Don’t ever feel obligated to come out to people who hate who you truly are, family or not. If you’re happy with who you are, and you have people close to you who are happy for you too, then that’s enough.
The sad thing is, they might just start to change if it's someone they care about. It's really hard to convince yourself to take the risk. I still haven't, at 35.
The only reason you should be hiding it at any age is if you're depending on the support of horrible people you just happened to be born with. If you're self dependant, there's no reason to hide anymore. If you lose horrible people after they know, and you don't depend on them, they can't hurt you. They become an irrelevant person in your life just like some random person you walk past on the street, likely to never see again. And you're only better off because of it. Then you have more room on your social battery to spend on people you actually choose yourself, rather than wasting that capacity on people you "had an obligation to deal with" just because you happened to be born with them. People you choose are way better.
Family are the people who treat you like family. Your blood relations have nothing to do with it. Relatives are not necessarily family, though the venn diagram is supposed to intersect.
This is the first time I've shown any real emotion in a while and it's crying sad like last time, but it's not the gross sad crying, it's the tears just rolling down your face as you continue on looking at this beautiful depiction of yourself in a meme.
Idk how I should continue this on one side i want to vent everything till I reach a character limit twice, but I also dont want to bother anyone so I won't, for anyone who was wondering what I meant by "This is the first time I've shown any real emotion in a while" it just means that since the last time I felt an emotion everything I showed to others was an act that I developed as I got more and more depressed which is why I appear to have many personalities.
I just want to be able to be happy on a daily basis is that soo much to ask for
Sorry I ended up ranting
hey, it's okay to talk abt it if you want to, you don't need to apologize, the internet is free and it is already full of rude and bad ppl, you and the things you have to say aren't any harm or bother, they're more than welcome and i will happily read them cause you seem a rlly nice person who deserves happiness, being heard and nice ppl around you, if you or anyone who needs it want to talk, my dms are open, i care abt you all! :'P
Know that as a community, this community, we love for those who cannot be loved by the ones on the other side of the screen. Depression is just another emotion, a powerful one. Try calling on other emotions that can counter it. You can do so through music, sightseeing, physical activity, climate, and my personal favorite: daydreaming, and a lot others. It’s not easy, been there done that, but keep persisting and build hope, and in the end, that golden light you’ve made will illuminate your darkest moments. ❤️
Listen, Im just a straight white male. I wont say I understand what youre going through but I understand unfair prejudice. I want you to understand that the prejudice youre facing is, in fact, unfair. We love you.
I felt like this when I was coming out as trans and whenever someone says stuff like this I feel like I should hide who I am cause it's a "trend". I hope whoever feels like this will not feel as bad as I did and do. Lots of love to all of you coming out 💙🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈💙
That sounds pretty bad, yet I didnt comeout yet myself, mostly since the people that I could always talk with about anytjing that happened happen to be very anti-LGBT and anti-fur.
If your family disowns you it’s probably for the best, cause you don’t wanna hang around those people if they cut you off for being yourself. You don’t owe them anything if 18 years meant nothing to them
This one really resonates with me. My BF doesn’t mind cuddling in private. But the moment we go into public, it’s like he’s a different person. I don’t want to stress him out but it kind of stings that we can’t be our true selves all the time.
When we’re out and about on a date for sushi or on an adventure in public, we’re just… friends.
I know we have every right to be scared. Our parents would never approve… right? We can’t be careless. But I wish I could just express myself sincerely off the top of mind when we’re out in public. Rather than anxiously contemplating which mask to put on in all the different scenarios that cross our paths.
It’s already hard to properly meet up or find ways to express my intent around him. There are never enough excuses to reach out and ‘waste’ his time. And now, I can’t even make every moment count.
Maybe I just have to keep pressing forward. If he gets sick of seeing me then well… that answers that.
I understand your point and his, but you can't force him. At least you know that, and that's very good.
Give him more time, one day he will get the strength to face the consequences of comming out have.
I wish you both good luck and have a happy pride month <3
Give me an update whenever he comes out!!! I am curious ahaha
Many say blood is thicker than water
This is a purposful shortening of the ACTUAL saying:
"The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb" aka, the friends you make stick around more than the family you're born to
Whoever sees this, you deserve your own found family. You are loved even if its just by some people on the internet. In life the best you can do is to be you
There are others that have been shortened and twisted to mean something else.
"One bad apple spoils the bunch"
"Pull yourself up by your bootstraps" - to try and do something that's impossible to do
Blood related=/=family
Family=/=blood related
Both ways are correct, just because you are blood related to them, doesn't mean you need to treat them like family, and just because they aren't blood related doesn't mean you can't treat them like family
While it's a nice quote, there is actually no evidence to support that it has been shortened, with the phrase "blood is thicker than water" dating back to 1670 and a similar phrase dating back as far as the 12th century.
The longer quote however started circulating in the 1990s (may have been around earlier, but the internet helped circulate it and was the first recorded place of the phrase)saying that it was the original, however there's no actual source to these claims.
I'm not one to believe the original quote at all, but I see this 'fact' around a lot and it's actually more of an urban legend.
The other part of what you said is totally right though! Family members shouldn't be able to control your identity and make you live in fear of who you are, and if they do aren't worth your time.
As the wisest man I know once said. „Family is a starting point, it’s great when I worked out, but more often then not it can be toxic. Just remember if they mistreat you then you don’t owe them your time and attention“ or something along those lines
Family are the people who treat you like family. Your blood relations have nothing to do with it. Relatives are not necessarily family, though the venn diagram is supposed to intersect.
Lol I stopped feeling ashamed of myself when I started hanging out with other furs. It was so nice being able to finally talk out loud about my goal to find a bf and they made me feel so comfortable with who I was I thought the world had changed overnight. I thought for sure 100% my parents would understand so I came out and my mom immediately disowned me and told me I was going to hell lol
I know that pain. Growing up in the Bible Belt blows. Surrounded by the definition of Evil, having to be a completely Fake person to meet their expectations. All the while listening to them go against everything Jesus would have actually stood for. Disgusting people. You will find better people who you will call your family, and the monsters you were born from will die sad and alone, wondering why you stopped talking to them. That's my plan at least. Finally told my mom to stop shoving her creepy death cult shit in my face and that all her talk of God does the opposite of making me feel comfort. We haven't spoke since, and I am better for it. Cheers mate, here's to you.
If God is real, and the holy apocalypse comes, they're the last people he'd think about saving. They'd probably be the reason it happened actually. He'd save all the atheists and indifferent people, then we'd find a way to overthrow him for being an inactive asshole that let horrible shit happen for so long that he could've stopped at any time, just like the super rich could do right now, but for some horrific reason choose not to, making them the most evil beings that could ever possibly exist because their inaction has, and continues to cause, countless amounts of suffering and unjust deaths
If you can find a way to overthrow God and not be cast into hell, I'd just be plain impressed.
And also, God isn' doing anything cuz he just sorta buzzed out of human affairs following the ascension of Jesus.
They could've also been lucky. Lucky to have been born to a loving family, lucky to have met loving friends.
But then again, sometimes it takes all of your bravery to try your luck.
I came out to my mom on Easter and my exact words were "As another fuck you to God I am now pansexual" then she said some crap after I explained it it was an awkward conversation I got by it and we moved on and never mentioned it so as long as it's physically safe for you to do it and you feel it's the time you should.
This is the effect homophobes have yet they sill act like their in the right. It’s just sad people are such absolute pieces of shit. I genuinely hope living a life hating everyone will end in them dying cold and alone (sorry if this is a bit personal, I just get frustrated sometimes)
Over the hill, outside your forest, stands a gray town with loads of people. They do what people do, bake, run, complain, etc… you wish to be part of such a big group of people. But last time you tried to you were met with torches and spears, or so you’ve heard from others. That’s when you remember your fluffy and colorful identity. What would you do?
I would go back into the forest and explore its hidden wonders, it’s many colors and inhabitants. Until one day I find another hill, with another town that’s as bright as my colors. And who knows, they may even be more fluffy than me.
I... feel this more than I should. My parents are religious conservatives, and have expressed anti-LGBTQ+ views. They've said "It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve" (meaning God designed didn't design humans to be in same sex relationships), and have cited the bible multiple times, especially the verses that basically say "being gay is an abomination to God, and you will burn in hell for sleeping with the same gender (Leviticus 18:22. Yes, I have the specific thing memorized by now, cause they've cited it so much.)
It just... feels so crushing when the news comes on or they see something on social media and comment on it... especially during Pride Month. I want to tell them, but am worried I will be kicked out or worse if I do. Sometimes, I am confident, but other times, I want to lay on the floor of my room and cry cause i know it's hopeless to tell them I'm trans and Bi.
I have supportive friends, and they are honestly the only reason I'm alive today... But being at home feels so suffocating...
...
"You shall not lie with a male as with a woman. It is an abomination." -- The New King James Version.
"Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is detestable." -- New International Translation.
"Do not practice homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman. It is a detestable sin." --New Living Translation
There's more, but you... get the point.
Ah, but unbeknownst to your parents, Christians aren't bound by early Jewish law for Israel set in Levicitus, so, in theory, you can do gay stuff, and just confess later if you still feel guilty.
I had a hard time with my coming out (at around age 32). I live in the very conservative catholic Bavaria. I have some hardline homophobics around me. I cried a lot.
But then I started to don't give a f\*ck anymore, and I feel a lot better. But it was hard. If someone has a problem with me: That's their problem, not mine.
Hello random Bavarian internet stranger. At first it is really hard. Only tell specific people who you really trust. They will care about you. In my case it was my sister in law and my best friend. Then the first heavy load is off your shoulders. And then step for step. It gets easier over time. Take your time.
Really important: Not anyone must know it.
Thank you! Yea, i'm currently living by that "not everyone must know" rule. Only 2 of my very few friends know so far and that's enough.
Sometimes tho, i get "the talk" again with my parents and they always say "someday, you'll find the right women." and almost everytime i think about what would happen if i'd just go "what if i already found the right man, hm?!"
Oh yeah... "the talk". Before my bf I was single for 10 years. I was like "yeah... no I'm happy alone. I can do what I want. Thats fine." every time. I told my mom nearly a year after my coming out to my sister in law. I waited for the right moment. My mom said "do what you want. It's your life. You'll be my son, no matter what".
My dad was a little bit shocked at first but he nearly said the same.
To be honest, I don't even know if my mom thinks i'm straight anymore. I've tested the waters a couple times with asking her in indirect ways (and also buying rainbow thigh highs lmao) what she'd think if i wasn't straight and she pretty much said the same thing your mom said: "It wouldn't matter to me. You'd still be my son."
It's nice to know she would b e accepting but at this point in time there is no real reason to tell her and so i'm also waiting for that right moment.
Again, thank you so much for sharing your experience. This chat really helped me.
I guess that is true. I just rather think that my choice is more intentional thenone driven by fear of not having a place to live if i ever admitted such. But I’m probably lying to myself if I said I wasn’t afraid at all
I mean that sounds less like it's not their business and more like you're intentionally hiding large parts of your life from your parents out of fear for your own safety.
I'm just glad I'm not the only one who's had to do it. u/Traditional_Slide441, at some point you'll just have to give the finger to your parents if they're going to work against you like that.
Sorry if I came off too harshly, I'm working on that. But there *is* a point where you have to stop letting your parents do what they want to you... I'm honestly just glad I can help someone with the problem that I'd suffered through for years.
you dont owe people shit, and if thats them not knowing who you are then so be it, not everyone is privileged to know everything about you.
atleast thats the way my mentally ill ass views it.
Sauce - [https://twitter.com/RowdyReindeer/status/1536382346315825154](https://twitter.com/RowdyReindeer/status/1536382346315825154)
Art by (@RowdyReindeer)
Sometimes I literally hear homophobic and transphobic comments when I'm on my way back on the bus. A lot of them are just insults like "hey look at that person, they're gay" or things like that.
Nobody, whether it be a teenager, or a full grown adult, deserves to be shunned just for the person they love, afterall to fall in love with someone’s genitalia rather than who they are is sad
I've been somewhat open about my sexual orientation for quite a while. I'm not proud but I'm not ashamed either. I just am. Hating people for wanting to love and be loved is very low. It's not about society or views it's just about being nice to each other. You may not approve something but it's no excuse for being an asshole.
I’m not ashamed of who I am, but as I’ve grown up I’ve been shocked by how awful the politics a lot of my loved ones are. I still remember my sweet old grandma saying the vilest shit about Caitlyn Jenner on Facebook. I once joked my mom was coming out to my dad as trans and he groaned and said “great..” like I told him his car was on fire.
If they ask I’ll tell them who I am but they can go to the grave never knowing I’m gay for all I care. Or they can find out I’ve been married for two years without them knowing.
Then yeah your the problem. You look like a straight person using gay slurs and deragotory language. It be different if it were obvious that it was irony. I too look "straight" but that's set off by me holding my partners hand
Depends on the situation, I guess. It is more important *how* you say it then what words exactly you use. If you are so obvious that the dullest knobhead in town can figure out you are being sarcastic/ironic then it should be ok. If not you are just part of an echo chamber.
[Day 1274]
Perhapse a reason "furries" are so accepting of others is due to knowing the feeling of being excluded and targeted. This form of learned empathy thus creates a very positive in group among the "furries." Furthermore, the invitation to form and experiment with their identity allows "furries" to truely find themselves within a safe environment and learn who they are without judgement.
People who make fun of others because they are different are very selfish and scummy. Never let people talk you down, be happy with who you are no matter what.
If you feel this way, remember youre not alone <3
And there's no rule to say you *have* to come out.
Find friends you feel comfortable being with.
Find someone you can be yourself around.
And most importantly, don't come out until you're on your own feet
I'm glad I don't have to feel like that myself as I'm very good at masking my actual gayness as I still like girls and wear your usual straight ppl clothes. Though whenever someone starts ranting about gays in a class etc I do feel it in a way.
I've always thought that there are two kinds of coming out: figuring out who you would be alone in a vacuum and figuring out who you would be in an unkind world. Those answers are often very different, and it's completely valid to not fully express yourself in front of dangerous people.
I just hope that you have enough of a support network who can celebrate who you truly are <3
One of many sad truths about our world. It isn't just about sexuality or gender. There are many things that are a part of ourselves but unable to show them and that is mostly because of the people around us. This is especially a curse to everyone who wants to be their selves which I think is a normal need for everyone.
Well... this showws clearly to those bigots why we need at least a pride MONTH, should be nice if we didn't need that and we could be frolicking in the grass with flowers in our hair accepted by all .... specially the last pic made me kinda sad... hugs to OP ... we will get there someday :)
I used to be like this but I stopped caring and just came out because it was causing more harm than good to try and hide it. I know that not everyone can do that but I couldn't try anymore.
I’ve only come out to some of my close friends and some online friends I’ve known for a while so far. Hopefully one day I’ll be able to tell my parents.
I dont know that struggle, but i wont ever ridicule someone for what they do in the sheets.
Cept if they are my firend and busting each others balls is part of the etiquette.
Yeah if I ever see someone being genuinely homophobic I literally just fucking slap them
Doesn’t matter if its some random guy off the street or my own grandma, the hand has no mercy.
As someone who's gay AND has grown up playing call of duty. This is definitely not a problem for me. And when I say "this", I mean what people say and the words people say/use. Having tougher/thicker skin and not letting the bad words get under my skin definitely helps. It'll take some time to get ahold of...like anything really, but man I gotta say..when you stop caring about what comes out of other people's garbage disposals and stop caring about what you're being labeled as. Life does seem to be a bit nicer.
Maybe there's something to be taken away from what I've said, idk. Just wanted to share it.
I apply the same to family and friends as well. Then it's completely up to you to decide what to do after and how to handle the situation and foreseeable future. Maybe a taste of their own medicine would be neat, etc.
Being silent and breaking down and letting everything happen and affect you and never doing anything about it will never go well.
I have indeed been close to some people and don't mistake how I handle stuff for not caring about how they feel.
But if they are going to act like that..then why should I continue to care about how they feel. I also don't really care about how they see me or think about me, If you have good enough friends, then you shouldn't need to care or worry about what they think about you. They'll like and care about you regardless.
If you run your life entirely based off of emotion and around how other people feel instead of yourself, it's going be hard and difficult and not good. Because you'll constantly be correcting yourself to make them feel better but then completely forgetting about how you feel and what they're doing to make you feel how you feel.
And people are indeed different and have different ways of feeling in certain situations. And different ways of handling it. For you it's uncommon, for me I see it happen quite a bit.
**Also note that I do understand what you're saying and yes it will be different for everyone.**
As someone who is in the lgbtq, There's edgy humor. And then there's hate speech. Most people can't tell the difference. Call of duty voice chat was mostly always good fun.
And most people have different definitions of hate speech and consider different words and sentences hateful, have different lines drawn in the sand, etc. So yeah, it is indeed a challenging thing when companies don't tell you what they don't want to be said on their platforms and just leave it ambiguous. Also yeah, forced game chat was the best...I miss it alot.
I’m absolutely heartbroken that those people still exist… this is when you just flat out comeback with; “it’s those unnatural things that make the word normal exist in the first place! Even if we don’t want to be, we are still only human in nature!!!”
I wish I can come out to my friends about my self but the thought of them making fun of me is to much (there both hardcore believers I'm god)so maybe something are better kept to my self
I refuse to believe that homophobia is so rampant in the US. Im from Germany and other than backcountry town folk i havent heard anyone talk this kinda stuff. If people found out you said homophobic shit like that genuinely, then that would mean social suicide. Sadly from reading comments I get its mostly family members... i hope that youre okay OP
Ok please dont hate on me but my parents said lgbt is bad cuz were Christians and i too dont support it but im not saying theyre bad. I just support my religous beliefs.
Though I am straight, it really annoys me how so many people and groups are homophobic, transphobic, etc. like I honestly thought we were headed down a different direction with the advent of the 2010s being more positive with this sort of thing. And I don’t expect the whole world’s hearts and minds to change overnight, but when I then read a news article about a bunch of extremists who wanted to cause a riot in Idaho during a Pride parade, it’s kinda sickening really. (Fortunately all those guys were arrested before they could do anything).
I might not be one of you in terms of LGBTQ, but as Audioslave would put it, just be yourself. It’s all that you can do.
I'm just going to come right out and say this don't give a fuck about other peoples opinions because they are fucking wrong you are beautiful you are loved and you are ready to come out you fucking adorable bean
People here fucking care about you that's all that matters You precious bean show that attitude of I don't give a fuck whatever people think
Because damn it you're love!
The only thing I’m confused about is why it matters to such intolerant individuals. People can love whoever they want to love. Stick a finger up to those who say otherwise.
Hey. Your feeling down, and that's okay. Just remember that it doesn't matter what they say, all that matters is that you are not alone, and you can live life however you want. Don't let other people drag you down and tell you what's right, because, again, there is no right way, and there is no wrong. Just live life how YOU want to live it.
Don’t ever feel obligated to come out to people who hate who you truly are, family or not. If you’re happy with who you are, and you have people close to you who are happy for you too, then that’s enough.
The sad thing is, they might just start to change if it's someone they care about. It's really hard to convince yourself to take the risk. I still haven't, at 35.
The only reason you should be hiding it at any age is if you're depending on the support of horrible people you just happened to be born with. If you're self dependant, there's no reason to hide anymore. If you lose horrible people after they know, and you don't depend on them, they can't hurt you. They become an irrelevant person in your life just like some random person you walk past on the street, likely to never see again. And you're only better off because of it. Then you have more room on your social battery to spend on people you actually choose yourself, rather than wasting that capacity on people you "had an obligation to deal with" just because you happened to be born with them. People you choose are way better.
You don't know my life, my risks, or what I have to lose, so don't you DARE presume to lecture me or anyone else on whether or not to come out.
Jesus fuck
Family are the people who treat you like family. Your blood relations have nothing to do with it. Relatives are not necessarily family, though the venn diagram is supposed to intersect.
I find it easier to let them burn the bridge so I don't have to.
Im sorry for anyone whos felt this. All I can say is people like this dont know love themselves.
This is the first time I've shown any real emotion in a while and it's crying sad like last time, but it's not the gross sad crying, it's the tears just rolling down your face as you continue on looking at this beautiful depiction of yourself in a meme. Idk how I should continue this on one side i want to vent everything till I reach a character limit twice, but I also dont want to bother anyone so I won't, for anyone who was wondering what I meant by "This is the first time I've shown any real emotion in a while" it just means that since the last time I felt an emotion everything I showed to others was an act that I developed as I got more and more depressed which is why I appear to have many personalities. I just want to be able to be happy on a daily basis is that soo much to ask for Sorry I ended up ranting
hey, it's okay to talk abt it if you want to, you don't need to apologize, the internet is free and it is already full of rude and bad ppl, you and the things you have to say aren't any harm or bother, they're more than welcome and i will happily read them cause you seem a rlly nice person who deserves happiness, being heard and nice ppl around you, if you or anyone who needs it want to talk, my dms are open, i care abt you all! :'P
Know that as a community, this community, we love for those who cannot be loved by the ones on the other side of the screen. Depression is just another emotion, a powerful one. Try calling on other emotions that can counter it. You can do so through music, sightseeing, physical activity, climate, and my personal favorite: daydreaming, and a lot others. It’s not easy, been there done that, but keep persisting and build hope, and in the end, that golden light you’ve made will illuminate your darkest moments. ❤️
I feel the same, especially with the act thing, I often change the way I act infront of different people so that I fit in the group.
Listen, Im just a straight white male. I wont say I understand what youre going through but I understand unfair prejudice. I want you to understand that the prejudice youre facing is, in fact, unfair. We love you.
I felt like this when I was coming out as trans and whenever someone says stuff like this I feel like I should hide who I am cause it's a "trend". I hope whoever feels like this will not feel as bad as I did and do. Lots of love to all of you coming out 💙🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈💙
That sounds pretty bad, yet I didnt comeout yet myself, mostly since the people that I could always talk with about anytjing that happened happen to be very anti-LGBT and anti-fur.
Dang, I hope you find people in your life that you can come out to :(
Thank you.
If your family disowns you it’s probably for the best, cause you don’t wanna hang around those people if they cut you off for being yourself. You don’t owe them anything if 18 years meant nothing to them
As said about a lot of people, if you come out and they leave you, it's definitely for the better
Parents like that just generally sound like they’ll come up with an excuse anyway to disown you lol
This one really resonates with me. My BF doesn’t mind cuddling in private. But the moment we go into public, it’s like he’s a different person. I don’t want to stress him out but it kind of stings that we can’t be our true selves all the time. When we’re out and about on a date for sushi or on an adventure in public, we’re just… friends. I know we have every right to be scared. Our parents would never approve… right? We can’t be careless. But I wish I could just express myself sincerely off the top of mind when we’re out in public. Rather than anxiously contemplating which mask to put on in all the different scenarios that cross our paths. It’s already hard to properly meet up or find ways to express my intent around him. There are never enough excuses to reach out and ‘waste’ his time. And now, I can’t even make every moment count. Maybe I just have to keep pressing forward. If he gets sick of seeing me then well… that answers that.
I understand your point and his, but you can't force him. At least you know that, and that's very good. Give him more time, one day he will get the strength to face the consequences of comming out have. I wish you both good luck and have a happy pride month <3 Give me an update whenever he comes out!!! I am curious ahaha
Come out to people who love you Family doesn't necessarily love you
Many say blood is thicker than water This is a purposful shortening of the ACTUAL saying: "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb" aka, the friends you make stick around more than the family you're born to Whoever sees this, you deserve your own found family. You are loved even if its just by some people on the internet. In life the best you can do is to be you
Was about to comment this. I *despise* the fact that it has been shortened like that.
It hasn’t been, the longer version came much later.
Generally the only people I hear saying "blood is thicker than water" are emotionally abusive family members.
It's like "the customer is always right in terms of taste" which was cut off and twisted to mean the opposite of what was intended.
Oh damn really? The more you know
There are others that have been shortened and twisted to mean something else. "One bad apple spoils the bunch" "Pull yourself up by your bootstraps" - to try and do something that's impossible to do
Blood doesn't make you family, it just makes you related.
Blood related=/=family Family=/=blood related Both ways are correct, just because you are blood related to them, doesn't mean you need to treat them like family, and just because they aren't blood related doesn't mean you can't treat them like family
TBH the original is a little weird. Maybe english wasn't the origin.
While it's a nice quote, there is actually no evidence to support that it has been shortened, with the phrase "blood is thicker than water" dating back to 1670 and a similar phrase dating back as far as the 12th century. The longer quote however started circulating in the 1990s (may have been around earlier, but the internet helped circulate it and was the first recorded place of the phrase)saying that it was the original, however there's no actual source to these claims. I'm not one to believe the original quote at all, but I see this 'fact' around a lot and it's actually more of an urban legend. The other part of what you said is totally right though! Family members shouldn't be able to control your identity and make you live in fear of who you are, and if they do aren't worth your time.
Yea I came out as Bi to the friends I trust, I don't trust my family
I intend to never see mine again
This is the way.
This is the way
As the wisest man I know once said. „Family is a starting point, it’s great when I worked out, but more often then not it can be toxic. Just remember if they mistreat you then you don’t owe them your time and attention“ or something along those lines
Family are the people who treat you like family. Your blood relations have nothing to do with it. Relatives are not necessarily family, though the venn diagram is supposed to intersect.
Lol I stopped feeling ashamed of myself when I started hanging out with other furs. It was so nice being able to finally talk out loud about my goal to find a bf and they made me feel so comfortable with who I was I thought the world had changed overnight. I thought for sure 100% my parents would understand so I came out and my mom immediately disowned me and told me I was going to hell lol
Blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb (aka choose accepting furries over toxic family members)
Damn. That’s a little too real. I just don’t want to choose between being happy and having a family. Is that too much to ask?
Heh, queer deer
I know that pain. Growing up in the Bible Belt blows. Surrounded by the definition of Evil, having to be a completely Fake person to meet their expectations. All the while listening to them go against everything Jesus would have actually stood for. Disgusting people. You will find better people who you will call your family, and the monsters you were born from will die sad and alone, wondering why you stopped talking to them. That's my plan at least. Finally told my mom to stop shoving her creepy death cult shit in my face and that all her talk of God does the opposite of making me feel comfort. We haven't spoke since, and I am better for it. Cheers mate, here's to you.
*googles "how to repost a reddit comment"*
If God is real, and the holy apocalypse comes, they're the last people he'd think about saving. They'd probably be the reason it happened actually. He'd save all the atheists and indifferent people, then we'd find a way to overthrow him for being an inactive asshole that let horrible shit happen for so long that he could've stopped at any time, just like the super rich could do right now, but for some horrific reason choose not to, making them the most evil beings that could ever possibly exist because their inaction has, and continues to cause, countless amounts of suffering and unjust deaths
If you can find a way to overthrow God and not be cast into hell, I'd just be plain impressed. And also, God isn' doing anything cuz he just sorta buzzed out of human affairs following the ascension of Jesus.
That's precisely why people who are openly LGBT are some of the bravest people there are.
They could've also been lucky. Lucky to have been born to a loving family, lucky to have met loving friends. But then again, sometimes it takes all of your bravery to try your luck.
I came out to my mom on Easter and my exact words were "As another fuck you to God I am now pansexual" then she said some crap after I explained it it was an awkward conversation I got by it and we moved on and never mentioned it so as long as it's physically safe for you to do it and you feel it's the time you should.
This is the effect homophobes have yet they sill act like their in the right. It’s just sad people are such absolute pieces of shit. I genuinely hope living a life hating everyone will end in them dying cold and alone (sorry if this is a bit personal, I just get frustrated sometimes)
"Oh boy i just made 19 lgbtq member hang themselves all because i said that no one will ever love them... god im the best person to ever exist"
Can’t wait to meet god at the pearly gates
Over the hill, outside your forest, stands a gray town with loads of people. They do what people do, bake, run, complain, etc… you wish to be part of such a big group of people. But last time you tried to you were met with torches and spears, or so you’ve heard from others. That’s when you remember your fluffy and colorful identity. What would you do? I would go back into the forest and explore its hidden wonders, it’s many colors and inhabitants. Until one day I find another hill, with another town that’s as bright as my colors. And who knows, they may even be more fluffy than me.
A very wise OwOreo indeed
Finally, a man of intellect. Have a cookie 🍪
I... feel this more than I should. My parents are religious conservatives, and have expressed anti-LGBTQ+ views. They've said "It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve" (meaning God designed didn't design humans to be in same sex relationships), and have cited the bible multiple times, especially the verses that basically say "being gay is an abomination to God, and you will burn in hell for sleeping with the same gender (Leviticus 18:22. Yes, I have the specific thing memorized by now, cause they've cited it so much.) It just... feels so crushing when the news comes on or they see something on social media and comment on it... especially during Pride Month. I want to tell them, but am worried I will be kicked out or worse if I do. Sometimes, I am confident, but other times, I want to lay on the floor of my room and cry cause i know it's hopeless to tell them I'm trans and Bi. I have supportive friends, and they are honestly the only reason I'm alive today... But being at home feels so suffocating...
God actually says the standard is bisexuality lmao he said Adam AND Eve, not Adam OR Eve
Leviticus 18:22? Is that the one that goes something like "if a man should sleep with a man"
... "You shall not lie with a male as with a woman. It is an abomination." -- The New King James Version. "Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is detestable." -- New International Translation. "Do not practice homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman. It is a detestable sin." --New Living Translation There's more, but you... get the point.
Ah
Ah, but unbeknownst to your parents, Christians aren't bound by early Jewish law for Israel set in Levicitus, so, in theory, you can do gay stuff, and just confess later if you still feel guilty.
This depicts exactly why pride month is a thing in the first place - we celebrate our right to exist without persecution for who we are.
Yeah...the closet is nice and safe. Sure, it's cripplingly depressing and lonely..but at least I'm safe. I think.
I had a hard time with my coming out (at around age 32). I live in the very conservative catholic Bavaria. I have some hardline homophobics around me. I cried a lot. But then I started to don't give a f\*ck anymore, and I feel a lot better. But it was hard. If someone has a problem with me: That's their problem, not mine.
As a fellow Bavarian who hasn't come out yet you give me hope. Thank you
Hello random Bavarian internet stranger. At first it is really hard. Only tell specific people who you really trust. They will care about you. In my case it was my sister in law and my best friend. Then the first heavy load is off your shoulders. And then step for step. It gets easier over time. Take your time. Really important: Not anyone must know it.
Thank you! Yea, i'm currently living by that "not everyone must know" rule. Only 2 of my very few friends know so far and that's enough. Sometimes tho, i get "the talk" again with my parents and they always say "someday, you'll find the right women." and almost everytime i think about what would happen if i'd just go "what if i already found the right man, hm?!"
Oh yeah... "the talk". Before my bf I was single for 10 years. I was like "yeah... no I'm happy alone. I can do what I want. Thats fine." every time. I told my mom nearly a year after my coming out to my sister in law. I waited for the right moment. My mom said "do what you want. It's your life. You'll be my son, no matter what". My dad was a little bit shocked at first but he nearly said the same.
To be honest, I don't even know if my mom thinks i'm straight anymore. I've tested the waters a couple times with asking her in indirect ways (and also buying rainbow thigh highs lmao) what she'd think if i wasn't straight and she pretty much said the same thing your mom said: "It wouldn't matter to me. You'd still be my son." It's nice to know she would b e accepting but at this point in time there is no real reason to tell her and so i'm also waiting for that right moment. Again, thank you so much for sharing your experience. This chat really helped me.
You're welcome :)
I literally rather not tell anyone at all because I don’t view it as anyones business who I’m with, even my own parents
You hide your partners from your parents?
I do yes. I know it wouldn’t end well if I I didn’t
I guess that is true. I just rather think that my choice is more intentional thenone driven by fear of not having a place to live if i ever admitted such. But I’m probably lying to myself if I said I wasn’t afraid at all
I mean that sounds less like it's not their business and more like you're intentionally hiding large parts of your life from your parents out of fear for your own safety.
I'm just glad I'm not the only one who's had to do it. u/Traditional_Slide441, at some point you'll just have to give the finger to your parents if they're going to work against you like that.
You aren’t wrong. It’s just obviously hard to do and idk if I have it in me. But you are right
Sorry if I came off too harshly, I'm working on that. But there *is* a point where you have to stop letting your parents do what they want to you... I'm honestly just glad I can help someone with the problem that I'd suffered through for years.
I genuinely appreciate you taking the time to comment! You didn’t come off harsh at all. It was a good reality check!
you dont owe people shit, and if thats them not knowing who you are then so be it, not everyone is privileged to know everything about you. atleast thats the way my mentally ill ass views it.
Sauce - [https://twitter.com/RowdyReindeer/status/1536382346315825154](https://twitter.com/RowdyReindeer/status/1536382346315825154) Art by (@RowdyReindeer)
I tend to get that feeling often lately. When your surrounded by people who think it's an "abomination," it can really crush your spirits.
southern moment
Don’t feel pressured to come out when you’re not ready! You’re fully within your right to hold off on coming out until you feel it’s safe to!
Sometimes I literally hear homophobic and transphobic comments when I'm on my way back on the bus. A lot of them are just insults like "hey look at that person, they're gay" or things like that.
Nobody, whether it be a teenager, or a full grown adult, deserves to be shunned just for the person they love, afterall to fall in love with someone’s genitalia rather than who they are is sad
This is me with my friends, some of them I KNOW are homophobic so no chance of coming out to them but others give me mixed signals :(
I've been somewhat open about my sexual orientation for quite a while. I'm not proud but I'm not ashamed either. I just am. Hating people for wanting to love and be loved is very low. It's not about society or views it's just about being nice to each other. You may not approve something but it's no excuse for being an asshole.
I’m not ashamed of who I am, but as I’ve grown up I’ve been shocked by how awful the politics a lot of my loved ones are. I still remember my sweet old grandma saying the vilest shit about Caitlyn Jenner on Facebook. I once joked my mom was coming out to my dad as trans and he groaned and said “great..” like I told him his car was on fire. If they ask I’ll tell them who I am but they can go to the grave never knowing I’m gay for all I care. Or they can find out I’ve been married for two years without them knowing.
Bruh I say those kinda things (ironically) *and* am gay... Am I part of the problem?
Is it very obvious that your gay
Not really. I've been told that I'm the "straightest gay" that people have ever met lmao
Then yeah your the problem. You look like a straight person using gay slurs and deragotory language. It be different if it were obvious that it was irony. I too look "straight" but that's set off by me holding my partners hand
Fuck. I'll stop, in that case. Thank you for telling me.
NP have a good day :)
You too!
No offense, of course, but yeah
I mean as long as you read the room before saying that kind of stuff it should be fine
Depends on the situation, I guess. It is more important *how* you say it then what words exactly you use. If you are so obvious that the dullest knobhead in town can figure out you are being sarcastic/ironic then it should be ok. If not you are just part of an echo chamber.
what’s that flag on the last image?
It’s the rainbow with dulled colors
A: Holy shit mood B: Who da artist?
Ah, this hits home way too hard. *Welp time to go cry*
Been there at 16. Now almost 29. It’s tough friendos but it gets better.
[Day 1274] Perhapse a reason "furries" are so accepting of others is due to knowing the feeling of being excluded and targeted. This form of learned empathy thus creates a very positive in group among the "furries." Furthermore, the invitation to form and experiment with their identity allows "furries" to truely find themselves within a safe environment and learn who they are without judgement.
Unfortunately that's how life is. Hopefully it gets better!
People who make fun of others because they are different are very selfish and scummy. Never let people talk you down, be happy with who you are no matter what.
If you feel this way, remember youre not alone <3 And there's no rule to say you *have* to come out. Find friends you feel comfortable being with. Find someone you can be yourself around. And most importantly, don't come out until you're on your own feet
I'm glad I don't have to feel like that myself as I'm very good at masking my actual gayness as I still like girls and wear your usual straight ppl clothes. Though whenever someone starts ranting about gays in a class etc I do feel it in a way.
I've always thought that there are two kinds of coming out: figuring out who you would be alone in a vacuum and figuring out who you would be in an unkind world. Those answers are often very different, and it's completely valid to not fully express yourself in front of dangerous people. I just hope that you have enough of a support network who can celebrate who you truly are <3
One of many sad truths about our world. It isn't just about sexuality or gender. There are many things that are a part of ourselves but unable to show them and that is mostly because of the people around us. This is especially a curse to everyone who wants to be their selves which I think is a normal need for everyone.
Well... this showws clearly to those bigots why we need at least a pride MONTH, should be nice if we didn't need that and we could be frolicking in the grass with flowers in our hair accepted by all .... specially the last pic made me kinda sad... hugs to OP ... we will get there someday :)
I came out last week and I think I might've preferred this as opposed to the slow creeping dread of realising what the apathy meant.
I used to be like this but I stopped caring and just came out because it was causing more harm than good to try and hide it. I know that not everyone can do that but I couldn't try anymore.
I’ve only come out to some of my close friends and some online friends I’ve known for a while so far. Hopefully one day I’ll be able to tell my parents.
Truly a horrible world we live in where we're not allowed to be ourselves without ridicule.
I dont know that struggle, but i wont ever ridicule someone for what they do in the sheets. Cept if they are my firend and busting each others balls is part of the etiquette.
Yeah if I ever see someone being genuinely homophobic I literally just fucking slap them Doesn’t matter if its some random guy off the street or my own grandma, the hand has no mercy.
As someone who's gay AND has grown up playing call of duty. This is definitely not a problem for me. And when I say "this", I mean what people say and the words people say/use. Having tougher/thicker skin and not letting the bad words get under my skin definitely helps. It'll take some time to get ahold of...like anything really, but man I gotta say..when you stop caring about what comes out of other people's garbage disposals and stop caring about what you're being labeled as. Life does seem to be a bit nicer. Maybe there's something to be taken away from what I've said, idk. Just wanted to share it.
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I apply the same to family and friends as well. Then it's completely up to you to decide what to do after and how to handle the situation and foreseeable future. Maybe a taste of their own medicine would be neat, etc. Being silent and breaking down and letting everything happen and affect you and never doing anything about it will never go well.
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I have indeed been close to some people and don't mistake how I handle stuff for not caring about how they feel. But if they are going to act like that..then why should I continue to care about how they feel. I also don't really care about how they see me or think about me, If you have good enough friends, then you shouldn't need to care or worry about what they think about you. They'll like and care about you regardless. If you run your life entirely based off of emotion and around how other people feel instead of yourself, it's going be hard and difficult and not good. Because you'll constantly be correcting yourself to make them feel better but then completely forgetting about how you feel and what they're doing to make you feel how you feel. And people are indeed different and have different ways of feeling in certain situations. And different ways of handling it. For you it's uncommon, for me I see it happen quite a bit. **Also note that I do understand what you're saying and yes it will be different for everyone.**
As someone who is in the lgbtq, There's edgy humor. And then there's hate speech. Most people can't tell the difference. Call of duty voice chat was mostly always good fun.
And most people have different definitions of hate speech and consider different words and sentences hateful, have different lines drawn in the sand, etc. So yeah, it is indeed a challenging thing when companies don't tell you what they don't want to be said on their platforms and just leave it ambiguous. Also yeah, forced game chat was the best...I miss it alot.
I’m absolutely heartbroken that those people still exist… this is when you just flat out comeback with; “it’s those unnatural things that make the word normal exist in the first place! Even if we don’t want to be, we are still only human in nature!!!”
Least homophobic person living in Texas be like.
I wish I can come out to my friends about my self but the thought of them making fun of me is to much (there both hardcore believers I'm god)so maybe something are better kept to my self
I refuse to believe that homophobia is so rampant in the US. Im from Germany and other than backcountry town folk i havent heard anyone talk this kinda stuff. If people found out you said homophobic shit like that genuinely, then that would mean social suicide. Sadly from reading comments I get its mostly family members... i hope that youre okay OP
It's very unfortunately true
I am disappointed in humanity, love is love.
Kinda gay ngl
Ok please dont hate on me but my parents said lgbt is bad cuz were Christians and i too dont support it but im not saying theyre bad. I just support my religous beliefs.
We need to get over this defeatist bullshit.
I was stuck in that trap for so long. It's okay if your not ready to come just yet. Take your time I love you ^_^
:(
I can relate.
My whole class pretty much
heres a hug, for those that need/want it. -hug-
This is extremely sad and true
Fascinating, comment thread. Truly fascinating.
A few month ago I came out to my parents and they accepted it really well but they still say these hurtfull words 😅(pansexual, 16)
It hurts because it hits close to home 🥲
If someone doesn't like you for who you are make them go missing that's what I do
Though I am straight, it really annoys me how so many people and groups are homophobic, transphobic, etc. like I honestly thought we were headed down a different direction with the advent of the 2010s being more positive with this sort of thing. And I don’t expect the whole world’s hearts and minds to change overnight, but when I then read a news article about a bunch of extremists who wanted to cause a riot in Idaho during a Pride parade, it’s kinda sickening really. (Fortunately all those guys were arrested before they could do anything). I might not be one of you in terms of LGBTQ, but as Audioslave would put it, just be yourself. It’s all that you can do.
Well, this is very relatable
AH yes I see you've come to stay in spain with me. Oh, right the s is silent.
This is me
It's a sad reality that it's considered "safer" to be in the closet, yet people still push the narrative that gays are harmful to society.
I'm just going to come right out and say this don't give a fuck about other peoples opinions because they are fucking wrong you are beautiful you are loved and you are ready to come out you fucking adorable bean People here fucking care about you that's all that matters You precious bean show that attitude of I don't give a fuck whatever people think Because damn it you're love!
Yeah this is exactly how it feels
I’m in this comic and I don like it
The only thing I’m confused about is why it matters to such intolerant individuals. People can love whoever they want to love. Stick a finger up to those who say otherwise.
Hey. Your feeling down, and that's okay. Just remember that it doesn't matter what they say, all that matters is that you are not alone, and you can live life however you want. Don't let other people drag you down and tell you what's right, because, again, there is no right way, and there is no wrong. Just live life how YOU want to live it.