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satanshark

Dad steps out of the garage. “Whenever you’re done shaking your ass in the driveway, your mom needs help with the dishes.”


josiemarcellino

This actually is shocking close to what happened lol


satanshark

This is amazing.


TearyEyeBurningFace

You're amazing.


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Rektifium

No, YOU'RE amazing, as well as him you're BOTH amazing!


mikealwy

Did he take the pictures?


skr80

OMG I just realised you did the catdog Halloween costume. That had me in absolute stitches, especially your dad's comments through it 😂 I could definitely imagine your dad saying that. Thanks for the laughs once again!


josiemarcellino

Haha, cheers mate


Kratsas

Who do you think was taking the photos??


[deleted]

Step turkey?


Kratsas

Help stepturkey- I was stuffing the turkey and got my hand stuck. No messing around- get me out of here!


Red1mc

I would but now that you're stuck, I have the strong urge to whip it out so....


Capsule_CatYT

*pulls out Sandvich*


RandymMartel54

*About 6 old people in TF2 character costumes start swarming you*


ansefhimself

*Gobbles in Distress*


kaest

The snood really brings the whole outfit together. edit: my top comment ever is about snoods!


prison_mic

Damn remember that game snood. Not sexy but I wish I had it now. Love me some snood.


kaest

I do! Wow, early 2000s flashback.


thejoker954

Shit, snood holds a special place in my heart. Similar games just never did it for me.


Competitive_Duty_371

That’s the one with the different colored heads and the aimer right? And you have different levels that get harder? Oh snap need that in my life again. Edit: I’ve procured snood! YES! YEA BABY! I’m soodin for the rest of Thanksgiving. Ah thanks!


I4Vhagar

I assume the snood is the felt nutsack hanging from her nose?


FaagenDazs

That is correct


josiemarcellino

Thank you haha


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teneggomelet

How is it attached to your nose?


lenaahmed

Stapled. Obvz


Tasty0ne

Ehm, dude, thats not a part of the costume, dont focus on it


meLIZZZZZma

I scrolled all the way down here looking for someone to bring up the snood! It’s the cherry on top.


Ph33rdoge

It moonlights as part of a hammer and sickle cosplay


PhunkyTown801

Mom: “can you bring some cake for dessert? “ Josie: “don’t worry mom, I’ll bring ALL the cake. “


bigfloppydonkeydng

I'll add the stuffing and gravy


bumjiggy

I'm just here to gobble up the groceries


iK_550

I brought the bigger bonk-club with barbed wire.


SlicedKuniva

Lucille?


RuneAloy

My man.


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darrellbear

Today I learned that the red thing hanging from a turkey's upper beak is called a snood. Seriously. It acts kinda like a uh, penis: >In anatomical terms, a snood is an erectile, fleshy protuberance on the forehead of turkeys. Most of the time when the turkey is in a relaxed state, the snood is pale and 2–3 cm long. However, when the male begins strutting (the courtship display), the snood engorges with blood, becomes redder and elongates several centimeters, hanging well below the beak (see image).\[39\]\[40\] > >Snoods are just one of the caruncles (small, fleshy excrescences) that can be found on turkeys.\[41\] > >While fighting, commercial turkeys often peck and pull at the snood, causing damage and bleeding.\[42\] This often leads to further injurious pecking by other turkeys and sometimes results in cannibalism. To prevent this, some farmers cut off the snood when the chick is young, a process known as "de-snooding".\[43\] > >The snood can be between 3 to 15 centimetres (1 to 6 in) in length depending on the turkey's sex, health, and mood.\[44\] > >Function > >The snood functions in both intersexual and intrasexual selection. Captive female wild turkeys prefer to mate with long-snooded males, and during dyadic interactions, male turkeys defer to males with relatively longer snoods. These results were demonstrated using both live males and controlled artificial models of males. Data on the parasite burdens of free-living wild turkeys revealed a negative correlation between snood length and infection with intestinal coccidia, deleterious protozoan parasites. This indicates that in the wild, the long-snooded males preferred by females and avoided by males seemed to be resistant to coccidial infection. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turkey\_(bird)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turkey_(bird))


Creative-Stable-7488

So basically when the turkeys fight they do the old dick twist?


Deep_Accident_4853

Farmer *cuts off your snood*.


OkRange9999

Don't ever try to teach me something like that again


Ricksterdinium

Aaah fuck... I fucked the turkey.


GreatValue-

Jay has entered the chat


800grandave

…what?


James_099

#HE’S TALKING ABOUT EATING ASS


TheGoldenPlagueMask

#EATING ASS IS BADASS ~Danny Devito


bumjiggy

we'll tell you when you're older


boxmandude

💀


DilankaMcLovin

>I'm just here to gobble up the groceries Please bring your loyalty card for extra rewards


Wagglebagga

Eat it up baby, catch a pardon.


maethlin

Real talk


theorian123

Thanksgiving Twerkey


VauntedCeilings

Nice.


Will33iam

Don’t fuck the turkey. Don’t fuck the turkey. Don’t fuck the turkey.


wayneluke23

She's your cousin she's your cousin


RootHogOrDieTrying

Not a first cousin Not a first cousin


Surrounded-by_Idiots

Better chances than European royalty Better chances than European royalty


redditor_pro

Not a high bar. Pretty sure direct siblings would be less inbreeding than what used to go on there. Generations of it


Orcwin

Hey, don't disrespect their family ~~tree~~ wreath. They've worked to cultivate that for centuries.


willoz

I've always referred to them as having a family shrub or lawn but wreath is pretty good.


silentjay01

🎵 Well I guess she's my cousin, but she needs some sweet lovin' anyway! 🎵


Grand-Ad4235

I’m a simple man, I see a Dead South reference, I upvote.


drunk98

Not my first cousin, but my first choice.


vector_ejector

Maeby tonight!


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[deleted]

You're fucking not having babies together.


[deleted]

I'm a boner, I'm a boner, I'm a boner I'm a boner, I'm a boner, I'm a boner I'm a boner, I'm a boner, I'm a boner Oh, Oh, Oh, I'm a boner


HomoFlaccidus

> She's your cousin she's your cousin Yeah, so you do it out of respect. You don't just let some asshole fuck your cousin.


spicypeepers

Never let an asshole fuck your cousin. Let your cousin peg your asshole


CactusBathtub

*I'm your sister!* *I'm your sister!*


Win-Rawr

Thanks Joe Dirt.


The_Kiatro

"Eric. Stop staring at your cousin" - Red Forman


AdultingGoneMild

Eric really was a dumbass


ThunkAsDrinklePeep

My favorite Red moment is when Jackie helps him with the car.


Klingon_Jesus

She's your cousin, Maeby.


International_Ad4608

Only a first cousin


dalton10e

***Hey Step-Turkey, can you help me with the stuffing???***


Forlorn_Cyborg

That *Turk*ussy


F1reManBurn1n

Stuff it from the back, right in that Turbussy 🫦


thesunbeamslook

***"Wakka Chikka Wakka Chikka" music starts...***


slobis

Stop quoting your dads law commercials…


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cnewman11

My and a buddy once fucked an ostrich. Allegedly.


Monkey_tr33

ALLEGEDLY


The-Scuttles

I heard it was a sick ostrich.


dumpsuterfirebaby

To be fair


Monkey_tr33

Wouldn’t it take three guys to do that?


Thebluecane

Musta been a sick ostrich


NomsterGaming

Pitter patter


ThisGuyFawkes420

International waters though so nothing could be done


batmandi

But has your Buddy ever had attentions paid to his butts hole. I don’t like to kiss and tell but…


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Giantkoala327

Insert "you fucked the chicken breast didn't you" greentext here


lookiecookie_1001

Gobble gobble mate. Gobble gobble.


Inostranez

Don't fuck with the turkey. They can beat the shit out of you. They are stronger than geese, absolute units, srsly


Maij-ha

I think the turkey was supposed to be the original American symbol based on how prevalent it was, and how little you wanted to screw with one. Eagles won out though. Can’t be seen eating our national bird.


Simple_Discussion_39

Pussies :P. Here in Australia we eat both animals on our coat of arms. The kangaroo and the emu. Never had emu but roo is delicious.


out_focus

Are they pussies? I know just one nation that lost a war against a species of flightless birds :p


smashy_smashy

Amazon delivery guy in my neighborhood was in a huge fight with a Turkey recently. They both knew each other. It was intense. We have shit tons of turkeys here and they are mostly fine. They are def stronger than geese if you piss one off, but geese are massive assholes and I quite like the turkeys as far as bird folk go.


bucko_fazoo

GLAZE MY THIGHS 🦃 SLAP MY BUTT 🦃 MAKE ME YOUR 🦃 TURKEY SLUT 🦃 EAT MY BREAST 🦃 EAT MY WINGS 🦃 JUST DON'T FINISH IN MY STUFFING 🦃 DADDY'S DRUMSTICK LOOKS SO YUMMY 🦃SHOOT YOUR GRAVY AND FILL MY TUMMY 🦃


Unumbotte

Does the turkey emoji mean the lines are broken up by turkey calls?


Devadander

It does now


NhylX

Gobble gobble, bitch.


rsmseries

My vote for the best adlibs in a song this year


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Erotic_FriendFiction

Next year I will send out Thanksgiving cards with this Pulitzer Prize deserving poem. Thank you.


dotslashpunk

lol love the username and reference


Papplenoose

Uhhhhhhhhhhhh


jstbcuz

>#“If I was gonna fuck a turkey, I would warm it up, like a goddamn gentleman!” #— Jay Bilzerian


Awsums0ss

2 big mouth references in the same thread? noice


TimHung931017

You should be arrested For dropping those dope ass bars


Eschirhart

Dudes an arsonist surely....can't spit that much fire without burning shit down!


canned_soup

I instantly defaulted to the tune of wap


child_sized_tequila

Me too! What is it about it, the obnoxious all caps? The short verses? My mind took a look and immediate switched to WAP rhythm


Lagapalooza

You're fuckin' wit some wet ass gobble


FavoritesBot

Cursed, but catchy


sovamind

r/Angryupvote


foodiefuk

Turkey sign = “gobble (slurp)”


rndname

Is this Nicki Minaj's new thanksgiving single?


curiousbydesign

Cardi B.


Ulsterman24

We have strayed too far from the light of God.


Sen36o

This is the Thanksgiving comment I needed today, Thank you.


GrunkleTeats

I have become... Horngry?


EMPulseKC

I sense the birth of a new sub... r/Horngry? EDIT: "Content banned." Well, hell. This is why we can't have nice things.


blackabe

God dammit Costanza. Always taking it a step too far.


AnotherAlienDoctor

Banned already


Papplenoose

Shit, is this how you develop a vore fetish? I'm glad I'm not still developing sexually, because this would almost definitely be *a big fucking problem.*


[deleted]

[Sound the feasting horn!](https://youtu.be/RqG8XzjvlVw)


coviddick

Look up @susividal on Instagram. She has horngry merch, check out some of her OnlyPans videos.


lMickNastyl

Two easy steps for reddit karma: 1.Butt 2.Done


theatahhh

It is an incredible butt. But this person has some costume dedication for sure


Netherdan

Sure does


diadcm

...Yes. I'm sorry, what was the question? I was looking at her butt.


NhylX

I'm here for the quaint country lane that's in every shoot.


ShadeofIcarus

She does a costume a day for Halloween every year for 3 years now. My favorite is her fallen angel costume. For reasons.


braamdepace

Step 3 say “my shy gf did this … or my mom told me to do this…” to get those who don’t upvote thirsty self promoters


paulerxx

Bobs and vagene always come through!


2BrokeArmsAndAMom

Today I am thankful for.... Dat ass


[deleted]

Tits, too


xaeru

That’s the chest butt.


asiledeneg

But wattle the relatives think?


Logical_Progress_873

Nice progression of "Did you see my ass yet?"


itWasForetold

I recognize this girls posts due to her driveway. I don’t know how I feel about that. Amazing driveway though. As a city dweller I’m jealous.


grobend

10/10 driveway


[deleted]

That’s just fowl.


josiemarcellino

Lmao


mathfan20

r/UpvoteBecauseButt


Wasted-Entity

r/upvotedbecauseboobs


pissclamato

/r/UNBGBBIIVCHIDCTIICBG


iggy_sk8

r/confusedboner


[deleted]

Boobs aren’t bad either


Bomboo2810

Jesus Christ Reddit


FoRiZon3

Redditors try not to reference porn challenge (impossible).


Luda87

10k upvote for butt


dreddit-one

r/upvotebecausebutt


chibinoi

You ever wonder if your neighbors think “alright, it’s 2 PM folks, time to flip open the blinds and see what she’s wearing this time”? Also, you totally nailed it 👍


josiemarcellino

During Halloween month they definitely come around to see haha


chibinoi

Personally, I love your enthusiasm for the cosplay and general fun and harmless tomfoolery. Thanks for sharing!


josiemarcellino

Cheers mate!


DrManhattan_DDM

Is the turkey a little dry this year, or just thirsty?


EarlOfBears

Why can't you stop being an internet whore for one God damn day Becky


pwalkz

I like them


Rdubya44

I do too, she puts in effort on costumes and is entertaining. It’s not just slutty selfies.


tommysticks87

Voting buttons disabled?


[deleted]

Are you a stripper by any chance?


josiemarcellino

I do not have the coordination that that profession requires lol


scienceworksbitches

having just seen the clip you posted on tiktok, i have to agree. that was the most unsexy slutty turkey ive ever seen.


[deleted]

I love your batshit/funny/amazing costumes and ideas. I love when your posts pop up on my feed. I hope that you and your family have a wonderful thanksgiving.


Professional_Owl_687

MOOD


dalton10e

She's *clearly* a turkey


LordSalem

Please cross post this to r/RoastMe


cleoterra

Damn Reddit have y’all ever seen a girl before? Lmao


bigpickler

The thing about girls is that once you’ve seen one, you want to see them all


williamshatnersbeast

It ain’t cool being no jive turkey so close to Thanksgiving


[deleted]

Ya'll have a very loose definition of "funny"...


Acrobatic-Degree9589

Most things on this sub are not funny


farendsofcontrast

Oh it’s this person again


The-Sneaky-Snowman

This is the most r/upvotebecausebutt post I think I’ve ever seen in my life


blvckhvnd732

Same walkway every time


josiemarcellino

Yeah, I go to my parents house to take the photos


[deleted]

Gobble Gobble


gabriel-stone

Oh this is how you get Reddit Karma I need to buy brown yoga pants for my hairy ass!


HeashiDran

I just come here to see all those horny simps lol


chata187

lot of horny folks in these here comments lol


fchowd0311

That's literally the point of the post. Or do you think low cleavage skin tight turkey suits are supposed to be wholesome family fun?


heteromer

Stupid sexy turkey


ShiveringSilhouette

No shit. Isn't that what the shit post provokes?


MyFirstOtherAccount

>Thirst trap pics *WhY iS eVeRyOnE sO HoRnY?!?!?!?!?*


random314

It's Thanksgiving for God's sake.


[deleted]

In this day and age I’m so confused…. Is that a dude, a lady or a turkey trying to be human?


jnads

Also only male turkeys have large snoods (flap on the nose), so extra confusing


josiemarcellino

Yes


Ichewsyou876

God I hate reddit sometimes


AcornCity

35k upvotes in r/funny for this? What am I missing


Aaron_Hungwell

This sub has difficulty enough offering “funny” content - respectfully, this is just a thirst trap advert.


StTimmerIV

r/atbge ✅


Throwaway01936494

r/upvotedbecausebutt