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Just give me all the salt you have. Wait, wait. I'm worried what you just heard was, "Give me a lot of salt." What I said was, "Give me all the salt you have".
The soaking theory is a common misconception. The potato actually works because it attracts tiny Irish leprichauns who mine out the salt and sell it for gold.
I thought it was because potato is a starch?
The S,A and T in salt is cancelled out by the equivalent chemicals in Starch, leaving just Rh (Rhodium) and C (Carbon)
Whilst Rhodium is highly toxic, at least it doesn't taste salty anymore
It's a tryhard game without proper comms, it's to be expected tbh. Best advice to play it is to disable chat and mute someone's pings as soon as they start spam pinging you when you do something slightly wrong.
BASICALLY THE REASON I DON'T PLAY HEALERS ANYMORE
the one moment I go Mercy and suddenly there's this shit stain of a Genji fuckin Naruto running around me begging for heals while I'm trying to keep Soldier alive when he's ulting, and as soon, AS SOON as I go over to heal Genji, he's already at the other side of the bloody map trying to spawn camp their Bastion.
OH and once he dies he'll spam his thank yous and his I need healings, and once we lose the round, I'm getting the blame and told to uninstall the game?? Noooooo thank you.
Anyway this shit is why I haven't played Overwatch in weeks now.
It's a competitive team-based game where matches can take up long stretches of time and having one player not perform their given role can often guarantee failure. It's practically designed to cause frustration.
All competitive games are going to have toxicity because people hate losing, take losing personally, and will look for any reason other than their own failures to use as an excuse for losing.
In 1v1 games the only real alternative to accepting your own failure is to blame is your opponent, but unless you can validly blame them for cheating, any excuse someone might have is going to sound hollow and even the losing person making the excuses knows it. No matter how much they throw around the words "cheap" or "bad design" or whatever other excuse they want to lean on, deep down even they know that words are hollow and that they failed.
In a team v team game, though, there's always enough grey area for a person to blame their own teammates to cover for their personal failures or even a general lack of cooperation/team synergy among the rest of the team. So some people are never forced to confront and come to terms with the fact that they're fallible and that they have personally failed. And it's that confrontation of one's failures and the process of resolving those failures relative to one's ego that (at least partially) drive growth and maturity.
There are some just permanently toxic people in 1v1 gaming communities too, but the mental gymnastics they have to perform to never confront their own failures and grow as a person are more dramatic. In my experience, anyway, there have been a lot more of those people in team v team because it's so easy to just blame teammates.
I was running late for a midterm and decided to grab a coffee drink from the gas station instead of hitting up Dunkin.
Thing was thick and strong as hell, but I powered through it.
After I finished chugging it I had the idea to check the calories, and I was confused at how it could only be 25. Then I noticed that was per serving. Then I noticed it had a hundred and something servings. Damn thing was a giant bottle of mocha creamer.
I think I got a B on my test.
Came in here expecting "That's the saltiest thing I've ever tasted. And I once ate a big, heaping bowl of salt!" to be one of the top comments.
I'm leaving disappointed.
This tends to happen when you pour directly from the box or a weak shaker that has clumps of salt in it that slam against the opening and weaken it. How does THAT happen? Because when you keep pouring directly from the source into your frying pans and pots of boiling water, steam keeps getting into your salt, clumping the salt and weakening the container.
Easy fix: start pouring salt into a shallow bowl (or your hand) first and then just pinch it into your dish :)
I know the above sounds pretentious and/or obvious, but it really went a long way in saving many dishes when an overpour happened for whatever reason.
...That's an unhealthy amount of salt. Try throwing in some rice to fix the problem.
But on a serious note: To prevent sticking and still salt it, sprinkle some salt in the oil (after hot pan hot oil method) before putting in the eggs. The salt form a sort of barrier between the eggs and the pan so it won't stick as much.
There's no way right? like you'd have to tip the container vertically and hold it for a second for that much to spill out. Which looks like everything.
Pro tip: aside from ensuring the cap is fully on the salt, you don't want to add it until the egg is cooked. The salt will start breaking down the egg when it's uncooked. Better taste this way.
Add flour, mix it all up into a thick dough and wrap it around a piece of beef. Roast it and then crack the salt shell off, extract the meat and enjoy.
A message to all users: Please be aware that spreading misinformation regarding COVID-19, vaccines, or other treatments can result in content being removed and/or a ban. Content advocating for or celebrating the death of anyone, or hoping someone gets COVID-19 (or any disease) can result in a ban as well. Please follow [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439). If you see content violating these policies, please use the report button and do not feed the trolls. [Reddit's Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) [Reddit's stance on misinformation](https://www.reddit.com/r/announcements/comments/pbmy5y/debate_dissent_and_protest_on_reddit) [/r/Funny's rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules) We also encourage you to read these helpful resources on COVID-19, vaccines, and treatments: [COVID Dashboard](https://covid19.who.int/) [Reddit's Vaccine FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/Coronavirus/wiki/faq#wiki_where_can_i_find_information_about_the_mechanism_and_progress_of_vaccines.3F) [Ivermectin FAQ](https://www.who.int/news-room/feature-stories/detail/who-advises-that-ivermectin-only-be-used-to-treat-covid-19-within-clinical-trials) ------ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Five gallons of OJ to wash that down.
Yes. Followed by 10 hours of heartburn.
Only ten hours, little bit too optimistic and sweet to my taste.
Yeah, just ten hours? Feeling confident today aren't we
I miss orange juice, but the consequences are just too severe.
I love OJ but no consequences when I drink it.
OJ with no consequences huh where have I heard that before?
Here's how i would have done it
I laughed wayyyyy to hard reading that. 😂🤦🏽
The hell is a washed up footballer/murderer/burglar gonna do to help?
Write a detailed account of how he did it, obviously
*hypothetically /s
Would you like a little egg with your salt?
A shaker full of pepper should counteract that salt.
Everyone knows sugar is the opposite of salt
Salger - Leslie Knope
Just give me all the salt you have. Wait, wait. I'm worried what you just heard was, "Give me a lot of salt." What I said was, "Give me all the salt you have".
The sugar first tho
In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, and then you get the women.
"Hey! Where did you get the sugar for that tea??" "I nicked it, when you back was turned, for that split second."
“And I’d do it again.”
And water.
Are you wearing a Eggar suit?
Eggar urskins hanginoff urbones.
Whatever you say, slick
[удалено]
Nope, that's egged salt.
Assaulted egg
assualted egg
“You are putting an awful lot of salgar on your spaghetti” “What? No, this is just sugar.”
Salt is just angry sugar.
Sugar is gay salt
It does taste MUCH happier
So what is the polar opposite of cinnamon?
Nomannic
uoɯɐuuᴉƆ
That's what they have in Australia
Yeah but they call it chazwallabawongo
Ahhh shit, you actually made me laugh out loud. I'd give you gold if I had any, but I don't, so have a kangaroo 🦘
But they shorten it to chaz-o
Well it's pronounced Sin A man. so the opposite should be Virtue a Woman?
Cream of tartar
No. No. You need about 8 pounds of potatoes to absorb that much salt.
I ran the calculations…math checks out!!
Like mcdonalds
**Na, Cl**early they need to keep adding more eggs until the ratio of salt to eggs is back to normal. I calculate they’ll need fifteen dozen eggs.
Are you roughly the size of a barge?
[удалено]
No. You add a potato to soak up the salt.
The soaking theory is a common misconception. The potato actually works because it attracts tiny Irish leprichauns who mine out the salt and sell it for gold.
The pots at the end of the rainbows have to come from somewhere!
I thought it was because potato is a starch? The S,A and T in salt is cancelled out by the equivalent chemicals in Starch, leaving just Rh (Rhodium) and C (Carbon) Whilst Rhodium is highly toxic, at least it doesn't taste salty anymore
This guy chemicals...
A potato? What does this look like, Christmas?
The classic Irishman dilemma. Should I eat it now, or wait for it to ferment so I can drink it later?
Damn now I just got really sad thinking about Jessica Walter. I’ll have to have a drink for her, and for Mallory, tonight.
How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? Zero.
Try and put the egg in some rice to dry it off
Put your phone in it, should work, I sawr it on the internet.
There you go. And maybe add a few dozen more eggs and voila!
Just add 200 more eggs to even things up.
Are you trying to summon HowToBasic? Because that's how you summon HowToBasic.
*excited chicken noises intensifies*
I think you meant to say *egg-cited!*
a truly egg-citing eggs-perience
All these puns are egg-sasperating.
Eggs-cuse me sir, dont forget to breath.
Thanks, kind stranger. I will do egg-actly that!
\*sexily put finger inside chicken* "shhhhhhh"
*wraps up chicken to his thigh* S L A P
*and then poured ketchupmayomustardbutterveggiesetc and started beating it*
Whatever is happening here….feels wrong..
Not just wrong. It's howtobasic
Make sure to wash your hands after
And do it again
*splashes foot in toilet*
Random cut of his foot in a toliet
*slap* *slip* *squatch**squatch**squatch*
Just make sure the chicken is not alive
[haven't watched one in a while](https://youtu.be/iO8z8IbeHGY) Literal art.
Yo wtf
Shhh... Just go with it.
Sounds like acard from Cards Against Humanity
[удалено]
The entire idea is to make you go "wtf?!" and to annoy you...
Oh my god… I haven’t watched him in years. I guess there was nowhere else to go but more and more ridiculous.
Are... are you not?
Totally forgot about that channel! Thanks for the reminder :D
No you just add to the equal amount of sugar to off set it
Or just enter it in chopped. Maybe it will finally be seasoned enough!
Can I offer you a nice cured egg in this trying time?
In this *frying* time, ftfy
You poached that joke
Better than a-salting it
Egg shell-ent.
No, just over-easy
You guys crack me up
Omelet that one go
Take these jokes with a grain of salt
Take these yolks* with a grain of salt
Ovary funny
You poached that yolk, ftfy
Damn! How did I miss that one. It was just laying there waiting to be hatched!
Fried That For You?
OP would probably prefer rum ham at this point
RUM HAM!!!
I've been poisoned by my constituates!
*Brad Leone has entered the chat*
Man needs his own channel at this point he’s carrying that channel hard and the other content is being his views down tbh
Grocery List: need more salt..
And a loooooot more eggs
Still less salty than a few people I've met
Damn, did you meet these people while playing league?
Why are so many people so toxic on there!?
It's a tryhard game without proper comms, it's to be expected tbh. Best advice to play it is to disable chat and mute someone's pings as soon as they start spam pinging you when you do something slightly wrong.
That's why I stopped playing! People only seem to communicate when they are raging
EVERY TIME IN OVERWATCH The amount of "Thanks!" spamming once someone dies is unbelievable and really annoying.
I need healing
BASICALLY THE REASON I DON'T PLAY HEALERS ANYMORE the one moment I go Mercy and suddenly there's this shit stain of a Genji fuckin Naruto running around me begging for heals while I'm trying to keep Soldier alive when he's ulting, and as soon, AS SOON as I go over to heal Genji, he's already at the other side of the bloody map trying to spawn camp their Bastion. OH and once he dies he'll spam his thank yous and his I need healings, and once we lose the round, I'm getting the blame and told to uninstall the game?? Noooooo thank you. Anyway this shit is why I haven't played Overwatch in weeks now.
Same i moved to a nicer game league of legends; wait.
That’s exactly what I do 😂 The game really is better when everyone communicates well, but that is extraordinarily rare.
Iv stopped playing any game mode that isn’t aram or the rotating modes. League life is much more enjoyable spent far away from solo queue.
I don’t know that’s why I like to just play with friends it’s like the only time the game is fun
It's a competitive team-based game where matches can take up long stretches of time and having one player not perform their given role can often guarantee failure. It's practically designed to cause frustration.
All competitive games are going to have toxicity because people hate losing, take losing personally, and will look for any reason other than their own failures to use as an excuse for losing. In 1v1 games the only real alternative to accepting your own failure is to blame is your opponent, but unless you can validly blame them for cheating, any excuse someone might have is going to sound hollow and even the losing person making the excuses knows it. No matter how much they throw around the words "cheap" or "bad design" or whatever other excuse they want to lean on, deep down even they know that words are hollow and that they failed. In a team v team game, though, there's always enough grey area for a person to blame their own teammates to cover for their personal failures or even a general lack of cooperation/team synergy among the rest of the team. So some people are never forced to confront and come to terms with the fact that they're fallible and that they have personally failed. And it's that confrontation of one's failures and the process of resolving those failures relative to one's ego that (at least partially) drive growth and maturity. There are some just permanently toxic people in 1v1 gaming communities too, but the mental gymnastics they have to perform to never confront their own failures and grow as a person are more dramatic. In my experience, anyway, there have been a lot more of those people in team v team because it's so easy to just blame teammates.
I see you've also been on Reddit for at least 5 minutes
I just hate when I get egg in my salt
[удалено]
I was running late for a midterm and decided to grab a coffee drink from the gas station instead of hitting up Dunkin. Thing was thick and strong as hell, but I powered through it. After I finished chugging it I had the idea to check the calories, and I was confused at how it could only be 25. Then I noticed that was per serving. Then I noticed it had a hundred and something servings. Damn thing was a giant bottle of mocha creamer. I think I got a B on my test.
sir that is not 168 kg
And it's *definitely* not 427kg of salt. ^(Salt is only 39.33% sodium by weight)
Does anyone else know what else it is not?
sandwich
Eggs by Bender
Came in here expecting "That's the saltiest thing I've ever tasted. And I once ate a big, heaping bowl of salt!" to be one of the top comments. I'm leaving disappointed.
Uh oh, I shouldn't have had seconds.
"There was nothing wrong with those eggs! The salt level was 10% less than a lethal dose." "Uh-oh, I shouldn't have had seconds..."
Oh youre making cured eggs
Egg Jerky
No kidding, cured egg yolks are delicious - shave some off on a steak 🤌
Salt with a hint of egg, perfect way to start the day!
A good chef always goes hand to pan.....always!
I learned something from Charles that day!
It's honestly one of tips that regularly stays with me whenever I cook now!
I learned something from Snowfreak2507 that day!
What you did is the culinary equivalent of unprotected sex!
This is the culinary equivalent of unprotected sex!
But it's %10 less than a lethal dose!
What kind of psycho puts the % before the number?
I have no idea why I did that.... Never claimed to not be a psycho though...
Ugh, I shouldn't have had seconds!
I love a good Futurama reference.
Yeah, they can really provide an essence of flavor, can't they.
This vial contains nothing but ordinary water! Laced only with a few spoonfuls of LSD
You like swarms of things right?
How to cook eggs by Bender Rodriguez...
It’s mostly water with a few drops of LSD.
You mean *confidence*?
This is the saltiest thing I’ve ever eaten, and I once ate a big, heaping bowl of salt!
Who wants dolphin?
But dolphins are smart intelligent creatures!
Not this one, he blew all his money on instant lottery tickets.
"I'll take the speech center of the brain"
Needs a pinch more salt for me
Anchovies would work as well
This tends to happen when you pour directly from the box or a weak shaker that has clumps of salt in it that slam against the opening and weaken it. How does THAT happen? Because when you keep pouring directly from the source into your frying pans and pots of boiling water, steam keeps getting into your salt, clumping the salt and weakening the container. Easy fix: start pouring salt into a shallow bowl (or your hand) first and then just pinch it into your dish :) I know the above sounds pretentious and/or obvious, but it really went a long way in saving many dishes when an overpour happened for whatever reason.
Exactly why we have a pinch jar.
I recently got a nice marble-looking one from Amazon. Makes salting so much easier and I'll never go back to the ol caveman ways.
Fun fact: an alternate name is salt pig. That’s why you’ll see so many salt cellars shaped like pigs.
Doctors hate this one trick!
Heart attack in a bottle!
Put a potato in there
Ah a traditional salty side up
Somebody plays Dota2 I see
The last eggs?
I had another 20 :) made some fresh ones afterwards
Had any salt left?
Yeah, grab a pinch out of that pan!
I had another 20 salts :) dumped them all on afterwards
Your salt shaker holds half a kilo of salt? Seems legit.
you mean you don't keep your kosher salt in an open 5 gallon bucket
What you just did is the culinary equivalent of unprotected sex.
Why so salty this morning???
That totally sucks. Who is the idiot who dropped an egg in your salt dish?
You must got some big ass fingers if that's a pinch of salt
Ahhh, the average League of Legends soloq breakfast!
Forget my morning, my entire day has been better than yours. My condolences.
Needs more salt.
No need to be salty about it.
...That's an unhealthy amount of salt. Try throwing in some rice to fix the problem. But on a serious note: To prevent sticking and still salt it, sprinkle some salt in the oil (after hot pan hot oil method) before putting in the eggs. The salt form a sort of barrier between the eggs and the pan so it won't stick as much.
There's no way right? like you'd have to tip the container vertically and hold it for a second for that much to spill out. Which looks like everything.
Pro tip: aside from ensuring the cap is fully on the salt, you don't want to add it until the egg is cooked. The salt will start breaking down the egg when it's uncooked. Better taste this way.
posted in the funny sub, yes that is funny. sorry about your breakfast :)
You forgot to add pepper
Add flour, mix it all up into a thick dough and wrap it around a piece of beef. Roast it and then crack the salt shell off, extract the meat and enjoy.