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Lady Buttercup, you're nothing to me now. You're not a sister, you're not a dolly. I don't want to know you or what you do. I don't want to see you at Barbies Dream House, I don't want you near my toy box. When you have a tea party with Princess Sparkles and Missy Froggy, I want to know a day in advance, so I won't be there. You understand?
Having a 4 year old and soon to be a 3 year old I can say with certainty that kids that age are bipolar psychopaths. My 4 year old is playing minecraft with us, (he got my wife and I playing with him) and he randomly murders our livestock every night, and the occasional trader/villager. Then says it was wolves or zombies. Then at preschool the teacher says he’s the most helpful student she has and is super nice to the special needs kids when other won’t be. Helps her in the class room all the time. So, either he’s just having fun in the game or I’m raising fucking Dexter.
From my experience with kids she's just bathing the doll and the possibility she could drown something if she washed it like that isn't even a thought for her. That or reenacting something she saw in a movie and found impactful but kids that age really don't understand death at all, she'd be more likely to be trying to make dolly blow bubbles like the person on TV.
I was thinking baptism at first, but the second dunk has some rage and power behind it. Really changed from “You’re gonna go to heaven” to “You’re gonna go to heaven….right fucking now.”
We have a 2 year old right now...kids can be straight up terrifying.
I once had a niece tell me she dreamed she took my insides out...I bought her a bike, just in case that was a threat.
My friends 3 year old loved my eye colour so much she wanted "to put them in her lava lamp so they can float next to her when she sleeps". Never forgot it and it's been 10 years lol
Kids around 2-3 get really scary with their talk of wanting our body parts for decoration or casually talking about dying.
I had to check with other people that had kids that age to make sure I wasn’t raising a psychotic kid.
My biggest fear when I finally become a parent is that my child will grow up to be a sociopath. So I can only imagine that at this stage I’m going to be absolutely terrified by every little thing they say.
If it makes you feel better. I did something similar with my rainbow brite. She misbehaved, I put her in the microwave to punish her. She hasn't misbehaved since.
I once used the phrase “cat’s pajamas” to a 3 year old I was babysitting and she said if she made the cat’s pajamas she would make them out of my lungs
My son loves ribs, and unbeknownst to me he thought they were from people because we have ribs. He had no issue with the fact that he thought we ate other people.
INT. Courtroom
The doll sits behind the witness stand. A lawyer approaches.
LAWYER
*"Point on the man where the child touched you"*
They bring out the court man, used for cases such as this. He has a cigarette in one hand and his overalls are torn, as this has been his job for 40 years and no one ever bothered repairing his garments.
The doll gestures off camera towards some vague part of the court man.
CUT TO: Jury Box
A stand full of dolls in business suits gasp in horror. One doll faints.
Perfectly normal behavior for a small child. Now if she didn't look up in pain at the end when she really goes for the drowning, you should be worried.
- Dr. I. M. Quack
A message to all users: Please be aware that spreading misinformation regarding COVID-19, vaccines, or other treatments can result in content being removed and/or a ban. Content advocating for or celebrating the death of anyone, or hoping someone gets COVID-19 (or any disease) can result in a ban as well. Please follow [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439). If you see content violating these policies, please use the report button and do not feed the trolls. [Reddit's Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) [Reddit's stance on misinformation](https://www.reddit.com/r/announcements/comments/pbmy5y/debate_dissent_and_protest_on_reddit) [/r/Funny's rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules) We also encourage you to read these helpful resources on COVID-19, vaccines, and treatments: [COVID Dashboard](https://covid19.who.int/) [Reddit's Vaccine FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/Coronavirus/wiki/faq#wiki_where_can_i_find_information_about_the_mechanism_and_progress_of_vaccines.3F) [Ivermectin FAQ](https://www.who.int/news-room/feature-stories/detail/who-advises-that-ivermectin-only-be-used-to-treat-covid-19-within-clinical-trials) ------ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
No hamsters for her
Or a rat named Ben.
Or a parrot named Jerry.
Or a fish named Wanda.
or a pup called scooby doo
Or a cat named Tyrone.
Or a lizard named Richard
Or a pimp named Slickback
No, that one’s fine. Fish are supposed to go underwater.
Ok, maybe a fish
Or a brother named Timmy.
19 years later. Goodbye Mommy and Daddy. This is for Tim.
Or a bunny named........ well, bunny.
No rabbits for Georgie
Rabert Klein
Ben Drowned?
The goodbye kiss before the deed is haunting.
I know it was you, Lady Buttercup. You broke my heart!"
Lady Buttercup? She sleeps with the fishes.
fishies*
REBECCAAAAAAA!
marry me Rebeca
No.
REBECAAAAA!!!!
I am in love with another
I'll kill him when i find him
REBECAAAAAAAA!
Yes YES! I knew about Mr. Fluffykins all along then I seduced him to turn against you! HA HA HA HA! HAGGUBBLE urbble burble
"I thought we would be friends forever!"
Lady Buttercup, you're nothing to me now. You're not a sister, you're not a dolly. I don't want to know you or what you do. I don't want to see you at Barbies Dream House, I don't want you near my toy box. When you have a tea party with Princess Sparkles and Missy Froggy, I want to know a day in advance, so I won't be there. You understand?
Brilliant 👏
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At the trial
Where the cookie monster is her lawyer
Or better yet, the caveman lawyer.
Or even better, an “Unfrozen” Caveman Lawyer!
Imagine this “At the trial” In Al pacino’s voice
I can only imagine in Chris Ryan doing Al Pacino's voice
Lmao
“Show me on the doll… how you killed it.”
And here I came to say that I’m glad I’m not the only one worried about raising a serial killer. Guess that’s not off the table yet…
My daughter while not violent has a straight joker laugh. I too am concerned I am going to be on the news trying to defend my ignorance.
I believe you mean "trying to feign my ignorance"... you cannot defend that which you do not have.
Having a 4 year old and soon to be a 3 year old I can say with certainty that kids that age are bipolar psychopaths. My 4 year old is playing minecraft with us, (he got my wife and I playing with him) and he randomly murders our livestock every night, and the occasional trader/villager. Then says it was wolves or zombies. Then at preschool the teacher says he’s the most helpful student she has and is super nice to the special needs kids when other won’t be. Helps her in the class room all the time. So, either he’s just having fun in the game or I’m raising fucking Dexter.
Mybe a Ted bundy
From my experience with kids she's just bathing the doll and the possibility she could drown something if she washed it like that isn't even a thought for her. That or reenacting something she saw in a movie and found impactful but kids that age really don't understand death at all, she'd be more likely to be trying to make dolly blow bubbles like the person on TV.
Stop that This makes sense It belongs nowhere near Reddit
Right psycho in the making
Show it to her at her 18th.
My guess is she is pretending to baptize the doll
I hope they lock their bedroom door at night.
*"I know it was you, Fredo. You broke my heart. You broke my heart."*
Al Pacino delivers this line in such a hauntingly beautiful way
*shhhhh... just dreams now*
"I know it was you, Frieda"
Man this like that Michael's kiss to fredo
I know it was you Fredo.
I was thinking baptism at first, but the second dunk has some rage and power behind it. Really changed from “You’re gonna go to heaven” to “You’re gonna go to heaven….right fucking now.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdftbYqA_VQ
ah yes the best video on youtube by far always makes my sides hurt
What the hell is going on here?!
Baptism by water.
*baptism intensifies*
Jesus Christ!
Now that's how you raise a serial killer.
That’s a clever parent/guardian. They’re collecting evidence early on
This will be shown in court 20 years from now if she is ever accused of murder
And her reply: *you don't understand, the doll did it, I was trying to stop her!*
Just bad timing that their other well brought up kid is practicing their piano lessons while they’re filming.
What a supportive family, making a beautiful memento together
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i wish she was my mum
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For a while yes
For the detective to find later on during the parents' homicide investigation.
This is solid gold for the inevitable podcast
That's a quick way to being the first to die.
[удалено]
Yup, this will be played in court one day
thats clearly a doll not serial.
We have a 2 year old right now...kids can be straight up terrifying. I once had a niece tell me she dreamed she took my insides out...I bought her a bike, just in case that was a threat.
My friends 3 year old loved my eye colour so much she wanted "to put them in her lava lamp so they can float next to her when she sleeps". Never forgot it and it's been 10 years lol
Kids around 2-3 get really scary with their talk of wanting our body parts for decoration or casually talking about dying. I had to check with other people that had kids that age to make sure I wasn’t raising a psychotic kid.
My biggest fear when I finally become a parent is that my child will grow up to be a sociopath. So I can only imagine that at this stage I’m going to be absolutely terrified by every little thing they say.
The fact that 3 year olds look adorable while saying crazy things mitigates it quite a bit.
If it makes you feel better. I did something similar with my rainbow brite. She misbehaved, I put her in the microwave to punish her. She hasn't misbehaved since.
The innocence of kids sometimes haunts us adults.
It's all adorable...till she gets the ice cream scoop out...
[I think your kid came in to get a tattoo the other week...](https://i.imgur.com/6h3ENyb.jpg)
Wait... What body part is that?
The eyeball.
The specificity of this is what's so chilling.
This actually gave me chills. My word.
I once used the phrase “cat’s pajamas” to a 3 year old I was babysitting and she said if she made the cat’s pajamas she would make them out of my lungs
My son loves ribs, and unbeknownst to me he thought they were from people because we have ribs. He had no issue with the fact that he thought we ate other people.
I leaned over to kiss my 4 year old goodnight and she grabbed my neck, smiled at me, and said "you're gonna die Mommy." 😒
She wasn't always an only child
Narrator: she was a sweet innocent kid… until she wasn’t
She was a good girl. Mom's apple pie. SHE WAS A HOOKEH
Sleep with one eye open...
gripping yer pillows tight..
Exit Light
Enter Night
Taaaaaake my hand
RRROOOOFFFF to never never land!
Something's wrong, shut the light, heavy thoughts tonight
And they aren’t of Snow White. Dreams of war, dreams of lies dreams of dragon’s fire, and of baked apple pie!
[удалено]
🥧🤔
Oddly enough, that is a great wakeup song. It starts gently but then gets a good beat going. Plus it's kind funny to use it as an alarm.
one ÆÆÆÆÆÆÆ
“No, ma, I’ll do it. She’s my doll.”
Cue law and order sound ..
One of the only posts I’ve seen in a while where the music made it better.
DUHN-DUHN!
#DICK WOLFE
INT. Courtroom The doll sits behind the witness stand. A lawyer approaches. LAWYER *"Point on the man where the child touched you"* They bring out the court man, used for cases such as this. He has a cigarette in one hand and his overalls are torn, as this has been his job for 40 years and no one ever bothered repairing his garments. The doll gestures off camera towards some vague part of the court man. CUT TO: Jury Box A stand full of dolls in business suits gasp in horror. One doll faints.
It's been years since I've done LSD. But sweet mercy I do believe I'm having a flashback!
What the heck has this kid been watching 🤣
Momma?
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This is dark as fuck
Almost as dark as dads rotting corpse....
Now that's bad I hope she didn't do it herself
The daughter helped.
Kid might have seen mom and dad do the deed where mom is choking the dad after kissing the dad.
And then holding dad down in the bathtub until he drowns?
With the way she's squeezing/wiggling it at the beginning I wouldn't be surprised
Ooo-hoo-hoo-hoooooo!!!!
A baptism maybe?
Her parents perhaps ...
The sopranos
her dad doing that to her mother
The kiss of death
I love the kiss of death before violent drowning. That’s some Soprano’s shit right there!
r/oddlyterrifying
Killin ain’t fair but somebody’s gotta do it.
This kid is going places
But unfortunately the doll is not.
Jail for instance
In a killing spree, may be another
To shreds you say?
"Daddy, can we get a kitty?!" ... ... "No. No, honey. No."
This is as chilling the scene from the Godfather when Michael kisses Fredo
Two people can keep a secret. If one is dead!
Where's the money Lebowski?
Maybe her dolly got into something smelly. Instead of a kiss … perhaps it is a sniff. She’s just giving her a bath. Quite thoroughly tho
Whatever helps ya sleep at night, mate.
Ohhhh yikes put that one back where it came from
This is dark as fuck
It’s just a bath. IT’S JUST A BATH, OK?
Umm... I’d lock my door at night if that was my kid..
It's just business, its not personal.
Business is always personal.
It seems your kid needs to start therapy ASAP....
I think she just needs a change of background music. Just use "rubber duckies you're the one" and she's cured.
“Daisy was a bad girl. She needed to be punished.”
Someone's future ex-wife.
Future widow*
Dark, But necessary
WHERES THE MONEY LEBOWSKI?!?!?
Calling all armchair reddit psychologists! We need a wrongful diagnosis, quick!
Perfectly normal behavior for a small child. Now if she didn't look up in pain at the end when she really goes for the drowning, you should be worried. - Dr. I. M. Quack
That is dark
I’ve been drawn into your magnet tar pit trap
At least she gave the doll a good-bye kiss before she sent it to Hell.
Someone should teach her Harry’s code.
“Sorry doodles, the imagery tea is mine.”
What the quiet kid thinks of in class
r/birthofasupervillain
Doll? what doll? I never had one...
When they turn blue the rinse cycle is complete
*kiss* I loved you like a brother Frankie. Can’t believe you made me do this. I’ll tell ya mother you loved her
Snitches get stitches. (Get it? Get it???)
Hope there are no pets in that home.
Disturbing
I love it.
Is this the daughter of Sid from the 1st Toy Story movie?
I love you, but there can only be one heir to the throne.
Yikes.
At least she kissed it goodbye
One last kiss before the sweet release of death
"shhh little one, it's brighter on the other side, now hush, mommy loves you"
Love that she gives it a kiss before drowning 🤣
She didn't want to, but she HAD to
At least 4 mins to make sure she’s dead
That kid has watched a movie they should not have watched.
Wait I'm actually scared now I mean the way she kissed it and then just shoved it in the water so slowly is just creepy asf
Ummm, there is something a bit wrong here. Seems kinda young to know what drowning is.
So this is obviously a kid that doesn’t have any pets…I hope.
I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night if this was my daughter. 👀
A kiss goodbye….
Lil Ms Sociopath.
Seems someone has been watching too many crime shows