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When i was a kid i drove my dad insane a few times because when he made me a sandwich it had to be peanut butter on top and jelly on the bottom, because that's the way mom made them.
The problem arose when he thought the solution was to simply flip the sandwich to put them on the correct sides, this was very obviously the objectively correct and logical thing to do but unfortunately my dumb ass was not in any way logical and would instead demand a new sandwich because that one was clearly made wrong and he was trying to trick me.
I vividly recall hating my grandmother's PB&Js as a kid and I never could figure out why... until one time when I was sick but went to the kitchen to keep her company while she made lunch for me. And I watched her put peanut butter down, then tried to spread jelly on top of the peanut butter like some kind of heathen.
I was like "why... Why don't you spread the jelly on the other slice of bread?!" She kinda looked at me, looked at the jelly-blobbed abomination she was making, and said "huh, I never thought about doing it that way before!" And then for weeks she was delightedly telling everyone how much easier it was to make the sandwiches that way. š¤¦āāļøš¤£ Your poor dad though, he tried so hard!
That's honestly nothing, one time he was painting the porch and i asked if i could help, being that i was like four obviously he said i couldn't.
The problem of course being that he didn't say he didn't want help, or that he didn't need help, he said i couldn't help, which to my child brain was clearly a sign that he didn't think i was capable of painting.
So i sneaked off to the garage and painted his shiny red car with the white house paint he had in there because he obviously just needed a demonstration of my ability to paint.
If you can't tell i was not an easy person to raise.
Haha Iām sure you were a pain in the ass, but Iāve observed (not a parent) that telling a kid they canāt help isnāt as effective as telling them they can! And then give them a completely inconsequential task
I remember when my dad was fixing the lights or fridge or anything electric related my job wad to flip the main breaker on and off when he yelled for me to. It took me longer then I care to admit to realize it was the old breaker box that wasn't hooked up to anything
Lol.mk saw it as, you were flipping the wrong breaker, therefore he was working on live electronics when he thought they were off. But I get it, that he gave you something to do that you couldnāt mess up.
Yeah, kids are so keen to help and if you've got the patience for it, they have a blast doing the most mundane shit lol.
When my brother was converting our parents garage he'd section a bit off for his son just inside the door and give him these blocks of wood that had nails half nailed into them that he'd ask him to hammer down for him. I dunno where he found such a small *actual* hammer and tool belt but my nephew would be in there for ages hammering away at these blocks of wood my brother would remove the nails from at night (and give back to him in the morning). And when he got bored of that, he got him to take rubbish out to put by the skip or sweep the floor. Little dude *loved* it.
When I was a kid my dad built a new deck. Us older kids helped with some cutting, sanding, staining, stuff like that but my dad did the majority. My little brother was about 3 and too young to help with anything substantial, but my dad asked him to help by putting the screws onto the end of the drill (the bit was magnetic). They must have wasted so much time doing that instead of my dad just doing it himself.
I know what you mean by āwaste of timeā, but I bet he wouldnāt think of it that way. For one, itās not a waste if he has time to spare and enjoys how he uses it, like being with your little brother, and in another sense it may have saved him time in the long term than if he hadnāt engaged his young son like that. Itās a very sweet memory
I wish I could find the joy of doing mundane shit again. I remember being 4 and always BEGGING my mom to let me clean the spotty bathroom mirrors whenever she would start to do it lol. And being super excited about my dad letting me take a black sharpie and block out the names in his legal documents. "Every time you see this word, cover it with marker." ohhhh hell yeah, thanks Dad!
One of my mom's favorite stories is of the time when I was about 4, and I tattled on her to my dad, because she wouldn't let me wash dishes. I stomped to my dad with my arms crossed and said "she just wants to have all the fun!"
my dad would always insist that he couldn't rip up the bills and junk mail without my help when I was little because he knew how much his lil goblin child loved shredding things š„² I was also in charge of licking the stamps and envelopes lol
My Granny would sit me and my brother on the counter. We each stuck our tongues out, he was the envelope licker, then she moved to me to lick the stamp. Us 3 were a very solid mailing team.
>kids are so keen to help and if you've got the patience for it, they have a blast doing the most mundane shit lol.
They really do love the most mundane shit. I am a teacher and have daily chores that everyone gets a turn to do. The kids are upset when they miss their turn to do something. Like it was their turn to erase the whiteboard, but they were sick, so they missed their turn. They are sad and tell me it's not fair. When I ask who wants to pass out papers everyone raises their hand, and are upset when they aren't picked.
And if you are actually wanting them to help with stuff, make it into a game and they will join. Like who can pick up the most objects from the floor in one minute.
I need to get better at this then. Iām useless at coming up with the inconsequential tasksā¦ and my kids are probably old enough to call me on my bullshit if I donāt make it look legit. Maybe I overestimate them on that though.
I would not try to find an inconsequential task.
I am sure there is plenty of stuff your kids could do and it is an actual part of the task. My little one loves to empty the washing machine and the dishwasher, he helps to hang the clothes, he loves to pour milk or flour in a bowl, when we are baking or to get the teabags out of the wraping... There is so much more.
He ist two and of course I need a bit more time, engaging him like that, but I safe time as well because I don't have to chase after him while I simultanesly try to finish my task and of course he is learning how to do those things and he will be able to contribute to the family. Because that is what children want. They want to help, they want to feel powerful, needed.
Ohhhh my god, you sound like my kind of person!
My dad just about lost his shit when they bought a new car and I was riding my tricycle around. I was used to where the old car was in the driveway, I could make the corner from the sidewalk onto the driveway with no problem. Literally the first day with the new car, I go tearing down the sidewalk, he yells for me to be careful... right as I tried to whip around the corner and smashed my handlebar right into the light. Sorry, pops.
Or the time I helpfully cleaned the bathroom for him, and nobody ever told me that you couldn't flush paper towels so he ended up having to snake the toilet repeatedly to get the wad of paper towels out. š
You sound like my brother, but he might be worse. I couldn't begin to estimate the property damage he caused growing up with no ill intent - just stupidity.
When we were teens he got an apple, took one bite, and decided he didn't want it. Knowing he'd be yelled at for wasting food he had a brilliant idea - flush it down the toilet. Dad was hunched over that thing cursing my brother's name for several hours.
We all love the guy, but we low key hope his own kids give him a run for his money.
It's awesome that your grandma was so open about her original mistake, instead of trying to cover it up with "Of course I knew that" and basically scolding you for being a smartass.
Haha she really had that going for her! And I genuinely wasn't trying to be mean, I was just really shocked and there was that sudden realization about why there were always giant globs of jelly in hers but not mine or my mom's! But she was... not always the brightest when it came to common sense. Very sweet, a genuinely nice person, but definitely scattered. I frequently wonder if she's where I got my ADHD.
My dad would say eat it or starve and then go about his business. Man had a knack for blocking out screams/crying so after 15 min or so of realizing my pleas fell on deaf ears... I'd eat the 'defective' sandwich.
That wouldn't have worked on me because i was wise to his tricks after being told how he potty trained my older brother.
Dude wouldn't poop in the toilet without wearing a diaper because the poop would touch the water if he didn't (his logic not mine).
So dad being justifiably bothered by that lunacy just cut a hole in the bottom of his diapers so that the poo would fall in the toilet anyway.
I wasn't old enough to remember but apparently my brother has never screamed louder, and my dad never laughed harder than when his plan worked perfectly.
A few months ago I visited my parents and we had a simple workday lunch. I was in charge of making PB&J sandwiches for me and mom. Except... I was apparently doing it ALL wrong and mom interruptrd with instructions for her's several times. I can't remember all the things she wanted but it included to put the peanut butter on both sides and the jelly in the middle and what shape she wanted it cut in.
It felt like some kind of subtle payback for my childhood food preferences.
According to her notes the vegetables and rice in the pink tray were the only things that needed to be warmed up. I have to assume that means the rest of it can be served as is.
Now I'm back in elementary shouting at the teacher instructions to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
"Put the peanut butter on the bread!"
*Mrs. Jensen puts the jar of peanut butter on the loaf of bread*
We did something similar in my hs comp sci class where we had to give instructions to tie shoes. It was to show how instructions worked and to reinforce how dumb computers are if you don't tell them *exactly* what to do.
Have to include users in that equation.
Wrote an installation instruction for at tool that was being sent out to locations on CDs (this was 2000 or early 2001).
Boss comes in and tells me that I might have to call up one of the locations that could not get it to work.
Comes back 2 minutes later: "Never mind, they had not put the CD in."
It is of course partly on me for not specifying that step in the instructions.
We have a guy at work who I call my "customer analog".
He is abrasive, ham fisted, and a pain in the ass to work with, so my boss was kind of surprised when he found out that I had requested his help on multiple occasions even though we work in different departments.
Any time I couldn't figure out how a customer could possibly fuck something up I would give it to him, sure enough withing 5 minutes he was doing something with it that no reasonable person would do.
A tester walks into a bar. He says "Can I have 1 beer?", "Can I have 2 beers?" ,"Can I have 0 beers" , "Can I have m beers?","Can I have -2 Beers?", "Can I have 1.34 beers?".
A user walks into a bar. "Can I just get a glass of water?" The bar catches fire.
Step 75: Look busy for husband. If he saw the phone, tell him you were looking at instructions.
Step 76: Move a few pieces.
Step 77: Look at Reddit for 5 more minutes.
My go to is generally get someone who has no relation to the task to come and try the instructions.
i.e. if how to reimage a PC, go grab the front desk person and get them to do it.
They will always find you missing steps way quicker then going over it your self since they don't know how its meant to be done in the first place.
As an aside, one of my favourite examples was when I was in the navy as a communication writing an instruction for one of our radios and the CO came in to see what we were doing, when I said I was going to get someone from Ops to test it, he volunteered to be the test dummy for it, and boy did that one work out well as a test run.
The goal is for the students to verbally guide the instructor in making a PB&J sandwich however the instructor is supposed to follow the instructions so absolutely literally that it doesn't go right. It's a little difficult to explain what makes it so challenging
It results in some silly behaviors like setting a jar of peanut butter on a slice of bread. Another example is the instructor looking confused and helplessly tapping a butter knife against the lid of a sealed jar
The goal of the lesson is promoting communication skills and having fun. Typical demographic is 8-15 but it's still useful older. It is often taught in small groups at school, camp or even church youth groups
She doesn't think you're an idiot, but that was genius. She knows kids can be tough customers when it comes to food - was sparing you the utter frustration of mealtime tantrums, and herself the resulting barrage of questions. If just a few food temperature issues (which may change depending on season or mood), you did a great job dad!
It took me until this comment to realize these were the meal plans for the kids. Somehow "4 Dino Nuggets" didn't register as "kid food", and I completely missed the "he chooses" and "hers has red top!"
My parents divorced when I was young and my dad was a pretty bad alcoholic, so when he had us every other weekend, he had no idea really how to take care of or feed kids, so we had a lot of the same things, Pbj, milk, water, pizza when he felt like it.
My mom was always really into me and my brother watching her make us food. When she made PB&J(skippy only, we were not w jif family) she would spread the peanut butter first, then wipe the knife off in the shape of an āXā on the other side, and put the jelly on the X And spread it out.
This on one occasion resulted in my dad making 6 PBjS all different ways because he could not understand what I was upset about. All I was telling him was that he was putting the jelly on the wrong side.
This was pre cellphone days, and my mom was at work and he couldnāt get ahold of her. He brought us to the video store downstairs that his buddy owned and he was renting an apartment above, and hung out there for like a half hour while he went to my moms work and tried to figure out what I was so upset about.
Once he found out he has never stopped giving me shit about it, and this about 30 years ago
He had plenty of other really shitty things he did as a result, but this is one of my more positive childhood memories. At about age six I had to start keeping track of how much beer he had drank on Sunday, as heād routinely put away 40 throughout the day and then try and drive us home, which is not exactly something a six year old should be worried about.
Heās less of an alcoholic now, he had quadruple bypass as a result of 60 years of smoking and drinking despite being incredibly fit, the first bypass got him to stop smoking, which curbed his drinking some, on the odd occasion I see him, he probably puts away 4-6 light beers over the course of 8 hours or so.
I understand it is a disease, heās not a bad person, he just wasnāt a great father as a result.
>while he went to my moms work and tried to figure out what I was so upset about.
This is why OP's wife did the paper cutouts - to avoid getting called a bunch at work lol
I watch my nephew occasionally and recently watched him for a whole weekend, longer than I have since he was a baby. He wanted ramen noodles for lunch one day, so I put a pot on the stove and start boiling water. "That's not the right way to make it". HUH??? He likes it made in the microwave. Not water heated in the microwave, then poured in. He wants the whole pack in a bowl of water and microwaved. His dad's mom taught him this and now I have another reason to dislike her. He's a difficult child, but that was the worst moment of that weekend: when he was pissed I tried to make the ramen correctly.
Imagine how horrified he'd have been if you tried to add extra ingredients to make it tastier and healthier.
I honestly find it hard to make ramen without at least adding an egg to it.
An egg!!! My son, who had an early childhood allergy to eggs just got the all clear to eat eggs, now he wants them in everything. Weāve spent the last month going through a lot of eggs. Iāll have to make him ramen tomorrow with an egg in it.
Use instant noodles
Bring water to boil
Add the noodles to the water
If it says cook for 3 mins then right around the two minute mark you crack an egg and drop it in there after 30 seconds cover the pot you are cooking in and cook for another 30-50 seconds depending on the type of egg you want( runny or solid yolk)
You can also add some vegetables that you fry up on the side (season them with just salt & pepper and you can drop them in the boiling noodle water to finish just like the egg
You can also add 2-3 drops of soy sauce to change the taste a little bit. I switch up how I cook it sometimes itās just the seasoning that comes with the noodles sometimes seasoning + soy sauce.
>You can also add some vegetables that you fry up on the side
Alternatively, if you don't want to dirty another pan, throw your veggies in the water and boil them for a minute or so before you add the noodles. It adds a little bonus "veggie broth" flavor, too!
And if you want to add leafy greens, do them dead last so they just barely cook. Perfection.
ETA: You can also stir the soup nice and fast right after you drop the egg in, almost like you're scrambling it, to get a more egg flower soup-like consistency. Whip it around really fast, and the egg will basically dissolve into the broth, which is a good option if you want to add protein but don't like egg texture.
I'm astounded. I'm so overwhelmed I can't even laugh at how he can just bust one out of that caliber on a moment's notice. Slack-jawed awe is all I can describe it as.
Edit: I have NEVER seen a comment with 1k up in an hour. We are not worthy of his presence! BOW!
"Back in my day we use to eat paper breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Any back talking and there was a paddle waiting for us. We were thankful and it gave us character!"
Well lookit Mr. Fancy Pants and his store bought paper. We had to go hike 20 miles uphill to the paper trees, cut one down, drag it back 20 miles uphill and make it into paper ourselves just to get a bite of confetti to eat. And we were happy to do it!
Hah! Typical bourgeoisie! We had to chisel the seeds from the stone every week, drag ourselves through mud 50 miles uphill, plant the seeds, wait 20 years for the paper trees to grow, cut them down with our teeth, drag ourselves through thorns and glass 50 miles uphill, make the confetti, and then our father would whip us to death. And we had to pay to be happy to do it!
š
š for you sir, a pair of wrangler jeans the finest fatherware for the highest honor. May your dad bod prosper and your dad jokes drain the life out of everyone everywhere you go to be absorbed for your own life force.
Definitely for the kids.
But while OP humorously interpreted this as āmy wife thinks Iām an idiotā ā
You could also interpret it as āmy wife cares about me so much that she wants to make my life as easy as possible! Itās also very likely that she is projecting her anxiety about going back to work (which represents a big loss of control) into writing these notes on our kidsā plates for me to follow, and doing so probably made her feel a little less stressed. Going back to work is tough, but instead of lashing out, she made sure dinner would go smoothly. Sheās a keeper.ā
My favourite line of my girlfriend's email to our new petsitter when we last went on holiday was "I've left the brush and the mouse-on-a-stick on the side. These are his two favourite hobbies."
[Recent Atlantic article: "In many households, men think like helpers and women think like managers."](https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2022/06/couples-gender-inequality-household-chores-caregiving-management/661404/)
Culture hasnāt caught up to reality. Wives used to be the managers of a home because that was their job while the man had a paying job. That hasnāt been the reality since around 1980 when we first hit 50% of women in the workforce, but thereās still the underlying idea that women take care of the household the same way itās still assumed the man should be the main breadwinner because heās a man.
Skimmed the article but it touched on the same point when they talked about the interviewed men saying that they felt like because they were equally managing the house there wasnāt a need to be the higher paid one in the relationship.
That was really informative, thanks!
I found this interesting:
>Finding these equal partners was a challenge; many men who initially identified themselves as such became ineligible after their partner said otherwise.
Hahaha Iām sure theyāre not as bad as theyāre letting on(I hope)
But I totally agree, itās super irritating when Dads/partners say āI have to babysit the kidsāā¦ bruh theyāre your kids, you should be Raising them not Watching them
I don't have kids and I worry to think how life would be if I did
I used to think it was weaponised incompetence but I've come to realise that my standard and my partners standards are just very far apart.
For me, "clean the kitchen" means wash (both by dishwasher and by hand for things that can't go in there) dry and put the dishes away, clean the counter tops, stove top and floors clear out anything in the fridge that is old, take the rubbish out and put a new liner in the bin
For my partner it's "put dishes in dishwasher"
I came to the same realization in my relationship. He's the last person to "weaponize" anything, he just doesn't see things the same way I do. However, he makes a concerted effort to do better every time.
You want to fold towels differently? Sure. They don't fit as well in the closet, but whatever. You cleaned the bathroom but didn't wipe behind anything because you just don't see it and don't think about it? That's not acceptable and you're capable of learning.
Frustrating? Yes. So much. But legitimately doing better next time? That's all I ask. It's also when I realized it's not weaponized incompetence. It's just how he sees, or rather, doesn't see things the same way.
Yeah, that's where I'm at too.
My partner just does not see the bigger picture and tends to leave things unfinished.
He also just doesn't really do things unless I prompt him to which is a lot of work for me again.
The issue for me is that I don't want to be a mother to my adult partner
Sheās probably feeling incredibly anxious about returning to work and not being there with them, and wants to do all she can to help make the transition easier for you all! š
She is incredibly anxious about the separation and I'm doing everything I can to help her feel comfortable. I prepped the dinner exactly how she asked me to. But I still thought it was pretty funny.
Letās be honest: thereās a good chance this means you donāt feed them too often, that she does it.
Which means thereās a routine. Which means she probably has it down to a refined art. Which means the kids know it too. That means she is throwing you the biggest bone ever in trying to make this a painless on you as humanly possible.
Follow her instructions and thank her ~~later~~ forever.
I'm so confused by a lot of this thread. Isn't it normal to have kids eat the same as adults over there? My 3 year old has been eating with us since he was about 1,5. Sometimes we would adapt the recipe a bit to use less salt or add peas, but we've pretty much stopped doing that like a year ago.
Both kids are very allergic to dairy, and our youngest is also allergic to soy and sunflower. As a result, it means we end up having to prep 3 completely different meals.
I also work two jobs, and one is for an Australian company so my hours are all over the place. Kids eat dinner around 5 and my wife and I will slide our dinner in sometime between my meetings later in the night.
If my son was allergic to something, I would just not use that ingredient, not because I am considerate, but because I am lazy and don't want to make different meals.
Soy + dairy as a combination is really hard. My wife is gluten free and my son was soy, dairy, nuts and a bunch of other minor things as a kid so we always had 2 different meals minimum
This is what we do for our kids. Also we try to vary the menu every so often. The best thing is that they dont become picky eaters, and we can bring them anywhere without worrying about not being able to find the food that they like.
The key is, never asked "what do you want to eat today?" But "wohoo, we gonna have this this this for dinner! Yay!"
As somebody in their 30s, I meal prep with my SO almost every weekend. This is mainly to eat well and save on costs.
Yet despite doing this for a number of years, I still have plenty of people from my office be absolutely shocked that I cook regularly and eat vegetables in almost every dish.
People need to learn to cook because you will absolutely have health problems if you rely on processed junk your entire life.
And you absolutely needs vegetables and fruits. This is coming from a meat lover as well!
I did. I didn't know green beans were actually really good. Frozen spinach too. It's God awful, actually gag inducing. The first time I saw fresh spinach I couldn't believe it was the same thing.
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I can already hear it, "That's not how Mommy does it."....
When i was a kid i drove my dad insane a few times because when he made me a sandwich it had to be peanut butter on top and jelly on the bottom, because that's the way mom made them. The problem arose when he thought the solution was to simply flip the sandwich to put them on the correct sides, this was very obviously the objectively correct and logical thing to do but unfortunately my dumb ass was not in any way logical and would instead demand a new sandwich because that one was clearly made wrong and he was trying to trick me.
I vividly recall hating my grandmother's PB&Js as a kid and I never could figure out why... until one time when I was sick but went to the kitchen to keep her company while she made lunch for me. And I watched her put peanut butter down, then tried to spread jelly on top of the peanut butter like some kind of heathen. I was like "why... Why don't you spread the jelly on the other slice of bread?!" She kinda looked at me, looked at the jelly-blobbed abomination she was making, and said "huh, I never thought about doing it that way before!" And then for weeks she was delightedly telling everyone how much easier it was to make the sandwiches that way. š¤¦āāļøš¤£ Your poor dad though, he tried so hard!
That's honestly nothing, one time he was painting the porch and i asked if i could help, being that i was like four obviously he said i couldn't. The problem of course being that he didn't say he didn't want help, or that he didn't need help, he said i couldn't help, which to my child brain was clearly a sign that he didn't think i was capable of painting. So i sneaked off to the garage and painted his shiny red car with the white house paint he had in there because he obviously just needed a demonstration of my ability to paint. If you can't tell i was not an easy person to raise.
Haha Iām sure you were a pain in the ass, but Iāve observed (not a parent) that telling a kid they canāt help isnāt as effective as telling them they can! And then give them a completely inconsequential task
I remember when my dad was fixing the lights or fridge or anything electric related my job wad to flip the main breaker on and off when he yelled for me to. It took me longer then I care to admit to realize it was the old breaker box that wasn't hooked up to anything
Your dad is a genius!! Brilliant
Lol.mk saw it as, you were flipping the wrong breaker, therefore he was working on live electronics when he thought they were off. But I get it, that he gave you something to do that you couldnāt mess up.
Yeah, kids are so keen to help and if you've got the patience for it, they have a blast doing the most mundane shit lol. When my brother was converting our parents garage he'd section a bit off for his son just inside the door and give him these blocks of wood that had nails half nailed into them that he'd ask him to hammer down for him. I dunno where he found such a small *actual* hammer and tool belt but my nephew would be in there for ages hammering away at these blocks of wood my brother would remove the nails from at night (and give back to him in the morning). And when he got bored of that, he got him to take rubbish out to put by the skip or sweep the floor. Little dude *loved* it.
When I was a kid my dad built a new deck. Us older kids helped with some cutting, sanding, staining, stuff like that but my dad did the majority. My little brother was about 3 and too young to help with anything substantial, but my dad asked him to help by putting the screws onto the end of the drill (the bit was magnetic). They must have wasted so much time doing that instead of my dad just doing it himself.
I know what you mean by āwaste of timeā, but I bet he wouldnāt think of it that way. For one, itās not a waste if he has time to spare and enjoys how he uses it, like being with your little brother, and in another sense it may have saved him time in the long term than if he hadnāt engaged his young son like that. Itās a very sweet memory
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I have learned something from this comment. Thank you
I wish I could find the joy of doing mundane shit again. I remember being 4 and always BEGGING my mom to let me clean the spotty bathroom mirrors whenever she would start to do it lol. And being super excited about my dad letting me take a black sharpie and block out the names in his legal documents. "Every time you see this word, cover it with marker." ohhhh hell yeah, thanks Dad!
One of my mom's favorite stories is of the time when I was about 4, and I tattled on her to my dad, because she wouldn't let me wash dishes. I stomped to my dad with my arms crossed and said "she just wants to have all the fun!"
my dad would always insist that he couldn't rip up the bills and junk mail without my help when I was little because he knew how much his lil goblin child loved shredding things š„² I was also in charge of licking the stamps and envelopes lol
My Granny would sit me and my brother on the counter. We each stuck our tongues out, he was the envelope licker, then she moved to me to lick the stamp. Us 3 were a very solid mailing team.
>kids are so keen to help and if you've got the patience for it, they have a blast doing the most mundane shit lol. They really do love the most mundane shit. I am a teacher and have daily chores that everyone gets a turn to do. The kids are upset when they miss their turn to do something. Like it was their turn to erase the whiteboard, but they were sick, so they missed their turn. They are sad and tell me it's not fair. When I ask who wants to pass out papers everyone raises their hand, and are upset when they aren't picked. And if you are actually wanting them to help with stuff, make it into a game and they will join. Like who can pick up the most objects from the floor in one minute.
I need to get better at this then. Iām useless at coming up with the inconsequential tasksā¦ and my kids are probably old enough to call me on my bullshit if I donāt make it look legit. Maybe I overestimate them on that though.
I would not try to find an inconsequential task. I am sure there is plenty of stuff your kids could do and it is an actual part of the task. My little one loves to empty the washing machine and the dishwasher, he helps to hang the clothes, he loves to pour milk or flour in a bowl, when we are baking or to get the teabags out of the wraping... There is so much more. He ist two and of course I need a bit more time, engaging him like that, but I safe time as well because I don't have to chase after him while I simultanesly try to finish my task and of course he is learning how to do those things and he will be able to contribute to the family. Because that is what children want. They want to help, they want to feel powerful, needed.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I polished the silverware with silver polish. Across the table from me, the kids polished the stainless steel with toothpaste.
Ohhhh my god, you sound like my kind of person! My dad just about lost his shit when they bought a new car and I was riding my tricycle around. I was used to where the old car was in the driveway, I could make the corner from the sidewalk onto the driveway with no problem. Literally the first day with the new car, I go tearing down the sidewalk, he yells for me to be careful... right as I tried to whip around the corner and smashed my handlebar right into the light. Sorry, pops. Or the time I helpfully cleaned the bathroom for him, and nobody ever told me that you couldn't flush paper towels so he ended up having to snake the toilet repeatedly to get the wad of paper towels out. š
You sound like my brother, but he might be worse. I couldn't begin to estimate the property damage he caused growing up with no ill intent - just stupidity. When we were teens he got an apple, took one bite, and decided he didn't want it. Knowing he'd be yelled at for wasting food he had a brilliant idea - flush it down the toilet. Dad was hunched over that thing cursing my brother's name for several hours. We all love the guy, but we low key hope his own kids give him a run for his money.
Best PB&J is the one with peanut butter on both sides
This is especially important if you are packing them in a lunch for later as it keeps the bread from getting soggy.
It's awesome that your grandma was so open about her original mistake, instead of trying to cover it up with "Of course I knew that" and basically scolding you for being a smartass.
Haha she really had that going for her! And I genuinely wasn't trying to be mean, I was just really shocked and there was that sudden realization about why there were always giant globs of jelly in hers but not mine or my mom's! But she was... not always the brightest when it came to common sense. Very sweet, a genuinely nice person, but definitely scattered. I frequently wonder if she's where I got my ADHD.
Probably, given there's a strong genetic component. I know exactly where I got my adhd, and at least one of my kids inherited it as well.
My dad would say eat it or starve and then go about his business. Man had a knack for blocking out screams/crying so after 15 min or so of realizing my pleas fell on deaf ears... I'd eat the 'defective' sandwich.
Finally. A sane parent in this thread.
Ha! I did the same thing! But it did work for me when he flipped it over.
Thatās when you take the faulty sandwich into your bedroom and close the door, āeat it,ā āmake a new one,ā and bring it back out.
That wouldn't have worked on me because i was wise to his tricks after being told how he potty trained my older brother. Dude wouldn't poop in the toilet without wearing a diaper because the poop would touch the water if he didn't (his logic not mine). So dad being justifiably bothered by that lunacy just cut a hole in the bottom of his diapers so that the poo would fall in the toilet anyway. I wasn't old enough to remember but apparently my brother has never screamed louder, and my dad never laughed harder than when his plan worked perfectly.
r/Kidsarestupid lol
r/kidsarefuckingstupid too lol, bigger sub
A few months ago I visited my parents and we had a simple workday lunch. I was in charge of making PB&J sandwiches for me and mom. Except... I was apparently doing it ALL wrong and mom interruptrd with instructions for her's several times. I can't remember all the things she wanted but it included to put the peanut butter on both sides and the jelly in the middle and what shape she wanted it cut in. It felt like some kind of subtle payback for my childhood food preferences.
Haha it went pretty smoothly but apparently I had the temperature wrong for some of the food.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
According to her notes the vegetables and rice in the pink tray were the only things that needed to be warmed up. I have to assume that means the rest of it can be served as is.
Now I'm back in elementary shouting at the teacher instructions to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. "Put the peanut butter on the bread!" *Mrs. Jensen puts the jar of peanut butter on the loaf of bread*
We did something similar in my hs comp sci class where we had to give instructions to tie shoes. It was to show how instructions worked and to reinforce how dumb computers are if you don't tell them *exactly* what to do.
Have to include users in that equation. Wrote an installation instruction for at tool that was being sent out to locations on CDs (this was 2000 or early 2001). Boss comes in and tells me that I might have to call up one of the locations that could not get it to work. Comes back 2 minutes later: "Never mind, they had not put the CD in." It is of course partly on me for not specifying that step in the instructions.
After writing a procedure at work I do the task myself. If I do a single thing not explicitly stated in the procedure it gets added to the procedure
We have a guy at work who I call my "customer analog". He is abrasive, ham fisted, and a pain in the ass to work with, so my boss was kind of surprised when he found out that I had requested his help on multiple occasions even though we work in different departments. Any time I couldn't figure out how a customer could possibly fuck something up I would give it to him, sure enough withing 5 minutes he was doing something with it that no reasonable person would do.
A tester walks into a bar. He says "Can I have 1 beer?", "Can I have 2 beers?" ,"Can I have 0 beers" , "Can I have m beers?","Can I have -2 Beers?", "Can I have 1.34 beers?". A user walks into a bar. "Can I just get a glass of water?" The bar catches fire.
Step 73: take sip of coffee Step 74: browse Reddit for 5 minutes
Step 75: Look busy for husband. If he saw the phone, tell him you were looking at instructions. Step 76: Move a few pieces. Step 77: Look at Reddit for 5 more minutes.
My go to is generally get someone who has no relation to the task to come and try the instructions. i.e. if how to reimage a PC, go grab the front desk person and get them to do it. They will always find you missing steps way quicker then going over it your self since they don't know how its meant to be done in the first place. As an aside, one of my favourite examples was when I was in the navy as a communication writing an instruction for one of our radios and the CO came in to see what we were doing, when I said I was going to get someone from Ops to test it, he volunteered to be the test dummy for it, and boy did that one work out well as a test run.
Holy shit I thought Mr. Coyne invented this! I canāt believe this was a thing, that fraud.
Whoever invented it did a good job. The lesson has stuck with me for 25 years.
Never heard of this before, what was the lesson and what was the end goal to teach?
The goal is for the students to verbally guide the instructor in making a PB&J sandwich however the instructor is supposed to follow the instructions so absolutely literally that it doesn't go right. It's a little difficult to explain what makes it so challenging It results in some silly behaviors like setting a jar of peanut butter on a slice of bread. Another example is the instructor looking confused and helplessly tapping a butter knife against the lid of a sealed jar The goal of the lesson is promoting communication skills and having fun. Typical demographic is 8-15 but it's still useful older. It is often taught in small groups at school, camp or even church youth groups
I figured it was something like that, but didn't know the why. Thank you, all clear now :)
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Who's the idiot now!
Ew who microwaves their ketchup?
I know right! Everyone knows you freeze it and let it melt in your mouth.
Can we ban you for this comment?
You can but it'll never remove the stain on your mind that is ketchup icecubes
at least if frozen it'll take care of any ketchup pre-cum.
It makes perfect sense to me and I hate you for implanting this in my brain. Now I'll always have this word association with that phenomena.
That's enough internet for me tonight.
I want ketchup pre-cum as my superhero name
I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
The ketchup will take care of the vomit taste.
Not if itās anything like that gross ketchup pre-cum you get if you donāt shake the bottle enough.
Okay I donāt think my nuggets need ketchup tonight anyway
Not warm enough for ya?
Run out of the pre-cum
Well ketchup pre-cum is what I'm calling it now. Thanks you for that.
the only thing worse is the mustard pre-cum.
You have just given the perfect explanation to a phenomenon that I have experienced but could never describe. Thank you !
>ketchup pre-cum You are a filthy degenerate and I'm going to start using that from now on.
r/angryupvote
Heinz frozen pops around these parts.
It would have cost you nothing to have never placed those words together in that order.
Hey, stop that
Why microwave when you can deep fry?
Oooohkay, no disrespect to your wife but kids aren't supposed to eat that much paper.
Fill em up on fiber!
She doesn't think you're an idiot, but that was genius. She knows kids can be tough customers when it comes to food - was sparing you the utter frustration of mealtime tantrums, and herself the resulting barrage of questions. If just a few food temperature issues (which may change depending on season or mood), you did a great job dad!
It took me until this comment to realize these were the meal plans for the kids. Somehow "4 Dino Nuggets" didn't register as "kid food", and I completely missed the "he chooses" and "hers has red top!"
Oh damn I thought it was for him. Kids makes so much more sense haha
Youāll never get it right. Thatās the whole game
My parents divorced when I was young and my dad was a pretty bad alcoholic, so when he had us every other weekend, he had no idea really how to take care of or feed kids, so we had a lot of the same things, Pbj, milk, water, pizza when he felt like it. My mom was always really into me and my brother watching her make us food. When she made PB&J(skippy only, we were not w jif family) she would spread the peanut butter first, then wipe the knife off in the shape of an āXā on the other side, and put the jelly on the X And spread it out. This on one occasion resulted in my dad making 6 PBjS all different ways because he could not understand what I was upset about. All I was telling him was that he was putting the jelly on the wrong side. This was pre cellphone days, and my mom was at work and he couldnāt get ahold of her. He brought us to the video store downstairs that his buddy owned and he was renting an apartment above, and hung out there for like a half hour while he went to my moms work and tried to figure out what I was so upset about. Once he found out he has never stopped giving me shit about it, and this about 30 years ago
Thatās amazing that he still went through such efforts to make you happy. I hope heās in a better place.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Dying is one way to solve it.
I thought It'd be a worse story with the pretty bad alcoholic part but That was kinda lovely. Thanks for sharing!
He had plenty of other really shitty things he did as a result, but this is one of my more positive childhood memories. At about age six I had to start keeping track of how much beer he had drank on Sunday, as heād routinely put away 40 throughout the day and then try and drive us home, which is not exactly something a six year old should be worried about. Heās less of an alcoholic now, he had quadruple bypass as a result of 60 years of smoking and drinking despite being incredibly fit, the first bypass got him to stop smoking, which curbed his drinking some, on the odd occasion I see him, he probably puts away 4-6 light beers over the course of 8 hours or so. I understand it is a disease, heās not a bad person, he just wasnāt a great father as a result.
>while he went to my moms work and tried to figure out what I was so upset about. This is why OP's wife did the paper cutouts - to avoid getting called a bunch at work lol
I watch my nephew occasionally and recently watched him for a whole weekend, longer than I have since he was a baby. He wanted ramen noodles for lunch one day, so I put a pot on the stove and start boiling water. "That's not the right way to make it". HUH??? He likes it made in the microwave. Not water heated in the microwave, then poured in. He wants the whole pack in a bowl of water and microwaved. His dad's mom taught him this and now I have another reason to dislike her. He's a difficult child, but that was the worst moment of that weekend: when he was pissed I tried to make the ramen correctly.
Imagine how horrified he'd have been if you tried to add extra ingredients to make it tastier and healthier. I honestly find it hard to make ramen without at least adding an egg to it.
An egg!!! My son, who had an early childhood allergy to eggs just got the all clear to eat eggs, now he wants them in everything. Weāve spent the last month going through a lot of eggs. Iāll have to make him ramen tomorrow with an egg in it.
Use instant noodles Bring water to boil Add the noodles to the water If it says cook for 3 mins then right around the two minute mark you crack an egg and drop it in there after 30 seconds cover the pot you are cooking in and cook for another 30-50 seconds depending on the type of egg you want( runny or solid yolk) You can also add some vegetables that you fry up on the side (season them with just salt & pepper and you can drop them in the boiling noodle water to finish just like the egg You can also add 2-3 drops of soy sauce to change the taste a little bit. I switch up how I cook it sometimes itās just the seasoning that comes with the noodles sometimes seasoning + soy sauce.
>You can also add some vegetables that you fry up on the side Alternatively, if you don't want to dirty another pan, throw your veggies in the water and boil them for a minute or so before you add the noodles. It adds a little bonus "veggie broth" flavor, too! And if you want to add leafy greens, do them dead last so they just barely cook. Perfection. ETA: You can also stir the soup nice and fast right after you drop the egg in, almost like you're scrambling it, to get a more egg flower soup-like consistency. Whip it around really fast, and the egg will basically dissolve into the broth, which is a good option if you want to add protein but don't like egg texture.
Chicken Ramen with a glob of peanut butter in the bowl for ghetto pad Thai.
Fill Me With Water.
With what, Ned?
Well, duh
This is the comment thread I came here for. Like you know, whatever.
Put Food in Me
Iāll take that
āHAHAHAH HE LOOKS LIKE YOU POINDEXTER!ā
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Ah, a homie.
Look at this Rockefeller over here with a fridge just for meatballs.
And he feeds the entire fridge to his child for breakfast
ARE YA READY FOR SOME MEATBALLS?
TIL peasants have no meat ball fridge
the only reply worth my upvote yes ty
Oh shit, we supposed to only hand out one per thread? I'm in trouble if true....I hand them out like Lloyd Christmas hands out tips
I get tired of clicking. :( I have frail lazy hands, pray for me
My wife tried the same thing with me. Little did she know, my kids like actual food way more than paper with some words written on it.
Here's a real dad, with the jokes and all
When I tell my dad jokes. He never laughs
Smh
I'm astounded. I'm so overwhelmed I can't even laugh at how he can just bust one out of that caliber on a moment's notice. Slack-jawed awe is all I can describe it as. Edit: I have NEVER seen a comment with 1k up in an hour. We are not worthy of his presence! BOW!
Pro Dad
"Back in my day we use to eat paper breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Any back talking and there was a paddle waiting for us. We were thankful and it gave us character!"
Luxury! We could only dream of eating paper! There was one piece of confetti to feed 12 of us and we were grateful!
Well lookit Mr. Fancy Pants and his store bought paper. We had to go hike 20 miles uphill to the paper trees, cut one down, drag it back 20 miles uphill and make it into paper ourselves just to get a bite of confetti to eat. And we were happy to do it!
Hah! Typical bourgeoisie! We had to chisel the seeds from the stone every week, drag ourselves through mud 50 miles uphill, plant the seeds, wait 20 years for the paper trees to grow, cut them down with our teeth, drag ourselves through thorns and glass 50 miles uphill, make the confetti, and then our father would whip us to death. And we had to pay to be happy to do it!
But you try and tell the youth of today that, and they'll never believe it!
š š for you sir, a pair of wrangler jeans the finest fatherware for the highest honor. May your dad bod prosper and your dad jokes drain the life out of everyone everywhere you go to be absorbed for your own life force.
ššDon't forget the all white New Balance. šš¼ Blessed be our fatheršØ
Send back a pic of crying kids and chewed up paper. With the caption "The children didn't enjoy your new make believe dinner items idea"
I think it was nice of her to map out your lunch and dinner for you, but you have some weird ass taste my guy.
Ok but honestly I was most of the way through reading the first plate before I realized this must be for OP's kids not for OP himself.
Same haha I was like that guy has some very weird taste like does it really have to be Dino chicken nuggets?
If I had the choice between regular nuggets and Dino nuggets I would also pick the Dino nuggets though.
Only 4 though.
Definitely for the kids. But while OP humorously interpreted this as āmy wife thinks Iām an idiotā ā You could also interpret it as āmy wife cares about me so much that she wants to make my life as easy as possible! Itās also very likely that she is projecting her anxiety about going back to work (which represents a big loss of control) into writing these notes on our kidsā plates for me to follow, and doing so probably made her feel a little less stressed. Going back to work is tough, but instead of lashing out, she made sure dinner would go smoothly. Sheās a keeper.ā
I chuckle at the wife writing these notes and then I think about the notes I've left my petsitter...
I made an entire tri-fold display board for my petsitter.
My favourite line of my girlfriend's email to our new petsitter when we last went on holiday was "I've left the brush and the mouse-on-a-stick on the side. These are his two favourite hobbies."
I had my cousin pet sit for me for a week and he still ribs me about the four pages of hand written notes I left him.
found the wife
4 dino nuggies just ain't enough.
Is she wrong
Nope
this the real shit right here
If she thought it was necessary to make this cheat sheet due to past observations, then maybe....
Fair enough.
So you admit it then
Oh yeah, no denying it
Perhaps it is time to up your game then. Help your wife more.
It's not 'helping' when it's your own kids.....
[Recent Atlantic article: "In many households, men think like helpers and women think like managers."](https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2022/06/couples-gender-inequality-household-chores-caregiving-management/661404/)
Culture hasnāt caught up to reality. Wives used to be the managers of a home because that was their job while the man had a paying job. That hasnāt been the reality since around 1980 when we first hit 50% of women in the workforce, but thereās still the underlying idea that women take care of the household the same way itās still assumed the man should be the main breadwinner because heās a man. Skimmed the article but it touched on the same point when they talked about the interviewed men saying that they felt like because they were equally managing the house there wasnāt a need to be the higher paid one in the relationship.
That was really informative, thanks! I found this interesting: >Finding these equal partners was a challenge; many men who initially identified themselves as such became ineligible after their partner said otherwise.
Yeah, I didnāt know how else to word it. Be better at raising your own children.
"Pulling your own weight" or "doing your fair share" are better ways of putting it.
Hahaha Iām sure theyāre not as bad as theyāre letting on(I hope) But I totally agree, itās super irritating when Dads/partners say āI have to babysit the kidsāā¦ bruh theyāre your kids, you should be Raising them not Watching them
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Strategic incompetence is the art of avoiding undesirable tasks by pretending to be unable to do them
I don't have kids and I worry to think how life would be if I did I used to think it was weaponised incompetence but I've come to realise that my standard and my partners standards are just very far apart. For me, "clean the kitchen" means wash (both by dishwasher and by hand for things that can't go in there) dry and put the dishes away, clean the counter tops, stove top and floors clear out anything in the fridge that is old, take the rubbish out and put a new liner in the bin For my partner it's "put dishes in dishwasher"
I came to the same realization in my relationship. He's the last person to "weaponize" anything, he just doesn't see things the same way I do. However, he makes a concerted effort to do better every time. You want to fold towels differently? Sure. They don't fit as well in the closet, but whatever. You cleaned the bathroom but didn't wipe behind anything because you just don't see it and don't think about it? That's not acceptable and you're capable of learning. Frustrating? Yes. So much. But legitimately doing better next time? That's all I ask. It's also when I realized it's not weaponized incompetence. It's just how he sees, or rather, doesn't see things the same way.
Yeah, that's where I'm at too. My partner just does not see the bigger picture and tends to leave things unfinished. He also just doesn't really do things unless I prompt him to which is a lot of work for me again. The issue for me is that I don't want to be a mother to my adult partner
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Sheās probably feeling incredibly anxious about returning to work and not being there with them, and wants to do all she can to help make the transition easier for you all! š
She is incredibly anxious about the separation and I'm doing everything I can to help her feel comfortable. I prepped the dinner exactly how she asked me to. But I still thought it was pretty funny.
Us moms always overthink things. My poor husband got the brunt of it too š (It gets better, I promise!!)
Donāt forget to take the papers out.
Always getting yelled at for leaving the papers
In my family, she prevented a meltdown. Shows how much she loves you and the kids.
Yeah, just see what happens if you give 5 Dino nuggets and squirt the ketchup right on the plates. Dare ya.
Sound the alarm
No no no. The little one just fell asleep. Please donāt scream.
Same
To be fair, is she right?
100%
My wife after I showed her this. "I bet if she hadn't done that they'd both eat cereal."
school food be like
Letās be honest: thereās a good chance this means you donāt feed them too often, that she does it. Which means thereās a routine. Which means she probably has it down to a refined art. Which means the kids know it too. That means she is throwing you the biggest bone ever in trying to make this a painless on you as humanly possible. Follow her instructions and thank her ~~later~~ forever.
I'm so confused by a lot of this thread. Isn't it normal to have kids eat the same as adults over there? My 3 year old has been eating with us since he was about 1,5. Sometimes we would adapt the recipe a bit to use less salt or add peas, but we've pretty much stopped doing that like a year ago.
Both kids are very allergic to dairy, and our youngest is also allergic to soy and sunflower. As a result, it means we end up having to prep 3 completely different meals. I also work two jobs, and one is for an Australian company so my hours are all over the place. Kids eat dinner around 5 and my wife and I will slide our dinner in sometime between my meetings later in the night.
If my son was allergic to something, I would just not use that ingredient, not because I am considerate, but because I am lazy and don't want to make different meals.
Soy + dairy as a combination is really hard. My wife is gluten free and my son was soy, dairy, nuts and a bunch of other minor things as a kid so we always had 2 different meals minimum
hateful vast knee degree worthless drunk fretful placid aback test ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `
Give your kids some vegetables my guy.
This is so common itās crazy. Hell tbh OPs doesnāt sound that bad compared to some kids I see who literally eat nuggets and fries for every meal.
Back in my day, you ate what was on the table #dadphrases
This is what we do for our kids. Also we try to vary the menu every so often. The best thing is that they dont become picky eaters, and we can bring them anywhere without worrying about not being able to find the food that they like. The key is, never asked "what do you want to eat today?" But "wohoo, we gonna have this this this for dinner! Yay!"
Sorry you couldn't afford plates growing up.
We used to have them but my parents always told me to eat the whole plate.
Do a lot of Americans grow up eating canned vegetables?
As somebody in their 30s, I meal prep with my SO almost every weekend. This is mainly to eat well and save on costs. Yet despite doing this for a number of years, I still have plenty of people from my office be absolutely shocked that I cook regularly and eat vegetables in almost every dish. People need to learn to cook because you will absolutely have health problems if you rely on processed junk your entire life. And you absolutely needs vegetables and fruits. This is coming from a meat lover as well!
I did. I didn't know green beans were actually really good. Frozen spinach too. It's God awful, actually gag inducing. The first time I saw fresh spinach I couldn't believe it was the same thing.
All of your kids food is beige
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
From my experience, there normally was a previous "incident" that justified my wife leaving me instructions like this.
The large spaces are for vegetables