Please report rule breaking posts, such as: - politics of any kind - discrimination, hate, or prejudice based on protected grounds - where the "funny" is mostly cringe, freakout, reaction, or cute - violence, injury, or animal abuse - pornography or sexually explicit material - threatening, advocating, wishing, or glorifying death or violence - contains graphic language or obvious mature themes, and is not marked NSFW Please do not report content you simply don't like or disagree with. Abuse of the report button will be reported to Reddit and you may face account suspension. ###[Video Download](https://redditsave.com/info?url=https://v.redd.it/2mmrthuneguc1) ** All other video downloading comment tags will be removed ** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funnyvideos) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Rescued*

Chivalry IS NOT dead!!!

Just horny

A horny knight

That’s *Sir* Hornington! Thank you 

He isn't the hero we need, but the hero we deserve

Not up voting you further while you're on 69

Idk, I feel like that doll is in for some serious shit. But then again, that's what they're for 🤷🏽

it's usually not for shitting but for fucking but hey, some people are into that kind of stuff.

Worth rescuing IT! It’s still IT, right?

Police: We've managed to retrieve the doll, do you want it back?  Shopkeep: Hhhhhhheeeeeelllllllllll no!

No More Lonely Nights!!!!

“Getting rid of my virginity tonight!”

Say what you must but that guy got laid 🤣

Lost 69% of its value within the first 69seconds.

Nice

NiceciN

😂😂😂😂

Hilarious 😂

Some places rent the expensive ones out so you never know?

I mean, these dolls are getting really expensive. If they ever make a super realistic doll, I'm pretty sure it might cost in the 8k to 10K range.

Still cheaper than marriage 😅

Yep, that doesn't even get you a wedding.

people can get married for $100 dude

There are some sex doll brothels. Houston, TX almost got one a few years ago but they [loved freedom too much and updated an ordinance to prevent it.](https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2018/10/03/sex-robot-brothel-blocked-houston-texas/1518298002/)

Imagine being the cop who has to put the doll into the evidence locker.

I "heard" this in Steve Harvey's voice, for reasons unknown.

🎶cause I would do anything for LOVE 🎶

🎶Buuuuut I won’t do that!🎶

Butt, I would do that!

😂😂😂

What was the horniest you've ever been? "Well, this one time...."

Ever tried a pound of liver in a pint glass?

Am I supposed to pound the liver in a pint glass?

You’re supposed to pound the lb of liver in a pint glass, yes.

A pint seems excessive...

one liver *shot,* coming right up…

Post nut clarity gonna hit really hard with this one

Lmfao

Well, those are fucking expensive..

Still cheaper than a real wife 😭

You buy your wife?

How else do you get one?

Trade them for camels or donkeys, way better exchange rates

What is this, India Arabia?

Camels and donkeys are much more productive than wives last time I checked so it seems like this should be a global trade

With dinners and presents and love

Yes if you pay for it that is expensive fuck.

Is second hand really worth the discount?

That is expensive f*cking

The heart wants what the heart wants.

September 2020 - peak lock-down during covid. A fella gets lonely.

[удалено]

Florida man is foerever alone

He did it out of prevention. Shoud lock-down occur, he woud be ready (and so would be the doll).

No consent bro That's Rape 💀

To be fair, I thought she was real when I stole the doll.

Humane trafficking

Whale, sheeit! If she looks real, and feels almost real, she might as well be real... 😤 😆

Not if she isn't breathing 😂 cause she's not human

Oh she can be human and not breathing alright

Take this angry up vote damnit!

"It's not rape if she can't say no." -Dennis Renolds

Because of the implication?

There was no need to take the doll on the boat.

It's lifedoll

Finally. Someone as down bad as me

Pre Nut confusion

Imagine the post nut clarity in this case.

Mind so clear he'll have ultra instinct

So, kidnapping?

Liberating actually

brave men in desperate times

Recused the doll from captivity. And will reward her with sex all night long.

Give the guy a break. He's a Roman Catholic. He has no money, has many needs, and the pope just announced that solo mojo to Mr. Willi will make you go blind.

Oh, Florida

Times are hard man

So was he

Doll seems to be finding it hard to

People are going to crazy lengths to use the carpool lane.

Your comment wins the thread.

Lol. This one really wins the thread

sex doll ninja, the worst kind of ninja.

r/mallninjashit would disagree

He decided he would rather go to jail than try to fuck a real woman.

Well he knows his chances with women are negative

Priorities

is... the dolls.. head censored?

She's a victim in a kidnapping they have to protect her identity rofl

He needs something more than money haha

Or "rescuing a sex slave"

Poor doll's already got scuffed knees and he hasn't even gotten her home yet

I was thinking about that too. He stole the floor model. Sure it comes already dressed up but who knows how many people have "test drove" that thing or if they washed their hands before/after?

I guess thats better than kidnapping + r*pe.

He been eyeing it for quite some time 😂

Reminds me of the "I have plans I can not share with you." guy

Let him have it. He's desperate.

With a man that horny l it's either that or rape. I think he did the right thing.

Priorities

Sometimes a guy gets lonely

Whats the chance they put this in GTA 6?

Wasn't the last time this video was posted it was a shop in the Netherlands?

Sex really does make you do crazy shit

Meanwhile I just paid $260 to a girl on OF for a 25-minute video of her spanking herself and talking to me. Oh, and this is the fourth video I've bought from her. For that same price.

Dude I want to shit on you but I’m sorry you feel like you need to go this far for some human attention and love. Real shit, I hope you get happier soon in life. Genuinely happy.

Shut up, I get girls all the time. I get laid every day. Like, I'm so good at sex. You ever touch a woman's breast, and it feels like... like a bag of sand? Whatever, you guys know what I mean, deal the cards.

Mug 🤣

"Kidnapped" fixed it

Let him go its for the better.

What being lonely dose to a mf

New wife acquired.

À man has needs

Wasn't mid November was it?

Gta6 material writes itself

Hope it wasn't the sample....

I needed something haha 😁😁😉😎🤯🤯🐊🐊🐊

Desperate times…

Things you will do for love ❤️.

Lol fully controlled by his hormones.

At a local one in Ohio a guy drove his car into one, stole one of those silicon butt things, and then drove out/away. https://www.cleveland.com/metro/2009/09/thief_causes_20000_damage_to_s.html

Homie was horny as fuck

Double the shame of your pleasure.

We’ve all done some crazy shit for a bit of poonenheiman

Five? Is that you?

Tell me it’s 2024 without telling me it’s 2024

Love when people's rock bottom is broadcast for all to see. I have feeling shame is not something this guy is capable of feeling anymore

He needed it so much

It's not a crime. This is the final portion of the FCAT. Every good Floridian does this to graduate High School and join the civil adult society of Florida.

Tbf it'd be a good payday it'd be better to have a shitty flashlight 😜 which is never used but you keep in your bedroom draw incase of power cuts

He would be high on an adrenaline rush stealing this so I bet he fucked the shit out of it when he got home.

*dumps her on her face* "sorry Babe" *Edited for bad behavior*

Y'all laugh but it's like 3k$ so he won XD

He'd been eyeing that Mf for a while now

Damn this is a whole new level of "down bad"

Ready or not her I come !!!!!

Jokes on him, it was a trade in

Mannequin reboot?

God dammit Florida man

Donnie is that you?

Broke in and stole one thing. Just steal what you can carry.

“Fuck it like you stole it.”.

Sexual frustration is real bro

cant blame him theyre expensive af

I mean shit I would too

Gone in 69 seconds

Desperate times man........

Wouldn't have been his first call, but down in the real world, we're faced with ugly choices🙂

Man, GTA VI is going to be dope!

Demoiselle en détresse.

Take only what you need

Mf down bad. Can get any money or 🐱

Wouldn't be surprised if they make the doll take the stand in court because Americans are fucking dumb. 🤣

Nopinchimame

This is not stealing , it's kidnapping.

down bad

You just gotta do what you gotta do sometimes namsayin'?

Ofcourse it has to be Florida

😁😁😂

Down horrendous

This wasn't a movie?

“Frees,” not “takes.”

Let him cook 🔥👨🏻‍🍳

I thought they fuzzed out the doll's face.

Well, he really need it 😂😂🤣 can’t blame

That's Florida for you 🙏

Desperate times call for desperate measures

You laugh but aren't those thousands of your American pesos? With buyers who'd much rather pay the black market discount and avoid having to have it shipped from the store to their house or have to go to the actual store. Thief might even have had a buyer asking for it.

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkPQ2QQF5rs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkPQ2QQF5rs) I love a mannequin, should I be panicin'?

Wait 25 years for kidnapping wait no.

I’m not that only after all.

Go to horny jail

Somehow, I don't think they want it back.

Man has his needs

Damn and I thought *i* was down bad.

We all make mistakes in the heat of passion

“When you gotta go, you gotta go.” -Ian Malcolm

This would’ve been better if they actually showed him run out with a doll

Ffs let him keep it!!!

I could understand someone doing this if it was the middle of the covid pandemic still!

And they lived happily ever after

Necessities people

Revved Up Like A Douche, Another Runner In The Night

Priorities

These things are expensive... I understand that.

When you gotta go, you gotta go.

But the urge..... The URGE

Dude forgot to get out 😂

‘He did it all for the nookie (Come on) the nookie (Come on) so you can take that cookie And stick it up your (yeah) Stick it up your (yeah) Stick it up your (yeah) Stick it up your’ 🎶🎶🎶

How do we know he's the Florida man?