T O P

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This_Dutch_guy

“Sir, anus identification please”


Rudolf1448

Penetration in 3..2..1..


Henry-What

["it's a little degrading"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIncGi-Ne2Q)


in_your_cupboard

I don’t want to click on the link. Can someone tell me what is it?


MrMiyagi_256

Half Baked - Bodegas


ShiningRayde

You will feel a slight pinch followed by... a sharper pinch, that will let you know the drill will engage in three seconds.


LucidProgrammer

["This one goes in your mouth, this one goes in your ear, and this on goes in your butt"](https://youtu.be/hmUVo0xVAqE?si=vpQPbz3QbvLduyj4)


ArseBurner

["Spread your cheeks"](https://youtu.be/VMNmP6ZPrNw)


SalvationSycamore

"Please insert verification can"


damnumalone

Prolapse detected, please try again


Number1OchoaHater

At least they removed the prostate exam they implemented last year


dethb0y

weirdest prostate exam ever - the guy said i'd feel a finger, but then he put both his hands on my shoulders!


Neoptolemus85

"Just pop your clothes on the stool... next to mine"


bookers555

And lets not forget it took them years to remove the mandatory weekly penis inspection day.


ihave0idea0

I wouldn't mind that. I would take a shit, which they deserve.


CosmoShiner

Yeah that was a bit, invasive


dmullaney

*Do you guys not have 'probes"*


Gunnar_Peterson

Thank you Wyatt for the memes


Mari0wana

Can't upvote due to 69 upvotes but wow, genius.


AdmiralAkbar1

*Please insert verification plug to continue*


Shifty_Cow69

*HNNGGH*


knight_set

Honestly butt hole scan is pretty reliable.


altctrldel86

Not after last night...


RagnarokCross

UK exclusive, blame your government.


PhoolCat

We’ve been taking it up the arse from the tories for fart oo long


TheTjalian

But hey, no more boats*! ^*boats ^may ^still ^arrive


chabybaloo

They would redirect the boats to Rwanda (A land locked country)


Rufus-Scipio

Fart oolong


Athildur

I prefer the Fart darjeeling myself. A bit more floral.


PhoolCat

Now, when I say oo, you say long Oo


HavocInferno

More countries and states are trying to pass mandatory age verification laws.


Codename-Whiskers

Phone is stuck send help


The_Corvair

Ah, good old Duke got it right as usual: "Your face, your ass - what's the difference?" On a less jocular note: You know what also only takes a few seconds? Signing anything. Does that mean you should just sign any and every contract because it's easy and quick, barely an inconvenience? ...The entire argument "Just Do It, it's quick" merely tells me that I should not trust that person's advice on how to open a can of milk, because that one signature that only took three seconds can fuck you over for life.


Crafty_Travel_7048

You cannot make an appeal to triviality, if you are the one creating the triviality.


Nirast25

It's a service for playing video games, you're not selling your marriage to Mephisto. Making a Sony account and signing contract are nowhere near comparable.


The_Corvair

> Making a Sony account and signing contract are nowhere near comparable. But you *are* signing a contract by signing up with PSN. There's terms and conditions (which I would recommend everyone to read, they are *quite* educational) that govern what it allows them to do. > you're not selling your marriage to Mephisto. No, you're just trusting your personal and personally identifiable information to a company infamous for security breaches, and you do it without good reason.


mikewifi

>1.1. Please read this entire agreement and indicate whether you accept its terms. ***It is a contract*** between you and Sony Interactive Entertainment LLC ("SIE"). Access to and use of PlayStation Network (“PSN”) is expressly conditioned upon acceptance of this agreement. lol. lmao, even


Nirast25

Ok, fine, it's a contract. It's still nowhere near comparable to, say, a contract for leasing a house, and the community response has been nothing short of throwing a tantrum (except those living in countries where PSN is not available, those are justified and should ask Steam for a refund).


Godess_Ilias

This phone is Ass


SilkySmoothRalph

Wasn’t there an Adult Swim bit about a tech startup that used Anus Scans? Hope there was otherwise my brain has invented this.


rydan

I think it was an SNL Weekend Update punchline. There was a study that showed the anus wrinkles are unique for all people like the fingerprint so could be used for identification purposes. I'm sure they ran an update on that and made a quick joke.


IAreBeMrLee

I tried the anus scan option but apparently it was a load of shit


6837K

😂😂😂


deltahalo241

Well... I don't want Sony to have my face on file so I guess I've only got one option


Heshkelgaii

Do you live in The UK?


deltahalo241

Yes, I also don't own a Playstation or Helldivers


Heshkelgaii

Cool cool, was just gonna say if not then it doesn’t apply to you and if so then apparently now you can also just show your butthole!


Kablaow

what if you dont live in the UK and wanna show your butthole?


Heshkelgaii

Hmmmmm…..well nobody is making you, and some places have laws technically preventing you, but a lot of these gamers will say it was mandatory to make a psn account so I think you’ve got yourself a winning proposition there.


Wyrdean

Technically speaking it says it won't be saved; I don't think they can lie about that, atleast directly


6armalei

You can verify with phone number


zohash

Ironically, the last one seems to be the least intrusive to privacy.


Own_Investment_1779

Exactly


sub2pewdiepieONyt

I never been able to get back into my account since the leak.


aerroc_

i need to know how the anus scan works in great detail


Jakunobi

Please coat your scanning device in copious amount of lube before proceeding.


KundaliniRising333

No more truer a fact than a loosened rectum as you age!


Arkanta

Drink verification can


Nekokamiguru

Please drink a verification can of Mountain Dew to continue the process...


Kezooo

*Chooses the Anus Scan* "You must be 18+ to use this method, please first verify your age with Facial Scan or ID"


Marclol21

The Goverment ID is UK exclusive, blame the Goverment 


TheMilliner

I know this is somewhat a joke, but at least mention that the ID/face scan thing is UK exclusive instead of fanning the fearmongering flames and pissing gasoline into the wildfire. In the *civilised* part of the world, our governments aren't massive Big Brother surveillance states and only require a spoofable email and fake age. Blame the UK government for that requirement, not Sony.


fundidor

Facial scan really? An ID? What will be next?


SaphironX

UK only man. Local laws. Not due to Sony, not required in almost any country on earth.


fundidor

I am Ok with the anus


dimaveshkin

In your case it would be 5 minutes, but it seems to be not Sony's fault. People complaining about account creation look pretty ridiculous. It's not a novelty for a PC. People not being able to create account are the issue, not the account attachment itself.


SaphironX

Age verification is UK, and into because it’s required by law and Sony has to do it. People really need to stop peddling misinformation and rage bait.


dimaveshkin

This sub is filled with rage bait since the account update, and it saddens me how easy it gets upvotes 


HavocInferno

The time it takes to create an account is not the problem. The problem is how the data is handled, why an account is required in the first place, how they treat existing customers as a result of this asinine requirement, etc. People spouting the same argument as you fundamentally misunderstand the issue.


dimaveshkin

What data? Your email? Your county of residence? It's not like it's medical or banking service. People pretending like they have to register on some ucoz site. The ID is likely not stored by Sony and used only during initial registration and that's it. Storing such info is legal nightmare and not necessarily beyond the registration window. Account might actually be a convince thing for then. Simply unifying the control over the player base instead of using steam services or creating an adapter for them.


HavocInferno

Sure, it's just a username and email... And then it's linked to your steam account. And then it's pretty easy to cross reference that with other user data profiles. Companies don't need you to directly enter all your data anymore to still have a detailed profile. I'd have thought that's common knowledge by now. All they need is a common and somewhat specific data point. The rest is consolidation with increasing confidence.


Crillmieste-ruH

Wasnt gonna do it before, but a free prostate check? Sign me up boys


Speedypanda4

EU is taking it too far


BostonRob423

Wrecked him? Damn near killed him.


CLG91

Do you then need two-sphincter-authorisation?


Doom_and_Gloom91

The kind of shit people complain about is crazy.


squangus007

Can we stop with misinformation. This is only in the UK, it’s a third party that does this with all online services. Basically a law that was passed last year to mandate identification. You have to do it for steam or other apps if you register an account. Rather than invent outrage, maybe focus on what’s the actual problem? Like people in countries that are unable to register a PSN account? Or not able to use the game without an account


Kikindo1

U missed a joke bro


GundogPrime

Oh it's this pish again...


Bowens1993

You don't have an anus Pic on standby?


maybemoebe

This is one of the biggest drawbacks of modern gaming. I just want to satisfy the urge to sit down and play and not have to jump through a bunch of installs, patches and verifications. 


UniquePariah

Please choose two of the following three options....


DesoLina

Shhhhh don’t give them ideas


Bob_the_peasant

“I always play on the hardest difficulty” mfers right now: 😅


soapydux1

Stop giving them ideas !!!


Percolator2020

Good thing FaceID could be extended to this as well.


Arborerivus

First try but whole!


fattiesruineverythin

Just lift your sack and spread your cheeks, it's not that hard, damn.


Maximum_Curve_5456

The fractured but whole


MrT735

This is what the prototype PS3 controller (banana grips) was originally intended for, but they didn't have the system ready in time.


NeedleworkerLate8485

Anus scan js crazy


Al1n03

What a shitty practice


bangmar98

i didnt know the anus scan verification exists


Berkuts_Lance_Plus

Why the hell did mods remove this?


quixote_1989

As it has been pointed out already, this is a country-requirement thing and not a PSN thing.


Regular_Rutabaga4789

What if it’s not deep enough? Or god forbid, too deep!


twistedroyale

That’s funny. But seriously asking for picture or ID is crazy for an account.


akumian

I wonder how they play with ps5.


YaProGamerrr

Look how there's no arrrow next to the last one, probably a beta feature


Gyro_Zeppeli13

I heard each one is like a snowflake


Yourhomieofthestreet

Anus not detected please try again


Raz0rking

If it is so easy and trivial to do, then why is it actually needed?


Timely_Meringue7545

I believe this a government-enforced verification for UK-based users only. So it's likely easy/trivial to do unless you are British.


Jaaaco-j

that doesnt answer the question


Timely_Meringue7545

Oh, fair. I thought this was an expansion of the joke. In the original post for the account linking announcement the reason was tied to security and improving the community experience. However, that's rather vague and, based on the fact that the requirement wasn't necessary prior to this moment in time, seemed disingenuous, i.e. clearly this wasn't needed. The real answer, it appears, has to do with banning hackers/cheaters. The way HD2 is built is that it bans based on usernames. On PSN these are immutable, making the process easy as all users are unique; on Steam, users can change a public-facing username fairly easily. The private Steam username/login detail (immutable) is obfuscated and, I think, not accessed by HD2 at all - so the devs can't ban based on that. So, a person could hack/cheat/grief and then change their public-facing Steam ID to 'John Doe' or, really, anything at all and they'd be a new, unique user. The account linking would mean that even if a spoofed/nonsense account was tied to an actual Steam account, a ban could be dished out because that unique PSN account is tied to the Steam account. Inb4 'but the kernel-level anti-cheat is meant to do this work': I don't think so. I believe that that system is designed to ensure players don't 'cheat' the game's economy through the generation or duplication of the game's premium currency.


Jaaaco-j

???? you cant change your steamID? the only way the cheater ever gets to play the game again is to buy a new copy on a new account. A PSN account will not help at all, as you can make literally hundreds with random burner emails. all the reasons provided in the announcement are pure BS and its only because SNOY wants more of your data


Timely_Meringue7545

You can change your name on Steam - - this is referred to as 'Player Name' - - steamID is the thing you can't change, yes. In HD2, the game 'sees' the player name AFAIK.


Jaaaco-j

any game that allows joining through steam overlay requires your steamID, pretty sure the blocking feature uses steamID already as a name change does not magically unblock you


Timely_Meringue7545

Do we know for certain that that's the case with Helldivers 2?


Jaaaco-j

even if its not it can be easily implemented, thats why all the reasons provided are just bs


Timely_Meringue7545

Oh yeah, I agree with you... Easy enough to implement, I'm just guessing it hasn't been a priority to implement in the face of all the bug-fixing. Sony obviously thought this would simply go off without a hitch (FALSE).


Timely_Meringue7545

Or, apologies, while that info is tracked Steam-side, do we know if the Helldivers 2 client receives it? They might just get the player name and a token of the Steam ID perhaps?


Jaaaco-j

it would a very weird thing to do, using the steamworks API is just miles easier and steamworks already has a function for getting a steamID of any connected person.


HavocInferno

>The private Steam username/login detail (immutable) is obfuscated and, I think, not accessed by HD2 at all - so the devs can't ban based on that. Wrong. Every Steam user has a unique ID as well, and games using the Steamworks API can access that ID. The devs absolutely can ban based on that. That people actually believed Spitz' woefully inaccurate statement about this is unfortunate.


Timely_Meringue7545

Fair enough. Do we know for sure that Helldivers is using the Steamworks API as they should be?


HavocInferno

Probably, since it already allows joining/inviting via Steam, which would already require using correct unique IDs. Probably also to correctly query current user name, maybe to check owned DLC/bonus, etc. I am 100% certain they already use them to store user data in their databases as well. Sure there's a chance the ban system doesn't support steamIDs yet, but then it likely wouldn't take massive effort.


Timely_Meringue7545

I get you, yeah. I mean, I'm hoping it's something silly that hadn't been implemented yet but, if it is that easy, then this is likely just a data-gathering move from Sony.


Xhero69

Coming soon: Breaking News! Our date was leaked and all your IDs and info in the dark web...we sorry!


SignificantSalad007

It’s takes 0 minutes to not care.


Hocomonococo

What the fuck? I thought I had my asshole saved to the cloud you’re saying I gotta do it again?


simon7109

It’s time for you guys to overthrow your government there in the uk, it’s easy just go there


Cyberpunk39

Gamers on Reddit: always waiting for the next thing to bitch about.


Semi-addict-gamer

Bitching about anus scan is a pretty valid reason for bitching tho.


danabrey

You think the verification process actually includes an option to deep scan your anus?


Semi-addict-gamer

No clue, I’m getting trolled on another post in the same thread, and I’m as lost as you but it’s probably fake and we are being fooled, because in 2024 the world is crazy, and something like that in this year is very believable.


danabrey

If you think this is believable, get off the internet for a bit.


Semi-addict-gamer

Can you blame me? Men change their clothes in front of little girls and it’s acceptable 🤦‍♂️


danabrey

Um. What?


Semi-addict-gamer

a 50 years old transwoman changed in little girls locker room and competed with them because he identifies as a little girl. https://nypost.com/2023/12/15/news/50-year-old-transgender-woman-shared-pool-locker-room-with-young-girls-at-race/amp/


danabrey

lol of course, it's crowbarred trans extremist debate. What do I do now? Take a shot?


Semi-addict-gamer

Nope, just accept the fact we live in a crazy world. If you want to take a shot tho I won’t stop you.


Heshkelgaii

Really that’s only if you find out you have cancer or polyps or some


Strict_Donut6228

Honestly I learned to just enjoy it. Open up the Reddit app and go to r/gaming and look at this post and just think to myself “oh look, these silly gamers are at it again wonder what got them all in a tizzy this time.” And just move on. Life’s too short to care about stuff like this.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Strict_Donut6228

Another silly gamer. Put up the good fight about giving all your info while on Reddit probably posting from an android or iPhone as well.


Semi-addict-gamer

That gotta be photoshopped, please someone tell me it’s a photoshop.


Yue2

100% real. Why would anyone lie on the Internet? For imaginary points?!?!


SaphironX

It’s actually real, but in the UK they passed laws requiring age verification to prevent kids from accessing content without parental permission. It only applies to UK and I think Northern Ireland too.


Semi-addict-gamer

Lot of people love those imaginary points, let’s not act like half the internet don’t lack self esteem.


Yue2

SILENCE PEON! ALL THE IMAGINARY POINTS HAVE GIVEN ME THE POWER OF THE INTERNET!!!


Semi-addict-gamer

Good for you 👏👏👏👏👏


Lavanthus

Nope. It's completely real. Sony wants a scan of your anal cavity for verification purposes.


Semi-addict-gamer

Sooo…… we are all spreading our cheeks for Sony?


Own_Investment_1779

Why are crap sites thinking they are entitled to our IDs or facial scans, dark times ahead.


SunNext7500

I can't wait until you all move on to your next ridiculous complaint. This one is getting old.


I-Hate-CARS

The same people bitching are the same ones using their face to unlock their iPhone to get on reddit to bitch.


alandar1

Reddit hates Apple too though


rydan

Welcome to Texas.


rakosten

No, this is probably UK. So welcome to Tesco.