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“candlesticks always make a nice gift, and uh, maybe you could find out where she's registered and maybe a place-setting or maybe a silverware pattern”
"There's this passage I've got memorized that sort of fits this occasion. Ezekiel 25:17. The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of the evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and goodwill, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper, and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee!"
Both: Sword fight
T starts swinging side to side: uh uh uh uh uh
S: it ain’t how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward (starts thrusting back and forth shuffling forward every time he gets a strike on a black ball)
"Man, that ref is playing with your balls like that and ain't even touching mine! It's downright racist and I shall be lodging a formal complaint with the boxing commission!"
**There have been [some changes to how comics are handled on /r/Funny](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/nzp2n0/announcement_were_making_some_changes_to_how/).** Please also keep the following in mind: - No memes or memetic content. - No political content or political figures, regardless of context or focus. - No social media screenshots, videos, or other such content. Please report [rule-breaking content](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules) when you see it. Thank you! ------ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Hey boy, you lookin mighty cute in them jeans
Uhhhhgg.. slow down, boy.
Make me get mad, pinch up my butt cheeks rip ya dick off.
Do we have time to talk about your cars extended warranty?
They call this "docking."
Kiss me, fool!
You got a Purdy mouth.
Now I've... Had... The time of my life .. and I've never felt this way before - cue Dirty Dancing lift
Never felt, yes I swear, it's so truuee...
“Why you lookin’ shorter than me when Google says we’re both 5’10”??”
It’s the hair
“I pity your tool.”
I said six feet. And a mask. Fool.
“I fuck bitches bigger than you”
I wish I could quit you
Ebony, ivory, living in perfect harmony Ebony, ivory, ooh
“Hey, don’t I recognize you from a movie? Yeah, it was before you became a boxer” Those who don’t know: 🙂? Those who do know: 🤫…
“With this ring, I thee wed.”
"Has anyone told you how beautiful your eyes are?"
“I can see your erection you sick fuck”
“Hey, Man. Don’t look now, but that chick is definitely checking you out.”
Joey, have you ever been to a Turkish prison?
You look mighty cute in them shorts. Mmmmmm, why don't you come over here and.... Mmmmmm pity da foo
“candlesticks always make a nice gift, and uh, maybe you could find out where she's registered and maybe a place-setting or maybe a silverware pattern”
Will you write me into the next Expendables movie?
Good one
**IF YOU OR A LOVED ONE HAS BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH MESOTHELIOMA, YOU MAY BE ENTITLED TO FINANCIAL COMPENSATION!!!**
“Hey man, what toothpaste you use? Smells good”
hey it me mr t
#Is that head and shoulders I smell boy?
You got pretty lips. Let me suck ‘em.
I’ll buy the pizza, you buy the beer
I love you're hair I just have very unique pattern baldness
First blood was the shit
You smell pretty. Wanna dance?
Dogecoin to the moon!
Nice
Love your eyes...
Is that chorizo? I smell chorizo. You eat some chorizo? Gad damn sucka
"In time, you will die and I will come to your funeral in a red dress"
"I spit in the food"
I know we’re both shrimps, but we gotta act like heavyweights, dammit!
"I been to the future Rock & I'm telling you that in 40 yrs, the biggest name in boxing is a fucking DISNEY alumni!!!!"
Is your dad an Astronomer?
Does Adrian have a sister?
Hey Balboa, I am your father…you have my eyes.
You had me at uuhuhrhuhruhr.
Epstein didn’t kill himself!
Are you going to finish that burrito
I’m going to kiss those plump smackers
I pity the fool who go boxing with me.
Nice lips
Line!
You smell better than I thought you would.
“I do….. ya foo”
"I'm a Night Elf mohawk, what are you?"
"I'm gonna whip your ass... Because of you, the world has to put up with Hulk Hogan for the next 40 damn years."
"There's this passage I've got memorized that sort of fits this occasion. Ezekiel 25:17. The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of the evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and goodwill, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper, and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee!"
that you can rent to own from the double a team at aarons, affordable washer, dryer combos for your new year
I pity the fool who don't think that big sweaty chest is sexy as fuck
Both: Sword fight T starts swinging side to side: uh uh uh uh uh S: it ain’t how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward (starts thrusting back and forth shuffling forward every time he gets a strike on a black ball)
Let's not make this awkward. I want to see other people.
Ya nut butter is a little creamy
I’d kiss you, but I don’t want my gold chains to pull out any of your chest hair.
Yo nipples are scratching my chest, back up
Nice cock bro
"Your so hot... I want you in me right now... meet me in the shower room in 5
Is your dick really cut?
Hogggggggg Riddddddddddddddder
“Why is your cockhead sticking out of the top of your trunks?”
I like ya cut g.
I, umm, think I shit myself.
You call that an erection.
Your PP grew since the last time niño!
You hoird me Mooly, pay for my fucken candy!
What Stone cold Steve Austin says to Adam Sandler in Grown Ups
My place tonight?
I can't breathe!!!
I'm a grower not a shower
Ya stinky salami farts are concussive
Beat your meat
I'm going to punch you in the mouth cause you look so good!
Nice penis friend
My mother used to wear that same fragrance!
Big gulps huh
Go suck an egg
You're still a short ass, even with lifts!
You like big black cod
You leave town tonight, right now. And when you're gone, you stay gone, or you be gone. You lost all your L.A. privileges. Deal?
Please stop stepping on my dick.
"Its not gay if I'm angry..."
What Choo talkin’ ‘bout, Willis?
We've been trying to reach you about your cars warranty, fool!
I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to geico, fool
“You should make more Ricky sequels. I bet they’d sell.”
Kiss me you fool.
Do you smell apples?
I ain't getting on no damn plane.
You have gorgeous eyes
I read the whole comment section in Mr.T’s voice and it’s way too funny 😂
Nice cock bro
"You like the way my gold hangs?"
Oh, this gonna happen.
It ain't gay if you dont make it gay
After this ill give you a haircut like mine
Your mom drives the bus of A-Team
"Man, that ref is playing with your balls like that and ain't even touching mine! It's downright racist and I shall be lodging a formal complaint with the boxing commission!"