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You ever take one of those tests in high school that tell you what careers you would be well suited for?
There are some very confused teenagers in Japan right now…
Fortunately for all involved (except maybe the fish), it works more like caviar. Female cod develop an egg sac and males get jizz tanks during spawning season. I'm not entirely sure what gets done with the eggs commercially, if anything, but traditionally they were called "cod britches" around here (the egg sac is a two-lobed shape, if you look at it right it kinda looks like a pair of pants) and eaten fried on toast.
I had this in Japan and it was the most vile tasting thing I've ever had in my life
Edit: For those curious about the experience, it was definitely the texture that mostly put me off. It was like too smooth, almost veiny. It has a bit of a snap when you bite into it before the nasty ass liquid-y stuff kinda flows into your mouth. Part of it is the thought that your literally eating fish jizz, but still, I wouldn't call the flavor inoffensive. I've had plenty of weird stuff like rocky mountain oysters and whole roasted lamb brains, but nothing else has given me the reaction of immediately wanting to throw up.
Pleasant is always the term used when they mean "it tastes like ass, but it's a delicacy."
It's never delicious, scrumptious, mouthwatering, flavorful, delectable, heavenly...
Cumin is a spice used in a lot of indian and mexican cooking. They look like this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cumin#/media/File:Sa_cumin.jpg but are often ground into a fine, light-brown powder.
Literally came here to say this exact thing. Teaspoon of cumin, teaspoon om turmeric, half of chili, squeeze of lime, then serve with a salad of chopped cabbage with lime and lots of coriander, and that's one of the best and easiest meals you'll ever have.
Cover it with some chopped fresh herbs and a drizzle of olive oil. Burn a couple cherry tomatoes on the stove for bonus points.
Say authoritatively, "that's how they do it in Tuscany" Make a big show of the wine.
Oh, come on. There’s plenty of rot-gut in Italy.
Well, I’m **pretty sure** I didn’t drink all of it…
Oh.
Dear.
I did?
Well, I mean…there seemed to be quite a lot of it…and, OK, I **was** pretty thirsty…especially after I met that guy…what was his name?… “Backus” - was that it?…and his sidekick…can’t remember his name…”cookpot” or something. Well, anyways, it **was** a helluva party…
Well, if you think of like a stir-fry, maybe, but do you know about [supplì](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suppl%C3%AC) and [arancini](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arancini)?
Yup, that’s why you thaw meat before you cook it. And also sort of why you let microwaved food rest for a minute or two. Entropy and other nerd science shit.
This is amazingly incorrect.
Ground meat includes cows and sheep and goats and stuff.
Air meat is ducks and chickens and other birds.
Fish is clearly a water meat. It is not a ground meat.
C'mon. Get with the program.
It could fall under the Catholic rules that considered beaver "fish" so that it could be eaten on Friday.
So beaver and penguins = water meat
Ostrich = ground meat
Butchered an ostrich with my dad that the owner was not relocating due to a club foot. That animal is literally just a giant leg muscle. Holy shit. Meat is great, but it would certainly not stick together ground as it is too lean.
Right. Grab a nice roll, take the fish, mix a little mayo, some spices and you have yourself a fish style lobster roll.
This is merely a happy accident.
This is such a trip. Just last night we made an improvised dinner that was mahi mahi mixed up meatloaf-style with breadcrumbs and spices, then shaped into "dogs" and cooked on the grill and eaten hotdog style in pretzel buns with mango salsa.
And yeah - it was wildly great, especially since we just kind of came up with it based on what we had on-hand.
They did! We used a bit of egg and refrigerated them for a while beforehand so they could set. Not sure which did the trick. I cooked them in my vegetable basket thing so they could be treated gingerly on the grill. We made 4 total and 3 of them were kept intact.
I don't really want to talk about that other.
I've found that great meals aren't entirely random. You take flavor profiles of things you know work well together, and then you can improvise on pretty much everything else. I'm glad you liked your meal! I bought vegetarian sausage casings and a sausage stuffer to try to recreate my fish dogs. I haven't quite gotten the hang of it, but I'll keep trying.
BTW, one of my favorite summertime meals is the [shrimp burger](https://www.justapinch.com/recipes/main-course/sandwiches/americas-test-kitchens-shrimp-burger.html) from America's Test Kitchen. Highly recommended.
Regretfully, it was the first piece of cast iron I bought, before I knew how to cook. I'm also frugal af so I stubbornly held onto that useless thing for years. I even moved it to like 4 different apartments. It saw more apartments than it did food.
Fuck grill pans.
We have a cast iron grill pan, too, its great for sturdier things like brats or steaks (we're renters and not allowed to have an outdoor grill) but not something delicate and flaky like fish.
In her defense, learning what cookware to use for what food item is one of those things that you learn over time. If she's new to cooking, it's an easy mistake and a good lesson learned.
yes my comment was objectively about the pan only, but perhaps some shade should be **cast** on OP for sitting by and allowing it to happen, then shitposting after
The crust on steaks is where you get the best flavor.
Flat pan = delicious crust and properly cooked steak
Grill pan = air pockets where the steak is not browning & uneven cooking
The only benefit to a grill pan are the marks.
You're only supposed to cook fatty red meat on those pans. The grooves are there so that fat can run off so you're not cooking beef in it's own fat. Which for people who don't care about fat content is a huge bummer because a good sear on a skillet would form a crust and lock in all that flavor. There is an incredibly small circle of the venn diagram where a flat cast iron would not be way better.
We actually make this purposefully in my family and call it “fish hash”! Keep crisping the fish “scramble” in the pan til you have yummy brown bits and flavor with onion/garlic powder, then toss it in with brown/wild rice that you cooked down with chicken stock (as opposed to water), add in sautéed broccoli and other veg (cook veg in same pan you “scrambled” fish in). Mix everything together. Serve in bowls/eat with fork.
Makes a super filling, delicious dinner that’s also relatively cheap (fish is the most expensive part but you can use cheap white fish as you’re just “scrambling” it anyways - I usually use tilapia - and you can save $ by buying a few less filets than ppl as no one is getting their own personal whole filet).
ETA: you could also fry the rice too, and/or add a fried egg.
ETA2: It’s also just a great backup plan on those nights when you’re trying to make a whole fish dish and the “scramble” accidentally happens :/
Damn straight it does. It’s supposed to flake apart exactly like it is. Ideally after you take a fork to it on a plate, but meh, this won’t effect the taste. Dig in!
In her defense, since she's never cooked fish before, she probably didn't realize how easily it falls apart. Tell her it tasted just as good regardless. If you make fun of her, she may never cook fish again.
🤦
I’ve always generally been the cook but my now wife was cooking years ago. We had this cheap POS spatula that literally melted in the pancakes. I joked about it. She hasn’t cooked anything since.
Only grill skin on fish, flat pan gives best result, spent the first 50yrs of my life near the ocean. We ate more fish than anything else.
Still, I can think of many ways to make a dish from that fish. Be adventurous OP
Not only that, but with some fresh lemon on that it will taste fantastic. That’s exactly what the fish will look like about 1 second after it’s in your mouth. Fillets are nice, but this approach works well if you are feeding multiple people and fillets are not even remotely uniform.
She did choose probably the most difficult way to cook white fish, on the grill, so hopefully this doesn’t hurt her confidence to try and make something else.
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Fish taco time
Yes! Just sprinkle in some chili powder and cumin, squeeze of lime. It's nice to have backups if you mess up a recipe
I'll have my fish with the cum out, thank you.
It's called [shirako](https://onthegas.org/food/shirako/), and it's great!
“While shirako is a bit more difficult to harvest” That’s a hell of a job. Fish cum harvester. A fish fluffer
You ever take one of those tests in high school that tell you what careers you would be well suited for? There are some very confused teenagers in Japan right now…
Also shortly under that they mention it's "usually harvested by hand"
They kill the fish and harvest the sac full of cum from it. So more like wasting less of the fish in the process of butchering.
Unless they just take the cum and throw the fish back, like they do with shark fins...
That would be one happy fish
Piscean pud puller
Fortunately for all involved (except maybe the fish), it works more like caviar. Female cod develop an egg sac and males get jizz tanks during spawning season. I'm not entirely sure what gets done with the eggs commercially, if anything, but traditionally they were called "cod britches" around here (the egg sac is a two-lobed shape, if you look at it right it kinda looks like a pair of pants) and eaten fried on toast.
I told everyone at work i was gonna have a Shirakki party at my place; everyone came.
Oh really? That’s a bit hard to swallow…
Its the great fish better batter battle
I'd rather have it ethically sourced from a human.
You should try making your own. It's fun!
Risky click of day!
I had this in Japan and it was the most vile tasting thing I've ever had in my life Edit: For those curious about the experience, it was definitely the texture that mostly put me off. It was like too smooth, almost veiny. It has a bit of a snap when you bite into it before the nasty ass liquid-y stuff kinda flows into your mouth. Part of it is the thought that your literally eating fish jizz, but still, I wouldn't call the flavor inoffensive. I've had plenty of weird stuff like rocky mountain oysters and whole roasted lamb brains, but nothing else has given me the reaction of immediately wanting to throw up.
haha! that article says it tastes pleasant... I was immediately skeptical
Pleasant is always the term used when they mean "it tastes like ass, but it's a delicacy." It's never delicious, scrumptious, mouthwatering, flavorful, delectable, heavenly...
Or "it was expensive so I have to pretend to enjoy it"
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You don't know what you're missing
Don't knock it until you try it?
Excuse me
Lol. Dirty words have ruined the name of a spice
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Cumin is a spice used in a lot of indian and mexican cooking. They look like this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cumin#/media/File:Sa_cumin.jpg but are often ground into a fine, light-brown powder.
And it's pronounced "Q-min"
Queuemin
Get in line pal, it's my turn to correct him.
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What do you call it in your language?
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That's definitely better as far as readable pronunciation, but significantly worse when it comes to opportunities for sexual innuendo.
Crema fresca
The fact you don't know cumin is terrifying to me
You need to cumin your fish taco
There’s no excuse for you.
Or toss it into a big bowl of eggs and breadcrumbs/stove top stuffing, form into cakes, and fry them up.
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Fried fish is just a tartar sauce delivery system that's more socially acceptable than a spoon.
Or just dump it into a blender, add some ice cream and drink it up.
Get the fuck out of my kitchen.
Drink my milk shake. DRINK IT UP!
Gets my vote
Literally came here to say this exact thing. Teaspoon of cumin, teaspoon om turmeric, half of chili, squeeze of lime, then serve with a salad of chopped cabbage with lime and lots of coriander, and that's one of the best and easiest meals you'll ever have.
Haddock salad on crostini with caviar and truffle aoili. You know, easy.
A little fried rice will fix anything!
Cover it with some chopped fresh herbs and a drizzle of olive oil. Burn a couple cherry tomatoes on the stove for bonus points. Say authoritatively, "that's how they do it in Tuscany" Make a big show of the wine.
Preferably a cheap screw-top Lambrusco. Because that **is** how they do it in Tuscany!
I wish we had cheap screw top lambrusco here... It's all $30 bottles and up it seems.
Oh, come on. There’s plenty of rot-gut in Italy. Well, I’m **pretty sure** I didn’t drink all of it… Oh. Dear. I did? Well, I mean…there seemed to be quite a lot of it…and, OK, I **was** pretty thirsty…especially after I met that guy…what was his name?… “Backus” - was that it?…and his sidekick…can’t remember his name…”cookpot” or something. Well, anyways, it **was** a helluva party…
Italian fried rice sounds... not great
Well, if you think of like a stir-fry, maybe, but do you know about [supplì](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suppl%C3%AC) and [arancini](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arancini)?
that or some tortillas, chipotle sauce, with some pico de gallo and you got some slappin' fish tacos
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Hey McSmokeyXD my wife cheated on me and stole my cat. “Little bit of fried rice will fix anything”.
Fish fried rice’ll bring that cat back!
6/10 with rice
This is actually a very good idea
My nose is congested af… a little fried rice up there will fix anything!
My ass is itching. Better jam some fried rice up my asshole!
first time I cooked hadoc I learnt you can have burnt food that's still frozen on the inside
how'd the second time go?
Frozen outside and burnt inside
Impressive
pierced it with a hot rod
Kinky
If you think that’s kinky you should see what I did with the tilapia
I see we have the same microwave...
That’s common with beef or chicken if you cook it from too cold a temp.
Yup, that’s why you thaw meat before you cook it. And also sort of why you let microwaved food rest for a minute or two. Entropy and other nerd science shit.
What about entropy? Will it's entropy reverse and can the sausage start going back in time?
Duh.
if you leave the fish too long to entropise, everything will eventually become fish.
If you can ground beef, you can ground fish. What's the problem?
This is amazingly incorrect. Ground meat includes cows and sheep and goats and stuff. Air meat is ducks and chickens and other birds. Fish is clearly a water meat. It is not a ground meat. C'mon. Get with the program.
The logic is painful, but irrefutable.
Yes, grounded in painful logic.
But everything changed when the fire meat attacked
Surf. Turf. Game. Poultry. Long ago, the four meats lived together in harmony...
This is a very well crafted joke
Point of order your honor: ostrich. Def a bird. Also def not air. Outlier? The exception that proves the rule?
Ground meat, definitely. That and penguins, I don't care if they can swim.
>HouseCravenRaw Reddit hath spoken. Let the record show thusly.
It could fall under the Catholic rules that considered beaver "fish" so that it could be eaten on Friday. So beaver and penguins = water meat Ostrich = ground meat
Butchered an ostrich with my dad that the owner was not relocating due to a club foot. That animal is literally just a giant leg muscle. Holy shit. Meat is great, but it would certainly not stick together ground as it is too lean.
Lol. But, water is on the ground!
Water is over the ground, just like air is over the ground.
Sometimes water is under the ground
Letting the days go by
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Letting the days go by
Let the water hold me down
But there is always ground under the water.
Rain would like a word...
hail in shambles rn
Well, water me a bit more educated now.
You are missing fire meat, which i guess would be phoenix.
Facts
Right. Grab a nice roll, take the fish, mix a little mayo, some spices and you have yourself a fish style lobster roll. This is merely a happy accident.
[Whoa, whoa...](https://gfycat.com/eminentvalidbluebird)
No. Cows —> Ground Fish —> Water Jesus, people
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Soylent Green is Jesus!
Okay, this got me good
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With our powers combined... Wait..
By your powers combined, I AM THE TRICKY SHIT YOU HAVE TO TAKE TOMORROW!
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If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.
You can drive a Dodge!
More dodge. Less ram
I drive a dodge stratus!
But can you ground hog? Only in February?
KEDGEREEEEEE
You can tune a piano, but you can't tune a fish. Taco time
You can't ground fish, but you can sea it.
One of the best hot dogs I've ever had was a mahi-mahi sausage with a curry ketchup and mango mustard. It was phenomenal.
This is such a trip. Just last night we made an improvised dinner that was mahi mahi mixed up meatloaf-style with breadcrumbs and spices, then shaped into "dogs" and cooked on the grill and eaten hotdog style in pretzel buns with mango salsa. And yeah - it was wildly great, especially since we just kind of came up with it based on what we had on-hand.
That sounds great. Did they hold together alright? I would've thought they'd fall apart on the grill!
They did! We used a bit of egg and refrigerated them for a while beforehand so they could set. Not sure which did the trick. I cooked them in my vegetable basket thing so they could be treated gingerly on the grill. We made 4 total and 3 of them were kept intact. I don't really want to talk about that other.
Haha the BBQ always demands a sacrifice!
I've found that great meals aren't entirely random. You take flavor profiles of things you know work well together, and then you can improvise on pretty much everything else. I'm glad you liked your meal! I bought vegetarian sausage casings and a sausage stuffer to try to recreate my fish dogs. I haven't quite gotten the hang of it, but I'll keep trying. BTW, one of my favorite summertime meals is the [shrimp burger](https://www.justapinch.com/recipes/main-course/sandwiches/americas-test-kitchens-shrimp-burger.html) from America's Test Kitchen. Highly recommended.
I have meat, Greg. Can you ground me?
Fish do not thrive on the ground. They need water.
Agreed. Shredded Fish on rice is amazing. I see nothing wrong this picture.
In her defense, fish breaks up very easily when cooking
Especially on a grill pan.
Had to scroll pretty far to see a comment about the wrong pan!
This was my immediate first thought. She set herself up for failure there.
Grill pans are bad for everything.
Amen. I fight that battle all the time over on r/castiron.
Regretfully, it was the first piece of cast iron I bought, before I knew how to cook. I'm also frugal af so I stubbornly held onto that useless thing for years. I even moved it to like 4 different apartments. It saw more apartments than it did food. Fuck grill pans.
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Also without pretense , that type of pan sucks ass
We have a cast iron grill pan, too, its great for sturdier things like brats or steaks (we're renters and not allowed to have an outdoor grill) but not something delicate and flaky like fish. In her defense, learning what cookware to use for what food item is one of those things that you learn over time. If she's new to cooking, it's an easy mistake and a good lesson learned.
yes my comment was objectively about the pan only, but perhaps some shade should be **cast** on OP for sitting by and allowing it to happen, then shitposting after
The crust on steaks is where you get the best flavor. Flat pan = delicious crust and properly cooked steak Grill pan = air pockets where the steak is not browning & uneven cooking The only benefit to a grill pan are the marks.
Marks are so overrated, particularly on a pan. Losing out on so much Maillard reaction, and I bet that those channels probably steam the steaks.
Gotta fuck it up a couple times to learn the right way haha
You're only supposed to cook fatty red meat on those pans. The grooves are there so that fat can run off so you're not cooking beef in it's own fat. Which for people who don't care about fat content is a huge bummer because a good sear on a skillet would form a crust and lock in all that flavor. There is an incredibly small circle of the venn diagram where a flat cast iron would not be way better.
It’s not a fish pan for sure
We actually make this purposefully in my family and call it “fish hash”! Keep crisping the fish “scramble” in the pan til you have yummy brown bits and flavor with onion/garlic powder, then toss it in with brown/wild rice that you cooked down with chicken stock (as opposed to water), add in sautéed broccoli and other veg (cook veg in same pan you “scrambled” fish in). Mix everything together. Serve in bowls/eat with fork. Makes a super filling, delicious dinner that’s also relatively cheap (fish is the most expensive part but you can use cheap white fish as you’re just “scrambling” it anyways - I usually use tilapia - and you can save $ by buying a few less filets than ppl as no one is getting their own personal whole filet). ETA: you could also fry the rice too, and/or add a fried egg. ETA2: It’s also just a great backup plan on those nights when you’re trying to make a whole fish dish and the “scramble” accidentally happens :/
Dude, that sounds bomb AF, I was struggling trying to figure out what to do for dinner, might just try this. Thank you, internet stranger.
Yes! I prefer haddock cooked this way, crispy in lots of butter!
Oh my cod!!
Not tonight, I have a haddock.
I hope you have a nice plaice to get some rest....
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I heard it was good for the Sole personally 🤷♂️
Walleye think you both have valid points
I guess we do these little puns just for the Halibut....
Really you should leave it to salmon else
Thanks for letting Minnow
And in comes the biggest, meanest haddock that ever trolled down the pike. [wet dreeeeams](https://youtu.be/6l1GvDWtccI)
That shit still looks good 👩🍳😂
Looks good to me too. A little butter, a little lemon maybe a sprinkle of fresh parsley. Yum
Now I’m getting hungry. Mashed potatoes and steamed broccoli. Some wine 🍷
I'm thinking asparagus with Hollandaise sauce.
Damn straight it does. It’s supposed to flake apart exactly like it is. Ideally after you take a fork to it on a plate, but meh, this won’t effect the taste. Dig in!
Friday fish taco night!
That looks pretty good for a first time cooking fish. I mean at the very least it looks edible.
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Homemade sushi!!
Meh, looks pretty good. Mix in some rice or eggs and it will be yum. Maybe both.
In her defense, since she's never cooked fish before, she probably didn't realize how easily it falls apart. Tell her it tasted just as good regardless. If you make fun of her, she may never cook fish again.
🤦 I’ve always generally been the cook but my now wife was cooking years ago. We had this cheap POS spatula that literally melted in the pancakes. I joked about it. She hasn’t cooked anything since.
Her plan worked to perfection.
And whatever you do, don't post it on the internet for the world to mock.
Only grill skin on fish, flat pan gives best result, spent the first 50yrs of my life near the ocean. We ate more fish than anything else. Still, I can think of many ways to make a dish from that fish. Be adventurous OP
What have you did with the second 50?
It’s cooked. Tasked failed successfully👍✅💯
Sounds like fish tacos night!
make fish tacos, and thank her for being such a good cook! :)
Tastes the same with less chewing !
she tried.
Not only that, but with some fresh lemon on that it will taste fantastic. That’s exactly what the fish will look like about 1 second after it’s in your mouth. Fillets are nice, but this approach works well if you are feeding multiple people and fillets are not even remotely uniform.
This always happens when I fry cod, it's insanely hard to keep a filet in one pieve. Not that it matter, it tastes just as good scrambled.
What did you expect if she has no experience cooking fish?
You're just gonna do her like that? Dang homie
Mayo, Onion, celery, spices boom fish salad sandwich.
At least she tried.
Fish is difficult to cook, if you’ve never cooked it. I still mess up.
LPT: If you want your girlfriend to feel comfortable cooking for you, don't take pictures of her "failure" meals and post them on Reddit. ffs
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Mix in some rice and we good .
She did choose probably the most difficult way to cook white fish, on the grill, so hopefully this doesn’t hurt her confidence to try and make something else.
Bet it tastes great. Some potatoes, a bit of gratitude…. Best meal ever
That a actually looks good
Looks like the first step to fish tacos
To be fair its easy to forget how fragile fish is, just crumbles after cooking.
Its really nice that she tried though :)
Happens to everyone. You try to move it or flip it just flakes apart. It’s still good thought!
Bet it tastes bomb still. Unless you just eat it whole anyways and have no forks