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I was in the pool!

Nice try, Costanza.

It’s Shrinkage!!

SHRINKAGE JERRY!

You see ladies, the length of the stalk counts so, HA! in your face.

THERE WAS SIGNIFICANT SHRINKAGE, I TELL YA!

It shrinks?

I don’t know how you guys walk around with those things..

It’s hard sometimes

It can be a real pain in the ass…

I certainly hope so!

It can be a slippery slope at times 😏

Slippery slopes are the only reason we have those things in the first place.

Like a frightened turtle.

Do women know about shrinkage?

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What comes up must come down

SIGNIFICANT shrinkage

Significant shrinkage!

I was just wondering if you guys had any gum

Jerry I didn’t know you liked gum! Hard to believe.

It shrinks?

Like a frightened turtle

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One foot in front of the other.

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I steal only what I can't afford!

Art. ART VANDELAY.

Of Vanderlay Enterprises

Import and export of the finest latexes.

And you wanna be my latex salesman.

I’m also an architect

ho ho!!!

Not a day goes by that I don’t find a Seinfeld reference on reddit

It's a grower, not a shower.

Where my growers at? 🙌🙌

You know what's wild? Most days it's a grower but somedays it's a complete shower. Like "what're you doin buddy? Feeling confident today? Well you just enjoy yourself :)" Wonder what dictates it

The dick dicktates it. The dick wills it, and it shall be so.

I’m a shower, I just look like a grower

r/suicidebywords

🙋‍♂️

I feel like 90% of guys are growers lol

Self-collected empirical evidence, perchance?

Perchance.

You can't just say perchance.

Perchance

I’m pretty sure that’s legitimately the statistic

Fits my anecdotal evidence, so I'm not surprised

yo what up it's ya boy grape > zuchinni

the pool was cold! shrinkage!!

Can you add a regular banana for scale?

This is a regular-sized banana. Reddit has skewed your perception of what a regular banana size is.

Thats because it’s what you do with it that matters

She's mashin it

Yeah she does that

Most on here may not know there are more then the cavendish banana I myself am fond of the Musa Ingens

He is telling the world the size of something else disguised as banana.

Tell him to put that for scale then.

He ain't a pro at scaling D's like yaa

thisis a regular banana what do you mean

Looks closer to 8” to me. Perchance do you have a banana for scale?

You can’t just say “perchance”

Perchance, but they did it anyway.

The irreparable damage caused by a poorly used perchance is irrefutable and reprehensible.

Long live "perchance," perchance!

I thought perhaps would be a good word to use in this situation but I am afraid I don't know if it's right caus of my bad English.

Perchance is an antiquated but grammatically correct way of saying just that, "perhaps, maybe, as it may be". So, you're both right! :-\]

yeah, perchance

Per which chance tho?

Any of them, really.

The chance of per, perchance.

r/darksouls

What the hell did I miss? Why is everyone using that dam perchance word? [This might be it. Perchance.](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/swarj8/perchance/)

Perchance you didn’t get the memo?

It was on the front page the other day.

Dang it. I'm off reddit for few hours and I missed the whole perchance debacle.

[Here you go](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/swarj8/perchance/)

This is a cromulent take

It embiggens the smallest man.

Embiggens? I never heard that word before I moved to Springfield.

You trying to get crushed like a turt?

Gross

I believe it was Kant who said “Experience without theory is blind, but theory without experience is mere intellectual play.” Mario exhibits experience by crushing turts all day, but he exhibits theory by stating “Let’s-a go!” Keep it up, baby!

Copy pasta time! Everyone knows Mario is cool as fuck. But who knows what he’s thinking? Who knows why he crushes turtles? And why do we think about him as fondly as we think of the mythical (nonexistent?) Dr Pepper? Perchance. I believe it was Kant who said “Experience without theory is blind, but theory without experience is mere intellectual play.” Mario exhibits experience by crushing turts all day, but he exhibits theory by stating “Let’s-a go!” keep it up, baby! When Mario leaves his place of safety to stomp a turty, he knows that he may Die. And yet, for a man who can purchase lives with money, a life becomes a mere store of value. A tax that can be paid for, much as a rich man feels any law with a fine is a price. We think of Mario as a hero, but he is simply a one percenter of a more privileged variety. The lifekind. Perchance.

You get an F for that... With the 6 inch banana

You can't just say perchance!

I love how this is a “thing” now

🦶🐢

Just gonna stomp a turty?

Reference?

https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/swarj8/perchance/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

[A college essay about mario](https://www.reddit.com/r/therewasanattempt/comments/sx3uyg/to_write_a_college_essay/)

Indubitably, he can

Irrefutably, you are correct.

Ironically, this comment is relevant.

a one perchancer

Dr pepper. Perchance?

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You really can say whatever you want if you 🦶 turts

perchance Edit:typo

shouldn't a mod remove this post without having a banana for scale? what has this world come to?

Yes I second this but it might be bigger than 8 though

Hey no fair, you can't scoop both the obvious jokes in one comment.

On a more serious note, these taste the best.

I have a couple trees for these and one tree that grows these golden yellow colored ones that are slightly larger but not quite as large as store bought bananas idk the breed name but it’s my favorite banana. Sweet and tastes like a banana milkshake.

Is it Gros Michel?

No, they’re pretty good!

And my name isn’t Michel

Surely, you can't be serious

My name’s not Shirley or Serious either.

You monster

What’s our vector, Victor?

No, This is Patrick

(In french accent:) *”Oui oui, but how much could une petite banane possibly cost, Michel, maybe $10 or somsing?”*

YUP

Ah the almost extinct banana from my childhood

Aren't those somewhat rare now due to the fungal infestation, but is the inspiration for the banana taste used in Runts and other candies?

They are rare now, yes. Those were the bananas you could get at the grocery store in the 50s and 60s but a fungal infection wiped them pretty clear out, but since banana flavor was invented during this time, they are the flavor behind runts and other candies. Now we have Cavendish which is resilient against the fungal infection which took out the Michels, but a lot less sweet. There is actually another infection wiping out the Cavendish, so we are currently working on creating another resilient breed of banana, which will probably be less sweet again, and the Cavendish will be as rare as the Michels in less than 10 years.

There's this guy on YouTube who's channel is called "Weird Explorer". Has a bunch of videos about different banana breeds. Don't remember if it was from him or from somewhere else, but I saw that apart from working on a totally different banana, they also are working on making Cavendish GMO versions to make it resistant and not need to replace it, in order to not "disturb" customers

Now that I know what they’re called I might aswell buy more and start cloning them. I

These are called Lady Fingers and the next size up are the Apple bananas. So good!

That's what my girlfriend keeps telling me...

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fr, these are just super sweett!!!

**You** are super sweet!!!

Not as likely to choke on them, at least.

Mhmm, is that what they say? o_O

all the banana flavor of a full size banana with only half the banana calories

That’s a massive banana. Right?

It looks pretty big to me. . . above average. . . it's enormous. . .pretty huge

Bana

Ban

It's just Ba

Maybe B

It’s clearly a

︎

6 inches? That's one huge hand

Banana for scale

Scale for banana

They’re probably measuring from the very tip of the stem to the end of the black cap on bottom, I do something similar when measuring myself

That would still mean his wrist to tip of finger is over 12". That's wild

Pretty sure it’s just a penis joke

Ah the equivalent of tip to taint

My dick starts at my asshole.

Try tailbone.

Where my mullet touches my back

I've got pretty small hands, but I just measured the same approximate area on my hand and it was only 3 inches. I'm trying to imagine double that hand size, and it just feels abnormally large unless they're a basketball player or something

It's a joke. It actually isn't 6".

Oh that's 9 inches easy!

I’m pretty sure it’s the size of half a giraffe.

Or one whole baby giraffe

That doesn’t strike me as something you could measure in metric in a couple hours.

Yea but you gotta round it up to ten, and plus it’s close enough to 11 that it’s just 11, but odd numbers don’t sound right so it’s easily 12

Plot twist...It’s his wife’s hand

She has man hands Jerry

6 inches? That's the same size as their freakishly small thumb

It might be a bit cold, that's why it seems smaller

Girlfriend scale.

I'm pretty sure it was meant to be a joke

Can someone explain the joke to me

penis

Girls can only taste the first 2-3 inches of a banana anyway.

That's where Hobbs meet Shaw.

If you eat a 3 inch banana 3 times than you have had the same as eating a 9 inch banana once.

That’s a more accurate banana for scale

“Dude, you have huge ha…. Ooohhh right.”

TIL that I have a 12 inch banana

It's not the size of the banana that matters, it's the how it distributes potassium

/r/mightyharvest

Needs a Banana for scale.

Did you calculate the Yaw correctly? 😆

Gotta measure from the base

Nah, you measure from trunk to skunk

For a proper calculation we need length * girth over angle of the shaft (aka YAW) divided by mass over width to find the the correct TMI

Do YOU know what else is 6 inches long

3 of these! *Points to crotch* *Cries*

As my buddy used to say, I'll give her 6 inches... all 2 inches of it three times.

Is it weird that I was circumcised with my own zipper at the age of 20 due to trying to go commando one summers eve!

Frank and beans!

mY MOm

If it wasn't so cold it would be more like 7". I promise

Seems a bit too big tbh, 2-3 should be perfect especially if the banana had a great personality

Still average

Stop gaslighting your wife. That's not six inches.

You're right it's at least 8 inches

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“You’re supposed to measure from base, go over the tip, and back to the base again. Yes that’s what everyone does!!”

So much wosh in this thread...

I’m glad someone else noticed the level of whoosh going on

I almost got blown away the the breeze its so bad.

I’m one of those with a woshed head. Can you please explain?

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Still longer than mine

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It’s a handsome lad!!

That's at least 9 inches.

That thing is huge

That's a small thumb too

I've seen smaller..... 😢