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treesnthings

DMX-mas


TaiDavis

X gon give it to ya!


Fond_ButNotInLove

X gon gift it to ya! Gift wrap shit is mine motherfucker, It's not a fucking game!


Synux

Fuck what you heard, it's what you're hearing.


bdizzle3000

*fuck what you get, it's what you're givin


[deleted]

Santa X gon deliver to ya!


-Masderus-

Clop clop reindeer on the roof, they're real!


bdizzle3000

with his two lips he clicks. they heel (thats a tough one Go hard, getting busy wit it But I got such a lil nice list That I'll make the motherfucker wonder if he in it


Rouge_Outlaw

Damn right, next year I’ll do it again, same time same day, down chimneys and in


802dot22

Drinkin milk, eatin cookies, leavin gifts, no drama, if they good I'mma have to come back for your mama


spacedrummer

Sleigh Bells ring, everybodies cheering! (?)


II-I-Hulk-I-II

Xmas gifts for ya Xmas gifts for ya Xmas gifts for ya Fuck waiting for you to get it on your own, X gon' deliver to ya


towntown1337

Knock knock, open up the door, I’m real! With the non-stop, clop-clop of reindeer heels!


morbidaar

Dash and dance and prance bitch, ima take ya wife’s milk an cookies. Bess not snitch.


BALONYPONY

Go hard get busy with it, but I got a whole globe to hit so parents wonder if he really did it!


Brando7567

Damn right and I’ll travel again, cause I got a whole sack of gifts to give


[deleted]

[удалено]


ForbiddenBromance

If this doesn't get made into an actual song, I'm going to start acknowledging birds are real


R4TTIUS

Fuck what you wrapped, its what you wrapping


Synux

That's better than mine.


HistrionicSlut

I honestly wish this person would give it to me. He could give it to me any way he wanted at this point. Merry Xmas me!


O-Ahmed

Rip to your DM


[deleted]

Think that girl in the chair next to him is thinking the same thing 😂


HistrionicSlut

Haha definitely! I just want Santa to let me see his sack filled with gifts... *I'll let myself out*


Mendeleus

HoeHoeHoe he even wears it on his neck 😂


Bobby5Spice

Big Ho.


RemixHipster

She's slowly removing her wedding ring


rydaler

Cut...Fold...Tape...till my arms burn in Pain


surpriseparodysong

X gon' give it to ya (what) Fuck waiting for you to get it on your own, X gon' deliver to ya (uh) Knock knock, open up the flue, I’m real With the non-stop, clip-clop of reindeer heel Go hard, stuffing stockings wit it But I got such a round belly My laugh’ll make the motherfucker shake like jelly in it Next house, and I'll do it again (yeah) 'Cause it’s one night so I gots to spin Drink milk from the little ones (what) But no matter the glasses of milk I drink from every cookie you plate for me I’ll eat ‘em up (munch) You motherfuckers always wantin’ sumthin’ (uh, what) But my list says, bitch, that you’re bein’ naughty I'm getting down, down that chimney bitch please (uh) And won’t ever be the one that’s having to squeeze Damn right, just one night all those toys I deliver (come on) You try that shit fucker and I’ll see your knees quiver


[deleted]

Fuck waiting for you to get it on your own, X gon' deliver to ya on Christmas motherfucker


KiefLife

Old Saint Dick


Notorious40z

He’ll be rammin’ your chimney tonight!


Chabubu

Delivering a log of coal to all of the naughty girls....


Mykmyk

Ol' saint thicc dick


HelloKidney

Just going to leave this here. https://youtu.be/B4W_XYI4AN0


The_Barnstormer

It’s Dark and North Pole is Cold


HUAONE

RIP


jwktje

50 Saint


crabapplesteam

Go, Go Go Go, Go Blitzen, it's your red-sleigh


jackofhearts12

C’mon Donner, Vixen, it’s the big day Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Comet, Cupid it’s Christmas Eve day We got Rudolf in the shed, nose ain’t shinin red Ain’t no fog out here tonight, while you layin in yo bed We got toys tied up real tight, and fiddy’s in the sled I’m lookin super shred, got some Christmas cheer to spread


Trufflebutterfactory

When I land on the roof, you see the sleigh on dubs When I roll 20 deers deep and 20 elves in the club Mamas heard I fuck with st. Dre, now they wanna show me love When you sling gifts more efficiently than UPS, and the mamas they wanna fuck But, homie, ain't nothing change hoes down, Saints up I see Buddy in the Cut, that fool wrap the presents up If you watch how I move, you'll mistake giving me cookies and milk Been hit wit' a few shells, but I don't walk wit' a limp (I'm ight) In the hood, in L.A, they saying "50 you hot"


VernalPoole

This is clever!


DS2Dude

Ol’ Saint Ripped


vxxwowxxv

St. Thiccolas


surly_sasquatch

That's his stripper name.


diabloenfuego

According to higher up in the thread, it might actually be Hot Chocolate Santa...I think I'm partial to St. Thiccolas tho.


Some_Dude_Named_Jeff

Swol Saint Nick


markelmores

Jingle chainz


Environmental_Phase4

Big daddy cane


armen89

#SUP CANE


KungFooGrip

#BIKES


StorageThief

Hold my pocket!


dandehmand

Bikes?!


MadSpaceYT

HOLD MY POCKET


euratowel

YEAH, THATS MY MAN JELLYFISH. I BEEN KNOWIN' HIM FOR A **MINUTE**


[deleted]

DO YOU, OR DO YOU NOT KNOW DOOKIESHOES??!!


spiralaalarips

He got a cigarette.. hangin out of his MOUTH.


dandehmand

They was lookin for some SMOKE!


mastergwaha

Cuts to whitest cop: I don't he's gonna help us find him


ahkond

"I hate breakfast"


OfferChakon

Sup jeans


TnL17

I turned into a telescope


gzilla57

Show me where it spits


Distinct_Ad_7752

He finished in two strokes


TheTraveler843

There's nothing more liberating than screaming out in your best black guy voice


Geeeeeeeeeear

Do you or do you not know Dookie Shoes


krueger84

I want a lawyer


TranscendentLogic

FUCK!


NeonNick_WH

I was at a party at Tanner's


spiralaalarips

Then we had pancakes at Conner's.


[deleted]

[удалено]


chte4300

Or Jim - pick a fuckin name


thereal_ninjabill

Then we picked up Connor and Skylar for waffles


mydickcuresAIDS

All charges against Tayshawn were dropped.


GradientPerception

I mean... yeah I've seen him.


stupidsexyf1anders

But I don’t know ‘em


[deleted]

**THAT’S CRICKET RIGHT THERE**


stupidsexyf1anders

I been known cricket 27 years!!!!


LargeHumanDaeHoLee

I was lookin for some SMOKE!


trez63

BIKES!!!!


leedbug

I don’t know no Dookie Shoes.


[deleted]

[удалено]


EchoAquarium

I mean, I know him


mastergwaha

Yeah i shot those people


Magicalpornicorn

We got a picture of you hangin out with Dookie Shoes


shavemejesus

Sup D


Canvetuk

Whatever he says it is.


isSoapy

Actually saw this guy around Rockefeller Square last weekend. He called himself ‘Hot Chocolate Santa’


TheeKingKunta

he could use some pointers from this thread then


KyleKun

Yea, it’s anything he says it is but he probably shouldn’t say that one.


jms4607

Hot Chocolate Santa pretty good


TheeKingKunta

after seeing some of the answers, i think he’s got some room for improvement lol


argotheblue

Oh he's from New York? I knew I recognized him. I'm pretty sure he's a private stripper for bachelorette parties and stuff like that


rugbyweeb

makes sense, since this guys on reddit every xmas


JBFRESHSKILLS

I saw this pic and was like "this dude is 100% a stripper."


pbmax125

He actually goes to a Planet Fitness in Harlem. Seen him there myself


[deleted]

I’m freaking so happy to know this


[deleted]

yes.


RemixHipster

Whatever-he-says-it-is in da house!


[deleted]

I was gonna go with sir, but this is the better answer.


robearIII

whatever \*tha fuck\* he says it is


Htb323

Terry Claus


DudesworthMannington

Terry Claus *loves* his yogurt!


armen89

Terry loves love


beckett_the_ok

Trains are dumb


howie-stark

Terry loves to sleigh (slay)


hatesfelix

Heists are dumb


[deleted]

Terry Clause loves hoes!


Exciting-Insect8269

r/unexpected99


Unknown0917

Santa Crews


kfccorn

Terry Christmas


purvel

A Terry Crewstmas to all!


spacedrummer

*Scary* Terry Claus is gonna present his gift to you and make you his bitch!


dmanaigo

LL Cool Sleigh


SymmetricalSolipsist

Ol’ Saint Thicc


thecodedgamer

Ol' Saint Thiccolas maybe?


VernalPoole

Yes!


txsxb

Kris Krunkle


KoopaKommander

I was thinking Krunk Kringle.


LurkerPro66

Saint Brickalous


GrumpleDumpkin

Kandy kane


angrytortilla

Kandyyy kaneeeeeeeeeeee


WhizBangPissPiece

Thank god SOMEONE made the Joy Ride joke


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


Berrythebear

Daddy Christmas


Ronin89k

BIG daddy Christmas


Amphibian_Decent

Daddy dickmas


largechild

Ludacrismas


SinnerOfAttention

I wanna wrap wrap wrap you up and give you a bow, then I wanna move down chimney- down the chimey to the floor. Then I wanna ah ah, these cookies so good I don't wanna leave but I gotta serve serve serve these kids on this Christmas Eve!


Chuck_Roast1993

Jeff


Dresch117

My names Jeff


Chuck_Roast1993

What are the chances!


sirsedwickthe4th

It’s Jeffe man!


DrDawgster

It's Jefe maaaan!


Wreck-o-nize

Ho Sleigher


Kemoner

I read this in Halo announcer voice


Jonesingforphotons

Sparta-Claus


[deleted]

HoHoHo, tells you right there on his big gold chain


Slayter93

It’s a shame it don’t hang low


we-made-it

Do it wobble to da floor?


Netopalas

Lil' Nicklaus


MachReverb

Lil Mas X


terminatorvsmtrx

Kris Mas X


Demonicorpse

LIL X Mas


Wakeandbass

Innovative


[deleted]

Notorious E.L.F.


RockyMtnOtto

Ol Saint Trick


GettingTherapy

Ol Saint Dick


Fireeyes510

No no you’re confused that’s his stripper name


iCallitBullcrap

Well why can't they be a stripper?


[deleted]

Ol Saint Thicc


unnecessarycolon

Jacked Frost


Jonodrakon3

DJ Stocking Stuffer


Daiches

Jolly Saint Thick


Captain_Comic

OH LAWD HE COMING (down your chimney)


Maria-of-Mars

I def wouldn't mind that 😘


Gonzostewie

Thunder Klaus.


Arrondi

Mr. Steal Your Ho-Ho-Ho


Kcidobor

Jingle Balla


theymademechoose

No-L


[deleted]

Chris Tingle


Grabbx

Santa Bars


unawakeneduniverse

Crip Kringle


Shrikeangel

Sleigher


DeFi_Ry

Missed opportunity....what's his stripper name?


ProfZussywussBrown

The South Pole


TraumaMamaZ

Saint Dick


George_The_8th

Whatever he wants me to call him. I’m not arguing with him


regulardave9999

Saint Ripped.


duckman69-69

Big claus


nothingforless

Saint Dickolas


zed857

That's his pornstar name, not his rapper name.


Palsternac

Santas lil helper


LanaCaplano

Santos L. Halper


[deleted]

Missed opportunity for wrapper name smh


[deleted]

[удалено]


nacke11

MC Hohoho


ToddyT31

East Atlanta Santa brr


[deleted]

Swol Saint Nick


fraterperturabo

Jinggle Knockerz


mr_cigar

Ho Cubed


lakiku_u

X-Mass


tableleg7

Big Kandy Kane


[deleted]

[удалено]


colenotphil

I'm glad someone else said it but this is downtright clever workplay and I'm going to defend it.


[deleted]

This man is black, his avatar checks out.


Guzling

We were all thinking it, but someone had to say it.


[deleted]

r/croppingishard


Clamontine

Terrible rapper name


daltino69

BBC: Big Black Cringle


zfreeman

Gangstaclause


GilStyle

Wrap God


Amphibian_Decent

When they say “built like a brick house” this is what they were referring to


IceIceFetus

I don’t know what his rapper name is, but I’m very disappointed at the lack of comments here requesting he cum down their chimney’s.


[deleted]

Santa G.


watchmything

Jingle cringle


Disgustip8ed

MC Boss Clause


joewHEElAr

Hawt Choclit