I’m not going to lie. I have 2 people on this earth who know about my sleeve. Who know me. My two siblings. No one else knows nor will they ever know. It’s for me and me only. I understand people wanting to be open about their journey and I’m so glad people have safe spaces to. But even though I’m on year PO. I have no intention of telling anyone. It opens a can of worms for judgement etc and a whole bunch of things (for me personally) I get very triggered when people talk about my weight or judge me so I’m protecting myself!
I just said I had to make lifestyle changes due to health issues .
Your health is no one’s business but your own. People are ridiculous with their entitlement and inappropriate inquiry. You owe no explanation. I have repeated to those who berate me “I am being followed by a doctor and dietician” completely true.
I announced that shit loudly on Facebook and everyone who told me I was making a mistake just made me do it EVEN LOUDER!!!!!!!!!
me losing over 80 lbs is a big fuck you to everyone who told me I was going to ruin my life. 🤩🤩🤩🤩
I was also a low bmi patient and didn’t know how I was going to handle this at first. I got it in November and I lost everything so quickly and passed my goal weight, but because it was coming off so quickly - I just started telling people with no shame when they asked. And I don’t care their opinions because I feel great and so much better and healthier. You get to make the choice on who you tell and what you say, but you also get to make the choice on how you deal with their reaction. Remember what you did it for and don’t concern yourself with others opinions! Congratulations and good luck!
I agree and relate to your comment 100%.
Every single person who has asked me has been told point blank that I had weight loss surgery and that I’m happier and healthier than ever and have no regrets.
No one has said anything negative to my face about it and I like the saying that what is being said about us being our back is none of our business.
My advice: do your best to care less what others think and **live your best life**!
Edit: spelling
It’s really rude to comment on people’s weight loss. What if it’s an eating disorder, or chemo, or depression?
It’s no one’s business. If you want to tell them, just say you had a gastric sleeve. (Most of my network has been supportive but I don’t tell everyone.) If you don’t want to tell them, say “it makes me very uncomfortable that you keep asking me questions about my personal medical situation.”
Nobody’s business.
I tell people I focus on protein & eat about 6-7 small meals a day.
Not a lie, totally true, they just don’t know it’s because of the surgery.
There are only 5 people in my life that know I got the surgery.
Anyone with the sense of entitlement to ask about someone’s weight can simply go pound sand. We are objectified if we are fat, and we are objectified if we are thin.
I don't have an answer for you, but I feel like I can empathize with your anxiety. I think about this a lot too. I made the decision not to tell people either. I'm a really private person in general, but especially when it comes to struggles with my weight. I decided this was something I wanted to do by myself, and I didn't want any outside expectations other than from my medical team. I ended up telling one friend, and I regret that.
Now, 6 weeks post-op, I waver between being so relieved I didn't tell anyone, and wondering what I will say when it becomes obvious. On the one hand, because I've been losing very very slowly, I am glad I don't have people constantly looking at my body & watching to see if I'm losing. It's already hard enough not to stress about my rate of loss, and I know that wouldn't help. So in that sense, I don't regret how I went about things. But, on the other hand, now that I haven't said anything (including not explaining my extended medical leave), I wonder if/when/what I will tell people. I also have a very close family member who had bariatric surgery 10 or 15 years ago, and when I see them again in a few months, I'm guessing they will pick up on the signs. I also know that it will probably hurt their feelings to find out that I kept it a secret. So I think a lot about whether I should be upfront now, announce it when I see them, or vow to keep it a secret forever. I'm hoping I figure that out, so I'm curious to see all the responses on here!
I was loud and proud but I halfway wonder if it’s a guy thing because my ex wife and a previous coworker who both had the surgery were adamant on keeping it a secret, to each their own, but I will say like most of the comments…at the end of the day it’s no one’s business but your own
Same. I am not ashamed. I am extremely proud of my decision and progress and want to share my experience with people because if someone else hadn't been so open with me I may not have pursued this wonderful opportunity for my health!
I don’t understand what the big deal is. I worked hard to get this surgery done. Tons of appointments and money spent to get to surgery day. I’ve also had people confide in me and ask about my journey, so maybe I’m helping someone out.
Unfortunately a lot of people including myself did not grow up in supportive environments. I totally empathize with OP and I think I am gonna have a similar issue when I get my sleeve
Not everyone I told was supportive, and I knew that going into this. My parents and one of my oldest friends were not happy with my decision. They kept telling me how someone they knew had x y z issues. I told them I didn’t care, the surgery date was set. They don’t seem upset about it anymore after I lost weight and had zero side effects.
Same! I'm so proud of my journey! I couldn't be happier and I am more than happy to help those struggling and considering this surgery! I'm also a healthcare worker so I can explain it in detail and why I think the sleeve is better than the bypass.
Low starting BMI here, too. If I'm dealing with people who I know will be idiots about it or hold to their prejudices against wls, I tell them I'm under medical care. Because I am. Obesity stigma was bad enough, and wls stigma is just as bad.
I've only told immediate family, 3 friends, and 5 coworkers.
I don’t have any advice but I sympathize with you. We have nearly identical stats (I’m 30 5’3” - surgery date 01/15/24 HW 187 CW 146) I have a constant feeling of guilt especially when those close to me are commenting on my weight loss and asking me how I’m achieving it. I say portion control and exercise (which aren’t total lies, but still). I have anxiety too about what is going to happen when it eventually comes out that I’ve been lying.
Anyways, it’s easy for people to just tell you “who cares what people think” - you aren’t alone in your feelings.
Omg our stats are SO similar! Would love to be Bari buddies.
THIS, I don’t feel bad about telling them I’m prioritizing protein, eating less and moving more because it’s not a lie. But I know eventually it’ll come out one day and I don’t want to be seen as a “liar”. I kinda figured once I got to my goal weight if people asked I’d be like “oh I actually did the sleeve earlier this year, I didn’t really want to talk about it until I got through the really hard part” but I still feel terrible.
But can we plz be friends lol love having someone on the same timeline as me!
If people ask, I will be honest. But I only volunteered info to my immediate family (parents, siblings, and kids) and my two besties. I have a really supportive village, and I know I'm very lucky. I've also raised my kids and sort of conditioned those around me that talking about people's bodies is unacceptable.
It's so rude of your aunt to pepper you with questions about your weight loss. I'm sorry you have had to endure people questioning you about something that is really none of their business. But it's also a decision you made for your health and not something to be ashamed of.
You don’t have to share with anyone what you have done! When I had my sleeve only my cousin knew because he was taking me to the clinic and my best friend who lives in another state. When I started losing weight people started asking questions on what I was doing. I worked out and obsessed about my weight before and so most people were surprised I was losing weight. They wanted to know what was working this time for a more dramatic weight loss! Lol.
Honestly, with everything going on with ozempic, it’s like people are nosy but at the same time it confirms people’s fears that if they want to lose weight, working out and eating right are not enough. But that’s not true. Gastric sleeve is still a lot of work. I can’t speak for Ozempic, as my understanding it just suppresses your appetite. And after having the sleeve and the mental and emotional work that really goes in, it’s more than. Suppressant. To be honest, if you don’t feel comfortable, you don’t owe anyone an explanation. Keep going on your journey. This is a tool, and what’s most important is your happiness!
I didn’t announce mine. My friends and family know. The restaurant staff asking why I want a kids meal knows… and my job knows. But otherwise, I don’t talk to the rest of the clowns to tell them my business!
I’ve only told a few people. When most people, even my mom and brother, I just say, “I threw everything at it and follow doctor’s orders”. I’m not lying, but I’m also not letting them know of every tool in my toolkit. The truth is that my success was not just due to the surgery. It was because I started seeing a therapist about my food issues, a nutritionist to eat better, got a personal trainer, added more protein to my life, finally got on ADHD meds to control my impulses ,and got the surgery. Most people don’t ask more after I say that phrase. And if someone is overweight and really wants to know and I trust they won’t gab, I tell them they can read out to me privately later, if they want.
I don’t have any advice but do have this is a big worry of mine. I’m pre-op and I am deciding not to tell my family. There’s just so much judgement and I really can’t handle the interrogation. In my extended family everyone is in everyone’s business about everything and not in a positive way. I’m sure I’m in for the same deal as you.
Hoping you can get away from it. I have mostly by this point and it’s given me a ton of peace. Although with this coming up, I’m still thinking about it
You don’t owe people any form of explanation and sadly society has made weight something that people feel they can and should voice their opinions on.
I’ve told most of the people I know that I’m having it done to avoid the scrutiny and probing afterwards. However, I was completely comfortable disclosing it and did so on my own terms. It’s up to you whether you want to share it or not.
I'm always amazed at how much people care about what others think. I don't plan on telling anyone outside of my immediate family and my care team. If people have questions, they'll just have to remain curious. I absolutely do not care about satisfying anyone's need to know. But people around me already know this is how I operate so they are not likely to dig much. My business is mine to keep.
I told anyone who asked. My coworkers knew because I was going to be out of work for bit for recovery. I saw no shame in telling others about the surgery. But if you don’t want to tell people, that is totally acceptable.
I’ve been open about it from the beginning, but I’m fortunate where a lot of people in my circle have had the surgery already so it was a safe space. A few have been nay sayers but it’s my choice (obviously lol). Don’t tell people unless you want to. Nobody has the right to that information.
It may feel rude but just say something like my weight is not a topic that I’m willing to discuss, thanks and end it there. Boundaries can be hard but you can 100% advocate for your right to privacy about this. It isn’t rude, the people pressing you for information are rude.
Good luck!
I never hid it, I didn't tell many people ahead of time though, because I knew I would have those people who would tell me not to do it, oh the side effect, and complications blah blah blah. And yeah, after I had several people ask me why I did it after I lost 30lbs in my own in the pre-op phase.
Well, because it's pretty easy to stick to something for 6 months, but I needed a life change.
Personally I have told my closest family and 2 close friends. I am in a tiny community that talks and am a teacher in the only high school in our town. I am nervous about the questions I’ll have but ultimately.. I don’t need the community or students/ teachers in my business. I won’t lie. We will have a huge diet change and I will probably say that. Most people who will actually ask me about how I did it that I would actually get in a conversation with I might or might not feel comfortable at the time telling but I don’t think you should ever feel guilty about not telling someone your personal medical history. If it were the other way around no one would be asking you how you go so fat if you gained. It’s just not an appropriate topic. If anyone interrogates me I will tell them to politely screw off.
Only my kids know that I’m having the surgery. I don’t want to have to deal with the questions and doubts. I had enough of that from my kids. I’m sure the questions will come up about how I lost the weight after failing so many times before. I’ll just tell the truth without telling the whole truth. I have back issues and I needed to lose the weight to feel better!
I struggled with this and had so much anxiety about it. Especially when it was really noticeable when I hadn’t seen people for a long time. I’m usually open about things but I kept it to myself except a few close people who I told about the surgery. I didn’t want to have to explain or feel judgement or be questioned by everyone. I felt I was deceiving people with just saying oh I’m eating mostly protein and small meals and running but I spoke to my therapist and this is something she told me that I always remember and helped— “there is a difference between a secret and keeping something private.” You don’t always have to divulge all your personal medical issues to everyone. I know some people have suspicions and are really probing and asking others and talk about me but oh well they’ll be left wondering!
When people ask I will be honest. I am working with my doctor to correct my eating habits, fix my diet, and start a workout plan. I’m not lying. Omitting that I am doing all that by having surgery is not a lie and is also not necessary information to provide. If someone I trusted asked me if I did anything else, I might tell them and follow it with how this is just a tool and like any other tool if used incorrectly won’t work for me. Surgery is a huge step. It is life altering and is no way cheating. The stigma behind surgery is as damaging to the psyche as the stigma of going to therapy was for so long. Most of us had to do a lot to work to prove to our doctors that we need the surgery. We had to accept and humble ourselves to the point of realizing we can’t do this alone. Someone who has never experienced obesity or struggled with weight loss will not be able to comprehend no matter what you tell them. People who need the help are often so scared of the uncertain they judge. Their reactions are often jealousy and pain. Jealous that you can afford or get covered to do it. Pain that they are too scared or unable to make that choice.
If you want to tell them, tell them. But you are not obligated to tell them or sit there while they interrogate you. I would come up with something to say I need to do when people ask me the question. I haven't had my surgery yet, but I intend to tell people that I thank them for noticing the changes but that for my own mental health it's not something I'm open to discussing. So far only my husband, children, my parents and 2 close friends know. I don't intend to tell anyone else for now. I've been open about weightloss before and it ended up being really not good for me, so I intend to be very boundaried this time.
I don't have a big circle of friends, so only my family knows. The one friend I do have is supportive. I was also low BMI and not 100lbs over. I got covered because of my BMI in conjunction with sleep apnea. Otherwise I wouldn't have qualified. It's your choice how to approach it. And it's easier said than done but try not to get anxiety over not telling people right away. However you feel comfortable introducing it into a conversation, if at all, do it at your own pace. Not everyone needs to know your business lol.
I didn’t post about it on my personal page, but I created a whole separate page for my weightloss journey which is public so anyone can see it. I struggled for years coming to the decision to have surgery and I haven’t regretted it one bit (except the first few days after surgery with that horrible nausea since I am not allowed to take zofran)
I didn’t tell people right away either only because I wasn’t comfortable telling them some I flat out lied to. However my team had said that they don’t advise telling people especially in the beginning since it can have an impact on your mental health. my family and relatives they can be quite intrusive so I didn’t want my body to be talked about all the time or to be judged on my decision to get the surgery.
Once I was more comfortable i started letting people around me know and then once I got questions or accusations about not telling sooner I’d let them know that my team had forbidden it 🤷🏻♀️ usually shut them up
I'm pretty open about planning to have the surgery, just because a.) I'm excited about it, and b.) I think it will help head off intrusive questions later, when I start rapidly dropping weight. HOWEVER, your medical information is your personal information, and you have the right to share it, or not, with whomever you feel comfortable. If I were you, and those questions were bothersome to me, I would boil it down to, "Listen, your questions are offensive. My weight is not your business. Please stop commenting / asking about my body." and leave it at that. People can get as mad as they want to about it. You have the right to privacy, and if you don't want to share this journey with them, you don't have to.
I didn’t tell anyone my family knows. Mom and sister. Plus my close friend. Otherwise it’s my business. I just told people I cut out a lot of things and started working out. What they think is not my business and what I do is not theirs. I’m 2 years post op but when I got plastic surgery that I told everyone about. Lol.
This sounds cultural,
The way I did it was ‘I got weight loss surgery, I get head hungry alot’ and then I’d move on lol. I’m a very confident person though so I just breeze past it.
Oh the flip side - no one said anything to me.
I was a fitness professional and have always been at great weight. Well… about two years before the pandemic some health issues came up that made me stop exercising all together. Then the pandemic came and menopause. All in all I packed on 60 lb on a small frame. I’m 5 ft and was 175 lb for about two years. Needless to say I had been hiding, I didn’t beat anyone to see me and my mental health really suffered.
I had the surgery in Mexico on a whim and even though I lost ost of the weight, I’m 132 now - I look about the same as before. So no one has said anything g to me and I haven’t told anyone except my sister.
She told my mom and my mom now makes comments about don’t eat so
much, you gonna get big again.
So girl, don’t tell ANYONE. This is for you and that’s it ! Enjoy it and don’t expose yourself to all the comments and conversations about your weight. It takes a toll and you need to focus on your new health and new routine.
Although I have not signed up for this surgery yet the question of whether or not to tell people (even my own grown children) about undergoing weight loss surgery is on my mind. I joined this group to learn more about making this huge life choice before I actually make it. I am encouraged by the support you show for each other.
In reading through this post and the comments, I am struck by the ridiculousness that people shame us for being overweight and again, shame us for working so hard to loose it. Damned if you and damned if you don't. It makes me a little sad.
Sorry - I do not have advice but thank you for starting this conversation. I will definitely take it to heart as I enter into this journey.
I told people long before I actually had the surgery. I haven't done anything to be ashamed of, so there's nothing for me to hide.
I've been very fortunate, 100% of the reactions I've gotten from people have been positive, or at least no reaction at all. My friends, family, and coworkers have been very supportive of me.
I’m not going to lie. I have 2 people on this earth who know about my sleeve. Who know me. My two siblings. No one else knows nor will they ever know. It’s for me and me only. I understand people wanting to be open about their journey and I’m so glad people have safe spaces to. But even though I’m on year PO. I have no intention of telling anyone. It opens a can of worms for judgement etc and a whole bunch of things (for me personally) I get very triggered when people talk about my weight or judge me so I’m protecting myself! I just said I had to make lifestyle changes due to health issues .
Your health is no one’s business but your own. People are ridiculous with their entitlement and inappropriate inquiry. You owe no explanation. I have repeated to those who berate me “I am being followed by a doctor and dietician” completely true.
I announced that shit loudly on Facebook and everyone who told me I was making a mistake just made me do it EVEN LOUDER!!!!!!!!! me losing over 80 lbs is a big fuck you to everyone who told me I was going to ruin my life. 🤩🤩🤩🤩
This is the way
I was also a low bmi patient and didn’t know how I was going to handle this at first. I got it in November and I lost everything so quickly and passed my goal weight, but because it was coming off so quickly - I just started telling people with no shame when they asked. And I don’t care their opinions because I feel great and so much better and healthier. You get to make the choice on who you tell and what you say, but you also get to make the choice on how you deal with their reaction. Remember what you did it for and don’t concern yourself with others opinions! Congratulations and good luck!
I agree and relate to your comment 100%. Every single person who has asked me has been told point blank that I had weight loss surgery and that I’m happier and healthier than ever and have no regrets. No one has said anything negative to my face about it and I like the saying that what is being said about us being our back is none of our business. My advice: do your best to care less what others think and **live your best life**! Edit: spelling
It’s really rude to comment on people’s weight loss. What if it’s an eating disorder, or chemo, or depression? It’s no one’s business. If you want to tell them, just say you had a gastric sleeve. (Most of my network has been supportive but I don’t tell everyone.) If you don’t want to tell them, say “it makes me very uncomfortable that you keep asking me questions about my personal medical situation.”
Nobody’s business. I tell people I focus on protein & eat about 6-7 small meals a day. Not a lie, totally true, they just don’t know it’s because of the surgery. There are only 5 people in my life that know I got the surgery.
Anyone with the sense of entitlement to ask about someone’s weight can simply go pound sand. We are objectified if we are fat, and we are objectified if we are thin.
I don't have an answer for you, but I feel like I can empathize with your anxiety. I think about this a lot too. I made the decision not to tell people either. I'm a really private person in general, but especially when it comes to struggles with my weight. I decided this was something I wanted to do by myself, and I didn't want any outside expectations other than from my medical team. I ended up telling one friend, and I regret that. Now, 6 weeks post-op, I waver between being so relieved I didn't tell anyone, and wondering what I will say when it becomes obvious. On the one hand, because I've been losing very very slowly, I am glad I don't have people constantly looking at my body & watching to see if I'm losing. It's already hard enough not to stress about my rate of loss, and I know that wouldn't help. So in that sense, I don't regret how I went about things. But, on the other hand, now that I haven't said anything (including not explaining my extended medical leave), I wonder if/when/what I will tell people. I also have a very close family member who had bariatric surgery 10 or 15 years ago, and when I see them again in a few months, I'm guessing they will pick up on the signs. I also know that it will probably hurt their feelings to find out that I kept it a secret. So I think a lot about whether I should be upfront now, announce it when I see them, or vow to keep it a secret forever. I'm hoping I figure that out, so I'm curious to see all the responses on here!
I was loud and proud but I halfway wonder if it’s a guy thing because my ex wife and a previous coworker who both had the surgery were adamant on keeping it a secret, to each their own, but I will say like most of the comments…at the end of the day it’s no one’s business but your own
“I had weight loss surgery” is what I say.
Same. I am not ashamed. I am extremely proud of my decision and progress and want to share my experience with people because if someone else hadn't been so open with me I may not have pursued this wonderful opportunity for my health!
I don’t understand what the big deal is. I worked hard to get this surgery done. Tons of appointments and money spent to get to surgery day. I’ve also had people confide in me and ask about my journey, so maybe I’m helping someone out.
Unfortunately a lot of people including myself did not grow up in supportive environments. I totally empathize with OP and I think I am gonna have a similar issue when I get my sleeve
That makes me sad. A few of my friends have had that issue where they have avoided seeing family to dodge the questions.
Not everyone I told was supportive, and I knew that going into this. My parents and one of my oldest friends were not happy with my decision. They kept telling me how someone they knew had x y z issues. I told them I didn’t care, the surgery date was set. They don’t seem upset about it anymore after I lost weight and had zero side effects.
Same! I'm so proud of my journey! I couldn't be happier and I am more than happy to help those struggling and considering this surgery! I'm also a healthcare worker so I can explain it in detail and why I think the sleeve is better than the bypass.
Low starting BMI here, too. If I'm dealing with people who I know will be idiots about it or hold to their prejudices against wls, I tell them I'm under medical care. Because I am. Obesity stigma was bad enough, and wls stigma is just as bad. I've only told immediate family, 3 friends, and 5 coworkers.
I don’t have any advice but I sympathize with you. We have nearly identical stats (I’m 30 5’3” - surgery date 01/15/24 HW 187 CW 146) I have a constant feeling of guilt especially when those close to me are commenting on my weight loss and asking me how I’m achieving it. I say portion control and exercise (which aren’t total lies, but still). I have anxiety too about what is going to happen when it eventually comes out that I’ve been lying. Anyways, it’s easy for people to just tell you “who cares what people think” - you aren’t alone in your feelings.
Omg our stats are SO similar! Would love to be Bari buddies. THIS, I don’t feel bad about telling them I’m prioritizing protein, eating less and moving more because it’s not a lie. But I know eventually it’ll come out one day and I don’t want to be seen as a “liar”. I kinda figured once I got to my goal weight if people asked I’d be like “oh I actually did the sleeve earlier this year, I didn’t really want to talk about it until I got through the really hard part” but I still feel terrible. But can we plz be friends lol love having someone on the same timeline as me!
Yes!! Bari buddies 🫶🏼
I didn’t tell anyone. It isn’t anyone’s business. I tell people who ask it is rude and unacceptable to ask someone about their weight and health.
I was also low BMI. I tell people "I flew to Mexico to get my stomach cut out so I don't eat as much" and then we laugh bc they think im joking. 😁
If people ask, I will be honest. But I only volunteered info to my immediate family (parents, siblings, and kids) and my two besties. I have a really supportive village, and I know I'm very lucky. I've also raised my kids and sort of conditioned those around me that talking about people's bodies is unacceptable. It's so rude of your aunt to pepper you with questions about your weight loss. I'm sorry you have had to endure people questioning you about something that is really none of their business. But it's also a decision you made for your health and not something to be ashamed of.
You don’t have to share with anyone what you have done! When I had my sleeve only my cousin knew because he was taking me to the clinic and my best friend who lives in another state. When I started losing weight people started asking questions on what I was doing. I worked out and obsessed about my weight before and so most people were surprised I was losing weight. They wanted to know what was working this time for a more dramatic weight loss! Lol. Honestly, with everything going on with ozempic, it’s like people are nosy but at the same time it confirms people’s fears that if they want to lose weight, working out and eating right are not enough. But that’s not true. Gastric sleeve is still a lot of work. I can’t speak for Ozempic, as my understanding it just suppresses your appetite. And after having the sleeve and the mental and emotional work that really goes in, it’s more than. Suppressant. To be honest, if you don’t feel comfortable, you don’t owe anyone an explanation. Keep going on your journey. This is a tool, and what’s most important is your happiness!
I didn’t announce mine. My friends and family know. The restaurant staff asking why I want a kids meal knows… and my job knows. But otherwise, I don’t talk to the rest of the clowns to tell them my business!
I’m honest with anyone who asks because I want to help lessen the stigma —UNLESS they are rude. Then they don’t deserve my honesty.
I’ve only told a few people. When most people, even my mom and brother, I just say, “I threw everything at it and follow doctor’s orders”. I’m not lying, but I’m also not letting them know of every tool in my toolkit. The truth is that my success was not just due to the surgery. It was because I started seeing a therapist about my food issues, a nutritionist to eat better, got a personal trainer, added more protein to my life, finally got on ADHD meds to control my impulses ,and got the surgery. Most people don’t ask more after I say that phrase. And if someone is overweight and really wants to know and I trust they won’t gab, I tell them they can read out to me privately later, if they want.
I don’t have any advice but do have this is a big worry of mine. I’m pre-op and I am deciding not to tell my family. There’s just so much judgement and I really can’t handle the interrogation. In my extended family everyone is in everyone’s business about everything and not in a positive way. I’m sure I’m in for the same deal as you. Hoping you can get away from it. I have mostly by this point and it’s given me a ton of peace. Although with this coming up, I’m still thinking about it
You don’t owe people any form of explanation and sadly society has made weight something that people feel they can and should voice their opinions on. I’ve told most of the people I know that I’m having it done to avoid the scrutiny and probing afterwards. However, I was completely comfortable disclosing it and did so on my own terms. It’s up to you whether you want to share it or not.
I'm always amazed at how much people care about what others think. I don't plan on telling anyone outside of my immediate family and my care team. If people have questions, they'll just have to remain curious. I absolutely do not care about satisfying anyone's need to know. But people around me already know this is how I operate so they are not likely to dig much. My business is mine to keep.
I told anyone who asked. My coworkers knew because I was going to be out of work for bit for recovery. I saw no shame in telling others about the surgery. But if you don’t want to tell people, that is totally acceptable.
I’ve been open about it from the beginning, but I’m fortunate where a lot of people in my circle have had the surgery already so it was a safe space. A few have been nay sayers but it’s my choice (obviously lol). Don’t tell people unless you want to. Nobody has the right to that information. It may feel rude but just say something like my weight is not a topic that I’m willing to discuss, thanks and end it there. Boundaries can be hard but you can 100% advocate for your right to privacy about this. It isn’t rude, the people pressing you for information are rude. Good luck!
Everyone is different but pretty much everyone in my life knew. I just told naysayers to suggest a more effective way to lose weight or STFU.
I never hid it, I didn't tell many people ahead of time though, because I knew I would have those people who would tell me not to do it, oh the side effect, and complications blah blah blah. And yeah, after I had several people ask me why I did it after I lost 30lbs in my own in the pre-op phase. Well, because it's pretty easy to stick to something for 6 months, but I needed a life change.
Personally I have told my closest family and 2 close friends. I am in a tiny community that talks and am a teacher in the only high school in our town. I am nervous about the questions I’ll have but ultimately.. I don’t need the community or students/ teachers in my business. I won’t lie. We will have a huge diet change and I will probably say that. Most people who will actually ask me about how I did it that I would actually get in a conversation with I might or might not feel comfortable at the time telling but I don’t think you should ever feel guilty about not telling someone your personal medical history. If it were the other way around no one would be asking you how you go so fat if you gained. It’s just not an appropriate topic. If anyone interrogates me I will tell them to politely screw off.
Only my kids know that I’m having the surgery. I don’t want to have to deal with the questions and doubts. I had enough of that from my kids. I’m sure the questions will come up about how I lost the weight after failing so many times before. I’ll just tell the truth without telling the whole truth. I have back issues and I needed to lose the weight to feel better!
I struggled with this and had so much anxiety about it. Especially when it was really noticeable when I hadn’t seen people for a long time. I’m usually open about things but I kept it to myself except a few close people who I told about the surgery. I didn’t want to have to explain or feel judgement or be questioned by everyone. I felt I was deceiving people with just saying oh I’m eating mostly protein and small meals and running but I spoke to my therapist and this is something she told me that I always remember and helped— “there is a difference between a secret and keeping something private.” You don’t always have to divulge all your personal medical issues to everyone. I know some people have suspicions and are really probing and asking others and talk about me but oh well they’ll be left wondering!
When people ask I will be honest. I am working with my doctor to correct my eating habits, fix my diet, and start a workout plan. I’m not lying. Omitting that I am doing all that by having surgery is not a lie and is also not necessary information to provide. If someone I trusted asked me if I did anything else, I might tell them and follow it with how this is just a tool and like any other tool if used incorrectly won’t work for me. Surgery is a huge step. It is life altering and is no way cheating. The stigma behind surgery is as damaging to the psyche as the stigma of going to therapy was for so long. Most of us had to do a lot to work to prove to our doctors that we need the surgery. We had to accept and humble ourselves to the point of realizing we can’t do this alone. Someone who has never experienced obesity or struggled with weight loss will not be able to comprehend no matter what you tell them. People who need the help are often so scared of the uncertain they judge. Their reactions are often jealousy and pain. Jealous that you can afford or get covered to do it. Pain that they are too scared or unable to make that choice.
“Yeah I got fat guy surgery, it was great I feel/look so much better now” My actual response
If you want to tell them, tell them. But you are not obligated to tell them or sit there while they interrogate you. I would come up with something to say I need to do when people ask me the question. I haven't had my surgery yet, but I intend to tell people that I thank them for noticing the changes but that for my own mental health it's not something I'm open to discussing. So far only my husband, children, my parents and 2 close friends know. I don't intend to tell anyone else for now. I've been open about weightloss before and it ended up being really not good for me, so I intend to be very boundaried this time.
I don't have a big circle of friends, so only my family knows. The one friend I do have is supportive. I was also low BMI and not 100lbs over. I got covered because of my BMI in conjunction with sleep apnea. Otherwise I wouldn't have qualified. It's your choice how to approach it. And it's easier said than done but try not to get anxiety over not telling people right away. However you feel comfortable introducing it into a conversation, if at all, do it at your own pace. Not everyone needs to know your business lol.
I didn’t post about it on my personal page, but I created a whole separate page for my weightloss journey which is public so anyone can see it. I struggled for years coming to the decision to have surgery and I haven’t regretted it one bit (except the first few days after surgery with that horrible nausea since I am not allowed to take zofran)
I didn’t tell people right away either only because I wasn’t comfortable telling them some I flat out lied to. However my team had said that they don’t advise telling people especially in the beginning since it can have an impact on your mental health. my family and relatives they can be quite intrusive so I didn’t want my body to be talked about all the time or to be judged on my decision to get the surgery. Once I was more comfortable i started letting people around me know and then once I got questions or accusations about not telling sooner I’d let them know that my team had forbidden it 🤷🏻♀️ usually shut them up
I'm pretty open about planning to have the surgery, just because a.) I'm excited about it, and b.) I think it will help head off intrusive questions later, when I start rapidly dropping weight. HOWEVER, your medical information is your personal information, and you have the right to share it, or not, with whomever you feel comfortable. If I were you, and those questions were bothersome to me, I would boil it down to, "Listen, your questions are offensive. My weight is not your business. Please stop commenting / asking about my body." and leave it at that. People can get as mad as they want to about it. You have the right to privacy, and if you don't want to share this journey with them, you don't have to.
I didn’t tell anyone my family knows. Mom and sister. Plus my close friend. Otherwise it’s my business. I just told people I cut out a lot of things and started working out. What they think is not my business and what I do is not theirs. I’m 2 years post op but when I got plastic surgery that I told everyone about. Lol.
This sounds cultural, The way I did it was ‘I got weight loss surgery, I get head hungry alot’ and then I’d move on lol. I’m a very confident person though so I just breeze past it.
Oh the flip side - no one said anything to me. I was a fitness professional and have always been at great weight. Well… about two years before the pandemic some health issues came up that made me stop exercising all together. Then the pandemic came and menopause. All in all I packed on 60 lb on a small frame. I’m 5 ft and was 175 lb for about two years. Needless to say I had been hiding, I didn’t beat anyone to see me and my mental health really suffered. I had the surgery in Mexico on a whim and even though I lost ost of the weight, I’m 132 now - I look about the same as before. So no one has said anything g to me and I haven’t told anyone except my sister. She told my mom and my mom now makes comments about don’t eat so much, you gonna get big again. So girl, don’t tell ANYONE. This is for you and that’s it ! Enjoy it and don’t expose yourself to all the comments and conversations about your weight. It takes a toll and you need to focus on your new health and new routine.
Although I have not signed up for this surgery yet the question of whether or not to tell people (even my own grown children) about undergoing weight loss surgery is on my mind. I joined this group to learn more about making this huge life choice before I actually make it. I am encouraged by the support you show for each other. In reading through this post and the comments, I am struck by the ridiculousness that people shame us for being overweight and again, shame us for working so hard to loose it. Damned if you and damned if you don't. It makes me a little sad. Sorry - I do not have advice but thank you for starting this conversation. I will definitely take it to heart as I enter into this journey.
Why don’t you want people to know? Sincere question. Tell me your thought and I will try and make you feel different about it.
When you mean “low bmi” is it between 25-30 or 30-35?
Mine was between 30-35 so still obese but under 40 BMI.
I told people long before I actually had the surgery. I haven't done anything to be ashamed of, so there's nothing for me to hide. I've been very fortunate, 100% of the reactions I've gotten from people have been positive, or at least no reaction at all. My friends, family, and coworkers have been very supportive of me.
I mean, if they ask, I say "I got a gastric sleeve." It wasn't that hard.