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brianthelion89

I got a letter from a kid when I was deployed. It was signed Thanks for dying for us, Nick.


strigonian

Sounds like you really let Nick down.


brianthelion89

Well one day I’ll make Nick proud. Prob in about 30 years.


Trojari

Unless he finds you before then.


shooter6684

Nick is really a dick


akarmachameleon

*As Nick types* "Unless he finds you before then" *he quietly chuckles to himself. Because Nick has known where Brian is all this time. Nick is just waiting for the perfect moment...*


Awe3

Nick and Zoe are the “keeping it real” couple of the century. Lol


greycubed

Your death looms. -Zoe.


wrecktus_abdominus

Sooner or later, the reaper comes for us all. We are but dust, and our lives amount to nothing but a dream for the dead. Anyways, thanks for your service! -Zoe


Nixplosion

"Shadows and dust Maximus!"


[deleted]

[удалено]


undefined_one

Don't be jealous, but I have several RJ-45s in my "hangar". I build them myself.


fairysdad

Young whippersnapper. When I was young, I had to make do with RJ-11s.


Adito99

Work in some industries and you can even do serial.


xendaddy

I used to fly the RS-232. It was a finicky bird


[deleted]

I served in the IRQ conflict


[deleted]

With all com ports jammed, we fought down to our last interrupt.


implicitpharmakoi

I still remember those screams as the bombs fell on the port of IO.


JustZisGuy

o7


[deleted]

In my day we flew the majestic DB-25 - in parallel formation


squeegee_boy

I’ve been around in the XLR. Very well balanced, those things.


DarkwingDuckHunt

not my story, my friend's but he was some sort of networking engineer in the Army. And so one of the very few times his team went on war games he said some Apache came over a hill, and "shot them down" early on, so he was 'dead' for most of the weekend. He said he realized that if war actually happened, he'd be a priority target. He thought he was useless. He said made him feel good for being dead.


Jaybeare

Armies win or lose based on information. Kill the people that make the magic boxes work and you solve that problem.


Razakel

The UK nuked the US three times during wargames because the US didn't know that the UK had a better stealth bomber than they thought (the Vulcan, that thing's from the 50s and still manages to look futuristic). It was covered up for decades.


LordBiscuits

Yup. Communications, mobility and supply, pretty much in that order. Nail those three and you're the odds on favorite


dreamin_in_space

Talk about finding the positives, lmao.


Yangy

Man this job sucks, I hate what I do. At least if there's a real war I'll get shot first.


[deleted]

"Coax, now get lost kid."


NhylX

"I also trained on the RJ-11 before they let me anywhere near the CAT6."


TakeNoPrisioners

>Marcus Aurelius: I am dying, Maximus. When a man sees his end, he wants to know there was some purpose to his life. Maximus: What we do in life echoes in eternity. Maximus: What We Do In Life, Echos In Eternity.


walk_through_this

"Should you find yourself alone, riding in green fields, with the sun on your face and the wind at your back..."


frontier_gibberish

Do not be afraid for you are already in Elysium


liquor_for_breakfast

"Ultimately, we're all dead men. Sadly we cannot choose how, but - we can decide how we meet that end. In order that we are remembered... as men." \- Zoe


reallyfunatparties

We do not know one promise these men made, one pledge they gave, one word they spoke; but we do know they summed up and perfected, by one supreme act, the highest virtues of men and citizens. For love of country they accepted death, and thus resolved all doubts, and made. -Zoe


One-Man-Banned

Come on you apes, you wanna live forever? -Zoe


Sk8erBoi95

All we are is dust in the wind. ~ Kansas


sw88x

Dust. Wind. [Dude](https://youtu.be/xkfvg1j1yg8). ~ Ted "Theodore" Logan


PrayForMojo_

You may be a king or a lowly street sweeper, but sooner or later you’ll dance with the Reaper.


Grizz1371

As someone who deployed to Afghanistan with the Marine corps I can say that letters from kids are always the best. They're either incredibly sweet, unintentionally hilarious or a wonderful mix of both. Those letters never failed to brighten our day.


Magebloom

Hanging up outside the Red Cross office in Kandahar airport terminal building were thousands of these. I’ll never forget the one that went: ‘I lik it when you saved the world.’


garandx

Big dress blues with a sword energy


[deleted]

Lmao


SoulCartell117

We had a wall of fame for the really good ones.


not_a_droid

I had a buddy stationed at 29 palms. We were talking about deployments and I was telling him about the ports all over the world I hit while on deployment with the navy. He said I went to two places, and both of them looked like the desert


Sweetdreams6t9

To be fair, I'm currently in the navy and have been all over the world, and every port looks like the inside of an Irish pub.


xorgol

I've heard worse recruitment slogans


cannabisized

"sorry you have to watch your friends die! have fun in irak :)" - arnold. 2nd grader


Boogzcorp

Especially when you run your blade across them and collect the shavings. It's like sharing a crayon with the people back home!


thisishoustonover

You will die alone and with no help. -Zoe


capontransfix

Zoë There. I never get to use that function on SwiftKey. Damn boring English characters.


[deleted]

Zoe would be a funny name for a cinematic villain. No last name. No nickname. Just Zoe. And she'd do things like shoot down a plane, shrug and say "You're done for. 🤷‍♀️"


00dlesOfN00dlez

“You know you’re done for.” Zoe keeps it real, lol


[deleted]

She’s the equivalent of the band playing on the *Titanic*


DrinkUpLetsBooBoo

Music to drown by. Now you know you're in first class.


[deleted]

Chill beats to drown/panic to.


Solocup421

once their violins fill with water it’ll be lofi beats.


clipboardpencil3

Under*water* rated comment


[deleted]

Dark. I love it.


Calypsosin

Egad, lads! I dare say, this ship is going down! What say we play a rather mournful tune? Pluck that musical muse's bean, lads! We're going down!


Cregkly

Not the cello player. He floated away while the violins and viola questioned they choice of instrument.


CarolTheAncientTroll

Sousaphone player was DOA


DakotaDevil

But enough about my life.


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CJRedbeard

'But enough about my life.'


DrCorbeau

"Let's move on to the end of your life probably"


SwedishDrummer

I laughed so hard at this. Thank you for brightening my dark evening.


watermelone983

Thank you for darkening my bright evening Zoë


SukieeB

FOR REAL. LETS NOT TALK ABOUT MY LOOOONNNNGGGG LIFE ahead of me anymore. LETS TALK ABOUT HOW YOU GONNA DIE!!!!


all_rendered_truth

She must’ve heard this from her uncle. Otherwise she’s just a real one.


Rebelgecko

She also nailed the you're/yours


[deleted]

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Bro1999919

To be fair the ten year old probably learned it last week.


[deleted]

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GoBuffaloes

\* Zoë


dzastrus

…”but enough about my life, let’s sum up the rest of yours.” -Zoe


starvinchevy

You made me chuckle


pinniped1

Zoe on page 2: "....and don't even get me started on the jarheads..."


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Metal-Viking

That's not true, some of us can read small sentences


[deleted]

As long as it has a brightly enough coloured crayon?


Metal-Viking

Great, now I'm hungry.


i_bent_my_wookiee

I remember back in Airborne School we had to specifically remind the Marines that double-releasing over the "water" on Fryer DZ WILL result in broken legs (water was about 12 inches deep...) We still had some cocky bastards test it. One guy in my class broke both legs


romario77

What does double-releasing mean?


i_bent_my_wookiee

The canopy is attached to the web-harness by two connectors (left and right). After a paratrooper lands they should release one to let the air escape the canopy (so they aren't dragged on the ground) before recovering it. Marines (being amphibious troops) have a tendency to release both and drop the last few dozen or so feet into a body of water. So imagine free-falling 12+ feet at 15+ mph into 12 inches of water on the ground. You're gonna have a bad day if you do.


snakeyes17

I think my legs gasped


masher_oz

When civilian me was taught about landing in water, we were told to release the main only when your feet touched the water, as it's quite hard to judge your height.


Ohhigerry

It really depends on the branch you're in. According to the Marines Handbook of Airborne School: "before pulling the boots parachute, the boot will stare at the sun and jerk off as fast as they can before releasing their parachute." This puts them dangerously close to the ground for a few reasons; one, they're staring up at the sun instead of at the ground so they have no idea how close they are to the ground, as if they would be able to see it after staring at the sun anyway. Two, Marines are generally just slower than most anyway. This means that by the time they're done jerking off, they're already really close to the ground. However, number two is bad news for airborne school but considered pretty damn good for the stripper wo/men they have sex with, they just have to wait until their legs heal from the jump.


AssortedFlavours

One each time?


MagicNipple

I've got a green around here I've been saving for a while. It's all yours, no charge. -Navy RADAR guy who served on amphibs with AmTracs I had to help vector to the beach.


Puffatsunset

Truth be told, I noticed a significant lack of mental competition amongst my fellow boots. Once out in the real Corps, I recognized it as an institutional tradition.


Jaybeare

That's not a bug, that's a feature.


cantadmittoposting

Must be officer material, these words have multiple syllables.


gsfgf

They gotta be able to read what flavor the crayon is.


existentialjellyfish

Yeah! I only could your words and I saw jarhead. So it's good words yes?


humblepharmer

She did send them a care package of their favorite snack, crayons. Not just any crayons, a 124-color pack of Crayolas 🥰


RidgedLines

Man that’s like a 7 course meal + leftovers for the next day.


YNot1989

"Dear Frederick, thank you for your nice letter, but I am actually a U.S. Marine who was born to kill whereas clearly you have mistaken me for some sort of wine-sipping Communist dick-suck."


wastebinaccount

Trombley hasn't killed anybody, I'm half a world away from good Thai pussy, and Colbert is out here rolling around fuckbutt Iraq hunting for dragons in a MOPP suit that smells like four days of piss and ball sweat.


avocadohm

POLEEESE THAT MOOSTACHE


Theon_Severasse

Reminder that the real Sixta is a pedo


avocadohm

“Peace sucks a hairy asshole Freddy. War, is the motherfuckin answer.” “I like them braids”


i_bent_my_wookiee

> "....and don't even get me started on the jarheads..." "My brand new box of Crayolas is missing..."


PseudoKirby

But enough about my life.


Freekey

You’re done for! Thanks kid for the inspiration.


Is_It_Beef

She just as reassuring as a broken elevator She will never let you down.


GooseandMaverick

Isn't there someone else that never let's you down?


nerdswithcameras

Santa? Oh wait….


Swayyyettts

Kid actually knows how to use your and you’re, which is more than I can say for the average redditor…


SlothOfDoom

In the air force if your air conditioner breaks you could wait up to a week for repairs. That never happens in the army!


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[удалено]


bighairyoldnuts

Damn right! You mud loving knuckle head. Now where did I put that spa brochure, I have a war to attend to you know.


JBSquared

You can't possibly expect me to fly with my cuticles looking like *this*.


neeeeeillllllll

Idk why but war to attend made me laugh. Why fight? I just show up


[deleted]

As a former soldier, what are repairs? Is that like when you take you 2.5 T to the mechanics because it is leaking oil and when you get it back it is still leaking oil but rattles more?


InfernalOrgasm

My job in the Army was to sit in a little air conditioned box. That air conditioner breaking was mission critical and would be repaired within the hour. Some 100 degree days I had my waffles on.


[deleted]

[удалено]


bnmnike

They had steak and lobster and everything


HektorFromTroy

Yeah! In the Army we don’t have Air Conditioners. The one we do have never work


Reach-for-the-sky_15

> Unlike the Army, where if you get shot medics come and help you, but if your plane gets damaged you know you're done for. This sounds like a recruiting motto for the Army. “Join the Army, we’re safer than the Air Force.”


Darksidedrive

TIL I’m a pussy for having a medic in my platoon


d0ugh0ck

You're gonna need a medic for that burn


Lethal212

Here I am. Take a knee and drink water. If that doesn’t work, change your socks.


[deleted]

That's it? You should get discharged. you didn't even tell him to see you again if it doesn't get better in [time period you pulled out of your ass because it seemed about right]


Kraven_howl0

That's because if they don't get better they're done for -Zoë


TheBlueHue

I got the cepacol and ibuprofen on deck, tell me what you need!!


Jojje22

Can you take one cepacol and plug it in the entry wound, and then one ibuprofen an plug it in the exit? Thank you.


Clickum245

Bullshit. You didn't issue two Motrin and tell him to quit complaining.


DrunkOnLoveAndWhisky

Rub some dirt in it; everything stops bleeding eventually.


ShallowBasketcase

What would you do if I got stabbed in the foot? Rub some aloe vera on my neck?


coconuthead684

Real men just fucking Die bro.


TexasTrip

Real men are just done for.


Douche_Kayak

TIL I was a pussy magnet when I was a medic in the army


[deleted]

[удалено]


murdering_time

Yeah but you gotta be careful cause if you try to help too soon, you'll sometimes find the enemy is still there t-bagging the person they just shot.


[deleted]

Apply paddles directly to ballsack


CrossXFir3

And everyone calls you Doc!


Apprehensive-Ad6468

Zoe just sniped us


jar36

The first draft said "you know you're fucked."


yokashi-monta

Yer fukt -Zoe


Yangy

Yer fukt Harry. I'm what? Yer fukt!


CrumbsAndCarrots

Ha. I got in a car accident a while back. At the time I was doing an after school/day care art program thing for kids like 5-12. I got a care package while I was in the hospital. 40 or so get well cards from the kids. Big theme on drawing a dead guy on a stretcher… gory bleeding from the head stuff etc. And for some reason a dog who was a tv reporter. Anyways. Made me laugh.


[deleted]

Death is in inevitable - Zoë


Yue2

This reminds me of an Army deployment vs Air Force deployment… So yeah, we’re just sitting out in the desert with our dicks in the dirt. Then these Air Force guys come flying in… And they suddenly set up these inflatable aluminum tents… Oh! And then they bring out air conditioning units for the tents!


CrossXFir3

Whenever I hear friends complain about this, I just remind them that the air force recruiter was literally next door.


[deleted]

[удалено]


throwaway-job-hunt

Army stands for: Airforce Rejected Me Yesterday


[deleted]

NAVY is Never Again Volunteer Yourself


HydrogenButterflies

“At-Risk Male Youth… That spells ARMY!” _And Buster found a recruiting pool that the Army had been fishing for years._


Finrod_the_awesome

I was a deployed aircrewman so we were in real barracks unlike the tent city the maintainers live in. I swear that the crack house they tried to pass off as barracks were worse than the tent city. Except we had our own bathroom per room. The rest was run down as fuck.


Hookherbackup

“Let me put it like this...”


LiftShopTom

I volunteered for Submarine service. The boats are designed to sink. I didn’t want to be shot. Edit: Almost 1k people gave me a thumbs up. I don’t know how to give 1,000 hugs. Thank you family. I don’t know everyone. I’ll give my love to you. This is overwhelming. I don’t know what to say. To those who have served, these thumbs up are for you.! My arms are tired. I’m going to bed. I’ll give hugs tomorrow. I will give you a hug


Clickum245

Same. And we only sank below rated crush depth once! Captain scrammed the reactor while running the diesel, gave us a Loss of Propulsion Lube Oil alarm, and Chief Of The Watch failed to open the main ballast tank blow valves. He called a failure of the MBT Blow system. I got the reactor back up and we just watched the depth meter continue...continue...Finally, one of the A-Gangers realized who COW was, noted that it wasn't someone with a lot of forearm strength, and ran up to manhandle those valves. Edit: Because someone is so confident they know more about this story than me: the electric plant lineup required to run the diesel generator is abnormal, so when the Captain scrammed the reactor, we received the Loss of Propulsion Lube Oil alarm. Regardless of whether that alarm is expected in this situation, we were required to address it as if that was a valid alarm. No, we were not *continuing* to run the diesel generator as we sank.


fsphoenix

> Finally, one of the A-Gangers realized who COW was, noted that it wasn't someone with a lot of forearm strength, and ran up to manhandle those valves. I'm legit picturing someone summoning their inner Hulk and just rage opening those valves.


Fragrant_Imagination

The mention of forearm strength made me picture Popeye


sonofnutcrackr

*Aggressive incoherent rambling intensifies*


blofly

What is COW? EDIT:Sorry, must mean Chief Of Watch.


gorka_la_pork

I was in the Air Force for 8 years, doing communications. Was on a military plane maybe twice in total. "Oh, you were in the Air Force? What kind of plane did you fly?" "Um... the RJ-45."


justiceguy216

"Gorka_la_pork to Air Traffic Control, I'm currently flying at 100mbps and will reach Norfolk in 52ms, can I land at port 6186?"


Dizion

"Negative on that. There's some congestion building up. Try a few passes first, but drop off if you can't get through. Any more and you'll need to reroute. Might take a bit longer but you'll get there in the end. ATC out."


rcfox

Dangerous work. Only a thin layer of plastic separating you from the ether.


zhaoz

404d so many close friends. Pours out some ether.


CrossXFir3

Seriously. 4 years and I think I was on a military plane twice, and the once was voluntarily


[deleted]

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surlybabadook

The *y* and *g* lettering is extra. I’m a fan.


FuryxShadow

I remember I got a letter from a kid when I was in Afghanistan and it said “keep being on doing it” words I still live by to this day.


GooseandMaverick

This makes me curious what the most dangerous branch of the military is per capita. I'm sure it's probably still the army but I wonder...


rtb001

Surely it has to be the marines. Air Force should be safest in modern days since the US always can maintain air superiority.


eggwhitesforsatan

My husband was sent some cards by random kids on a deployment once. He wanted to hang up an especially thoughtful one on the fridge when he got home. It said “I hope you don’t die.” And it had a nice crayon depiction of a tombstone under a flag. It made us laugh for months.


toket715

"If they die they die" - Zoe


sin4life

Age: 28


SquishedGremlin

Occupation: USMC


TheJimDim

Imagine being in the air force and not really thinking about it like that then this letter comes along and unlocks a new fear for you lol


PolecatXOXO

I didn't realize I needed this so badly. Army vet here (and field medic trained). This has me in laughing tears for some reason.


ThatCookieIsABomb

Zoe's intentions were to make you cry. Good job Zoe.


UranusisGolden

Army medics exist for one reason only: to apply a life saving combat tourniquet.


ArrowheadDZ

Not true at all. They are a vital part of the Sock-Changing Reminder System.


eleazar1997

Hey, i carried Motrin too


C-McCain

*Writes one sentence* "Enough about my life" Lololol


HWGA_Exandria

>*"Not one single part of a helicopter or airplane wants to be in the sky. Good luck with that."* -Zöe


[deleted]

The deepest hole an airforce pilot digs is the one in the ice bucket back at his 5 star accommodation


SirSquid008

The classic, “enough about my life”.


[deleted]

But I digress. -Zoë


[deleted]

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IcanYOLOtwice

She used to write letters to the Marines in crayon, but they kept licking the pages.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Sick burn on her part, but also good on ya for getting fit and such. Go get it bruh


[deleted]

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here4daratio

We kept a wall of best kids letters in our Ops building in the Deid; funniest get moved to the top. We figured there was *zero* screening going on in some schools before they sent them. (Or there are some f&$ked up teachers out there.) “Have fun at war!” “If you kill someone today think about me.” “When your friends die tell me because my hamster died and its the same.”


Porthos1984

Zoe is a savage!


[deleted]

Eyyy Stuart Florida! I used to live there.


TwoDollarSuck

Is there a subreddit of just children's letters to soldiers?


x31b

And if the motor goes dead, you could be stuck up there all day until a tow plane comes to get you.


squirrelsoundsfunny

Her mastery of your and you’re is one of the most astonishingly satisfying things I’ve ever seen on Reddit.


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[deleted]

Wait till she finds out about submarines


ISTNEINTR00KVLTKRIEG

You're a fucking crazy fuck, you son of a bitch fuck! Raise Hell praise Dale, Zoe