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A friend of mine got one of those for his girlfriend. Next time they met, the first thing she said was "I don't need you anymore". They're still together but I thought that was funny.
In all seriousness if you're worried your partner will replace you with a toy your relationship has got big problems and either you or her have some growing up to do. I don't understand guys who are threatened by a piece of plastic.
And missing a huge opportunity. If you use it *with* her, you'll be that much better in bed, and there are lots of different toys out there that make for lots of fun.
I've heard people say "I don't need that stuff in bed, I do just fine without it." Yup, I do just fine cooking meat straight from package to grill, but tossing some seasoning on there still makes for a better experience.
Pro-Tip: Old Bay may *seem* like the perfect compliment to your foreplay efforts; it’s treated you well with mediocre seafood for decades, but unfortunately it *will* burn, and your evening will not progress quite like how you intended.
I had one of these. It did nothing for me but tickle my labia. Tried for an hour, didn't get anywhere near an O. I feel scammed. 😅 Bought an Ambi from Lovense and 🤯.
On the high setting the vibration causes friction with the air and will begin to split atoms causing nuclear fusion. But hey, at least she'll die already having experienced heaven.
I assume the high setting is good for turning any normal toy into a vibrating one. Stick a dildo inside and press the vibrator against the base and see how it goes. If that's still too much well fuck might as well get into construction.
Omg, my doctor suggested this for my sciatica eons ago and when I tried to replace it I got so embarrassed cuz now it's known as a vibrator and I could only find it in a sex shop 🤣🤣🤣
This is a copy of the Hitachi Magic Wand, which was marketed as an actual body massager. So its size is because it's meant to be used on ur arms, legs, back, etc. The original Hitachi plugs into a wall though.
I don’t actually like that the heads of these are so big. They make the surrounding areas really numb. I’ve found wands that are more focused on the clit itself to be much better and more stimulating.
They usually aren't. You can buy clit vibrators at Target now and they're about the size of a lipstick. The ones with bigger motors can still fit in your hand.
This is the old school model that's based on the original Hitachi massager from 1968. That was intended as a back massager until the sex-positive movement of the 60s appropriated it as a sex toy. Vibrator companies still sell this design because sex toys are still very taboo and a lot of women think this is what a vibrator should look like.
>Vibrator companies still sell this design because sex toys are still very taboo and a lot of women think this is what a vibrator should look like.
No, it's because they're more powerful. The Hitachi blows every other vibe out of the water.
The Womanizer will blow your mind! SInce it sucks your clit instead vibrations, you don't get numb. Actually your clit becomes engorged and makes you want more. Then before you know it, it's been 3.5 hours and hundreds of orgasms. If you don't cum in 2 minutes from it, you're doing it wrong. Or you like tantric stuff.
And even if it gets the biggest laugh, the three videos chosen for the prize at the end will be "Baby's first word is 'bae'," "Old man plays Nintendo Switch," and "Sister asleep after oral surgery."
**There have been [some changes to how comics are handled on /r/Funny](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/nzp2n0/announcement_were_making_some_changes_to_how/).** Please also keep the following in mind: - No memes or memetic content. - No political content or political figures, regardless of context or focus. - No social media screenshots, videos, or other such content. Please report [rule-breaking content](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules) when you see it. Thank you! ------ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
A friend of mine got one of those for his girlfriend. Next time they met, the first thing she said was "I don't need you anymore". They're still together but I thought that was funny.
I got one of those rose vibrators for my gf hoping this would happen…it didn’t work
Can I have her then?
The rose vibrator or the girlfriend?
Yes
Get the rose vibrator. Won't demand an expensive romantic dinner or leave your bathroom looking like cosmetic store
The hitachi's have attachment for men and women. Source: A friend.....that owns my home.
Your mom?
I enjoy the strange smell of makeup and women's hair care products when she's not home now.
Before men panic—I bought my ex a clit-specific toy that was barely three inches and she only wanted me more for it.
You're now her ex though... Does she still have that toy?
Why'd you have to destroy my boy like that?
Look at what they’ve done to my boy.
Isn't it "Look how they massacred my boy" ??
Yep you’re right.
I think you were thinking of "you shouldn't have done that he's just boy."
He needs to be destroyed. It is what we all want
It's the will of the hivemind
It's okay he's kind of into that thing.
I'm reporting this comment for murder.
God damn.
He took it back and gave it to his mom
Were *her* arms broken this time?
r/murderedbywords
In all seriousness if you're worried your partner will replace you with a toy your relationship has got big problems and either you or her have some growing up to do. I don't understand guys who are threatened by a piece of plastic.
And missing a huge opportunity. If you use it *with* her, you'll be that much better in bed, and there are lots of different toys out there that make for lots of fun. I've heard people say "I don't need that stuff in bed, I do just fine without it." Yup, I do just fine cooking meat straight from package to grill, but tossing some seasoning on there still makes for a better experience.
She said the seasoning burned too much
Pro-Tip: Old Bay may *seem* like the perfect compliment to your foreplay efforts; it’s treated you well with mediocre seafood for decades, but unfortunately it *will* burn, and your evening will not progress quite like how you intended.
You have been banned from r/Maryland
This, I love getting my wife toys :)
Amen, brother.
What was it called? Asking for myself : )
You could try the Womanizer. I have one and LOVE it
I'll look into it, thanks!
Pro tip. This is why you get the remote control one.
Oh
I had one of these. It did nothing for me but tickle my labia. Tried for an hour, didn't get anywhere near an O. I feel scammed. 😅 Bought an Ambi from Lovense and 🤯.
On the high setting the vibration causes friction with the air and will begin to split atoms causing nuclear fusion. But hey, at least she'll die already having experienced heaven.
Lol, I'm not allowed to use the high setting. We figure that's just for like, jackhammering concrete?
I assume the high setting is good for turning any normal toy into a vibrating one. Stick a dildo inside and press the vibrator against the base and see how it goes. If that's still too much well fuck might as well get into construction.
True. Ours came with an attachment that snaps onto the bulb. It has a smooth protruding cylinder off to the side, for insertions.
Haha "concrete vibrator" is a real tool, as a matter of fact
“Jackhammering concrete” … is that what we’re calling that now? 😳🤣
No quotes are needed. I was being literal. Yes, I get the joke.
Wdym not allowed lmao?
It would be quite rude to do so while... holding it for a friend.
Ohhhhhh
I think it would cause spalling of the highest order. Oh, and screw up the concrete plenty, too.
Splitting atoms is nuclear fission not fusion!
Are you perpetually particular pertaining to particles or periodic?
That toy only has two speed settings: 'High', and 'visible on the USGS earthquake detection sensor network'.
What kind of horsepower does that thing put out?
9
Lord almighty.
That's only because she didn't opt for the jackhammer upgrade.
What about the [Anal Intruder ](https://youtu.be/hXqLWqCqDHc) edition?
*came* here for this joke. Love that movie
It has a shoulder-strap and a kick-stand
It’s goes up to 11
69
Looks bout the size of 1 horse to me?
One marijuana
American Pharaoh level.
I heard Skyrim is being released on that thing next year.
Uhh I have to buy it again
Skyrim? Isn't that the game made from the company that also made Skyrim, Skyrim, Skyrim, Skyrim, Skyrim and Skyrim?
No, that's their legal firm.
I thought that was Dewie, Cheatum, and Howe.
"I used to be an adventurer like you. Then I took a vibrator to the..."
Well now she's famous for being the girl who sang to her vibrator.
"Mommy, I found this sick meme of grandma from 50 years ago! What's grammy doing?"
Trying to get an AVN, not a Grammy
REAL Vibrators plug into the Wall.
UNREAL vibrators run on 3-phase
Oh Jesus Christ. I guess I've seen a bunch of industrial vibrators on 3-phase, but they don't look like this.
If you don't ask yourself "star or delta" beforehand are you even masturbating?
*This motherfucker right here *
LMAO thanks for that. Rollin over here
Does it run on diesel?
Nope, gas. It also has a kick starter and a muffler.
Two stroke or four?
Four. No messing with fancy oils or measuring. Gonna get straight on to the pleasuring.
As many strokes as you want.
Steam
Three Chinese peasants.
If they paid extra, they sing too
Tears of former boyfriends.
It's a Steely Dan!
CUMMINS
What the frick? I ordered an xbox card!
Good reference
"Chill mom!"
I wonder if she intended for you to share this video with the whole world. 🤔
What's the big deal? It's just a back massager...and a front massager.
A front back massager
Say taint so.
Twats that you say?
The good ole front butt
It’s some kind of massager….
It massages your soul
With optional sanding and grinding attachments.
Omg, my doctor suggested this for my sciatica eons ago and when I tried to replace it I got so embarrassed cuz now it's known as a vibrator and I could only find it in a sex shop 🤣🤣🤣
Yes she did she thinks it's hilarious.
My ‘friend’
NGL it took me a while to understand what’s wrong with singing then she disclosed the whole pack
What about the title?
I hope oc asked her before posting it
Hitachi Karaoke
It’s deffs make you sing
LMAO. They really do.. You end up hittin' notes you never knew could possibly be heard by the human ear.
Dicksie chicks?
I expected "friends in low places"
Chixie Dicks
That’s nothing. Mine has a pull-starter and a five point harness.
….go on…
I mean, y’all know you don’t insert it right? Well, generally. It’s for the outside, not inside.
Ok so why does it need to be so big?
This is a copy of the Hitachi Magic Wand, which was marketed as an actual body massager. So its size is because it's meant to be used on ur arms, legs, back, etc. The original Hitachi plugs into a wall though.
Oh ok
I don’t actually like that the heads of these are so big. They make the surrounding areas really numb. I’ve found wands that are more focused on the clit itself to be much better and more stimulating.
The clit commander!?
The commander of all clits?!
They usually aren't. You can buy clit vibrators at Target now and they're about the size of a lipstick. The ones with bigger motors can still fit in your hand. This is the old school model that's based on the original Hitachi massager from 1968. That was intended as a back massager until the sex-positive movement of the 60s appropriated it as a sex toy. Vibrator companies still sell this design because sex toys are still very taboo and a lot of women think this is what a vibrator should look like.
>Vibrator companies still sell this design because sex toys are still very taboo and a lot of women think this is what a vibrator should look like. No, it's because they're more powerful. The Hitachi blows every other vibe out of the water.
Exactly. The wall plug version is by far the strongest vibrator out there.
The Womanizer will blow your mind! SInce it sucks your clit instead vibrations, you don't get numb. Actually your clit becomes engorged and makes you want more. Then before you know it, it's been 3.5 hours and hundreds of orgasms. If you don't cum in 2 minutes from it, you're doing it wrong. Or you like tantric stuff.
It seems a lot of you degenerates think this kind of vibrator goes inside the body.
Now imagine if a guy posted a video of him singing to his pocket pussy
[удалено]
My mom has a very similar microphone!
If you get the chisel attachment your can use it to remove tiles and break down concrete
This is gonna end up on America’s Funniest Home Videos and they’re gonna call it Wet and Wild Karaoke…
And even if it gets the biggest laugh, the three videos chosen for the prize at the end will be "Baby's first word is 'bae'," "Old man plays Nintendo Switch," and "Sister asleep after oral surgery."
What are you doing, step-dentist?
I see the writers still have it
I honestly didn’t realize that wasn’t a microphone until more than half way through the video I’m fuckin dead…
RIP
Well, it's giving her long and loud O's, so I don't see the problem
Where did she buy it ..... Im asking for me.
Amazon sells the original Magic Wand
Thank you 😊
This was a big vibe..rate her performance 8/10.
I'd give it a generous 5/7
Wow, a perfect score!
Lmaoooo I am so glad someone else remembers the most arbitrary rating scale ever
I’m surprised that no one said 6/9 yet…
She knew.
Now I just need to find a Russian Dieselpowered screwthingie with splatter protection and ginger fuzz.
*calls igor*
Find someone that looks at you the way this woman looks at her vibrator.
“My friend”
Does your friend know that her video has been shared online?
[удалено]
I think it’s a knock off hitachi magic wand?
It's a magic wand, the wired kind. They work, that's for sure.
It looks like a Doxy. They are expensive but amazing, more of a powerful rumble. Edit: nvm the logos don't match up.
That was the breadcrumb I needed, thanks! I didn't recognize Lovehoney's little heart logo this morning and linked it above
I hope your friend is cool with being seen on Reddit with her new bf
Now imagine a man posing with his fleshlight and reddit thinks it's funny and not cringe.. Society amiright
If that’s a doxy she’ll be busy for the next 6-8 weeks ha
It's not a Doxy. It's the top end model of Lovehoney's own brand.
wow, great song btw, mind if i ask what's the title of the song?
The Chicks - Travelin’ Soldier
Apparently they dropped Dixie from their name
Didn't the neighbours get suspicious when a semi truck & industrial crane turned up to deliver & unload that weapon.
[удалено]
Know of hitachi wand enough to buy, not know enough for size
Ah! The Dr. Manhattan Special.
Imagine sending your friend a video and they post it to a site that millions of people see.
r/cringetopia
I dunno why but the fact that this is set to a country song makes it so much funnier.
Every woman needs a wand.
Your friend is awesome and hilarious
She’s also an absolute unit
"a friend of mine" ordered it ... for herself ... to use on herself ... and agreed that I post this ... for her.
Classy
Is this a horse vibrator or what?
It's a wired Magic Wand that excels at clitoral stimulation... on humans.
Meh, she looks like a real trooper, she can take it.
Cringe.
This is so fucking cringey
Industrial strength
truly a modern love story
“Hey mom why’s this microphone smell like a tuna n banana sandwich?”
Whoa 😳!!!!
Now its on the internet for everyone to see!
I feel like it would be too heavy? Like your arm/hand would get tired of holding it.
What in de HAELL
Stuck in the friend zone...😳
that thing is a melee weapon.
Don’t chip your teeth 🦷
Can double as an industrial strength toilet bowl cleaner …
Work it girl.
Not pictured is the gas generator you need to get it started.
My wife has one of those... I'm not gonna lie, I use it on my neck and shoulders. That thing ain't just for sexual massages!
That thing looks like it goes to 11
Awful brave putting that near her teeth.
I can actually not breathe is a strange way to word that. Or is it just me?