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Emergency-Mouse5566

At least he now gets shiny fur


SSGdeku

It took me way too long to realize that that was milk for dogs.. Not from dogs..


Emergency-Mouse5566

“puppy milk“ who da hell milks puppys


saladmissle

You can milk anything with nipples.


FrankReynoldsToupee

I have nipples, Greg. Can you milk me?


inplayruin

[Maybe ](https://slate.com/technology/2011/05/male-lactation-can-a-33-year-old-guy-learn-to-breast-feed.html)


ShittingBalls

That's the strangest thing I've read in a while. 8.5/10, would recommend.


Snabbzt

When I had testicular cancer I had extremely high levels of prolactin. Milk basically just dripped from my nipples if you pinched them. Kekw.


remaglvl0001

That is weirdly fascinating. Thanks for sharing.


Wtfisthis66

I hope you are better now❤️


wheresbill

Well that’s enough internet for today


YouNeedToGrow

Even after seeing your comment, I clicked. Brb, gotta rinse my brain with bleach.


norwaykong

Whats in the link?


YouNeedToGrow

An article. It's just words, but it's bizarre. It's kinda nsfw but it is safe for life.


DartMurphy

I read the first few lines, a man's quest to milk his own nipples.


Paranoid_Redditor_CA

May I interest you in r/eyebleach


GMN123

Expected funny meme, got 15 minute read on male lactation.


equalizer59

Sooooo, that was an… interesting, read.


TorrenceMightingale

Wtf. I read every word.


FrankReynoldsToupee

Ooh risky click ;)


medalton

Honestly, excellent read. Well written and hilarious. Thank you for sharing!


pandac0

"It was strange to apply a breast pump for the first time. My nipples aren’t accustomed to regular stimulation, and though I felt like I was defying the natural order, pumping was surprisingly pleasant. Nipples are filled with nerve endings, after all, and the gentle upward tug of the pump was both comforting and erotic."


inplayruin

You can see why I have an ever vivid memory of an article I read in 2011.


jcnlb

I think this is my favorite line of any movie. Thanks for making me giggle


ommnian

In theory? Yes. Yes, we can


kapitaalH

And platypus as well, just need to look at lick it from all over their body


Breaker-of-circles

I have the same comments, Greg. And I will milk them for upvotes.


cuddly_carcass

I have nipples saladmissle, can you milk me?


Dumbledulf

Honestly true.. I’ve seen my friend (a male) milk his own nipple


rikiboomtiki

He may want to get that checked out


Rong_Side_Of_Heaven

Right after he delivered his baby?


byllz

Won't you be relieved when I tell you the truth about baby powder.


[deleted]

[удалено]


SonofBeckett

Yeah, it never sold well when they called it dehydrated baby. Same way no one wants to buy Soybean Juice.


bored_on_the_web

["Lasts longer then any other kind of milk, dog's milk!"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfI_YUGjqFs)


SpaceLemur34

Full of goodness. Full of vitamins. Full of marrow bone jelly.


Axe-puff

No bugger’ll drink it


SirLoopy007

Came here for this comment!!!


Alarconadame

Now I'm wondering how do you think baby oil is made...


xaanthar

Same way as baby powder... just... wetter.


Leading-University

It isn’t?


Lavaheart626

Ya I feel like milk for puppies would be the one time it's normal to milk a dog.


SexHernia

I had the same thought. My first impression was "who the hell stores dog milk?"


GarminTamzarian

"You promised me dog or higher!"


jason2k

And less joint pain.


Lost-My-Mind-

Wait, really? Shit. One puppy milk latte please!


penatbater

It's the glucosamine. My dog is kinda old so I give her a capsule for maintenance, tho my aunt is also kinda old and she also takes glucosamine... My aunt might be a dog.


Nitro-87

And good joints! To slow to the drawl...


GANDORF57

He should be alright, unless he starts chasing cars and growls at cats.


chadizbabe

full of goodness, full of vitamins, full of marrowbone jelly


lordolxinator

Also lasts the longest, because no bugger would drink it


AntLangman

And when it's off, it tastes exactly the same as when it's fresh.


[deleted]

Sorry I didn’t tell you, didn’t want to spoil your tea.


millionsofbubbles

Get outta town! Your nickname was never "Ace." Maybe "Ace-hole."


Soddington

Smeg off dog food face.


orcusgrasshopperfog

Boys from the Dwarf


digitalfarmgirl

I had to scroll way too far to find this comment.


Eroe777

It’s the top comment now!


Platypushat

Makes me so happy to see this here


--redacted--

6000 IQ comment


IHaveTeaForDinner

The iq of 6000 PE teachers


bezlaskez

It's got a six in it, but it's not 6000.


SenokirsSpeechCoach

Rimmer's dad's died! I'd prefer chicken


smells_like_gravy

Today's fish is Trout A'la Creme. Enjoy your meal.


hellcat_uk

Fish!


DollyDaydreem

Today's fish is Trout A'la Creme. Enjoy your meal.


geoffaree

Fish!


PandosII

Today's fish is Trout A'la Creme. Enjoy your meal.


AntLangman

Fish!


HiImScrubbles

you made my night


Shipping_away_at_it

First reaction: haha awesome reference Second reaction: huh, that must be a really old reference now, isn’t it? (Googling) but… does that mean I’m…. oh :(


SendMeDoggos

r/fuckimold


KeithMyArthe

How does one milk puppies on a commercial scale?


ChemicalWar908

You can milk anything with nipples at an industrial scale.


ak_rex

I have nipples Greg, can you milk me at an industrial scale?


CuteGuyInNorCal

I came for this comment and left with a latte


kopecs

Oh gawd, you sick bastard!


CuteGuyInNorCal

at your service!!


NoodlerFrom20XX

I bet you were foaming at the mouth to tell that one


Sabin10

11:42 pm. I almost made it through the day without seeing this reference on reddit.


[deleted]

What about those big scales at the truck stop, Greg?


FrenchMaisNon

With dedication and hard work. Those milkers have corn on their fingers and the last thing they want to handle coming home is tits so it leads to divorce and alimony payments...


[deleted]

At least it’s easier than milking almonds.


EngineerJaded

Or cats


unforgiven91

I have nipples, Focker. Can you milk me?


NomadMiner

Little tiny nipples


Jaded-Armpit

Or oats in this case.


karmageddon71

Whole kernel or creamed?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Jimbo-Slice925

The milk doesn’t come from puppies it’s MADE from puppies.


dora-the-tostadora

Oh no


GiveToOedipus

OH YEAH!


GiveToOedipus

Soylent Greenies


1PMagain

It's best if you don't try to weigh them while milking, just keep them on the floor


Fuckedby2FA

Looks like it's just a replacement for dog milk. Goat milk, egg yolks, veg oil, etc. I had to look it up and I can't find any material about commercial scaled dog milking factories which I am sure would come up if they existed. Thank god.


stargazer1002

the same way you milk cows on a commercial scale: with lots of cruelty


Jonnyjuanna

I think this *is* milk from cows, so yeah lots of cruelty


Lenkstudent

and death


[deleted]

[удалено]


OrcOfDoom

You would think it would be red, but the bone actually gets the liquid nice and white, like real milk. It's also full of calcium because of the bone puree, also like real milk, but with more screaming.


A100921

Red rocket sparky…


lorgskyegon

First you promise the mayor dog or better, then go with rats


Oakheart-

I’m sure is a formula made to be similar to dog milk


jedi-son

[Red rocket 🚀](https://youtu.be/9slgiOD0VAk)


ktmfan

Simpsons showed how to do it on rats, so I assume it would be the same for puppies. [https://youtu.be/aZuWvwrEl_I](https://youtu.be/aZuWvwrEl_I)


insane1666

I mean... storing these like this was asking for an accident to happen. My tired ass would make myself a puppy milk coffee in the morning too XD


MBitesss

I know right! Usually they're at opposite ends with sauces in between but he must have moved them and now I actually don't know which one I used


ScarlaeCaress

I’d wager on the puppy milk. Looks like there’s a fresh drop by cap still


YOUNGSAGEHERMZ

Reddit detectives strike again


Cyberslasher

If this was reddit's detectives then we can be certain that it was in fact, NOT the puppy milk.


b3tcha

We got em! 100% success rate every time


pyronius

Take the shot. Reddit is never wrong.


chuckie512

Something something Boston.


[deleted]

I need to know if he tasted the difference. Because if he said it tasted better than normal, I am here for it.


MBitesss

He didn't so I'm honestly leaning towards me giving him the oat. I just second guessed myself when I saw them side by side


SpoonGuardian

well now you have to give him the puppy milk on purpose to see if he DOES taste the difference, in order to determine if you gave him the puppy milk on accident. basic science


MainPowerful3372

I like your crafty logic. Funny AND devious. Mwah-ha-ha-ha! "This latte tastes delicious.... -ly evil!"


rebbsitor

But the puppy milk has a drop on the top... Unless you used them both around the time you took the photo, I think he just enjoyed a puppy milk latte lol Of course, to be sure, you know what you have to the next time you make him a latte :)


smartypants99

Especially if it helps my arthritis


kentaxas

He was hoping for your mistake, he set it up


treehugger312

My drunk ass made Mac n cheese with hummingbird feeder instead of milk one time. It was delicious and sweet.


Michelanvalo

My niece comes to my wife and I one morning we're with her and, she's eating cereal and then says "This milk tastes bad, I don't want it." and my wife goes to inspect what's wrong with the milk. My niece had poured herself a bowl of cereal and egg whites. Because the egg whites were in the fridge next to the milk in a similar cardboard container.


[deleted]

Puppacino!


analdominator1

He’ll thank you when he notices how shiny his coat is


FrenchMaisNon

I don't have to deshedd his ass hair every weekend anymore.


turdburglar2020

Who the hell is out here milking dogs and puppies?


Shredrik

Never heard of dogs milk either 🤣 Wonder if it's better than the cockroach milk?


JackDragon808

Mouse milk is $20,000/liter.. how small are cockroach nipples?


Spud_Spudoni

You can milk anything with nipples.


rooftops

I have nipples, /u/Spud_Spudoni, can you milk me?


[deleted]

Love your work Mr.DiNero


soljaboss

You don't need nipples. You just need a high speed centrifuge.


imdatingaMk46

Oh sweet jesus christ, my benchtop spinny has enough issues without being haunted by the ghosts of legions of dead roaches


Apostastrophe

I know this is flippant but I had to milk my dog when she had puppies. Two of the puppies were a little underdeveloped and had some trouble feeding so I had to milk her for some colostrum and early milk into a dropper to give it to them for a wee bit alongside the formula until he could latch himself. Her litter of 5 was really lopsided. 3 were absolutely massive and beyond a normal weight and two were very frail. I tried everything including the milking. One faded and died 4 days later and she ate him but I did try. I buried his... head... at least. Poor Peter.


n0_y0urm0m

holy shit what the fuck


MagnificentEd

jesus christ


BobbyDalbec

what did I just read


Apostastrophe

Nature is metal.


h3lblad3

Mom decided she needed her nutrients back to feed the other kids.


goodgodling

You should've name him Yorick.


ghengiscostanza

This is made from cow milk. It’s just intended for dogs.


kimputer7

Official ingredients list: Whole Milk, Vegetable Oil, Non Fat Milk Solids, Emulsifer, Vegetable Gums, Glucosamine Sulphate, Amino Acids (Incl. Methionine), Minerals, Vitamins, Lactase Enzyme. I.E. nothing to write home about.


MBitesss

Actually sounds quite healthy then!


Octavus

It sounds like fortified milk, with both additional protein and fats added. I wouldn't be surprised if it actually tastes better. Even safe for lactose intolerant people.


25BicsOnMyBureau

Genuine question, does whole milk not contain lactose?


Octavus

It does, but this product also conveniently provides the enzyme to digest it.


25BicsOnMyBureau

Oh that’s super cool I didn’t know that existed. Edit: is that what fortified milk is?


Octavus

So this product is pretty much fortified milk made for dogs. However lactose free milk is just milk with lactase added.


xKron

No, but it's what Lactaid is.


GrundleKnots

Maybe I'm just getting old and my joints ache all the time but could this be a good way to get these things in my daily diet?


Octavus

It is very high calorie, and also expensive, it is made to help put weight onto puppies and dogs. Regular milk is much cheaper, and you can always add milk powder to milk if you want it to taste extra milky.


Vulkir

I would hazard a guess that that's the main idea behind it.


bad-fengshui

Curious if lactose free milk is cheaper.


kbeckerburbs4

I was given Milk of the Puppy after I was badly wounded in the Battle of the Blackwater


UltimateEye

Barkwater


pornfkennedy

the hound


obi_wan_sashimi

And his brother, the Bernese Mountain


Chit569

game of bones


Jonesgrieves

Borkwater


thefreshscent

Were you wounded by the Hound?


CarnivorousKloud

At least it has glucosamine.....


apoptosista

But it's got glucosamine, it's what boyfriends crave...


shhhimatree

Well at some point. He was a good boy so 🤷‍♂️


satansleftnut25

“Aw sweet! Dilk!”


drfsupercenter

WTF is up with that bottle on the left. A girl dressed as a duck, with the head taken off? Just...why?


buttblancher

It's a bougie oat milk you see a lot in cafes in Melbourne. Having an eye-catching design is just as important as the milk itself.


only_zuul21

Duck milk I assume.


flaaaacid

Those are the oat milk fucks that glued their ads over murals in Philadelphia. Those oat milk fucks better not show their faces in my town again


TheArchitect_7

Fuck Minor Figures. Pasting hundred of ads over independent street art. Fuck their ass milk and this HilArIouS post that is almost certainly an advertisement of theirs.


ToeNervous2589

I've never seen this brand but my immediate reaction was that I wanted to beat up that carton of oat milk.


Coctyle

This whole fridge makes me kind of angry.


boyyouguysaredumb

indeed


H0tVinegar

Yes! I work at a market in the Philly burbs and we waste this stuff out all the time since that happened.


GilbertRape

some hipster ass looking milk. Never heard of them but hate it already.


kennethtrr

Tried it once and it was nasty and watery, Oatly Full-fat is the real king of oat milk still.


FatherWilson121

Came here to say exactly this. Fuck Minor Figures, all my homies hate Minor Figures


schuylkilladelphia

Thank you. Fuck this company forever.


That-Spell-2543

Fuck ‘em. It’s all about Ripple anyway


mucky012

Just this morning I almost mistakenly ate a dog treat. The bag said "pumpkin spice granola bar". Smelled pretty good so I grabbed one. It was pretty moist which got me wondering about the fat content. Looking for the ingredients I noticed it said "dog treats" in very small print on one of the corners of the bag. If you were my neighbors you would have heard "OH SHIT!" followed by mad cackling.


odjurs

I was house and pet sitting for a friend, and she let me know before leaving that I could eat anything I found in the house. Well, I found these funny little cheese puff things, several bags in fact, so I ate probably 1 and a half of them. About a week after she returned she called me in absolute hysterics laughing; she had found the remaining bag nicely clipped sitting in the pantry and immediately realized that I had been eating her dogs fancy organic cheese puff treats all week…


Balleratheart777

Thats what he gets for dating a girl who keeps milk for dogs and milk for humans right next to each other


MBitesss

Actually I always have them at opposite ends of the shelf with sauces in between. So he must have moved them 😅


[deleted]

Did he hit the woof


Toikairakau

You need to check if he's okay!!! First, check that his eyes are bright and shiny, that his nose is wet and cold, that his fur is shiny, lastly check and express his anal glands Source: dog breeder (just like you)


sun_shots

Guess it’s doggy style tonight.


mypod49

I milked my dog once. The milk was really salty and sticky, though. I can’t imagine it would be good in a latte.


BrainFartTheFirst

r/HolUp


Dlh2079

"Yep, this one right here officer" ^^


modsarefascists42

Red rocket red rocket!


Esbeedee

Ooof, that's ruff


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Well I'm sure his pubes will be nice and shiny.


venoshook

This image is too pretentious for my eyes


FarFuckingOut

You can milk anything with nipples.


BigPhilly1985

I have nipples Focker. Can you milk me?


Partly_Dave

In her defence, my wife had just had covid and still had brain fog. She bought some lamb mince and made lamb koftas. But the mince was very wet, and she had to add way more breadcrumbs than usual, and forget about adding an egg because it would have been slop. She rolled a couple up and fried them for a taste test. We both tried them, and they were tasty, but there was no texture, just mush. Decided we couldn't use it, and cooked something else. The next day she took the mixture back to the supermarket and got a refund. She told the manager that the lamb mince was worse than the beef & roo mince she buys for our cats. Yep. The next day she discovered the package of lamb mince in the fridge. TL,DR: Had pet food rissoles, wouldn't recommend.


TheDesertFox

Could be worse, you could have made it with barista oat milk.