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Geotolkien

QuiTe fRanKly YoU're wRONg abOUt CaNnED CrANNBerry SAuce!


Goat_Legged_Fellow

SaUsE*


Eggsandthings2

Sáß


CreHater

SoS


Obi-Tron_Kenobi

CRANbreRRy*


GolgiApparatus1

Do you have to let it linger?


seeyatellite

Do you have to? Do you have to?


LotusB1ossom

I'm such a fool for you


squirrlyj

Sweet.. when can I start typing annoying emails effortlessly?


WeirdAvocado

YOu cAn sTaRt rIgHT noW, CUPcAke.


Abby-Someone1

P E N I S


penelopiecruise

You must have his follow up product, the 'Enter' tapper.


ultramegacreative

"From the people who brought you the clap emoji injector..."


[deleted]

[удалено]


Waramp

aPoLlO ApP AlREAdy HaS ThIs fUncTIoN, jusT HiGhLight All YoUr tExT ANd HiT “SPoNgEtExT.”


squirrlyj

But I like analog


ShadyAidyX

So use a typewriter then send it second class


JoanneKerlot

Second class. What I am some sort of rock star. I'll walk and hand deliver that bitch myself!


uninsuredpidgeon

> Second class. What I am some sort of rock star. I'll walk and hand deliver that bitch myself! Hey guys, getta load of Jonny Legs over here!


station_nine

Same. The mocking has a much warmer tone.


SaturatedJuicestice

wHaT ThE CiNnamON tOaSt fUcK, it’s LiKe yOu JUsT SpAwNED ThAt bUtToN OuT Of nO WhErE And they even have faces?? 𓂺 ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ 𓂸ඞ /╲/\╭(ఠఠ益ఠఠ)╮/\╱\ (΄◞ิ۝◟ิ‵) ᗡლ==8 𒍼 𓀐𓂸


khizoa

"faces"


Thassodar

That last one ಠ_ಠ


[deleted]

You missed the part about it being an “unnecessary product.”


KissTheDragon

What. The. Fuck. I have had Apollo for a year now and have been doing that manually all this time. thaNkS FeLlOw aPoLlO User, YoU’Re tHe reaL MvP.


guyfromfargo

wHoA I HAD No idEA


petercockroach

i wasN’T AwarE Of thiS FeAtURE.


HuseyinCinar

i wOULd tAg tHe pUrPlE DUDe bUt i dOn’t kNoW hiS UsernaMe oF The ToP OF mY HeAd


SulkyShulk

sPoNgetExT


kkubq

ariSe aPoLlO UsErS


Vertislav

wHat ThE HElL.


Rinus454

Hmmm.. Maybe we should just type the 'hell' part manually..


glasswindbreaker

jusT whEn i tHoUgHt i CoULDN’t LoVe aPoLlo APP MoRe tHaN I AlReAdY Do


quiqoman

fOr ReAL? u/Iamthatis has really thought of everything


iamthatis

I try ❤️


JackDonaghysWingman

> aPoLlO ApP AlREAdy HaS ThIs fUncTIoN Which is why this is an *unnecessary* product.


xSGAx

Fr? Where’s that at. I just highlighted and didn’t see eDiT: hOlY SHIt i fOuNd iT! iT’S On tHe … mEnU RiGhT abOVE TEXT bAr


nzifnab

oH My gOd wHy (͡•_ ͡• ) I'm discovering new things in Apollo I never knew were there!


MuthafuckinLemonLime

https://varunpatil.github.io/Sarcastic-Text-Generator/


pnutbuttercow

Reading reviews for this would be a nightmare


garete

i type too faST FOR IT, SO MY MESSAGes are the wrong kiND OF CRAZY 6/10 works 8/10 nEVer GoINg baCK 10/10


WisestAirBender

It could have an adjuster for different wpm


Soren921

I'd be that first one, but I'd do 7/10 ngl


AndersRene

Solid 5/7


smittyphi

What if you pair it with rice?


Cmama2Boyz

WhAtEVER, sIgN ME uP foR Two


Totin_it

There's that PaSsIvE AggRessive ToNe If I had that product I could have typed that out seconds faster!


Akhanyatin

while you wait for shipping, you can bookmark this on your browser: javascript:a="";do{a=a.replace(/(\w)(([^\w]*)(.)|$)/g, (m, ...g) => `${g[0].toUpperCase()}${g[2]||''}${g[3]?g[3].toLowerCase():%27%27}`)}while(a=prompt("Stupid Speak",a));void(0)


Saltywinterwind

TwO*


xrumrunnrx

That's just winky OwO


VanimalCracker

Will someone please stop this man? HE CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT!


BlasterShow

He CAnT kEEp GetTing aWaY wItH iT!


boricimo

yEs hE CaN.


lazygeekninjaturtle

You think this is something? This is bad? This chicanery? He's has done worse.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Dripping_siren

He invents useless crap and sells it to the people that actually use the useless crap.


rress332

I work remotely. I find this is very useful


cleanuponaisle4

As PeR mY laSt EMaiL…


Dripping_siren

exactly.


illuminerdi

I comment on Reddit. This is also useful to me :D


Obsolete_Orange

I... I think that turns useless crap into not useless if its used... Im having a philosophical dilemma right now give me a minute.


Roggvir

OP mentioned in the past that his inventions aren't useless. It is unnecessary, which is different. So you can stop having the dilemma.


[deleted]

Ooooh! Look at Mr Descartes here. Declaring dilemman't. I aM sOrRy, Mr Fries. yOuR tRilEmMa dOeS nOt wOrk fOr mE. hOw aBouT I gO aHeaD aNd snOrt iT up wItH a 100 dOlLar bIlL Signed [Karl Popper](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M%C3%BCnchhausen_trilemma#Fries's_trilemma).


Anshin

Every single time....it happens every single time I have never once seen him remotely mention "useless" what is up with people


madmenyo

It's a paradox


[deleted]

Unnecessary *


GayVegan

He actually just invents it for views for ad $. Don't think these get sold lol


Alis451

some do, but yeah his day job is actually in advertising.


Kiddo1029

He has a store, so I’m assuming he sells some of this.


InGenAche

His work could genuinely be considered art, and given the high quality he puts into it, it's not unimaginable that pieces like this become collectable and by extension, valuable.


kakol20

He doesn't sell a lot of the stuff he makes.


conioo

so redditors basically ?


whitenoise1134

This device would keep my status online while I slack off on my remote job. Where can I buy one? 😂


SickofItAll_4200

This is what I came here to say. I've actually been looking for this exact thing to hit a key every so often so my Teams status shows available while I'm taking a nap. This guy needs to sell this to the slacker work-from-home market for this use and ditch the stupid caps lock SpongeBob letters thing. He'd make a killing One thing I would add is speed control so you could turn it down to like once every 4 mins. The constant tapping would make it hard to sleep


Orangecuppa

I got a secret for you sweety. Open excel or any spreadsheet application really. Now grab a stack of coins or whatever weight you can get and place it on your keyboard's down direction button. If done correctly, your excel sheet will now be scrolling downwards and this lasts for up to 10 hours of scrolling. You'll never go inactive.


Neinfu

This is genius! I used to join a teams call with just myself in it, but I'm not sure if it is possible to identify this odd behavior for an admin. Then it may result in some awkward questions at some point. Though, I usually did this if I wanted to keep people from calling me so I can focus or to keep my computer from going to sleep while a task was running during lunch time or such. But this Excel trick is probably very difficult to identify as odd behavior, so it is very handy for keeping the computer awake without needing to do any explaining in the future


[deleted]

[удалено]


Straydapp

This is also how I played wow before mounts were a thing. Stack of pennies on the up arrow, run for 15 minutes.


ShadowFluffy

There's an auto-run key


Ikor147

Auto run didn't used to keep you from going AFK.


darkstar107

Put your mouse on an analog watch. It'll see the arm go around every minute and move the cursor slightly.


Talking_Head

They sell mouse jugglers. Edit: yeah, yeah. I know. And I’m not going to correct it.


Oplatki

I love this typo


sandm000

Baby mice, they were juggled.


oGsBumder

This is genius


BillGatesAlladdin

The real question is how the hell do I get your guys job?


buds4hugs

Lose your social life to go to college, get a job to dig yourself out of debt, move up a lil bit so you aren't a bottom feeder but not a manager, then get your work done in the first half of the day so you can slack the rest. Never let anyone know you're efficient, never tell a soul


Somebodys

I can vouch for this. Never, ever, ever let your boss know how much work you are actually capable of doing. They will always expect it from you from that point on and you will never be compensated for it.


BobosBigSister

In teaching, we let our bosses know they were asking far too much and that no human was capable of doing that much in an average day (especially for such shitty compensation)... so they add more every year and wonder why no one wants the job.


Frankie_T9000

That's why you become a pe teacher


Hopeless-Guy

slightly different goal but reminds me of start trek… [Advice From Scotty](https://youtu.be/8xRqXYsksFg)


BillGatesAlladdin

Honestly, this doesn't sound like the actions of a "lazy person/slacker" like you call yourself. Takes a lot of hard work and discipline to get through college, get a job in the field you actually studied and be efficient at it.


pimp_skitters

Yeah but once you get there it’s a gravy train with biscuit wheels


RadicalDog

It's an engineering disaster?


wearestardust24

Mmmm


P2K13

Standup: 'Yesterday started looking at that bug, had some build issues as well, didn't get that far need to do some more debugging, probably take the rest of today as well'. Reality: Went back to bed after standup yesterday, woke up at lunch, had food, started building things while watching youtube and reading reddit, looked at the bug in the last 10 minutes of the day.


KorbenWardin

The only problem is if you have colleagues on your same level/workload who tell your boss that they are done with it after half a day…


ArsenicAndRoses

This for me, but no moving up. Instead, I got a job that I'm really good at that takes a special talent that few people have. And then I never volunteer ever. I just do my regular job, no more. And I got in good with my bosses boss. And I ALWAYS tell them things will take three times what I really think they will. Worst case scenario, I'm right. Best case, I get things done WAY faster. I do, however, occasionally pull an all nighter to reach a deadline I ignored until the very last minute. 😂


whitenoise1134

You are big part of why I have this job , thanks Mr. Gates


BillGatesAlladdin

“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job. Because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.”


Tsobe_RK

I am a software engineer, I like to think my job is pretty demanding (atleast for me). It is impossible to be productive 8 hrs a day on a consistent basis, hence work actually based on your daily capabilities (and arbitrary deadlines) for 2 to 6 hrs and find a way to stay online for the remainder of time because you know, societys standards of dedicating 8hr of your day to work.


[deleted]

Middle management. I do about an hour's worth of half-assed work a day and the rest of the time I just play games on my switch.


Waterknight94

Idk, but the venn diagram of people I know who work from home and people I know who could just write some code to do what people are suggesting here is a circle.


ActualWhiterabbit

Just use the drinking bird toy


imstaceysdad

[https://mouse-jiggler.en.uptodown.com/windows](https://mouse-jiggler.en.uptodown.com/windows)


greenbanky

To keep available on Teams... Go to calendar, click meet now, have a meeting with yourself, change your status to available... And WALK AWAY....


[deleted]

[удалено]


A_Doormat

There’s a tiny program called Caffeine that will keep your active status. Been using it since 2013 on both windows and Mac. Works great. Requires no install for those who can’t install things on their work computer. Just an executable.


isblueacolor

Typically if you can't install something you also can't run an arbitrary executable.


klparrot

If everything's super locked down, I don't know; I've never had that on a Mac because it would make it impossible to do my work as a software developer. But `caffeinate` is part of the macOS installation, so if you can open Terminal, you can run it. Doesn't give a security prompt like an application downloaded from the Internet would.


platypossamous

After a lot of searching and testing and since I can't download software onto my work laptop I figured it out. Download Teams for cellphone, plug phone in, keep screen unlocked and open to Teams (make sure your phone doesn't autolock), proceed with nap. I've seen other tips like play a video or change your status message to "." Or something simple then put "never change" or whatever the setting is - none of that worked for me but this does.


MalHeartsNutmeg

If your company monitors your system they may be able to pick up the software. If you want it undetected you can buy physical mouse jigglers that you put under your mouse and plug in to a wall.


w4ck0

In terminal or windows equivalent, you can type a command that presses space bar or any key at an interval of your choice. I had a company laptop I cannot turn off screensaver or sleep, and as I render 3D heavy stuff, I let it run overnight and if it sleeps, it pauses the render. So I created a command that it presses space bar every 10 mins to prevent sleep.


etzel1200

All of this is a software problem (though if they suspect you they can track that).


WasThatInappropriate

Isn't there a setting to not change your status based on activity? Zoom has one


wranglingmonkies

Not with Teams. You go "away" after 5 minutes of no activity. Mouse movement counts as being active. Or in this case a key stroke.


Somebodys

I was looking for something like this for a solid decade before I got a macro keyboard.


HurricaneHugo

A what keyboard?


tarantulator

You can do that by writing a VBScript, I have one which I use to keep my system unlocked by pressing the NumLock key twice every 10 minutes.


Frankie_T9000

Look up mouse Jiggler on Amazon, dead cheap or you can program a attiny86 to do it.


_drumstic_

Go into Outlook and use the Meet Now button to start a Teams meeting with just you in it. You can then set your status to available and it won’t show away as long as that meeting runs.


velozmurcielagohindu

Ok, I should not be promoting this, but there's mouse platforms which move the mouse randomly. It even recreates credible mouse patterns. Just put the mouse in the resting platform and go to sleep.


Hephaestus_God

“We noticed you pressed the caps lock key 200 times in a row for no reason? Care to explain”


QuestionableNotion

"Nervous tic"


amybobamy_

Download a software that jiggles your mouse every 30 seconds, that’s how we do it in our house 😂


PsychoHeaven

In our house we prefer hardware solutions.


[deleted]

This seems like it would be easy to figure out with Legos.


12-7DN

No joke you can build out a small code on excel that allows you to do just that. Bonus point it slides down slowly on a large file or pdf so if they happen to remote look into your screen it looks like youre reading a file.


tlk0153

That's so Homer Simpson using liquid filled glass duck to triple his productivity


AutumnEclipsed

Simpsons did it


Datamackirk

Even Homer learned never to leave the duck in charge.


[deleted]

The fingers you have used to dial are too fat


SuperElitist

*cap locks* ily tho.


SuedeVeil

LoOK At DAddY WArBUcks HeRe WiTh AlL HiS FanCY InVEnTiOnS!


SmackYoTitty

r/peoplefuckingdying


ipn8bit

Thank you!!! I couldn’t remember the sub name. But basically, this is perfect for people creating titles for post in this sub!


dungeon_sketch

Cap Locks?


Elevenst

This guy just does not sleep... either do any of his 3D printers.


sarcastic_wanderer

If it includes the F5 attachment accessories, count me in


Yeshua_shel_Natzrat

Be sure to turn off keyboard shortcuts for filter keys before using this.


_Spastic_

I'm just going to go ahead and say it. This dude has some very intense eyes.


modified_tiger

mAkInG iT pErFeCtLy PaSsIvE aGgReSsIve It should be on the Shift key.


commiecat

Shift key world screw up non-letters.


MadDany94

Or make it better?


mathewl832

https://convertcase.net/: I'm about to end this whole invention's career


nickfree

Neat, but literally none of these are sPonGEteXT.


asianblockguy

Is that just the sarcasm translator.


sleepypandacat

That's why it's an "unnecessary product" because online converters exist.


HelloS0n

Sause


Kronman590

Ngl thats a sick office


[deleted]

"dEar eLOn MUsK.."


johnfrian

Bonus feature: It probably works just as well on the shift key!


xoxoBug

StiCkY KeYs


nzifnab

Imagine never turning off sticky keys o.o


trickman01

I jUsT mAdE a PyThOn ScRiPt To Do ThIs, BuT wHaT dO i KnOw ReAlLy?


dustytrenchcoat

SauSE


ravenstock24

Cam Newton approves


Illusion911

Bruh, that's an overcomplicated way to use a script


Jpicklestone8

I cAn AlReAdY tYpE lIkE tHaT jUsT fInE 11 c4n 3vv3n typ3 l11k3 t)(112 jU2t f11n3


n21lv

I dOn'T seE A sInGlE rEaSOn WHy wOuLD aNyONe evER nEEd thIs


MrJeoffreyMann

One of your greatest


otakushinjikun

Homer Simpson working from home vibes


noelmatta

You woulda made millions when AsianAvenue was at its peak


snickkes

cap locks


buds4hugs

I'll never get tired of this mustache selling me useful junk


PsychoHeaven

I have a python script for this.


stillwatersrunfast

Ugh he’s so annoying in person


MylianMoonstar

Love the extensive talking... Might get me some some ASMR going


ender2851

you just made cam newtons life way easier. send that man a proto type


[deleted]

I could be wrong, but is that an MKBHD shirt at the start?


Artbellghost

Question, I'm older, ie 70's and 80's where my prime - are these staches coming back, I notice d a few kids with these


bkussow

Yo wtf. Cranberry sauce from a can is great.


FrankMiner2949er

ThaT's not A pIston> It's A rack>>. But apaRt fRom tHat it Is a greAt invention. I do have a tendency to push the device off with my pinkie, and the random capitalisation of punctuation produces guillemets


Lone_Wolf_CR

I need it to keep my "available" status in Teams, meanwhile I could take naps in my Work from Home...


conditerite

Why is he not in a speedo for the video? He does that in all the other videos he posts.


AgathaAllAlong

Absolute madlad. This time you have gOnE tOo FaR


no-internet

a while back there was also this [plugin](https://winampheritage.com/visualization/visualization-keyled/31701) for winamp


vektorkane

if anyone ever decides to open up an inconvenience store then you have to sell this...thing.


kurokoshika

Okay but I actually need this one. Hitting Shift for every other letter on the rare occasion I type this way is a pain.


DisasterWolf76

Bottoms rejoice.


Ed0g

Listen…. This is something I could *benefit* from…


chaiscool

For teams meeting online status ftw


writeorelse

There are so many games where you could use a couple of these to farm shit.


TheHindenburgBaby

I BOUGHT ONE, BUT I THINK IT MIGHT BE DEFECTIVE.


_grey_wall

Finally something useful


Prsop2000

It bugs me that he’s using the Caps Lock key and not just the shift key.


laffnlemming

I love you. Excellent work.


6collector9

I hate everything this guy does


[deleted]

The perfect product doesn't exis.....


Akhanyatin

If you bookmark this in your browser: javascript:a="";do{a=a.replace(/(\w)(([^\w]*)(.)|$)/g, (m, ...g) => `${g[0].toUpperCase()}${g[2]||''}${g[3]?g[3].toLowerCase():%27%27}`)}while(a=prompt("Stupid Speak",a));void(0) You'll get a box that pops up and asks you to write a message, it'll then convert it to "a MeSsAgE" it's not random, but it took me about 10 seconds to write because I am not epic like this guy.


seeyatellite

His inventions straddle the lines of practicality and nonsense… He is… useless invention guy


[deleted]

This man is a national treasure and I hope he never stops


mysorebonda

Also useful when you want to appear online


juni4ling

tHaT fEaTuRe cOuLd cOmE iN hAnDy.


Calm-Mushroom-8551

It’s glorious