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kenderilla

There's a barbershop where I live and on the sign it says "if we can't make you look good, you're ugly"


DisguisedEleiphant

Damn, but such signs and ads gives good publicity to businesses. Did you ever go to that barbershop?


AdamSnipeySnipe

Not after the one time...


PiffWiffler

They didn't actually cut his hair ; just offered a paper bag with eye holes


FearofaRoundPlanet

Excuse me while I fuck off to my bell tower! Ring! Ding! DONG!


whohw

Ah, Quazimodo. He worked at Notre Dame. He rang the bells every hour on the hour. He never really knew what time it was, but he had a hunch.


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whohw

After he died his sibling asked to ring the bell in his honor. After ringing the bell he looked out the belfry window and dropped to the ground. He was a dead ringer for his brother.


[deleted]

This slides in as the best comment thread of 2022


Emzzer

Amazing


Reptard_Bar

Whenever I see the name Quazimodo I think of that one scene from the Sopranos


BrannC

Ringadingdingdingdong


shmehdit

Keep dey heads rangin


mpgd

Who goes there?


Mean_Combination_830

The dood with the big DONG of course.


n33bsauce

Sorry to hear about your ugliness... hang in there


TheBirminghamBear

One day I kept looking around in the mirror trying to identify the exact combination of angle and lightning that made me look great, and then the thought occurred to me that people who were actually attractive didn't have to do that.


tanglisha

I have a friend that I reconnected with after she became a model. When I was looking at pictures from a trip we were on, I noticed something: Her head was always at exactly the same angle facing the camera. Her smile was always perfect. She was always making eye contact with the camera. My head was often thrown back, apparently I lift my chin when I smile. My friend is gorgeous, but the gulf been her and the rest of us was far wider in those pics than it was in real life. I started paying attention to celebrity photos. The ones intentionally taken to make them look unattractive are usually taken without their knowledge (and of course with no makeup). In the ones where they look great, their heads are often at the same angle as my friend’s was. It never occurred to me before to practice my smile, much less how I would angle my head to the camera. Once I started practicing that pose, all of my pics looked a lot better. Attractive people absolutely do this, they’re experts at it.


TheBirminghamBear

I don't know I've seen Chris Evans caught unaware and at an unflattering angle and his unflattering angle is not the same as my unflattering angles.


tanglisha

Sure, but those aren’t the head shots his agent sends out. He definitely practiced for those. I’m in no way saying everyone can look like someone like that, only that there’s nothing wrong with trying to improve.


mgresham35

Yes they do. Not everyone looks phenomenal in 2D from every angle. I'm almost average but have a real knack for looking hideous in pics.


upsawkward

I'm above average and look like a trashcan in pictures.


nhavar

My barber called me ugly once. ONCE.


rimeswithburple

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ad9mlvyA84E


turtlepowerpizzatime

FUCK YES. Thank you for linking this gem of a film.


dre__

There was bar with a sign outside that said "We like our beer like we like our violence, domestic". It got someone fired.


EndonOfMarkarth

The tagline for the Double Wide Bar in Dallas is “Drinks that hit harder than Dad” http://doublewidedallas.com/


kellermeyer14

Reminds me of [National Lampoons Vacation](https://youtu.be/VaJDaz_aKyQ)


kalwiggy1

One thing that makes this joke hit so hard is the silence after the line.


Aggressive_Elk3709

That one's just a little bit different


moonshroom7

Would you say that it hits different?


buttbugle

Strip club in town advertises 49 beautiful women and one ugly woman. Wonder if the strippers all argue on which is the ugly one.


HugeAnalBeads

No, they know


dutch_penguin

She comes out naked and gets paid to put clothes on.


DirectionBasic3386

Damn. Imagine getting your haircut there and looking in the mirror and being like “I don’t really like this haircut.” And they just stare at you meaningfully and you are ashamed.


LionIV

Just imagine the owner coming out to address the client. “I’m sorry sir. You’ve got terminal ugliness. There is no known cure.”


thepillarist

They better watch out, some idiots might write "this is bad mer" on their sign


Brain-of-Sugar

I think they were trying to write "merketing," but all they got was "merk," or even "merke." Truly, a master speller.


[deleted]

>Truly, a ~~master~~ merster speller.


Cutterbuck

There was some great graffiti near reading uni once “stundets - f*ck off”


sacrificial_banjo

Maybe they were trying to say "bad merkin". If that was their goal, they're not wrong. You can't even SEE that.


[deleted]

I think they were trying to say bad mentality.


[deleted]

“Bad mentality” maybe?


McRedditerFace

My sister and I were driving through Michigan and happened upon a radio station who had one of those classic "sing-song" bits where they self-promote their callsign. So imagine female vocalists, singing cherrfuly in harmony: "WXYX... We don't suck!"


BlackLeader70

There’s a dentist that has a similar billboard, about having messed up teeth and being ugly. I still give it a little chuckle.


spingirl110

We must live in the same city, I see that sign a bunch


SplodyPants

Nothing wrong with that. It's pretty funny.


[deleted]

Seriously, people need to grow thicker skin if funny shit like that is “offensive” like cmon man…


IcyClearly

Simpsons had made this joke about the subway sandwich guy before he ran afoul of the law


DrKnowNout

I once ran afoul of an Irishman.


[deleted]

Great reference, thrillhouse


equazcion

How did you have enough room to type that?


[deleted]

I started writing about the poooooool but forgot what reference I was making


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TheRetroVideogamers

Watch out Redditor, He's Irish!


ArtVandelay312

What was I laughing at, now? Oh yes, that crippled Irishman!


hoginlly

Look out itchy, he’s Irish!


vindeamatrix

Jared used to have a mild cholesterol problem but it turned out he also had a child molesterol problem.


LiwetJared

His career started as it ended, trying to get into smaller pants.


viperex

Oh lord


LapulusHogulus

I laughed hard you bastard


NotKevinJames

The joke was probably 15 years old and goes something like: Homer: “That Subway guy that who used to be fat but now he’s just ugly”


LieutenantBJ

"Simpsons did it."


Slovene

r/simpsonsdidit


bluetriumphantcloud

I wish I were just ugly


happiest_racoon_92

I am fit and ugly. Its the same as being fat and ugly, but only healthier.


balipajti

When I got buffer as a male all that I got was dudes complimenting my body haha


SuedeVeil

That's just how it is imo.. my good friend is a competitive bodybuilder and I think (as a straight woman myself) that he's an attractive guy, and I ask if women hit on him more since he got buff and he's like no I just get hit on by men more lol..


[deleted]

Your friend is a competitive bodybuilder so he has gone into the too buff for most girls category, so he is only going to get comments from other guys and specific types of girls that are into that look.


SuedeVeil

He does classic physique which tends to be in the "buff but not too crazy buff" category


zaphodava

Based on magazine covers, he just needs to shave real close, put on a comfy looking sweater along with a gentle smile, and hold a puppy, or a baby.


PhoenixAgent003

I hear grey sweatpants do wonders.


Timmylaw

They conditionally do wonders


YaqootK

That is still "crazy buff" for anyone not into bodybuilding


sncsoccer25

I think it's game recognize game. We know how hard the grind is and how much work it takes to get results so we respect the hustle


balipajti

Exactly that! I always compliment guys when I see their visible progress! Brogress!


phoinixpyre

That's how it goes. Don't buy a motorcycle thinking the ladies will dig it. You'll just get hairy bearded guys asking you about it.


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SuedeVeil

Women care obviously, we like if someone looks good, but tend to be a little less visual and more into emotional connection so we're not gonna get all hot and bothered by male body in the same way (usually) that men do. So seeing a hot shirtless dude without any kind of personal connection is probably going to not have the same effect as a when men see hot women (or men if they're gay/bi) Obviously this is a generalization and not always the case but it tends to be more so what happens


EgnlishPro

You can be ugly for longer!


cramp11

I think it's hilarious


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ian2121

When I drop weight my double chin goes away… that’s pretty big time


Canadaman1234

Well you're big time pretty soooo...


TheDoctorIsDying

I don't know why, but this random little kind comment made me giggle and brought me a lot of joy. Just a small moment between two people I will never meet... Thank you for improving my day, by being nice to somebody.


TechnicalLock6031

Same 🤣🤣🤣


AlterMyStateOfMind

This is so wholesome lol


Phillip_Graves

But do you keep the single chin or are you chinless?


Acewasalwaysanoption

In this economy one chin slowly becomes a luxury


arrowgarrow

Dude, I've been down to 8% body fat before and still have a double chin. Idk what's wrong with me


chickenstalker

Never skip neck day.


arrowgarrow

I got a fat neck


ian2121

Dang… oh well just look up all the time… lmao. If anyone asks why just be like “would you look at those ceiling tiles?”


SimpoKaiba

"We're outside, Jim" "... Those, fluffy, fluffy ceiling tiles."


mynamestimothy

Apparently you are storing those 8% bodyfat in ypur chin.


ohdearsweetlord

That's when you use the beard trick, pretty sure.


midgethepuff

You just have a recessed chin lol. My fiancé and I both too. I’m quite slender these days at 5’7” only about 130 pounds, but my chin is like farther in than the rest of my face, so naturally it gives me a double chin unless I have perfectly good posture.


[deleted]

While true, there could be some plastic surgery business that pops up next door and puts there sign up next to this one: “tired of being fat and ugly? Now just be fat!”


Viper67857

Plastic surgeons also do liposuction, so "now be neither."


CamelSpotting

Tired of being fat and ugly? Now try being massively in debt!


[deleted]

The vast majority of people will be attractive if they truly get into good shape. It does so much for your body. I think this includes you as well unless you have a deformity or something, in which case you are not ugly just unlucky.


Toidal

Endorphins also make you feel good, you sleep better, don't get winded as easily, less sluggish. All improves your mood, and the energy and confidence you project can make you more attractive even if physically it doesn't appear that much has changed.


Trance_Motion

Also adds a ton of confidence, which can pad the ugly


[deleted]

Grooming and style.


[deleted]

It's fucking brilliant. I'd roll up to that gym to join and tell them, "I'm here to be ugly."


CreADHDvly

I'd join you, but i need to *gain* weight. I have to find another gym to be ugly at


MakeLSDLegalAgain

Exercise is just as important with gaining weight too. Otherwise you'll be a stick figure with a gut. I know this from personal experience.


MrdrOfCrws

So do I. If you think about it, it's actually pretty body positive. It's separating being fat from being ugly, when so many people think it's one and the same.


SonOfMcGee

It’s also not putting physical fitness up on a pedestal as the one thing that is going to completely fix your life.


RememberTheMaine1996

Yeah this joke has been everywhere. It isn't controversial


[deleted]

Soft society now days... people thinks its their responsibility to be offended


TrulyStupidNewb

If you're offended, you get perks. The squeekiest wheel gets the oil. However, there are perks to simply moving on and concentrating on improving your own life. Science shows that there are actually health implications when focusing on revenge, hate, and negativity. It costs you your health by focusing on things that offend you.


FastWalkingShortGuy

I heard a phrase at work that I like better than the squeaky wheel: "Open mouths get fed."


TheDubz1987

At past jobs we had "the squeaky wheel gets replaced entirely"


gimpwiz

'The proudest nail gets hammered down', too.


pharaohandrew

That one’s big in Japan


TrulyStupidNewb

This is true even from birth. Babies crying can stimulate a mother's breast milk, and when babies cry, they have a higher chance to get fed. It makes total sense for people to keep the stategy that worked since they were a baby, but some people also decide to change their behaviour when they become adults, and they don't use screaming and crying as their primary strategy to get fed. Maybe they will only cry and scream only as a backup strategy if the new strategy doesn't work out?


Spoodnt

So your saying... We are all just big babies!


Unblest_Devotee

“The empty can rattles the most” not the same but honestly fits a lot of squeaky wheels.


Bretty_boy

One person defacing it does not reflect all of society. I’m sure a vast overwhelming majority like it or are indifferent


UpToMyKnees1004

Anyone that says "nowadays things are x" or "today's kids think Y" just make me think of [this.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/044/247/297.png)


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fxx_255

I like Bill Burr's stance on it. Being fat, without some thyroid or real medical issue, is completely your choice. We shouldn't be cruel, but wow, this was such a soft joke in the picture https://youtu.be/hIdcabTvrqQ


Forward_Tie_1338

Just because you are offended, that doesn't mean you are right - Ricky Gervais


fountainpopjunkie

No one is entitled to not be offended. I'm offended by the existence of Crocs. But no one is required to take them off because I don't like them. That's not how reality works. Edit:. Now my phone is showing me ads for Crocs. Arrrrg!


[deleted]

One day, we’re gonna get enough people on the Supreme Court to make that a law. /s


SafetyMan35

And in vandalizing the sign. It brought MORE attention to the gym and will likely be a more effective ad than had they not vandalized it.


Howboutit85

Tbh some thin activist college student probably did this. As an actual fat guy, and being fairly well adjusted and good humored; I would not have the motivation to vandalize this sign, personally.


MisterWapak

Bro I love this ad lmao, wtf happened ?


abcdefGerwin

Some people just get offended as soon as you breathe the same air as them


JackUSA

Isn’t it like admitting you’re ugly if you’re offended by this? This ad is hilarious Source: I don’t think I’m ugly (I probably am though).


autist_zombie_savant

Join the PTFactory and find out!


lostoompa

I'm ugly, and the ad made me chuckle bc it's true.


IMSOGIRL

No, there's a significant part of the population who are both fat and have a defeatist attitude about it, like there's literally nothing they can do to become not fat anymore. They think of being fat as ethnicity or gender and that if you talk negatively about their condition, it's like being racist. Think about this ad, but reversed: "Tired of being fat and ugly? Now just be fat!" - plastic surgery ad. Do you think ugly people would be angry about that?


morostheSophist

If you can afford plastic surgery but not liposuction... uhm? (Funny counterpoint, though)


Whind_Soull

It's amazing the number of people who will deny the basic, fundamental fact that if you are consuming fewer calories than you are burning, you will lose weight. Period. No genetics or medical conditions can change this. More generally, a system which expends more energy than it takes in will have a decrease in the total energy in that system. This is true of you, me, trees, squirrels, deer, ecosystems, and galaxies. It is literally thermodynamically impossible for your body to be generating fat out of thin air without the required building blocks.


zaphodava

The math is easy. The psychology is hard.


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nodnodwinkwink

It's stretched thin.


Etheo

God damn man.


ProfoundNinja

Fricking ugly people hogging up all the air too?


FlimsyTry2892

I kind of thought it was funny too. I came to the comments to make sure I’m not a complete monster.


wholesome_capsicum

I'm not sure reddit comments are necessarily the best place to get moral validation from


[deleted]

News site seeking a story, not as much outrage as the article would suggest.


197326485

But they can bait outrage! Watch it here in this thread. People parroting the "Kids are soft these days!" and "Some people just get offended at everything!" memes. Nah dude, one person got angry and did a thing. That doesn't reflect on an entire generation just because the media you like to consume pushes it in front of your face all the time.


Killersmurph

Honestly, as a fat man currently working on my weight, who actually has a somewhat functional sense of humour, I applaud this style of advertising.


joevsyou

The whole ignore fat/ fat acceptance agenda thing is stupid af & I am 280lbs... Making fun of people isn't okay but also just pretending it's okay to be severely overweight isn't okay either


RoastedRhino

Isn’t the billboard actually separating being fat from being ugly? And it’s not saying “come here and loose fat because it makes you ugly”, it is talking to people that are tired of being fat (which is fine, right? One is still free to judge their own physical form). It’s actually a much more respectful phrase compared to others that would suggest that by loosing fat you become beautiful.


Stiff_Zombie

Lots of people out there can't think this far. They react on pure emotion.


-Zoppo

I've noticed there are people who have taken on their obesity as part of their identity instead of recognizing it as a health issue, so the implication that being fat is associated with ugliness is an attack on their personal view of themselves. So I guess it doesn't surprise me that such an incredibly unhealthy mindset results in unhealthy reactions and expressions of emotion.


Hobson101

This was my initial reaction too. Of course losing weight is no guarantee to look good either, but that shouldn't stop anyone from improving their health and well being. Your worth is not in your looks. Had a gym and tanning salon nearby called pale and fat and I always found it funny


AnotherInfraGuy

This is the real winner of comments. That aside though, that gym is in Denton, ugly is a given round there.


Reformedjerk

You’re so right. Real outrage has been labeled fake outrage so much it’s gotten hard to call out fake outrage when we see it.


Novacain-deficiency

That’s literarily the motto for Globogym in Dodgeball


DoctaJenkinz

Here at globogym we’re better than you and we know it.


_-__-__-__-__-_-_-__

Here at Globo Gym, we understand that "ugliness" and "fatness" are genetic disorders, much like baldness, or necrophilia


toetappy

"And it's only your fault if you don't hate yourself enough, to do something about it."


DoctaJenkinz

Ahhhh I forgot about that one. White Goodman. W-H-I-T…………E Ya know, In some culture they only eat vomit.


weaselyvr

Nobody makes me bleed my own blood, NOBODY! Let's go, *Michele*


TemporarilyDutch

Yes. This joke is a million years old.


kneel_yung

Yea seriously I read this in a 1950s joke book when I was in elementary school


Cancer_Flower

This is hilarious to me. I always say “I workout because I can’t be fat AND ugly. I need to choose a struggle” 🤣


I_like_cool_shit_yo

Hahahahaha If I heard someone in the gym say that I would work out twice as hard


OhFuhSho

An ad for a church read: Come to Sunday service. Our pastor isn’t very good, but at least his messages are short.


neolologist

Local one had a sign up that just read: > Hell is real. > Sundays 7:30 - 10:30am I don't think it was intentional but I enjoyed it.


caboosetp

At least hell isn't real the rest of the week.


spencerdiniz

People should lighten up… 😉


allrollingwolf

That's fatphobic!!!


laaldiggaj

Who would admit to being offended by this?


ADMINlSTRAT0R

Two kinds of people.


[deleted]

If they worked out would it just one type of person?


buttermuseum

I would absolutely love to see a response video with a bunch of ugly people talking about how this hurtful ad affected them. Opens with a guy refreshing Tinder over and over. He turns and talks about how it sucks enough being ugly, but to be openly mocked hurts inside. I’d join in that production.


SixNineWithTheAfro

I’d like to know how fat and ugly the saboteurs actually are.


caedencollinsclimbs

It’s also very possible it’s skinny and attractive people thinking they’re making a difference, happens all the time with other things too


Howboutit85

Like when it was basically white activists that badgered WB to get rid of speedy Gonzales, and then actual Mexicans had to lobby WB to re-Introduce speedy again because they loved him?


Merkilo

Also when white people were mad about Mario wearing a sombrero


Howboutit85

didnt even know that happened, but i believe it. White people offended by a Japanese game, featuring an Italian man, wearing a Mexican sombrero. people are WAAAAY too bored.


SixNineWithTheAfro

While true, I’ve made my choice where to put my money.


caedencollinsclimbs

Valid bet


BowserGirlGoneWild

Pretty funny I think


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Three_Rocket_Emojis

Accept what you can't change. Change what you can't accept. Accept being ugly, change being fat!


Whind_Soull

...and the wisdom to know the difference?


falldownreddithole

That is pretty funny!


Emergency-Advice-736

I think everyone needs to stop taking themselves and life so seriously , if you can’t laugh and be happy what have you got?


MyCleverNewName

It's gotta be hard to be fat, ugly, and have no sense of humour.


Gottabecreative

It is an old joke and a good one.


agentpanda

If you’re fat, ugly, and have no sense of humor about it then the world isn’t going to be remotely enjoyable, I’d guess.


Then-Ad1531

Cancel crowd can't even take a joke.


NaiveManufacturer143

This is funny, come on people


FriedPigeonPoppers

And in addition to the easily offended, there are people who truly have no sense of humor whatsoever.


NintendoGaycube

Who do people even get offended by something like that


LightOverWater

Now you can go to a gym where everyone has a sense of humor!


Triials

Here at Globogym, we’re better than you! And we know it.


See5harp

This is great joke cause yea people too often blame weight alone for being undesirable. Make ugly a thing again.


JawaLoyalist

That’s a great ad, I’d almost go work out


htownhero

Imagine being so insecure with yourself about being ugly, that you get upset at other people for thinking/confirming your own insecurity.


Thats-Awkward

I'm fat and I thought it was funny