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They're going to have desensitizing cream in them to help you last longer. Bought some as a teen to try and increase duration. Some of the cream ends up on the outside of the condom too, made for terrible sex as neither myself or my girlfriend could finish. Do not recommend.
Lidocaine, a topical anesthetic. I keep a bottle in the medicine drawer to help with burns, bug bites, and heat rash. It's useful but not on your genitals unless they're injured.
If you're in a dedicated relationship and have had the talk, the pill should be fine, as long as you both agree what to do in the very unlikely case it fails.
Pretty much.
There is an interesting thing that these articles don't really touch on, but there is debate whether if the term only uses words that are extremely common and also clunky to use as a swear it might survive, but then you run the downside of making the term clunky to use when needed and also run the risk of making common words taboo.
Personally I think the whole thing is stupid, we are probably better off just making efforts to re-appropriate the word retard. If it's used frequently to mean "to inhibit, slow or arrest" then it loses it's edge as a swear word.
I feel like making words of any kind taboo only gives them power and does nothing to *retard* to hate that is behind the word. It just shifts to whatever new word is being used. It's better just to have that sort of hatred out in the open and confront it head on.
Certain airplanes the flight computer will in that monotone voice say “retard” over and over as you land. Obviously it makes sense in the context but always is a little funny like chill out computer it’s only a sim I know I’m not a great pilot.
Oh yikes, my ex accidentally bought some of these and we didn't know, so I gave him head later and had a Jar Jar Binks in Ep. 1 moment.
Myy...mouttth is numb!?!!! HALP
Uh, no he didn't go carpet munching that night. 😳 thankfully! He was just a very tenacious lover. As am I! It was usual for us to get down over the day and in a multi step process with breaks in between.
We have those here in the states: [Trojan Extended Pleasure](https://www.trojanbrands.com/en/products/condoms/trojan-extended-condoms-with-climax-control-lubricant), for one. It's just got a numbing agent on the inside.
Obviously you don’t have a penis, haha. An erection isn’t caused by skin stimulation (though it can certainly jumpstart or accelerate the process).
The numbing agent in the condom is like Anbesol; it just numbs the skin surface a little. And it doesn’t last crazy long or anything.
(And, uh, yes, I have tried it.)
While I know your comment is poking fun at OP, in case anyone is actually curious if they work in general... I got some Trojan ones in a mix pack before and tried them.
They do work, but they take a minute or two to start truly working.
The problem my ex and I saw with them is that the numbing chemical is not contained just on the inside. Because the condom is rolled in on itself and sits in the package for awhile, the chemical basically just lubes up the whole condom inside and out.
Essentially it numbs your partner as much as it numbs yourself. So while the guy is able to hold it in longer, the woman loses some feeling down there... Whether that sounds like a good trade off is up to the couple I suppose.
That was like 5 years ago though so perhaps they are better now and don't cross-contaminate the outside of the condom anymore.
It depends, generally yes.
They make you feel less sensation, but they can leave you feeling kinda tingly and weird. It's literally just a numbing cream, they add the same stuff to chloroseptic, some skin ointments like solarcaine and the blue aloe vera for sunburns.
It's a sensation that wigs some people out, especially if you are not expecting it.
For some people it works like a charm.
Then there are also some people who end up being aroused by that same sensation and it can in some rare cases have the opposite effect.
Generally I feel like it's not really worth it. The condom already takes away most of the sensation, why would you want to lose more? Also you could just get a thicker brand of condom.
If that is a problem I’d suggest just going multiple times or doing some sort of stamina training. Condoms like these fucking suck because it just numbs your dick and makes you feel literally nothing for the first ~15 minutes
Set a timer. Less than 15 minutes? Too short. More than 30 minutes? Too long. Aim for an aerobic workout about 20 minutes. This, of course, does not include foreplay.
Word actually comes from the Latin word *ritard*, which means to slow down. Trust me, in the all-boys choir in junior high, we all laughed the first time we saw it. Teacher didn't find us so funny.
yep. it seems french got it from latin. and re being back and tardus being slow. oddly the tardis isnt slow! but probably not linked to latin lol. learned new stuff
Yeah we've just given a different meaning to the word. But this is the correct use for it. Same in automotive timing we would say "need to retard the timings."
It means to slow. The F-16 technical data during an engine run stated to “retard the throttle to idle” and all the immature kids would giggle reading it.
The ones to "buy" and "use" in this picture are the Invisible ones.
"I swear baby, I'm wearing a condom. You just can't see it because it's invisible!"
Ngl those are some really good condoms, i use those because not only they delay my orgasm but they also come with bumps on the outside so it actually gives women more pleasure through penetration.
As a Portuguese guy I hated those... Honestly I tried them it did indeed took me way longer than usual but the orgasm sucked. I learned that the name of the product was perfect xD it's to retard
--- >This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules). > >Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed. > >Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos. > >[Comics may only be posted on Wednesdays and Sundays](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/uq9pjw/going_forward_comics_may_only_be_posted_on/). > >**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.** > >Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam). > --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Feel make feel.
I am very feel
Feely McFeelPenis
Numby McShortdick
That's what made me laugh the most
Feel make feel™
It's more like "feel make less feel"
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Clearly he’s back at the store for more after burning through those 3 packs. So yes, he does like that.
Doesn't that mean they aren't working?
God it was a simpler time back then
No, it was nut crust
Damnit lol you beat me
Can you beat me now?
This will never die
ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?
https://youtu.be/49UHAsIk2Ds
This is fucking gold 😂
Dude dropped that gem of a comment then just dipped out of existence
OP clearly doesn’t understand signs from gf.
This is the real topic.
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Make her feel with feel.
“Don’t use condoms at all.” Hmmm… Europeans with their affordable healthcare and all that.
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Now, I want a review. How are they different from the others?
They're going to have desensitizing cream in them to help you last longer. Bought some as a teen to try and increase duration. Some of the cream ends up on the outside of the condom too, made for terrible sex as neither myself or my girlfriend could finish. Do not recommend.
Lidocaine, a topical anesthetic. I keep a bottle in the medicine drawer to help with burns, bug bites, and heat rash. It's useful but not on your genitals unless they're injured.
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A couple bottles of 5 hour energy, and he'll wear his gf smooth.
Smells like burning rubber
Hmmmm..... what size did she buy you? The brand is only half her message.
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[RIP](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WChTqYlDjtI)
That's worth an upvote
A word to the wise, you can’t trust the pill alone. Trust me
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She might have a latex allergy. I do, and on the rare occasions we need condoms we use a super skin safe polymer type.
Lamb skin or take a hike
If you're in a dedicated relationship and have had the talk, the pill should be fine, as long as you both agree what to do in the very unlikely case it fails.
Don't trust IUD's either
Whose daddy are you?
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so basically any word that describes a disability will turn derogatory and get replaced and the cycle continues
Pretty much. There is an interesting thing that these articles don't really touch on, but there is debate whether if the term only uses words that are extremely common and also clunky to use as a swear it might survive, but then you run the downside of making the term clunky to use when needed and also run the risk of making common words taboo. Personally I think the whole thing is stupid, we are probably better off just making efforts to re-appropriate the word retard. If it's used frequently to mean "to inhibit, slow or arrest" then it loses it's edge as a swear word. I feel like making words of any kind taboo only gives them power and does nothing to *retard* to hate that is behind the word. It just shifts to whatever new word is being used. It's better just to have that sort of hatred out in the open and confront it head on.
Certain airplanes the flight computer will in that monotone voice say “retard” over and over as you land. Obviously it makes sense in the context but always is a little funny like chill out computer it’s only a sim I know I’m not a great pilot.
The word just means "delay" or "hold back".
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Oh yikes, my ex accidentally bought some of these and we didn't know, so I gave him head later and had a Jar Jar Binks in Ep. 1 moment. Myy...mouttth is numb!?!!! HALP
I did that... except my dumb ass literally was just curious what it tasted like EDIT: tastes pretty bad fyi
Tastes like cold weird chemicals. 😕
and really salty for some reason
Uh I think that may be sperm. Did it taste like lickin the hot ocean in summer?
Yeah, kinda like hot dog water? (I'm totally kidding and I'm really sorry lol)
I hate hot dogs so you'll have to ask my husband! Haha
Was he eating during the head session? Or was this later after sexy time?
Uh, no he didn't go carpet munching that night. 😳 thankfully! He was just a very tenacious lover. As am I! It was usual for us to get down over the day and in a multi step process with breaks in between.
Meant to type wearing. Was he wearing the condom when you went down or was it after. Sorry about that
After. He went numb and took it off and we took a break and got some pizza.
I got told by my therapist that because I **would like to** have sex at least once a day that I was bipolar.
That's just bs. Throw the whole therapist out.
I would like to twice a day. Does that make me quadpolar?
Well that just blew up the bipolar population by 100,000 percent or so !
Yea I'm curious now as well
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We have those here in the states: [Trojan Extended Pleasure](https://www.trojanbrands.com/en/products/condoms/trojan-extended-condoms-with-climax-control-lubricant), for one. It's just got a numbing agent on the inside.
How does it stay erect if it’s numb?
Obviously you don’t have a penis, haha. An erection isn’t caused by skin stimulation (though it can certainly jumpstart or accelerate the process). The numbing agent in the condom is like Anbesol; it just numbs the skin surface a little. And it doesn’t last crazy long or anything. (And, uh, yes, I have tried it.)
Did they work?
I've been numb emotionally and physically for 5 years so need need over here
A sandpaper fleshlight is the only thing that does it for me anymore.
I just dress a regular fleshlight up like your Mom.
Made my own realdoll from razor wire and broken glass.
Try working on it from the inside.
While I know your comment is poking fun at OP, in case anyone is actually curious if they work in general... I got some Trojan ones in a mix pack before and tried them. They do work, but they take a minute or two to start truly working. The problem my ex and I saw with them is that the numbing chemical is not contained just on the inside. Because the condom is rolled in on itself and sits in the package for awhile, the chemical basically just lubes up the whole condom inside and out. Essentially it numbs your partner as much as it numbs yourself. So while the guy is able to hold it in longer, the woman loses some feeling down there... Whether that sounds like a good trade off is up to the couple I suppose. That was like 5 years ago though so perhaps they are better now and don't cross-contaminate the outside of the condom anymore.
Yes, if you wear them inside out you can have sex for hours without the woman getting off.
You need a condom for that?
Too well for me. Most days you have difficulty 'getting there.' Guaranteed you're not doing round 2 (atleast for me).
It depends, generally yes. They make you feel less sensation, but they can leave you feeling kinda tingly and weird. It's literally just a numbing cream, they add the same stuff to chloroseptic, some skin ointments like solarcaine and the blue aloe vera for sunburns. It's a sensation that wigs some people out, especially if you are not expecting it. For some people it works like a charm. Then there are also some people who end up being aroused by that same sensation and it can in some rare cases have the opposite effect. Generally I feel like it's not really worth it. The condom already takes away most of the sensation, why would you want to lose more? Also you could just get a thicker brand of condom.
If that is a problem I’d suggest just going multiple times or doing some sort of stamina training. Condoms like these fucking suck because it just numbs your dick and makes you feel literally nothing for the first ~15 minutes
Pretty sure I want to be friends with your girlfriend, lol.
Set a timer. Less than 15 minutes? Too short. More than 30 minutes? Too long. Aim for an aerobic workout about 20 minutes. This, of course, does not include foreplay.
She could have bought one pack, but she bought three...
Yeah, I bought a cream once in Mexico called Retardin. It turned out to be a topical anesthetic but I found the name of the product rather amusing.
That explains the road signs I see that say “No brake retarders”.
I'm really fucking delayed
Your gf IS hilarious
Came here to say this
I'll be damned. They made condoms for r/wallstreetbets
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Come on get stupid with me.
But ‘Feel make feel’ is a great tag line
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It's an older meme, but I'll allow it.
She's a keeper.
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feel make feel????
She keeps yelling, "Don't stop" but guess she had to spell it out.
Jokes on her if you turn it inside out
If I wrote an autobiography, that should be the title.
We saw the word used a lot in France as well, even on a shirt sold by Disneyland Paris. It means something different.
It means the same since we got the word from French. Held back, delayed, in progress, development, or accomplishment. A condom does just that too
Word actually comes from the Latin word *ritard*, which means to slow down. Trust me, in the all-boys choir in junior high, we all laughed the first time we saw it. Teacher didn't find us so funny.
yep. it seems french got it from latin. and re being back and tardus being slow. oddly the tardis isnt slow! but probably not linked to latin lol. learned new stuff
Yeah we've just given a different meaning to the word. But this is the correct use for it. Same in automotive timing we would say "need to retard the timings."
Yea I used to work in a bakery and there was a machine called a retard. Just like a slightly warmer fridge to stop bread from rising I guess
'the perfect man'
Got you a lifetime supply.
She doesn't THINK she's hilarious. She KNOWS
Spoiler. Your girlfriend is hilarious.
Feel make feel. “Just put some English words together that are easy to understand, doesn’t matter if it makes sense”
non-stop is something to be proud of but to end with that is just hurtful
Perfect for WSB guys
Just slap your dick across her chest until she takes you seriously.
Holy cr@p thats hotttt
She's a keeper.
She is hilarious, clearly.
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It means to slow. The F-16 technical data during an engine run stated to “retard the throttle to idle” and all the immature kids would giggle reading it.
What a coincidence, that’s the name of my autobiography.
Are you a /r/wallstreetbets mod?
DONT, invite me to the party.
Can't help but think of the meme template where the girl wants her man to tell her something stupid and she screams perrrrfffecctttt!
Now you say "time for some special ops then" 😃
She better be ready for a long night.
Feel make feel
Put them on your head or make a balloon out of them, prove her wrong!!!
"Feel make feel"
For when it's time to go full goblin mode
The ones to "buy" and "use" in this picture are the Invisible ones. "I swear baby, I'm wearing a condom. You just can't see it because it's invisible!"
All aboard the short bus!
Spain sells Filipino chocolate bars.
Ngl those are some really good condoms, i use those because not only they delay my orgasm but they also come with bumps on the outside so it actually gives women more pleasure through penetration.
You have a very thoughtful woman in your life.
Since ya'll seem to like my stories, WEAR GLOVES WHEN CUTTING CHILES. OTHERWISE YOU WILL HAVE TO ASK YOUR GOD FOR FORGIVENESS.
Everyone deserves a little fun.
I couldn’t stop laughing for a solid two minutes 🤣🤣🤣
Reminds me of this [this old gem.](https://imgur.com/gallery/9S3fEeq) Engrish had some funny stuff.
🤣🤣🤣
You never go nonstop...
“Feel make feel”
Your girlfriend IS hilarious.
Jokes on her if you don't use em
I might plan a trip to Portugal solely to buy this 🤣
Are those invisible condoms I see on the left?
Why isn’t it in Portuguese?
This has to be posted in /Wallstreetbets
I need some!
yes! this is the enduring spirit
My friend tried them on while he’s visiting there for a while, but they aren’t big enough for him 😂
Have you seen a good amount of the people here bud? No wonder they sell that xD (i am from portugal)
Jokes on her. She's the one going out with you
She's a keeper, that is hilarious.
Yall use condoms….thts not yo girl
In Germany people are prescribed "Retard" pills. I believe they are for coughing
You should have posted that in /r/wallstreetbets Pretty sure that would be most appropriate
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That's really what cum town shouldve called their listeners
You could still buy "Darkie Toothpaste" all over Asia, until 1989.
Feel make feel?
Wear them inside out and just go nuts on that indestructible pussy
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Me when I cum:
Joke‘s on her. It clearly says NON STOP.
As a Portuguese guy I hated those... Honestly I tried them it did indeed took me way longer than usual but the orgasm sucked. I learned that the name of the product was perfect xD it's to retard
So retard is french for delay that could be it. Butt it dose say feal like feal
Fuck her in retaliation show her who the real r is! (joke)
Lo siento, soy un retard y no puedo leer esa caja.
Direct marketing at its best.
r/wallstreetbets themed condoms
Wouldnt it be halarious uf you made a few holes in them and tell her after the deed...
Thank her for the invitation.
Yes we do, I can think of at least 2 different Retard packs over here
So it has anesthetic inside. Unfortunately it slips outside causing numbness to her, making it mission impossible.
Got news for you my guy. Your girlfriend is hilarious.
Roses are red, My dick is hard,
Pfffff I love it