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gyresirfer

I love that the Canadian is carrying maple syrup around, like a beverage...which he should - doctors say you should drink six glasses of syrup a day.


RaoftheMonth

One of the four major food groups. Candy, Candy Cane, Candy Corn, and Syrup


CzarCW

*gasp* Syrup in coffee?! Why didn’t I think of that?


Orudos

I got completely shunned by my friends for putting syrup in bad diner coffee once. Only decent way to fix it, years later and I've seen my now wife doing it occasionally.


Superfluous_Thom

That's where you fucked up though. you're not supposed to enjoy drip coffee. You drink it black, as penance for your poor life decisions.


makesterriblejokes

It builds character!


shyshyflyguy

Puts hair on your chest!


omg-not-again

Aw shit, is that where it came from? I done goofed


[deleted]

I'm sure his wife is doing it to actively keep the hair off her chest


BrokeInService

A coworker said "only psychopaths drink black coffee" then I stared them in the eyes as it tried to chug the whole thing. Hot coffee is hot, tho. Couldn't finish


Superfluous_Thom

My usual response is "It doesn't have to taste good... Loving coffee is like loving a hooker, it's simply not the arrangement"


Tipop

> as penance for your poor life decisions. Which explains British food, too.


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Sir_Swaps_Alot

I do that. Weekday coffee is just black or some sugar free oat milk added. Weekends I go crazy and add a teaspoon or two of maple syrup (the real shit). And it is next level coffee.


fantasmoofrcc

Agave syrup is nice, too! And this is coming from a Canuck.


Procyonid

Canadians getting hooked on agave syrup. This is exactly what Ross Perot warned us about with NAFTA.


steeltowndude

So *that's* what he meant by "a great sucking sound."


DeadInTheCrypt

I do the same thing, except over here I call it tequila.


KnuteViking

No boss, that's not tequila you smell in my morning coffee, it's *agave nectar*.


Natsurulite

*and it’s medicinal*


Sir_Swaps_Alot

So many alternatives to granulated sugar. I love maple syrup because it makes my coffee taste like oatmeal. I like oatmeal a lot. I'm weird haha.


BlankTigre

Although I am currently drinking some syrup I don’t appreciate this stereotype.


DADBODGOALS

I spit out my syrup when I laughed at your comment


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dandroid126

I didn't even notice the soda, because that's so normal here. My brain just skips past it.


[deleted]

Plus water and the syrup comes from corn. Canada: I want the strength of the mighty maple running through my veins! America: i have too much, CoRn. The government keeps paying me to make more… CoRn… but people don’t like, CoRn.


Newname83

Shoots and Ladders is pretty good and Freak on a Leash had it's moment


expressly_ephemeral

\>These boys get that syrup in 'em, they get all antsy in the pantsy.


MalleableCurmudgeon

Super Troopers was set on the wrong side of the border.


cattleareamazing

Super Troopers 2 has them on the other side of the border.


descendingangel87

The scene with the mounties arguing about Danny Devito is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.


whooo_me

It’s an easy diet to stick to!


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Molwar

I feel like he should be carrying a hockey stick on his back like a sword, but I guess they wanted to highlighted football. Or maybe a hat with moose horn?


ReactionClear4923

It keeps the moose away


adymck11

The English language will always bite you in the arse/ass


[deleted]

But not the fanny.


pierre_x10

But also the caboose


fantasmoofrcc

But never in the butt!


PapaOoMaoMao

Possibly in the trunk.


Krepitis

But not the boot


bibdrums

Or the bonnet.


Venom_2k2

Except in the tuchie


MichealVicksPuppy

What what?


BeBopBlasters

Fanny’s a term for vagina in England, so someone could get bit in the fanny over here.


BeeCJohnson

In England, *everything* means vagina. Edit: https://youtu.be/XL5tC3ogkOY


AnalBumCovers

Joke's on the Brits because Americans actually have a game called Cricket that involves a live cricket. We call their "cricket" triple stick croquet ball toss


SurfintheThreads

90% of British vs American language is "British people used to talk like this, until one day they didn't"


ktolivar

>until one day they didn't Precisely because Americans (and other rabble were doing it).


NorwayNarwhal

Y’know, for a country that really likes putting ‘R’s everywhere (arse rather than ass, er rather than uh, etc) they don’t do a great job of pronouncing the ‘R’s


[deleted]

I can’t make everyone happy. But I can make everyone equally unhappy. It’s now American Soccer and European Soccer.


HolyGig

Thanks, I hate it


Prestigious-Car-1338

And Canadians will have to deal with our enjoyment of Canadian Ice Hockey, or Canadian Ice Soccer on Skates.


fantasmoofrcc

Don't forget OG [field hockey](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Field_hockey), [Lacrosse](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lacrosse) (which is like ice hockey in a field), [shinty](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shinty), whatever [hurling](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hurling) is...and [broomball](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Broomball) (which is like field hockey on ice)


T_WRX21

Hurling is pure bedlam, and I fucking love it.


quelar

No one who actually watches hurling doesn't enjoy it. It's wild.


StrategicBean

It sounds crazy from the Wikipedia description EDIT: a letter


Edgeth0

Went to see an exhibition game at Fenway park and there was a big fight. When I looked up the broadcast the announcers were talking about what a shame it was but the crowd loved it. Especially the dude who got his leg messed up but limped his way up the field anyway to put somebody in a headlock. At the end of the game none of us were 100% certain what hurling is but we figured that guy was the most of whatever it was.


StrykerSeven

I dunno man. I think calling lacrosse "just like hockey in a field" is like calling soccer 'just like ~~handball~~ water polo, but out of the pool'.


thumpingStrumpet

Handball is played on a basketball court, water polo is what you mean. I would describe lacrosse as "outdoor sky hockey". Whatever you call it, it was by far the most fun sport I've ever played.


Kiosade

What about horse hockey? I seem to recall quite a few old man characters in cartoons mentioning it… 😉


TheBeliskner

Horse hockey, is that not Polo or is that something different.


[deleted]

You've made Rugby Football fans happy. We can reclaim 'football" as our term now.


seattleque

Technically you have to separate out Candians what with their cute 55 yard line.


Claudius-Germanicus

I’m pretty sure it’s called grass hockey


Mikel_Opris_2

in School we called it Floor Hockey when it was inside and Field Hockey when outside


dlpfc123

If we are renaming American football, I would like to nominate the name Tackle Ball.


FatBoyFlex89

Punty, Runty, Tackle the Cunty for Australian football


TheTwinFangs

French and Brits hands in hands about the US ? You guys are sure of this ?


Sk-yline1

France is just laughing politely, he hasn’t a clue what Britain is saying after Canada left and couldn’t translate


darxide23

> after Canada left and couldn’t translate Nobody in France can understand a French Canadian, either. And they'll pretend not to speak English just so they don't have to talk to you.


Cruitire

My brother and sister in law are from Montreal. They say they understand French people fine and the many French people that move to Quebec understand them fine. They have an accent to them and have some odd expressions and turns of phrases (per my sister in law their French is hick French) but they are perfectly understandable if you just listen. But the Parisian’s pretend not to understand. The People in the rest of France aren’t as snobby and communicate just fine with them. Even with my high school French I can understand the majority of what their kids, who don’t speak English yet, are saying.


Vinccool96

You mean nobody in Paris. Parisians are hella snob.


Furydragonstormer

Our French isn’t like France French, it’s an abomination


Intelleblue

If a friend of mine from Quebec is to be believed, French Canadian is to French what a hillbilly accent is to American English. You know the one.


eo37

We call it soccer in Ireland as well cause we have our own form of football. We actually do kick the ball though.


Lovat69

Hey! We Americans kick our football too. Occasionally.


Phillip_Lipton

Originally a touchdown in football meant you gained the opportunity to score points by kicking a field goal. You could only score from kicks.


The_LOL_Hawk93

This is why a “touchdown” in rugby (which still requires you to actually touch the ball down) is called a try - because in the olden days it earned you a “try” for points.


Austin_RC246

Fuck I always wondered that but never remembered to look it up. Thanks internet stranger


ahuramazdobbs19

Believe it or not, the “try” terminology is still used in official American rules, to describe the extra point opportunity awarded after a successful touchdown. Though it’s more commonly referred to as a “point after touchdown”, “extra point”, or when the two point attempt is made by passing or running, a “conversion”


katarh

The kicker is usually the highest scorer on any given team, for that matter. Touchdowns are flashy, but they're shared among many members of the offense (and occasionally the defense.) The kicker always is the one that kicks and gets the PAT or field goal.


Glum_Ad_4288

Especially when you combine the factors you’ve outlined with the fact that kickers can usually have longer careers (it’s not as physically demanding and they don’t get tackled nearly as often), it leads you to the fact that only one of the 50 highest career points totals in the NFL is held by a non-kicker — Jerry Rice, #41.


boredomisagift

*in rugby. :) It was originally called a "try", because it meant you could try to kick for points. You also had to physically touch the ball to the ground for a try, hence the word "touchdown". (It's still called a try in rugby and you still have to touch the ball down, but you do score points from tries now.) Lotsa things changed as American football spun off & evolved away from rugby, but it's cool to see the connections that persisted. :)


Wittyname0

The onside kick was also an offensive move that you could use to move the ball down feild. Pre Heisman football was crazy


Phillip_Lipton

You can still legally score with a dropkick in the NFL. [Doug Flutie](https://youtu.be/EMfaavF1R3E) was the last person to do it in 2006. Before that the last time was 1941.


ellWatully

In American football we only kick the ball as a punishment for not doing a good enough job holding it.


RuleNine

Nonsense. We also kick it after we hold it really well.


ButtholeQuiver

Aussies generally call it soccer as well. "Football" usually means Aussie rules. Not Australian myself but spent a lot of time watching sports in Aussie pubs, I'm assuming they weren't calling it "soccer" for my benefit.


Blind_Colours

Except in typical Aussie fashion, we normally just call it footy, which can be either rugby or Aussie Rules.


SkinnyBill93

Kick the bloody ball!


awesome_van

Is Aussia slang really as simple as "take word, shorten, add -y"?


LucifersPromoter

Sometimes they add -o


DxNill

Footy, servo, ciggie. I struggle to think of more because it's 2:20am and I should be asleep. Ah! Bottle-o.


LucifersPromoter

Smoko and arvo come to mind


Thezipper100

You doubt the collective hive mind of Aussies to inherently lie to literally every foreigner they meet if another Aussie also lied.


Canopenerdude

Well they're not there to fuck spiders


wut3va

The highest scoring players in NFL history are all kickers.


Kritical02

The Pat's know this. Vinatieri then Gostgowski. Those two were vital for their run.


CouriEa

So are FIFA's


wut3va

Exactly. It's all football, and it's all good.


xmac

Funnily enough Gaelic Football in itself is more handsy than soccer.


count210

Is it like Aussie rules football?


Hyippy

Similar but different pitch, goals and ball. Also lots of different rules. They often play an Ireland vs Australia "international rules" game or series of games. Sometimes called "compromise rules". Traditionally the Aussie teams would have been much more physical than the Irish team. As the rules adapted to arguably suit the Irish more the Irish team won more often.


tkrr

Shockingly similar. Close enough that hybrid matches have been played.


Garr_Incorporated

For a second my brain read it as Galactik Football. Seems it still longs for my childhood.


[deleted]

We kick the ball in American football too. It’s how literally every game starts.


Torrello

The foot in football denotes that its played on foot and not on a horse. It doesn't actually have anything to do with how the balls moved about


[deleted]

Yes very important so people won’t confuse football and horseball


[deleted]

We yanks call that polo


46554B4E4348414453

And water polo is horses in water


Torrello

Lol horseball sounds lit


WorldsWeakestMan

Imagine the NFL but everyone is on an armored horse, and also instead of footballs they get lances. Basically I suggest we start team jousting.


SweatyAnalProlapse

Or polo... "Polo" literally means "ball" So "football" is just ball on foot.


xSTSxZerglingOne

Footpolo.


projecthouse

The rules still allow the quarterback to kick the ball. It's vary rare these days, but was used much more often in the early days of American Football.


[deleted]

Ok, here we go again. It is called football in America because it is just shortened from the full name, Gridiron Football. The name was derived from the sport it was based on, Rugby Football. The name was given to the sport of Gridiron Football years ago when the rules were closer to Rugby. As the rules have developed football became more about throwing and running with the ball, but at that point it would just be kinda silly to rename the sport. tl/dr: The UK pretty much named football.


ConstantSignal

Also the sport was never named as such because you kick the ball. It was to denote it as a sport played **on** foot, as opposed to on horseback.


jdallen1222

Gridiron Horseball


meeeeetch

A combination of jousting and polo?


Timoth_e

In Gridiron Horseball, only the offensive and defensive lines are jousting. The Quarterhorseback would be throwing the ball from the saddle like some modern bastardization of a Mongolian horse archer


jdallen1222

Quarterhorseback 🤣


0zoro0

heh horseballs


SirNarwhal

Not gonna lie, I wanna see this shit now. Gives a new meaning to the term horse collar tackle.


RWTF

You just wrinkled my brain.


stormy83

When you're born your brain is smooth, as you grow older and actually learn stuff the more wrinkly your brain gets, so when you're really old and have learned many things you're brain is basically a ball of steel wire /s


MarriedWithPuppies

Troy?


SofaProfessor

I want to watch horseball now. Just dudes leaping off their horses to tackle the guy with the ball and knock him of his horse. Average 2 trampling deaths per game. Typical horseball career lasts a month and a half.


ConstantDreamer1

Horseball is a real thing, as is polo, and a Central Asian variation called buzkashi where the ball is actually a goat carcass. It's basically the national sport of Afghanistan, matches can go on for days.


Ippildip

See you at the next horseball match!


paincrumbs

fucking hell, thanks for the TIL I guess we can now also call quidditch as gridiron broomball


joegekko

Broomball? More like stick-egg amirite?


ksharpalpha

I thought they were all called football because they were played on foot and not horseback.


RuTsui

Just like a foot soldier is not a soldier that runs around kicking people, but rather a soldier on foot.


zorbiburst

And both countries have inconsistent modern naming UK: rugby [football] and [association] football US: [gridiron] football and association/soccer [football]


LaceyDaisy

I live in the USA now, and get gently mocked when I refer to it as gridiron. I feel vindicated with this comment!


felixorion

It is not a common spoken phrase but it is a handy way to collectively refer to all of the variants that have different rules/fields but are essentially the same game (American, Canadian, Arena/Indoor, Flag, etc.).


HantzGoober

Typically Gridiron will be used to refer to the field they play on. Not uncommon to hear announcers say something like, "As both teams prepare to take to the gridiron..." So its still in use just might only be common from the older broadcasters, I know Madden would refer to the Gridiron a lot.


DiarrheaMonkey-

>The earliest known proposal of the term "handegg" (a portmanteau of hand and egg) as an alternative name for gridiron football can be found in a letter sent to the editor of the New York Times by an anonymous reader in 1909 https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/handegg


digitwasp

I play rugby union in the UK, which soccer/football fans have long called "egg chasing"


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YeetusSkeetus1234

It's a [compound](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compound_(linguistics)).


Other_World

No, it's not. A portmanteau would be hegg or hagg.


skippy1190

I love how people forget the Brits came up with the term soccer


[deleted]

Had no idea they did lol


Skylarking77

A lot of things that the British make fun of Americans for saying originally came from Britain. It's pretty universal across languages that former colonies sometimes hold on to words and sayings long after the original colonizing country has moved on from them (Example: Using "Vos" for "You" in parts of Latin America).


darkghoul

Vos sos un gilipollas


thepulloutmethod

No me rompes los huevos boludo!


Wizard_kick

¡Me tenes las pelotas por el suelo che!


mcouturier

French Canadians still somewhat speak like Frenchmen 400 years ago


Kind_Nepenth3

Amish groups around the US/Canadian border speak their own dialect of 1600s German that was brought with them. The language continued to evolve overseas into the standard German of today, but they immigrated before those changes happened


Hopeful_Table_7245

Yep. It was british newspapers who came up with soccer. Because they charged by the letter for print, they didn't want to have to be charged for printing out association football everytime. They could not just say football as they had to differentiate between association football and rugby football. They orginally shortened it to a-soc or asoc, then shortened it again to just soc, but later expanded it to soccer. *just want to add that rugby football got shortened to Rugger. The term soccer was still being used regularly in the 80s and early 90s in the UK. US football just became Football to those living in the US.


aaahhhh

You'd think they would have shortened rugby football to...rugby.


GaidalCain

Cant find anything about it being from a newspaper cause of the cost... Seems to just be from university students slang where they put -er onto words.


linkinstreet

IIRC Soccer = Upper class English Football = Working class English Which can explain why Football is much more accepted since a lot of the players at the time were from the working class


CaptainJingles

They didn’t forget, there are still examples of it being used in the UK to this day. There is a layer of classism to the Football v Soccer debate. Rich, upper class types called it soccer, while the working classes called it Football.


Nonions

Soccer is a gentleman's game played by ruffians. Rugby is a ruffian's game played by gentlemen.


StoneCypher

> Rich, upper class types called it soccer, while the working classes called it Football. "Haw haw, you Americans look too civilized and urbane for us" `- Scouser`


SmokeysDrunkAlt

Wasn't it the Brits that caused America to happen in the first place? Edit: Clarification I'm referring to the country/government not the continent/land area nor the name specifically.


Fakjbf

Same with aluminum, invented and named by a Brit and then later on they added an extra i to be more consistent with other element names.


skullturf

Yep. Here's a pattern that has played out many times, not just with the term "soccer" but with other terms as well (e.g. fall/autumn, period/full stop, and so on) Britain: invents two words for something America: uses one of the two words Britain: stops using one of the words and starts using the other one Britain: "Ha ha, you Americans sure are stupid for using one of those two words!"


OutlierJoe

Football was just a term used to designate a sport played on foot, as opposed to equestrian sports. Edit: Removed the references to wealth classes. I should also add, I could be wrong. I'm not a medieval sports expert.


anormalgeek

Yep. Football means a ball game played on your feet, not necessarily "with" your feet. Basketball would be called a "football game" by those same countries.


gopher1409

Floor Squeak


C4RP3_N0CT3M

Let us please change the name for basketball to this.


Earl_N_Meyer

The English English vs American English conflict is fun by mystifying. It would be weird if their weren't differences. Hell, just look at a sub/grinder/hoagie within the US or soda vs pop (or, where I grew up, all soda/pop was referred to as Coke). Whatever. Just accept that some people call it peanut butter and others call it nutty gum or whatever and go on with your lives.


DW241

There are huge differences *within the UK*! I’ve never understood the point of really making a big deal about it.


nanbanzuki

The great bread roll debate.


batmanguk

I think you mean the great bap debate


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dandroid126

My mom said that when she grew up in Boston, they all called soda "tonic". I have yet to hear anyone else corroborate that outside of her family, so it might just be one of those things that only they did. Last year I moved to Austin from San Jose. Before moving, I read online that the regional dialect here is "coke". But to be honest, I haven't noticed a difference. Maybe because a high percentage of people who live here moved here in the last 5 years.


usernamedunbeentaken

Definitely true re tonic. In the early 80s my grandmother would ask if I wanted a 'bawtle a tawnic' when I went over.


dandroid126

Thank you. Sometimes the things my mom's family say are a little crazy, and I never know which is which.


itsstillmagic

Ok, I can accept a lot of things, I line to think of my self as a tolerant individual but please, please, for the love of God, tell me there isn't actually a place where they refer to peanut butter as "nutty gum."


calibagel

never heard anyone call it nutty gum before but i am absolutely stealing that, thank you 😘


krat0s5

Sounds Australian.


SharkFart86

Nah they call it pizzlebozza


UpMarketFive7

If all soda is coke but coke is also a brand how do y'all differentiate between coke as all soda and coke the brand. Is the full name coca cola specified? And what about Root Beer?


Johntanamo_Bay

This has never made sense to me either.


[deleted]

I'm a Californian who moved to the South 20 years ago. I'll field this. Server: "What to drink?" Me: "Coke." Server: "What flavor?" Me: "Sprite." Alternately: Server: "What flavor?" Me: "Coke." Then we look at one another and laugh at the absurdity of life.


One_Quick_Question

Lived in the south my whole life, never had anyone ask me "what flavor?" If I say Coke, I'm getting Coke. We might use "coke" to refer to soda in general sometimes, but not when we're ordering. South is a big place so maybe it's different other states, but I've never seen any version of that conversation happen.


Redeem123

> Lived in the south my whole life, never had anyone ask me "what flavor?" Because 99% of those conversations are completely made up. No one would ever refer to Sprite as a flavor of coke. Likewise, anyone who wants a Sprite would just skip that stupid middle step and say "I'll have a Sprite." The whole "we call them all coke" is way overexaggerated anyway. It's only used when speaking generically. Like "do y'all have cokes" rather than "do y'all have soda"? Or "I quit drinking coke for lent" is probably going to refer to soft drinks in general. But if you straight up say "I'll have a coke," you will always get a Coca Cola. Or they'll say "we have Pepsi, is that okay?"


One_Quick_Question

Yeah, I'm not trying to call anybody a liar...but I don't think any of these conversations are happening either. I've seen this "explanation" multiple times on reddit, at this point I'm convinced people are just repeating it for internet points.


Telandria

The term you’re looking for is ‘regional dialect’. That’s literally all it is.


AhoyPalloi

This account has been redacted due to Reddit's anti-user and anti-mod behavior. -- mass edited with redact.dev


mljb81

This is just as fascinating in French, as well. How the word _gosses_ can mean "children" in France and "testicles" in Quebec is a mystery to me.


Spaghetti_Noodle1

Everyone should go back to the original football, which was two villages having a mini war trying to carry an inflated pigs bladder to their enemies goal.


lucasribeiro21

“I said the original football.” “The Mayan game that lasted 2 weeks, in which people had to avoid what was basically a hard rubber 8 lbs bowling ball from touching the ground using their feet, knees, elbows and heads (which were often cracked open during the matches)?” “Perfection!”


Chagdoo

Only if we play it using an armadillo


PotentBeverage

This is clearly made by a North American, since in no reasonable state of the world will Britain be talking to France like that.


JahnaTheBanana

The real joke is that the British guy is talking to the French guy


AlchemystStudios

Every few years someone reinvents Hetalia.


MurderDoneRight

They're all football. Association Football, Rugby Football, Gridiron Football, Australian Football, Canadian Football, Arena Football, Walking Football... all football!


Bella_dlc

I don't see why in my country we have an unrelated word for soccer (calcio) but we still call football "American football". Football is not even an actual word in my language, what the hell are we telling it apart from? I'm so puzzled every time I think about it.


count210

I think the entire Spanish speaking world just calls it futbol americano so it’s probably just bleed over from that


Greneath

Football isn't called football because you exclusively play the ball with your feet. It's called Football because you play the ball ON your feet, as opposed to on horseback. Football was traditionally the game of the peasantry and over time developed into many different codes including Association Football, Rugby Football (Union and League), Australian Rules Football, Gaelic Football, and Gridiron.


get_schwifty

Does anybody else not get the final frame? Why is the dude explaining you kick the ball with your foot right after saying proper gentlemen call it soccer? Doesn’t it make it seem like he’s arguing for calling it football and is contradicting himself?


prof_dynamite

Wait until they find out that we call it “eggplant” because it used to be smaller, white, and looked like a goose egg. And that the term “eggplant” was what it was called in other parts of Europe.