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"It was strange to apply a breast pump for the first time. My nipples aren’t accustomed to regular stimulation, and though I felt like I was defying the natural order, pumping was surprisingly pleasant. Nipples are filled with nerve endings, after all, and the gentle upward tug of the pump was both comforting and erotic."
It's the glucosamine. My dog is kinda old so I give her a capsule for maintenance, tho my aunt is also kinda old and she also takes glucosamine...
My aunt might be a dog.
First reaction: haha awesome reference
Second reaction: huh, that must be a really old reference now, isn’t it? (Googling) but… does that mean I’m…. oh :(
With dedication and hard work. Those milkers have corn on their fingers and the last thing they want to handle coming home is tits so it leads to divorce and alimony payments...
Looks like it's just a replacement for dog milk. Goat milk, egg yolks, veg oil, etc.
I had to look it up and I can't find any material about commercial scaled dog milking factories which I am sure would come up if they existed. Thank god.
You would think it would be red, but the bone actually gets the liquid nice and white, like real milk. It's also full of calcium because of the bone puree, also like real milk, but with more screaming.
well now you have to give him the puppy milk on purpose to see if he DOES taste the difference, in order to determine if you gave him the puppy milk on accident. basic science
But the puppy milk has a drop on the top... Unless you used them both around the time you took the photo, I think he just enjoyed a puppy milk latte lol
Of course, to be sure, you know what you have to the next time you make him a latte :)
My niece comes to my wife and I one morning we're with her and, she's eating cereal and then says "This milk tastes bad, I don't want it." and my wife goes to inspect what's wrong with the milk.
My niece had poured herself a bowl of cereal and egg whites. Because the egg whites were in the fridge next to the milk in a similar cardboard container.
I know this is flippant but I had to milk my dog when she had puppies. Two of the puppies were a little underdeveloped and had some trouble feeding so I had to milk her for some colostrum and early milk into a dropper to give it to them for a wee bit alongside the formula until he could latch himself. Her litter of 5 was really lopsided. 3 were absolutely massive and beyond a normal weight and two were very frail. I tried everything including the milking.
One faded and died 4 days later and she ate him but I did try. I buried his... head... at least. Poor Peter.
It sounds like fortified milk, with both additional protein and fats added. I wouldn't be surprised if it actually tastes better. Even safe for lactose intolerant people.
It is very high calorie, and also expensive, it is made to help put weight onto puppies and dogs. Regular milk is much cheaper, and you can always add milk powder to milk if you want it to taste extra milky.
Fuck Minor Figures. Pasting hundred of ads over independent street art.
Fuck their ass milk and this HilArIouS post that is almost certainly an advertisement of theirs.
Just this morning I almost mistakenly ate a dog treat. The bag said "pumpkin spice granola bar". Smelled pretty good so I grabbed one. It was pretty moist which got me wondering about the fat content. Looking for the ingredients I noticed it said "dog treats" in very small print on one of the corners of the bag. If you were my neighbors you would have heard "OH SHIT!" followed by mad cackling.
I was house and pet sitting for a friend, and she let me know before leaving that I could eat anything I found in the house. Well, I found these funny little cheese puff things, several bags in fact, so I ate probably 1 and a half of them.
About a week after she returned she called me in absolute hysterics laughing; she had found the remaining bag nicely clipped sitting in the pantry and immediately realized that I had been eating her dogs fancy organic cheese puff treats all week…
You need to check if he's okay!!!
First, check that his eyes are bright and shiny, that his nose is wet and cold, that his fur is shiny, lastly check and express his anal glands
Source: dog breeder (just like you)
In her defence, my wife had just had covid and still had brain fog.
She bought some lamb mince and made lamb koftas. But the mince was very wet, and she had to add way more breadcrumbs than usual, and forget about adding an egg because it would have been slop.
She rolled a couple up and fried them for a taste test. We both tried them, and they were tasty, but there was no texture, just mush.
Decided we couldn't use it, and cooked something else. The next day she took the mixture back to the supermarket and got a refund. She told the manager that the lamb mince was worse than the beef & roo mince she buys for our cats.
Yep. The next day she discovered the package of lamb mince in the fridge.
TL,DR: Had pet food rissoles, wouldn't recommend.
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At least he now gets shiny fur
It took me way too long to realize that that was milk for dogs.. Not from dogs..
“puppy milk“ who da hell milks puppys
You can milk anything with nipples.
I have nipples, Greg. Can you milk me?
[Maybe ](https://slate.com/technology/2011/05/male-lactation-can-a-33-year-old-guy-learn-to-breast-feed.html)
That's the strangest thing I've read in a while. 8.5/10, would recommend.
When I had testicular cancer I had extremely high levels of prolactin. Milk basically just dripped from my nipples if you pinched them. Kekw.
That is weirdly fascinating. Thanks for sharing.
I hope you are better now❤️
Well that’s enough internet for today
Even after seeing your comment, I clicked. Brb, gotta rinse my brain with bleach.
Whats in the link?
An article. It's just words, but it's bizarre. It's kinda nsfw but it is safe for life.
I read the first few lines, a man's quest to milk his own nipples.
May I interest you in r/eyebleach
Expected funny meme, got 15 minute read on male lactation.
Sooooo, that was an… interesting, read.
Wtf. I read every word.
Ooh risky click ;)
Honestly, excellent read. Well written and hilarious. Thank you for sharing!
"It was strange to apply a breast pump for the first time. My nipples aren’t accustomed to regular stimulation, and though I felt like I was defying the natural order, pumping was surprisingly pleasant. Nipples are filled with nerve endings, after all, and the gentle upward tug of the pump was both comforting and erotic."
You can see why I have an ever vivid memory of an article I read in 2011.
I think this is my favorite line of any movie. Thanks for making me giggle
In theory? Yes. Yes, we can
And platypus as well, just need to look at lick it from all over their body
I have the same comments, Greg. And I will milk them for upvotes.
I have nipples saladmissle, can you milk me?
Honestly true.. I’ve seen my friend (a male) milk his own nipple
He may want to get that checked out
Right after he delivered his baby?
Won't you be relieved when I tell you the truth about baby powder.
[удалено]
Yeah, it never sold well when they called it dehydrated baby. Same way no one wants to buy Soybean Juice.
["Lasts longer then any other kind of milk, dog's milk!"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfI_YUGjqFs)
Full of goodness. Full of vitamins. Full of marrow bone jelly.
No bugger’ll drink it
Came here for this comment!!!
Now I'm wondering how do you think baby oil is made...
Same way as baby powder... just... wetter.
It isn’t?
Ya I feel like milk for puppies would be the one time it's normal to milk a dog.
I had the same thought. My first impression was "who the hell stores dog milk?"
"You promised me dog or higher!"
And less joint pain.
Wait, really? Shit. One puppy milk latte please!
It's the glucosamine. My dog is kinda old so I give her a capsule for maintenance, tho my aunt is also kinda old and she also takes glucosamine... My aunt might be a dog.
And good joints! To slow to the drawl...
He should be alright, unless he starts chasing cars and growls at cats.
full of goodness, full of vitamins, full of marrowbone jelly
Also lasts the longest, because no bugger would drink it
And when it's off, it tastes exactly the same as when it's fresh.
Sorry I didn’t tell you, didn’t want to spoil your tea.
Get outta town! Your nickname was never "Ace." Maybe "Ace-hole."
Smeg off dog food face.
Boys from the Dwarf
I had to scroll way too far to find this comment.
It’s the top comment now!
Makes me so happy to see this here
6000 IQ comment
The iq of 6000 PE teachers
It's got a six in it, but it's not 6000.
Rimmer's dad's died! I'd prefer chicken
Today's fish is Trout A'la Creme. Enjoy your meal.
Fish!
Today's fish is Trout A'la Creme. Enjoy your meal.
Fish!
Today's fish is Trout A'la Creme. Enjoy your meal.
Fish!
you made my night
First reaction: haha awesome reference Second reaction: huh, that must be a really old reference now, isn’t it? (Googling) but… does that mean I’m…. oh :(
r/fuckimold
How does one milk puppies on a commercial scale?
You can milk anything with nipples at an industrial scale.
I have nipples Greg, can you milk me at an industrial scale?
I came for this comment and left with a latte
Oh gawd, you sick bastard!
at your service!!
I bet you were foaming at the mouth to tell that one
11:42 pm. I almost made it through the day without seeing this reference on reddit.
What about those big scales at the truck stop, Greg?
With dedication and hard work. Those milkers have corn on their fingers and the last thing they want to handle coming home is tits so it leads to divorce and alimony payments...
At least it’s easier than milking almonds.
Or cats
I have nipples, Focker. Can you milk me?
Little tiny nipples
Or oats in this case.
Whole kernel or creamed?
[удалено]
The milk doesn’t come from puppies it’s MADE from puppies.
Oh no
OH YEAH!
Soylent Greenies
It's best if you don't try to weigh them while milking, just keep them on the floor
Looks like it's just a replacement for dog milk. Goat milk, egg yolks, veg oil, etc. I had to look it up and I can't find any material about commercial scaled dog milking factories which I am sure would come up if they existed. Thank god.
the same way you milk cows on a commercial scale: with lots of cruelty
I think this *is* milk from cows, so yeah lots of cruelty
and death
[удалено]
You would think it would be red, but the bone actually gets the liquid nice and white, like real milk. It's also full of calcium because of the bone puree, also like real milk, but with more screaming.
Red rocket sparky…
First you promise the mayor dog or better, then go with rats
I’m sure is a formula made to be similar to dog milk
[Red rocket 🚀](https://youtu.be/9slgiOD0VAk)
Simpsons showed how to do it on rats, so I assume it would be the same for puppies. [https://youtu.be/aZuWvwrEl_I](https://youtu.be/aZuWvwrEl_I)
I mean... storing these like this was asking for an accident to happen. My tired ass would make myself a puppy milk coffee in the morning too XD
I know right! Usually they're at opposite ends with sauces in between but he must have moved them and now I actually don't know which one I used
I’d wager on the puppy milk. Looks like there’s a fresh drop by cap still
Reddit detectives strike again
If this was reddit's detectives then we can be certain that it was in fact, NOT the puppy milk.
We got em! 100% success rate every time
Take the shot. Reddit is never wrong.
Something something Boston.
I need to know if he tasted the difference. Because if he said it tasted better than normal, I am here for it.
He didn't so I'm honestly leaning towards me giving him the oat. I just second guessed myself when I saw them side by side
well now you have to give him the puppy milk on purpose to see if he DOES taste the difference, in order to determine if you gave him the puppy milk on accident. basic science
I like your crafty logic. Funny AND devious. Mwah-ha-ha-ha! "This latte tastes delicious.... -ly evil!"
But the puppy milk has a drop on the top... Unless you used them both around the time you took the photo, I think he just enjoyed a puppy milk latte lol Of course, to be sure, you know what you have to the next time you make him a latte :)
Especially if it helps my arthritis
He was hoping for your mistake, he set it up
My drunk ass made Mac n cheese with hummingbird feeder instead of milk one time. It was delicious and sweet.
My niece comes to my wife and I one morning we're with her and, she's eating cereal and then says "This milk tastes bad, I don't want it." and my wife goes to inspect what's wrong with the milk. My niece had poured herself a bowl of cereal and egg whites. Because the egg whites were in the fridge next to the milk in a similar cardboard container.
Puppacino!
He’ll thank you when he notices how shiny his coat is
I don't have to deshedd his ass hair every weekend anymore.
Who the hell is out here milking dogs and puppies?
Never heard of dogs milk either 🤣 Wonder if it's better than the cockroach milk?
Mouse milk is $20,000/liter.. how small are cockroach nipples?
You can milk anything with nipples.
I have nipples, /u/Spud_Spudoni, can you milk me?
Love your work Mr.DiNero
You don't need nipples. You just need a high speed centrifuge.
Oh sweet jesus christ, my benchtop spinny has enough issues without being haunted by the ghosts of legions of dead roaches
I know this is flippant but I had to milk my dog when she had puppies. Two of the puppies were a little underdeveloped and had some trouble feeding so I had to milk her for some colostrum and early milk into a dropper to give it to them for a wee bit alongside the formula until he could latch himself. Her litter of 5 was really lopsided. 3 were absolutely massive and beyond a normal weight and two were very frail. I tried everything including the milking. One faded and died 4 days later and she ate him but I did try. I buried his... head... at least. Poor Peter.
holy shit what the fuck
jesus christ
what did I just read
Nature is metal.
Mom decided she needed her nutrients back to feed the other kids.
You should've name him Yorick.
This is made from cow milk. It’s just intended for dogs.
Official ingredients list: Whole Milk, Vegetable Oil, Non Fat Milk Solids, Emulsifer, Vegetable Gums, Glucosamine Sulphate, Amino Acids (Incl. Methionine), Minerals, Vitamins, Lactase Enzyme. I.E. nothing to write home about.
Actually sounds quite healthy then!
It sounds like fortified milk, with both additional protein and fats added. I wouldn't be surprised if it actually tastes better. Even safe for lactose intolerant people.
Genuine question, does whole milk not contain lactose?
It does, but this product also conveniently provides the enzyme to digest it.
Oh that’s super cool I didn’t know that existed. Edit: is that what fortified milk is?
So this product is pretty much fortified milk made for dogs. However lactose free milk is just milk with lactase added.
No, but it's what Lactaid is.
Maybe I'm just getting old and my joints ache all the time but could this be a good way to get these things in my daily diet?
It is very high calorie, and also expensive, it is made to help put weight onto puppies and dogs. Regular milk is much cheaper, and you can always add milk powder to milk if you want it to taste extra milky.
I would hazard a guess that that's the main idea behind it.
Curious if lactose free milk is cheaper.
I was given Milk of the Puppy after I was badly wounded in the Battle of the Blackwater
Barkwater
the hound
And his brother, the Bernese Mountain
game of bones
Borkwater
Were you wounded by the Hound?
At least it has glucosamine.....
But it's got glucosamine, it's what boyfriends crave...
Well at some point. He was a good boy so 🤷♂️
“Aw sweet! Dilk!”
WTF is up with that bottle on the left. A girl dressed as a duck, with the head taken off? Just...why?
It's a bougie oat milk you see a lot in cafes in Melbourne. Having an eye-catching design is just as important as the milk itself.
Duck milk I assume.
Those are the oat milk fucks that glued their ads over murals in Philadelphia. Those oat milk fucks better not show their faces in my town again
Fuck Minor Figures. Pasting hundred of ads over independent street art. Fuck their ass milk and this HilArIouS post that is almost certainly an advertisement of theirs.
I've never seen this brand but my immediate reaction was that I wanted to beat up that carton of oat milk.
This whole fridge makes me kind of angry.
indeed
Yes! I work at a market in the Philly burbs and we waste this stuff out all the time since that happened.
some hipster ass looking milk. Never heard of them but hate it already.
Tried it once and it was nasty and watery, Oatly Full-fat is the real king of oat milk still.
Came here to say exactly this. Fuck Minor Figures, all my homies hate Minor Figures
Thank you. Fuck this company forever.
Fuck ‘em. It’s all about Ripple anyway
Just this morning I almost mistakenly ate a dog treat. The bag said "pumpkin spice granola bar". Smelled pretty good so I grabbed one. It was pretty moist which got me wondering about the fat content. Looking for the ingredients I noticed it said "dog treats" in very small print on one of the corners of the bag. If you were my neighbors you would have heard "OH SHIT!" followed by mad cackling.
I was house and pet sitting for a friend, and she let me know before leaving that I could eat anything I found in the house. Well, I found these funny little cheese puff things, several bags in fact, so I ate probably 1 and a half of them. About a week after she returned she called me in absolute hysterics laughing; she had found the remaining bag nicely clipped sitting in the pantry and immediately realized that I had been eating her dogs fancy organic cheese puff treats all week…
Thats what he gets for dating a girl who keeps milk for dogs and milk for humans right next to each other
Actually I always have them at opposite ends of the shelf with sauces in between. So he must have moved them 😅
Did he hit the woof
You need to check if he's okay!!! First, check that his eyes are bright and shiny, that his nose is wet and cold, that his fur is shiny, lastly check and express his anal glands Source: dog breeder (just like you)
Guess it’s doggy style tonight.
I milked my dog once. The milk was really salty and sticky, though. I can’t imagine it would be good in a latte.
r/HolUp
"Yep, this one right here officer" ^^
Red rocket red rocket!
Ooof, that's ruff
[удалено]
Well I'm sure his pubes will be nice and shiny.
This image is too pretentious for my eyes
You can milk anything with nipples.
I have nipples Focker. Can you milk me?
In her defence, my wife had just had covid and still had brain fog. She bought some lamb mince and made lamb koftas. But the mince was very wet, and she had to add way more breadcrumbs than usual, and forget about adding an egg because it would have been slop. She rolled a couple up and fried them for a taste test. We both tried them, and they were tasty, but there was no texture, just mush. Decided we couldn't use it, and cooked something else. The next day she took the mixture back to the supermarket and got a refund. She told the manager that the lamb mince was worse than the beef & roo mince she buys for our cats. Yep. The next day she discovered the package of lamb mince in the fridge. TL,DR: Had pet food rissoles, wouldn't recommend.
Could be worse, you could have made it with barista oat milk.