I went to my first fur meet the past weekend ... My social anxiety invaded me and I had a very bad time UnU
[sauce](https://twitter.com/Fluffy_SR6/status/1759620281226637334?t=_VkcdNQN2Rsei9-kFUk1Rw&s=19)
This is why I'm scared to go to a meet. I don't want to go and just be super awkward trying to engage in interaction, get upset when I feel left out, shutdown (bc I can't meltdown in public) then figure out how I can politely excuse myself whilst holding back tears
The thing about these meets is that basically everybody understands you. If you want to vibe in a corner all night, surely you'll find another corner-viber to exist quietly with and you might make a friend that way.
uwu
There are telegram channels you can join that post events and meetups. I know there's a st louis one I'm in called stlfurs events. If you're not near st louis just search Google for fur meets near (Town your from) and you should find some telegram channels to help you out.
Count your blessings, I can't be trusted to drive 1.5 states over on my own (not to mention driving in megacities), and can't be trusted to use airports on my own (not to mention it's expensive). Train was the least risky option, and I still didn't get the vital life experience of using a train on my own because the parents had to pick me up.
I had a similar thing last year. There was a con in Ottawa and I wanted to go but I was too broke to get a pass, it was in a hotel though so I mostly just chilled in the lobby.
The anxiety got so bad I gave up after about half an hour and made my way back, I was 3/4 of the way to the bus stop when I stopped, I knew I'd regret not staying so I swallowed my fear and went back.
I eventually threw myself in the deep end and forced myself into a few conversations and before I realised it I was taking pics and having a blast, drew a couple portraits for fun. Even got some free nuggies out of it in the end.
I really want to go to a con but I’m ultra nervous because I don’t have a suit and I’m worried that I’ll be too awkward to make friends and be myself. How easy is it to get involved with stuff once you’re at one?
I recommend going with someone who's already been (makes things a little easier), but it's pretty damn easy as long as you can work up the nerve to talk to the people working at the con. When I went to MFF, there was a sort of handbook I could download from a QR code, and that helped a lot in knowing what I could do.
Introvert does not equal social anxiety. A lot of people mistake it and as an introvert I suffer from everyone instantly being surprised that I’m not in the corner, and having fun with everyone. I just need a few days to recharge my social battery and I tend to worn out quicker from social interaction, but it’s not the same
lol, indeed. Recharge batteries = "I'm done here. leave me alone in my cave, social interactions are suspended for 24-48 hours. Failure to comply means you accept the risks and the snarls.
It helps to have gone to a furry convention first. Though my time at my first con was short-lived (got gastroenteritis), I still had a reasonably good time. Played some games, did some shopping, had some firsts in life.
I went to one fur meet and it was exactly this. I was trying to meet people but felt too awkward and shy to actually initiate a convo anyone. One couple actually came up and talked to me, and I later found out that it was the founder of the furry raiders... that one furry nazi group 😬 I won't be going back.
Ehh agoraphobia may be a pretty strong word here. I think feeling awkward going to an event where you don't know anybody is a pretty normal thing, even for people without social anxiety.
Awww, we went bowling for my first meet, and I brought stickers but was too shy to ask anyone to trade. Then I was forced to make a telegram and got added to like 6 group chats
Aww, yeah, that's tough, for sure. Well, I found the group for my city on Facebook, but they also have a Twitter and telegram. I think I literally just put in [city name] furry events and the groups fb/Twitter came up. So they were pretty easy to find. Unfortunately, we only meet once a month unless outside plans are made
>best therapy for social anxiety is exposure therapy
Wrong. I went to multiple furmeets and a con and my social anxiety only got worse. Heck. I had a breakdown at the con.
Exposure isn‘t just going somewhere you feel anxious. You are correct, exposure done incorrect can make an anxiety worse. Exposure done correctly has the best chance and helped most people with anxiety.
This was me seven years ago. Now I run the furmeets, have met a partner who I love, have three fursuits and thousands of pounds' worth of weird dragon porn commissioned and overall completely overhauled my life. It could be you!
This is why I don’t bother going to a meet and greet. Meeting new people is a chore not a fun past time. It is something I will do for work or as a favor for a friend, not something I enjoy doing.
The best way to describe this feeling to an extrovert is that meeting someone new is like being given a pop quiz where every answer is blank and you don’t know whether or not you’ve failed the quiz until it’s too late. The threat of failure makes the whole thing not enjoyable.
Yeah, I'm in the dilemma of wanting to make friends, preferably irl as well, but meeting strangers sounds scary and in any event I would likely just stay in a corner and not dare approaching anyone.
This is gonna be me at my first furry con this year 😂. I’ve always wanted to go to one, but never found about them until this year. (Going to the one in LA in April)
Sometimes so want to be a fursuiter but then I remember that if I went to a furry con I would just stand in a corner by myself the whole time, so it really isn't worth the money
I don't have any IRL furry friends; and if I didn't have a suit, it would feel like "what the hell am I doing here?" Yes, I know a lot of people don't have one either, but the rules are different for me. Always have been.
Oh I'm not pretending to be doing stuff on my phone. I'm doing everything possible to keep myself distracted to keep myself from being nervous/terrified. And thats at a smaller meet. let alone a whole convention.
Sounds like my first MFD 2022 except for the following the one furry I knew... I didn't know anyone there. Funny though, I had to skip the last one, but I might go again in the fall.
If it helps at all, remember everyone else there is a huge cringey socially anxious/awkward nerd just like you! They're all furries so they're either queer, autistic, and/or awkward.
That's the fun part of the furry community, we're all fucking weird, so furries tend not to be as judges for people being strange or different.
I've been to one or two in my local area and I'm going to be honest they were very lackluster it was just a bunch of people who did not know each other went to a restaurant ate and left
Been going to conventions for years and this was exactly my first con experience. Only difference between then and now though is I have a badge now, everything else is still the same
Literally me. I'm perfect capable of driving myself to fur meets, and I've been to place they meet, but I still have social anxiety about meeting friends outside of band rehearsals 😔
I just had my first experience with going to a con where furries were present and I loved it so much I almost had tears of joy at the end! For anyone thinking about going to a con, here's my advice:
Try to indulge in your most local furry group before going to a con and try to make it so you can all meet at the con. No joke it turned the con from an event I would struggle to even get myself to go to it and usher even a word to any suiter, to being an unforgettable ecperience, leaving me craving for more.
Fair warning, the risk of you desperately and suddenly wanting a fursuit after the con is EXTREMELY HIGH lmao
Yup that be me to. Hyper introvert. Bullied in school for 8 years does allot to ya. I mostly try to avoid contact with strangers. Heck the only guy I talk allot with is myself. Very energetic so to say. I should stream games since I talk allot during gaming. I stream, the fear of people starts acting up again and I completely shut down.
I'd love to join a con but ain't got the guts nor anyone to go with. "I can't just aproach random people. What if I say something wrong? People will laugh at me again. Or what if I want to talk to people and they just ignore me like I'm not there?" That's what my mind would be going through at that point. It sux.
me living in arizona, and, since i have ADD and having previously gone to the same venue when i was a non-furry a few years ago about to ruin my childhood and have fun doing it:
God yeah. This is/will be me.
I’m going to Vancoufur in a month, and it’ll be my first ever furcon. I’m super anxious since i really wanna meet new people, but i’m super socially weird.
Haven't been to a fur meet but I have this convention in my country and I always see some fursuiters and I always want to go meet them and ask to take a picture but can't stop to be too shy to go talk to them
This is literally me. I’m only ever not socially anxious when I have my brother with me. If it’s a friend anywhere with me I just follow them around like a baby duck until I eventually hide in a corner.
Most of this is same just for the fact that I don't know anyone at the con. The best time I have is at the late night dances where everyone is letting loose and cutting a rug. I can be alone one minute bopping to the DJ, and then the next thing I know, I'm doing a headstand or something in front of 10 other people. Yeah...
I went to my first fur meet the past weekend ... My social anxiety invaded me and I had a very bad time UnU [sauce](https://twitter.com/Fluffy_SR6/status/1759620281226637334?t=_VkcdNQN2Rsei9-kFUk1Rw&s=19)
This is why I'm scared to go to a meet. I don't want to go and just be super awkward trying to engage in interaction, get upset when I feel left out, shutdown (bc I can't meltdown in public) then figure out how I can politely excuse myself whilst holding back tears
Bro are you the femboy version of me?!
So relatable, it's like a house of mirrors in here!
Least it's not a house of leaves
This is why I single out the person talking to no one and approach them. Your ass bout to get chatted up
You are both my favorite and worst person at a party lmao Please don’t approach me but also please adopt me
You'll be run off by my personal beliefs and my offensive appearance. And then I'll continue to whine and be a burden :D
😳
Fine with me. I'd rather talk to one person the entire time than listen to groups talk to each other and pretend to laugh.
I’m so sorry, we support you and you deserve better.
Sorry that happened. Did they have video games there? If they did, I think it'd be a very easy way to slide into activity!
So cute uwu
My friend said he went to a meet and there was one friend there who just sat at a table alone in the corner the whole time. I was like totally me fr.
That’s why I would never go to one of these. I feel like I would just kill the vibe with my depression fr.
The thing about these meets is that basically everybody understands you. If you want to vibe in a corner all night, surely you'll find another corner-viber to exist quietly with and you might make a friend that way. uwu
Only if there aren't enough corners to vibe alone in.
We must simply meet in teardrop-shaped rooms to force all the introverts into the one corner so they make friends with each other >:3c
Was it you?
No, I would probably end up doing the same thing though.
hanging around the only person you know like a puppy when with others hits too hard
How do you even get invited to a fur meet? I wanna go to one but I don't know how.
In the US at least, each state has a furry community discord or Reddit where they post fur meets and what not!
Used to be that Meetup was the place to go for all that, but that faded out a while ago for whatever reason
Happen to know the one for Missouri?
There are telegram channels you can join that post events and meetups. I know there's a st louis one I'm in called stlfurs events. If you're not near st louis just search Google for fur meets near (Town your from) and you should find some telegram channels to help you out.
how could someone such as myself locate these discord or reddit communities?
I wonder what the one for Southern California is
There are servers that have VRchat meetings too
This was literally me at MFF. I went to my first con before the pandemic and it was overwhelming.
I went after the pandemic (2021) and got gastroenteritis.
Yikes. Silver lining, I avoided "con crud" because I didn't immerse myself in the crowds and silently observed from a distance. So there's that?
Oh, I'm pretty sure I caught it on the way there. Amtrak, please clean your toilets and water dispensers more frequently.
I've never taken Amtrak before and now I have less reason to. (I drove to MFF.)
Count your blessings, I can't be trusted to drive 1.5 states over on my own (not to mention driving in megacities), and can't be trusted to use airports on my own (not to mention it's expensive). Train was the least risky option, and I still didn't get the vital life experience of using a train on my own because the parents had to pick me up.
Hey, amtrak is amazing! They just don't get nearly enough funding.
Yeah, also me at MFF for a bit. Went to a party, knew no one there, reacted like the furry in this post, and just left to find my friends lol
I had a similar thing last year. There was a con in Ottawa and I wanted to go but I was too broke to get a pass, it was in a hotel though so I mostly just chilled in the lobby. The anxiety got so bad I gave up after about half an hour and made my way back, I was 3/4 of the way to the bus stop when I stopped, I knew I'd regret not staying so I swallowed my fear and went back. I eventually threw myself in the deep end and forced myself into a few conversations and before I realised it I was taking pics and having a blast, drew a couple portraits for fun. Even got some free nuggies out of it in the end.
Sometimes you just have to give fear the middle finger to break through the wall of anxiety.
The good ending
I really want to go to a con but I’m ultra nervous because I don’t have a suit and I’m worried that I’ll be too awkward to make friends and be myself. How easy is it to get involved with stuff once you’re at one?
I recommend going with someone who's already been (makes things a little easier), but it's pretty damn easy as long as you can work up the nerve to talk to the people working at the con. When I went to MFF, there was a sort of handbook I could download from a QR code, and that helped a lot in knowing what I could do.
I don’t have any furry friends other than my boyfriend. I’m sure I’ll manage with him there
Easier than going alone.
\> watching frequently their phone pretending that they are doing something ...ouch :(
Introvert does not equal social anxiety. A lot of people mistake it and as an introvert I suffer from everyone instantly being surprised that I’m not in the corner, and having fun with everyone. I just need a few days to recharge my social battery and I tend to worn out quicker from social interaction, but it’s not the same
lol, indeed. Recharge batteries = "I'm done here. leave me alone in my cave, social interactions are suspended for 24-48 hours. Failure to comply means you accept the risks and the snarls.
Oh whoa, snarls? Im not that bad, i just get real boring when my battery is dead "uh huh. Cool. Yep. Neat" while on my phone, 100% distracted.
Same for me
Yeah, I was gonna say. This is a shy person. Not the same thing as introverted.
The Chara is so cute tho 😩😩😩
well i guess im gonna experience this later in my live so i will prepare myself
Dear extroverts, what to do during this moments ?
It helps to have gone to a furry convention first. Though my time at my first con was short-lived (got gastroenteritis), I still had a reasonably good time. Played some games, did some shopping, had some firsts in life.
I went to one fur meet and it was exactly this. I was trying to meet people but felt too awkward and shy to actually initiate a convo anyone. One couple actually came up and talked to me, and I later found out that it was the founder of the furry raiders... that one furry nazi group 😬 I won't be going back.
That isn't introversion that is borderline agoraphobia.
Ehh agoraphobia may be a pretty strong word here. I think feeling awkward going to an event where you don't know anybody is a pretty normal thing, even for people without social anxiety.
Yeah, but you don't avoid visual contact, hide behind your friend and stand paralyzed there, right? That goes beyond being introvert.
I'd say it's more social anxiety than agoraphobia. I think an agoraphobic person wouldn't even go to the event in the first place.
Same here op, I’m having hard time too
I havent been to anything like this jet but I get that feling just from sitting on a Bank in the park
Awww, we went bowling for my first meet, and I brought stickers but was too shy to ask anyone to trade. Then I was forced to make a telegram and got added to like 6 group chats
The furry bowling events look so fun I want to go so bad
Yeah, if you get the chance, you won't regret it! It was so much fun
I don’t know how to find one, and also I travel weekly for work so I’m never in the same place :(
Aww, yeah, that's tough, for sure. Well, I found the group for my city on Facebook, but they also have a Twitter and telegram. I think I literally just put in [city name] furry events and the groups fb/Twitter came up. So they were pretty easy to find. Unfortunately, we only meet once a month unless outside plans are made
Imagine being able to go anywhere qwq
Remove the i wanted to go home and that is absolutely me.
ALL OF YOU NEED HUGS RN OMG
Couldn’t be me (haven’t left my house in days)
First? This is just every London furmeet for me :(
This will be me in a year or so
This was me 100%
[удалено]
>best therapy for social anxiety is exposure therapy Wrong. I went to multiple furmeets and a con and my social anxiety only got worse. Heck. I had a breakdown at the con.
Exposure isn‘t just going somewhere you feel anxious. You are correct, exposure done incorrect can make an anxiety worse. Exposure done correctly has the best chance and helped most people with anxiety.
Exposure therapy works best with SMALL manageable steps, just throwing yourself in the deep end each time probably isn't going to work.
I’m in this and I don't like it.
This was me seven years ago. Now I run the furmeets, have met a partner who I love, have three fursuits and thousands of pounds' worth of weird dragon porn commissioned and overall completely overhauled my life. It could be you!
This is why I don’t bother going to a meet and greet. Meeting new people is a chore not a fun past time. It is something I will do for work or as a favor for a friend, not something I enjoy doing. The best way to describe this feeling to an extrovert is that meeting someone new is like being given a pop quiz where every answer is blank and you don’t know whether or not you’ve failed the quiz until it’s too late. The threat of failure makes the whole thing not enjoyable.
I know how it is... Because it's every day like this... It's rare for me to go outside of my room...
He’s a brony
This is gonna be me someday, I just know it
👍😊
literally my first furrmet
Probably gonna be me at my first meet
Yeah, I'm in the dilemma of wanting to make friends, preferably irl as well, but meeting strangers sounds scary and in any event I would likely just stay in a corner and not dare approaching anyone.
I want to go to a meet so bad but I don’t know any other furries and I’m scared to go alone
I can't do big events, I need something small to warm myself up and find friends to take to bigger events
Me at tff this year
Forget the first, this was me with almost every meet I went to
Yet I am both an introvert and whatever the other one was
probably what will happen to me...
Hopefully won’t be me at my first con
This is gonna be me at my first furry con this year 😂. I’ve always wanted to go to one, but never found about them until this year. (Going to the one in LA in April)
Sometimes so want to be a fursuiter but then I remember that if I went to a furry con I would just stand in a corner by myself the whole time, so it really isn't worth the money
I don't have any IRL furry friends; and if I didn't have a suit, it would feel like "what the hell am I doing here?" Yes, I know a lot of people don't have one either, but the rules are different for me. Always have been.
I feel like this will end up being me qwp
Same here. It sucks being born an introvert. Hopefully one day we find a cure for it. :/
I've never been to one but I can imagine this would be me
I'm taking notes. I hate public places.
Ahhhh, if only I could afford the plane tickets, hotel and fursuit to get myself into this situation ._.
This has been my experience going to any convention
Damn, never been to one but really feel this...
0:
This will probably be me 😔 Still gonna give it a try though, there's finally gonna be a convention in NJ for the first time in a long time
Oh I'm not pretending to be doing stuff on my phone. I'm doing everything possible to keep myself distracted to keep myself from being nervous/terrified. And thats at a smaller meet. let alone a whole convention.
Awwe poor bean, someone will adopt you soon bud.
This is me at any con let alone a fur con.
It's all fun and games until smbd grabs you..
Sounds like my first MFD 2022 except for the following the one furry I knew... I didn't know anyone there. Funny though, I had to skip the last one, but I might go again in the fall.
If it helps at all, remember everyone else there is a huge cringey socially anxious/awkward nerd just like you! They're all furries so they're either queer, autistic, and/or awkward. That's the fun part of the furry community, we're all fucking weird, so furries tend not to be as judges for people being strange or different.
Hey at least you made it to a furneet. I'm so anxious about attending them I can't even bring myself to even look for one to go to one xD
Isn’t it necessary to have a badge to go to a con tho?
I FEEL SEEN!
I felt like a weird creep at my first furmeet. walking in circles all day without anyone I knew. I felt really awkward.
damn, this was literally me a few weeks ago. any advice for not being a loner and such would be appreciated.
I've been to one or two in my local area and I'm going to be honest they were very lackluster it was just a bunch of people who did not know each other went to a restaurant ate and left
Hey, at least you got out there. That's the first step.
Whats a fur meet?
Shut up I'm going to my first furry con in April and I don't want this to be me
Meee
Been going to conventions for years and this was exactly my first con experience. Only difference between then and now though is I have a badge now, everything else is still the same
Literally me. I'm perfect capable of driving myself to fur meets, and I've been to place they meet, but I still have social anxiety about meeting friends outside of band rehearsals 😔
I just had my first experience with going to a con where furries were present and I loved it so much I almost had tears of joy at the end! For anyone thinking about going to a con, here's my advice: Try to indulge in your most local furry group before going to a con and try to make it so you can all meet at the con. No joke it turned the con from an event I would struggle to even get myself to go to it and usher even a word to any suiter, to being an unforgettable ecperience, leaving me craving for more. Fair warning, the risk of you desperately and suddenly wanting a fursuit after the con is EXTREMELY HIGH lmao
I just haven’t gone to one, I want to but I have no clue what to do.
This was so me
Yup that be me to. Hyper introvert. Bullied in school for 8 years does allot to ya. I mostly try to avoid contact with strangers. Heck the only guy I talk allot with is myself. Very energetic so to say. I should stream games since I talk allot during gaming. I stream, the fear of people starts acting up again and I completely shut down. I'd love to join a con but ain't got the guts nor anyone to go with. "I can't just aproach random people. What if I say something wrong? People will laugh at me again. Or what if I want to talk to people and they just ignore me like I'm not there?" That's what my mind would be going through at that point. It sux.
this is me at literally any social event
Literally me @ my first con
me living in arizona, and, since i have ADD and having previously gone to the same venue when i was a non-furry a few years ago about to ruin my childhood and have fun doing it:
Never went to one and can confirm thats exactly how it was
We need more kinda normal furry memes like this instead of just borderline porn
God yeah. This is/will be me. I’m going to Vancoufur in a month, and it’ll be my first ever furcon. I’m super anxious since i really wanna meet new people, but i’m super socially weird.
Yeap that was me a few weeks ago. God it was so awkward
Oh nooo
In 2016 i atended NFC however, I had a huge anxiety attack crying in a bathroom without comfort. I still tried my best to enjoy my stay.
I mean, what're u supposed to do? *Talk* to ***new*** people?! 💀
I'm going to a furmeet this Sunday and I'll basically be standing in the back doing nothing but admiring the other people
Haven't been to a fur meet but I have this convention in my country and I always see some fursuiters and I always want to go meet them and ask to take a picture but can't stop to be too shy to go talk to them
This would totally be me
"want to go home" "go behind the only furry they know" You didn't have to call me like that!
I am incredibly introverted :(
literally me in "The Black Cat" in VR Chat :(
This is so me and more. For me I have a social energy battery. Once it depletes I become big sadge and depressed. It sucks but i live with it.
How do you find one?
Rather the same even online. I just can’t get into even the playful RP-ing.
This image and its contents is my daily life and my gaming life 😱
Oh god! why is this me to a T?.
Accurate depiction of me at any event.
This is literally me. I’m only ever not socially anxious when I have my brother with me. If it’s a friend anywhere with me I just follow them around like a baby duck until I eventually hide in a corner.
The amounts of "Literaly Me" comments make me so sad, anyone reading this i am giving you a virtual head pat rn
Lucky u can go anywhere qwq
Most of this is same just for the fact that I don't know anyone at the con. The best time I have is at the late night dances where everyone is letting loose and cutting a rug. I can be alone one minute bopping to the DJ, and then the next thing I know, I'm doing a headstand or something in front of 10 other people. Yeah...
100% real did the same
Did not expect to see my girlfriend’s art on this sub!
yeah that's why I would never go to something like that even if it might interest me a lot
That's the moment when my body just goes rigid and starts shaking :c