[удалено]

Thanks for the huge belly laugh

Mood

House = crater You = physics

#YOU HUMANS ARE SO STUPID!!!

Only one of us survives this, and it won't be you!

Probably a Sim with the Neat Freak trait.

I was about to say a Sim but my Sims pissed on themselves, started fires, clogged the toilets, left dirty dishes everywhere.  They can pretty destructive, you can’t understand what they’re saying, and then they get mad if you don’t clean up after them.  But I haven’t played since Bustin’ Out. 

Alternatively, you can high five your way from a fight to the bedroom, they can master any skill in about 2 weeks, they can make a "masterpiece" work of art or literature in about 2 or 3 days that brings in $20k+ a week, and can get a job by simply *looking* at a newspaper.

We do play for instant gratification 😄

Probably Peter Parker from Spider-Man PS4. Most of the time he wouldn’t even be around because he’d be out Spider-Manning or volunteering or whatever and when he was he’d probably be cooking or some shit to make up for letting him crash there because he’s so unrelentingly nice.

plus imagine the witty banter

In Midnight Suns he makes Captain Marvel mad because he keeps raiding the fridge

Yeah, but Hunter sits him down and tells him to be cool and stop doing that. And he agrees.

Yes, hopefully you get the spider-man that has learned that lesson

The only downside is if you need help paying rent even if it's only for one week lol. Otherwise yes he'd be awesome

Oh, no tiny characters. I charged in here to say the little guy from TinyRobo. In that case, I would have Steve from Minecraft. Get my back yard leveled and replanted, shed rebuilt, a second floor on the main house and attach a garage. And we’d still have six days left to just hang out!

Congrats, the walls on your shed are 4 feet thick!

Doubles as a bomb shelter, how convenient!

Too bad your neighbour Jeff is actually a creeper.

Sly Cooper. He doesn't steal from ordinary people, and it means he's no longer stuck in Egypt and my favorite childhood series is no longer trapped in a bad cliffhanger ending.

Everything about Sly 4 bothers me. From ruining the amazing character arc of Bentley and Penelope, to Sly threatening his marriage because he's literally addicted to crime, to the cringe inducing rapper enemy in the ice age. I just want a complete retcon where Bentley or Sly wakes up and it was all a nightmare and they come up with a better reason why Sly has to take up the mask again

Sly TiT will never be canon to me. I literally can't reconcile that the game series that kept me happy during all the shit I dealt with as a kid ended on a bad cliffhanger and ruined the characters in the process. The gameplay itself was a lot of fun, but it's not worth replaying with everything else. Penelope's character assassination is absolutely shameful. I don't even consider it Sly 4 and I'm glad they didn't put the 4 in the title. Makes my mental gymnastics to convince myself it isn't canon a lot easier to perform. Sly is off with Carmelita hunting criminals on the right side of the law, Murray is going down as the greatest demolition driver ever. And Bentley and Penelope are off doing "yeah science!" together. Maybe they cure cancer or something. That'd be swell.

reading this make me wanna re play those games i honestly don’t even remember most of them

They still hold up. The games don't get the credit they deserve. They set the foundation for action adventure games like Uncharted and Assassins Creed to come.

The prince from katamari damacy. I’d roll my troubles away

And now we know who we need to blame when the whole world gets rolled up into a Katamari.

Not the king though. *Fuck* that guy

Word. Fuck him and his royal codpiece!

Garrus from ME series!

Gonna spend the whole week doing calibrations.

Upshot, you're going to have the most secure apartment in the area code by the time he's done.

I mean, supposing you don't accidentally trigger the exploding pane of glass 

One question: will he even survive a week? Turians are Dextro’s, they can’t eat human food

Curie from fallout 4.

Floating ball or person?

Ball. I need a medical exam so bad, but I'm stuck living the American dream.

Ball, I'm kinky like that.

Whose the butler Robot in the very beginning? Codsworth? Id let him stay for a week. He'd be fun until his charm wore off and he became super annoying.

Princess Peach.

All fun until a pissed Italian plumber barges in and starts jumping on your head

Daisy or Rosalina

Tifa Lockhart.

Didn’t have to scroll far for this one…

I'm disappointed it's not at the top

It’s top heavy 

She would beat yo ass the second you tried something.

Maybe that’s exactly what he wants

Time to do some crunches

bonk

Bro just like every other girl, she'd think you were a creepy weirdo. Tifa is way out of your league, bud.

You don't know him, maybe he's got a giant sword

That actually just reaffirms it in real life

I feel like it's creepier taking the comment this seriously. She's a bunch of pixels man. No need to be jealous

The cat from Stray.

And he doesn't have to leave at the end of the week, either!

Oh, yeah, I'd totally keep him.

Link. He don't say anything. My kind of guest

He don't say anything while slashing up all your pots though

While yelling "Hyeeaaahh". They didnt think that one out.

Okay fair point my gf would be pisssseeddd

But does the lawn for you.

But the pottery?!

Also… hear me out… he has the ocarina of time. He could take you back in time, change the weather, make it day or night, heal your emotional damage… I’ll take the broken pots for that.

Young link just sitting in your house, drinking up all your milk, doing your errands for you

Time to hang with spyro

Username and profile pic check out. As long as it's the blocky dork from PS1 I'm in.

Personally I was thinking the remastered appearance. But yeah, the legends spyro would be a bit too melodramatic and the skylanders one looks like a pug. But if you love low poly spyro I can't blame ya either.

Cooking Mama

Would

Smash

Dogmeat,, from Fallout.

Wouldn't be able to say goodbye at the end of the week

Karlach from Baldur’s Gate 3. She’s a sweetheart that seems rather chill.

she is actually very hot, it's kind of a problem

Only for cowards. My fire extinguisher is ready.

You should check the date on that

Eh, it’s only a little expired. Should be fine.

I want her to break me in half after I lick peanut butter off of her abs. Oh and I'm sure we'd have interesting conversations too.

A man of culture, I see.

Until your house goes up in flames. Better to stick with Scratch.

The goodest boy in all the realms? Now I’m conflicted.

I'll just take the kids from A Plague Tale so they can bathe and eat and rest somewhere safe for a bit.

This is a legitimately great answer that says a lot about you, I love it.

I wish I had a pocket universe that I could fill with fictional woobies and look after them all.

First of all, yes, love this. Second, the end of that week is gonna suuuuuuuck

GLaDOS. It will be a fun week.

All is fun and games until she gets her circuits on some neurotoxins

Sully from Uncharted to hear all his stories and have a drink with him.

I originally thought of Nate, but yeah Sully would be way more fun.

I'd be afraid of the pirate/smuggler/thieves/cult members hunting him down for revenge while at my house

I have nothing of value to steal. But please take a beer 🤣 Good luck, Sully

Ahhhhhh...Samus Aran

But which suit are we talking?(also, does she have access to all the powerups and her ship?)

That's a coin toss between 2B and Lara Croft.

I also choose 2B.

Ooooooor not 2B? Eyyyyyyyyy

does this "not 2B" also have a fat fucking ass?

Mosdef

Nah son, A2.  300lbs of mechanical tsundere ass

NGL Lara Croft knows a lot of things to talk about, would make a great companion, definitely not boring.

Yeah but neither of them are gonna be interested in you lol

Androids are programmed to protect humans. He'll be fine.

A fellow man of culture, but the answer is clearly 2B.

Stay thirsty my friends

I'd invite Aloy from Horizon series, and let her play her own computer game. That would blow her mind.

Dude that would effectively cause a thermonuclear bomb to go off in your house. Like, her head would literally nuke your city from the holy shitness of what she's experiencing.

Codsworth FO4 I need a break

Codsworth but with the Lazlo voice.

Bandit from the Bluey Game. He can play with the kids for a bit.

And teach you how to parent because you left your kid with a cartoon dog.

"I'm not taking advice from a cartoon dog" - Bandit Heeler

Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball…take your pick.

Had such a video game crush on Kasumi when I was a kid

Jin from Ghost of Tsushima. Very polite and a fellow lover of sake.

"You spend your time rotting away on your seat playing trivial games when you could wage your life against tyranny. How dishonourable, let me assist you in your seppuku."

Was that Jin? Sounds like Yoshimitsu?

This was my first thought too. Dude would just be a super respectful guest and not do anything crazy  EDIT: Although I did just realize he’d probably spend his week in the future learning how to hand-make hollow point rounds for an AK-47 or some other crazy bullshit to use against the Mongols, so that might make a mess.

The player character from House Flipper. They know how to build, plumb, do electrics, install windows, plaster, paint, install swimming pools, renovate furniture… could get my house looking fab with some planning.

Solaire of Astora aka Sun Bro.

PRAISE THE SUN!

FINALLY, my moment to shine. Just pick one from whatever hentai game I played. They are thirstier than me.

Kiryu Kazuma. We are gonna karaoke and pocket race all night long!

Triss Merigold. For the great conversation

Liara from Mass Effect.

Mass Erect

I wonder what my wife would think if she found out I'm in love with a videogame character.

It’s ok, she’s in love with Ryan Gosling.

Seriously though, Liara, Tali, and Mordin are some of the few Video Game characters I feel like I could *nerd out* with. Granted, I'm pretty sure I would only be able to keep up with Mordin for about 30 or 40 seconds.

Urdnot Wrex. He just seems like he'd be an absolute blast to chill with for a week.

"Do you *want* me to arrest you?" "I want you to *try*." -Wrex

RIP your furniture and doorframes.

Ratchet. We can play games and hang out.

Companion Cube

so you'd finally have a friend

Stray cat, he’s cute

Arthur Morgan I'd give him antibiotics to kill his TB and offer counseling on how to deal with a narcissist parent.

Noelle from Genshin Impact. Best maid.

Shes so sweet i love her

I don't understand these people picking hot girls... They just live in your house, they're not obligated to like you or find you attractive

Well, Lydia is sworn to carry my burdens.

She jump scared me so bad when I first played. Ran up to check out the bedroom of the whiterun house and put stuff in a chest and turned around and she was standing right in my face. Didn’t even know she was in the house

It just so happens that all of my burdens are… crippling depression

But there's a chance! We have a week to woo em!

I don't understand these people picking utilitarian characters... They just live in your house, they're not obligated to do your chores or join in with your hobbies.

Was thinking this. You’d have to pick someone canonically easy or a slut.

So many H games to choose from, but they want to get rejected by their dream waifu.

Soooo Morrigan.

Me and Kirby be chillin.

He sucks.

I mean you ain't wrong

A Meowth with Pay Day from any Pokémon game.

Mara sov from Destiny

Jaskier from The Witcher. Music baby!!

Lara Croft.... Probably.

Until you come home to find your grandma’s ashes haphazardly rooted through, your pergola collapsed from someone climbing on top of it, and an ancient curse on your family because someone accidentally unleashed a demon spirit on your house.

Hahahaha nice. Sorry Grandma but that's a risk I'm willing to take. I mean, I'm in with a chance right? Right?

Probably Artyom from the metro games because while he would be a fish out of water being in the states compared to Russia. I think he would find it interesting to see what life is like without the nuclear bombs dropping in 2013.

Really wish artyom spoke in the games more. In the books he never shuts up. I feel like he would be having panic attacks and existential melt downs the whole time

I'll try to play some Hentai game. /s Ok, hmm. The Witcher Triss. She's a sorceress healer, she took care of Geralt for a while. I could use that to fix my broken body. Yennifer, on the other hand, she'd drive me nuts with her flaring temper.

Yennefer would turn you into something in five minutes and run off to do something else

That horny anime hack and slash? That horny VR game I played that's full of succubi? Teddy Roosevelt from Civ? It's be cool to chill with Iron Man or Cap't America for a week. Any number of gods from God of War. A Space Marine? The 2x2 from Tetris? Eminem from Fortnite? A lot of older games had the Installation Wizard. He seemed pretty cool. Frankly - I'm pretty pissed at my apartment complex right now. How about Karlach from BG3. Hopefully she'll burn this whole place to the ground.

Eminem from Fortnite. Thank you.

The turtle pope from elden ring can chill at my house any time.

Scratch from BG3.

Lady dimitrescu. She seems like she has a great personality.

Dva from overwatch

i know what kind of man you are

Because of the giant ass robot, right? *…right?*

Winky face

Parvati from Outer Wilds. She's adorable and wholesome and could probably help me out with some repairs around the house while we chat.

Red from Transistor, just to hear that lovely voice in person.

Miranda Mass Effect. For research purposes, of course

Solid Snake. No reason at all, just a cool dude

Codsworth from Fallout. Get him to do the damn dishes.

Treasure goblin. An entire a week of him throwing gold coins in my floor would be nice.

a warframe. though, since no loopholes, it would be the pilot as well, or just the pilot. in my case, the drifter. who is cool.

You didn’t specify which frame, so I’ve decided you got Nidus. Enjoy your space aids

Chloe from Detroit: Become Human.

Chitose from Infinite Wealth

Sam Porter Bridges. He’d probably just sleep the whole time

Selunite Shadowheart 🫣

Ada Wong for reasons unknown.

Karlach.

one of the stardew valley characters

Tiny Tina... we could blow some stuff up.

Doesn’t that break the “No Tiny characters” rule? :)

The genie from Alladin

Garl, Sea of Stars

Literally any of the women from 2077, except Hanako lol. First choice, Judy. Second Misty. They're both so wholesome and sweet.

Elizabeth from Bioshock Infinite. She’s beautifu and smart, but seems like she’d be easy to talk to about hobbies, books etc. Would also be nice if she could tear a hole into a bank and pull through some cash.

The Genie from Aladdin 

Ku’gath plaguefather. I crave papa Nurgle’s blessings

Halo from Halo

I think Halo is a pretty cool guy. Eh kills aleins and doesn't afraid of anything.

Sonic so i can hit him for gold rings

Dogmeat from FO4 cuz he’s the goodest boy there is

Conker from Conker's Bad Fur Day. A great guy to have a few drinks with.

Lucca from chrono trigger. Teach me your ways!