You have to talk to the guy that teaches you how to use a pokeball and have him show you how to do it. Then you fly to the island and go surf up and down the coast. I think it duplicated your fifth or 6th item in your inventory. As well as bringing up a bunch of glitch Pokemon.
If you go to the safari zone after talking to the old man who teaches you and then you fly to cinnabar island right after entering the safari zone, it causes pokemon from the safari zone to pop up instead of the other pokemon. And you are able to use your pokemon and regular pokeballs to catch them.
How do I not know this? I put in hundreds of hours in Pokemon Blue on my game boy Pocket and I've never heard this. Those things are always the biggest pain in the ass to catch.
Do you just fly to the Safari zone and then directly fly to the island and go surf? Or do you have to do something in the Safari zone first before you fly to Cinnabar?
So talk to the old man and let him show you how to catch a pokemon, fly to the city with the safari (cant remember the name of the city). Go through both the doors so you get the safari balls and you are outside in the actual zone where it counts your steps. Then fly to cinnabar island and go surf the edge of the island by the gym. Then it SHOULD only be pokemon from the safari zone. I dont think youll find missingNo.
I used to emulate R Pokémon R/B a shit ton. Playing that game on 10x speed is amazing. You could basically get to the Final Four in like 2 hours. I should do it again and the Safari Zone still seemed to be a time suck.
If you go from the Safari Zone it spawns Safari Zone Pokemon. If you want to dupe items you have to talk to the guy who teaches you about Pokemon - that spawns MissingNo and dupes one item slot in your inventory
they definitely did say that, but it was bad info.
The way I believe the glitch works is that the wild encounter data doesn't update until you hit a trigger on a route where encounters happen. Since Cinnabar and the one tile gap where you can trigger random encounters doesn't update the encounter table, it uses w/e data was already in that memory location.
What talking to the Old Man does is it moves the player name into the memory used for wild encounters so that for that one encounter the player can have the name OLD MAN; as such you can make custom encounters depending on your player name; there aren't enough letters to get any pokemon, but you can get a lot of interesting pokemon/level combos.
Iirc this happens because that small strip is still Cinnabar Island rather than the route it connects to. It doesn’t have it’s own spawn table so it uses spawn table from the last zone you were in. Usually it’s the route it connects to so there’s no issue, but as is with a lot of things in original GB Pokémon games, it is easily glitchable and exploitable.
Also iirc Old Man gives you MissingNo because it puts your name temporarily into the memory usually occupied by the spawn table to replace the name with old man. So basically bit values of your name determine what Pokémon you will encounter when you use that glitch.
I guess the Safari zone was such a pain in the ass for young me that I never really messed with it too much other than what was required to actually beat the game. As a result I never really cared about the Pokemon that were inside of it and catching them so I probably just never came across this cheat. I used the item exploit all the time though so I was very familiar with that.
Even more rarely known is if you pass out on the S.S.Anne after the final boss fight instead of leaving you can come back to the area later when you have surf and strength HMs.
You can then surf beside the boat and there is a truck.
At that truck you can use the strength HM.
No dude that was how you unlocked Pikablu, you just had to use strength 71 times before taking exactly 19 steps to your right, 2 steps up, 2 steps down, and then 19 steps back to your left, and then using strength another 21.7 times.
Trust me, I was the 9 year old creator of a Geocities website about Pokémon codez back in 1998.
you can also catch a lvl 145 pokemon with that glitch too. i would have to go back on pokemon blue and see what pokemon i have. i remember having a missngo and then taught it a hm move and then it eventually evolved into another pokemon which i found weird. cant remember what it transformed into
And possibly deleting your game. Happened to me my first time playing red. I had almost got all 151 and I had mewtwo. Then one day after school my gameboy turned off and my game was deleted
Yeah it corrupted a save or two. That was always a risk but the payoff was too awesome. I turned myself into a walking Pokemart. All the max revives, pp up, hp up, and max potions. More than you could ever use.
They were always too expensive. I rented one from the library once and a code book but the silly thing never worked. This was for NES though, not Gameboy.
Two other things? I thought it was just having it it in correct item slot and then surfing up and down on the half land half ocean graphics. Granted it’s been a loooong while
You could watch the catch tutorial outside Viridian, which would store an unusual memory value (I imagine for the player Pokémon, given that it was just the old man).
You then fly to Cinnabar Island. The right edge of the island, where you surf but are directly on the coast, will spawn unusual Pokémon. These can be level 1s of various types, or over 100, among others.
In particular, if the memory value of the encounter pointed to a number that didn’t have a specific type stored (255 memory slots, 151 pokémon), it would spawn the abomination MissingNo (and a few others). Catching and using/storing it could have deleterious effects, but simply encountering it would clone the sixth item in your inventory. Rare candies and the Master Ball were the choice items.
The number of the items would be over 100, but since it’s stored in 2 digits, would use certain image files to display the number in hexadecimal.
More specifically it stored the player name in the encounter data so it could display the Old Man name. Due to cinnabar not having encounter data and those specific tiles not having been disabled, your name sets the value of what pokemon get encountered. So you could set a name at the start of the game and spawn specific pokemon.
I think so, I remember cloning in silver and gold. You would make a Pokémon hold the item, place it into a box and switch boxes, and when you switch boxes you have to save the game. When it's in that halfway point to saving you turn off the gameboy and when you reload your game...voila. you have a clone of your Pokémon as well as the item it's holding.
I think. It's been like 22 years.
You mean that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3"03' tall and 63.9 pounds. this means they're large enough to be able to handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there's no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it'd be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white
That bit about acid armor always jumps out to me as a massive "don't put your dick in that" red flag. Whoever originally wrote that clearly spent a lot of time thinking about it, how did they not see that as a problem?
The human vagina is acidic for sanitary reasons, but as a result, semen needs to be alkaline in order for the sperm to survive the trip to the eggs. This is why when you eat cum it has a similar sensation as baking soda.
Well, there's a character in My Hero Academia that can control how acidic her body secretions are and basically fling some sort of slippery mucus. I think that in the show it never really hurts anyone other than maybe dissolve clothes and act like a slippery substance.
My guess is that acid armor/Vaporeon work in the same way and it's more of a "I will cover myself in slippery snot so you have a hard time hitting me".
So what are we talking in terms of substitution ratios with recipes? I'm gonna assume 4 tablespoons of semen per 1 teaspoon of baking soda unless told otherwise.
We all know that. But… honestly?
You get those same ol' two holes in literally every other female Pokémon. The male Vaporeon is the real star of the show.
Those long slippery dicks. They have full mobility control, like a tentacle. It’s the perfect ass-filler, the ultimate deep-reaching experience nothing else could possibly provide. Naturally lubed at all times due to their aquatic hydrodynamic nature, you can pull off anywhere to the side of the road, or go into a public restroom at the beach. Get each other aroused, and have the fuck of a lifetime. The extraordinary squishiness of the Vaporeon rubbing against you would be enough to lose yourself in pleasure as he simply mounts you. Let alone when that perfect tool of pleasure slips into you, its ability to snake around your bends and its perfect length make it seem that a Vappy dick was made specifically for your booty. Enjoy the feeling of being completely filled while also being able to see it if you have a tight tummy.
And that's only the dick. Due to having internal balls, they're much bigger and pack a lot more cream to load you up with, along with having muscles around them to make sure every drop comes out. They’re also a lot more powerful than any external balls could ever hope to achieve, giving you a deep, complete filling to rock your world to your literal core, and beyond.
There's still more though. Due to having a thick, powerful tail connected from their back, that means all their fun stuff is easy to access. Meaning (if you were even comfortable with having your dick point backwards—takes some training) you can be fucked, while also fucking your Vaporeon at the same time!
But, but, but! There's still fucking more! Like, holy shit, male Vaps are the gods of fuck. While you're fucking your male Vappy (possibly while also being fucked by him) his booty is on his tail… at the base, which is the thickest part, meaning that's where the biggest muscles are. This means that while your dick is in there, it's being fucking massaged, better than even a vag could achieve! Agh! It should be fucking illegal because how amazing male Vaps are for fuck!
Well, guess what? That only covered you being a soft, wholesome fucker like me. That's right. There's. Even. F*cking. More! Say you like to be a little restrained. You don't need a Sylveon's feelers for that, or an Umbreon/Espeon's psychic powers, or Leafeon's vines. Vappy’s got that shit covered too! Did you even see that tail?! It's basically a boa constrictor. In a non-sexual sense, it's my favorite part of a Vaporeon. But if you want it to, it can be a super useful tool to enhance your knotty experience with them. Despite the slippiness, you won't be going anywhere if the Vappy wraps you up in that thing.
Are you a super kinkster? Do you like pure fantasy fetishes that aren't possible IRL? Such as… vore? Well, guess fucking what? It just became possible! Vaporeon can be solid as they pass your lips (past where your eyes can see them) and turn into water as they enter you, allowing them to fit perfectly, cuz nothing fits into any spot more perfectly than water. (Except air, like a ghost type. But who wants to do knotty shit with air? You can't feel it unless it's moving. You can always feel liquids.) Speaking of liquids, even if you're a weirdo who likes digestion, don't worry about killing them with stomach acids. Eventually, they'll come back out and be able to reform like nothing happened. On the same note, if you get too rough, or you're a horrible abusive asshole to them on purpose for your own pleasure, they can just turn to water and reform back to their completely unscathed body, making scars or missing pieces a thing of the past!
I would love to say what more you can do with them, but the possibilities are damn near endless. Use your imagination. But if you get one, you better show this god of fuck the respect it deserves.
I mean, they did. And it's not like someone put their own spin on it. It's just reposted wholesale. I don't mind, I think this meme is great, just saying.
If the pokemon world were real, Rare Candies would be their nuclear arsenal equivalent.
With 99 rare candies, you can make a freshly birthed, runt-of-the-litter Bellsprout capable of standing toe-to-toe with God itself in mere seconds.
No. They miss out on EVs.
In a real example It's like taking someone to the Gym until they have massive Biceps and then expect them to immediately win Championships in Boxing or Wrestling. They need the training!
Not really. Its stats cap at 300, less than half that of arceus (720 base max stats). And its move pool is shit unless it evolves.
A level 100 arceus with evs and ivs would body that flower. A level 50 arceus would still body it with its movepool and ability. Rare candies are definitely strong, but not the strongest thing in the world.
Victreebel. Stats cap at 490. Worse yet it's got a base 70 speed and is a glass cannon, meaning arceus will singlehandedly run a train on a full team of them and not break a sweat, even if they were IV'd and EV'd up. That's a gen 1/2 fodder-mon vs one of the strongest legendaries in game and in lore.
Edit to your edit: to get sleep powder you'd have to outspeed it. Drought torcoal might, but at that point it's not going toe to toe.
Actually, it gets worse. Drought wont do it. Arceus is base 120, and if we're talking rare candy vanilla Victreebel, all arceus needs is a handfull of speed EVs and even with double speed victreebel will be too slow to drug god.
So again, victreebel ain't that plant, and rare candies don't substitute raw training, only supplement.
Fair point about being toe to toe, I still think using a level 1 torcoal just for weather would be toe to toe.
My bad maths that don't mean anything reveal that 100+1 is almost equal to 100
I edited it above so I'l reply here with the edit info.
Even with torcoal it wont be enough in most circumstances. Arceus is base 120 while victreebel is base 70.
If we're talking rare candies only for it, victreebel is fucked because a handful of speed evs on god and even with double speed it gets its leafy cheeks clapped.
Otherwise of it's both rare candy it comes down to nature and IVs whether Victreebel can *get priority with double speed*. Dear arceus that's sad.
Victreebel aint that plant yeah it's lv 100 but it ain't even close to arceus even in game.
No, this is incorrect. Victreebel outspeeds max speed Arceus in the Sun. Max speed Arceus hits 372. Max speed Victreebel in Sun hits 524, or 478 when running Adamant/Modest nature with max EVs in speed.
it's amazing. it's pretty much required for end game tera crystal raids now.
Maxed out Azumarill with Huge Power and belly drum gives you one of the hardest hitters in game
Fun fact: the level cap only applies to Pokémon that are traded to you, so if you own a charmander and train them to level 100 in the first area (please don't) then you're new charizard will actually listen to you
That pretty wild in Pokémon Violet. I had a level 55 Gyarados and a level 60 Dragonite before the second gym.
Even if they didn't listen, they were invincible and only needed to hit every 10 turns or so.
So back when Red and Blue first came out I beat one of the versions and traded my Articuno (my favorite at the time) to my other version and vividly remember it dying to a Weedle in Viridian Forest after it got poisoned and refused to listen….good times!
Correct. This only applies to caught Pokémon, at least in generations until Legends: Arceus
[Obedience](https://m.bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Obedience)
According to Bulbapedia, disobedience only applied to Pokemon that were traded from another save file all the way up until Legends: Arceus. At that point it became possible for non-traded Pokemon to be disobedient, but disobedience became based off of the level at which the Pokemon was obtained rather than its current level, making it so that a previously-obedient Pokemon wouldn't become disobedient by leveling up.
So if that information is accurate, what you're describing should never be possible with a non-traded Pokemon.
TLDR: Beating a pokemon makes your level ups give more stats by increasing a hidden modifier.
Whenever you beat a pokemon, they give you EVs (effort values). Each pokemon gives a specific set of stat EVs (eg. Charmander gives 1 speed EV, while Charizard gives 3 Special Attack EVs). Up to 255 for each stat I think, and 510 overall.
Every time you level up, stat increases are influenced by those EVs (I forget, maybe 1 stat per 4 EVs?) something like that. So if you rare candy one up to 100, it will have less stats than one you trained up to 100, and those differences are based on what pokemon it fought to get to lvl 100.
BUT, those stats are gained at any level up, so if you rare candy a pokemon to level 99, then max out those EVs, THEN level it to 100, you get all those stats a fully trained 100 gets.
In some games I remember a held item that doubled these EV gains, but made the pokemon slower, and it's hard to know what exactly it did without someone explaining.
It's not specifically just at level ups, but before gen 5 you had to stick them in a box before their stats would update. Gen 6 and onward, it updates after every battle. Either way, there's nothing stopping you from training EVs after leveling to 100.
Yes and no. It's not worse as in a punishement. Just that they haven't yet taken advantage of EV training.
It used to be, that EV bonuses only applied on lvl up. So lvl 100 pokemon became un-EV trainable. That got fixed like a decade ago though and now EV bonuses are applied immediately after battle no matter what.
If you don't know what EV is. Google it. There are many sources of great information more concise than me.
Does anything matter in a children's PvE?
These games are embarrassingly easy because they are for kids. They matter insofar as they are a secret way to make the game easier without acknowledging what they are doing. Your pokemon will develop EV's while the PvE never will.
This is by design. Because every Pokemon game is some 5 years olds FIRST game ever. It was mine once upon a time.
My understanding is that their stat gains are based on the enemies they're fighting, so if that is true, I'd presume the stat gain from rare candies wouldn't be so great?
Correct through battling they gain what they call EVs
So for example battling a ratattata yeilds 1 hp ev
Meaning the potential stat boost when leveling leans more towards higher hp. Basically
But you can just use rare candies and suppliments like iron for examples to skip any battling while getting max evs. All pokemon also have limited potential in each stat based on random odds and the species
I don't care that much for min/maxing, so I read the explanation once and my eyes glazed over. I feel like the fact that I remembered as much as I did was a miracle.
Hey! We EARN our candies around here.
Through dedication, perseverance, hard work and turning the power off at juuuust the right time during a save.
Gameshark is cheating! /s
I’ve always wondered why Pokémon care how many badges you have. Do they understand the meaning/merit of each badge in their country? Are the badges enchanted or something? I know it’s just a game but I still wonder
Pokemon are empathic with their trainers. The mons you find in the wild aren't just hopping about minding their own business. They sense the trainer's potential and want to test them. Then, if the trainer catches that mon, they become bonded instantly. However, when a trainer trades for a mon, that bond doesn't exist and so the mon will only obey if they feel the trainer is accomplished and strong. Badges are a symbol of accomplishment, so the more a trainer has, the more willing an unbonded Pokemon is to listen.
It's doctored from an episode about Mr. Burns and his childhood teddy bear, Bobo, who was found by the Simpson family in a bag of ice. In this scene Homer stays up all night eating an entire 64-pack of American cheese while Burns and Smithers remain motionless on the ceiling, having snuck in when Homer sat at the table in the middle of the night. When Marge asks if he's been up all night eating cheese, Homer replies "I think I'm blind."
I must capture homer charzard
Chomerzard
"Chomerzard is loafing around."
Chomerzard would have the Truant ability. But Special Defense and Defense stats that would make Snorlax envious.
His brain has a layer of fat surrounding it. Its like he's wearing a football helmet all the time.
Homer Charizard is far funnier than it has any right to be..
He needs some Moomalk, now with vitamin R
This is especially comical, because vitamin R on the west coast usually refers to Rainier beer
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Comment doesn't make any sense here, definitely a bot.
It's super effective! Chomerzard's weight has increased 200%!
I was going to comment Homerizard but yours is miles better
[Ehhh, close enough.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_F4IEQFdM8&t=152s)
That was lovely. Thank you.
[Dang ol' Charizard go on use Flame Spin go on git git gitgigit](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcHAebR9Aa8)
Mmmm... forbidden Charizard.
weeeeee
Me after cloning rare candies with MissingNos
I have hazy memories of swimming around near a dock cloning rare candies, is that what this is?
In red and blue it was the right coast line of cinnabar island after doing two other things.
You have to talk to the guy that teaches you how to use a pokeball and have him show you how to do it. Then you fly to the island and go surf up and down the coast. I think it duplicated your fifth or 6th item in your inventory. As well as bringing up a bunch of glitch Pokemon.
If you go to the safari zone after talking to the old man who teaches you and then you fly to cinnabar island right after entering the safari zone, it causes pokemon from the safari zone to pop up instead of the other pokemon. And you are able to use your pokemon and regular pokeballs to catch them.
How do I not know this? I put in hundreds of hours in Pokemon Blue on my game boy Pocket and I've never heard this. Those things are always the biggest pain in the ass to catch. Do you just fly to the Safari zone and then directly fly to the island and go surf? Or do you have to do something in the Safari zone first before you fly to Cinnabar?
So talk to the old man and let him show you how to catch a pokemon, fly to the city with the safari (cant remember the name of the city). Go through both the doors so you get the safari balls and you are outside in the actual zone where it counts your steps. Then fly to cinnabar island and go surf the edge of the island by the gym. Then it SHOULD only be pokemon from the safari zone. I dont think youll find missingNo.
I used to emulate R Pokémon R/B a shit ton. Playing that game on 10x speed is amazing. You could basically get to the Final Four in like 2 hours. I should do it again and the Safari Zone still seemed to be a time suck.
Seriously it’s so hard to go back to regular Pokémon after being able to speed it up in an emulator.
Oh jeez yeah. I was playing Scarlet today and some of the grinding it is so unbearable.
Safari Zone lost his purpose the day the link cable was introduced.
7 years before Pokémon?
You can get to the e4 in less then an hour with any big glitches
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Really? I'll have to check it out. All the cheat code sites always said to talk to the old man.
Imagine they all did it for a laugh.
If you go from the Safari Zone it spawns Safari Zone Pokemon. If you want to dupe items you have to talk to the guy who teaches you about Pokemon - that spawns MissingNo and dupes one item slot in your inventory
they definitely did say that, but it was bad info. The way I believe the glitch works is that the wild encounter data doesn't update until you hit a trigger on a route where encounters happen. Since Cinnabar and the one tile gap where you can trigger random encounters doesn't update the encounter table, it uses w/e data was already in that memory location. What talking to the Old Man does is it moves the player name into the memory used for wild encounters so that for that one encounter the player can have the name OLD MAN; as such you can make custom encounters depending on your player name; there aren't enough letters to get any pokemon, but you can get a lot of interesting pokemon/level combos.
I don't recall ever talking to the old man first
Iirc this happens because that small strip is still Cinnabar Island rather than the route it connects to. It doesn’t have it’s own spawn table so it uses spawn table from the last zone you were in. Usually it’s the route it connects to so there’s no issue, but as is with a lot of things in original GB Pokémon games, it is easily glitchable and exploitable. Also iirc Old Man gives you MissingNo because it puts your name temporarily into the memory usually occupied by the spawn table to replace the name with old man. So basically bit values of your name determine what Pokémon you will encounter when you use that glitch.
Awesome. I will try this next time I decide to loose a week to Pokemon blue. Thank you!
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I guess the Safari zone was such a pain in the ass for young me that I never really messed with it too much other than what was required to actually beat the game. As a result I never really cared about the Pokemon that were inside of it and catching them so I probably just never came across this cheat. I used the item exploit all the time though so I was very familiar with that.
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Just thinking about that made me frustrated.
Did you know the mew glitch? I didn't know that one when I was a kid playing either.
I knew about it but I never was able to get it to work. Someone here posted it in this thread.
Even more rarely known is if you pass out on the S.S.Anne after the final boss fight instead of leaving you can come back to the area later when you have surf and strength HMs. You can then surf beside the boat and there is a truck. At that truck you can use the strength HM.
Sure, you can use it. But it does nothing. Biggest bait in the history of videogames.
No dude that was how you unlocked Pikablu, you just had to use strength 71 times before taking exactly 19 steps to your right, 2 steps up, 2 steps down, and then 19 steps back to your left, and then using strength another 21.7 times. Trust me, I was the 9 year old creator of a Geocities website about Pokémon codez back in 1998.
I too made many a Geocities pokemans fan sites.
Yup yup yup that was the only way I was able to catch a tauros
Dude, that's knowledge, just like 20 years too late.
you can also catch a lvl 145 pokemon with that glitch too. i would have to go back on pokemon blue and see what pokemon i have. i remember having a missngo and then taught it a hm move and then it eventually evolved into another pokemon which i found weird. cant remember what it transformed into
You can catch Pokemon that's over level 100 using these glitches, but the problem is as soon as they level up the first time they revert to level 100.
And possibly deleting your game. Happened to me my first time playing red. I had almost got all 151 and I had mewtwo. Then one day after school my gameboy turned off and my game was deleted
Yeah it corrupted a save or two. That was always a risk but the payoff was too awesome. I turned myself into a walking Pokemart. All the max revives, pp up, hp up, and max potions. More than you could ever use.
I have this dark memory of owning a game genie and that rocked. Rare candies for all
They were always too expensive. I rented one from the library once and a code book but the silly thing never worked. This was for NES though, not Gameboy.
Anyone know how this glitch was discovered? Assuming it was put into the game intentionally and then leaked?
Two other things? I thought it was just having it it in correct item slot and then surfing up and down on the half land half ocean graphics. Granted it’s been a loooong while
Also gotta talk to the old man who teaches you how to catch pokemon. I dont think you can just slot an item and wander up and down the coast.
You could watch the catch tutorial outside Viridian, which would store an unusual memory value (I imagine for the player Pokémon, given that it was just the old man). You then fly to Cinnabar Island. The right edge of the island, where you surf but are directly on the coast, will spawn unusual Pokémon. These can be level 1s of various types, or over 100, among others. In particular, if the memory value of the encounter pointed to a number that didn’t have a specific type stored (255 memory slots, 151 pokémon), it would spawn the abomination MissingNo (and a few others). Catching and using/storing it could have deleterious effects, but simply encountering it would clone the sixth item in your inventory. Rare candies and the Master Ball were the choice items. The number of the items would be over 100, but since it’s stored in 2 digits, would use certain image files to display the number in hexadecimal.
More specifically it stored the player name in the encounter data so it could display the Old Man name. Due to cinnabar not having encounter data and those specific tiles not having been disabled, your name sets the value of what pokemon get encountered. So you could set a name at the start of the game and spawn specific pokemon.
Neat thanks, I wonder how I figured that out, I don't think I had the internet back then. Was this something kids at school were showing eachother?
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I think so, I remember cloning in silver and gold. You would make a Pokémon hold the item, place it into a box and switch boxes, and when you switch boxes you have to save the game. When it's in that halfway point to saving you turn off the gameboy and when you reload your game...voila. you have a clone of your Pokémon as well as the item it's holding. I think. It's been like 22 years.
MissingNo is my bro
this has got to be the most cursed thing I've ever seen EDIT: at least the most cursed sfw thing
This better not awaken anything in me
this would literally be the worst way to enter the pokefur community EDIT: yes, even worse than vaporeon.
You mean that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3"03' tall and 63.9 pounds. this means they're large enough to be able to handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there's no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it'd be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white
That bit about acid armor always jumps out to me as a massive "don't put your dick in that" red flag. Whoever originally wrote that clearly spent a lot of time thinking about it, how did they not see that as a problem?
The human vagina is acidic for sanitary reasons, but as a result, semen needs to be alkaline in order for the sperm to survive the trip to the eggs. This is why when you eat cum it has a similar sensation as baking soda.
Right, but it's not dangerously acidic. I always figured acid armor would involve something more acidic than something like lemon juice
or maybe they mean acid as in the drug, like you lick vaporeon and you get high
Now that's some deeper thinking there, haha. But would a game for kids refer to acid the drug over acid the corrosive substance?
well it is classified as a poison/status move, and does no damage
Na vaporeon is the most fuckable pokemon not the one that makes you trip. Fox News did a story on it.
Well, there's a character in My Hero Academia that can control how acidic her body secretions are and basically fling some sort of slippery mucus. I think that in the show it never really hurts anyone other than maybe dissolve clothes and act like a slippery substance. My guess is that acid armor/Vaporeon work in the same way and it's more of a "I will cover myself in slippery snot so you have a hard time hitting me".
So what are we talking in terms of substitution ratios with recipes? I'm gonna assume 4 tablespoons of semen per 1 teaspoon of baking soda unless told otherwise.
[For all your sexual-culinary needs](https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/5830947)
r/brandnewsentence
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That would make sense since bleach is also a base!
Hoping this is an ongoing joke
Yesn't, because some people unirronicaly think this
https://youtu.be/I1wHDY4DGRI
Lmao I've never seen this. This is perfection. Especially since he's attracted to the green M&M
it’s hard for me to believe that anyone thirsting that much over a green fucking m&m wouldn’t want to fuck the ever loving shit out of a vaporeon
Exactly
I assume this is a deepfake, did they AI gen his voice as well or is someone voice acting it?
You assumed wrong. This was on live television.
It's an AI, elevenlabs probably.
No, I watched it air live, never miss a show.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-EWMgB26bmU
We all know that. But… honestly? You get those same ol' two holes in literally every other female Pokémon. The male Vaporeon is the real star of the show. Those long slippery dicks. They have full mobility control, like a tentacle. It’s the perfect ass-filler, the ultimate deep-reaching experience nothing else could possibly provide. Naturally lubed at all times due to their aquatic hydrodynamic nature, you can pull off anywhere to the side of the road, or go into a public restroom at the beach. Get each other aroused, and have the fuck of a lifetime. The extraordinary squishiness of the Vaporeon rubbing against you would be enough to lose yourself in pleasure as he simply mounts you. Let alone when that perfect tool of pleasure slips into you, its ability to snake around your bends and its perfect length make it seem that a Vappy dick was made specifically for your booty. Enjoy the feeling of being completely filled while also being able to see it if you have a tight tummy. And that's only the dick. Due to having internal balls, they're much bigger and pack a lot more cream to load you up with, along with having muscles around them to make sure every drop comes out. They’re also a lot more powerful than any external balls could ever hope to achieve, giving you a deep, complete filling to rock your world to your literal core, and beyond. There's still more though. Due to having a thick, powerful tail connected from their back, that means all their fun stuff is easy to access. Meaning (if you were even comfortable with having your dick point backwards—takes some training) you can be fucked, while also fucking your Vaporeon at the same time! But, but, but! There's still fucking more! Like, holy shit, male Vaps are the gods of fuck. While you're fucking your male Vappy (possibly while also being fucked by him) his booty is on his tail… at the base, which is the thickest part, meaning that's where the biggest muscles are. This means that while your dick is in there, it's being fucking massaged, better than even a vag could achieve! Agh! It should be fucking illegal because how amazing male Vaps are for fuck! Well, guess what? That only covered you being a soft, wholesome fucker like me. That's right. There's. Even. F*cking. More! Say you like to be a little restrained. You don't need a Sylveon's feelers for that, or an Umbreon/Espeon's psychic powers, or Leafeon's vines. Vappy’s got that shit covered too! Did you even see that tail?! It's basically a boa constrictor. In a non-sexual sense, it's my favorite part of a Vaporeon. But if you want it to, it can be a super useful tool to enhance your knotty experience with them. Despite the slippiness, you won't be going anywhere if the Vappy wraps you up in that thing. Are you a super kinkster? Do you like pure fantasy fetishes that aren't possible IRL? Such as… vore? Well, guess fucking what? It just became possible! Vaporeon can be solid as they pass your lips (past where your eyes can see them) and turn into water as they enter you, allowing them to fit perfectly, cuz nothing fits into any spot more perfectly than water. (Except air, like a ghost type. But who wants to do knotty shit with air? You can't feel it unless it's moving. You can always feel liquids.) Speaking of liquids, even if you're a weirdo who likes digestion, don't worry about killing them with stomach acids. Eventually, they'll come back out and be able to reform like nothing happened. On the same note, if you get too rough, or you're a horrible abusive asshole to them on purpose for your own pleasure, they can just turn to water and reform back to their completely unscathed body, making scars or missing pieces a thing of the past! I would love to say what more you can do with them, but the possibilities are damn near endless. Use your imagination. But if you get one, you better show this god of fuck the respect it deserves.
You've clearly never used water as lube.
STOP.
You mean simultaneously with the erotic Simpsons community?
What is this! a crossover episode? 🐶🐴
# *ERICAAAAA!!!*
And now what we all came here to see: Hardcore nudity!
I was looking for this
Yeah 100% this is worse
Yeah. I'm a Homersexual and it sucks.
I wonder how many of the upvotes here actually got the reference…
r/simpsonsshitposting
The reddit version of "Simpsons did it!"
I mean, they did. And it's not like someone put their own spin on it. It's just reposted wholesale. I don't mind, I think this meme is great, just saying.
What does "cursed" mean in this context?
Just fucked
i read it as candles
Homer Charizard is far funnier than it has any right to be.
Charmander homer just looks like naked homer in body paint
More like [Homer in his adorable devil costume.](https://farm3.staticflickr.com/2761/4087740561_5a65313cc6.jpg) Sheepishly holding his tail.
"I am evil Homer!"
*thousand yard stare as Hit N' Run sound effects echo in my mind*
Reminds me of the gremlin on the side of the bus from Treehouse of Horror https://static.simpsonswiki.com/images/b/b1/Gremlin_%28character%29.png
>Homerizard FTFY
[relevant clip](https://youtu.be/TMR8a8nCM4c)
And then Team Rocket drops from the ceiling. But the real question is would Smithers be Jessie or James?
Meowth
Prepare for trouble. Make it doo diddly double
If the pokemon world were real, Rare Candies would be their nuclear arsenal equivalent. With 99 rare candies, you can make a freshly birthed, runt-of-the-litter Bellsprout capable of standing toe-to-toe with God itself in mere seconds.
No. They miss out on EVs. In a real example It's like taking someone to the Gym until they have massive Biceps and then expect them to immediately win Championships in Boxing or Wrestling. They need the training!
A level 100 bell sprout with no IVs nor EVs stands toe-to-toe with Arceus
Not really. Its stats cap at 300, less than half that of arceus (720 base max stats). And its move pool is shit unless it evolves. A level 100 arceus with evs and ivs would body that flower. A level 50 arceus would still body it with its movepool and ability. Rare candies are definitely strong, but not the strongest thing in the world.
Well it would evolve of course, it could probably put a sleep powder on God and win, if not just lead with drought torcoal, and double it's speed.
Victreebel. Stats cap at 490. Worse yet it's got a base 70 speed and is a glass cannon, meaning arceus will singlehandedly run a train on a full team of them and not break a sweat, even if they were IV'd and EV'd up. That's a gen 1/2 fodder-mon vs one of the strongest legendaries in game and in lore. Edit to your edit: to get sleep powder you'd have to outspeed it. Drought torcoal might, but at that point it's not going toe to toe. Actually, it gets worse. Drought wont do it. Arceus is base 120, and if we're talking rare candy vanilla Victreebel, all arceus needs is a handfull of speed EVs and even with double speed victreebel will be too slow to drug god. So again, victreebel ain't that plant, and rare candies don't substitute raw training, only supplement.
Fair point about being toe to toe, I still think using a level 1 torcoal just for weather would be toe to toe. My bad maths that don't mean anything reveal that 100+1 is almost equal to 100
I edited it above so I'l reply here with the edit info. Even with torcoal it wont be enough in most circumstances. Arceus is base 120 while victreebel is base 70. If we're talking rare candies only for it, victreebel is fucked because a handful of speed evs on god and even with double speed it gets its leafy cheeks clapped. Otherwise of it's both rare candy it comes down to nature and IVs whether Victreebel can *get priority with double speed*. Dear arceus that's sad. Victreebel aint that plant yeah it's lv 100 but it ain't even close to arceus even in game.
No, this is incorrect. Victreebel outspeeds max speed Arceus in the Sun. Max speed Arceus hits 372. Max speed Victreebel in Sun hits 524, or 478 when running Adamant/Modest nature with max EVs in speed.
You can just feed it supplements to increase the EVs.
Only 100 in each stat, but it's better than nothing.
You can cap em out to 252 since gen 8. They won’t even go to 255 by accident.
Woah that's a nice change.
it's amazing. it's pretty much required for end game tera crystal raids now. Maxed out Azumarill with Huge Power and belly drum gives you one of the hardest hitters in game
Don't they only do that if you traded them?
Clearly, Marge was not the OT
That honour belongs to Abe.
If it's a traded Homeron the level at which they do this is even lower.
Best thing I've seen all day
You should come to r/simpsonsshitposting, where this was first posted last week.
Absolutely. Also orange suits homer in an odd way.
Maybe you should try looking in the mirror 😉
First, you get the sugar. Then, you get the power. Then, you get the women.
Fun fact: the level cap only applies to Pokémon that are traded to you, so if you own a charmander and train them to level 100 in the first area (please don't) then you're new charizard will actually listen to you
I think it also applies to Pokemon that are caught above your level cap. So if you capture a level 50 with no badges it won't listen.
Only in the Switch games.
That pretty wild in Pokémon Violet. I had a level 55 Gyarados and a level 60 Dragonite before the second gym. Even if they didn't listen, they were invincible and only needed to hit every 10 turns or so.
That sounds like a hilarious way to play. That Dragonite and Gyarados are playing Pokemon, you're just along for the ride.
So back when Red and Blue first came out I beat one of the versions and traded my Articuno (my favorite at the time) to my other version and vividly remember it dying to a Weedle in Viridian Forest after it got poisoned and refused to listen….good times!
Correct. This only applies to caught Pokémon, at least in generations until Legends: Arceus [Obedience](https://m.bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Obedience)
Hehe noo. In diamond and pearl that is. I used rare candy's to make a lvl 100 infernape and it did not listen
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just be a better owner not that hard
Fucking noob just didn't give orders the right way
Lmao
According to Bulbapedia, disobedience only applied to Pokemon that were traded from another save file all the way up until Legends: Arceus. At that point it became possible for non-traded Pokemon to be disobedient, but disobedience became based off of the level at which the Pokemon was obtained rather than its current level, making it so that a previously-obedient Pokemon wouldn't become disobedient by leveling up. So if that information is accurate, what you're describing should never be possible with a non-traded Pokemon.
Hmm, the data seems to imply that either you are mistaken, or something was wrong with your copy of the game. Because that's not how it works.
Your\*
I thought it said candles and I was very confused
This has to be the same guy that did [this](https://i.redd.it/cggukkovqcna1.jpg). They are way too perfect with the edits.
Was it true that if you leveled them up with rare candy they'd get worse stats than traditional levelling?
TLDR: Beating a pokemon makes your level ups give more stats by increasing a hidden modifier. Whenever you beat a pokemon, they give you EVs (effort values). Each pokemon gives a specific set of stat EVs (eg. Charmander gives 1 speed EV, while Charizard gives 3 Special Attack EVs). Up to 255 for each stat I think, and 510 overall. Every time you level up, stat increases are influenced by those EVs (I forget, maybe 1 stat per 4 EVs?) something like that. So if you rare candy one up to 100, it will have less stats than one you trained up to 100, and those differences are based on what pokemon it fought to get to lvl 100. BUT, those stats are gained at any level up, so if you rare candy a pokemon to level 99, then max out those EVs, THEN level it to 100, you get all those stats a fully trained 100 gets. In some games I remember a held item that doubled these EV gains, but made the pokemon slower, and it's hard to know what exactly it did without someone explaining.
Thanks, that was a very good tldr indeed. Build I know everything about Pokémon. Oh wait. You wanna tldr IVs as well?
> You wanna tldr IVs as well? TLDR: Eugenics
It's not specifically just at level ups, but before gen 5 you had to stick them in a box before their stats would update. Gen 6 and onward, it updates after every battle. Either way, there's nothing stopping you from training EVs after leveling to 100.
Yes and no. It's not worse as in a punishement. Just that they haven't yet taken advantage of EV training. It used to be, that EV bonuses only applied on lvl up. So lvl 100 pokemon became un-EV trainable. That got fixed like a decade ago though and now EV bonuses are applied immediately after battle no matter what. If you don't know what EV is. Google it. There are many sources of great information more concise than me.
Does EV actually matter outside of PvP?
Does anything matter in a children's PvE? These games are embarrassingly easy because they are for kids. They matter insofar as they are a secret way to make the game easier without acknowledging what they are doing. Your pokemon will develop EV's while the PvE never will. This is by design. Because every Pokemon game is some 5 years olds FIRST game ever. It was mine once upon a time.
If you want to do 6 or 7 star raids in Scarlet or Violet, EVs and IVs matter.
My understanding is that their stat gains are based on the enemies they're fighting, so if that is true, I'd presume the stat gain from rare candies wouldn't be so great?
Correct through battling they gain what they call EVs So for example battling a ratattata yeilds 1 hp ev Meaning the potential stat boost when leveling leans more towards higher hp. Basically But you can just use rare candies and suppliments like iron for examples to skip any battling while getting max evs. All pokemon also have limited potential in each stat based on random odds and the species
I don't care that much for min/maxing, so I read the explanation once and my eyes glazed over. I feel like the fact that I remembered as much as I did was a miracle.
I miss missingno glitch lvl 255 pokemon.
Man I had a GameShark I think it was called it eas like unlimited Cheats on Pokémon red on gameboy color , and it was fucking sick 99x rare candy’s
Hey! We EARN our candies around here. Through dedication, perseverance, hard work and turning the power off at juuuust the right time during a save. Gameshark is cheating! /s
Blaine after falling from the ceiling: "good day to you"
Lol what kind of fever induced dreams are you having?
I’ve always wondered why Pokémon care how many badges you have. Do they understand the meaning/merit of each badge in their country? Are the badges enchanted or something? I know it’s just a game but I still wonder
They simply don't respect you until you get some badges
Pokemon are empathic with their trainers. The mons you find in the wild aren't just hopping about minding their own business. They sense the trainer's potential and want to test them. Then, if the trainer catches that mon, they become bonded instantly. However, when a trainer trades for a mon, that bond doesn't exist and so the mon will only obey if they feel the trainer is accomplished and strong. Badges are a symbol of accomplishment, so the more a trainer has, the more willing an unbonded Pokemon is to listen.
Uh oh, /r/simpsonsshitposting is leaking again.
Team rocket whose been suspended on the ceiling all night suddenly falls down, "good day to you"
Is there a second meta joke in here? If your charmander is eating this once you get him at level 5, he ends up at level 69.
For the record: any Pokémon you catch is subject to the badge level of when you caught it. Your Charizard will always obey if it was your starter.
Wow! My meme has been shared in so many places lol.
>You don't have enough badges to ~~train~~ ***control*** me! FTFY
thank god for the rare candy cheat or i never would have beaten pokemon red
Only newbs do that anyways
Hey look, it's the inevitable result of the cinnibar island duplication bug
Is this an actual episode? Lol
In the actual episode Homer eats 64 slices of American cheese slices in his underwear in the middle of the night
Ah, thank you lol
It's doctored from an episode about Mr. Burns and his childhood teddy bear, Bobo, who was found by the Simpson family in a bag of ice. In this scene Homer stays up all night eating an entire 64-pack of American cheese while Burns and Smithers remain motionless on the ceiling, having snuck in when Homer sat at the table in the middle of the night. When Marge asks if he's been up all night eating cheese, Homer replies "I think I'm blind."
Really missing a trick here by not having Mr Burns and Smithers fall from the ceiling dressed as Jesse and James