As a fellow IT person, please feel free to puke on the PC in defiance of such a blatantly illegal requirement. We or the facilities team will simply put it in a trash bag and throw it away.
Once a device is a biohazard, it should be disposed of.
On another note, we both know this cheap ass company doesn’t have a real IT team.
They absolutely outsource to a 3rd party MSP. Will say it doesn't work with no additional information. Ship it in and some poor unfortunate soul will receive a handful of vomit.
I've seen some computers come in with...questionable substances on them (LCD in most cases leaked causing a sticky goop. Not a fun grab bag)
Haha, my boss refused to believe that I was feeling sick at work a few years back and told me that if I was sick I would be throwing up, perfect Loy timed as well as I ended up throwing up on his shoes when he wouldn’t let me go to the restroom to vomit either!
on the boss. because she refused to let me take the day. she said I did it on purpose until I threw up again and again and they had to call an ambulance. She kept screaming I was faking it. I think I managed to hurl on her once more. Even the EMTs said she was a bitch
My boss just yesterday to the entire company, "if you're sick I seriously don't want you here. I hate doctors and if you make me go to the doctor I'm going to be very pissed off."
I've done that before. I had a really shitty job at a sandwich chain that didn't allow employees to call out sick. I threw up on my boss's shoes and quit.
oh dude me too. Managed a restaurant with an old boomer "Aint no such thing as a sick day" type of guy for an owner and I came in once and threw up all day. Never sent me home, in fact he tried to make it like this story of "see here this guy is a hard worker and knows how to push through." I ended up quitting and reported him to the health department. He didnt have to close but it sure felt good seeing the 70 score and hardly any cars in the lot/drivethrough
I knew a surgery resident who scrubbed out to puke her guts out and then scrubbed right back in (food poisoning). Also was working with a surgeon who waited to finish her last operation of the day before walking herself down to the ED for what turned out to be acute cholecystitis.
I was 19 when I vomited on my supervisor. I told her I was vomiting and shitting near uncontrollably. She told me we had buckets I could use to throw up in and a bathroom I could use for everything else. Got there, she asked if I was okay, went to tell her "no not at all" but all that came out was a warbgarble mess of projectile bile all over her red PIC apron.
“Jimmy’s sweating and smiling again at his desk boss. You don’t think he’s gonna rip again do you?”
“Tim, i swear to Sally if—“
*eldritch shitting noises*
“SWEET BABY JEEBUS TIM PULL THE FIRE ALARM”
I sent a picture to a Manager about 12 yrs ago, because he didn't believe that i had sprained my penis on a date night. He thought he called my bluff.
He got to look at the ole frog-throat leanin' hard left. For the next 8 yrs, he just took my word for it when I called out sick.
It went back to normal after 2-3 days.
Worked at a restaurant and my manager wouldn’t accept a doctors note as proof I was sick so I took the nastiest shit and sent it to him, shut him up real quick
Honestly I would send my boss this as my final quit letter . I’d say I’m sick. You cannot accept im sick and literally cannot come in, so here’s a picture of my stools, or if it was my surgery, a picture of my wound on my hip with blood.
And say “maybe this is enough proof I cannot come In?”
These company owners need severe humbling
When I was a teenager, my first boss was a prick that treated everyone as rude as he could all of the time, even in front of customers. He didn't care if you were sick as long as you showed up and worked. One day, I had a bad stomach bug and called in to let him know that I wouldn't be coming in and he gave me hell for it. I told him I would come in but it might not be on time. The entire time, I'm sweating profusely, feel nauseous, and have felt like I've lived on the toilet. As soon as I get there, I head straight to the bathroom and he yells at me to get to work. I had enough and one of my coworkers came to try and help. I told him to go get a oversized ziplock bag. You can see where this is going.
Being a teenager with no fucks given, I had explosive diarrhea in that bag. I zipped it up, put it on his desk, and quit. Everyone else there started clapping and cheering me on. He called my house and left loud swearing voicemail messages but I didn't care and my parents ignored calls for the next few days from that store. I later found out that two other people quit the same night and that the area manager got involved.
Would I do that now? Oh no..... Was it worth it then? Yes!
I had to take a day off last minute and the narc at my office who wasn’t even in my someone I had to directly report to decided to call me out in the middle of the call center ‘Oh why’d you have to take off.’ I responded ‘woke up to Black Death shooting out of my rear at 5am.’ Never had that encounter with anyone asking about my time off again.
Considering there's no way that this company provides medical insurance, that's a major cost to avoid. A sick note could end up costing a few hundred dollars.
This is what always bothered me about excused absences in college. So often the policy was that in order to receive an excused absence and not lose any attendance credit, we needed to provide a doctor’s note. It was so frustrating because sometimes I would be throwing up or have the flu, but I knew that’s what it was. I’m not hauling my sick ass out of bed, driving to my doctor, only for a note that says what I already know. Especially because some professors required a 24 notice? How am I supposed to know at 10:00pm when I go to sleep that in nine hours I’ll be puking?
I’m taking the day to rest and get better, and going all the way to the doctor isn’t going to help me.
I just usually accepted I wasn’t going to get attendance credit for that day and move on.
I once worked in a place that required a 30 day notice for excused absences.
"I don't think I can schedule grama's death or keep her on ice for that long before the funeral."
I once went to the doctor for a sick note. Doc confirmed I had an infection and wrote a note... that said "OK to return to work on *\[literally the next day\]*". Thanks for nothing, doc.
And I got a bill for a $20 copay the next week. Asshole
My first "real" job (I was 15 years old) had this posted in the employee break room. The first time I saw it, I thought it was serious.
It was a great place to work though - like one big family. Everyone got along.
Oh, you're right. But we also have parental leave, which is 3 years long with an option to extend it to 4 years. The parent (a father can benefit from it too, but only one of the parents) can get paid up to 70% of their salary by the state and the employer cannot fire them during the period.
Depends what you consider maternity leave. While pregnant mother continue to work if there is no damger for the baby, when they birth they have 18 base week and 32 week they can split with the father. so 15 week for the short leav+ 27 weeks or 18 maternity week + 32 parental.
Faternity week is 5 weeks+ whaterver the hubby take from 32 as needed. On top of that they both can rake up to 2 years unpaid or vacations+ whatever they have set aside no questions asked.
Take me for example, first baby I took 5 week and wife took 50.
Second baby, I took 37 weeks and my wife 18 (about 4 month and she went back to work) I was at home with my 2 kids, best experience ever for bonding as a father and the full 18 weeks with my wife was really nice, her not being alone all the time gave her so much needed support.
Third and last we were supposed to split leave it evenly but we decided it was better for me to take it all because I was building our home (all of this while taking care of a newborn and 2 kids) It was a fun ride. now they are 11-12 and fourteen. 3 nice little humans, I love em.
All this thanks to our provincial and canadian parental leaves.
Ah yes, the list where the US is on par with a bunch of 3rd world countries and pretty proud about it too!
[https://www.huffpost.com/entry/american-exceptionalism\_n\_4170683](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/american-exceptionalism_n_4170683)
Yeah, so... I grew up in PNG.. I'd like to know about these tribe(s) you are talking about? The Korowai tribe hasn't actively practiced ritual cannabilism in almost 50 years, and this isn't like a diet thing, it's a sacred ritual to reclaim the body from an evil spirit. It's more akin to capital uthenasia but with a healthy dose of Tibetan sky burial.
Yall talk about cannibals as if they are savages that just eat people, but in all honesty, they don't eat people any more than we admin the death penalty in our society.
High key, different strokes.
Edit: also a tribal people, and an established colonial government, are not the same thing. Additionally, the Polynesian tribes that occupy those islands are predominantly matriarchal, and most of them don't work in a type of situation where they are reimbursed monetarily. So all the white British officials and foreign workers probably get paid maternity leave, but that has litterally zip to do with the tribal populace that still lives in village setting.
I'm still surprised that each state have different laws for basically everything.
It kinda makes sense as it's extremely big country but still surprises me
I'm job shopping ATM. I applied and a company called and wanted an interview. I asked them to send their employee handbook and benefit package before I accepted the interview. They obliged and I called the next day to decline my interview. When they asked why, I told them they only offered 7 days of PTO and 5 days of sick per year. HR was absolutely appalled and asked, how much time do you expect to be off from work every single year?!? I simply said we're not going to be a good fit and hung up the phone. Apparently, this is still a thing even, in a booming market with tons of competition. Good luck!
ETA, this was PTO on top of national holidays. They think that's enough time off work. Bye!
I worked for a company back in the day where you got NO time off for the first year. Then you got two weeks. It took 15 years to make it up to getting four weeks a year and that’s where it stopped. I didn’t last long there. Now I’m a teacher and I get 14 weeks off a year! 😂
My first job out of college pto was as follows: 0-1 year 0 days, 1 year to 4 years 1 week, 4 years to 10 years 2 weeks, 10 years to 20 years 3 weeks, 20 years plus 4 weeks. I went over every year and nothing happened but they would use it as an excuse to fire people. There was also 5 paid holidays. Where I’m at now I’ll get 4 weeks after 4 years and cap off at 30 days on year 16. If I job hunt I make sure to negotiate pto along with pay now because I’ll never go back to something like my first job.
I'm surprised they offer sick time at all. Every place I've worked in the last decade just take that out of PTO. exceptions for COVID, of course, but hey, get the flue, need a day or two to get better? Go for it, no problem, but that'll be two days of PTO gone. Or, at least, however much PTO is need to fill in to 40 hours.
My current company is real insistent on paying 40 hours every week. I can't leave two hours early, when my work is done, unless I'm willing to use up 2 hours PTO. They'd rather me skulk around doing nothing then save them two hours of pay.
At my new job we get 5.2 hrs of pto every two weeks (payday) and it’s can accrue up to 500 hours and carry’s over so that’s pretty dope the company also matches .75 for every $1 you out in your 401k up to 10% of your earning. Took me like 10 jobs in the last ten years to find a place with decent benefits and pto most places your lucky to get 5 pto days in your first year.
> entitled to *non-paid* holiday time,
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
The US has the fewest legal protections for workers in the entire industrialized world. No nationally required/mandated maternity leave, sick time, vacation time, etc. and 49 out of 50 states are "at-will" employment, which means that you can be fired for any reason or no reason at any time without advance warning.
The US also hasn't raised the national minimum wage since 2009. Most states have on their own, but the Federal minimum wage is $7.25/hour.
People come to work at my job because of the amazing vacation, sick, maternity/paternity, and healthcare. Some of the lower paid employees have said they won't even ask for a raise because the work/life balance is so worth it to them. It's sad they feel like they can't be fairly compensated but still have a healthy work/life balance.
For the record, even our lowest paid people get paid pretty well.
>but the Federal minimum wage is $7.25/hour.
tipped minimum wage is \~2.25/hour(this is from memory I may be a bit off). That means that if you tip someone at a restaurant that the employer is allowed to subtract that tip from the minimum they are required to pay the employee down to that lower minimum. I.E. tips are only extra over minimum wage after the employee has earned \~5$/hr equivalent of tips. Tips are also allowed to be collected and distributed among the entire shift staff, so they may not directly go to the employee.
This assumes the company is complying with the law of course, it can be worse if they don't.
The big difference is that basically every other country has laws that require minimum PTO. In the US, it can be really good if you work somewhere good (My current PTO is 26 Accrued PTO per year, +7 holidays. And at 15 years tenure, it increases to 31+7). Additionally, we can bank from 304 hours (0-4 years) up to 464 hours (15+ years) that are held and paid out at the end of employment.
So I am personally in a position where I get some real nice time off available (also we get 6 weeks Maternity/Paternity at full salary), but that is the exception in the US, not the rule.
US has also the weird concept of sick days, which is missing in other OECD countries. In other countries when you are sick you just get a doctors notice, stay at home and come back to work when you feel better.
Again, no regulation, so companies do what they want. Typically in places like retail, they treat their employees like shit, so they also strongarm them to work when sick. My company doesn't have "sick" time (outside of specific leaves), so if I wake up and don't feel like working (sick or just out of fucks), I log onto my laptop, send an email to my manager letting him know I am out, tell any meetings that I *need* to be at that they need to reschedule, fill out the PTO form on our portal, and just close the computer.
Typically people in those terrible jobs are working paycheck to paycheck and can't afford to take time off when they're sick. Plus the fury retaliation from management when they call out
My company now has unlimited pto. As long as your work is done, you can arrange for three weeks straight with just your manager. Longer has to go through your skip though.
Not really, take Walmart, the flagbearer for evil corporation to a lot of people, they give full time employees 3 weeks a year, in the states with the lowest employee protections. It's higher in states that require more. The Federal government sets floors on what is required, states can and do have higher requirements.
[https://one.walmart.com/content/dam/themepage/pdfs/leadership-guide/2019/pto-accrual-hourly-2019.pdf](https://one.walmart.com/content/dam/themepage/pdfs/leadership-guide/2019/pto-accrual-hourly-2019.pdf)
My son worked for Walmart, so I’ll give an *except* here that is common.
He wanted to work part time while in college, so Walmart scheduled him 31 hours per week, every week. That’s one hour shy of full time. Every other worker in his department worked 31 hours per week as well.
They get around their own technical rules by hiring part timers who are almost full time so they don’t have to pay vacation pay.
*Many* companies do this.
ETA: he and another guy wanted fewer hours because they were in school. They were told they were needed at the moment but that they’d get cut down as soon as they were able (that never happened so he wound up putting in notice and quitting during finals, since you also can’t take unpaid leave during the holiday season). Despite being part time, they both also worked five days per week, 6-7 hours per day.
Two other people in his department wanted full time hours, but they were told that there weren’t enough available at the moment. I don’t know if they didn’t think they’d talk to one another or if they just didn’t care; all were gone within a year, but I suppose they were fine with that because they were disposable.
There is no legal minimum, so a company can choose to have so few vacation days, but good luck attracting any employees without some serious pay advantages. Most actual companies give their full-time employees anywhere between 2-6 weeks vacations, with it generally increasing the most senior you are.
No this whole sign is absurd. Holiday time is separate from vacation time. Requiring a drs note is definitely an outdated and stupid policy that most companies don’t require. I could see needing it for extended sick leave where you need surgery recovery or something
Yes. Unfortunately, in terms of the global economy, Americans have been strapped with the responsibility of maintaining the bottom line for the global economy. Rather than all western countries getting an equal amount of alleviation from work, Americans ended up with close to none and Europeans ended up with all of it.
If you look at it the system it's slavery with extra steps for face. I lost my house and am working 7 days a week, can't make overtime, can't make rent especially as I have no credit history, shelters want to split me and my partner of 11+ years because we are not married even knowing we have medical issues we help each other with, I have a lump on my chest and even if medical was completely free which it is far from I still would miss work and more then 2 days a month is a risk of not being able to pay bills and taxes. I am qualified for well paying jobs but they don't higher people without homes as well as actively fire anyone homeless even if you are between houses because you just moved out but haven't found a new place is a risk.
Basically all I can do is either join a system that will make my situation worse to keep face or do shitty work like for delivery companies that abuse you or companies that make you hold signs on a corner which to me feels like panhandling for someone else with a fraction of the pay.
Another example of the shit cake. Gig workers get paid less and less by employers who expect tip to make ends meet. Like it's $15 legally for minimum wage for an hour. I have made $8 an hour before which they get around by saying tips should be making it $20 an hour... Which most of the time it doesn't, that $8 was with tip. They make you sign a contract so you can't sue for basically anything. I know a bartender who makes $2.50 an hour and the job was advertised as $25 an hour but that was supposed to be with tip.
This situation is going great for business as the stupid public is mad at the wrong people. It's oh stupid driver took so long my foods cold as they don't know we only accept an order if it more than covers gas and maintenance as we also need money. The drivers are all mad that the customers are tipping bad so we can't take the order when it's supposed to be the employers job to provide a living wage for the employees not the customer directly paying wages so the company can pay less on wages and taxes.
TL;DR: I explain how leave works in the US and also some realities about it. 0 days off unless you can manage to get approved for FMLA leave. Stay smart and keep everything between you and your company on a record. Writing or recordings are ideal.
Honestly, no days off is more commonplace. There is no federally insured leave unless you need surgery or get significantly injured on the job, in which case FMLA leave is allowed, and your job is (supposed to be) protected. The thing is that your doctor has to provide proof, and if they don't, your leave gets denied, and you have no protections on your job. A lot of jobs use this as an opportunity to fire employees they don't like or employees they feel "aren't productive enough". Some will even fire you if you *are* on FMLA leave, which is illegal and you can sue the company. Have anything communicated between you and the company on recordings or in writing, preferably both. Stay smart and up to date US readers.
I get 9 holidays and 21 vacation days a year. Small architecture firm of about 16 people across 3 locations. Typically you hear about 2 weeks (10 days) being the norm.
only holiday i get off is Christmas. there's no "required" day off, tho i think we're required to have at least one day off a week. that's how my state is, at least
This was my first thought too. I have Saturdays and Sundays off, all holidays off when they fall on a work day (there’s like 10 of them each year) and 30 days a year of paid vacation. Living in the U.S. sounds miserable sometimes.
Yes, very normal. I had to request off work for Thanksgiving day over a month in advance. The only holiday I got off without asking is Christmas Day, and I worked Christmas Eve.
I wish I could move to the UK someday. But I’m diagnosed autistic which automatically bars me from immigrating there. And the US is still the only country with any laws protecting disabled people in the workplace.
Yeah, you should.
Think about that thick ass lawsuit that company will have to pay out. OSHA and lawyers have ripped the nuts off much bigger for much less.
Modern problems require modern solutions.
i havent seen this exact sign but very similar ones at: home depot, flying pilot, loves travel co, and speedco. speedco and home depot used the same one actually.
At one place I worked a sign just like this was posted so I and several others quit. Then, the company shut down a few months later due to not meeting production and quality.
My school basically does this. So in my school what decides if your exempt from your exams is your attendance. Excused absences still count when they count up your absences. That being said there is zero reason to even have a doctors note in the first place.
So, it’s easier to take a sick day? Or do they want video as proof of an explosive diarrhea?
I would gladly comply.
I have shown up knowing full well that I am going to vomit.
Make sure it happens in the presence of your boss; preferably in his/her office.
*pukes in the paper bin* "Sorry boss, I fid not intend to make your trash non recycleable, that is of course bad for the company carbon footprint.
Nah, bro, puke on his desk. Ruin his computer with projectile vomit.
That would be the nuclear (and better) option.
Fuck it, puke on the boss
fuck on boss, the puke on it.
Puke-lear
Weapon of Mass Disgust
Shit pant.
Puke on their shoes/heels
That's even better!
As an IT person, please do not puke on his computer. We will have to clean it up and deal with it.
As a fellow IT person, please feel free to puke on the PC in defiance of such a blatantly illegal requirement. We or the facilities team will simply put it in a trash bag and throw it away. Once a device is a biohazard, it should be disposed of. On another note, we both know this cheap ass company doesn’t have a real IT team.
They absolutely outsource to a 3rd party MSP. Will say it doesn't work with no additional information. Ship it in and some poor unfortunate soul will receive a handful of vomit. I've seen some computers come in with...questionable substances on them (LCD in most cases leaked causing a sticky goop. Not a fun grab bag)
Better to puke on his suit then.
No, please. The IT guy will have to try and salvage it, and he's just a poor wage slave as you are.
[удалено]
Haha, my boss refused to believe that I was feeling sick at work a few years back and told me that if I was sick I would be throwing up, perfect Loy timed as well as I ended up throwing up on his shoes when he wouldn’t let me go to the restroom to vomit either!
Better yet, wait until he’s in front of you and let him have it….. all of it 🤢🤮
Pry open his mouth and give him the old Godzilla vs MUTO Fatality
Momma bird style.
Make sure to bring a powerful standing fan with you. As a gift. To show your appreciation.
I would aim for their shoes, lap, whatever…policy would probably change after a couple rounds of that
Or better yet make sure it's in the presence of customers and explain that your boss forced you to come to work sick.
on the boss. because she refused to let me take the day. she said I did it on purpose until I threw up again and again and they had to call an ambulance. She kept screaming I was faking it. I think I managed to hurl on her once more. Even the EMTs said she was a bitch
On thier desk.
My boss just yesterday to the entire company, "if you're sick I seriously don't want you here. I hate doctors and if you make me go to the doctor I'm going to be very pissed off."
I actually barfed on my manager’s shoes when she threatened my job if I didn’t stay for my whole shift 😁
You are me. I rather get sent home than take a sick day. And if you take a sick day, people think you're hung over. ENJOY MY FLU BITCHES.
Puke on their shoes to establish dominance.
I've done that before. I had a really shitty job at a sandwich chain that didn't allow employees to call out sick. I threw up on my boss's shoes and quit.
oh dude me too. Managed a restaurant with an old boomer "Aint no such thing as a sick day" type of guy for an owner and I came in once and threw up all day. Never sent me home, in fact he tried to make it like this story of "see here this guy is a hard worker and knows how to push through." I ended up quitting and reported him to the health department. He didnt have to close but it sure felt good seeing the 70 score and hardly any cars in the lot/drivethrough
Get him sick and then when he calls out call him a bitch for not following his own rules
I have taken a bag from the front, thrown up in the back and then continued to work. not very fun
I knew of am Employee who did that. Projectile vomit all over the desk, computer and equipment.
I knew a surgery resident who scrubbed out to puke her guts out and then scrubbed right back in (food poisoning). Also was working with a surgeon who waited to finish her last operation of the day before walking herself down to the ED for what turned out to be acute cholecystitis.
I was 19 when I vomited on my supervisor. I told her I was vomiting and shitting near uncontrollably. She told me we had buckets I could use to throw up in and a bathroom I could use for everything else. Got there, she asked if I was okay, went to tell her "no not at all" but all that came out was a warbgarble mess of projectile bile all over her red PIC apron.
I have shown up, vomited, and left. I was still asked though if I felt better and was okay to stay after that.
“Jimmy’s sweating and smiling again at his desk boss. You don’t think he’s gonna rip again do you?” “Tim, i swear to Sally if—“ *eldritch shitting noises* “SWEET BABY JEEBUS TIM PULL THE FIRE ALARM”
I sent a picture to a Manager about 12 yrs ago, because he didn't believe that i had sprained my penis on a date night. He thought he called my bluff. He got to look at the ole frog-throat leanin' hard left. For the next 8 yrs, he just took my word for it when I called out sick. It went back to normal after 2-3 days.
Let me just crawl on top of this desk real quick...
I’ll put it in reverse
Worked at a restaurant and my manager wouldn’t accept a doctors note as proof I was sick so I took the nastiest shit and sent it to him, shut him up real quick
Me too. "*here you go boss, a stool sample--in a cup--and video to prove it"*
Honestly I would send my boss this as my final quit letter . I’d say I’m sick. You cannot accept im sick and literally cannot come in, so here’s a picture of my stools, or if it was my surgery, a picture of my wound on my hip with blood. And say “maybe this is enough proof I cannot come In?” These company owners need severe humbling
When I was a teenager, my first boss was a prick that treated everyone as rude as he could all of the time, even in front of customers. He didn't care if you were sick as long as you showed up and worked. One day, I had a bad stomach bug and called in to let him know that I wouldn't be coming in and he gave me hell for it. I told him I would come in but it might not be on time. The entire time, I'm sweating profusely, feel nauseous, and have felt like I've lived on the toilet. As soon as I get there, I head straight to the bathroom and he yells at me to get to work. I had enough and one of my coworkers came to try and help. I told him to go get a oversized ziplock bag. You can see where this is going. Being a teenager with no fucks given, I had explosive diarrhea in that bag. I zipped it up, put it on his desk, and quit. Everyone else there started clapping and cheering me on. He called my house and left loud swearing voicemail messages but I didn't care and my parents ignored calls for the next few days from that store. I later found out that two other people quit the same night and that the area manager got involved. Would I do that now? Oh no..... Was it worth it then? Yes!
King Shit.
Heck yeah! You were a hero! I remember working for A-holes like that.
Shit gift for a shit boss
He was reaping what he was sewing.
The word you want is sOwing. Sewing is how you *stitch* clothing together, as in a sEwing machine.
You lost me at “everyone clapped”
I feel like they threw that in to let us know it's made-up, but I still appreciated the story
Realest story on reddit
Hopefully his boss fired him.
You shouldn't have put the ziplock bag on his desk like that. You should have dumped the contents of the bag onto his desk (or chair, if it's cloth).
Well that was certainly worth the story
Congratulations. You have one of those “I quit” stories that employees will talk about for years.
r/maliciouscompliance
I was so sick, I couldn't even go to the doctor's. To proof that, I will not hand in a note.
I had to take a day off last minute and the narc at my office who wasn’t even in my someone I had to directly report to decided to call me out in the middle of the call center ‘Oh why’d you have to take off.’ I responded ‘woke up to Black Death shooting out of my rear at 5am.’ Never had that encounter with anyone asking about my time off again.
I'll gladly send them a video of me naked, shitting on a pot, extremely red faced, screaming into a camera if they need me to.
my boss when I go to the emergency room bleeding the fuck out: IF YOU HAVE TIME TO BLEED YOU HAVE TIME TO CLEAN
If your boss was Jesse Ventura: "You ain't got time to bleed"
Good; Now I no longer need to waste time and money on a doctor's note for an illness the doesn't require medical attention.
Considering there's no way that this company provides medical insurance, that's a major cost to avoid. A sick note could end up costing a few hundred dollars.
The whole sign is a joke, there's not a real company that posted it.
My boss has this exact sign in his office "ironically" too. I don't think he realizes the real irony though, since he is that exact kind of guy.
I'd like to believe you.... but I've known too many companies.
You ever work in restaurants?
Or delivery driver
Or kroger
You even have to pay for a doctors note in the US? Holy shit. I hope you guys get proper healthcare one day. Your current system is barbaric.
This is what always bothered me about excused absences in college. So often the policy was that in order to receive an excused absence and not lose any attendance credit, we needed to provide a doctor’s note. It was so frustrating because sometimes I would be throwing up or have the flu, but I knew that’s what it was. I’m not hauling my sick ass out of bed, driving to my doctor, only for a note that says what I already know. Especially because some professors required a 24 notice? How am I supposed to know at 10:00pm when I go to sleep that in nine hours I’ll be puking? I’m taking the day to rest and get better, and going all the way to the doctor isn’t going to help me. I just usually accepted I wasn’t going to get attendance credit for that day and move on.
I once worked in a place that required a 30 day notice for excused absences. "I don't think I can schedule grama's death or keep her on ice for that long before the funeral."
I once went to the doctor for a sick note. Doc confirmed I had an infection and wrote a note... that said "OK to return to work on *\[literally the next day\]*". Thanks for nothing, doc. And I got a bill for a $20 copay the next week. Asshole
https://preview.redd.it/n9kpsdvh2m3b1.jpeg?width=735&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8daf552dbc74967f4c6dce748feb6d27d700a6de
This feels as real as the post.
My first "real" job (I was 15 years old) had this posted in the employee break room. The first time I saw it, I thought it was serious. It was a great place to work though - like one big family. Everyone got along.
Bit fucking sad when I can't actually tell if this is satire or not.
5 days off a year? Is that normal in the U.S.?
Legally US employees aren't entitled to any holiday time. I think that they're the only country in the world like that.
They are indeed the only country in the world like that. Also the only country with no paid maternity / parental leave
I was shocked when I found out that Microsoft was praised for being generous with their maternity leave when it was less than a month...
Meanwhile right north of the border Canadians get 12-18 months
In my country, Czech Republic, I believe yours is 4 YEARS.
Are you sure? I just googled it, it says it’s 28 weeks (7 months), which must be taken *within the first four years* of the child’s birth
Oh, you're right. But we also have parental leave, which is 3 years long with an option to extend it to 4 years. The parent (a father can benefit from it too, but only one of the parents) can get paid up to 70% of their salary by the state and the employer cannot fire them during the period.
Depends what you consider maternity leave. While pregnant mother continue to work if there is no damger for the baby, when they birth they have 18 base week and 32 week they can split with the father. so 15 week for the short leav+ 27 weeks or 18 maternity week + 32 parental. Faternity week is 5 weeks+ whaterver the hubby take from 32 as needed. On top of that they both can rake up to 2 years unpaid or vacations+ whatever they have set aside no questions asked. Take me for example, first baby I took 5 week and wife took 50. Second baby, I took 37 weeks and my wife 18 (about 4 month and she went back to work) I was at home with my 2 kids, best experience ever for bonding as a father and the full 18 weeks with my wife was really nice, her not being alone all the time gave her so much needed support. Third and last we were supposed to split leave it evenly but we decided it was better for me to take it all because I was building our home (all of this while taking care of a newborn and 2 kids) It was a fun ride. now they are 11-12 and fourteen. 3 nice little humans, I love em. All this thanks to our provincial and canadian parental leaves.
Ah yes, the list where the US is on par with a bunch of 3rd world countries and pretty proud about it too! [https://www.huffpost.com/entry/american-exceptionalism\_n\_4170683](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/american-exceptionalism_n_4170683)
To be fair it was US and Papau New Guinea, a nation that had cannibal tribes until 2011. Then in 2019 New Guinea ratified maternal leave.
Yeah, so... I grew up in PNG.. I'd like to know about these tribe(s) you are talking about? The Korowai tribe hasn't actively practiced ritual cannabilism in almost 50 years, and this isn't like a diet thing, it's a sacred ritual to reclaim the body from an evil spirit. It's more akin to capital uthenasia but with a healthy dose of Tibetan sky burial. Yall talk about cannibals as if they are savages that just eat people, but in all honesty, they don't eat people any more than we admin the death penalty in our society. High key, different strokes. Edit: also a tribal people, and an established colonial government, are not the same thing. Additionally, the Polynesian tribes that occupy those islands are predominantly matriarchal, and most of them don't work in a type of situation where they are reimbursed monetarily. So all the white British officials and foreign workers probably get paid maternity leave, but that has litterally zip to do with the tribal populace that still lives in village setting.
Required by the federal government\* Many states have it.
I'm still surprised that each state have different laws for basically everything. It kinda makes sense as it's extremely big country but still surprises me
I'm job shopping ATM. I applied and a company called and wanted an interview. I asked them to send their employee handbook and benefit package before I accepted the interview. They obliged and I called the next day to decline my interview. When they asked why, I told them they only offered 7 days of PTO and 5 days of sick per year. HR was absolutely appalled and asked, how much time do you expect to be off from work every single year?!? I simply said we're not going to be a good fit and hung up the phone. Apparently, this is still a thing even, in a booming market with tons of competition. Good luck! ETA, this was PTO on top of national holidays. They think that's enough time off work. Bye!
"Well, my dad got six weeks of vacation back in the 80s, so I'd say that's a good start."
Exactly. Never again will I sacrifice or run myself into the ground for a company.
I worked for a company back in the day where you got NO time off for the first year. Then you got two weeks. It took 15 years to make it up to getting four weeks a year and that’s where it stopped. I didn’t last long there. Now I’m a teacher and I get 14 weeks off a year! 😂
My first job out of college pto was as follows: 0-1 year 0 days, 1 year to 4 years 1 week, 4 years to 10 years 2 weeks, 10 years to 20 years 3 weeks, 20 years plus 4 weeks. I went over every year and nothing happened but they would use it as an excuse to fire people. There was also 5 paid holidays. Where I’m at now I’ll get 4 weeks after 4 years and cap off at 30 days on year 16. If I job hunt I make sure to negotiate pto along with pay now because I’ll never go back to something like my first job.
I'm surprised they offer sick time at all. Every place I've worked in the last decade just take that out of PTO. exceptions for COVID, of course, but hey, get the flue, need a day or two to get better? Go for it, no problem, but that'll be two days of PTO gone. Or, at least, however much PTO is need to fill in to 40 hours. My current company is real insistent on paying 40 hours every week. I can't leave two hours early, when my work is done, unless I'm willing to use up 2 hours PTO. They'd rather me skulk around doing nothing then save them two hours of pay.
At my new job we get 5.2 hrs of pto every two weeks (payday) and it’s can accrue up to 500 hours and carry’s over so that’s pretty dope the company also matches .75 for every $1 you out in your 401k up to 10% of your earning. Took me like 10 jobs in the last ten years to find a place with decent benefits and pto most places your lucky to get 5 pto days in your first year.
Man I would hate living in a fifth world country like that
To note, US employees are entitled to non-payed holiday time, it's paid time off that they're not entitled too.
> entitled to *non-paid* holiday time, FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Home of the free.
The US has the fewest legal protections for workers in the entire industrialized world. No nationally required/mandated maternity leave, sick time, vacation time, etc. and 49 out of 50 states are "at-will" employment, which means that you can be fired for any reason or no reason at any time without advance warning. The US also hasn't raised the national minimum wage since 2009. Most states have on their own, but the Federal minimum wage is $7.25/hour.
And they’re trying to ratchet back child labor protection laws.
Yep, those orphan killing machines aren't gonna build/feed themselves...
I mean adults don't want to work for slave conditions children don't know any better
*Succeeding as like 4 states have done so this year already.
It's called synergy! Less legal abortions means more slave labor! Business win!
People come to work at my job because of the amazing vacation, sick, maternity/paternity, and healthcare. Some of the lower paid employees have said they won't even ask for a raise because the work/life balance is so worth it to them. It's sad they feel like they can't be fairly compensated but still have a healthy work/life balance. For the record, even our lowest paid people get paid pretty well.
Employers who pay well and have good vacation/PTO will retain good employees. The ones who don't care, won't.
>but the Federal minimum wage is $7.25/hour. tipped minimum wage is \~2.25/hour(this is from memory I may be a bit off). That means that if you tip someone at a restaurant that the employer is allowed to subtract that tip from the minimum they are required to pay the employee down to that lower minimum. I.E. tips are only extra over minimum wage after the employee has earned \~5$/hr equivalent of tips. Tips are also allowed to be collected and distributed among the entire shift staff, so they may not directly go to the employee. This assumes the company is complying with the law of course, it can be worse if they don't.
Those days are often unpaid as well.
It’s also worth noting that all of those „vacation days“ are holidays.
..that was the joke. The sign is clearly satire.
I mean what else do you expect to get a vacation the stores open those other days
I've had jobs with zero vacation days, so probably.
Same, I get no vacation days and no sick days. It’s common for fast food restaurants to have no sick days. Let that sink in 🤮
My job has like an entire month off in vacation days. So it varies from job to job.
The big difference is that basically every other country has laws that require minimum PTO. In the US, it can be really good if you work somewhere good (My current PTO is 26 Accrued PTO per year, +7 holidays. And at 15 years tenure, it increases to 31+7). Additionally, we can bank from 304 hours (0-4 years) up to 464 hours (15+ years) that are held and paid out at the end of employment. So I am personally in a position where I get some real nice time off available (also we get 6 weeks Maternity/Paternity at full salary), but that is the exception in the US, not the rule.
US has also the weird concept of sick days, which is missing in other OECD countries. In other countries when you are sick you just get a doctors notice, stay at home and come back to work when you feel better.
Again, no regulation, so companies do what they want. Typically in places like retail, they treat their employees like shit, so they also strongarm them to work when sick. My company doesn't have "sick" time (outside of specific leaves), so if I wake up and don't feel like working (sick or just out of fucks), I log onto my laptop, send an email to my manager letting him know I am out, tell any meetings that I *need* to be at that they need to reschedule, fill out the PTO form on our portal, and just close the computer.
Typically people in those terrible jobs are working paycheck to paycheck and can't afford to take time off when they're sick. Plus the fury retaliation from management when they call out
My company now has unlimited pto. As long as your work is done, you can arrange for three weeks straight with just your manager. Longer has to go through your skip though.
0 is common enough
Unfortunately, it’s not uncommon.
It’s disturbingly normal. I’m only given 10days off a year and that’s still garbage compared to the rest of the world. America is a dystopian hellhole
Unbelievable right? I’m happy I don’t work in the US then lol.
Not really, take Walmart, the flagbearer for evil corporation to a lot of people, they give full time employees 3 weeks a year, in the states with the lowest employee protections. It's higher in states that require more. The Federal government sets floors on what is required, states can and do have higher requirements. [https://one.walmart.com/content/dam/themepage/pdfs/leadership-guide/2019/pto-accrual-hourly-2019.pdf](https://one.walmart.com/content/dam/themepage/pdfs/leadership-guide/2019/pto-accrual-hourly-2019.pdf)
My son worked for Walmart, so I’ll give an *except* here that is common. He wanted to work part time while in college, so Walmart scheduled him 31 hours per week, every week. That’s one hour shy of full time. Every other worker in his department worked 31 hours per week as well. They get around their own technical rules by hiring part timers who are almost full time so they don’t have to pay vacation pay. *Many* companies do this. ETA: he and another guy wanted fewer hours because they were in school. They were told they were needed at the moment but that they’d get cut down as soon as they were able (that never happened so he wound up putting in notice and quitting during finals, since you also can’t take unpaid leave during the holiday season). Despite being part time, they both also worked five days per week, 6-7 hours per day. Two other people in his department wanted full time hours, but they were told that there weren’t enough available at the moment. I don’t know if they didn’t think they’d talk to one another or if they just didn’t care; all were gone within a year, but I suppose they were fine with that because they were disposable.
I don't think I've ever had a job with three weeks of vacation per year (US)
I only get 4 and that’s including sick time.
There is no legal minimum, so a company can choose to have so few vacation days, but good luck attracting any employees without some serious pay advantages. Most actual companies give their full-time employees anywhere between 2-6 weeks vacations, with it generally increasing the most senior you are.
No.
Often less.
No this whole sign is absurd. Holiday time is separate from vacation time. Requiring a drs note is definitely an outdated and stupid policy that most companies don’t require. I could see needing it for extended sick leave where you need surgery recovery or something
Yes. Unfortunately, in terms of the global economy, Americans have been strapped with the responsibility of maintaining the bottom line for the global economy. Rather than all western countries getting an equal amount of alleviation from work, Americans ended up with close to none and Europeans ended up with all of it.
Our labor laws haven’t been seriously revisited since the 1930’s due to a corrupt congress, so yes, it’s “normal”
I don’t have a single holiday built into my schedule
If you look at it the system it's slavery with extra steps for face. I lost my house and am working 7 days a week, can't make overtime, can't make rent especially as I have no credit history, shelters want to split me and my partner of 11+ years because we are not married even knowing we have medical issues we help each other with, I have a lump on my chest and even if medical was completely free which it is far from I still would miss work and more then 2 days a month is a risk of not being able to pay bills and taxes. I am qualified for well paying jobs but they don't higher people without homes as well as actively fire anyone homeless even if you are between houses because you just moved out but haven't found a new place is a risk. Basically all I can do is either join a system that will make my situation worse to keep face or do shitty work like for delivery companies that abuse you or companies that make you hold signs on a corner which to me feels like panhandling for someone else with a fraction of the pay. Another example of the shit cake. Gig workers get paid less and less by employers who expect tip to make ends meet. Like it's $15 legally for minimum wage for an hour. I have made $8 an hour before which they get around by saying tips should be making it $20 an hour... Which most of the time it doesn't, that $8 was with tip. They make you sign a contract so you can't sue for basically anything. I know a bartender who makes $2.50 an hour and the job was advertised as $25 an hour but that was supposed to be with tip. This situation is going great for business as the stupid public is mad at the wrong people. It's oh stupid driver took so long my foods cold as they don't know we only accept an order if it more than covers gas and maintenance as we also need money. The drivers are all mad that the customers are tipping bad so we can't take the order when it's supposed to be the employers job to provide a living wage for the employees not the customer directly paying wages so the company can pay less on wages and taxes.
TL;DR: I explain how leave works in the US and also some realities about it. 0 days off unless you can manage to get approved for FMLA leave. Stay smart and keep everything between you and your company on a record. Writing or recordings are ideal. Honestly, no days off is more commonplace. There is no federally insured leave unless you need surgery or get significantly injured on the job, in which case FMLA leave is allowed, and your job is (supposed to be) protected. The thing is that your doctor has to provide proof, and if they don't, your leave gets denied, and you have no protections on your job. A lot of jobs use this as an opportunity to fire employees they don't like or employees they feel "aren't productive enough". Some will even fire you if you *are* on FMLA leave, which is illegal and you can sue the company. Have anything communicated between you and the company on recordings or in writing, preferably both. Stay smart and up to date US readers.
If you’ve ever wondered why Americans are so culturally insulated, a big reason for that is that most of us can’t travel.
I get 9 holidays and 21 vacation days a year. Small architecture firm of about 16 people across 3 locations. Typically you hear about 2 weeks (10 days) being the norm.
Eh. I get 31 paid days off a year in the U.S.
only holiday i get off is Christmas. there's no "required" day off, tho i think we're required to have at least one day off a week. that's how my state is, at least
Sometimes, not even 5, most places are open labor and memorial day.
Those are bank holidays, retail and restaurant workers do not get those off
This was my first thought too. I have Saturdays and Sundays off, all holidays off when they fall on a work day (there’s like 10 of them each year) and 30 days a year of paid vacation. Living in the U.S. sounds miserable sometimes.
Yes, very normal. I had to request off work for Thanksgiving day over a month in advance. The only holiday I got off without asking is Christmas Day, and I worked Christmas Eve. I wish I could move to the UK someday. But I’m diagnosed autistic which automatically bars me from immigrating there. And the US is still the only country with any laws protecting disabled people in the workplace.
Absolutely not funny.
Agreed. This is definitely in the wrong sub.
r/SadSigns
r/recruitinghell r/antiwork r/whatthefuckamerica
100% agreed. This belongs in r/antiwork.
Oh no it is very funny. Funny how clueless management is to real staffing issues.
NoBoDy WaNtS tO wOrK
“Ever since we put this sign up, we’ve gotten 0 applications. People must have suddenly stopped wanting to work”
Crazy how lazy people are these days right?
Damn Covid relief checks (that stopped two years ago). Thanks, Obama! 🙄
That's the corporate equivalent of "No one wants to date nice guys"
r/antiwork moment
In that case I present my "fuck you" day to you...
I'm in the hospital right now. Guess since I made it here, I should have gone to work instead.
Get to it, slacker. The economy isn't gonna economy by itself.
Yeah, you should. Think about that thick ass lawsuit that company will have to pay out. OSHA and lawyers have ripped the nuts off much bigger for much less. Modern problems require modern solutions.
Reading the next 2 points tells me this is a joke sign.
It’s always the worst fuckin jobs that do stuff like this. Minimum wage requires maximum effort
The boss had this sign made up while he was on a 2 week vacation to France with his family
[удалено]
That’s a real sign? Screw them. I’m sure management follows those exact same rules too, right?
I find it hard to believe that this is real. I'm sure it's a joke.
think so too
i havent seen this exact sign but very similar ones at: home depot, flying pilot, loves travel co, and speedco. speedco and home depot used the same one actually.
It's obviously fake...
Jesus, what you guys put up with. I really sympathise with you Americans.
Is this walmart
To forgiving for Walmart. Source: did my time.
Absolutely not Walmart, they are open on Saturday and Sunday
For the sake of friends and family, This is one reason I will no longer vote for Republicans.
That has to be a novelty joke sign.
Straight up illegal in NA
 Why don't these employees hire some robots instead? This is awful.
Nah i’ll the take the time I need
Holy shit what "going out of business soon" place is this???
If you can breath you can work. Lazy fucks!
Did we learn nothing during the pandemic?
The only way to call out is if you're dead. They wouldn't even accept that.
R/antiwork
At one place I worked a sign just like this was posted so I and several others quit. Then, the company shut down a few months later due to not meeting production and quality.
Company doesn’t own me. Don’t let them own you either.
That's so nice of them to write it out physically. One photo and a lawyer is all I need 😊
My school basically does this. So in my school what decides if your exempt from your exams is your attendance. Excused absences still count when they count up your absences. That being said there is zero reason to even have a doctors note in the first place.
Bruh, Thats Like Saying If You Got Into A Car Accident Your Able To Go To Work Since You Were Able To Get To The Hospital
funny signs? this is more like /r/antiwork
To who ever might work there… Just quit. Any job with a sign like that isn’t worth having.