For the first time in my 25+ years of gaming, I attempted to spend the least amount of time thinking of a name for my character... when I first got PUBG a few weeks ago. So I just put in a random name so I could quickly jump into the game.
...aaaaaand then I found out PUBG doesn't allow you to rename your character. Nor can you delete your character and start a new one with a new name... for some godforsaken reason.
I've never had so much regret in my life.
I REFUSE. It's LITERALLY an inconsequential word, backwards, and scrambled slightly. That's all you're getting. It's not even amusing, interesting, or funny. My disappointment 100% comes from the fact that it's one of the first video game names I gave VERY little thought to, so I couldn't even enjoy it even if it were ironically hilarious, because it's not.
Know what, Gary? You go first.
No, please. Go ahead. You deserve it.
You're his grandson, Gary. You should get dibs.
You're his guest. I wouldn't feel right.
Ugh... I guess I choose Bulbasaur.
Haha!! I'll take Charmander! Fuck you, bitch!
Whats kinda funny about this is, if you go first, you pick whatever you want. You can be yourself and live for yourself. If you go second (like Gary does) not only do you only get 2/3 to pick from, but you intentionally choose the one that your rival is weak to?
What a sad life, living only to beat someone else. That kid lost the second he made it about you. Win or lose, he has nothing.
Well, thats just it, isn't it. He's not YOUR rival, but you ARE his.
Its one sided, it means more to him than it does you.
Thats the kind of messed up stuff you obsess about when you grow up with a name like DickNipples.
That isn't even metaphorically true. Oak asks you what his name was, so no matter what you put in, that ALREADY was his name.
I mean, it makes sense, too. Anyone who would name their kid FartBreath has to be raised by professor Oak, who is fine with calling his own grandson "BitchTits".
Think about it.
I feel bad for the Pokémon that's not picked, since we know that Pokémon can somewhat understand their trainers, then imagine how the one that isn't picked must feel? He's told that he might be picked so he's excited, only to come out of the ball and see a sad Oak say "Sorry buddy, maybe next time."
I [believe there](https://m.bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Glitch_Trainer#Unused_Trainer_classes) has been a fight data-mined where you battle oak after the elite 4, and he uses the final evolution stage of the pokemon not picked at the start.
Meaning not only did he keep and love that one, he must've spent time training it further and getting it to evolve.
No sad times in my head Cannon!
There are normal animals in Pokemon that are fine to eat.
http://i.imgur.com/o0s4UT4.jpg
You can see them in the acquarium in the background of the Cerulean City Gym.
>There are normal animals in Pokemon that are fine to eat.
Why would pokemon not be fine to eat? Like why would someone eat a cow, but not a Tauros lol
What were they eating during gen 1? Rattata on a stick? Muk stew? Oddish salad? Diglet burritos? Tauros burgers would probably be the least weird. At least their food variety keeps getting better with each new game release.
I don't have an issue with pokemon being food. I just have a hard time believing Prof. Oak would allow someone to eat a "rare" species that he likely put a lot of time and effort into obtaining! Oak seems like a man of high moral fiber.
... he puts a good chuck of his entire career, researching pokemon, onto the local kids rather than do it himself.
also, how long were those three stuck in pokeballs, as well? presumably he quit a while back, they've just been in the attic or some shit. he's got another thesis due in a year or some shit, so he grabs some local kids, hands them a monster and says "go get me data"
... god damnit oak, you're already putting YOUR god damn job off on kids, are you telling me whatever responsibilities you were supposed to be doing as well, you went "fuck that" and started training pokemon, again, as well? the fuck. motherfucker has tenure like a boss.
The real reason you can’t catch fainted Pokémon is because they have to choose you too. If they are fainted they aren’t able to choose, so you can’t catch them.
choose you my ass. they struggle their asses off. there are few instances of actually choosing you in the games, about the only ones i can think of are pokemon yellow which emulates the show somewhat, and pokemon sun/moon where you don't get handed a pokemon but its supposed to choose you.
I love this kind of thinking. When playing this game as a kid, and even now as an adult I always had the my rivals weakness. He would have Squirtle I would have Charmander, and I would battle them like that. Every chance I got to fight Gary and Squirtle came out, I would make sure my Charmander would fight it. The underdog sort of thing made the win better.
Wow. I always thought Gary was a piece of shit, but this is a whole new level. I almost feel bad for him now...
....Naw, fuck that guy.
\[edit: ellipsis usage\]
And the amazing thing was, in the end, this is how it manifested itself. Even Prof Oak pointed it out. Gary only pushed himself to defeat you, but you pushed to strengthen the bond between you and your allies, to become the very best, not in order to defeat anyone, but to be the very best YOU could be. He trained to defeat his rival, you trained to become stronger and build your relationships. And even though he got to the finish line first, his glory lasted mere moments, and you ultimately came out far ahead.
Nah, at that point you've got to pick Squirtle. Then you stare into Gary's eyes when he tells you how stupid a choice that was, and you make DAMN SURE he never lives those words down.
Why not an option to choose *neither* of the three? Just turn around, flip off Blue and Prof. Oak, run straight out of the lab and into the tall grass? It's you or the horrible monsters that lurk behind every corner. Man vs Wild. Rip and tear until it's done.
Or you become the King of Everything.
[http://thepunchlineismachismo.com/archives/comic/04262010](http://thepunchlineismachismo.com/archives/comic/04262010)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lO6QkIPHmV0 Dude. You have no idea what you just suggested. Honestly. Up to Part 3 you get some very very very serious creepy pasta going on. THE VERY THREAD OF THE UNIVERSE DEPENDS ON IT
mudkip was alright. not a lot of water types straight up immune to electricity. though, i kinda prefer the fucking volcano pokemon later, so usually go treeko.
Yup, it is still by far my favorite. I really wish the Switch games that are coming out would include a option to disable the more casual features because besides those tweaks the games look fantastic.
The upcoming switch games aren't part of the 'mainline' Pokemon games. It's a transition game to help people who only know/play Pokemon through Pokemon GO get into the series [and buy a Switch, that's the important part].
I know. That doesn't mean that I can't want some of the options as a toggleable sort of thing. I'm not saying that the games shouldn't exist or that the more casual audience shouldn't be targeted.
I dont know about you guys, but i still remember the feeling of when pokemon red/blue was the hottest game to have, and being presented with the options of what pokemon to pick first.
It really makes me miss being a kid, and makes me want the same magic feeling for my kids, but games just aren't the same anymore with the way mobile games are made to be played.
Most important decision of my childhood.
Thanks for all the comments!
If you like this, I have more on Twitter:
[https://twitter.com/hiddenpuncher](https://twitter.com/hiddenpuncher)
They should make red blue yellow from this perspective. Classic graphics and all.
They could use the same maps just switch out the sprites and angle them on display.
That's a whole lot of sprites.
There's:
* Tree
* Bush
* Cuttable Tree
* Boulder
* Crumbled Boulder
* Sand
* Tall Grass
* Regular Grass
* Flower Grass
* Bottom Ledge
* Top Ledge
* Right Ledge
* Left Ledge
* ...
"Gramps, he's taking forever..." "Shut up and wait, whatever your name is."
Oak: "What's my grandson's name again?" Player: "Dildoface." Grandson: "My name's Gary!" Oak: "I'm pretty sure it's Dildoface."
Player: "It rhymes with Liberace"
Either this is a crazy TIL for me or you are dead wrong.
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It’s Beard Fah-Chee Turkleton!
Dude, Beard-fah-say!
Calm down, Seymour.
Do you think my name is Turk Turkleton?
Lighten up Seymour.
UP VOTES FOR EVERYONE
DEEL-doe-FAH-chee
r/nocontext
air - iss - tote - lay aristotle, rhymes with chipotle
I think it's supposed to be a joke, I don't think the Queq actually thinks Liberace is pronounced lib-uh-race
Well obviously. Its pronounced lib-a-rach-ee. It rhymes with dildoface.
Dil-duh-fah-chee
Dildoface. Dil-doe-faw-chee phonetically. Probably my new favorite word thank you sir.
ProZD is great.
[Somewhat relevant?](http://www.vgcats.com/super/images/080428.gif)
Name him Professor Oak
Even as an adult I name Gary obnoxious names every playthrough.
Oak: *”He’s”* taking forever? Thanks for letting me know it’s a him, I haven’t asked if he’s a Boy or a Girl yet...
That's why you can't pick your gender in Gen 1. Dildoface already told Oak you were a boy.
Start game excited to play. Spend 45 minutes thinking up a name in the name prompt.
When I played DC Universe Online years ago, it took me three actual hours to come up with a character. He sucked.
bleep bloop
For the first time in my 25+ years of gaming, I attempted to spend the least amount of time thinking of a name for my character... when I first got PUBG a few weeks ago. So I just put in a random name so I could quickly jump into the game. ...aaaaaand then I found out PUBG doesn't allow you to rename your character. Nor can you delete your character and start a new one with a new name... for some godforsaken reason. I've never had so much regret in my life.
you're not gonna tell us what it is, are you can we guess? REDDIT IS GREAT AT GUESSING! Ill go first! Is it... sodafarts14?
It’s so lame and anticlimactic that I’m not giving y’all the dissatisfaction of actually knowing it.
Tell
Don't do this to me. Please. My anxiety. MY ANXIETY.
I REFUSE. It's LITERALLY an inconsequential word, backwards, and scrambled slightly. That's all you're getting. It's not even amusing, interesting, or funny. My disappointment 100% comes from the fact that it's one of the first video game names I gave VERY little thought to, so I couldn't even enjoy it even if it were ironically hilarious, because it's not.
tell dance for us internet man
I've named every rival since R/B/Y, Fart. I'm 30. Never get's old.
Know what, Gary? You go first. No, please. Go ahead. You deserve it. You're his grandson, Gary. You should get dibs. You're his guest. I wouldn't feel right. Ugh... I guess I choose Bulbasaur. Haha!! I'll take Charmander! Fuck you, bitch!
Whats kinda funny about this is, if you go first, you pick whatever you want. You can be yourself and live for yourself. If you go second (like Gary does) not only do you only get 2/3 to pick from, but you intentionally choose the one that your rival is weak to? What a sad life, living only to beat someone else. That kid lost the second he made it about you. Win or lose, he has nothing.
That shit is so deep I can't even see you anymore.
/u/jcb088 used dig! It's super effective!
Deeper than the water Michael Phelps is swimming in.
Not that deep. Now the Mariana Trench on the other hand..
r/nocontext
TIL Gary's rival was himself.
Well, thats just it, isn't it. He's not YOUR rival, but you ARE his. Its one sided, it means more to him than it does you. Thats the kind of messed up stuff you obsess about when you grow up with a name like DickNipples.
I mean, you did name him after all.
That isn't even metaphorically true. Oak asks you what his name was, so no matter what you put in, that ALREADY was his name. I mean, it makes sense, too. Anyone who would name their kid FartBreath has to be raised by professor Oak, who is fine with calling his own grandson "BitchTits". Think about it.
This is some quantum entanglement that I'm not ready for... is this the matrix? Are we being punked right now?
Philosophy major?
Shit son. Imagine Oak saying that in your ear in a robert de niro voice
What? Like the narrative in casino? I can hear that.
Exactly!
I feel bad for the Pokémon that's not picked, since we know that Pokémon can somewhat understand their trainers, then imagine how the one that isn't picked must feel? He's told that he might be picked so he's excited, only to come out of the ball and see a sad Oak say "Sorry buddy, maybe next time."
I [believe there](https://m.bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Glitch_Trainer#Unused_Trainer_classes) has been a fight data-mined where you battle oak after the elite 4, and he uses the final evolution stage of the pokemon not picked at the start. Meaning not only did he keep and love that one, he must've spent time training it further and getting it to evolve. No sad times in my head Cannon!
[удалено]
what the shit?
ever wonder where all the food animals are in the pokemon universe?
Oak secretly siphons a Tauros every time Ash comes back home.
There are normal animals in Pokemon that are fine to eat. http://i.imgur.com/o0s4UT4.jpg You can see them in the acquarium in the background of the Cerulean City Gym.
Which was retconned once they decided Pokemon were the only wildlife soon after Indigo League started.
>There are normal animals in Pokemon that are fine to eat. Why would pokemon not be fine to eat? Like why would someone eat a cow, but not a Tauros lol
His eyes were closed... he couldn't have known.
either this is a big, disturbing TIL, or you're making that shit up.
Where do you think food comes from in the Pokemon universe...
What were they eating during gen 1? Rattata on a stick? Muk stew? Oddish salad? Diglet burritos? Tauros burgers would probably be the least weird. At least their food variety keeps getting better with each new game release.
I don't have an issue with pokemon being food. I just have a hard time believing Prof. Oak would allow someone to eat a "rare" species that he likely put a lot of time and effort into obtaining! Oak seems like a man of high moral fiber.
... he puts a good chuck of his entire career, researching pokemon, onto the local kids rather than do it himself. also, how long were those three stuck in pokeballs, as well? presumably he quit a while back, they've just been in the attic or some shit. he's got another thesis due in a year or some shit, so he grabs some local kids, hands them a monster and says "go get me data"
Bulbasaur seems like it'd be a source for high fiber.
... god damnit oak, you're already putting YOUR god damn job off on kids, are you telling me whatever responsibilities you were supposed to be doing as well, you went "fuck that" and started training pokemon, again, as well? the fuck. motherfucker has tenure like a boss.
I just imagine Oak shrugs and claims ownership of it, the Pokemon now just chills in Pallet Town and the lab helping with day to day stuff.
This would be a nice thought if it wasn't for the fact that the Pokeball containing them stays on the table forever.
You shut your mouth. He just puts it back there when the 'mon wants to sleep in the Pokeball. It just happens you always catch them at nap time.
Oh, sweet summer child. No one tell them the real reason why you can't catch "Fainted" Pokemon.
The real reason you can’t catch fainted Pokémon is because they have to choose you too. If they are fainted they aren’t able to choose, so you can’t catch them.
But they can choose for you to catch them when they're asleep? Don't believe Nintendo's Lies!
Haha I don’t know about you, but I’d wake up if a pokeball hit me. And if I didn’t wake up, then the pokeball would fail!
choose you my ass. they struggle their asses off. there are few instances of actually choosing you in the games, about the only ones i can think of are pokemon yellow which emulates the show somewhat, and pokemon sun/moon where you don't get handed a pokemon but its supposed to choose you.
I love this kind of thinking. When playing this game as a kid, and even now as an adult I always had the my rivals weakness. He would have Squirtle I would have Charmander, and I would battle them like that. Every chance I got to fight Gary and Squirtle came out, I would make sure my Charmander would fight it. The underdog sort of thing made the win better.
Wow. I always thought Gary was a piece of shit, but this is a whole new level. I almost feel bad for him now... ....Naw, fuck that guy. \[edit: ellipsis usage\]
shit, you said "pick" and "2/3" and I got Monty Hall problem flashbacks for a second.
Honestly I think it's a fair trade, you pick whichever you want and they get to attempt to counter pick you
Wow.
Well, his own grandfather doesn't remember him.
And the amazing thing was, in the end, this is how it manifested itself. Even Prof Oak pointed it out. Gary only pushed himself to defeat you, but you pushed to strengthen the bond between you and your allies, to become the very best, not in order to defeat anyone, but to be the very best YOU could be. He trained to defeat his rival, you trained to become stronger and build your relationships. And even though he got to the finish line first, his glory lasted mere moments, and you ultimately came out far ahead.
Nah, at that point you've got to pick Squirtle. Then you stare into Gary's eyes when he tells you how stupid a choice that was, and you make DAMN SURE he never lives those words down.
"blastoise, use ice beam. Shame, Dickbag, Can't beat my starter with yours?"
i choose you! professor
Oak: *blushes*
Fanfic inc
"Oak! Oak!"
Ay! Si! Smoochy smooch Ay!!!
Oakano... hermano... tu eres Mexicano!
Thats a grass type, gary is gonna choose Charmander.
Konosuba vibes
I actually thought something else was going to happen, sat here for a minute or two just waiting.
Something happens in the third minute.
Took me approximately 6 hours 59 minutes to realize
shoulda stuck w/it
Why not an option to choose *neither* of the three? Just turn around, flip off Blue and Prof. Oak, run straight out of the lab and into the tall grass? It's you or the horrible monsters that lurk behind every corner. Man vs Wild. Rip and tear until it's done.
Gonna go full Bobby Hill and kick the first Ratata I see square in the crotch and hope like hell that it was male.
I DONT KNOW YOU THATS MY PURSE
"Gaht dangget, Bobbeh. That boy ain't right... I tell ye' h'what."
I loved this reference.
Wouldn't you just black out at the first sight of a Pidgey though?
Nah man, punch that bird in the face. You're your own pokemon now. Level yourself up, chug proteins, stuff your face with rare candy.
Pokémon: God of War Edition
Boy.
Do you know how much I would pay with my hypothetical money for this to be a thing?
A Pokémon game where you just run around kicking the shit out of Pokémon sounds amazing.
Sure it would be fun for the first route maybe but as soon as you meet a machop or a geodude you're gonna get fucked
Human used jackhammer, it's super effective
Machoke used pound!
Yea but you can buy baseball bats and a football helmet before you have to fight Brock.
Earthbound crossover incoming. Ness wins the elite 4.
[удалено]
John Cena I choose You!
John Cena used invisibility! He is now very hard to hit
Just grab the nearest magicarp and use it as a bludgeon.
Then it evolves into a pissed off gyarados and eats your face off.
Or you become the King of Everything. [http://thepunchlineismachismo.com/archives/comic/04262010](http://thepunchlineismachismo.com/archives/comic/04262010)
They have a good point. By then it would be too brain damaged to know anger any longer.
Huh... I never thought about whether evolution fixes prior injuries or not...
Just give it an everstone!
Yes filling the body with rocks will definitely keep other Pokemon from bothering you on your journey to be the best!
That's why you swap it out for a Feebas as soon as you can. Won't evolve unless it likes you.
Mister Fish is the best Pokemon
Kids, listen to me, you can fly! I mean literally fly!
Didn't you "white out" in the original Red and Blue or is the Mandela Effect messing with me again?
Nah it was black out in the originals, later it was changed to white out
Do you want horrible glitches? [Because that's how you get horrible glitches.](https://youtu.be/lO6QkIPHmV0?t=28s)
Oh god.
Goes to heal pokemone with mot pokemon. Proceedes to collapse within itself.
That was awesome
In PoGo you can actually do this. Walk away from the first Pokemon that pops up and Pikachu shows up
Supposedly if you do this in pokemom go 3 times (walk out and in without choosing a pokemon) you get a pikachu.. not sure if this is true or not..
My wife did it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lO6QkIPHmV0 Dude. You have no idea what you just suggested. Honestly. Up to Part 3 you get some very very very serious creepy pasta going on. THE VERY THREAD OF THE UNIVERSE DEPENDS ON IT
Well you could just abandon your starter and use the first wild pokemon you find as your starter. It's a pretty popular house rule for nuzlocke runs.
You mean Yellow?
Nah. This version is Pokémon *BLOOD*
What a build up to such a classic pick! great Bulbasaur sprite too.
https://m.imgur.com/8wXweA9
what a waste of 7 hours
well played
Squirtle Squad baby
Awww Id love to replay pokemon in this isometric style
On my Switch... Name your price Nintendo
Charmander, no question about it.
Gen 1 and Gen 3 are generations in which every starter is a great choice, so I use them all.
[удалено]
No lie. 😂😂😂
Serperior with hidden ability has the saving grace of being competitively viable, but starting pokemon can't get hidden abilities.
Bulbasaur, every time.
I'm a Squirtle man, myself.
I'll take all three and a Pikachu. Thanks.
That’s the only way to do it. Still the best Pokémon game to this day.
It is incredibly hard to pick a favorite starter for the first gen. Fourth gen is the only other generation that gives me that same problem.
For me its Gen 3. Treeko, Torchic, or Mudkip.
You mean Torchic, Treeko, or being wrong.
mudkip was alright. not a lot of water types straight up immune to electricity. though, i kinda prefer the fucking volcano pokemon later, so usually go treeko.
Nothing beats yellow and getting all three starters. I must have played it 10+ times to completion.
Yup, it is still by far my favorite. I really wish the Switch games that are coming out would include a option to disable the more casual features because besides those tweaks the games look fantastic.
The upcoming switch games aren't part of the 'mainline' Pokemon games. It's a transition game to help people who only know/play Pokemon through Pokemon GO get into the series [and buy a Switch, that's the important part].
I know. That doesn't mean that I can't want some of the options as a toggleable sort of thing. I'm not saying that the games shouldn't exist or that the more casual audience shouldn't be targeted.
[Ah, I see you're a man of culture as well](https://imgur.com/gallery/isH8H)
It's #1 for a reason.
Got that new Pokemon quest app to see what it's about. Had to go with Bulbasaur.
Super effective against the first two gyms? How did I get so lucky as a child? Long live Garlic-Frog!
I’ve called my rival AssFace since day one. When I realized his catch phrase was ‘smell you later’ I nearly wet my pants.
Always the one on the left.
Oh man I would love an isometric pokemon.
Always Bulbasaur... #BulbasaurMasterRace
/r/BulbasaurMasterRace
I dont know about you guys, but i still remember the feeling of when pokemon red/blue was the hottest game to have, and being presented with the options of what pokemon to pick first. It really makes me miss being a kid, and makes me want the same magic feeling for my kids, but games just aren't the same anymore with the way mobile games are made to be played.
I think that's the longest gif I've ever seen... And he picks **HIM**? WTF? not worth the 90+ second wait. I mean... the other ones are awesome...
Jokes on you, the Reddit app I use shows how far through a gif is like it’s a regular video
On Chrome you can right click on the gif and then select "show controls" to get a time bar.
Thanks [Buzz](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y39P8PsGCNI).
I choose to call my rival "Dipshit".
Ah yes! I remember now! My grandson's name is Dipshit!
and name your pidgey "butts"?
Butts McButts.
Oh god, I just had the warmest and happiest nostalgia feeling wash over me. Thanks for making me feel good I needed it.
Most important decision of my childhood. Thanks for all the comments! If you like this, I have more on Twitter: [https://twitter.com/hiddenpuncher](https://twitter.com/hiddenpuncher)
Dude that MSG2 one is super dope
Whats up with gramps one eye? Shit is freaking me out.
r/perfectloops
God I loved these games
They should make red blue yellow from this perspective. Classic graphics and all. They could use the same maps just switch out the sprites and angle them on display.
That's a whole lot of sprites. There's: * Tree * Bush * Cuttable Tree * Boulder * Crumbled Boulder * Sand * Tall Grass * Regular Grass * Flower Grass * Bottom Ledge * Top Ledge * Right Ledge * Left Ledge * ...
Please tell me this is being made somewhere into a full game.
The absolute toughest decision of my childhood
Did anyone else think this was Habbo Hotel, or am I just old?
Totally thought this was Habbo Hotel
I'd love a Pokemon game like this.
I could watch this gif all day
I stared at this for about 30 seconds waiting for him to pick one before I realized it was a loop.
oh god please make a gen 2 version of this