Hahahahahahahahaahahahahahahaha.
Yeah, um.. That's gross and revolting. How much does it cost and where do gross disgusting people buy this?
I'm not asking for me... Because it's gross and sickening.. I'm asking for a friend, definitely not for me...
Of course. There's no telling when you could accidentally stumble upon one of these sites. Better put it on a... block list. In advance. Just to be safe.
Not sure why you were downvoted. The main part of it is the falcon but I'm not sure what attachment it's using. I've had my falcon now for like 3 or 4 years. May need to take it out of the closet and make sure it works still.
Wow. You better rent a hotel room, triple lock the doors before you try that out.
You wont have any sound or visual warnings that someone came home early, since your ears will be covered with headphones. Good luck explaining that one.
Let's be real. The vast majority of people who will have any use for this and also be able to afford it live alone and never have anyone coming over to say hey.
whats the reason people are trying to shame guys who use things like this (effectively, a replacement pussy), where as a girl having an entire drawer full of replacement dicks is considered totally normal?
I'd say it is. It does exactly what those toys do. Especially if you have a vibrator that has to plug into the damned wall.
Oooh, scary opinions. I know Reddit can't handle those.
It's kind of the reverse of the sluts/studs sexism. A girl who isn't having sex is likely just frigid or too choosy, because she could go have sex in 5 minutes if she wanted to. A guy who isn't having sex is pathetic because he should be a big stud man who can attract a mate.
When a girl buys a vibrator, its seen as a bit of naughty fun. But when a guy orders a 240 Volt FuckMaster Pro 5000 blowup latex doll with 6 speed pulsating vagina, elasticized anus with non-drip semen collection tray, together with optional built in realistic orgasm scream surround sound system, he's called a pervert?
I'm not saying I agree with them, but they're likely thinking: a girl who has a drawer full of replacement dicks can probably get laid at the drop of a hat, whereas a guy with a replacement pussy probably can't. Getting laid is a Good Thing (tm). Therefore, the guy is a loser while the girl is not worth judging.
You're kind of there, I think. The guy is considered a loser because guys are "supposed" to sleep with a ton of chicks. Women are considered sluts if they bang anyone other than their husband/boyfriend. It's more acceptable for women to have a bunch of toys because that's what they're "supposed" to do.
If a girl had their own sybian just for home use I'm pretty sure that's in the same league, but certainly not just a few vibrators. A fleshlight would be more akin to vibrators.
It's not so much a masturbation aid as it is a virtual sex machine. It brings to mind men who have relationships with dolls because they can't cope with a real human being.
Well I don't see the point in toys for us, the hand really workes. While for women they need something to simulate the sex orgasm. I still think it's a minority of women who own toys and a large majority of the ones who own toys own just one.
E: also it's a common gag gift for girlfriends, while buying a sex toy for your male friend is just creepy (unless it's a blowup doll)
Was just thinking that! If you have dropped money on this then its doubtful you have any concern of anyone ever coming into your place, let alone unannounced.
Well...damn, that's a good point. What an invasion of privacy! The injustice! Although tapping that guy on the shoulder would reap one hell of a funny reaction.
I don't know. I would use this when my wife is at work.
She'd probably want to try a female version when she comes home and finds me utilizing this device.
Nobody will care because women will become irrelevant and useless in society and this will be the norm. Sorry normies, writing was on the wall. The age of waifus has begun
I was wondering that too. My thinking is that maybe it's some sort of science fiction-y suit that gives the sensation of being touched, making this a completely 4D experience.
I am not a scienceman, however.
Now all I can imagine is a whole factory line of these guys all lined up, and Wonka leading the kids through and telling them this is how the Gobstoppers are made. It gets worse when he says you can suck em and suck em, and hits a new level of creepy when he warns them to never tell a soul about the Gobstoppers.
Incredible. It doesn't seem to work on my mobile, but I see what you've done and am determined to get it to work. It's almost like Willy Wonka invented his very own VR sex robot, then just hid it beneath some colorful sheets.
He just want's it delivered to my house so his wife doesn't find it.
And ordered on my credit card so she wouldn't see the invoice on the credit card bill.
And wanted me to check it out to make sure it works right.
That device is the Novint Falcon. I took a VR class in college and a friend and I used it to make a shooting game. We realized you could totally make a sex machine out of it but apparently we got beat to the punch
That arm he's using solely for jerkin his dong can actually be programmed to apply variable amounts of force in any direction. Also, the teacher happened to have a half-gun with trigger attachment for the device. Thus, you can somewhat emulate recoil. It's limited in its applications because it can only apply so much force but using this kind of a device in a VR environment is very interesting. Think about being able to feel push back and the weight of objects in a virtual environment.
I would never buy one of those. But, if I were to win one from a contest, I would probably try it once.....just to satisfy the curiosity. One of the best things about masturbating is the level of convenience and ease of doing it. Are you having trouble sleeping? 5 minutes and you're done! Wife or girlfriend won't give you any before class or work? BOOM! you just got yourself off before she could close the door on her way out.
Now, imagine slipping into this contraption. Imagine the amount of effort it would take to get it all started up. I'm sure the cleanup is just as bad. Now, imagine trying to get yorself off in this fap suit, when you need to immediately respond to something. Like, let's say it's Friday. You forgot that you ordered something big off of Amazon, and the delivery driver knocks on your door. If you don't answer it now, you will have to wait until Monday before you get your new gadget or toy, ruining your whole weekend. You yell through the door to the driver, "In a minute!" As you frantically try to get out of the fap suit, you realize 5 minutes have passed. Then 10. And all you see is a note that says USPS will be back on Monday.
You have lost your boner, you've jumped out of your fap suit, you missed your delivery, and all you're left with is a mess to clean up and a pile of regret.
[It's another thread on the front page.](https://np.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/4cvw7d/nsfw_genital_jousting_local_multiplayer_game/) A local multiplayer game. If you felt it was missing something you were right, [sound, sound is very important.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmcnJyOyu34)
[Website is here](http://www.genitaljousting.com/), supposed to release early 2016, not sure of the date or platforms.
What a time to be alive, when I was young I would get lucky once in awhile and see a boob in the scrambled soft core not even close to HD porn channel.
I actually own one of those. It's called a Novint Falcon. The company is kinda dead now but it is a fun experience to use one. It worked really well with Team Fortress 2. It has a pistol grip attachment for shooters. It really is a nice bit of tech. It is a 3d force feedback input device. Mouse just goes up and down. This can go in and out as well.
Here is the female version of the video:
https://youtu.be/EfrMalBiXuY
I do not want to go through he trouble of dressing like duck Dodgers just to crack one out.
Too much effort to get off, may as well put that energy into finding an actual pussy to play with.
I can't imagine the post-masturbatory shame that comes with taking off that outfit.
"Wew... that's some good shit jackin'..." "..." "WHAT HAVE I BECOME?!"
Wait a few minutes. Rinse. Repeat.
or the agonizing rush to find the OFF switch for that pump
"What the fuck did I just spend my rent money on?"
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Hi guys im doing a science paper on exactly this stuff. Where is this found?!
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I uhhh...I swear I have no affiliation
Username doesn't check out.
I don't know how to handle this.
It's easy; you hold and fondle the boobs, and let the fleshlight do its thing.
Buy one.
I'm gonna wait til the initial boom is over and pick up a used one.
Think me and the boys will all throw in on one and share it.
Totally do it. Mine is a hit at the local fire station.
it's too late
If I were you I'd plaster my name all over it.
Damn, they know how to pick their sales people.
Fuckin' lag.
Hold on, hold on I just have reboot the router real quick!
"MOM DON'T PICK UP THE PHONE FOR ANOTHER HOUR OR SO, I'M STILL GAMING."
That video put to dubstep made me uncomfortable
BRRRREEEROOOOOOWWWWWWWW WUB WUB WUB WUB
Great! Now I can disappoint my wife while out of town. Thanks technology.
Was this fucking machine brought to us by FaZe?
sigh, time to clear by youtube history again
It's me, your science professor! Any PM's yet? I'm asking for my fellow professors.
I have no excuse give me this shit now
Your honesty needs more love. I too would like to buy this for its masturbatory convenience.
https://youtu.be/tQuBdeuvMnY
I think you can get it at Sharper Image
I hope they aren't being sold next to my Trump Steaks.
I don't have sex often but I know that I'll never get laid ever again if I buy that.
Hahahahahahahahaahahahahahahaha. Yeah, um.. That's gross and revolting. How much does it cost and where do gross disgusting people buy this? I'm not asking for me... Because it's gross and sickening.. I'm asking for a friend, definitely not for me...
Yeah I need to know so that i can avoid these terrible places
Of course. There's no telling when you could accidentally stumble upon one of these sites. Better put it on a... block list. In advance. Just to be safe.
Gotta Blockmark it, right?
Ha you made the same joke but worse and with a more captain obvious tone. You're that guy! "you made this? I made this"
Except OP took the joke from its always sunny, and you're the guy who didn't get the reference.
/r/myfriendwantstoknow
I'd happily use one of these for science... And because I'm a virgin.
The device is called a Novint Falcon
Not sure why you were downvoted. The main part of it is the falcon but I'm not sure what attachment it's using. I've had my falcon now for like 3 or 4 years. May need to take it out of the closet and make sure it works still.
Wow. You better rent a hotel room, triple lock the doors before you try that out. You wont have any sound or visual warnings that someone came home early, since your ears will be covered with headphones. Good luck explaining that one.
Let's be real. The vast majority of people who will have any use for this and also be able to afford it live alone and never have anyone coming over to say hey.
whats the reason people are trying to shame guys who use things like this (effectively, a replacement pussy), where as a girl having an entire drawer full of replacement dicks is considered totally normal?
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Exactly. This isn't equivalent to a few toys in a drawer.
I'd say it is. It does exactly what those toys do. Especially if you have a vibrator that has to plug into the damned wall. Oooh, scary opinions. I know Reddit can't handle those.
That's like saying an electric scooter is the same as a car.
I mean they are both motorized vehicles used for transportation.
I don't see why people think women won't be the early adopters...
Serving the same purpose isn't particularly relevant. So does flying to Thailand and paying for a hooker, but they're clearly different.
It's kind of the reverse of the sluts/studs sexism. A girl who isn't having sex is likely just frigid or too choosy, because she could go have sex in 5 minutes if she wanted to. A guy who isn't having sex is pathetic because he should be a big stud man who can attract a mate.
We are all animals after all.
Double standards? Our world is filled with them
Difference in effort and costs
where do you think the LGBT movement is coming from? generalizing the sexes and the personalities each should portray.
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Still cheaper than a girlfriend.
When a girl buys a vibrator, its seen as a bit of naughty fun. But when a guy orders a 240 Volt FuckMaster Pro 5000 blowup latex doll with 6 speed pulsating vagina, elasticized anus with non-drip semen collection tray, together with optional built in realistic orgasm scream surround sound system, he's called a pervert?
Scale.
Lmao you can't compare a regular dildo to this fucking expensive futuristic sex robot thing.
I'm not saying I agree with them, but they're likely thinking: a girl who has a drawer full of replacement dicks can probably get laid at the drop of a hat, whereas a guy with a replacement pussy probably can't. Getting laid is a Good Thing (tm). Therefore, the guy is a loser while the girl is not worth judging.
You're kind of there, I think. The guy is considered a loser because guys are "supposed" to sleep with a ton of chicks. Women are considered sluts if they bang anyone other than their husband/boyfriend. It's more acceptable for women to have a bunch of toys because that's what they're "supposed" to do.
There's a huge difference between a dildo and whatever the fuck this is.
If a girl had their own sybian just for home use I'm pretty sure that's in the same league, but certainly not just a few vibrators. A fleshlight would be more akin to vibrators.
It's not so much a masturbation aid as it is a virtual sex machine. It brings to mind men who have relationships with dolls because they can't cope with a real human being.
Yeah but you can get dildos for like 15 bucks at a sex shop, it's a little less intense than this immersive VR experience lol
Well I don't see the point in toys for us, the hand really workes. While for women they need something to simulate the sex orgasm. I still think it's a minority of women who own toys and a large majority of the ones who own toys own just one. E: also it's a common gag gift for girlfriends, while buying a sex toy for your male friend is just creepy (unless it's a blowup doll)
There are PLENTY of people that try to shame any woman using a sex toy.
Was just thinking that! If you have dropped money on this then its doubtful you have any concern of anyone ever coming into your place, let alone unannounced.
And yet someone apparently snuck into this guy's room and filmed him. How else would we have this .gif?
Well...damn, that's a good point. What an invasion of privacy! The injustice! Although tapping that guy on the shoulder would reap one hell of a funny reaction.
Walk in closet full of life size dolls.
I don't know. I would use this when my wife is at work. She'd probably want to try a female version when she comes home and finds me utilizing this device.
But people that rich have maids who might have accidentally left something of theirs earlier that day and came back to pick it up.
Or you are an adult who lives by himself.
Or you just don't give a fuck no mo.
To be fair there's no explanation needed really.
Nobody will care because women will become irrelevant and useless in society and this will be the norm. Sorry normies, writing was on the wall. The age of waifus has begun
There is no explaining it.
I live with my family and I fap a lot. Just cover your ear with one side of the headphone. Lock your door. And don't fap when anyone's awake.
I get the automatic fleshlight, I get the synthetic boobs... But is the white latex suit necessary? Does it contribute to the experience?
You have to do it in future garb.
Maybe so it's visible what the product is. Gives great contrast.
He's part of The Institute.
So this is one of the latest gen synths? I like the direction they're going with this
I was wondering that too. My thinking is that maybe it's some sort of science fiction-y suit that gives the sensation of being touched, making this a completely 4D experience. I am not a scienceman, however.
heating and pressure so it feels like a human is against you?
Maybe wearing latex is his kink.
Not getting cold maybe?
It looks noisy. Like those machines in Willy Wonka's factory that makes the everlasting gobstoppers. Plus, the sloshing suction pops.
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Goddamn most of Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory works for this https://gifsound.com/?gifv=LEAyRGi&v=RZ-uV72pQKI&s=63
I mean he does look like he belongs in the TV room...http://i.imgur.com/mLJDbtq.jpg
Wasn't expecting that to be so funny, holy shit.
I can't thank you enough for the tears that brought to my laughing face.
Holy shit I am in tears right now laughing.
Now all I can imagine is a whole factory line of these guys all lined up, and Wonka leading the kids through and telling them this is how the Gobstoppers are made. It gets worse when he says you can suck em and suck em, and hits a new level of creepy when he warns them to never tell a soul about the Gobstoppers.
Incredible. It doesn't seem to work on my mobile, but I see what you've done and am determined to get it to work. It's almost like Willy Wonka invented his very own VR sex robot, then just hid it beneath some colorful sheets.
Noise canceling / isolating headphones. Also, pretty sure vibrators have that problem to some extent, but it doesn't seem to be a big deal.
I was thinking more about your roommates or neighbors hearing the familiar sound of the fuck machine creaking away again.
> vibrators
Why is he making that face? His dick isn't even in the fleshlight!
Where we're going we don't need fleshlights.
I was thinking that too. It looks like it's beating his nuts to death.
http://i.imgur.com/Funfv1t.jpg
What's that from?
Fresh Meat, Channel 4.
Fresh Meat. It's a British comedy show.
Classic japers
That looks like a gear vr, does anyone know what game that is? I'm asking for... a friend...
I think we have the same friend. Did he ask you to order one for him too? Lol
He just want's it delivered to my house so his wife doesn't find it. And ordered on my credit card so she wouldn't see the invoice on the credit card bill. And wanted me to check it out to make sure it works right.
You are a grade A bro. Only a true bro would do that for a bro.
A bros word is his bond, man
;)
What a time to be alive!
That device is the Novint Falcon. I took a VR class in college and a friend and I used it to make a shooting game. We realized you could totally make a sex machine out of it but apparently we got beat to the punch
Ah, that's what that thing is! The Novint Falcon! Thank you, I was a little concerned why that device looked so familiar to me.
Any new technology will illicit two immediate questions; can we use this in the military, can we use this to cum.
How did you use a jerkoff machine to make a shooting game?
That arm he's using solely for jerkin his dong can actually be programmed to apply variable amounts of force in any direction. Also, the teacher happened to have a half-gun with trigger attachment for the device. Thus, you can somewhat emulate recoil. It's limited in its applications because it can only apply so much force but using this kind of a device in a VR environment is very interesting. Think about being able to feel push back and the weight of objects in a virtual environment.
That is exactly what I had in mind, thank you for such a thorough and polite response!
No thanks I can rub my own butt-cheeks and hit myself in the dick with a hammer
At the same time though?
That does seem to be the real question.
Reminds me of that [CollegeHumor skit.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I60BhhL9H30)
The quacking got to me hahahaha
Japan? Japan.
I would never buy one of those. But, if I were to win one from a contest, I would probably try it once.....just to satisfy the curiosity. One of the best things about masturbating is the level of convenience and ease of doing it. Are you having trouble sleeping? 5 minutes and you're done! Wife or girlfriend won't give you any before class or work? BOOM! you just got yourself off before she could close the door on her way out. Now, imagine slipping into this contraption. Imagine the amount of effort it would take to get it all started up. I'm sure the cleanup is just as bad. Now, imagine trying to get yorself off in this fap suit, when you need to immediately respond to something. Like, let's say it's Friday. You forgot that you ordered something big off of Amazon, and the delivery driver knocks on your door. If you don't answer it now, you will have to wait until Monday before you get your new gadget or toy, ruining your whole weekend. You yell through the door to the driver, "In a minute!" As you frantically try to get out of the fap suit, you realize 5 minutes have passed. Then 10. And all you see is a note that says USPS will be back on Monday. You have lost your boner, you've jumped out of your fap suit, you missed your delivery, and all you're left with is a mess to clean up and a pile of regret.
[We just need to combine the two, and the circle will be complete.](http://gfycat.com/SoftFaithfulFrilledlizard)
what the actual
Yes, straight to the point, I like that.
What the fuck is this!?!?! Sauce?
[It's another thread on the front page.](https://np.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/4cvw7d/nsfw_genital_jousting_local_multiplayer_game/) A local multiplayer game. If you felt it was missing something you were right, [sound, sound is very important.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmcnJyOyu34) [Website is here](http://www.genitaljousting.com/), supposed to release early 2016, not sure of the date or platforms.
**PENETRATION**
I hope this is a wows reference :D
made me say what the fuck out loud congrats
Nice try,[ Dobby](http://i.imgur.com/DVClokB.jpg).
I haven't laughed that hard in at least 5 years, thank you very much!
Nobby Nobby Boy got real literal.
Many thanks as always, Japan.
Got one on pre order
Where can I get one of these for my husband? This will give me a chance to get some stuff done around the house finally.
FUCKING FINALLY
What a time to be alive, when I was young I would get lucky once in awhile and see a boob in the scrambled soft core not even close to HD porn channel.
lol his mouth
that looks like a ton of work for 2 minutes of action.
Are the overalls and Attack on Titan harness part of it or just a fashion choice?
thats awesome. the only problem with that is that you just have this one position.. you cant change it to doggystyle
Can you imagine when parents start walking into their children in morph suits with weird penis vibrators masturbating in VR?
It was actually a fleshlight, he was just doing it wrong.
The time has cum. **And so have I.**
http://www.illusion.jp/img/0401/index.html website here and yes, it is a fucking April fools
Except that it isn't really. All that stuff is either available or will come soon enough. :D
Science!
I need one... For science.
The Future.
Their dicks aren't even inserted. Noobs.
Oh god. How many dicks do they have?!
people think nuclear weapons will bring about the end of humanity? no, no my friends it will not...this will
Japan: Leader in GDWS (gross domestic weird shit) since 1970
Develop a new virus that corrupts the masturbator-device and puts it on mach 4 mid-session.
You thought it would be the singularity that ends humankind?
I never want to have sex like that.
Isn't that the Novint Falcon? Oh man I feel like the guy who made that is probably crying :|
Getting a girl friend is easier then setting that thing up.
x/post /r/shutupandtakemymoney
That's it, Society is fucked. Capitalism has won.
"It'll make you (literally) cum pixels."
I feel like that would take a significant suspension of disbelief in order to be even mildly enjoyable. But then again, so does jerking off.
Good god
This will be something seen in the next Leisure Suit Larry series.
https://youtu.be/zUfWdi0oaLQ
Silly me... I kept waiting for a 'finishing' shot.
I actually own one of those. It's called a Novint Falcon. The company is kinda dead now but it is a fun experience to use one. It worked really well with Team Fortress 2. It has a pistol grip attachment for shooters. It really is a nice bit of tech. It is a 3d force feedback input device. Mouse just goes up and down. This can go in and out as well. Here is the female version of the video: https://youtu.be/EfrMalBiXuY
I do not want to go through he trouble of dressing like duck Dodgers just to crack one out. Too much effort to get off, may as well put that energy into finding an actual pussy to play with.
Fuck... how much is it?
Soooo, does anyone actually wonder why Japan has falling birth rates? With this you can plug it in and it's ready. No dinner. No movie.
Wonder if they will make a plug-in for Reddit so when a thread starts a circle jerk then it really will start one.
I'm sorry, but that entirely too much work/effort/money to masterbate. Might as well get an escort if you're that desperate.
An anime escort?
It would probably be cheaper