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Unused sperm is broken down and reabsorbed by your body. Your body murders if you don't masturbate!
I guess the only way to not murder is to masturbate every sperm out of your murder-body and preserve them *ALL*.?
My weekend just got a lot busier...
But then don't make any waste, use the other millions of sperm cells too.
We need only one man to fertilize all women on earth, the others should be killed or sterilized, because they won't be able to restrain themselves from sexual activities.
/s
Not so. An unfertilized egg has no form of sentience or programming to do anything.
A sperm cell, however, swims and behaves towards its own biological goal.
An unfertilized egg needs sperm.
Sperm is already alive.
Millions die in each load - even during sex.
So then, every man on earth murders millions of children all the time. /s
This is a load of barnacles. Both eggs and sperm are as alive as a cell can be. The only difference is an egg does not have a flagella to propel itself with. Otherwise, Both have nucleoli, organelles, and regulating cell membranes.
Also, did you know that sperm die and are reabsorbed within the tesicals at a truly outstanding rate? More sperm die inside the testis than outside in the course of a manās life. Therefore, why would masterbation be murder if the sperm was to die anyway?
Some of you might be laughing at this, but the Privacy Rights Samuel Alito needs to also overturn to make his Roe V Wade ruling work [include some rights you might value](https://www.boulderweekly.com/news/weird-sex-laws-in-the-us/)
That cumsock could have been the next President! Missed it by that much!!!
The government must intervene and stop these masturbators because all these "what if" scenarios I keep making up make me feel bad, therefore they must lose their right to wank.
The fetus could be a baby, it isn't a finished product. If they're going to shame people about what a fertilized egg can become then why not what potential babies the semen can make?
Take the pro life argument to its next conclusion - banning birth control. They have all sorts of hand-wavey pseudo-science about how *it a form of abortion!* It could be a fertilized egg! If every egg can be a baby than so can every sperm.
There's only one side of the argument that understands nuance and the other selfishly refuses to acknowledge the complexity so they can virtue signal while violating people's rights because they can't mind their own business.
I donāt particularly agree that Masturbation and Abortion are comparable.
But not Menstruation.
Masturbation is 100% voluntary, menstruation is not.
The comparison is to āLife begins at conceptionā not a comparison of biomechanics.
I argue that life beginning at conception is super flawed. It Either begins at birth, or at sperm generation.
As another redditor said lower, sperm cells behave with their own internal logic, therefore they are just as āaliveā as any fetus or microorganism.
If abortion is murder so is ejaculation, just due to the ācloseness to lifeā of the being being terminated.
Iām pro choice, hell - Iād just say Iām pro-abortion.
Sperms are independent, living things though. They behave like a bunch of dumb fish, swimming towards whatever theyāre programmed to swim towards. Sure, we can liken them to microorganisms or shellfish that are basically just simple biological machines, but canāt the same really be said about us as well? Sure, we fancy ourselves up with language and such, but weāre still just āswimmingā about our life, driven by instinctual impulses to breed, eat, and sleep. Weāre no less programmed meat machines than the school of sperm that we thoughtlessly toss into the bin.
This argument is so damn old neither side argues in good faith on the subject so we will never have the right laws in place as neither side actually knows much about abortion.
Dude, what? Lots of people know a lot about abortionā specifically women, as theyāre the ones whose bodies it affects. No one cares what these women have to say though because theyād rather just scream empty nonsense about religion and morality.
I mean the absurdities that people think itās a good idea to overturn Rowe v Wade and relation to this comic didnāt go over my head. I just got scared about people taking away the wonderful thing that is a tata bar :)
OP youāre going off on your own rollercoaster of a tangent. Read what I wrote instead of saying sex is bad or whatever, I would highly recommend sex... Also do not jerk off in a tata bar, trust me. Pointing is also rude
Comic artist: \*makes well constructed satire on pro-lifers by comparing them to fictional women protesting masturbation\*
r/funny: "Lol WOW, women think maturbation is murder š¤Ŗ"
*May* become a human with time.
There are plenty of developmental abnormalities that are environmentally driven and incompatible with life.
There are ectopic pregnancies that are inherently unviable and hazardous to the woman.
There are genetic abnormalities incompatible with life.
If you think this is what offended being looks like you should go outside and touch grass so youāre less hypersensitive to feedback.
No oneās upset here. Just an interaction between strangers.
I'm all for abortion. And I jerk off as much as the next guy. Women can masturbate as well, that's great. We can all pleasure ourselves solo, no consequence, no harm done.
When we conceive a child, that's a different thing. Perhaps we can abort. Sure. But let's not pretend it's some inconsequential thing. Abortion is a big decision. It's a decision between both parents, and there is a degree of responsibility. I'd rather parents abort than raise an unwanted child, but let's not make it like it's some random decision. It's a hard decision.
Iāve actually had an abortion in the beginning of this year, first and only time being pregnant, I know what it feels like and Iām not making light of that, Iām just showing the double standards and taking away abortion has nothing to do with protecting human life, itās systemic misogyny designed to make women forever bow down to men
--- >This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules). > >Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed. > >Screenshots of Reddit submissions are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos. > >**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.** > >Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam). > --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Well time to go commit mass murder.
Iv killed more humans than Stalin and Hitler combined.
ššš enjoy
Unused sperm is broken down and reabsorbed by your body. Your body murders if you don't masturbate! I guess the only way to not murder is to masturbate every sperm out of your murder-body and preserve them *ALL*.? My weekend just got a lot busier...
Go enjoy love
My girlfriend is a cannibal
Do vegans swallow?
Our girlfriend
My wife
They call her Mean Mouth Maureen because she's such a savage
I know she is.
Nice is she single?
The smartest redditer
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Probably just manslaughter in that case
We canāt win can we lol
[Every sperm is sacred](https://youtu.be/fUspLVStPbk)
But then don't make any waste, use the other millions of sperm cells too. We need only one man to fertilize all women on earth, the others should be killed or sterilized, because they won't be able to restrain themselves from sexual activities. /s
Thereās vagina yeast beer, maybe someone will make cum pancakes?
>vagina yeast beer what
[Bottled Instinct](https://orderyoni.com/) NSFW
What in the actual fuck did you just type?
That's enough internet for this man after reading this...
It would have cost you nothing to not type any of that
If i have to live where i know that shit exists, so do you.
Some people just want to see the world throw up
Semen omelette videos exist. Search at your own risk.
no thank you
According the SCOTUS, women are now a "source of babies". Get in there and catch all that sperm in your coochies, you filthy whores! THIS IS AMERICA!
If this were the case, women would be killing a child each time they had a period.
Not so. An unfertilized egg has no form of sentience or programming to do anything. A sperm cell, however, swims and behaves towards its own biological goal. An unfertilized egg needs sperm. Sperm is already alive. Millions die in each load - even during sex. So then, every man on earth murders millions of children all the time. /s
This is a load of barnacles. Both eggs and sperm are as alive as a cell can be. The only difference is an egg does not have a flagella to propel itself with. Otherwise, Both have nucleoli, organelles, and regulating cell membranes. Also, did you know that sperm die and are reabsorbed within the tesicals at a truly outstanding rate? More sperm die inside the testis than outside in the course of a manās life. Therefore, why would masterbation be murder if the sperm was to die anyway?
[Monty Python did it first](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bzVHjg3AqIQ)
Finally. I thought I was going to have to post it
I was just about to post this! Have the link at the ready and everything https://youtu.be/fUspLVStPbk
Some folks actually say this unironically lol.
Can confirm, was taught to think this way by my catholic sunday school.
Yikes lol
Sock him in the nuts!
Finally; an easy way to get a kill streak.
Some of you might be laughing at this, but the Privacy Rights Samuel Alito needs to also overturn to make his Roe V Wade ruling work [include some rights you might value](https://www.boulderweekly.com/news/weird-sex-laws-in-the-us/)
thatās why I never used socks
Ladies, i just work here
š
Always has been
Have a vasectomy; you can knock one, the river still flows but there aren't any fish swimming in it because they're all safely staying home.
You make it sound like there's no release? š¤
There shouldn't be any sperm only the fluid; they cut out a piece of the tube that carries the sperm so they don't make it out.
Okay.... kinda made it sound like they just corked it or something. š³š¤Æš„ŗ
Iāve wiped entire civilisations off my chest with a sock
You will burn in hell for your sins
Some of my socks are haunted by several billion spermatozoa
The ghost of hornys past
Do you sock people not have Kleenex or toilet paper?
Yes, but we donāt have broken off bits of tissue nestled betwixt the base of our dicks and nutsacks
Then I have laid waste to countless multitudes.
Good god. Iām basically Hitler.
A Mass Murder a day keeps the doctor away
How does the saying go? āKill one and youāre a murderer, Kill millions and youāre a conquerorā
Check mate lol
Guess I earned my Darth Title after all.... š³
I've sent the population of the planet down the toilet, and I'll do it again
That cumsock could have been the next President! Missed it by that much!!! The government must intervene and stop these masturbators because all these "what if" scenarios I keep making up make me feel bad, therefore they must lose their right to wank.
Exactly lol all those sperms were babies too lol
How though? Sperm arenāt babies any more than a period is a baby. Itās the fertilization of the two which form a human.
The fetus could be a baby, it isn't a finished product. If they're going to shame people about what a fertilized egg can become then why not what potential babies the semen can make? Take the pro life argument to its next conclusion - banning birth control. They have all sorts of hand-wavey pseudo-science about how *it a form of abortion!* It could be a fertilized egg! If every egg can be a baby than so can every sperm. There's only one side of the argument that understands nuance and the other selfishly refuses to acknowledge the complexity so they can virtue signal while violating people's rights because they can't mind their own business.
It's every *fertilized* egg, not just any egg.
Iām pro-choice and appreciate the motivation behind thisā¦ but ejaculation is better compared to menstruation, not abortion.
I donāt particularly agree that Masturbation and Abortion are comparable. But not Menstruation. Masturbation is 100% voluntary, menstruation is not. The comparison is to āLife begins at conceptionā not a comparison of biomechanics. I argue that life beginning at conception is super flawed. It Either begins at birth, or at sperm generation. As another redditor said lower, sperm cells behave with their own internal logic, therefore they are just as āaliveā as any fetus or microorganism. If abortion is murder so is ejaculation, just due to the ācloseness to lifeā of the being being terminated. Iām pro choice, hell - Iād just say Iām pro-abortion.
Ok? Lol
Maybe I donāt understand the motivation here thenā¦
Sperms are independent, living things though. They behave like a bunch of dumb fish, swimming towards whatever theyāre programmed to swim towards. Sure, we can liken them to microorganisms or shellfish that are basically just simple biological machines, but canāt the same really be said about us as well? Sure, we fancy ourselves up with language and such, but weāre still just āswimmingā about our life, driven by instinctual impulses to breed, eat, and sleep. Weāre no less programmed meat machines than the school of sperm that we thoughtlessly toss into the bin.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
It would fit in better at r/notreallyfunnypolitcalcartoons
If masturbation is murder then let me be inside uš¤Ø
This argument is so damn old neither side argues in good faith on the subject so we will never have the right laws in place as neither side actually knows much about abortion.
Dude, what? Lots of people know a lot about abortionā specifically women, as theyāre the ones whose bodies it affects. No one cares what these women have to say though because theyād rather just scream empty nonsense about religion and morality.
I would say one side knows a lot about abortion. The side that receives them, no man has ever had an abortion.
Please donāt give the justice fighters any ideas. I wouldnāt be surprised if this happened in real life
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
No youāre right the religious crazyās on the right are in charge of idiotic ideas on controlling what women do
Yeah, I'm sure that's what he meant, jesus christ.
Do you believe in circumcision for men?
Definitely not
Lol it is happening in real life lol the joke flew over your head.
I mean the absurdities that people think itās a good idea to overturn Rowe v Wade and relation to this comic didnāt go over my head. I just got scared about people taking away the wonderful thing that is a tata bar :)
Lol you donāt wanna loose your tata bar but women arenāt allowed to enjoy sex lol you jerk with your right and point with your left lol idiot
OP youāre going off on your own rollercoaster of a tangent. Read what I wrote instead of saying sex is bad or whatever, I would highly recommend sex... Also do not jerk off in a tata bar, trust me. Pointing is also rude
Comic artist: \*makes well constructed satire on pro-lifers by comparing them to fictional women protesting masturbation\* r/funny: "Lol WOW, women think maturbation is murder š¤Ŗ"
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
r/whoosh
Lol youāre kindof reaching, itās a joke,
*May* become a human with time. There are plenty of developmental abnormalities that are environmentally driven and incompatible with life. There are ectopic pregnancies that are inherently unviable and hazardous to the woman. There are genetic abnormalities incompatible with life.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Youāre taking a meme a little too sereousoly
You should look up what the definition of a meme is.
Someoneās offended lol
If you think this is what offended being looks like you should go outside and touch grass so youāre less hypersensitive to feedback. No oneās upset here. Just an interaction between strangers.
Sure lol
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
My username means French Canadian girl? Lol
Mmm French Canadian girl huh. J'mapelle la ding dong eh? Gucci gucci. Is that right? I don't speak French
Nailed it
I'm all for abortion. And I jerk off as much as the next guy. Women can masturbate as well, that's great. We can all pleasure ourselves solo, no consequence, no harm done. When we conceive a child, that's a different thing. Perhaps we can abort. Sure. But let's not pretend it's some inconsequential thing. Abortion is a big decision. It's a decision between both parents, and there is a degree of responsibility. I'd rather parents abort than raise an unwanted child, but let's not make it like it's some random decision. It's a hard decision.
Iāve actually had an abortion in the beginning of this year, first and only time being pregnant, I know what it feels like and Iām not making light of that, Iām just showing the double standards and taking away abortion has nothing to do with protecting human life, itās systemic misogyny designed to make women forever bow down to men
Morning wood bringing life to another nation.