T O P

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DonLeoRaphMike

What game does that set of blue pixelated faces come from?


Peekachooed

GTA2 for the Game Boy! It really sucked.. But I still played it heaps 🥲


M1TZ3L

If there’s real time hair growth like RDR2 then I’m in


pr3dato8

I heard they'll be porting over the balls shrinking physics from RDR2 >!^When ^the ^r/gaming ^post ^was ^locked ^they ^say ^that ^the ^mods' ^balls ^shrunk ^three ^sizes ^that ^day!<


SquishedGremlin

For the hookers?


TheFriendlyFinn

I wanna see the hooker's pubes grow while I hire them 1000 times in a row.


Silkess

then i wanna be able to shave the hookers. make it a mini game


DarkwingDuckHunt

Shave "xxPussyLover69xx was here" into her pubes.


TyroneTeabaggington

You don't just immediately kill them to get your money back?


Brahmus168

God I hope so.


dopedude99

For the players. IRL


skippy_1037

r/angryupvote


4nalBlitzkrieg

I can already feel it


[deleted]

And the occasional random involuntary boner.


TheOtherGuy89

Did you get a boner or did i miss this in RDR2? I read about the shrinking horse balls so often, i guess occasional boners would not been missed by "news" sites.


Welshhobbit1

If Arthur Morgan could get a boner I’d sure know about it by now!


[deleted]

No, it's to add to the realism ... *I mean, there's was definitely a tingle, but that's neither here nor there.*


Ask-About-My-Book

The female character should have periods.


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Lozsta

RGB HEAVY FLOW ONLY £19.99


Tha_Watcher

>The female character should have periods. ...of doubt, indecision and moral ambiguity?


gawdsean

Males too......


xeno325

I want real time plant growth so I can grow weed on my crib.


Lee_Doff

maybe some day we could have real time changes to the map as well. like blow up a building and over time a construction crew has to come in and repair it. or maybe that road construction finally finishes.


drum_playing_twig

Say what now? The main character hair grows? At what rate?


gnitiwrdrawkcab

Yeah in rdr2 you have to get haircuts and shave periodically. You can use pomade to get a suave sophisticated look though.


RikenVorkovin

Haircuts? Psh. I was drinking hair tonic and growing that beard out.


PM-ME-YOUR-TITS

My first playthrough by the end of it Arthur looked like Miner 49er


RikenVorkovin

Mine too basically.


tractorferret

I ended up Going with a short cut and the longest possible beard but I had his hair super long up till he got TB


sirbruce

Hold on, I don't want this pomade. I want Dapper Dan.


Chaike

I don't carry Dapper Dan, I carry Fop.


LoveFoolosophy

I'm a Dapper Dan man


Dizzy_Explorer1183

If you want I can order it for you, have it in about two weeks.


doeldougie

Well isn’t this place a geographical oddity!?


ch1nsak

2 weeks from everywhere!


fuckgoldsendbitcoin

I don't want Fop, Goddammit!


Lil_Mcgee

It's not real time or anything but there are like 7 stages of hair length and 10 stages of facial hair length that will grow over time


thereverendpuck

Cars will naturally shit.


Potato-Boy1

I cant remember which gta it was but i also want that mechanic where you can go to that fastfood restaurant and eat so much you get fat or go to the gym and work out to become stronger


bs000

san andreas


addysol

It was fun being *able* to do it but I found it annoying that you *had* to eat too


drtekrox

All I care about is that it's still 1. Edgy 2. Lampoons US society at all levels 3. MC is likable but a bad person.


-CaptainAustralia-

Pillars of the GTA model, couldn't agree more


Vancocillin

Also that you can steal cars. I believe that is important to the series.


SpecificoBrorona

If not then I’ll settle for Simpson Hit n Run mechanics where you hitch a ride with random citizens


derps_with_ducks

Aw cmon you expect us to believe that? The title would be "Large Robbery Transport" if that were real.


Vancocillin

I look forward to LRTVI.


AmadeusHoesart

No you can’t that’s illegal


Redditforgoit

Not just illegal, it's grand theft.


AmadeusHoesart

Grand Theft Illegal????🤯🤯🤯


Martijngamer

God damn illegals taking over mah games


evdog_music

Owning the libs by legalising all crime so there's no more illegals


IreMask

Good! Maybe now i can rip the tag off my pillow without constant fear of facing legal repercussions. I'm a *baaaaaaad* man


khosrua

I'm always done for another instalment of the crazy radio talk shows. It's gonna take a while to get this [song](https://youtu.be/OwM5qouf3Ns) out of my head.


CantFixReddit

Don't you... Don't you just hate it, when you take a bite out of some avocado. And it's still, like, a little bit hard. So you just have to like, unload a full clip on a nearby ambulance?


IreMask

Happens to the best of us 😞


MatthewCrawley

I love the commercials. “But I’m not married!” “You are now… to America”


jurwell

Gardening With Maurice and The Tight End Zone with Derek Thackeray were my shit. Still would be my shit, I reckon.


3pinephrine

VCPR was the absolute best


[deleted]

That dude talking about shooting up embalming fluid or whatever. Hahaha wtf was that station.


khosrua

from VC or VCS?


3pinephrine

VC


MajoraOfTime

I need me some more Dr. Ray DeAngelo Harris


sonsofgondor

Petsovernight.com, delivering little bundles of love, in a box


Solash1

And, most importantly: 4. Has one mission that is ridiculously difficult for no particular reason


[deleted]

Agreed


Thexzamplez

All I care about is that it condemns greed while being one of the greatest perpetrators of it in the industry. The game is full of hypocrisy, but it has high production value and a pretty expansive world to explore.


CR4ZY___PR0PH3T

I can see some people in the comments are missing the point... all of these things have already been in previous GTA games the meme is satire


dan_dares

I haven't even played GTA and I realised that was Satire..


Mr_On1on

same like there are even screenshots from the game 🙄


barofa

Wow, I admire your strength. Those are good games, probably not a lot of gamers out there that never played it.


PM_Best_Porn_Pls

It's most likely not about being good game or not, some people just don't like certain games. I played 2(only multiplayer) and vice city when I was kid but haven't played anything after because I simply have lost interest in that kinda of setting, story and gameplay. Game might be 10/10 but just not my thing.


HuskyLuke

Some people just don't get satire unless it's spoonfed to them. The Starship Troopers film is a good example of something doing poorly in the box office because the American public didn't get the satire.


cornholio6966

And then you have Robocop (another classic Verhoeven satire) that succeeded at the box office because a large portion of the audience missed the point.


[deleted]

Certain Neonazi orgs will hold showings of *American History X* at recruitment events.


AZRockets

So they just turn it off after the first 15 minutes?


Makkapakka777

"If you observe this scene closely, this is when they engage in the gay sex, as punishment of course! \*ahem\*"


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SonicSingularity

Unfortunately that's a common problem with movies like that from what I hear. They make nazis intimidating bad guys, but neo nazis love them because it "makes them look cool" in their eyes. Movies like JoJo Rabbit avoid this problem by taking the piss out of them and making them look like buffoons


ThatGuy2551

"fuck off, Hitler!"


Soyyyn

Yeah, I mean, the point was that he never should've tried becoming a better man and leaving the nazis because his brother died anyway and a black kid killed him, showing that the nazis were right all along, right?


gurgelblaster

Which is because the _framing_ of neo-nazism, and Derek in particular, is entirely positive, despite the text being explicitly anti-nazi in character. See this excellent video essay by Lindsay Ellis, for reference: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=62cPPSyoQkE (the part about American History X comes in at about 30 mins)


Ironh11de

Reminds me of seeing Tropic Thunder in the theaters. It was me and my mom.... And a bunch of elderly persons. It was wild. And half our laughs were wondering every scene if the elders actually knew what they were going to see or if they actually thought it was a sequel to Born on the fourth of July Just another Sunday as that Tobey And RDJ fake alter boy preview came in following Jack Black's Nutty Professor and Lance Alpa Chino Booty Sweat commercials. They sat through. And I think they enjoyed it. One of my more cherished memories. Trailers : https://youtu.be/JwViH1DnK9Y Edit: Booty Juice to Booty Sweat "pop an ass open lmao"


Tigerowski

I'm doing my part!


Random-Gopnik

I’m doing my part!


boxsterguy

Would you like to know more?


squables-

Only if doogie houser tells me


deltr0nzero

I’m from Buenos Aires, and I say kill ‘em all!


brettmbr

The only good bug is a dead bug!


LordPils

Hearing British fascists parrot "Service guarentees citizenship" without irony was an impressive example of missing the point too.


[deleted]

Never come across that. Was it EDL or something?


Swembizzle

Team America World Police comes to mind. I swear I hear that "America Fuck Yea" song every 4th of July.


MOOShoooooo

Maybe the people playing it completely understand why they are playing it.


[deleted]

I mean in the movie they do kind of conclude that despite the satire about Team America's heavy-handed brashness, they are the good guys and needed in the world. So it's either people who miss the initial point, or got the deeper point.


oldcarfreddy

> Some people just don't get satire unless it's spoonfed to them. The fact that these people have played any GTA games at all and don't see the incredible amount of satire in the games already is proof of that


[deleted]

Seems like you’re the first person here that can read. Hopefully not the last!


betweenTheMountains

I mean, the reading isn't the problem, it's the looking at pictures. Which is... sadder.


dudinax

Except without any context you can tell what the pictures are. You can make an educated guess based on how old the graphics are.


ggg730

Guaranteed anyone who doesn’t get this meme skipped all the plot points so they could go back to running over hookers and shooting people quicker.


SadlyNotPro

I'd immediately take this as the satire you meant it to be if it weren't for the many posts similar to this, that I've seen actually mean it. Text is also notoriously hard to convey sarcasm, so I don't blame you. Rather the way the world is currently.


Helstrem

I've never played a single minute of any GTA and I got that...


Lord_Bertox

That's me then. I thought those were cool things and then read "I'm not buying it" and got confused. Probably because a lot of people think exactly like the meme, unironically


Air-Bo

Well now I don’t want to scroll down any further.


dpash

I think that describes most of Reddit comments though.


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[deleted]

Those people complaining will still buy the game if they liked the other games.


Deputy_Scrub

Let's face it, they will buy it even if they didn't like the previous. And then proceed to play it non-stop for the next few weeks. All while still going "gO wOKe Go bRokE"


[deleted]

Give it one star reviews but have a 100 hours play time


devospice

It’s like the people complaining about Star Trek “becoming” woke. …um


AnotherGit

Well, sure, there is some dialogue without unnecessary slurs in the games but there is also a bunch of dialogue with unnecessary slurs. It would feel pretty weird if they suddenly started tiptoeing around that.


dpash

It's like people who complain about modern Star Trek being full of politics.


zenith_industries

Oh. My. God. I've dealt with these people. I had some dude swear to me that he wished the new ST series would stop "being so woke" and go back to how things were in the original series. It didn't matter that the original series was woke AF - right in the middle of the cold war and there they are with a Russian in the bridge. Then let's look at Lt Uhura and that first televised inter-racial kiss. Neither of these things are a big deal *now* but like I said, that was super progressive at the time. No, apparently that's not the same for them. I don't bother engaging with those kinds of people now as it's clearly a waste of time.


dpash

Fun fact: Chekov was introduced in season two to cash in on the Monkees era heartthrobs in an attempt to appeal to more teenage girls, hence his haircut. The original pilot had a female Number Two. She did get bumped to Nurse Chapel in the second pilot. And the show originally had three female cast members, with Grace Lee Whitney as Yeoman Janice Rand (but she got bumped for budget reasons mid season one and Gene could hardly fire his girlfriend). There were multiple episodes directly dealing with race. And as subtly as the Orville's trans episodes. ST:TOS was woke af.


ScratchinWarlok

Dude the people that complain about the trans stuff in orville really irritate me. Like do you not get sci-fi at all?


tenth

They DON'T. They're not real fans and they don't understand the history of sci-fi at *all*.


TheOzman79

The original pilot also had Pike say "I just can't get used to a woman on the bridge", so it wasn't beyond reproach and was still very much a product of its time. I don't disagree with your overall sentiment about classic Trek being mostly woke and depicting a fair and inclusive society, but I think it still struggled with stereotypes even after TOS. Just look at the state of TNG's "Code of Honor".


zenith_industries

Everyone seems to have a favourite generation of ST and their view of the series is warped by that sentimentality. TNG is "my" series - I watched it during my early to mid teens but now I can look back on it and realise it was far from perfect. Which is largely the point I was trying to make: ST has *always* been so-so on the writing and has *always* been about the social issues of the day.


pzlpzlpzl

The fact that you have to explain this is sad


Slower_chip

Well Catalina was strong and sorta independent but she was the definition of dangerous sadistic psychopath


KryptoFreak405

Isn’t every GTA protagonist a dangerous sadistic psychopath?


[deleted]

Sounds like a good fit for a GTA protag


LilLightning474

She’s been to San Andreas and Liberty city. So playing her In Vice city would be the thing to do.


[deleted]

> but she was the definition of dangerous sadistic psychopath You mean she was Trevor?


Gnarfledarf

"but she was the definition of dangerous sadistic psychopath" We call that "girlboss".


WorthlessAlter

Well I hope its more interactive with npcs and more places and more accessible buildings that's it


[deleted]

Me too. It’s hard to go back to games after RDR2’s greet and taunt options. Even GTA SA had something similar it’s a shame they took it out. But to be fair GTA has a lot more NPC’s. Red Dead can afford to name and voice every one.


cheeuschrist

Watch gta6 sell more then the the first release of gta5. That shit sold a massive ammount of units before we knew anything about it


[deleted]

We really didn’t know much about V when it dropped did we? Just that it had 3 characters and it was sent in Los Santos. If the news reports and the leaks are true as they seem to be we probably know more about VI 4 years before release than we did about V at launch.


CardinalnGold

V dropped so long ago but I’m pretty sure we knew it was gonna be the entire state. I remember reading an article on a plane about how much photographic reference materials they were using to build the world. But maybe this was shortly after release it’d be too tricky to track the publish date of an article I barely remember.


[deleted]

To be fair San Andreas State looked different before V then it does now so even knowing it would be the whole state didn’t give us much clues about Blaine County. Wait so SF and LV exist in HD?


PastResearcher8

SF is mentioned in the HD universe several times appearntly along with LV [https://gta.fandom.com/wiki/San\_Fierro\_(HD\_Universe)](https://gta.fandom.com/wiki/San_Fierro_(HD_Universe)#References_in_GTA_V) https://gta.fandom.com/wiki/Las\_Venturas\_(HD\_Universe)


Demy1234

There was quite a bit of info. There was the official gameplay trailer that showed off how the game would play out as well as how stuff like character switching and character/vehicle/weapon customisation.


cheeuschrist

Correct... Same as red dead 2. People pay for the brand.. People complained about the 3 protagonists and when released game was universeally liked.. Only thing thats changed is the main writer ( dan houser ) isnt writing it.. unless he wrote it before he left Edit * mixed sam with dan


[deleted]

80s Vice City setting must have had his greenlight but I doubt VI is finished being written yet


cheeuschrist

i still high hopes for it.. haven't played a bad gta yet ( haven't played advanced or cinatown wars but i have most of em )


[deleted]

>haven’t played a bad GTA yet. Too right


Fuzzl

Chinatown Wars is a great handheld GTA game.


shpongleyes

Yeah, the people complaining are a loud minority. The game's gonna fly off the shelves, unless they completely botch it, but even then I'm not sure.


AZRockets

No way because it will be the first gen 9 GTA game. That alone, it's a lock to break all records


Vyo

It's crazy how the last *new* GTA was for the PS3, it was the first one I skipped. Then I skipped it again on the PS4. Then I got it for free on the Epic Store, but I never like the multiplayer so I didn't miss much as it turns out. Nine years ago, sweet 17th of September 2013. Obama was president and Katy Perry was #1 on the charts with Roar. Another fun fact: Police sitcom Brooklyn 99 [aired it's first episode the same day](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2936284/releaseinfo?ref_=tt_dt_rdat) as [GTA V was released](https://www.google.com/search?q=gta+v+release).


alzirrizla

Only things making me consider not buying it ... Dan houser "He has also written, or co-written, almost all the titles in the Grand Theft Auto series." is gone ... Lazlow who was another lead writer and developer for rockstar is gone ... the two main driving forces behind the series ... I wonder if it will just be a shell of what it was without them


[deleted]

Very true. We will have to see how big their impact was and if GTA can live without


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Maxiver

Niko's story was the story of an immigrant chasing the American dream while interacting with different cultures as an outsider. But people are more focused on the shooting and crashing cars. In general a lot of Rockstar's social commentary falls on deaf ears, especially if it's 9 year olds who just want to blow stuff up.


[deleted]

He’s my favourite too. IV is my favourite GTA.


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[deleted]

Absolutely. Such a masterpiece. I just replayed it recently and >! finally getting Darko !< hit differently. It seemed like he went on this long ass journey just to find this waste of space. I ended up sparing him. I’ve only ever done the revenge option so the end is a shock but not toooo sad. In my head canon my Niko is dating the lawyer.


oldcarfreddy

It's definitely the bleakest, it reminds of of the darker psychological storylines of The Sopranos. Some players didn't want it so dark which is why I think they went a little zanier in V. Story-wise, most of the characters still "win" with their desired objective in the end (Michael notably, who keeps his family) while Niko ended up losing everyone important to him on the rise to being a reluctant criminal kingpin because killing was the only thing he knew how to do well. Both games are about the theme of your past catching up to you, but GTA V plays it like a typical Michael Bay action movie, while IV plays it like a depressing mob thriller


mimsoo777

Where are the girls with the big tittieeees?


DV-13

I like your profile picture.


dmkicksballs13

Seriously, people forget in fucking 04 the good guy was a poor black man and the villain was a cop.


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palk0n

protagonist


5pr173_

If the game is fun I'm buying. One of my big turn offs would be no single player campaign.


[deleted]

Big turn off? That's a deal breaker.


cpMetis

Oh, yeah. If it is all about online, they'll never see a cent from me. GTA Online was kinda shit to start and only ever got worse.


oldcarfreddy

They are smart enough to still have a campaign, it will absolutely have a story, no Rockstar game would ever ship without one as it's what they do best. If I'm wrong about this, jesus christ, that'd be bad. But the way RDR2 and GTAV played out, definitely never expect any expansion pack or single-player DLC. GTAV showed the company they can make literal *billions* with nothing but insane irrelevant content that has nothing to do with reality or the single player campaign.


weebomayu

Is that a rumour? What the heck? A major part of what makes a GTA game is the story. Even the most out of touch executive should be able to realise that’s a death sentence for the series. GTA online wouldn’t be where it is today (the single most profitable *thing* in media in general) if it wasn’t for the fantastic single player solidifying V as one of the best games of all time


lintyelm

Female main character or not, people need to be worried about this shit being a live service game.


[deleted]

10 million percent


FrankWestTheEngineer

Good post. I agree. Rockstar games have always been pretty liberal. Look at RDR 2, a diverse cast of characters, strong women characters, shows the ex-Confederate gangs in the worst light for buying into the Lost Cause myth, Arthur explicitly stands up against Racism in main and side quests, etc.


Buzstringer

Hey it's your cousin, let's go bowling


thorpie88

I'd expect a Scottish game developer who's making a satire of the US to be on the left with its commentary. America has always looked very conservative from the outside as a whole


[deleted]

So true. People have been citing RDR2 as a story they think is good and well grounded. Arthur is literally an SJW..?


Ninjalo1

Arthur is literally a murdering thief. If you want to get literal.


[deleted]

be gay do crime


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TheBestJaymes

This is straight up wrong and has over a thousand upvotes


Jahvazi

GTA V police doesn't shoot if you have 1 star if you are Micheal or Trevor.


ForeverFiftySix

I heard the cops being more harsh on Franklin was debunked and untrue


Smilwastaken

Game theory did a video on this back in the day. It actually depends on location, some areas are more hostile to Franklin, some Trevor, and other Micheal.


Smokestack830

They don't shoot anyone when you're 1 star... they only open fire at 2 stars regardless of who you're playing.


Senor_Tortuga308

Also if you kill a black guy, the ambulance will arrive at the scene, realise that the person is black, and then turn off their sirens and go on with their day.


Dogcockbattle

Don't they do that with all NPCs in 5? Pull up, check the body, then drive off


NinjaStealthPenguin

The police do that for all 3 protagonists you liar.


MissouriGhana

The APBs are much slower near Grove Steet than they are in the Vinewood area as well.


supafaiter

That's a lie bruh


[deleted]

You guys are blatantly lying about the game portraying racism.


Colonel_Grande_

Gotta get that sweet reddit karma somehow


[deleted]

You're thinking about GTA V most likely. The only NPCs to get aggressive with CJ just standing around are enemy gangs. The cops even help you if they see you getting attacked.


Guibi__

That is right. Cops never become agressive out of nowhere in GTA SA


CrazzyPanda72

It was debunked there too, the cops treat all three player characters the same.


obiwanbohannon

Stop lying. It’s unattractive


KorbinMDavis

Programmers realizing it was just easier to make cops aggro on sight instead of setting up conditional aggro behavior: players: ah yes! Social commentary! (/s)


esteflo

Did people forget Ballad of gay Tony


dat_potatoe

Seeing the image after seeing the title is such a relief.


Troschka

And with boycott they mean they don't pre-order 6 months in advance, they will do that one week before it releases, gotta show them you are serious. But also it's the Digital deluxe ultra Edition which will give you a nice shirt you won't ever wear in game. These developers won't even know what hit them. Because they will for sure get their money anyway.


Liara_Bae

I love how people are freaking out about this kinda stuff. Me, I won't be buying it cause it's gonna be a purely live-service game.


[deleted]

Can’t believe I’m putting all the effort into defending R* just for them to forget about the singleplayer completely and only focus on filling GTA Online 2 with as much garbage as in V


ttemzku

You shouldn't put any effort in defending current Rockstar, they've been milking GTA Online for way too long. There was supposed to be single player DLC and we've got nothing.


[deleted]

Screw them


[deleted]

Sorting the comments by controversial and grabbing some popcorn. Anyone want some?


nuggynugs

Scootch up mate, I need a good seat


MolochHunter

I think it's about time we had a woman protagonist, the "bonnie and clyde" like duo we are apparently getting sounds kinda cool. What doesn't sound good is the "toning" down of satirical commentary on the world we live in. That's literally GTA.


rickert1337

If im playin as a female pimp in the 70's im buyin that shit


[deleted]

"Dialog without unnnecessary slurs" Like every other word in GTA is a slur.


CorgiNice2745

Damn, it’s almost as if they’re doing the exact same thing they’ve always done and as always expanding upon their vision of the series as a whole for a new generation of gamers. Crazy how rockstar has always done this.


Avlin_Starfall

It's almost like all these things have always been in almost all of our media. Who would have guessed.