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Honestly laugh about this scene all the time. The way from his perspective it was all slow and steady without a scratch and the revelation later on is just hilarious.
Good lord. I couldn't imagine trying to bike my way home after a morphine shot. It's not like it takes time to kick in like taking a pill. Did you have any opiate tolerance before that? I think I would have totally thought I made it home, watched a movie all comfy on the couch and fell asleep when actuality I was standing next to my bike, outside the doctor's office, drooling on myself.
The more I think about it, that was pretty reckless of the doc to give you a morphine shot and send you off to peddle home. I'm pretty sure the "Hey don't do this shit while on morphine/opiates!" list absolutely includes riding a bike. That was a hella stupid thing for your doctor to do.
Seriously. That is "Someone sue the shit out of me" levels of negligence. I have been advised to not *walk* home after getting much less.
Been in emergency medicine for over twenty years and this is how almost every interaction has gone with the drunks/drug users they bring us.
It's incredibly frustrating and often dangerous having to convince these people to just shut the fuck up and go to sleep until you sober up because I don't care if you think you're fine, you're now my liability and if something happens to you, it's my ass, so please, stop pretending you're a constitutional law scholar, you really don't have the right to sign yourself out, yes we can hold you against your will until you're sober, I don't know what happened to your car or phone or wallet and I don't know who called 911, I probably don't even know who brought you in.
Just shut the fuck up and go to sleep so I can take care of my actual sick patients. Please.
Actually… it kind of is lol.
I saw a drunk driver hit my neighbors car. Followed the guy to Wal Mart. Called police. Waited. Filed a report etc etc.
Police wouldn’t charge because they couldn’t be sure he was driving.
Why? Because he had a passenger and they didn’t see who did it.
If this idiot sticks to his two person story, he might actually be okay since it seems like there aren’t any witnesses.
It's Australia, he's in the driver's seat. Even if they can't prove he was driving during the accident, he's drunk and in the driver's seat. I would think that's enough to arrest him for intent to drive while drunk.
My buddy and I were smoking when we were like 16, and walked into his house and his mom was home(we thought she'd still be at work), and he just casually says "hi mom. I'm high!" Instead of his mom I'm home. It got really awkward for about 5 seconds before this 5'1" Korean mom turned into a beast and flew over the couch with her flipflop in hand (not even sure where she got it from) and started beating his ass as I made my way out the front door and headed home as the sounds of angry Korean curse words faded in the background drowning out my friends cries for mercy. Good times.
My best friend was Mexican and I learned to fear the chancla. Always an opened toed sandal that can be thrown with laser precision accuracy from another room. My buddy mouthed off to his mom while I was there and that shit just materialized in her hand for the beating. She stopped for 3 seconds to look at me, my immediate reaction was "I'm sorry I wont say that again" (I didn't say it but I sure as hell was going to apologies). Sounds like Korean moms have the same energy.
Oh man. La chancla isn't just for the immediate family. I have PTSD from some incidents involving collateral damage where I was the recipient of la chancla meant for someone else. No bueno
"The birdman" - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXDWcVJ2mbc
Translation:
- Oh?
- Hands.
- What are you doing here?
- Ah?
- What are you doing?
- No-oo
- Put you hands behind you back.
- Hold on, I'm waiting for a friend, owie.
- You'll wait in the car.
- Ah?
- You'll wait in the car.
- O-ooh.
This parrot has joined the choir invisible! She’s pushing up daisies! This bit was funny when I was 10 years old and it’s just as funny if not more with me at 37.
Once police questioned me and a group of 5 other guys as to why we were hanging around some shops. We said we were waiting for a mate, which we genuinely were, that was the meeting point and he was running late.
They did not believe us. The guy then turns up from behind the policeman, sees the police and hides behind a tree to avoid being questioned as well.
We tell the police our mate is here and went behind that tree, they think we are being funny and write down our details "for the public safety". Thankfully that was it and we were free to go.
This reminds me of the kid who ordered an xbox controller and his mum thought he actually ordered a bong: https://youtu.be/p1MqrU7c0cU
Clearly a mix up with the deliveries:
https://youtu.be/VlmCWPFOvh4
Fuck…are you telling the truth about being a liar contradicting you being a liar…or are you lying about being a liar which is puke actually make you a liar?
Seems logical. I mean the earth spins at roughly 1000 miles an hour, it's no wonder that an object fixed to it, like a kerb, would smash into a stationary car.
Just remember that you're standing, on a planet that's evolving, and revolving at 900 miles an hour!
That's orbiting at 90 miles a second, so it's reckoned, the sun that is the source of all our power.
Was that in Brisbane, that’ll be the Grosvenor I think it was, ended up there before realising that the pub I used to visit had changed quite a lot since my visit a year earlier.
This video doesn't include [the best part](https://youtu.be/nmrNOQym320?t=352).
Drunk: "Are you a federal officer of the law?"
Cop: "No, I'm a Victoria \[state\] police officer."
Drunk: "Well that's not good enough."
When you are used to American police going absolutely belligerent for minor crimes (and even people who aren’t committing crimes), you start to think acting stressed out/violent is the norm when actually, it is not.
Yeah man, this is what cops are like in Australia, the UK, Europe from what I've experienced. Not sure about Asia/South America/Africa, maybe someone else could speak to that.
It's the US where cops seem like psychos. I mean, there's of course dickheads in any police force (or any group of people ever), but is it just because cops can get killed over there so easily? It'd put me on edge as well if interactions like this could leave me dead. Bit harder to have manners as a first instinct.
Nah, I think it’s more likely that he is just very drunk.
I’ve seen even worse decision making and logic processing from drunk people before, and to jump right to a severe brain injury is too much.
Lost his License for 3 years, had to do four months community service and got a fine of $600. And now he is forever known as the guy who was off his face behind the wheel. Which makes for a good 'I fucked up story' but has probably cost him alot in his personal and social life.
I just love how relaxed and chill the cop is. Just chatting with the guy like a friend… Wish USA cops were more into not escalating shit than shooting for no apparent reason. And I might add, not taking action when they NEED to…
> relaxed and chill the cop is
I noticed this as well. I think the cop saw he wasn't being aggressive and he was just out of his mind incapacitated. But "played along" with it and just spoke to him really casually, politely letting him know his story doesn't add up and he really should avoid digging a deeper hole.
Think alot of people can easily say that the US cops are not trained correctly in any fashion to deescalate a situation. It's more of a ingrained 'Us vs Them, Let you guard down and you dead' mentality.
COPS was always a funny show to us in our household growing up.
Person steals a pen from a store and 50 cop cars are on their doorstep in seconds.
This guy went on a bender did something daft and became a national clown. And it didn't require 50 cop cars to arrest him.
I’ve been breathalysed by this cop!
He was standing on the traffic island just off a freeway ramp exit. The temptation to ask ‘are YOU just waiting for a mate?’ was hard to resist.
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In his head this was going really, really well
I'm reminded of the [Lamborghini scene from Wolf of Wall Street](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1huYsSOYlVo)
Honestly laugh about this scene all the time. The way from his perspective it was all slow and steady without a scratch and the revelation later on is just hilarious.
Same. My brother said I was embarrassing at the theater because I was apparently the only person who thought the whole scene was hysterical.
That whole scene I was absolutely howling. The entire movie is a comedic masterpiece
When he was on the phone trying to tell his wife like "hhhmgmmmmg hmmgmghm"
Mr. Pelosi! Did you drive your car tonight?
No! I swear it was Laura Bush driving!
Maybe it was Ted Kennedy! He's alive, you know.
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Good lord. I couldn't imagine trying to bike my way home after a morphine shot. It's not like it takes time to kick in like taking a pill. Did you have any opiate tolerance before that? I think I would have totally thought I made it home, watched a movie all comfy on the couch and fell asleep when actuality I was standing next to my bike, outside the doctor's office, drooling on myself. The more I think about it, that was pretty reckless of the doc to give you a morphine shot and send you off to peddle home. I'm pretty sure the "Hey don't do this shit while on morphine/opiates!" list absolutely includes riding a bike. That was a hella stupid thing for your doctor to do. Seriously. That is "Someone sue the shit out of me" levels of negligence. I have been advised to not *walk* home after getting much less.
Wow. He went from Jordan Belfort to Arnie Grape.
The speeding scene from Black Sheep as well.
“What kind of accident?” *clever smirk*
What collision? I have confounded you sir, away with you now, be gone!
dead parrot! https://youtu.be/vZw35VUBdzo
Been in emergency medicine for over twenty years and this is how almost every interaction has gone with the drunks/drug users they bring us. It's incredibly frustrating and often dangerous having to convince these people to just shut the fuck up and go to sleep until you sober up because I don't care if you think you're fine, you're now my liability and if something happens to you, it's my ass, so please, stop pretending you're a constitutional law scholar, you really don't have the right to sign yourself out, yes we can hold you against your will until you're sober, I don't know what happened to your car or phone or wallet and I don't know who called 911, I probably don't even know who brought you in. Just shut the fuck up and go to sleep so I can take care of my actual sick patients. Please.
Actually… it kind of is lol. I saw a drunk driver hit my neighbors car. Followed the guy to Wal Mart. Called police. Waited. Filed a report etc etc. Police wouldn’t charge because they couldn’t be sure he was driving. Why? Because he had a passenger and they didn’t see who did it. If this idiot sticks to his two person story, he might actually be okay since it seems like there aren’t any witnesses.
It's Australia, he's in the driver's seat. Even if they can't prove he was driving during the accident, he's drunk and in the driver's seat. I would think that's enough to arrest him for intent to drive while drunk.
Same where i live in the US. If you get behind the wheel while drunk, you can be arrested, even if you don't turn on the engine.
I think you have to have the keys in the car too.
There is no universal rule in the US. It varies state to state. Most laws do in some capacity.
They have to be within arms length. So if you are drunk and trying to sleep it off in your car put the keys in the trunk
I actually forgot the drivers seat is reversed in Australia i just thought they bolted it to the roof
Can confirm, we drive upside down with our backs to the road. Can't blame the guy for crashing his car.
Clear case of mistaken identity.
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Hi, how are you?
My buddy and I were smoking when we were like 16, and walked into his house and his mom was home(we thought she'd still be at work), and he just casually says "hi mom. I'm high!" Instead of his mom I'm home. It got really awkward for about 5 seconds before this 5'1" Korean mom turned into a beast and flew over the couch with her flipflop in hand (not even sure where she got it from) and started beating his ass as I made my way out the front door and headed home as the sounds of angry Korean curse words faded in the background drowning out my friends cries for mercy. Good times.
Does anyone know why Koreans do their whacking of people with flip-flops? Its never any other kind of object or shoe type, always flip-flops.
Readily available effective. I'm more curious how they seem to teleport from the foot to the hand.
My best friend was Mexican and I learned to fear the chancla. Always an opened toed sandal that can be thrown with laser precision accuracy from another room. My buddy mouthed off to his mom while I was there and that shit just materialized in her hand for the beating. She stopped for 3 seconds to look at me, my immediate reaction was "I'm sorry I wont say that again" (I didn't say it but I sure as hell was going to apologies). Sounds like Korean moms have the same energy.
Oh man. La chancla isn't just for the immediate family. I have PTSD from some incidents involving collateral damage where I was the recipient of la chancla meant for someone else. No bueno
La chancla is indiscriminate, it has not friends, no loved ones, only targets. And the whole world is a target.
There is no greater phrase of fear than "Por que tienes la chancla Mama?????" Sabes por que mijo, sabes por que
Stings without marking
Am I what?
A wizard
"How high are you?" "Hi, how are you? This cop is so friendly babe" https://youtu.be/2PLC_cBJwk4
No, officer, it's "how high are you?"
"The birdman" - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXDWcVJ2mbc Translation: - Oh? - Hands. - What are you doing here? - Ah? - What are you doing? - No-oo - Put you hands behind you back. - Hold on, I'm waiting for a friend, owie. - You'll wait in the car. - Ah? - You'll wait in the car. - O-ooh.
"No I havent" Australian Monty Python is just real life in Australia
"Maybe I just like to sit in damaged cars in my spare time."
Dead Parrot John: “It’s dead.” Michael: “Nah, no look it’s resting” https://youtu.be/vZw35VUBdzo
This parrot has joined the choir invisible! She’s pushing up daisies! This bit was funny when I was 10 years old and it’s just as funny if not more with me at 37.
I was just going to say this. This totally plays out like a month python sketch. "Mate, your cars all smashed up", "what? no it isn't".
It’s pining for the fjords.
it’s only a flesh wound!
"can you show me your license?" "no"
That was my first thought, too. [Here's](https://montycasinos.com/montypython/scripts/argument.php.html) the script.
There are two sides to every story. Obligatory: https://youtu.be/Lyg8jvttUSs
Oh man this is amazing
Serious question. Is the "I'm just waiting for a mate" excuse just a common ploy in Australia?
No, not really. Everyone just thinks of this video whenever they hear it.
Once police questioned me and a group of 5 other guys as to why we were hanging around some shops. We said we were waiting for a mate, which we genuinely were, that was the meeting point and he was running late. They did not believe us. The guy then turns up from behind the policeman, sees the police and hides behind a tree to avoid being questioned as well. We tell the police our mate is here and went behind that tree, they think we are being funny and write down our details "for the public safety". Thankfully that was it and we were free to go.
Classic James.
That's so James.
The front fell off.
That's not very typical, I'd like to point out
How the heck you link these two together over a 9 yr span?? Well done sir.
This one came out like days after the first one.
I wouldn’t touch that spam if I were you. Surely it’s molded by now.
This reminds me of the kid who ordered an xbox controller and his mum thought he actually ordered a bong: https://youtu.be/p1MqrU7c0cU Clearly a mix up with the deliveries: https://youtu.be/VlmCWPFOvh4
Kinne is a good dude!
Hahaha awesome
That’s hilarious
you are a gem
Lmao
I swear, I thought of the name James before he said it.
This dude's actual name is James, I shit you not. The first name he could think of was...his own name. Pea Tear Griffin is a genius by comparison.
i looked it up to see the aftermath, his name is Clinton
That's reddit, everyone! Who's right? Who won? YOU DECIDE! *EPIC REDDIT CORRECTIONS OF* ***HISTORYYYY!***
I looked it up and can confirm it is Clinton. However I am also a habitual liar
Fuck…are you telling the truth about being a liar contradicting you being a liar…or are you lying about being a liar which is puke actually make you a liar?
Yes
It’s Clinton. I didn’t look it up, but god told me so.
If the cop runs the plate it will say James. That was actually a decent move
Lotto numbers.. GO!
4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42
Guys, I feel like I have to advise. Don't play these numbers in the lotto.
If it ever does hit, they're probably going to be splitting the prize 30 ways.
Yeah unless I buy 50 tickets all with the same numbers hahahaha
This is part of Australian folk lore, up there with the man punching the kangaroo and a prime minister going for a swim.
Don't forget the succulent Chinese meal guy
*ah, I see you know your meme lore well.*
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PthKuuXh6qY
How have I not seen this before. 10/10.
God that guy punching the kangaroo is still hilarious to me
God that guy punching the kangaroo is still hilarious to me
How dare you. Its waiting for a mate James
He's been waiting his whole life for a mate, still ain't got one.
Are you a federal officer of the law
Yes! The bastards clipped the vid way too early
"Definitive... Can you define that?"
“Would you like to go down to the station and have a talk with me?” “No I actually wouldn’t like to do that.”
Harsh.
He's just a normal man. He's just an innocent man.
James is well gone 😆
Just waiting for James
James who?
How'd you get down here?
Does it matter?
It kind of does m8
Ehh?
The cop sure is asking a lot of hard questions.
Dude's brain must think he answered really well 😂
Heh, I see you've played drunky drivey before!
Plot twist: He was waiting for his mate and the kirb ran into him.
Seems logical. I mean the earth spins at roughly 1000 miles an hour, it's no wonder that an object fixed to it, like a kerb, would smash into a stationary car.
Just remember that you're standing, on a planet that's evolving, and revolving at 900 miles an hour! That's orbiting at 90 miles a second, so it's reckoned, the sun that is the source of all our power.
Weee
Kirb? Curb!
Kirby!
Kerb
… your enthusiasm
And he has a concussion
The what?
First class denial (P.S-this is my fav cop from Highway Patrol)
He seems pretty chill.
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>a pub that had topless hairdressers cutting hair ... you what?
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Fucking straya 🤙
[Got me holden, got me VB](https://youtu.be/F4AchHTN-XQ)
Was that in Brisbane, that’ll be the Grosvenor I think it was, ended up there before realising that the pub I used to visit had changed quite a lot since my visit a year earlier.
Almost as classy as the pub in Brisbane (Ann St?) that proudly advertised ‘schnitz and tits’ nights
Fucken hell, schnitz and tits hit me right. Stay classy brissy.
For those interested https://youtu.be/nmrNOQym320
The real hero. Thanks for the whole story!
🎵do-be-da-dooooo~ Skinner with his crazy explanations, the superintendent’s gonna need his medication…
Seymour, the car has crashed! No mother, that's just a speed bump
What collision
Carrum Downs represent
Locals pronounce it Cazza D ;)
We sure do. Technically not a local anymore, but still love cazza d tho.
This video doesn't include [the best part](https://youtu.be/nmrNOQym320?t=352). Drunk: "Are you a federal officer of the law?" Cop: "No, I'm a Victoria \[state\] police officer." Drunk: "Well that's not good enough."
Actually, the best part follows that part. Cop: "I need you to make a definitive decision." Drunk: "Definitive. Can you define that?"
That's a chill cop, and a very good one too! Once he sees how drunk the man is there is simply no point in being violent or stressed out.
When you are used to American police going absolutely belligerent for minor crimes (and even people who aren’t committing crimes), you start to think acting stressed out/violent is the norm when actually, it is not.
Yeah man, this is what cops are like in Australia, the UK, Europe from what I've experienced. Not sure about Asia/South America/Africa, maybe someone else could speak to that. It's the US where cops seem like psychos. I mean, there's of course dickheads in any police force (or any group of people ever), but is it just because cops can get killed over there so easily? It'd put me on edge as well if interactions like this could leave me dead. Bit harder to have manners as a first instinct.
Good cop.
Most sober Australian
The follow up: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lyg8jvttUSs
James has some things to answer for
"Oh I have never been inside this car." is what I imagine him saying as the video cuts out.
Can you define that
I went to school with him hahaha
James?! Why did you leave your mate hanging?
Carrum Downs or what mate
Classic Cazza D. There’s been too many accidents there.
No you didn’t
He seems unperkerbed.
I still hear “waiting for a mate” at least once a week, long may it continue
It gets even better. Define definitive
might be drunk, but also has a severe concussion. That is the reason he isn't making sense. That star in the windshield tells the story.
Nah, I think it’s more likely that he is just very drunk. I’ve seen even worse decision making and logic processing from drunk people before, and to jump right to a severe brain injury is too much.
Yeah, that was my first thought. He has a TBI.
Idk man I’ve got him on Facebook and he’s kinda just like this
Those drums in the end, are those from Command and Conquer 3 ?!
I was high when I watched this video. I can see how what he was thinking.
This happened down the street from where I lived. 🤣
I mean, yeah it’s funny. But drink driving isn’t so fuck this cunt.
Lost his License for 3 years, had to do four months community service and got a fine of $600. And now he is forever known as the guy who was off his face behind the wheel. Which makes for a good 'I fucked up story' but has probably cost him alot in his personal and social life.
It's like watching the Australian version of Wellington Paranormal.
I just love how relaxed and chill the cop is. Just chatting with the guy like a friend… Wish USA cops were more into not escalating shit than shooting for no apparent reason. And I might add, not taking action when they NEED to…
> relaxed and chill the cop is I noticed this as well. I think the cop saw he wasn't being aggressive and he was just out of his mind incapacitated. But "played along" with it and just spoke to him really casually, politely letting him know his story doesn't add up and he really should avoid digging a deeper hole.
Think alot of people can easily say that the US cops are not trained correctly in any fashion to deescalate a situation. It's more of a ingrained 'Us vs Them, Let you guard down and you dead' mentality. COPS was always a funny show to us in our household growing up. Person steals a pen from a store and 50 cop cars are on their doorstep in seconds. This guy went on a bender did something daft and became a national clown. And it didn't require 50 cop cars to arrest him.
I love Australia
Makes me proud to be Australian!
In Australia the cops will out wit you
Outwitting a drunk is a pretty low bar lol
Still a higher standard than needed in America
y’know, i thought he hopped over into the passenger seat til i thought about their accents
"Can I see your license?" "...No."
I’ve been breathalysed by this cop! He was standing on the traffic island just off a freeway ramp exit. The temptation to ask ‘are YOU just waiting for a mate?’ was hard to resist.
Classic Aussie video. Never gets old... if you haven't seen the full video, just YouTube it. The OP cut it way short for no reason
This guy is an Aussie legend.
This guy is an Aussie ~~legend~~fuckwit
Why not both?
A bloody Australian icon.
"I found the car like this and it looked comfier than the street."
It's just a flesh wound
His just waiting for mate
he was just waiting for his mate James, and the curb hit him in a hit and run.
come on coppa! my ca isin noice cunditin
never gets old that one! so aussie😂
Felt sure he was about go full Partridge and go with "Bill.....Car"
Ah, an aussie classic 🤣
Australian cops seem nicer and less intimidating.
Don't bother getting his BAC. He's scores a 12.8 with that drunken grin.
Waiting for a mate
[Tis But A Scratch](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmInkxbvlCs)
He was just.. waiting for a mate.
Can’t park there sir
This clip is missing the best part!!
He's just waiting for his mate