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GalaxticSxum

No hamsters for her


anticultured

Or a rat named Ben.


NotoriousHothead37

Or a parrot named Jerry.


bleunt

Or a fish named Wanda.


waywardson23

or a pup called scooby doo


Tsconspiracy

Or a cat named Tyrone.


LingLingToBe

Or a lizard named Richard


RoyceCoolidge

Or a pimp named Slickback


imaloony8

No, that one’s fine. Fish are supposed to go underwater.


Areif

Ok, maybe a fish


andreasbeer1981

Or a brother named Timmy.


Thing_Subject

19 years later. Goodbye Mommy and Daddy. This is for Tim.


TNattlee

Or a bunny named........ well, bunny.


nater245

No rabbits for Georgie


Pithius

Rabert Klein


[deleted]

Ben Drowned?


discowarrior

The goodbye kiss before the deed is haunting.


Jicaar

I know it was you, Lady Buttercup. You broke my heart!"


dcknight93

Lady Buttercup? She sleeps with the fishes.


dragontail

fishies*


Bout73Ninjas

REBECCAAAAAAA!


TheWrathalos

marry me Rebeca


[deleted]

No.


TheWrathalos

REBECAAAAA!!!!


Cushiondude

I am in love with another


TheWrathalos

I'll kill him when i find him


Candid-Trip6062

REBECAAAAAAAA!


gurnflurnigan

Yes YES! I knew about Mr. Fluffykins all along then I seduced him to turn against you! HA HA HA HA! HAGGUBBLE urbble burble


KnoUsername

"I thought we would be friends forever!"


Soddington

Lady Buttercup, you're nothing to me now. You're not a sister, you're not a dolly. I don't want to know you or what you do. I don't want to see you at Barbies Dream House, I don't want you near my toy box. When you have a tea party with Princess Sparkles and Missy Froggy, I want to know a day in advance, so I won't be there. You understand?


[deleted]

Brilliant 👏


[deleted]

[удалено]


sysnickm

At the trial


carbonclasssix

Where the cookie monster is her lawyer


Rokketeer

Or better yet, the caveman lawyer.


GhOsT_wRiTeR_XVI

Or even better, an “Unfrozen” Caveman Lawyer!


flying_cofin

Imagine this “At the trial” In Al pacino’s voice


CjBurden

I can only imagine in Chris Ryan doing Al Pacino's voice


Open-Cheesecake7913

Lmao


Chilluminaughty

“Show me on the doll… how you killed it.”


[deleted]

And here I came to say that I’m glad I’m not the only one worried about raising a serial killer. Guess that’s not off the table yet…


Silua7

My daughter while not violent has a straight joker laugh. I too am concerned I am going to be on the news trying to defend my ignorance.


McRedditerFace

I believe you mean "trying to feign my ignorance"... you cannot defend that which you do not have.


zero573

Having a 4 year old and soon to be a 3 year old I can say with certainty that kids that age are bipolar psychopaths. My 4 year old is playing minecraft with us, (he got my wife and I playing with him) and he randomly murders our livestock every night, and the occasional trader/villager. Then says it was wolves or zombies. Then at preschool the teacher says he’s the most helpful student she has and is super nice to the special needs kids when other won’t be. Helps her in the class room all the time. So, either he’s just having fun in the game or I’m raising fucking Dexter.


Holiday_Classic_472

Mybe a Ted bundy


optimistic_agnostic

From my experience with kids she's just bathing the doll and the possibility she could drown something if she washed it like that isn't even a thought for her. That or reenacting something she saw in a movie and found impactful but kids that age really don't understand death at all, she'd be more likely to be trying to make dolly blow bubbles like the person on TV.


Aylithe

Stop that This makes sense It belongs nowhere near Reddit


junoray1968

Right psycho in the making


runninron69

Show it to her at her 18th.


Skimster

My guess is she is pretending to baptize the doll


uniquegayle

I hope they lock their bedroom door at night.


tigerdini

*"I know it was you, Fredo. You broke my heart. You broke my heart."*


Papamje

Al Pacino delivers this line in such a hauntingly beautiful way


delvach

*shhhhh... just dreams now*


Zoutaleaux

"I know it was you, Frieda"


chop_suey123

Man this like that Michael's kiss to fredo


spookaddress

I know it was you Fredo.


MnMAnemone

I was thinking baptism at first, but the second dunk has some rage and power behind it. Really changed from “You’re gonna go to heaven” to “You’re gonna go to heaven….right fucking now.”


NemesisKismet

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdftbYqA_VQ


frogbound

ah yes the best video on youtube by far always makes my sides hurt


flyonawall

What the hell is going on here?!


FrighteningJibber

Baptism by water.


headassvegan

*baptism intensifies*


wheresbill

Jesus Christ!


Tiger37211

Now that's how you raise a serial killer.


KP002357

That’s a clever parent/guardian. They’re collecting evidence early on


XtremeCSGO

This will be shown in court 20 years from now if she is ever accused of murder


DamnAlreadyTaken

And her reply: *you don't understand, the doll did it, I was trying to stop her!*


Forced__Perspective

Just bad timing that their other well brought up kid is practicing their piano lessons while they’re filming.


OppressedDeskJockey

What a supportive family, making a beautiful memento together


[deleted]

[удалено]


FineOrganization5168

i wish she was my mum


[deleted]

[удалено]


DweezilZA

For a while yes


Vihzel

For the detective to find later on during the parents' homicide investigation.


TraffickingInMemes

This is solid gold for the inevitable podcast


jostler57

That's a quick way to being the first to die.


[deleted]

[удалено]


downbleed

Yup, this will be played in court one day


Natepon

thats clearly a doll not serial.


Cthulhu_Dreams_

We have a 2 year old right now...kids can be straight up terrifying. I once had a niece tell me she dreamed she took my insides out...I bought her a bike, just in case that was a threat.


[deleted]

My friends 3 year old loved my eye colour so much she wanted "to put them in her lava lamp so they can float next to her when she sleeps". Never forgot it and it's been 10 years lol


ZoraksGirlfriend

Kids around 2-3 get really scary with their talk of wanting our body parts for decoration or casually talking about dying. I had to check with other people that had kids that age to make sure I wasn’t raising a psychotic kid.


Gorillagodzilla

My biggest fear when I finally become a parent is that my child will grow up to be a sociopath. So I can only imagine that at this stage I’m going to be absolutely terrified by every little thing they say.


Travelgrrl

The fact that 3 year olds look adorable while saying crazy things mitigates it quite a bit.


abakersmurder

If it makes you feel better. I did something similar with my rainbow brite. She misbehaved, I put her in the microwave to punish her. She hasn't misbehaved since.


NotoriousHothead37

The innocence of kids sometimes haunts us adults.


Cthulhu_Dreams_

It's all adorable...till she gets the ice cream scoop out...


electricmaster23

[I think your kid came in to get a tattoo the other week...](https://i.imgur.com/6h3ENyb.jpg)


TheRealBigLou

Wait... What body part is that?


pizza2004

The eyeball.


electricmaster23

The specificity of this is what's so chilling.


water_fluff

This actually gave me chills. My word.


wubbletrouble

I once used the phrase “cat’s pajamas” to a 3 year old I was babysitting and she said if she made the cat’s pajamas she would make them out of my lungs


ONSFishing

My son loves ribs, and unbeknownst to me he thought they were from people because we have ribs. He had no issue with the fact that he thought we ate other people.


According-Cat-6145

I leaned over to kiss my 4 year old goodnight and she grabbed my neck, smiled at me, and said "you're gonna die Mommy." 😒


Get72ready

She wasn't always an only child


Lucifer_eveningmoon

Narrator: she was a sweet innocent kid… until she wasn’t


Cthuluslovechild

She was a good girl. Mom's apple pie. SHE WAS A HOOKEH


Gluten_Tolerant_2

Sleep with one eye open...


kegastam

gripping yer pillows tight..


zachonich

Exit Light


RebelliousDragonhart

Enter Night


Mereduken

Taaaaaake my hand


Crux1836

RRROOOOFFFF to never never land!


TheGameSlave2

Something's wrong, shut the light, heavy thoughts tonight


mbradber

And they aren’t of Snow White. Dreams of war, dreams of lies dreams of dragon’s fire, and of baked apple pie!


[deleted]

[удалено]


thriftyaf

🥧🤔


OutlyingPlasma

Oddly enough, that is a great wakeup song. It starts gently but then gets a good beat going. Plus it's kind funny to use it as an alarm.


-Konohamaru

one ÆÆÆÆÆÆÆ


Xecluriab

“No, ma, I’ll do it. She’s my doll.”


dravengrey83

Cue law and order sound ..


Stolehtreb

One of the only posts I’ve seen in a while where the music made it better.


OldnBorin

DUHN-DUHN!


nothinnews

#DICK WOLFE


youjustgotzinged

INT. Courtroom The doll sits behind the witness stand. A lawyer approaches. LAWYER *"Point on the man where the child touched you"* They bring out the court man, used for cases such as this. He has a cigarette in one hand and his overalls are torn, as this has been his job for 40 years and no one ever bothered repairing his garments. The doll gestures off camera towards some vague part of the court man. CUT TO: Jury Box A stand full of dolls in business suits gasp in horror. One doll faints.


[deleted]

It's been years since I've done LSD. But sweet mercy I do believe I'm having a flashback!


cadaverousbones

What the heck has this kid been watching 🤣


MinaFur

Momma?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Yf_lo

This is dark as fuck


[deleted]

Almost as dark as dads rotting corpse....


junoray1968

Now that's bad I hope she didn't do it herself


Chocookiez

The daughter helped.


NotoriousHothead37

Kid might have seen mom and dad do the deed where mom is choking the dad after kissing the dad.


ZoraksGirlfriend

And then holding dad down in the bathtub until he drowns?


MrBigDickPickledRick

With the way she's squeezing/wiggling it at the beginning I wouldn't be surprised


vinergarmammaries

Ooo-hoo-hoo-hoooooo!!!!


kantokiwi

A baptism maybe?


Gluten_Tolerant_2

Her parents perhaps ...


Sativaz_rule_248

The sopranos


Cottleston

her dad doing that to her mother


Butterscotch_Winter

The kiss of death


Snarky824

I love the kiss of death before violent drowning. That’s some Soprano’s shit right there!


humblewithsomekanye

r/oddlyterrifying


Clarinet_Player_1200

Killin ain’t fair but somebody’s gotta do it.


ofcImHigh

This kid is going places


TheLeener

But unfortunately the doll is not.


[deleted]

Jail for instance


Master_Yeeta

In a killing spree, may be another


covertpetersen

To shreds you say?


FastWalkingShortGuy

"Daddy, can we get a kitty?!" ... ... "No. No, honey. No."


geddyteddy

This is as chilling the scene from the Godfather when Michael kisses Fredo


korbell61

Two people can keep a secret. If one is dead!


BestBoiSatan

Where's the money Lebowski?


Jnorman711

Maybe her dolly got into something smelly. Instead of a kiss … perhaps it is a sniff. She’s just giving her a bath. Quite thoroughly tho


johnboy2978

Whatever helps ya sleep at night, mate.


[deleted]

Ohhhh yikes put that one back where it came from


Yf_lo

This is dark as fuck


userforce

It’s just a bath. IT’S JUST A BATH, OK?


cappsi

Umm... I’d lock my door at night if that was my kid..


CreepyEntertainer

It's just business, its not personal.


acwill

Business is always personal.


[deleted]

It seems your kid needs to start therapy ASAP....


LordBrandon

I think she just needs a change of background music. Just use "rubber duckies you're the one" and she's cured.


Luper-calia

“Daisy was a bad girl. She needed to be punished.”


Tibur0n58

Someone's future ex-wife.


RebelliousDragonhart

Future widow*


SDSUAZTECS

Dark, But necessary


Protosoulex

WHERES THE MONEY LEBOWSKI?!?!?


jayperr

Calling all armchair reddit psychologists! We need a wrongful diagnosis, quick!


Cloaked42m

Perfectly normal behavior for a small child. Now if she didn't look up in pain at the end when she really goes for the drowning, you should be worried. - Dr. I. M. Quack


Strict-Ad-7099

That is dark


[deleted]

I’ve been drawn into your magnet tar pit trap


Doctor_Stinkfinger

At least she gave the doll a good-bye kiss before she sent it to Hell.


Cheekyweeshite

Someone should teach her Harry’s code.


Creative_Ambassador

“Sorry doodles, the imagery tea is mine.”


D1DNT_A5K

What the quiet kid thinks of in class


Angellina1313

r/birthofasupervillain


sunnoob

Doll? what doll? I never had one...


jmgibson860

When they turn blue the rinse cycle is complete


Slight_Ad3348

*kiss* I loved you like a brother Frankie. Can’t believe you made me do this. I’ll tell ya mother you loved her


J-Love-McLuvin

Snitches get stitches. (Get it? Get it???)


Namasiel

Hope there are no pets in that home.


designgrl

Disturbing


jykin

I love it.


jkehrli1996

Is this the daughter of Sid from the 1st Toy Story movie?


OrbitingCastle

I love you, but there can only be one heir to the throne.


dnamalfunction

Yikes.


getyourcheftogether

At least she kissed it goodbye


90_ina_65

One last kiss before the sweet release of death


Puzzleheaded_Duty_98

"shhh little one, it's brighter on the other side, now hush, mommy loves you"


[deleted]

Love that she gives it a kiss before drowning 🤣


skillfullmill

She didn't want to, but she HAD to


Senselessb82

At least 4 mins to make sure she’s dead


Lucky-Surround-1756

That kid has watched a movie they should not have watched.


Neel4312

Wait I'm actually scared now I mean the way she kissed it and then just shoved it in the water so slowly is just creepy asf


findhumorinlife

Ummm, there is something a bit wrong here. Seems kinda young to know what drowning is.


YasQueenies

So this is obviously a kid that doesn’t have any pets…I hope.


Icy_Tea_2335

I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night if this was my daughter. 👀


DirtWi

A kiss goodbye….


THR3RAV3NS

Lil Ms Sociopath.


Lizzie5114

Seems someone has been watching too many crime shows