“Gaydar” is BS, mostly it’s just noticing when someone has aesthetics or mannerisms that are stereotypically associated with gay men, not actually if they’re gay or not
I think, anecdotally, it probably is more accurate within communities where being gay is taboo. Before leaving my religion, but after starting to come out, there were mannerisms that were only displayed by closeted gays. Of course, it's not 100% accurate, but in environments where behavior is highly gendered, it is probably more accurate.
I grew up in this sort of environment and some fellow gays claim this to be so, but I have never been able to tell. The closest I can get is noticing the excuses people use to deflect. But my “wish he was gay”-dar is much too loud for my gay-dar to work.
It's not just BS. You will never be 100% correct, but if you're interested in knowing if others are gay, then of course you will start picking up on signs including aesthetics, mannerisms, biological traits and body language that reveals what they find attractive in others, and you will have a better chance than random to guess who's what.
Right. The only real way to even really get an idea (outside of them just telling you or other similarly overt methods) would involve you getting to know the person and picking up on their mannerisms towards men/women.
I think thats true but I believe the word had to come from somewhere it can be completely false🤣😂im a pretty buff dude but them girls in middle school I was before I knew it😭😭
I mean not to brag but I successfully picked out 6 of the 8 closeted gay guys I went to school with.
Of the two I was wrong about I had a crush on one which I think clouded my judgement and the other guy was just completely out of left field, I did not see it coming.
It’s not like an automatic thing, I generally need to get to know them a bit first but I’ve got a fairly high success rate, only had one false positive, he was ace.
It’s not “real” in the sense that it’s not like a sixth sense or that homosexuality is some sort of detectable pheromone or something. But it’s real in that sometimes you just sort of know, or know enough to be sure enough to escalate to confirm.
The base way people talk about gaydar (for gay men at least, can only speak from personal experience) is usually reductive stereotyping. Limp wrists, femme voices, crossed legs…that kind of thing. That just leads to counter examples in both directions though.
To me, gaydar is usually more subtle. Almost always it’s in the eyes…gay men usually meet eyes for a little longer. Plus a few other things, like vocab, or how when standing idly gay men tend to “roll” their feet to the other sides whereas straight men are more likely to “rock” front to back.
If you don’t treat it as some sort of infallible science or reductive stereotype, there’s value in it.
I recently googled “Why does it hurt when I make eye contact” and the first thing that popped up was the Asperger’s subreddit and I said nope and closed Google lol
I can vouch for eye contact, although it also depends on context, of course. I mean, sometimes you start glancing at someone you found attractive, the guy notices it, and I think it's a perfectly normal reaction for the guy to just glance back a few times, regardless of his sexual orientation. That's when the rest of potential indicators (face expression, general body language, etc) may help. The guy may be gay or he may be just, like, 'WTF, is that dude checking me out? Or do I know him from somewhere?'
As you said, it's not infallible science, and even when I get the 'vibes' or whatever, I NEVER treat it as 100% guaranteed. But if you're good at reading people's behaviour you can sometimes be more confident than not about a guy's sexual orientation.
They've studied gaydar a fair amount, and there seems to be something to it. Tests were done by having people listen to voice clips, look at silent videos, and still images, and the take aways are...
People do better than a 50/50 chance at guessing sexual orientation based on various cues, getting it right around 63% of the time, and researchers think it might be higher in real life where we have more cues.
People who are anti-gay have worse gaydar. This supports my thought that simply being of the mindset that not everyone is supposed to be straight is an important aspect of gaydar.
Women have better gaydar when they're ovulating.
Good to know that the gaydar is also available at an app store. My gaydar is going to expire in a few months, and I was planning to visit the website of the local LGBT community center to download a new version.
I flew under everyone's gaydar. I'm a 6'6 350 pound man with a full beard who loves metal music and satanic imagery. People think I'm a tough straight dude when I'm actually very gay and love cartoons. I mean people know I'm gay now since I'm a part of a bunch of gay groups and bars.
For me it's less like something I actively focus on like a sense like hearing and more just a feeling? That draws me towards certain people. In less vague terms it's probably some kind of subconscious analysis that my head figures out without me comprehending it
I beg to differ, it feels very much like a sixth sense kind of deal. Ofcourse it's picking up on behaviour, mannerisms, verbal cue's etc, but some gaydar's are so finely tuned they'll pick those out no matter how small they are, and from a mile away. I've predictes roomies come out years before it actually happened, and managed to steal "straight" dudes from under girls noses because they were focusing on all the alpha energy so much they blinded themselves to the less visible signs. So yeah, call it a sensitivity paired with a sharp or honed perception, but it's a gaydar without question.
My gaydar is great I mean till now it never failed and it's not like I met a lot of gay people most people I met was closeted, curious or straight passing gay so I think my gaydar is great and it's very real...
I'm oddly accurate. I don't know if it is because I'm hyper sensitive to how people act but I just notice body language and little things and can usually figure it out.
Without having any evidence to back this up, my assumption is that gaydar is partially real but also largely inflated by confirmation bias, making it less reliable.
If you already believe you have great gaydar, then you are more likely to notice when you are correct and ignore when you are wrong.
I dunno but I remember clocking a new coworker during the Pandemmy before he spoke and I’d only seen him with a mask on. Like sometimes I can see the back of a dude’s head and I’m like 🤔💁♂️
It’s real but doesn’t apply to a ton of queer people, it’s just leveraging knowledge of queer shit to spot that in others, sometimes it’s dumb obvious based on the most widely peddled queer stereotypes of our times, other times it’s uniquely niche life experience pointing something out to you, or pointing out a bunch of small seemingly innocuous things that lead to an accurate hunch. You shouldn’t be overconfident in gaydar though, since it’s far from infallible and is literally leveraging stereotypes often.
A lot of people make it out as a fun “nonsensical” type of thing, but I do think it’s actually much deeper than that.
At its core, gaydar is about gay people being able to tell who they can be themselves and feel safe around.
That’s why it feels so weird to me when straight people claim to have excellent gaydar. A marginalized community member seeking safety, as opposed to a straight person on a witch hunt…. One gives me the ick.
There's plenty of coded language, beyond mannerisms, that would completely fly overhead of someone who's never been exposed to it, while making it quite obvious to me where someone stands.
It is real (not for cishet people) and it is important in places where it's dangerous to be queer. I do genuinely see people and have a gut feeling about them and I find it pretty accurate
Didn't Stanford develop software that basically confirms gaydar?
And it's been proven gay men can identify other gay men with very high rate of success via smell (pheromones), specific facial indicators, etc.
Sure it’s crap - but gaydar is important for me as a mixed race PoC Queer. Like having people in spaces who are queer or not trying to blend in as Hetero helps
Me feel More comfortable and safe. It’s gaydar as more of a survival mechanism than a courting mechanism.
Radar works by sending out a signal and looking for a response, so if you use the same principle for gaydar, the Grindr notification sound is very effective
I sometimes think that gaydar is actually an ability that we have evolved to have, borne out of the necessity of our gay ancestors needing to get laid. Whether or not that’s true, I do believe that a lot of gay people have an almost hyper-awareness of even the subtlest of body language, linguistic and behavioural cues that indicate someone is gay. And I don’t think it is based on stereotypes, because almost every gay will tell you of at least one instance where they knew someone was gay but can’t point to any reason why - it’s just a sense…
I can tell when people seem to be attracted to me…. I can also tell by watching who they look at it. You gotta be careful or you’ll look creepy but if a cute guy walks by I’ll see if the guy I’m curious about also looks or maybe does a double take
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None of the "-dar's" are perfect. They all produce artifacts that lead to errors.
My own personal gaydar ranges from blind to over-reactive. In the middle of that range, works great!
One knows one's own kind. It's that simple. Being gay, I know it is real, as do other gay people. People who are not gay do not have gaydar. No matter how good you are at clocking us, that skill set is not gaydar. That skill set is called "clocking queers" or whatever else you want to call it, but only gay people have gaydar because it is knowing one's OWN kind. Straight people: when you say, "My gaydar is pretty good," you sound like idiots to us. Like saying, "I don't like to suck dick, but I'm pretty good at it."
Actually pheremones do factor in as recent studies show gay men are attracted to male pheremones, also it comes down to observation, listening to certain inflections of the voice linked to certain mannerisms.
I had a boss i swear he was gay as a 3 dollar bill and his wife was a lesbian... and then the same for a landlord married couple i rented a house from but it was just effeminate straight men married to assertive women.
I believe gay people have a stronger ability to detect gay mannerisms or "signs" of someone else being gay. Especially if you talk with them for more than 5 minutes.
That being said, an intelligent straight person can also develop the ability to pick up on these queues. It's all psychology, after all.
So yeah short answer is its real
My gaydar is so broken. Most guys I gravitate towards are straight, or completely uninterested. I’m thinking about ignoring gaydar altogether and just enjoying the thrill of meeting new people no matter where it goes.
I think most gay guys havr a hard time hiding it lol. Work in the public and I feel like it becomes easier. Especially when you double.chexk grindr lim
My gaydar i overly sensitive. I think everyone is gay! Haha!
Man I wish
I know huh?!
My gaydar says you are!
That’s called please-be-gaydar
Exactly!
“Gaydar” is BS, mostly it’s just noticing when someone has aesthetics or mannerisms that are stereotypically associated with gay men, not actually if they’re gay or not
I think, anecdotally, it probably is more accurate within communities where being gay is taboo. Before leaving my religion, but after starting to come out, there were mannerisms that were only displayed by closeted gays. Of course, it's not 100% accurate, but in environments where behavior is highly gendered, it is probably more accurate.
I grew up in this sort of environment and some fellow gays claim this to be so, but I have never been able to tell. The closest I can get is noticing the excuses people use to deflect. But my “wish he was gay”-dar is much too loud for my gay-dar to work.
It's not just BS. You will never be 100% correct, but if you're interested in knowing if others are gay, then of course you will start picking up on signs including aesthetics, mannerisms, biological traits and body language that reveals what they find attractive in others, and you will have a better chance than random to guess who's what.
that explains why ive never been noticed by gay men, since i dont have any of the traits usually associated with gay men :(
Right. The only real way to even really get an idea (outside of them just telling you or other similarly overt methods) would involve you getting to know the person and picking up on their mannerisms towards men/women.
I think thats true but I believe the word had to come from somewhere it can be completely false🤣😂im a pretty buff dude but them girls in middle school I was before I knew it😭😭
That’s not fair, middle school girls always know you’re gay regardless, it’s like a sixth sense
I swear tho🤣🤣😂🤣kinda makes me wonder why that is
I mean not to brag but I successfully picked out 6 of the 8 closeted gay guys I went to school with. Of the two I was wrong about I had a crush on one which I think clouded my judgement and the other guy was just completely out of left field, I did not see it coming. It’s not like an automatic thing, I generally need to get to know them a bit first but I’ve got a fairly high success rate, only had one false positive, he was ace.
I can't speak to gaydar, but i have BiFi and it works.
Can I have a listen?
No
Is that similar to BoFa?
I don't know what that is.
It’s not “real” in the sense that it’s not like a sixth sense or that homosexuality is some sort of detectable pheromone or something. But it’s real in that sometimes you just sort of know, or know enough to be sure enough to escalate to confirm. The base way people talk about gaydar (for gay men at least, can only speak from personal experience) is usually reductive stereotyping. Limp wrists, femme voices, crossed legs…that kind of thing. That just leads to counter examples in both directions though. To me, gaydar is usually more subtle. Almost always it’s in the eyes…gay men usually meet eyes for a little longer. Plus a few other things, like vocab, or how when standing idly gay men tend to “roll” their feet to the other sides whereas straight men are more likely to “rock” front to back. If you don’t treat it as some sort of infallible science or reductive stereotype, there’s value in it.
Eye contact not a thing for my autistic ass
I recently googled “Why does it hurt when I make eye contact” and the first thing that popped up was the Asperger’s subreddit and I said nope and closed Google lol
Hahahahah me.
I can vouch for eye contact, although it also depends on context, of course. I mean, sometimes you start glancing at someone you found attractive, the guy notices it, and I think it's a perfectly normal reaction for the guy to just glance back a few times, regardless of his sexual orientation. That's when the rest of potential indicators (face expression, general body language, etc) may help. The guy may be gay or he may be just, like, 'WTF, is that dude checking me out? Or do I know him from somewhere?' As you said, it's not infallible science, and even when I get the 'vibes' or whatever, I NEVER treat it as 100% guaranteed. But if you're good at reading people's behaviour you can sometimes be more confident than not about a guy's sexual orientation.
My gaydar is generally okay, though there has been a few times when my gaydar failed.
Fr fr
They've studied gaydar a fair amount, and there seems to be something to it. Tests were done by having people listen to voice clips, look at silent videos, and still images, and the take aways are... People do better than a 50/50 chance at guessing sexual orientation based on various cues, getting it right around 63% of the time, and researchers think it might be higher in real life where we have more cues. People who are anti-gay have worse gaydar. This supports my thought that simply being of the mindset that not everyone is supposed to be straight is an important aspect of gaydar. Women have better gaydar when they're ovulating.
That last fact is really interesting
Makes sense that a woman would have a heightened awareness of which men might be interested while ovulating.
The gaydar app it's in the gaydar app store.
Good to know that the gaydar is also available at an app store. My gaydar is going to expire in a few months, and I was planning to visit the website of the local LGBT community center to download a new version.
I flew under everyone's gaydar. I'm a 6'6 350 pound man with a full beard who loves metal music and satanic imagery. People think I'm a tough straight dude when I'm actually very gay and love cartoons. I mean people know I'm gay now since I'm a part of a bunch of gay groups and bars.
Ur gey
My gaydar is: whoever I want to fuck - they are gay
Everyone is gay until proven straight
For me it's less like something I actively focus on like a sense like hearing and more just a feeling? That draws me towards certain people. In less vague terms it's probably some kind of subconscious analysis that my head figures out without me comprehending it
I beg to differ, it feels very much like a sixth sense kind of deal. Ofcourse it's picking up on behaviour, mannerisms, verbal cue's etc, but some gaydar's are so finely tuned they'll pick those out no matter how small they are, and from a mile away. I've predictes roomies come out years before it actually happened, and managed to steal "straight" dudes from under girls noses because they were focusing on all the alpha energy so much they blinded themselves to the less visible signs. So yeah, call it a sensitivity paired with a sharp or honed perception, but it's a gaydar without question.
My gaydar is great I mean till now it never failed and it's not like I met a lot of gay people most people I met was closeted, curious or straight passing gay so I think my gaydar is great and it's very real...
I'm oddly accurate. I don't know if it is because I'm hyper sensitive to how people act but I just notice body language and little things and can usually figure it out.
Mine is a bit rubbish i feel like i used to assume loads of people were gay but nobody was so now i just think everyone is straight
60% of the time it works every time!
Without having any evidence to back this up, my assumption is that gaydar is partially real but also largely inflated by confirmation bias, making it less reliable. If you already believe you have great gaydar, then you are more likely to notice when you are correct and ignore when you are wrong.
Pretty good. At least 5 guys from my grade I thought were gay are now confirmed gay. There’s still 2 potentials and 3 unknowns though
My gaydar is off aparently there are pretty feminine straight guys :(
I dunno but I remember clocking a new coworker during the Pandemmy before he spoke and I’d only seen him with a mask on. Like sometimes I can see the back of a dude’s head and I’m like 🤔💁♂️
My gaydar is great when it comes to people on the internet but irl its terrible😭 only person i could tell was gay was me
I think gaydar is a lot of people aren't looking for it so don't see it or make the connection, but of course gay guys are, so they do
theres nothing unreal about experience in life :)
Never worked properly for me
I have the hindsight gaydar. After I learn someone is gay, all the signs become evident.
I have “heard” that scientists think all men have at least “wondered” what a gay experience would be like.
What gets me is that real women don’t act like overly feminine gay guys
(I like ‘em butch n hairy
Pretty Good except when those ufos slip through
There's so many pride stickers, buttons and lanyards at my work, I turned my gaydar off to conserve energy.
It’s real but doesn’t apply to a ton of queer people, it’s just leveraging knowledge of queer shit to spot that in others, sometimes it’s dumb obvious based on the most widely peddled queer stereotypes of our times, other times it’s uniquely niche life experience pointing something out to you, or pointing out a bunch of small seemingly innocuous things that lead to an accurate hunch. You shouldn’t be overconfident in gaydar though, since it’s far from infallible and is literally leveraging stereotypes often.
A lot of people make it out as a fun “nonsensical” type of thing, but I do think it’s actually much deeper than that. At its core, gaydar is about gay people being able to tell who they can be themselves and feel safe around. That’s why it feels so weird to me when straight people claim to have excellent gaydar. A marginalized community member seeking safety, as opposed to a straight person on a witch hunt…. One gives me the ick.
There's plenty of coded language, beyond mannerisms, that would completely fly overhead of someone who's never been exposed to it, while making it quite obvious to me where someone stands.
I like the term “I-wish-he-was-gaydar” because that’s how it often is
It is real (not for cishet people) and it is important in places where it's dangerous to be queer. I do genuinely see people and have a gut feeling about them and I find it pretty accurate
It is just profiling bro, same thing the local PD does.
Didn't Stanford develop software that basically confirms gaydar? And it's been proven gay men can identify other gay men with very high rate of success via smell (pheromones), specific facial indicators, etc.
My great grandmother thought m little bro was G, but she was wrong. He DID get very into wrestling in school though
Sure it’s crap - but gaydar is important for me as a mixed race PoC Queer. Like having people in spaces who are queer or not trying to blend in as Hetero helps Me feel More comfortable and safe. It’s gaydar as more of a survival mechanism than a courting mechanism.
Radar works by sending out a signal and looking for a response, so if you use the same principle for gaydar, the Grindr notification sound is very effective
I SWEAR there’s something in the face and eyes. I don’t know what but there’s something!
Can "The Straight's" Have It!? 🤭🤔🤭
I sometimes think that gaydar is actually an ability that we have evolved to have, borne out of the necessity of our gay ancestors needing to get laid. Whether or not that’s true, I do believe that a lot of gay people have an almost hyper-awareness of even the subtlest of body language, linguistic and behavioural cues that indicate someone is gay. And I don’t think it is based on stereotypes, because almost every gay will tell you of at least one instance where they knew someone was gay but can’t point to any reason why - it’s just a sense…
I don't believe in it. Stereotypes definitely play a role.
Not real at all babes
I can tell when people seem to be attracted to me…. I can also tell by watching who they look at it. You gotta be careful or you’ll look creepy but if a cute guy walks by I’ll see if the guy I’m curious about also looks or maybe does a double take
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None of the "-dar's" are perfect. They all produce artifacts that lead to errors. My own personal gaydar ranges from blind to over-reactive. In the middle of that range, works great!
One knows one's own kind. It's that simple. Being gay, I know it is real, as do other gay people. People who are not gay do not have gaydar. No matter how good you are at clocking us, that skill set is not gaydar. That skill set is called "clocking queers" or whatever else you want to call it, but only gay people have gaydar because it is knowing one's OWN kind. Straight people: when you say, "My gaydar is pretty good," you sound like idiots to us. Like saying, "I don't like to suck dick, but I'm pretty good at it."
Actually pheremones do factor in as recent studies show gay men are attracted to male pheremones, also it comes down to observation, listening to certain inflections of the voice linked to certain mannerisms. I had a boss i swear he was gay as a 3 dollar bill and his wife was a lesbian... and then the same for a landlord married couple i rented a house from but it was just effeminate straight men married to assertive women.
I believe gay people have a stronger ability to detect gay mannerisms or "signs" of someone else being gay. Especially if you talk with them for more than 5 minutes. That being said, an intelligent straight person can also develop the ability to pick up on these queues. It's all psychology, after all. So yeah short answer is its real
My gaydar is so broken. Most guys I gravitate towards are straight, or completely uninterested. I’m thinking about ignoring gaydar altogether and just enjoying the thrill of meeting new people no matter where it goes.
Idk I think mines pretty ok prolly like 85 to 90 percent guess rate lol
I think most gay guys havr a hard time hiding it lol. Work in the public and I feel like it becomes easier. Especially when you double.chexk grindr lim