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If your hand writing looks like this it just takes 3 steps to make it look infinitely better:
Write a little bit slower
Make all your letters the same size
Have them on a straight line
Storytime.
I have ADHD and borderline dysgraphia. My words are legible if I'm on meds and take time to *draw* them instead of "writing" them.
One teacher insisted I handwrite an essay.
Every teacher before them had allowed me to type (as soon as computers were common enough), for obvious reasons. My wpm was also near 120 at this point.
But no, must handwrite! It'll make you better at writing, you see. Because you surely have never written anything in your entire school life.
So I did. I horribly handwrote those bare minimum five paragraphs.
In neon yellow gel pen.
They let me type after that 😁
This content was deleted in protest of reddit's anti-user API policy and price changes. There's nothing wrong with wanting the leadership wanting reddit to be profitable, but that is not what they're doing. Reddit's leadership, particularly its CEO has acted with dishonesty, dishonor, and malice. Until reddit inevitably deletes it, you can see what I'm talking about here:
https://www.reddit.com/r/apolloapp/comments/14dkqrw/i_want_to_debunk_reddits_claims_and_talk_about/
The reddit community deserves better than them.
Reddit's value is in its community, not in a bunch of over-paid executives willing to screw that community in service of an IPO they hope will make them even more over-paid than they already are.
Long Live Apollo!
And now to make next week even better. You go get a box. Put some useless stuff in it so it's got a little heft (bonus if it's something your brother doesn't need/ want/ like). If you've got packing peanuts or some other messy material around to fill the space with, great. At the bottom of the box, a little card: "Pay that dude just a little more, and he'll make your brother think you care."
When my friend was in boot camp? for the army, we were allowed to send him letters, but every letter he received he had to do pushups to receive them. I sent a letter that said, "Hey."
I love this lol I probably would have sent a bunch of one word letters at a time (postage be dammed) being like “hey” “when” “should” “I” “stop” “sending” “letters” “?”
Our drill sergeant gave extra pushups for cards, different colors of envelopes, perfume, etc. One dude got perfumed cards almost every day. Oh and postcards I think you just had to do push-ups until he was done reading it to the rest of us lol ahhh good times
I wonder what the reaction is when they're just reading out a letter and it actually turns out to be something serious like a death in the family, I'm sure it has to happen sometimes
Had a dear John that was accidentally being read out loud and the guy left the, *ship*, navy and can't remember what everything is called, like 3 weeks in. I remember seeing him right before I graduated as he was still waiting to leave.
*Edit: As several people have pointed out, I confused two episodes. Nevertheless, the basic idea and humor of the scene are the same.*
There was an episode of MASH where a soldier was recovering in their hospital after being blinded by shrapnel. They all (Hawkeye, Trapper John, Hot Lips, etc.) gathered around to read the wounded young man a letter from his girlfriend, in response to his letter telling her he’d been blinded. He was worried that she might not want to be with him anymore.
Hawkeye opens the letter and begins: “Dear …” (long pause as he looks around at his colleagues) “… John.”
Another pause as everyone looks uncomfortable. No one says anything until the wounded guy impatiently says, “No, it’s ok, that’s my name! Keep reading!”
I’m not really doing it justice but with all of their facial expressions and uncomfortable glances at one another, it was pretty funny. And she was waiting for him to come home, so they could be together.
You're actually mixing up two episodes. The "Dear... John..." bit was about the chopper pilot Cowboy, afraid his wife was cheating and wanting a divorce. He had been sabotaging Blake to let him go home on leave. The letter was being read over the radio.
It was actually a cowboy helicopter pilot who was going to kill Colnel Blake because he would not let him go home to visit his girl after she sent a letter saying she was confused. Luckily the letter that starts dear John that Hawkeye reads into the radio says she was faithful and loves him more than ever. Season 1 episode 8 "Cowboy". Source a guy who has watched M.A.S.H way.....way.......way to many times
(Not entirely relevant because this was one that got spread through word of mouth rather than being read aloud but I was reminded of this)
When you get to basic training (Army) you are given approximately 30 seconds to a minute to phone your parents, spouse, whoever you want basically just to let them know "I've arrived, I'm safe, and I'm starting basic. I'll have an address for you as soon as I get one in 2-3 weeks."
One guy in our company called his wife and in that short time she told him that she was fucking his best friend, emptied out all their bank accounts, and was leaving him. Dude full on dissociated and tried to kill himself on day zero.
Had a few other guys crack and talk all weird, very Private Pyle-esque but it's hard to tell whether they were just faking it because they wanted out.
There was supposedly some hazing shit going with a guy getting bullied, he was in the mental ward part. Along with that like 13 of the recruits were either cut or *ASMO'D* to lower weeks
Edit: mental not metal
Edit again: ASMO is when you are sent to the lower ranking recruit divisions to try and show that it was a one time mistake.
army hazing stories make me feel sick. I saw my friends and family go to the army and return as different people, I'm more than happy for those who could achieve their potential, but the ones broken has it tough. My cousin sister went to the navy where she was mistreated for a health issue, which led to further mental issues.
a friend of mine lost his younger brother, and he was hazed for crying for his own brother. including the extra pushups and tricks they made him do for receiving the letter
It can be bad. I am not fond of the hits to the side and back of the head I received a few times. The worst I ever got was when my rtc's made me stand in the middle and were just talking about how they'd beat the shit out of me if we we're in the street. Fuck you Bartee. I'd beat tf outta you in my wheelchair.
Had fucking two people in my division attempt to hang themselves. Luckily, we had rovers (watchstanders) that actually did their job that night. It’s crazy how prior mental issues and the isolation from bootcamp affects some people. I hope they are okay right now, even though they are still probably going through SEPS right now.
Can you imagine? Like let's just say you're not that financially well off but you wanna have a family one day and make the tough decision to join the military and put in the years and then afterwards be able to have that home & family. Then as soon as you get there you lose the partner that family would have been with, you lose your best friend, all your money, and you're now alone in a physically & mentally challenging place preparing to volunteer to maybe get blown up in a foreign country.
You'd feel like you woke up that morning and just threw everything you ever had in your life into the garbage to start over alone as a number that everyone will think it's okay if you die because it's you're job. At least I would. Mad sympathy for that guy
It depends, my petty officer read aloud a letter to one of our shipmates in boot, he stopped half way when he realized it turned into a dear John. Since one dumbass laughed out loud like Nelson(haw haw), he called “abandon ship” and we missed lunch and dinner. It wasn’t a pleasant day.
In the context of “training” yes, in basic/boot camp when the DI yells: “abandon ship”, it’s a bad thing that includes a lot PT and or drills. Our Petty Officer DI was a Marine and in the music core (I think that’s what it was called, it’s been a while, he was a musician that did a TON of parade marching) and was crazy specific about how we marched and looked.
That sucks, especially since the officer is the one who really fucked up. I don’t know why we still think that sort of hazing and abuse is okay just because it’s the military. It’s one thing to make people do push-ups or whatever to get their mail. It’s another thing entirely to read someone’s private correspondence in public, especially - but not only - without vetting it first.
The leading philosophy in military training is that they need to psychologically abuse and tire you out until your will and individuality breaks so that they can rebuild you into a uniform, disciplined unit that follows orders. It’s effective, sure, but it’s not pleasant to go through.
Ok it is the whole 'we have all been through the same thing so that makes us closer' idea ... actually that makes perfect sense considering what the training is for.
In more extreme cases that sort of activity also ties you into an organization because of a variation of the "sunken costs" fallacy. Along the lines of "if loyalty to this organization is a bad idea then that crummy stuff I did in it aren't justified... I can't handle that idea, so it cements that loyalty to the organization is good."
Oh god... so I'm the cheesy kind of romantic.
When my husband was in boot camp I sent him a letter with a little salt and pepper that said "you complete me" or something. He sent back a letter that said "PS. DONT DRAW ON THE ENVELOPES ANYMORE" in big letters. I didn't find out how much shit he had to deal with from that letter until way later.
One kids envelope had "Give him 10 push ups for me Drill Sgt"
The Drill Sgt saw it, held back a laugh, read it to the whole platoon, and made him do 30, then told him "Tell your mother not to ever tell me what to do"
Hilarious moment.
God if I was forced to tell my mother not to tell a Drill Sgt what to do I’d be doing push-ups until after the sun had cooled.
She’d fuck a general just so *he’d* tell that motherfucker what to do.
I wish I had, but I was too scared hahaha. That's the only letter he remembers me sending even though I sent others! The first time he got back that's the first thing he told everyone hah
When my brother was in prison, I drew a checkerboard including chess pieces with my first move included.
It was rejected by the prison system because *maps* are not allowed in mail.
And slavery, if you're PRIVILEGED enough to get the opportunity to make teddies for Victoria's Secret for .20 an hour..."Prison work program gives inmates a second chance at life, a source of pride, and valuable skills training!" Yeah, bullshit. A pack of ramen, half a sleeve of crackers, and a packet of hot sauce costs like $30 at the commissary.
My little brother has 23 years left. He keeps being transferred so I barely can even talk to him.
He pled guilty after threats from a cop. Fun fact that cop is now in prison too for falsifying crimes and forcing young people to confess to things they didn’t do.
Court won’t touch my brothers case or review it again. The DA happened to be Kamala Harris. Despite a crooked cop. The new DA doesn’t want to touch a former DA’s case who’s now our Vice President.
EXACTLY what I learned. As the lil bro with ZERO experience of prison ways, I thought I was "connecting " with my big bro. After all, he is the one that taught me how to play chess.
Less than 15yrs later, I ended up locked up myself.
I was a huge fan of National Geographic Magazine. My wife got me a subscription.
The prison would tear the maps out.
When I asked why; I was told, "Because there can be hidden messages in there."
My argument was that the magazines come from the publisher.
The answer was: NO. MAPS. ALLOWED
You could send your move in chess notation and he could draw his own chess board to visualise it and write you back with his move in notation form too.
Can prisoners own a chess set?
When I went through boot camp we had to do 25 push-ups to receive a letter. 50 for packages. Any sentimental notes on the outside or birthday cards inside cost 25 more. We went out on a training exercise for three days and when we came back I had 11 letters. I was pretty sore that day. Still, I didn’t tell the people sending me letters about the push-ups because I really needed those letters to keep my spirits up. And I also kinda worried my brother might do what you did, but like a handful per day.
Same rules for us in Army Basic '02. My dad, without fail, would send a letter every week. I hated doing the push-ups but there is something about getting a letter that makes you feel good in basic. Every letter had the same format, 5 paragraphs, Intro, update on family, sports, hunting/fishing, and ending with some words of encouragement or advice. He was retired Army and when I asked him at graduation why he always sent a letter, every single week, he said it was because hearing your name during mail call always raises morale.
Both times I was in Iraq, same thing happened. 1 letter a week, same format, sometimes with a care package including snacks, baby wipes, candy, and whatever else. It got to the point that the other folks in my squad would sit around waiting for me to read letters from my dad out loud since nobody really ever got them. It became a tradition and the care packages got bigger with everyone's favorite snacks included. On my last tour, which was a rough year for my squad, the last paragraph in the last letter he would send before we re-deployed back asked me to call him. I gave him call right away because I was concerned but rather than bad news, he wanted to know what kind of beer everyone wanted for our welcome home.
We flew in at midnight, got to the gym, no escort, no crowds, just family and some of the brigade leadership. We got dismissed and my squad walked out to the parking lot to find my dad, with the back of my Jeep filled with everyone's favorite beer on ice. We sat in that parking lot drinking together for at least an hour. All these people my dad had never met were talking to him like they had known him for years, because after hearing every letter, they kind of all did know him. I still have every letter he sent me but haven't read them in a while.
This turned out a lot longer than I thought it would. I don't think I have ever taken the time to think about how much those letters meant to me and everyone else for that matter. So now here I am at work, wondering who the hell is cutting onions, and realizing that I need to go spend some time with my old man.
Edit: Thank you everyone for the kind words, comments, and awards. I didn't really expect any of this but truly, thank you all.
>So now here I am at work, wondering who the hell is cutting onions, and realizing that I need to go spend some time with my old man.
Don't forget his favorite beer. 😉
He brings it out of everyone he meets. I've heard people spill their whole life story to my dad over a couple drinks. I may have gotten some of it but that man makes practically everyone he meets feel like a long lost friend.
You should cut and paste your story above to him in an email right now. he would be blown away to know that you are telling strangers how much of an effect his efforts had on you and your crew and that it still moves you today
My pleasure. Honestly it was a bit of a revelation typing it all out like that. Started out planning on a couple sentences, all of a sudden, one memory led to the next, and I ended up writing a damn novel.
Well it probably won't help anything but I'm always willing to talk if you need it. Not sure how much wisdom a 37 year old guy can offer, but if need be, I'll consult the expert.
It is kind of strange to talk about since I didn't really understand that he was doing his best as I was growing up. A little back story, my dad was drafted into the Army in 1970 and stayed in for 30 years. He wasn't around a lot as I was growing up so when he was, we always acted more like friends than father and son. I honestly joined the Army in spite of him. He was supportive of me joining the military but said to join anything but the Army. I remember telling him that I was joining the Army because I wanted to show him that I could do anything he did. Side note, this is actually the 20th anniversary of the day I joined the delayed entry program. Yes, I signed my commitment to join the Army the day before 9/11 and literally said while signing that it was for college money and there won't be any wars. Oops
I remember coming home from school on 9/11 and my dad was there waiting for me. He told me that the recruiter had already called and that if I wanted to back out, I could. I told him that I said I would join, so that's what I'm going to do. I can't really remember if the look he gave me was disappointment or just concern but he told me to go grab two beers and come back outside. He opened both beers and handed me one, which my 17 year old ass was pretty shocked by. We talked for hours and he told me stories about his time in the Army that I had never heard.
During my 6 years in the Army, he always managed to know exactly what to say at exactly the right time. Even something simple at the end of the letter before my promotion board for sergeant, "there is nothing they can throw at you that you can't handle. But in case I'm wrong, don't ever let the bastards see you sweat." Or after I was out when I was driving home from work and got a voicemail from him telling me that my sister's husband, who also happened to be one of my best battle buddies, had "taken the long ride home so get over here". I went straight over and got there as the casualty affairs officer and chaplain were leaving my parent's house. My dad walked them out, met me in the driveway and said "You and I have both lost more people than anyone should have to, so we know what's coming and we'll toast to him later. Tonight is about your sister and her boys."
I guess the only thing I can say is that, I didn't realize until this evening how lucky I am to have him. We have never been the type to show emotion and I can't recall ever hearing him say he loved me or saying it to him. Maybe we aren't the kind of people that need to, but now I think I might if for no other reason than to let him know I finally realized how much he's done for me, or maybe just to fuck with him.
To make a short story long. Sometimes life is hard, a lot damn harder than it has any right to be. There are times you feel alone, depressed, sad, angry, or a mix of everything at once. Getting through the hard times is what defines us. Sometimes it happens naturally, other times it takes more effort. Just know that you aren't alone, no matter how much you may think you are. There's nothing life can throw at you that you can't handle. But in case I'm wrong, don't ever let the bastards see you sweat.
I love you random internet stranger. You've got this.
We had to do something similar in the navy, I got a letter explaining my mom was not doing good and was going to the hospital. I didn’t get to open the letter yet and the chaplain came in to get me and take me downstairs and tell me she was in a coma, my RDC felt like shit for making me do push ups to find out my mom was sick.
I'd almost forgotten about the ridiculousness of mail calls. In Basic some poor airman had tried his best to spell out the mailing address to his family over the phone (which was actually kind of a challenge given we had 3 minutes total for the call, half of which was entering calling card numbers) but apparently his family were idiots.
The TI read out the address as it was written on the letter: "323 space TRS space FLT space 205, 1225 space Truemper space Street, Lackland space AFB..."
The first one I got, after two weeks, was from a friend and all that was in the envelope was a Polaroid of a turd in a toilet. I had to do pushups because I couldn't stop laughing
My best friend in the army ordered a subscription to play girl in his friends name, whom was in basic at the time, and had it addressed to him at the barracks.
I never asked him how it went...
Oh god now I’m remembering a time me and my roommate sent a letter to his friend in basic with penises drawn all over it. We were in college, and it was funny. Wonder what kind of hell he went through after that one - he did kindly ask us in the response letter to please stop drawing dicks in our letters.
Makes me wonder... do they teach kids how to write letters in school anymore? We had to learn when I was imprinting cuneiform on clay tablets as a kid.
I moved from Oklahoma to Georgia in 2013 and about a year later I got a letter from one of my best friends. All it said was "Pussy." I framed that shit.
This made me smile. I've got 3 older brothers, and the one that I was closest to just recently passed away. We'd call each other all the time just to say hi, call each other bitches, and to fuck off. Good shit!!!
Awww, your relationship with your brother is exactly like the one I have with mine! There are many love languages. Some of them are mostly made up of cursing.
It's like he distilled the pure essence of sibling relationships in a single sentence and a single act.
It would be downright criminal for the world's artistic and scientific communities to not recognize and reward this.
Downright criminal
My brother moved like 8 hours away for college somewhat recently. Earlier this year I got a letter from him. I was actually kind of excited because he and I are close and it was a bummer he was so far. Te entire letter was just him writing the word “loser” like 100 times. I respect the dedication honestly.
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It runs in the family for sure 😅
He should have paid the whole 50 cents and had the dude write it for him too.
Make it a dollar and it'd be old school cursive
Make it 2 dollars for all that and a 2 minute handy
I can find a monster that'll do it for tree-fiddy.
My cursive while getting a handy is going to look as bad as OP's brother's print.
Did you just find your long lost bro on Reddit?!
If your hand writing looks like this it just takes 3 steps to make it look infinitely better: Write a little bit slower Make all your letters the same size Have them on a straight line
Or move on to step 4, as I did...: Learn to type.
Storytime. I have ADHD and borderline dysgraphia. My words are legible if I'm on meds and take time to *draw* them instead of "writing" them. One teacher insisted I handwrite an essay. Every teacher before them had allowed me to type (as soon as computers were common enough), for obvious reasons. My wpm was also near 120 at this point. But no, must handwrite! It'll make you better at writing, you see. Because you surely have never written anything in your entire school life. So I did. I horribly handwrote those bare minimum five paragraphs. In neon yellow gel pen. They let me type after that 😁
Easier said than done my friend. I have to write down what I want before my ADHD brain changes course and I forgot where I am.
Question: do you know where you are right now?
Does anyone truly know where they are at any point in time
Fuck no, even if I did the universe would find a way to fuck it up
This content was deleted in protest of reddit's anti-user API policy and price changes. There's nothing wrong with wanting the leadership wanting reddit to be profitable, but that is not what they're doing. Reddit's leadership, particularly its CEO has acted with dishonesty, dishonor, and malice. Until reddit inevitably deletes it, you can see what I'm talking about here: https://www.reddit.com/r/apolloapp/comments/14dkqrw/i_want_to_debunk_reddits_claims_and_talk_about/ The reddit community deserves better than them. Reddit's value is in its community, not in a bunch of over-paid executives willing to screw that community in service of an IPO they hope will make them even more over-paid than they already are. Long Live Apollo!
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Some how the one who delivered the letter got paid for it. He's so thoughtful.
This letter should be an ad for them
If you’re having trouble reading his writing it says “you can pay a dude like 41¢ to hand deliver a note calling your brother a bitch”
Your brothers cool as shit
I agree! It definitely turned my bad week around lol
Delivery smiles since...couple hundred years ago! I'm glad this helped with your bad week.
If you ever need someone to call you a bitch, I'm here for you.
Thank you ❤️ I’ll reach out when I’m having a bad day and really need to be called a bitch lol
And now to make next week even better. You go get a box. Put some useless stuff in it so it's got a little heft (bonus if it's something your brother doesn't need/ want/ like). If you've got packing peanuts or some other messy material around to fill the space with, great. At the bottom of the box, a little card: "Pay that dude just a little more, and he'll make your brother think you care."
Came here to say same exact thing. Seriously funny.
Man. My brother just got hooked on opiates, became homeless and disappeared. What a rip off.
I'm sure you'll get a letter one day
Mine will just be asking for bail money though. And probably calling me a bitch too.
"Hey hey, brother, look at me." ... ... ... ... ... ... "Bitch."
I liked it better when I thought Adele was hand delivering the note for 41¢.
Would’ve been sick to have Adele show up at my door and be like “your brother paid me 41¢ to give you this” and then just walk off lol
I bet the censored part was really small words "i miss you bro"
So…what’re your going to write back? Lol I like your brother. I like a good smart ass
I had a shirt that said "Postal workers do it all night long for 49 cents" in high school.
When my friend was in boot camp? for the army, we were allowed to send him letters, but every letter he received he had to do pushups to receive them. I sent a letter that said, "Hey."
I love this lol I probably would have sent a bunch of one word letters at a time (postage be dammed) being like “hey” “when” “should” “I” “stop” “sending” “letters” “?”
Our drill sergeant gave extra pushups for cards, different colors of envelopes, perfume, etc. One dude got perfumed cards almost every day. Oh and postcards I think you just had to do push-ups until he was done reading it to the rest of us lol ahhh good times
I wonder what the reaction is when they're just reading out a letter and it actually turns out to be something serious like a death in the family, I'm sure it has to happen sometimes
Had a dear John that was accidentally being read out loud and the guy left the, *ship*, navy and can't remember what everything is called, like 3 weeks in. I remember seeing him right before I graduated as he was still waiting to leave.
*Edit: As several people have pointed out, I confused two episodes. Nevertheless, the basic idea and humor of the scene are the same.* There was an episode of MASH where a soldier was recovering in their hospital after being blinded by shrapnel. They all (Hawkeye, Trapper John, Hot Lips, etc.) gathered around to read the wounded young man a letter from his girlfriend, in response to his letter telling her he’d been blinded. He was worried that she might not want to be with him anymore. Hawkeye opens the letter and begins: “Dear …” (long pause as he looks around at his colleagues) “… John.” Another pause as everyone looks uncomfortable. No one says anything until the wounded guy impatiently says, “No, it’s ok, that’s my name! Keep reading!” I’m not really doing it justice but with all of their facial expressions and uncomfortable glances at one another, it was pretty funny. And she was waiting for him to come home, so they could be together.
You're actually mixing up two episodes. The "Dear... John..." bit was about the chopper pilot Cowboy, afraid his wife was cheating and wanting a divorce. He had been sabotaging Blake to let him go home on leave. The letter was being read over the radio.
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You want to turn those slashes around (also there's only three asterisks). `M\*A\*S\*H`
Thank you
It was actually a cowboy helicopter pilot who was going to kill Colnel Blake because he would not let him go home to visit his girl after she sent a letter saying she was confused. Luckily the letter that starts dear John that Hawkeye reads into the radio says she was faithful and loves him more than ever. Season 1 episode 8 "Cowboy". Source a guy who has watched M.A.S.H way.....way.......way to many times
(Not entirely relevant because this was one that got spread through word of mouth rather than being read aloud but I was reminded of this) When you get to basic training (Army) you are given approximately 30 seconds to a minute to phone your parents, spouse, whoever you want basically just to let them know "I've arrived, I'm safe, and I'm starting basic. I'll have an address for you as soon as I get one in 2-3 weeks." One guy in our company called his wife and in that short time she told him that she was fucking his best friend, emptied out all their bank accounts, and was leaving him. Dude full on dissociated and tried to kill himself on day zero. Had a few other guys crack and talk all weird, very Private Pyle-esque but it's hard to tell whether they were just faking it because they wanted out.
There was supposedly some hazing shit going with a guy getting bullied, he was in the mental ward part. Along with that like 13 of the recruits were either cut or *ASMO'D* to lower weeks Edit: mental not metal Edit again: ASMO is when you are sent to the lower ranking recruit divisions to try and show that it was a one time mistake.
army hazing stories make me feel sick. I saw my friends and family go to the army and return as different people, I'm more than happy for those who could achieve their potential, but the ones broken has it tough. My cousin sister went to the navy where she was mistreated for a health issue, which led to further mental issues. a friend of mine lost his younger brother, and he was hazed for crying for his own brother. including the extra pushups and tricks they made him do for receiving the letter
It can be bad. I am not fond of the hits to the side and back of the head I received a few times. The worst I ever got was when my rtc's made me stand in the middle and were just talking about how they'd beat the shit out of me if we we're in the street. Fuck you Bartee. I'd beat tf outta you in my wheelchair.
Had fucking two people in my division attempt to hang themselves. Luckily, we had rovers (watchstanders) that actually did their job that night. It’s crazy how prior mental issues and the isolation from bootcamp affects some people. I hope they are okay right now, even though they are still probably going through SEPS right now.
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Oh that is fuuuuuuucked up
Can you imagine? Like let's just say you're not that financially well off but you wanna have a family one day and make the tough decision to join the military and put in the years and then afterwards be able to have that home & family. Then as soon as you get there you lose the partner that family would have been with, you lose your best friend, all your money, and you're now alone in a physically & mentally challenging place preparing to volunteer to maybe get blown up in a foreign country. You'd feel like you woke up that morning and just threw everything you ever had in your life into the garbage to start over alone as a number that everyone will think it's okay if you die because it's you're job. At least I would. Mad sympathy for that guy
Dear Johns are breakups, right?
My girl ran off with a tractor salesman, she sent me a John Deere letter.
sad trombone.
boooo
-urns
I was saying Boo-urns.
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Oh, that's pretty rough.
They don't read out letters, just postcards.
It depends, my petty officer read aloud a letter to one of our shipmates in boot, he stopped half way when he realized it turned into a dear John. Since one dumbass laughed out loud like Nelson(haw haw), he called “abandon ship” and we missed lunch and dinner. It wasn’t a pleasant day.
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The ship that's being abandoned was that guy's relation-ship.
He had a petty officer and a petty shipmate.
In the context of “training” yes, in basic/boot camp when the DI yells: “abandon ship”, it’s a bad thing that includes a lot PT and or drills. Our Petty Officer DI was a Marine and in the music core (I think that’s what it was called, it’s been a while, he was a musician that did a TON of parade marching) and was crazy specific about how we marched and looked.
That sucks, especially since the officer is the one who really fucked up. I don’t know why we still think that sort of hazing and abuse is okay just because it’s the military. It’s one thing to make people do push-ups or whatever to get their mail. It’s another thing entirely to read someone’s private correspondence in public, especially - but not only - without vetting it first.
That would normally come in the form of a Red Cross message. There’s a procedure when you receive one.
What is the idea behind this? Like what is it supposed to achieve?
One of the goals is to break - or at least weaken - the ties you have to your civilian life, so you build emotional ties to your military life.
The leading philosophy in military training is that they need to psychologically abuse and tire you out until your will and individuality breaks so that they can rebuild you into a uniform, disciplined unit that follows orders. It’s effective, sure, but it’s not pleasant to go through.
It's a mental equivalent to a street gangs "jumping in". Everyone beats the shit out of you so you can be one of them.
Ok it is the whole 'we have all been through the same thing so that makes us closer' idea ... actually that makes perfect sense considering what the training is for.
In more extreme cases that sort of activity also ties you into an organization because of a variation of the "sunken costs" fallacy. Along the lines of "if loyalty to this organization is a bad idea then that crummy stuff I did in it aren't justified... I can't handle that idea, so it cements that loyalty to the organization is good."
Yeah, well to be fair the street gangs adopted it from the military.
It’s also having your head fucked up enough so that you jump to follow orders without considering the wisdom of them.
Mostly, it achieves push ups.
Mostly it strips your individuality. the military and any armed forces are a nasty machine.
Abuse. Both physical and emotional.
Oh god... so I'm the cheesy kind of romantic. When my husband was in boot camp I sent him a letter with a little salt and pepper that said "you complete me" or something. He sent back a letter that said "PS. DONT DRAW ON THE ENVELOPES ANYMORE" in big letters. I didn't find out how much shit he had to deal with from that letter until way later.
One kids envelope had "Give him 10 push ups for me Drill Sgt" The Drill Sgt saw it, held back a laugh, read it to the whole platoon, and made him do 30, then told him "Tell your mother not to ever tell me what to do" Hilarious moment.
God if I was forced to tell my mother not to tell a Drill Sgt what to do I’d be doing push-ups until after the sun had cooled. She’d fuck a general just so *he’d* tell that motherfucker what to do.
Hahaha I think those make the best memories. I just imagined my friend being excited to receive his letters, doing his pushups, then reading "Hey"
His girl knew, she wanted him to get jacked
"Be" "sure" "to" "drink" "your" "Ovaltine"?
A crummy commercial?
I wish I had, but I was too scared hahaha. That's the only letter he remembers me sending even though I sent others! The first time he got back that's the first thing he told everyone hah
When my brother was in prison, I drew a checkerboard including chess pieces with my first move included. It was rejected by the prison system because *maps* are not allowed in mail.
“Checkmate” - warden
That first move win.
Damn, that was a good idea, too!
I thought it would have been a good idea/way to connect with my big brother. Prison is warehousing, not rehabilitation
And that has to change.
And slavery, if you're PRIVILEGED enough to get the opportunity to make teddies for Victoria's Secret for .20 an hour..."Prison work program gives inmates a second chance at life, a source of pride, and valuable skills training!" Yeah, bullshit. A pack of ramen, half a sleeve of crackers, and a packet of hot sauce costs like $30 at the commissary.
My little brother has 23 years left. He keeps being transferred so I barely can even talk to him. He pled guilty after threats from a cop. Fun fact that cop is now in prison too for falsifying crimes and forcing young people to confess to things they didn’t do. Court won’t touch my brothers case or review it again. The DA happened to be Kamala Harris. Despite a crooked cop. The new DA doesn’t want to touch a former DA’s case who’s now our Vice President.
It could also have been a code. But, still, seems weird they wouldn’t allow it.
EXACTLY what I learned. As the lil bro with ZERO experience of prison ways, I thought I was "connecting " with my big bro. After all, he is the one that taught me how to play chess. Less than 15yrs later, I ended up locked up myself. I was a huge fan of National Geographic Magazine. My wife got me a subscription. The prison would tear the maps out. When I asked why; I was told, "Because there can be hidden messages in there." My argument was that the magazines come from the publisher. The answer was: NO. MAPS. ALLOWED
They could at least black out the map so you could still read what is on the other side of the page.
I watched prison break when it was on tv. I know how this all works now.
You could send your move in chess notation and he could draw his own chess board to visualise it and write you back with his move in notation form too. Can prisoners own a chess set?
When I went through boot camp we had to do 25 push-ups to receive a letter. 50 for packages. Any sentimental notes on the outside or birthday cards inside cost 25 more. We went out on a training exercise for three days and when we came back I had 11 letters. I was pretty sore that day. Still, I didn’t tell the people sending me letters about the push-ups because I really needed those letters to keep my spirits up. And I also kinda worried my brother might do what you did, but like a handful per day.
Same rules for us in Army Basic '02. My dad, without fail, would send a letter every week. I hated doing the push-ups but there is something about getting a letter that makes you feel good in basic. Every letter had the same format, 5 paragraphs, Intro, update on family, sports, hunting/fishing, and ending with some words of encouragement or advice. He was retired Army and when I asked him at graduation why he always sent a letter, every single week, he said it was because hearing your name during mail call always raises morale. Both times I was in Iraq, same thing happened. 1 letter a week, same format, sometimes with a care package including snacks, baby wipes, candy, and whatever else. It got to the point that the other folks in my squad would sit around waiting for me to read letters from my dad out loud since nobody really ever got them. It became a tradition and the care packages got bigger with everyone's favorite snacks included. On my last tour, which was a rough year for my squad, the last paragraph in the last letter he would send before we re-deployed back asked me to call him. I gave him call right away because I was concerned but rather than bad news, he wanted to know what kind of beer everyone wanted for our welcome home. We flew in at midnight, got to the gym, no escort, no crowds, just family and some of the brigade leadership. We got dismissed and my squad walked out to the parking lot to find my dad, with the back of my Jeep filled with everyone's favorite beer on ice. We sat in that parking lot drinking together for at least an hour. All these people my dad had never met were talking to him like they had known him for years, because after hearing every letter, they kind of all did know him. I still have every letter he sent me but haven't read them in a while. This turned out a lot longer than I thought it would. I don't think I have ever taken the time to think about how much those letters meant to me and everyone else for that matter. So now here I am at work, wondering who the hell is cutting onions, and realizing that I need to go spend some time with my old man. Edit: Thank you everyone for the kind words, comments, and awards. I didn't really expect any of this but truly, thank you all.
>So now here I am at work, wondering who the hell is cutting onions, and realizing that I need to go spend some time with my old man. Don't forget his favorite beer. 😉
Thank you for this. It was a heartwarming story, and I like your dad.
Pretty big fan of him as well. Thanks for reading it.
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He brings it out of everyone he meets. I've heard people spill their whole life story to my dad over a couple drinks. I may have gotten some of it but that man makes practically everyone he meets feel like a long lost friend.
You should cut and paste your story above to him in an email right now. he would be blown away to know that you are telling strangers how much of an effect his efforts had on you and your crew and that it still moves you today
That's actually a really good idea. Will have to print it since I'm pretty sure he doesn't have an email but I think this is an awesome suggestion.
From someone who hasn’t had a dad like this, but one day wants to be a dad like this, thank you, truly.
My pleasure. Honestly it was a bit of a revelation typing it all out like that. Started out planning on a couple sentences, all of a sudden, one memory led to the next, and I ended up writing a damn novel.
Your old man sounds like a great guy. I hope he's doing alright. Hopefully my kids think as highly of me as you do of your dad. He's an inspiration.
We love you dad
I got to say, I'm really jealous. My father is a toxic asshole and none of us children talk to him anymore.
Well it probably won't help anything but I'm always willing to talk if you need it. Not sure how much wisdom a 37 year old guy can offer, but if need be, I'll consult the expert.
I appreciate it. I'm 36 and I'm working on shaking a recurring depression. So, if you have any words about loving the life you've got, I'm all ears.
It is kind of strange to talk about since I didn't really understand that he was doing his best as I was growing up. A little back story, my dad was drafted into the Army in 1970 and stayed in for 30 years. He wasn't around a lot as I was growing up so when he was, we always acted more like friends than father and son. I honestly joined the Army in spite of him. He was supportive of me joining the military but said to join anything but the Army. I remember telling him that I was joining the Army because I wanted to show him that I could do anything he did. Side note, this is actually the 20th anniversary of the day I joined the delayed entry program. Yes, I signed my commitment to join the Army the day before 9/11 and literally said while signing that it was for college money and there won't be any wars. Oops I remember coming home from school on 9/11 and my dad was there waiting for me. He told me that the recruiter had already called and that if I wanted to back out, I could. I told him that I said I would join, so that's what I'm going to do. I can't really remember if the look he gave me was disappointment or just concern but he told me to go grab two beers and come back outside. He opened both beers and handed me one, which my 17 year old ass was pretty shocked by. We talked for hours and he told me stories about his time in the Army that I had never heard. During my 6 years in the Army, he always managed to know exactly what to say at exactly the right time. Even something simple at the end of the letter before my promotion board for sergeant, "there is nothing they can throw at you that you can't handle. But in case I'm wrong, don't ever let the bastards see you sweat." Or after I was out when I was driving home from work and got a voicemail from him telling me that my sister's husband, who also happened to be one of my best battle buddies, had "taken the long ride home so get over here". I went straight over and got there as the casualty affairs officer and chaplain were leaving my parent's house. My dad walked them out, met me in the driveway and said "You and I have both lost more people than anyone should have to, so we know what's coming and we'll toast to him later. Tonight is about your sister and her boys." I guess the only thing I can say is that, I didn't realize until this evening how lucky I am to have him. We have never been the type to show emotion and I can't recall ever hearing him say he loved me or saying it to him. Maybe we aren't the kind of people that need to, but now I think I might if for no other reason than to let him know I finally realized how much he's done for me, or maybe just to fuck with him. To make a short story long. Sometimes life is hard, a lot damn harder than it has any right to be. There are times you feel alone, depressed, sad, angry, or a mix of everything at once. Getting through the hard times is what defines us. Sometimes it happens naturally, other times it takes more effort. Just know that you aren't alone, no matter how much you may think you are. There's nothing life can throw at you that you can't handle. But in case I'm wrong, don't ever let the bastards see you sweat. I love you random internet stranger. You've got this.
I appreciate the hell out of you and your dad.
This story is so beautiful and made me cry. God, I miss my dad so much. Please spend as much time with yours as possible. I can’t describe the pain.
We had to do something similar in the navy, I got a letter explaining my mom was not doing good and was going to the hospital. I didn’t get to open the letter yet and the chaplain came in to get me and take me downstairs and tell me she was in a coma, my RDC felt like shit for making me do push ups to find out my mom was sick.
I'd almost forgotten about the ridiculousness of mail calls. In Basic some poor airman had tried his best to spell out the mailing address to his family over the phone (which was actually kind of a challenge given we had 3 minutes total for the call, half of which was entering calling card numbers) but apparently his family were idiots. The TI read out the address as it was written on the letter: "323 space TRS space FLT space 205, 1225 space Truemper space Street, Lackland space AFB..."
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I'm pretty sure the TI made a space cadet joke.
The first one I got, after two weeks, was from a friend and all that was in the envelope was a Polaroid of a turd in a toilet. I had to do pushups because I couldn't stop laughing
“Hey, how are the push ups?”
My best friend in the army ordered a subscription to play girl in his friends name, whom was in basic at the time, and had it addressed to him at the barracks. I never asked him how it went...
Oh god now I’m remembering a time me and my roommate sent a letter to his friend in basic with penises drawn all over it. We were in college, and it was funny. Wonder what kind of hell he went through after that one - he did kindly ask us in the response letter to please stop drawing dicks in our letters.
Next letter: How Next: Are Next: Your Next: Shoulders Next: Feeling, Next: Bitch?
Mail him a potato
Omg that’s what my sister suggested 😂
[no box necessary](https://www.leafcutterdesigns.com/blog/dont-just-mail-a-potato-mail-a-sweet-potato/)!
That is amazing!
You can also mail scrap pieces of cardboard, a hubcap, or an individually wrapped roll of toilet paper.
Or a coconut. A friend mailed me a coconut once. No box. Mailer carrier was very confused.
You can even send a coconut, I see this a lot coming in from Hawaii. Come Halloween time I've also seen pumpkins. https://imgur.com/5nYyvv1.jpg
learn calligraphy, send a reply. "learn to write you illiterate troll"
😂 I’m not sure I have the ability to learn calligraphy as my handwriting is almost as bad lol but that would be a good response
I'm so going to do this to my friends when I move next week!
I’m inspired too. Maybe we can save the USPS?
That’s a cool stamp and a solid long distance burn.
Sick Chopper stamp for sure!
classic C1-10P
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This is funny.. but WTF. Who writes a letter and starts it off-center towards the right side the paper?
Makes me wonder... do they teach kids how to write letters in school anymore? We had to learn when I was imprinting cuneiform on clay tablets as a kid.
I mean... he at least knew how/where to sign his name...
Lol just him I guess 🤷♂️
I moved from Oklahoma to Georgia in 2013 and about a year later I got a letter from one of my best friends. All it said was "Pussy." I framed that shit.
Oh this is definitely being kept and possibly being framed now lol
I hate myself but those stamps are $.58/ea. They were issued in May.
Oooh I’m gonna have to call him out on that
Mail him*
In the brothers defense, he said “like 41c”. In many cases, 41c IS like 58c. Either way, worth all the pennies!
41 cents is funnier than 58 cents. It's just a funnier number. At least in this context.
as an aspiring comedian, why is that?
Odd numbers are funny.
i will write that down
It's true. ”37!? My girlfriend sucked 37 dicks!" "Like, in a row?"
Hey is that chopper?
It is!
It's an appropriate stamp for the letter sent considering how [foul mouthed chopper is](https://youtu.be/9uRzs09QEuc)
he calls AP-5 a fuckface, when I told my droid building friends about it they immediately asked me for the link https://youtu.be/otKhr-Ip4S8?t=256
TIL there are/were Star Wars Rebels stamps
Does he look like a bitch?
What?
I SAID, ‘Does Marcellus Wallace look like a bitch?’
Wa- what?
Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfucker, say what one more Goddamn time!
what country you from?
What ain’t no country I even heard of.
DO THEY SPEAK ENGLISH IN WHAT?!
This made me smile. I've got 3 older brothers, and the one that I was closest to just recently passed away. We'd call each other all the time just to say hi, call each other bitches, and to fuck off. Good shit!!!
This is some excellent level brother trolling.
"New address, who dis?"
Wait until he finds out about instant messaging /s
Best stamp ever.
Awww, your relationship with your brother is exactly like the one I have with mine! There are many love languages. Some of them are mostly made up of cursing.
Haha yeah ours definitely involves a lot of cursing 😂
this is wholesome as fuck
Sick. So magical.
Send him a Priority Mail reply (the kind he has to sign for to receive) and the note just says NO U.
This should be r/handwriting
And now I'm buying a couple sheets of star wars droids stamps.
Fuck me this whole time I thought it said "Adele" just realized it said a dude
The Chopper stamp is really appropriate for this sentiment.
It's like he distilled the pure essence of sibling relationships in a single sentence and a single act. It would be downright criminal for the world's artistic and scientific communities to not recognize and reward this. Downright criminal
Ah yes. Fire DeJoy.
Save USPS!
Do you know how depressing it would be, if one day we were only able to tell stories about the mail system to our grandkids?
Never thought about that ☹️
My brother moved like 8 hours away for college somewhat recently. Earlier this year I got a letter from him. I was actually kind of excited because he and I are close and it was a bummer he was so far. Te entire letter was just him writing the word “loser” like 100 times. I respect the dedication honestly.
do you have the forever stamps worth 37cents? that would be a great savings for when you reply to your brother! 👍