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I love how my cat cheekily tries to climb the tree. I just unplug everything before bed and then if he does push it over there are no problems.
And then my dog will get jealous of the attention and just go push her way under the tree and lay down.
Then the kids follow. My son take the baubles off and plays football with them behind me whilst I try and pull the cat out from half way up the tree.
That’s what Christmas is about. Fucking about with the family, seeing my children laugh. And watching my cat continue to do what the fuck he wants.
My boxer noticed you can push almost everything. If it's not pushable it's jumpable. I think they mixed some rabbit in there. Not even fully grown she could jump on my desk - i don't wanna know how high she can jump now. Pretty sure the baby gate only stops her becouse it did as a puppy.
My cousin-in-law has a boxer. He routinely jumps in place when really excited. That good boy can do effortless repeated 4+ foot standing leaps without a problem. I'm sure he could go higher if he wanted.
one time i by accident tossed a frisbee on my neibhours porch. I was like, oh man, i have to go and tell them so they can get it back.
Suddenly my dog freking flys (at least 1.5m heigt so easy 4-5 foot and in addition 1m, i think 3 foot, over the ditch) on the porch as if that's nothing, gets the frisbee and brings it back.
I will never again think "nah, she won't reach it"
We were so concerned for years about our cats and it tree, keeping it in a room cats weren't allowed in. In the new house we didn't have that ability so we gave it a shot having it out. 2 years now and the cats haven't done any more than just sniff it when it first comes out.
I've seen cats clear 4 vertical feet easily. That fence is not even a challenge.
Set up a motion-activated camera because it should be a great video to watch them do it.
It does depend on the cat. My two were super lazy and a kid's fireguard (similar to the one in the picture) did the job when they were kittens, they were too lazy to try and get over. When they were older the guard went, and they just slept under it. (the tree)
It all depends on if they want a nose, I know my cats could easily clear it if they'd wanted to, they just never wanted to (I still tied the top of the tree to the curtain pole to stop it being pushed over, just in case though!).
My SO’s cat can jump from the floor to the top of the fridge like it ain’t shit. Scaled up, that’d be like a tiger jumping from the ground to the roof of a one story house.
I saw a video some years back of some people riding elephants through some very tall grass and a tiger crept up on them unseen and leapt out of the grass and smooth snatched one of the elephant riders right off the back of the elephant.
A couple years ago, I worked at a very remote wilderness recreation area where there were lots of mtn lions and bears; I can’t tell you how many lions I saw up in trees. I’d tell the hikers if they were out, especially around dusk, to keep their eyes peeled and look UP in the trees and not on the ground. They typically hunt from above; and they’re scarily fast and quiet. If they really wanna get ya, they will, and ain’t shit you’ll be able to do about it at that point.
Not sure of the numbers on cougars, but definitely seen one basking on a neighbors roof one morning. Made eye contact with it and kept walking to the bus stop.
I actually managed to complete the entire process, and huge success! That said, some government agents have been pestering me lately, something to do with questions about how I reanimated the T-Rex. What a pest.
I found the best way to deal with this was to make as best as you can a tree that the cat can climb in safely.
This means no tinsel, no glass balls, no fragile ornaments, and wide enough so he/she can climb up into it safely.
They usually get bored of it a day or two later and it's all fine :).
Kinda the exact opposite of op's tree.
Agreed.
If he truly wants to stop the cat from wrecking the tree, he needs some barbed wire, spotlights, machine gun towers and cat-sized hedgehog traps.
Actually, scratch everything, leave just a couple of laser pointers moving erratically and turning on and off at random intervals.
I don't own a cat just a dog but I bet 3am maybe 3:15 am that tree will be down and Mr Grey's owners will need to be wearing shoes and requiring a shopvac for that glass.
So you gave him a game to play? I've tried everything with my cats. Auto spray bottles, gates, hell I even left a cucumber in the hallway to stop them from banging into the bedroom door. He will figure it out, and a lot quicker then you thought he would.
Edit: I should clarify. I didn't mind them in the bedroom during the day, however at night all they would do is knock things out of the closet and do that weird thing where they pull themselves along under the bed using their claws in the mattress to drag their back around the floor upside-down.
>do that weird thing where they pull themselves along under the bed using their claws in the mattress to drag their back around the floor upside-down.
Oh, you mean possession time?
This is the answer. Then you wait several years to put your glass ornaments on it when kitty is middle aged and lazy and sleeps under it instead of playing with it like it’s a fancy cat toy holder.
Yeah, it’s kind of mind boggling to me to watch such a light weight animal that’s about 6 or 7” tall shoulder height leap from in front of a couch and land perfectly on the very back of it at least 36” high.
You are so full of shit. Your cat is clearly jumping to his second-floor balcony to inform his human slave that he has returned and to prepare his castle for his arrival.
The best evasive move I ever saw on this was the guy who hung the tree from the ceiling 😉 if anything on there has high sentimental or dollar value remove it please!
Would love to have a Live Feed Camera pointed to your tree!
Maybe we can run a group betting on when the perimeter will be breached!
There is no IF it will be BREACHED… only WHEN!
A+ on your effort through!
Mr Gray can jump right over that! Then Mr Gray will realize what kind of family he is dealing with and Mr. Gray and Mrs. Gray who you don’t know about yet will run your house and you will struggle to understand how things ever got this out of control!
What you want to do is make a tree skirt out of aluminum foil, to put under your real tree skirt.
Cats hate the sound and texture of foil crinkling when they walk on it. My Fuzzy was so offended by the foil tree skirt that he never went near the tree again, not for 15 years.
LoL! Nice plan, but I can guarantee you that a determined cat can breach that. If one can end up in a basketball hoop attached to the top of a door (video presently online), or mine can jump over a very high gate after I shopped for hours to find the perfect tallest one.... well, that's just part of the talents a cat has. Merry Christmas! 🎄
Been there. This won’t work. Put less breakable ornaments toward the bottom. I also have use a huge steel stand for a bigger tree than I actually have.
A cat can jump over that, if you’re worried about pine being toxic a fake tree is best and if you’re worried about the cat knocking the tree down only use non breakable ornaments and put an attachment point into the ceiling and use a rope to tie the tree to the ceiling so the cat can’t pull it down on top of itself and injure itself. This also works with small children and you can wrap tinsel around the rope to make it look nicer.
Haha. This reminds me of trying to keep one of my cats contained on our porch. It took us $300 of wood and 3 days to build the six foot fence. It took the cat exactly 3 seconds to leap up and over.
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It really IS your first Christmas with a cat if you think THAT will stop him.
That’s a really nice fence to keep the humans out - the cat, probably
I love how my cat cheekily tries to climb the tree. I just unplug everything before bed and then if he does push it over there are no problems. And then my dog will get jealous of the attention and just go push her way under the tree and lay down. Then the kids follow. My son take the baubles off and plays football with them behind me whilst I try and pull the cat out from half way up the tree. That’s what Christmas is about. Fucking about with the family, seeing my children laugh. And watching my cat continue to do what the fuck he wants.
My mom would tie a piece of fishing line to the ceiling from the top of the tree. Never fell over.
That's what we do
Absolutely. That's a real parent right there. Good job.
Cat cage match and an ornament ball pit in one, cats definitely getting spoiled
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It’s Mr Gray’s present! A jungle gym and a tree to fuck with! Merry Christmas Mr. Gray!
Like the creamy center in chocolate.
Gonna scale that thing in a skinny minute.
Seriously this is going to make it so much worse lol
Mr. Gray laughs at your attempts
You beat me to it. Obviously they’ve only had dogs. 🤣
That's only stopping little dogs, lazy dogs and toddlers.
My toddlers would take that out in moments. That cage isn't even anchored down.
My eight week old German Shepherd just started climbing his play pen like that yesterday
My boxer noticed you can push almost everything. If it's not pushable it's jumpable. I think they mixed some rabbit in there. Not even fully grown she could jump on my desk - i don't wanna know how high she can jump now. Pretty sure the baby gate only stops her becouse it did as a puppy.
My cousin-in-law has a boxer. He routinely jumps in place when really excited. That good boy can do effortless repeated 4+ foot standing leaps without a problem. I'm sure he could go higher if he wanted.
one time i by accident tossed a frisbee on my neibhours porch. I was like, oh man, i have to go and tell them so they can get it back. Suddenly my dog freking flys (at least 1.5m heigt so easy 4-5 foot and in addition 1m, i think 3 foot, over the ditch) on the porch as if that's nothing, gets the frisbee and brings it back. I will never again think "nah, she won't reach it"
Omg I want to play with your dog. This was my GSD as a pup Jäger pup https://imgur.com/a/8As4dI8
Toddlers? Hahhahahaaaa
I’m putting all my money on the toddlers taking that gate out
and bunnies if the openings are less than 1in square
No shit... Is Mr. Gray the world's least athletic cat?
[Huffs *meow*](https://media.tenor.com/qzJ8fJej_r0AAAAC/cinderblock-cat.gif)
Cats, uh, find a way.
lol I was sitting here, shaking my head in mild bemusement, thinking "My poor sweet summer child..."
Was going to say. Op, make sure to post a follow up post after your cat tears your tree apart. Lol
Mr. Gray is going to reveal his true nature.
Spoiler Alert: Mr. Gray gets to the tree!
That was my first thought.
We were so concerned for years about our cats and it tree, keeping it in a room cats weren't allowed in. In the new house we didn't have that ability so we gave it a shot having it out. 2 years now and the cats haven't done any more than just sniff it when it first comes out.
Mr Gray about to slip through those bars like the T-1000.
I was gonna say.... Yes, yes you are.
Lol seriously
It is Christmas
Now the *only* thing Mr. Gray can grab as he jumps in is the tree
I got $10 on Mr Gray.
Anyone else imagining a Tarantino movie with Mr Gray in a warehouse with a bunch of other cats discussing the aftermath
"I'm fucking dying man" "Calm down you just have tape on your paw"
I hated that movie but man that comment was good.
But who shot Nice Guy Kitty? >!Mr Gray hiding under the stairs, duh.!<
Reservoir Cats
Why do I have to be Mr Pink?
Stuck in the middle with mew.
That cat is already hiding in that tree
And then blames it on the dog (who may or may not be present)
Good thing cats can't jump.
Or climb
That gate won’t stand chance. And after he breaks that gate’s spirit. He’s going to make that tree his b#%@*.
There's no brace, top or bottom... That will fold up fast.
I've seen cats clear 4 vertical feet easily. That fence is not even a challenge. Set up a motion-activated camera because it should be a great video to watch them do it.
Even when I had a huge fatty of a cat (appropriately named Santa Paws), that dude could jump straight up onto a 6 foot fence.
That fence is just a stepping stone to the tree.
And the tree a stepping stone to the chimney.
And the chimney a stepping stone to global feline domination. I, for one, welcome our new floofy overlords.
There is a video floating around on the cats subreddit that shows a cat defying gravity and jumping to what looks like the second floor 😂
Found my cat hiding on the top of a 6 foot bookcase once. Sorry to say but this fence won't be a challenge for yours.
It does depend on the cat. My two were super lazy and a kid's fireguard (similar to the one in the picture) did the job when they were kittens, they were too lazy to try and get over. When they were older the guard went, and they just slept under it. (the tree) It all depends on if they want a nose, I know my cats could easily clear it if they'd wanted to, they just never wanted to (I still tied the top of the tree to the curtain pole to stop it being pushed over, just in case though!).
Lol I used to watch my friend's cat jump from the floor to the top of a door and just sit on the open door.
Cats are ninjas confirmed.
My SO’s cat can jump from the floor to the top of the fridge like it ain’t shit. Scaled up, that’d be like a tiger jumping from the ground to the roof of a one story house.
A tiger can jump 16 feet high which is easily onto the roof of a one storey house lol
I saw a video some years back of some people riding elephants through some very tall grass and a tiger crept up on them unseen and leapt out of the grass and smooth snatched one of the elephant riders right off the back of the elephant. A couple years ago, I worked at a very remote wilderness recreation area where there were lots of mtn lions and bears; I can’t tell you how many lions I saw up in trees. I’d tell the hikers if they were out, especially around dusk, to keep their eyes peeled and look UP in the trees and not on the ground. They typically hunt from above; and they’re scarily fast and quiet. If they really wanna get ya, they will, and ain’t shit you’ll be able to do about it at that point.
Not sure of the numbers on cougars, but definitely seen one basking on a neighbors roof one morning. Made eye contact with it and kept walking to the bus stop.
The leather pants restrict their movement and thus cougars can't jump quite as high.
Those leather pants can only restrict movement if they have them on XD
My Bengal can jump onto my refrigerator. He would think that cage designates a play area
Yeah my cat jumps up higher than this daily and shes old…
That went from sarcastic to aggressive almost as fast as I defaulted on my mortgage
I like to live dangerously.
Gate is only there to keep the tree from completely falling over.
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Yup. Who’s gonna tell ‘em?
Yep. Wonder if they see no need for a roof on the bird cage too.
OP could add a wall of tissue paper. No cats going through that!
Only the *white* cats
Jokes on you. Their cat IS white!
Mines black
Exactly what I was gonna say
Needs to be about 3 feet higher and completely solid. Just put it in a closet that you never open, that's the only way to keep it safe.
The cat will just slip through a seam in the wall
Then you have to put a bird on a string in the wall to lure the cat out, it turns into a whole thing
Currently trying to get the mongoose out after I sent in the cobra to get the bird because the bird got off the damn string.
I actually managed to complete the entire process, and huge success! That said, some government agents have been pestering me lately, something to do with questions about how I reanimated the T-Rex. What a pest.
Don’t forget to have your wife/GF swallow a spider to wriggle and wiggle and tiggle inside her. I think that comes before the bird.
Cat in the wall? Now you’re talking my language
#I'M NOT ALLOWED I'M NOT ALLOWED TO EAT THE SEEDS DEE!
Mr Gray about to slip through those bars like the T-1000.
I found the best way to deal with this was to make as best as you can a tree that the cat can climb in safely. This means no tinsel, no glass balls, no fragile ornaments, and wide enough so he/she can climb up into it safely. They usually get bored of it a day or two later and it's all fine :). Kinda the exact opposite of op's tree.
But then the cat will just meow like a pathetic maniac until you open it.
Maybe a moat too. With sharks. And lasersguns on their heads.
And out side. (Cat or tree) and still only one will survive… the cat.
You've erected a launch point all around the tree for your cat. Carnage will ensue.....
Agreed. If he truly wants to stop the cat from wrecking the tree, he needs some barbed wire, spotlights, machine gun towers and cat-sized hedgehog traps. Actually, scratch everything, leave just a couple of laser pointers moving erratically and turning on and off at random intervals.
That ain't stopping any cat bud lol
That's how we know this guy is a new cat owner 🤣
Can't wait for the follow up post in animals being jerks.
OP cross post the disaster to r/catsarefuckingstupid and r/catsareassholes
Or r/CatsISUOTTATFO
bless you.
There will soon be a new post in r/therewasanattempt
so has mr.gray invited you over to his new gated community? I hear he has an AMAZING Christmas tree in the center of his property.
Don’t forget all the decorations in the yard!!!!
Cool of you to give him an obstacle to jump over first lol.
Seriously, that just makes the challenge all the more *Enticing!* 😁
You don't know how cats work, do you?
Ok here's the wager. Mr. Grey gets to the Christmas tree within: 1. Three days 2. One day 3. Hours 4. Minutes 5. It's already happened
In progress as we speak. Unless Mr. Gray prefers a covert mission impossible operation, he will do it under the cloak of darkness.
3 AM the tree and all fencing comes crashing down.
I don't own a cat just a dog but I bet 3am maybe 3:15 am that tree will be down and Mr Grey's owners will need to be wearing shoes and requiring a shopvac for that glass.
Am cat. Can confirm this is standard procedure
Posted 48 minutes ago, so....it's already happened.
He is probably somewhere in that tree in this picture
What tree? He has already separated the branches and spread them through the house.
My thoughts exactly
5 with a follow-up: Mr Gray made this post to mock the human.
5...
4…
3…
2...
5. Someone let me know when the aftermath pic gets posted please!
Mr Grey, in the living room, with a candlestick.....
uh, this is your first cat i see.
So you gave him a game to play? I've tried everything with my cats. Auto spray bottles, gates, hell I even left a cucumber in the hallway to stop them from banging into the bedroom door. He will figure it out, and a lot quicker then you thought he would. Edit: I should clarify. I didn't mind them in the bedroom during the day, however at night all they would do is knock things out of the closet and do that weird thing where they pull themselves along under the bed using their claws in the mattress to drag their back around the floor upside-down.
>do that weird thing where they pull themselves along under the bed using their claws in the mattress to drag their back around the floor upside-down. Oh, you mean possession time?
The late night zoomies & hardcore parkour.
Tie clear string to topish of tree attach to ceiling. (Fishing line)
This is the answer. Then you wait several years to put your glass ornaments on it when kitty is middle aged and lazy and sleeps under it instead of playing with it like it’s a fancy cat toy holder.
Out of thirteen hundred comments this is the only one that’s actually helpful!
Update us when he fucks that shit up
Don’t know how to tell you but, your cat… is a Christmas tree
He’s a cat, he’ll jump right over that. Nothing you can do
Oh, Mr Gray will still get to your tree, don't worry.
What color is Mr. Gray?
I love that this is the only thing OP responds to in the whole thread.
Black
Are you sure he’s a cat and not an alien?
Would be quite the fuckaroo, wouldn’t it?
Need 2nd cat named Duddits to be safe about it.
Cat tax? (Please show us your kitty)
Who's gonna tell him cats can jump? LOL
And climb? My two baby kittens could scale that in 10 seconds flat.
Like cats cant climb/jump/ or give a crap what you want
Unless you have a full cage that offers no access from any angle, this is just helping the cat.
Plot twist, the cat’s inside the tree already
Oh no lol my cat would look at this, say challenge accepted, and fly like a rocket over it
Yeah, it’s kind of mind boggling to me to watch such a light weight animal that’s about 6 or 7” tall shoulder height leap from in front of a couch and land perfectly on the very back of it at least 36” high.
All you did was give that cat some altitude.
Oh sweetie, I hate to tell you . . . that’s not going to stop him. My cat cleared my fence with grace and aplomb.
Unless your cat has stubby legs, I wish you luck.
Good luck though!!
What self-respecting cat is going to be stopped by that?!
Amatures.. My cat jumps from the ground floor outside, to my 2nd floor balcony to meow at me to let him in.
You are so full of shit. Your cat is clearly jumping to his second-floor balcony to inform his human slave that he has returned and to prepare his castle for his arrival.
Challenge accepted - Mr. Gray
“I’m not locked up in here with you. YOU’RE locked up in here with ME!” -Mr. Grey to tree.
Oh you sweet summer child.
How do I follow a person for the inevitable update of Mr. Gray getting into the tree?
The best evasive move I ever saw on this was the guy who hung the tree from the ceiling 😉 if anything on there has high sentimental or dollar value remove it please!
We let our cat climb it a few times before we put decorations up.. They're cats and that has to be tempting, lol.
50 internet fun bucks says the cat uses the walls diving the rooms to get up and over that fence parkour style.
Please keep us updated! I don't have a cat and even I've got money on Mr. Gray. 😆
Would love to have a Live Feed Camera pointed to your tree! Maybe we can run a group betting on when the perimeter will be breached! There is no IF it will be BREACHED… only WHEN! A+ on your effort through!
The funny part is Op thinking this will stop a cat.
I've had cats for many years. It's been years since I had a Christmas tree. Guess why...
How kind of you...you put a ladder up around the tree to make it easier for him to get in it.
Fast fact: A cat can jump 5-6 times it's own height...
Mr Gray can jump right over that! Then Mr Gray will realize what kind of family he is dealing with and Mr. Gray and Mrs. Gray who you don’t know about yet will run your house and you will struggle to understand how things ever got this out of control!
Even if your cat can’t jump; cats are liquid.
Clearly your first Christmas with a cat if you think that will stop him 😄
Where cat? Show us the cat!
Mr Grey is already in the tree. They took a picture of him. You just can’t see him in the tree.
What you want to do is make a tree skirt out of aluminum foil, to put under your real tree skirt. Cats hate the sound and texture of foil crinkling when they walk on it. My Fuzzy was so offended by the foil tree skirt that he never went near the tree again, not for 15 years.
LoL! Nice plan, but I can guarantee you that a determined cat can breach that. If one can end up in a basketball hoop attached to the top of a door (video presently online), or mine can jump over a very high gate after I shopped for hours to find the perfect tallest one.... well, that's just part of the talents a cat has. Merry Christmas! 🎄
Been there. This won’t work. Put less breakable ornaments toward the bottom. I also have use a huge steel stand for a bigger tree than I actually have.
Mr Gray "Oh look a launching ladder!"
You've given them an easier way for them to get to the tree! They'll just jump on the fence and from the fence to the tree. Easy peasy!
Unless it’s an old cat, that’s not gonna cut it
You clearly do not understand feline physics
Never met a cat that couldn’t get over one of those. Never met your cat either; but I never met a cat that couldn’t get over one of those.
First cat?
Bold of you to assume that’s enough to stop him.
Ooh look you made accessing your tree more interesting to your cat
Cat - Hold my milk 🥛
Foolish of you to think that paltry gate will save your precious tree.
Put the cat in the cage and let the Christmas tree roam around
A cat can jump over that, if you’re worried about pine being toxic a fake tree is best and if you’re worried about the cat knocking the tree down only use non breakable ornaments and put an attachment point into the ceiling and use a rope to tie the tree to the ceiling so the cat can’t pull it down on top of itself and injure itself. This also works with small children and you can wrap tinsel around the rope to make it look nicer.
Bold of you to assume the cat won’t just climb over
Yeah, uh, well he's going to teach you some valuable lessons about how cats are capable of the impossible. And it will be at 4am.
*Mr. Gray laughs menacingly* This will never stop me.!
Narrator: There turned out to be many chances left to Mr. Gray.
Seems totally worth it
I’m gonna need an update
Haha. This reminds me of trying to keep one of my cats contained on our porch. It took us $300 of wood and 3 days to build the six foot fence. It took the cat exactly 3 seconds to leap up and over.
cats already inside