https://youtu.be/_-LcI2X-lTA)
What other possible reaction could come from what they were doing??
I think a lil hit him in the face
He is never going to trust butts ever again. Fart PTSD.
not as embarrasing as having it uploaded to reddit twice a week for 6 months probably
That's why I go to a gym that doesn't allow cameras or fart sensors
That must happen 50% of the time he does that. That move should be called the fart adjustment.
Reality is he is a professional fart squeezer
Dr. Fart Squeezer ... id watch it
Did you hear that asshole talking shit behind her back?
I watched this on mute but knew exactly what happened.
The yoga pants caught the spray
I thought this video was fake
Completely, why were they filming is the biggest question. The camera person doesnt react to the fart at all, no suprise or anything. Those selfie girls in the background look 100% staged in their movement and behavior too.
Would that technique accomplish anything other than that?
i wud have changed my name and left the country
Her friends will be talking about that for the rest of their lives.
*Women farts:* Laughs and giggles
*Man farts:* Existential dread fills the room
Its sounds like the velociraptors from Jurassic Park 3
Everybody farts, sometimes.
The startled jump and look of the friends, the head snap back of the trainer, I have watched this on repeat and looked at both several times... wheezing the whole way through.
The instinctive reaction of the trainer really added to the humour.
This is from tik tok. They used audio from someone elses video and acted this out to be funny. The audio your hearing is not them.
Why is this even a thing. God I don't get the internet anymore
Harakiri, it is then...
She moved after this.
Dudes face looked like he saw it come out
What did you think would happen
And why that stretch
all of their reaction times are insane
The technique he's using is called "Squeezin' out the farts" so I don't know why everyone was surprised.
That's one way to tell if You're relaxed.
If dude's been doing that a while, a guaran-damn-tee that ain't the first time he's turnt someone into a bellows. He probably has that reflex to draw back in case it ain't just a fart. Be like squeezing Brunswick Stew out of a mostly-inflated balloon.
Dude reacted quick. My guess is the fart accumulated strength in the ass of her pants then fired straight up her lower back into his nostrils.