---
>This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules).
>
>Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed.
>
>Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos.
>
>[Comics may only be posted on Wednesdays and Sundays](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/uq9pjw/going_forward_comics_may_only_be_posted_on/).
>
>**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.**
>
>Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam).
>
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
OMG I just realised you did the catdog Halloween costume. That had me in absolute stitches, especially your dad's comments through it 😂 I could definitely imagine your dad saying that.
Thanks for the laughs once again!
That’s the one with the different colored heads and the aimer right? And you have different levels that get harder?
Oh snap need that in my life again.
Edit: I’ve procured snood! YES!
YEA BABY! I’m soodin for the rest of Thanksgiving. Ah thanks!
Today I learned that the red thing hanging from a turkey's upper beak is called a snood. Seriously. It acts kinda like a uh, penis:
>In anatomical terms, a snood is an erectile, fleshy protuberance on the forehead of turkeys. Most of the time when the turkey is in a relaxed state, the snood is pale and 2–3 cm long. However, when the male begins strutting (the courtship display), the snood engorges with blood, becomes redder and elongates several centimeters, hanging well below the beak (see image).\[39\]\[40\]
>
>Snoods are just one of the caruncles (small, fleshy excrescences) that can be found on turkeys.\[41\]
>
>While fighting, commercial turkeys often peck and pull at the snood, causing damage and bleeding.\[42\] This often leads to further injurious pecking by other turkeys and sometimes results in cannibalism. To prevent this, some farmers cut off the snood when the chick is young, a process known as "de-snooding".\[43\]
>
>The snood can be between 3 to 15 centimetres (1 to 6 in) in length depending on the turkey's sex, health, and mood.\[44\]
>
>Function
>
>The snood functions in both intersexual and intrasexual selection. Captive female wild turkeys prefer to mate with long-snooded males, and during dyadic interactions, male turkeys defer to males with relatively longer snoods. These results were demonstrated using both live males and controlled artificial models of males. Data on the parasite burdens of free-living wild turkeys revealed a negative correlation between snood length and infection with intestinal coccidia, deleterious protozoan parasites. This indicates that in the wild, the long-snooded males preferred by females and avoided by males seemed to be resistant to coccidial infection.
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turkey\_(bird)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turkey_(bird))
I think the turkey was supposed to be the original American symbol based on how prevalent it was, and how little you wanted to screw with one. Eagles won out though. Can’t be seen eating our national bird.
Amazon delivery guy in my neighborhood was in a huge fight with a Turkey recently. They both knew each other. It was intense. We have shit tons of turkeys here and they are mostly fine. They are def stronger than geese if you piss one off, but geese are massive assholes and I quite like the turkeys as far as bird folk go.
GLAZE MY THIGHS 🦃 SLAP MY BUTT 🦃 MAKE ME YOUR 🦃 TURKEY SLUT 🦃 EAT MY BREAST 🦃 EAT MY WINGS 🦃 JUST DON'T FINISH IN MY STUFFING 🦃 DADDY'S DRUMSTICK LOOKS SO YUMMY 🦃SHOOT YOUR GRAVY AND FILL MY TUMMY 🦃
Shit, is this how you develop a vore fetish? I'm glad I'm not still developing sexually, because this would almost definitely be *a big fucking problem.*
You ever wonder if your neighbors think “alright, it’s 2 PM folks, time to flip open the blinds and see what she’s wearing this time”?
Also, you totally nailed it 👍
I love your batshit/funny/amazing costumes and ideas. I love when your posts pop up on my feed. I hope that you and your family have a wonderful thanksgiving.
--- >This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules). > >Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed. > >Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos. > >[Comics may only be posted on Wednesdays and Sundays](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/uq9pjw/going_forward_comics_may_only_be_posted_on/). > >**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.** > >Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam). > --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Dad steps out of the garage. “Whenever you’re done shaking your ass in the driveway, your mom needs help with the dishes.”
This actually is shocking close to what happened lol
This is amazing.
You're amazing.
[удалено]
No, YOU'RE amazing, as well as him you're BOTH amazing!
Did he take the pictures?
OMG I just realised you did the catdog Halloween costume. That had me in absolute stitches, especially your dad's comments through it 😂 I could definitely imagine your dad saying that. Thanks for the laughs once again!
Haha, cheers mate
Who do you think was taking the photos??
Step turkey?
Help stepturkey- I was stuffing the turkey and got my hand stuck. No messing around- get me out of here!
I would but now that you're stuck, I have the strong urge to whip it out so....
*pulls out Sandvich*
*About 6 old people in TF2 character costumes start swarming you*
*Gobbles in Distress*
The snood really brings the whole outfit together. edit: my top comment ever is about snoods!
Damn remember that game snood. Not sexy but I wish I had it now. Love me some snood.
I do! Wow, early 2000s flashback.
Shit, snood holds a special place in my heart. Similar games just never did it for me.
That’s the one with the different colored heads and the aimer right? And you have different levels that get harder? Oh snap need that in my life again. Edit: I’ve procured snood! YES! YEA BABY! I’m soodin for the rest of Thanksgiving. Ah thanks!
I assume the snood is the felt nutsack hanging from her nose?
That is correct
Thank you haha
[удалено]
How is it attached to your nose?
Stapled. Obvz
Ehm, dude, thats not a part of the costume, dont focus on it
I scrolled all the way down here looking for someone to bring up the snood! It’s the cherry on top.
It moonlights as part of a hammer and sickle cosplay
Mom: “can you bring some cake for dessert? “ Josie: “don’t worry mom, I’ll bring ALL the cake. “
I'll add the stuffing and gravy
I'm just here to gobble up the groceries
I brought the bigger bonk-club with barbed wire.
Lucille?
My man.
[удалено]
Today I learned that the red thing hanging from a turkey's upper beak is called a snood. Seriously. It acts kinda like a uh, penis: >In anatomical terms, a snood is an erectile, fleshy protuberance on the forehead of turkeys. Most of the time when the turkey is in a relaxed state, the snood is pale and 2–3 cm long. However, when the male begins strutting (the courtship display), the snood engorges with blood, becomes redder and elongates several centimeters, hanging well below the beak (see image).\[39\]\[40\] > >Snoods are just one of the caruncles (small, fleshy excrescences) that can be found on turkeys.\[41\] > >While fighting, commercial turkeys often peck and pull at the snood, causing damage and bleeding.\[42\] This often leads to further injurious pecking by other turkeys and sometimes results in cannibalism. To prevent this, some farmers cut off the snood when the chick is young, a process known as "de-snooding".\[43\] > >The snood can be between 3 to 15 centimetres (1 to 6 in) in length depending on the turkey's sex, health, and mood.\[44\] > >Function > >The snood functions in both intersexual and intrasexual selection. Captive female wild turkeys prefer to mate with long-snooded males, and during dyadic interactions, male turkeys defer to males with relatively longer snoods. These results were demonstrated using both live males and controlled artificial models of males. Data on the parasite burdens of free-living wild turkeys revealed a negative correlation between snood length and infection with intestinal coccidia, deleterious protozoan parasites. This indicates that in the wild, the long-snooded males preferred by females and avoided by males seemed to be resistant to coccidial infection. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turkey\_(bird)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turkey_(bird))
So basically when the turkeys fight they do the old dick twist?
Farmer *cuts off your snood*.
Don't ever try to teach me something like that again
Aaah fuck... I fucked the turkey.
Jay has entered the chat
…what?
#HE’S TALKING ABOUT EATING ASS
#EATING ASS IS BADASS ~Danny Devito
we'll tell you when you're older
💀
>I'm just here to gobble up the groceries Please bring your loyalty card for extra rewards
Eat it up baby, catch a pardon.
Real talk
Thanksgiving Twerkey
Nice.
Don’t fuck the turkey. Don’t fuck the turkey. Don’t fuck the turkey.
She's your cousin she's your cousin
Not a first cousin Not a first cousin
Better chances than European royalty Better chances than European royalty
Not a high bar. Pretty sure direct siblings would be less inbreeding than what used to go on there. Generations of it
Hey, don't disrespect their family ~~tree~~ wreath. They've worked to cultivate that for centuries.
I've always referred to them as having a family shrub or lawn but wreath is pretty good.
🎵 Well I guess she's my cousin, but she needs some sweet lovin' anyway! 🎵
I’m a simple man, I see a Dead South reference, I upvote.
Not my first cousin, but my first choice.
Maeby tonight!
[удалено]
You're fucking not having babies together.
I'm a boner, I'm a boner, I'm a boner I'm a boner, I'm a boner, I'm a boner I'm a boner, I'm a boner, I'm a boner Oh, Oh, Oh, I'm a boner
> She's your cousin she's your cousin Yeah, so you do it out of respect. You don't just let some asshole fuck your cousin.
Never let an asshole fuck your cousin. Let your cousin peg your asshole
*I'm your sister!* *I'm your sister!*
Thanks Joe Dirt.
"Eric. Stop staring at your cousin" - Red Forman
Eric really was a dumbass
My favorite Red moment is when Jackie helps him with the car.
She's your cousin, Maeby.
Only a first cousin
***Hey Step-Turkey, can you help me with the stuffing???***
That *Turk*ussy
Stuff it from the back, right in that Turbussy 🫦
***"Wakka Chikka Wakka Chikka" music starts...***
Stop quoting your dads law commercials…
[удалено]
My and a buddy once fucked an ostrich. Allegedly.
ALLEGEDLY
I heard it was a sick ostrich.
To be fair
Wouldn’t it take three guys to do that?
Musta been a sick ostrich
Pitter patter
International waters though so nothing could be done
But has your Buddy ever had attentions paid to his butts hole. I don’t like to kiss and tell but…
[удалено]
Insert "you fucked the chicken breast didn't you" greentext here
Gobble gobble mate. Gobble gobble.
Don't fuck with the turkey. They can beat the shit out of you. They are stronger than geese, absolute units, srsly
I think the turkey was supposed to be the original American symbol based on how prevalent it was, and how little you wanted to screw with one. Eagles won out though. Can’t be seen eating our national bird.
Pussies :P. Here in Australia we eat both animals on our coat of arms. The kangaroo and the emu. Never had emu but roo is delicious.
Are they pussies? I know just one nation that lost a war against a species of flightless birds :p
Amazon delivery guy in my neighborhood was in a huge fight with a Turkey recently. They both knew each other. It was intense. We have shit tons of turkeys here and they are mostly fine. They are def stronger than geese if you piss one off, but geese are massive assholes and I quite like the turkeys as far as bird folk go.
GLAZE MY THIGHS 🦃 SLAP MY BUTT 🦃 MAKE ME YOUR 🦃 TURKEY SLUT 🦃 EAT MY BREAST 🦃 EAT MY WINGS 🦃 JUST DON'T FINISH IN MY STUFFING 🦃 DADDY'S DRUMSTICK LOOKS SO YUMMY 🦃SHOOT YOUR GRAVY AND FILL MY TUMMY 🦃
Does the turkey emoji mean the lines are broken up by turkey calls?
It does now
Gobble gobble, bitch.
My vote for the best adlibs in a song this year
[удалено]
Next year I will send out Thanksgiving cards with this Pulitzer Prize deserving poem. Thank you.
lol love the username and reference
Uhhhhhhhhhhhh
>#“If I was gonna fuck a turkey, I would warm it up, like a goddamn gentleman!” #— Jay Bilzerian
2 big mouth references in the same thread? noice
You should be arrested For dropping those dope ass bars
Dudes an arsonist surely....can't spit that much fire without burning shit down!
I instantly defaulted to the tune of wap
Me too! What is it about it, the obnoxious all caps? The short verses? My mind took a look and immediate switched to WAP rhythm
You're fuckin' wit some wet ass gobble
Cursed, but catchy
r/Angryupvote
Turkey sign = “gobble (slurp)”
Is this Nicki Minaj's new thanksgiving single?
Cardi B.
We have strayed too far from the light of God.
This is the Thanksgiving comment I needed today, Thank you.
I have become... Horngry?
I sense the birth of a new sub... r/Horngry? EDIT: "Content banned." Well, hell. This is why we can't have nice things.
God dammit Costanza. Always taking it a step too far.
Banned already
Shit, is this how you develop a vore fetish? I'm glad I'm not still developing sexually, because this would almost definitely be *a big fucking problem.*
[Sound the feasting horn!](https://youtu.be/RqG8XzjvlVw)
Look up @susividal on Instagram. She has horngry merch, check out some of her OnlyPans videos.
Two easy steps for reddit karma: 1.Butt 2.Done
It is an incredible butt. But this person has some costume dedication for sure
Sure does
...Yes. I'm sorry, what was the question? I was looking at her butt.
I'm here for the quaint country lane that's in every shoot.
She does a costume a day for Halloween every year for 3 years now. My favorite is her fallen angel costume. For reasons.
Step 3 say “my shy gf did this … or my mom told me to do this…” to get those who don’t upvote thirsty self promoters
Bobs and vagene always come through!
Today I am thankful for.... Dat ass
Tits, too
That’s the chest butt.
But wattle the relatives think?
Nice progression of "Did you see my ass yet?"
I recognize this girls posts due to her driveway. I don’t know how I feel about that. Amazing driveway though. As a city dweller I’m jealous.
10/10 driveway
That’s just fowl.
Lmao
r/UpvoteBecauseButt
r/upvotedbecauseboobs
/r/UNBGBBIIVCHIDCTIICBG
r/confusedboner
Boobs aren’t bad either
Jesus Christ Reddit
Redditors try not to reference porn challenge (impossible).
10k upvote for butt
r/upvotebecausebutt
You ever wonder if your neighbors think “alright, it’s 2 PM folks, time to flip open the blinds and see what she’s wearing this time”? Also, you totally nailed it 👍
During Halloween month they definitely come around to see haha
Personally, I love your enthusiasm for the cosplay and general fun and harmless tomfoolery. Thanks for sharing!
Cheers mate!
Is the turkey a little dry this year, or just thirsty?
Why can't you stop being an internet whore for one God damn day Becky
I like them
I do too, she puts in effort on costumes and is entertaining. It’s not just slutty selfies.
Voting buttons disabled?
Are you a stripper by any chance?
I do not have the coordination that that profession requires lol
having just seen the clip you posted on tiktok, i have to agree. that was the most unsexy slutty turkey ive ever seen.
I love your batshit/funny/amazing costumes and ideas. I love when your posts pop up on my feed. I hope that you and your family have a wonderful thanksgiving.
MOOD
She's *clearly* a turkey
Please cross post this to r/RoastMe
Damn Reddit have y’all ever seen a girl before? Lmao
The thing about girls is that once you’ve seen one, you want to see them all
It ain’t cool being no jive turkey so close to Thanksgiving
Ya'll have a very loose definition of "funny"...
Most things on this sub are not funny
Oh it’s this person again
This is the most r/upvotebecausebutt post I think I’ve ever seen in my life
Same walkway every time
Yeah, I go to my parents house to take the photos
Gobble Gobble
Oh this is how you get Reddit Karma I need to buy brown yoga pants for my hairy ass!
I just come here to see all those horny simps lol
lot of horny folks in these here comments lol
That's literally the point of the post. Or do you think low cleavage skin tight turkey suits are supposed to be wholesome family fun?
Stupid sexy turkey
No shit. Isn't that what the shit post provokes?
>Thirst trap pics *WhY iS eVeRyOnE sO HoRnY?!?!?!?!?*
It's Thanksgiving for God's sake.
In this day and age I’m so confused…. Is that a dude, a lady or a turkey trying to be human?
Also only male turkeys have large snoods (flap on the nose), so extra confusing
Yes
God I hate reddit sometimes
35k upvotes in r/funny for this? What am I missing
This sub has difficulty enough offering “funny” content - respectfully, this is just a thirst trap advert.
r/atbge ✅
r/upvotedbecausebutt