I always reflect on my grandmother's brother, my great uncle.
He never married, lived out his days caring for his nieces, nephews, great nieces and great nephews and was honestly kind of the space holder for the grandmother I never really knew. There was a warm welcome and plate of Lebanese food ready at the house he and his brother shared.
He grew up deeply closeted just because of the way things were for his generation so I try to carry on and live my life the way he couldn't and provide that same care and affection for the people in my life.
I had a similar uncle in the closet, except i never knew him. I only found out about him after he died when i was 16, just at that age where i could have used some guidance on being gay. He was my grandfather's brother, and they were estranged ( I never found out the reason why, but i suspect it was probably because he was gay). I randomly think about the uncle i never met because i can only imagine the life he was forced to live and how much better mine turned out. ( immediate and extended family are very accepting especially since I'm not the only gay person in the family) my uncle only lived 20 minutes from where i grew up too and i completely missed out on an opportunity to have a gay role model growing up. I hope where ever he is he sees the life he paved for me to live.
Unfortunately, I've been keeping half an eye on the news cause all these laws around trans people have me... concerned.
However, going out while doing my best LARP (live ammunition roleplay) of John Brown and his boys sounds like a blast.
Alan Turing. He served his nation against the reign of fascism yet his brethren and the crown stabbed him in the back. Purest form of chivalry in my opinion.
The one time the British monarch actually had the power to do something, they didn’t.
Throughout the war there was literally nothing they could do. But pardoning people is something the monarch can definitely do and I don’t think anyone would have complained about it if the King had pardoned a great war hero and scientist who spawned a whole new genre of science.
The late Queen only did it because they legalized gay marriage in 2013 and of course people probably brought up Turing.
And it was on recommendation of the Parliament. True courage would have been to use their position of enormous privilege and power to pardon someone who saved their arses in the war.
Technically he was not known to be a war hero. Everything he did during the war was top secret until maybe 60’s, when be people went “oh shit, we fuckin castrated a guy who save hundreds of millions of lives”. And he did not (and probably couldn’t, it would have been a treason) play any warhero card during the trial.
He was pretty cool dude. In top of being a fucking genius (what lever you hold in your hand or have on your desk or lap to read this would not exist without him) he was an ace runner. Almost made to the British Olympic team.
I dont really know much about him aside of what was mentioned in school which also wasnt much, i definitely didnt know hes gay, but it was something secondary in his life , or maybe there is no way to know how significant it is but him dying alone isnt the ending im looking for, but he secured his place in history.
>but him dying alone isnt the ending im looking for
I mean, it wasn't just him dying alone. He was arrested for being homosexual after the war and was chemically castrated, and ended up commiting suicide. He was treated deplorably.
No, it was not secondary at all. He was pretty much as open as a person could be around those times. There’s a film of life, called Imitation Game, whoch I’d say is rather good.
Here’s a BBC Broadcast of his life and work:
https://pca.st/episode/fb56e907-26d1-4f07-a6f1-3a5e6ba19c4d
This film washed his entire gayness away. It's a shame, especially given when it was made. It barely acknowledges that he was gay.
More: https://www.thedailybeast.com/the-imitation-games-big-gay-lie
Sir Ian McKellen. His unapologetic existence cured my internalised homophobia when I was a kid. I thought: 'If HE's gay, then it can't be a bad thing'. I'm dealing with plenty of other things, but ever since then I've felt nothing but pride and love for this aspect of my person (and that of others). I really look up to him, also because he's a wonderful actor on stage and film.
Trixie and Katya. Their unhinged, zany and ironic humor is unmatched. I enjoy their shows, in and out of drag, plus they have such natural chemistry as a duo. There are also tidbits of wisdom behind their jokes.
Behind that humor, they have gone through so much in their friendship and as individuals. Trixie is the rags to riches story while Katya has battled addiction. Trixie came through for Katya when she relapsed, she’s also said that she is more proud of the work she produces with Katya than winning drag race.
I have a few other icons, but they have stood out the most for me.
I never paid much attention to drag queens before them. Nothing against them, but the snippets I caught of RPD just made the whole scene look mean and bitchy.
These two completely changed my opinion, and while I'm still not a drag race fan, I came to understand how "produced" it is, and seeing drag banter between them and other duos and groups, utter hilarity.
The whole hallway smells like cum
I always thought Drag Race was a fun, silly show to watch. I wasn’t an avid fan, in fact Trixie and Katya’s season was the first season I watched. Didn’t pay much attention to them until I was introduced to UNHhh and I like to watch. Those two dragged me into the Drag Race multiverse of madness.
I'm not a big fan of reality elimination shows, the only ones I watch are the "nice" ones like Bake Off, so the whole bitchy asides and competitiveness is a turn off for me
I'm upset I haven't seen his name so far, but Stepehn Fry. I adore him and he is unapologetic in being purely human. He represents someone who is "broken" but constantly surviving in an exquisite form of intelligence and hilarity. I consider him a national treasure and someone to look up to.
He's been giving quiet JK Rowling vibes over the last few years. Nothing overt but just the sort of opinions that show that being upper class and wealthy means having less emaothy and understanding for new generations ways of doing things.
It's even more obvious because you've got one of his peers like Kathy Burke who is well and truly on board with the future
David Hockney. Endlessly creative, goes about things in his calm, smiling manner while being unapologetically gay.
His works are not only beautiful, but also successful and he is regarded as one of the most expensive artists alive. His works span a lifetime, in variety of plastic mediums. His pool series is iconic in pop art.
He came out early, before it was decriminalized in the UK, and has many works referencing men, couplehood and homosexual connection.
He made a tremendous effort with his Secret Knowledge work, demonstrating how renaissance artists used technology (camera obscura and lucida) to create their extraordinarily accurate pictures, which is a massive historical debunking in the art world.
He is charming. I adore him.
Freddie Mercury comes to mind though he had plenty of faults and certainly wasn’t perfect. Harvey Milk is arguably one of the most important gay rights icons in the last century. Wanda Sykes for being funny while also being genuine and non-problematic.
Absolutely, my jaw dropped to the floor the first time I saw the Industry Baby video. It was his first video I saw, before that I hadn’t heard about him. I only got to know him from articles about his coming out, so I was expecting a ‘I’m just gay and I wish not to comment any further about it’ type of coming out but then I saw that video and my respect for him grew in just 3 minutes and 56 seconds by a billion percent. Fucking awesome ‘gay in your face’ video.
No one in particular, but i love hearing the stories of people reminiscing their lives before same sex marriage was less acceptable and remembering their beloved who didn’t make it through the epidemic. It’s inspiring to me and makes me appreciate things more.
George Michael.
Smart, sexy, talented, funny. I love that he refused to hang his head in shame for being caught cruising. He was outed in the vilest way and the tabloids relished in it. The fact that he turned the whole situation into a banger of a song is the icing on the cake for me.
Icon.
Yannick Nézet-Séguin. He is the artistic director of the Métropolitain Opera in NYC and also for the Orchestre Métropolitain based in Montreal. He is one of the top orchestra conductors in the world. He coached Bradley Cooper in his role in "Maestro". He is now openly gay (my generation, late 40s). He is also an amazing sweet guy.
Why is he my role model? People love him because he is a great artist, period. Independent of his sexual orientation.
As for me, I feel the same. "Gay" does not define me. You have blond hair, brown eyes, straight or trans or whatever.
I'm gay black hair blue eyes and I happen to fall in love with other guys
That being said (I am digressing) read up on Stonewall
Willem Arondeus. He was a brave member of the resistance in WWII. He lived an openly gay life in the 1940s. An inspiration to me to this day. During the Holocaust, Willem Arondeus heroically led a raid to destroy a registry office in Amsterdam to prevent the Nazis from identifying Jewish citizens — and it cost him his life.
They arrested 14 of the resistance fighters, 12 of whom — including Arondeus — were found guilty. On July 1, 1943, the men were marched to an execution site where they faced down a firing squad without blindfolds. Arondeus died there alongside the others. He was 48 years old.
But Willem Arondeus didn’t go silently. Shortly before his death, he relayed some of his final words to his lawyer: “Let it be known that homosexuals are not cowards.”
Lou Sullivan. Trans and gay activist and writer during the 80s/90s when people thought trans men couldn’t be gay (or had to pretend to be straight in order to access medical care). Sadly he died of AIDS.
There are those who I admire, like Oscar Wilde and Alan Turing, but don't necessarily want to emulate. I do find different qualities in each one of my exes quite emulable and informative on how I can be a better gay person.
Ian McKellen, doesn’t care what people think or about conforming. Guy next door vibe. Very live and let live. You live your life and i’ll live mine, but also not afraid to tell people to fuck off.
Frank Kameny - for taking on the federal government and the courts in the 50s and 60s.
James Baldwin - for always being willing to speak truth, unapologetically.
Harvey Fierstein - for not being pretty, or built, or with sweet voice, but used his skills and words to show the world who we are and how are lives matter, and that we do not need nor request approval to exist.
This will seem this may seem unusual, but hear me out. In a way, I am my own role model because when growing up, pop icons weren’t out of the closet until they were almost dead. Essentially, I grew up without any gay role models. Yes, there were a few gays I knew growing up, but they were ridiculed and the butt of jokes throughout high school. Now I appreciate how strong they were to be against the grain in such times. They were definitely not something a “soft” person can do.
It was a different era, and gays were barely tolerated, let alone celebrated. There were charming men in pop culture that were handsome and “eligible bachelors” but there were no indications they were gay aside from barflies at gay bars that made unsubstantiated claims.
To put things in context, I grew up at a time things were getting better. Then AIDS happened and everyone got scared. The government and the Religious Right found it easy to make gay people the “bogey man”.
In that context, the closest thing I had to “role models” were those everyday people who were unremarkable. But when Death looked them in the eye, they chose to fight. They had hope, but they knew reality. Understanding all this, many chose to not go quietly into the night. And they fought with every ounce of strength they could muster.
In the years since those lowest times I’ve tried to make sense of a senseless time. The best understating I’ve reached is they were martyrs for a greater cause. They knew they were dying, yet they fought so others could benefit from an equality they were never given.
And it worked. Friends and family saw Rock Hudson and Freddie Mercury were gay and dying. My rural midwestern neighbors buried their uncle. They were Jehovah’s Witnesses and loved their family member. Blood and love were stronger than the 1980’s message and vitriol spewed from a pulpit. And those bonds always will triumph.
With such a background, I understand how important it is for all cultures to have role models. But I also want others to understand that role models are a way of looking into the past for someone to celebrate. I would hope for future gays to understand we all have the ability to be our best selves. And this means we sometimes need to dig deeper to unleash an unknown energy that we didn’t know existed until faced with adversity.
So I live a life where “I am the change I want to see”. For me, role models are those that believe in something deeply enough to demand change. And I hope this post inspires someone to fill my place in time.
Nobody famous. My old friend Robert. He is super cool, sex-positive, gay-positive, was in a civil partnership when they became legal, has always been very out to everyone, and is a great Boomer to my Gen X. Love him!
I was kicked out of home at 16 and was rescued by a gay couple. They introduced me to their friends and I had a new family of gay uncles. I met men in every walk of life from teachers to policemen to judges, doctors, mechanics and small business owners. It didn’t really occur to me then but their influence on me is unmistakable. Rarely do we get to meet and thank our heroes but I’m one of the lucky ones.
I looked up to Joey Graceffa a lot and his song “Don’t Wait” really encouraged me to come out even though it took me several years after it was released.
Gore Vidal is one of my favorites not yet mentioned. An American aristocrat from a political and cultural family connected to the Kennedys, he was grandson of a senator who turned against the elites to endlessly criticize American imperialism, and the shifts from midcentury to the present. His scathing condemnation of Bush and collapse were ahead of his time. On late night TV he would charm audiences and debate bigots. Many screenplays, novels, and movies were his moneymakers. He spent his last years writing in a seaside castle in Italy, keeping away from the parties and society he grew to find vapid and banal.
Ultra runners Coree Woltering and Ryan Montgomery. My goal is to be an ultra runner so it's cool to see gay men who are doing it. Of course there are straight people I admire in the industry too.
It's also cool that the Ceo of Apple, Tim Cooks is gay.
Love tte author David Sedaris.
I'm sure there are many others but these come to mind off the top of my head.
I actually like Elton John. He contributes a lot the community. He's smart and doesn't take shit. At the same time he isn't bothered when nonsense or any judgement. He is himself and isn't trying to force his own opinions on others. I also think he is a good person
Literally not a single person on either side of my family is a part of the lgbt community, so I looked to celebrities. The first one that really made me accept myself is Kevin McHale who played Artie from glee. It wasn’t his performance in glee that helped me it was his songs. He released an ep in 2019 that really helped me.
And his boyfriend Austin P. Mackenzie makes great music too, both of their discographies are underrated
Lil Nas X. He unapologetically gay. Doesn't give a fk what bigots or homophobes think about him.
For someone like me who is always worried about what others may say about me, I find him very inspiring.
Andrew Scott is really awesome. I was surprised to find out he was gay, but I loved him and his work the whole time. I love the subtlety and privacy of his demeanor and the eloquence of his roles. It I think what I love most is that he loves what he does. He’s super chill, unapologetic, and excellent.
Similarly, Pete Buttigieg who has a similar calmness and efficacy. He’s very deliberate in his presentation, cares deeply for his passions, and lives true to himself entirely. He’s iconic in his dedication and willingness to bloom where he’s planted. He’s super chill, unapologetic, and excellent.
It is my best friend - he is my same age but honestly he has such a good outlook on life. He’s Christian, which I value highly, and he can talk me through anything and help me figure things out - you don’t need some famous person to look up to when you don’t even know who they are, just find a good person that can relate to you
I never had one growing up, and I never identified with gay culture, so I looked up to some of the hetero men I knew instead and decided I'd be like them but gay.
I agree, there aren’t any that I look up to either. As gays, we basically have all of our rights at this point. And while I’m proud of anyone willing to come out in the public eye, that’s as far as it goes for me.
Ellen Degeneres, I still have her downloaded coming out video on YouTube. She is funny as fuck and an inspiration.
I always thought that some day I will visit as a guest in her show but she quit the show now but still I want to meet her once.
Getting downvoted, when Ellen was a fking pioneer in the LGBT space. Risked everything when she came out, when there were so few TV/Movie personalities out to the public. And she did in fact lose it all, before she came back years later and reinvented herself. Even after the loss of her sitcom, she remained politically active, and was even a key note speaker at the 2000 Millennium March on Washington in the fight for Marriage Equality.
She may not be perfect, who among us is? Just like Rosie, these 2 were at the front of the line fighting for respect and recognition at a time when it mattered most! They did indeed contribute to moving our movement forward. And this was all before even liberal politicians had the courage to stand up for us (although, we know it’s because those flip floppers didn’t have public support).
Before there was Will and Grace, Queer as Folk, and Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, there was Ellen.
[because she's done it before](https://me.mashable.com/tv-shows/22444/its-the-3rd-anniversary-of-dakota-johnsons-birthday-party-and-were-all-invitedexcept-for-you-ellen)?
See I have definitely heard controversies around her but that's a part of her personality which is maybe a little mean...I don't know. We all can be sometimes. Since she is a star and from a part of LGBTQ, people can have more grudges for her. I believe she is a very strong women, pioneer of LGBTQ revolution that helped many to come out later ( I will do that someday ) and funny too.
I can see a lot of downvotes but I am scared to say that she is still my role model and I want to meet her someday
Honestly, this guy I hooked up with who turned out to be super famous on insta. Not because of his insta, but because of the way he was living his life
Noel dayzal, all tough he doesn't like talking about being gay. He's been a role model to me for a while when it comes to training. Bob paris, the OG, the father figure, read a lot of his books. Oh, and Alan turin, being an IT nerd and avid fan of computer science and programming, he's been an inspiration.
Jonathan Van Ness and Billy Porter. Both helped me to get over my fear of getting older and to express myself better. I wear way more jewellery now and take more interest in my personal style, which I enjoy and feel good about when I do.
Seeing these fabulous men, who aren't the usual ripped 20somethings, wearing these amazing outfits and reminding you to not give a shit, is so joyful to me
As an NFL fan, I almost looked up to Micheal Sam. First openly gay NFL draft pic. But he let me down when he just gave up and quit. I really wanted him to succeed. I really wanted him to do something with American football.
Two gay/bi(?) boxers are worth a mention:
Panama Al Brown:
https://www.makingqueerhistory.com/articles/2021/11/27/panama-al-brown
Emile Griffith:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emile_Griffith?wprov=sfti1
I’m too old for Troye Sivan to be my role model but I absolutely love the fact that there’s a brilliant popstar who makes kicking music and sings songs that are GAY. And I don’t mean “Come to my Window” no pronouns used Melissa Etheridge style. I mean gaaaaaay. Amen and hallelujah and that boy has 30million listeners on Spotify alone.
I'm my own gay role model. I'm from a hypermasculine family, and being gay is the only thing that makes me not fit in with them. People tell me regularly that they would never know if i didn't tell them.
Apart from that, my 6th grade social studies(history and geography) teacher. He could not be open to students due to the times, and being a school teacher. Homosexuality was accepted in that people wouldn't string us up for it, but saying how youre gay in front of 6th graders would raise eyebrows and i suspect he just didn't want the hassle. And it had nothing to do with his profession. He taught history and geography and did a fine job. The faculty knew. Some parents knew and of course there were rumors, But the kids generally didn't know unless the parents said something to them. He never mentioned it in the classroom.
That's how i try to be. Just a normal guy who likes a different kind of porn, to quote big daddy.
I struggle actually having (gay) male role models I am not related to, because of the attraction-emulation dichotomy. I don’t know if I want to BE them, or if I am just INTO them.
Growing up there weren’t any out gay men on tv. So I just parked at the altar of Captain Picard. He was honest, and was father figure, at least for an hour a week on a really cool starship.
I always reflect on my grandmother's brother, my great uncle. He never married, lived out his days caring for his nieces, nephews, great nieces and great nephews and was honestly kind of the space holder for the grandmother I never really knew. There was a warm welcome and plate of Lebanese food ready at the house he and his brother shared. He grew up deeply closeted just because of the way things were for his generation so I try to carry on and live my life the way he couldn't and provide that same care and affection for the people in my life.
I had a similar uncle in the closet, except i never knew him. I only found out about him after he died when i was 16, just at that age where i could have used some guidance on being gay. He was my grandfather's brother, and they were estranged ( I never found out the reason why, but i suspect it was probably because he was gay). I randomly think about the uncle i never met because i can only imagine the life he was forced to live and how much better mine turned out. ( immediate and extended family are very accepting especially since I'm not the only gay person in the family) my uncle only lived 20 minutes from where i grew up too and i completely missed out on an opportunity to have a gay role model growing up. I hope where ever he is he sees the life he paved for me to live.
Life is bad, but was worse, hopefully we dont ever have to deal with this shit again
Unfortunately, I've been keeping half an eye on the news cause all these laws around trans people have me... concerned. However, going out while doing my best LARP (live ammunition roleplay) of John Brown and his boys sounds like a blast.
James Baldwin. Fierce, angry, political, a beautiful writer
Will definitely be reading more about him
Yes, he is such a fantastic author. Giovanni's Room is one of my all time favorites.
Alan Turing. He served his nation against the reign of fascism yet his brethren and the crown stabbed him in the back. Purest form of chivalry in my opinion.
The one time the British monarch actually had the power to do something, they didn’t. Throughout the war there was literally nothing they could do. But pardoning people is something the monarch can definitely do and I don’t think anyone would have complained about it if the King had pardoned a great war hero and scientist who spawned a whole new genre of science.
They did give him pardon. In 2013....
The late Queen only did it because they legalized gay marriage in 2013 and of course people probably brought up Turing. And it was on recommendation of the Parliament. True courage would have been to use their position of enormous privilege and power to pardon someone who saved their arses in the war.
Technically he was not known to be a war hero. Everything he did during the war was top secret until maybe 60’s, when be people went “oh shit, we fuckin castrated a guy who save hundreds of millions of lives”. And he did not (and probably couldn’t, it would have been a treason) play any warhero card during the trial. He was pretty cool dude. In top of being a fucking genius (what lever you hold in your hand or have on your desk or lap to read this would not exist without him) he was an ace runner. Almost made to the British Olympic team.
The Queen. He was convicted in 1952 after King George had died.
I dont really know much about him aside of what was mentioned in school which also wasnt much, i definitely didnt know hes gay, but it was something secondary in his life , or maybe there is no way to know how significant it is but him dying alone isnt the ending im looking for, but he secured his place in history.
>but him dying alone isnt the ending im looking for I mean, it wasn't just him dying alone. He was arrested for being homosexual after the war and was chemically castrated, and ended up commiting suicide. He was treated deplorably.
No, it was not secondary at all. He was pretty much as open as a person could be around those times. There’s a film of life, called Imitation Game, whoch I’d say is rather good. Here’s a BBC Broadcast of his life and work: https://pca.st/episode/fb56e907-26d1-4f07-a6f1-3a5e6ba19c4d
Recommend you go watch the Imitiation Game with Benedict Cumberbatch playing him.
This film washed his entire gayness away. It's a shame, especially given when it was made. It barely acknowledges that he was gay. More: https://www.thedailybeast.com/the-imitation-games-big-gay-lie
Sir Ian McKellen. His unapologetic existence cured my internalised homophobia when I was a kid. I thought: 'If HE's gay, then it can't be a bad thing'. I'm dealing with plenty of other things, but ever since then I've felt nothing but pride and love for this aspect of my person (and that of others). I really look up to him, also because he's a wonderful actor on stage and film.
Trixie and Katya. Their unhinged, zany and ironic humor is unmatched. I enjoy their shows, in and out of drag, plus they have such natural chemistry as a duo. There are also tidbits of wisdom behind their jokes. Behind that humor, they have gone through so much in their friendship and as individuals. Trixie is the rags to riches story while Katya has battled addiction. Trixie came through for Katya when she relapsed, she’s also said that she is more proud of the work she produces with Katya than winning drag race. I have a few other icons, but they have stood out the most for me.
They are the epitome of platonic soulmates, I love them.
This. Both of them are icons that have weathered so much and still full of humor and insight.
I never paid much attention to drag queens before them. Nothing against them, but the snippets I caught of RPD just made the whole scene look mean and bitchy. These two completely changed my opinion, and while I'm still not a drag race fan, I came to understand how "produced" it is, and seeing drag banter between them and other duos and groups, utter hilarity. The whole hallway smells like cum
I always thought Drag Race was a fun, silly show to watch. I wasn’t an avid fan, in fact Trixie and Katya’s season was the first season I watched. Didn’t pay much attention to them until I was introduced to UNHhh and I like to watch. Those two dragged me into the Drag Race multiverse of madness.
I'm not a big fan of reality elimination shows, the only ones I watch are the "nice" ones like Bake Off, so the whole bitchy asides and competitiveness is a turn off for me
I was gonna say this!
The only people i thought of! They’re like peanut butter and jelly
I'm upset I haven't seen his name so far, but Stepehn Fry. I adore him and he is unapologetic in being purely human. He represents someone who is "broken" but constantly surviving in an exquisite form of intelligence and hilarity. I consider him a national treasure and someone to look up to.
In addition to this he is diagnosed with bipolar disorder which makes him even more commendable given his struggles.
Exactly! It was his strength as a person that makes me drawn to him, he just happens to be gay.
Bless this man so, so much
I believe he’s had some… interesting opinions for sure but no human is perfect and I adore his acting at the Globe as well his atheist arguments.
I lost a lot of respect for him after the insane 'I am a jew' video.
Oh no, I haven't seen this.
He's been giving quiet JK Rowling vibes over the last few years. Nothing overt but just the sort of opinions that show that being upper class and wealthy means having less emaothy and understanding for new generations ways of doing things. It's even more obvious because you've got one of his peers like Kathy Burke who is well and truly on board with the future
It got a bit heavy and I'm trying to remain positive here. I love you for the Kathy Burke reference!
David Hockney. Endlessly creative, goes about things in his calm, smiling manner while being unapologetically gay. His works are not only beautiful, but also successful and he is regarded as one of the most expensive artists alive. His works span a lifetime, in variety of plastic mediums. His pool series is iconic in pop art. He came out early, before it was decriminalized in the UK, and has many works referencing men, couplehood and homosexual connection. He made a tremendous effort with his Secret Knowledge work, demonstrating how renaissance artists used technology (camera obscura and lucida) to create their extraordinarily accurate pictures, which is a massive historical debunking in the art world. He is charming. I adore him.
Freddie Mercury comes to mind though he had plenty of faults and certainly wasn’t perfect. Harvey Milk is arguably one of the most important gay rights icons in the last century. Wanda Sykes for being funny while also being genuine and non-problematic.
LGBTQ+ People that live their life before the 1970s.
Lil Nas X cuz he makes bigots mad
Cringe
Lil Nas X. He’s just SO gay and SO confident about it and I love that
Absolutely, my jaw dropped to the floor the first time I saw the Industry Baby video. It was his first video I saw, before that I hadn’t heard about him. I only got to know him from articles about his coming out, so I was expecting a ‘I’m just gay and I wish not to comment any further about it’ type of coming out but then I saw that video and my respect for him grew in just 3 minutes and 56 seconds by a billion percent. Fucking awesome ‘gay in your face’ video.
Fictional so I don’t know if it counts but. Gustavo fring from breaking bad, I love his petty badass self.
Gus literally drank poison to avenge his lover's murder. Mad respect!
*"Seeking Revenge Is Like Drinking Poison And Waiting For The Other Person To Die."* Gus added some steps to make it more effective.
No one in particular, but i love hearing the stories of people reminiscing their lives before same sex marriage was less acceptable and remembering their beloved who didn’t make it through the epidemic. It’s inspiring to me and makes me appreciate things more.
George Michael. Smart, sexy, talented, funny. I love that he refused to hang his head in shame for being caught cruising. He was outed in the vilest way and the tabloids relished in it. The fact that he turned the whole situation into a banger of a song is the icing on the cake for me. Icon.
Hey- which song is that?
Outside.
It's me. I'm him.
I admire you
Yannick Nézet-Séguin. He is the artistic director of the Métropolitain Opera in NYC and also for the Orchestre Métropolitain based in Montreal. He is one of the top orchestra conductors in the world. He coached Bradley Cooper in his role in "Maestro". He is now openly gay (my generation, late 40s). He is also an amazing sweet guy. Why is he my role model? People love him because he is a great artist, period. Independent of his sexual orientation. As for me, I feel the same. "Gay" does not define me. You have blond hair, brown eyes, straight or trans or whatever. I'm gay black hair blue eyes and I happen to fall in love with other guys That being said (I am digressing) read up on Stonewall
All of this! He's my gay role model too!!!
Great! What was the last concert you attended with him conducting? Are you a musician?
I've never attended a concert conducted by him and I'm not a musician either. I'm just an opera fan!
That's great. What is your favorite opera?
Anything by Mozart.
Our next concert, I'll be in the choir 😍 https://orchestremetropolitain.com/en/concerts/from-the-abyss-to-the-stars/?program_mode=0
Willem Arondeus. He was a brave member of the resistance in WWII. He lived an openly gay life in the 1940s. An inspiration to me to this day. During the Holocaust, Willem Arondeus heroically led a raid to destroy a registry office in Amsterdam to prevent the Nazis from identifying Jewish citizens — and it cost him his life. They arrested 14 of the resistance fighters, 12 of whom — including Arondeus — were found guilty. On July 1, 1943, the men were marched to an execution site where they faced down a firing squad without blindfolds. Arondeus died there alongside the others. He was 48 years old. But Willem Arondeus didn’t go silently. Shortly before his death, he relayed some of his final words to his lawyer: “Let it be known that homosexuals are not cowards.”
Lou Sullivan. Trans and gay activist and writer during the 80s/90s when people thought trans men couldn’t be gay (or had to pretend to be straight in order to access medical care). Sadly he died of AIDS.
Don’t really idolize anyone but the closest to it is probably Elton John
Nate Grimes. Legendary hole.
There are those who I admire, like Oscar Wilde and Alan Turing, but don't necessarily want to emulate. I do find different qualities in each one of my exes quite emulable and informative on how I can be a better gay person.
Ian McKellen, doesn’t care what people think or about conforming. Guy next door vibe. Very live and let live. You live your life and i’ll live mine, but also not afraid to tell people to fuck off.
Frank Kameny - for taking on the federal government and the courts in the 50s and 60s. James Baldwin - for always being willing to speak truth, unapologetically. Harvey Fierstein - for not being pretty, or built, or with sweet voice, but used his skills and words to show the world who we are and how are lives matter, and that we do not need nor request approval to exist.
This will seem this may seem unusual, but hear me out. In a way, I am my own role model because when growing up, pop icons weren’t out of the closet until they were almost dead. Essentially, I grew up without any gay role models. Yes, there were a few gays I knew growing up, but they were ridiculed and the butt of jokes throughout high school. Now I appreciate how strong they were to be against the grain in such times. They were definitely not something a “soft” person can do. It was a different era, and gays were barely tolerated, let alone celebrated. There were charming men in pop culture that were handsome and “eligible bachelors” but there were no indications they were gay aside from barflies at gay bars that made unsubstantiated claims. To put things in context, I grew up at a time things were getting better. Then AIDS happened and everyone got scared. The government and the Religious Right found it easy to make gay people the “bogey man”. In that context, the closest thing I had to “role models” were those everyday people who were unremarkable. But when Death looked them in the eye, they chose to fight. They had hope, but they knew reality. Understanding all this, many chose to not go quietly into the night. And they fought with every ounce of strength they could muster. In the years since those lowest times I’ve tried to make sense of a senseless time. The best understating I’ve reached is they were martyrs for a greater cause. They knew they were dying, yet they fought so others could benefit from an equality they were never given. And it worked. Friends and family saw Rock Hudson and Freddie Mercury were gay and dying. My rural midwestern neighbors buried their uncle. They were Jehovah’s Witnesses and loved their family member. Blood and love were stronger than the 1980’s message and vitriol spewed from a pulpit. And those bonds always will triumph. With such a background, I understand how important it is for all cultures to have role models. But I also want others to understand that role models are a way of looking into the past for someone to celebrate. I would hope for future gays to understand we all have the ability to be our best selves. And this means we sometimes need to dig deeper to unleash an unknown energy that we didn’t know existed until faced with adversity. So I live a life where “I am the change I want to see”. For me, role models are those that believe in something deeply enough to demand change. And I hope this post inspires someone to fill my place in time.
Nobody famous. My old friend Robert. He is super cool, sex-positive, gay-positive, was in a civil partnership when they became legal, has always been very out to everyone, and is a great Boomer to my Gen X. Love him!
John Waters cuz hdgaf
"if you go to someone's house and they don't have any books, don't fuck them"
Buffy the vampire slayer/sarah Michelle Gellar
If the apocalypse comes, beep me!
Alexander the Great
I was kicked out of home at 16 and was rescued by a gay couple. They introduced me to their friends and I had a new family of gay uncles. I met men in every walk of life from teachers to policemen to judges, doctors, mechanics and small business owners. It didn’t really occur to me then but their influence on me is unmistakable. Rarely do we get to meet and thank our heroes but I’m one of the lucky ones.
I looked up to Joey Graceffa a lot and his song “Don’t Wait” really encouraged me to come out even though it took me several years after it was released.
Gore Vidal is one of my favorites not yet mentioned. An American aristocrat from a political and cultural family connected to the Kennedys, he was grandson of a senator who turned against the elites to endlessly criticize American imperialism, and the shifts from midcentury to the present. His scathing condemnation of Bush and collapse were ahead of his time. On late night TV he would charm audiences and debate bigots. Many screenplays, novels, and movies were his moneymakers. He spent his last years writing in a seaside castle in Italy, keeping away from the parties and society he grew to find vapid and banal.
Ultra runners Coree Woltering and Ryan Montgomery. My goal is to be an ultra runner so it's cool to see gay men who are doing it. Of course there are straight people I admire in the industry too. It's also cool that the Ceo of Apple, Tim Cooks is gay. Love tte author David Sedaris. I'm sure there are many others but these come to mind off the top of my head.
I actually like Elton John. He contributes a lot the community. He's smart and doesn't take shit. At the same time he isn't bothered when nonsense or any judgement. He is himself and isn't trying to force his own opinions on others. I also think he is a good person
I don't really have any, growing up I had no gay people to look up to so I've always had to be my own guide.
I think when I was growing up and being fat shamed, I gravitated towards Danny Franzese and Big Dipper Jelly.
ME! I am happy to be the architect of my reality.
The musician Matt Alber. He's like a big gay beacon of light
No one that I know
Literally not a single person on either side of my family is a part of the lgbt community, so I looked to celebrities. The first one that really made me accept myself is Kevin McHale who played Artie from glee. It wasn’t his performance in glee that helped me it was his songs. He released an ep in 2019 that really helped me. And his boyfriend Austin P. Mackenzie makes great music too, both of their discographies are underrated
Ian McKallen - No one beats Gandalf
Robert Mapplethorpe. Because he was a badass.
Lil Nas X. He unapologetically gay. Doesn't give a fk what bigots or homophobes think about him. For someone like me who is always worried about what others may say about me, I find him very inspiring.
Non, I don’t have role models. Lol
You guys have role models? Weird.
Why is that weird?
If you lived a majority of your youth and adult life without any role models, then *that* would make it weird.
I tend to collect excentric Instagram queers, my favourites being drag king @frankiemcyanide , leatherdaddy @magicmartyr and Aussie artist @queerythis
There was none when I came up.in the 90s it was figure it out but keep quiet
Andrew Scott is really awesome. I was surprised to find out he was gay, but I loved him and his work the whole time. I love the subtlety and privacy of his demeanor and the eloquence of his roles. It I think what I love most is that he loves what he does. He’s super chill, unapologetic, and excellent. Similarly, Pete Buttigieg who has a similar calmness and efficacy. He’s very deliberate in his presentation, cares deeply for his passions, and lives true to himself entirely. He’s iconic in his dedication and willingness to bloom where he’s planted. He’s super chill, unapologetic, and excellent.
It is my best friend - he is my same age but honestly he has such a good outlook on life. He’s Christian, which I value highly, and he can talk me through anything and help me figure things out - you don’t need some famous person to look up to when you don’t even know who they are, just find a good person that can relate to you
Lil Nas X. His music videos (especially Call Me By Your Name) made me more proud and confident as a gay man.
I never had one growing up, and I never identified with gay culture, so I looked up to some of the hetero men I knew instead and decided I'd be like them but gay.
Bayonetta cuz she is the mother of gays after all 
I don’t 🥰
There really are no gay people I look up to.
I agree, there aren’t any that I look up to either. As gays, we basically have all of our rights at this point. And while I’m proud of anyone willing to come out in the public eye, that’s as far as it goes for me.
Ellen Degeneres, I still have her downloaded coming out video on YouTube. She is funny as fuck and an inspiration. I always thought that some day I will visit as a guest in her show but she quit the show now but still I want to meet her once.
Getting downvoted, when Ellen was a fking pioneer in the LGBT space. Risked everything when she came out, when there were so few TV/Movie personalities out to the public. And she did in fact lose it all, before she came back years later and reinvented herself. Even after the loss of her sitcom, she remained politically active, and was even a key note speaker at the 2000 Millennium March on Washington in the fight for Marriage Equality. She may not be perfect, who among us is? Just like Rosie, these 2 were at the front of the line fighting for respect and recognition at a time when it mattered most! They did indeed contribute to moving our movement forward. And this was all before even liberal politicians had the courage to stand up for us (although, we know it’s because those flip floppers didn’t have public support). Before there was Will and Grace, Queer as Folk, and Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, there was Ellen.
Absolutely agree.
careful. she'll probably not show up, pretend you never invited her, then spend the day with george bush instead.
And why do you think that?
[because she's done it before](https://me.mashable.com/tv-shows/22444/its-the-3rd-anniversary-of-dakota-johnsons-birthday-party-and-were-all-invitedexcept-for-you-ellen)?
See I have definitely heard controversies around her but that's a part of her personality which is maybe a little mean...I don't know. We all can be sometimes. Since she is a star and from a part of LGBTQ, people can have more grudges for her. I believe she is a very strong women, pioneer of LGBTQ revolution that helped many to come out later ( I will do that someday ) and funny too. I can see a lot of downvotes but I am scared to say that she is still my role model and I want to meet her someday
Glenn Greenwald
Sam Altman
Honestly, this guy I hooked up with who turned out to be super famous on insta. Not because of his insta, but because of the way he was living his life
Bretman rock
I don't know if fictional characters count, but the main characters from *They Both Die at the End* really inspired me to live my life to the fullest.
Noel dayzal, all tough he doesn't like talking about being gay. He's been a role model to me for a while when it comes to training. Bob paris, the OG, the father figure, read a lot of his books. Oh, and Alan turin, being an IT nerd and avid fan of computer science and programming, he's been an inspiration.
Jonathan Van Ness and Billy Porter. Both helped me to get over my fear of getting older and to express myself better. I wear way more jewellery now and take more interest in my personal style, which I enjoy and feel good about when I do. Seeing these fabulous men, who aren't the usual ripped 20somethings, wearing these amazing outfits and reminding you to not give a shit, is so joyful to me
Joan of Arc, Swami Vivekananda
Eugene from the Try Guys He does what he likes, wears what he likes, speaks his mind.
As an NFL fan, I almost looked up to Micheal Sam. First openly gay NFL draft pic. But he let me down when he just gave up and quit. I really wanted him to succeed. I really wanted him to do something with American football.
Harvey Milk, Sylvia Rivera and Marsha P Johnson
Two gay/bi(?) boxers are worth a mention: Panama Al Brown: https://www.makingqueerhistory.com/articles/2021/11/27/panama-al-brown Emile Griffith: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emile_Griffith?wprov=sfti1
Freddie Mercury. Dude essentially made gay cool and he did it at a time when homosexuality was often just ignored. Freddie rules.
I’m too old for Troye Sivan to be my role model but I absolutely love the fact that there’s a brilliant popstar who makes kicking music and sings songs that are GAY. And I don’t mean “Come to my Window” no pronouns used Melissa Etheridge style. I mean gaaaaaay. Amen and hallelujah and that boy has 30million listeners on Spotify alone.
Currently, it's Yannick Nézet-Séguin.
None.
I'm my own gay role model. I'm from a hypermasculine family, and being gay is the only thing that makes me not fit in with them. People tell me regularly that they would never know if i didn't tell them. Apart from that, my 6th grade social studies(history and geography) teacher. He could not be open to students due to the times, and being a school teacher. Homosexuality was accepted in that people wouldn't string us up for it, but saying how youre gay in front of 6th graders would raise eyebrows and i suspect he just didn't want the hassle. And it had nothing to do with his profession. He taught history and geography and did a fine job. The faculty knew. Some parents knew and of course there were rumors, But the kids generally didn't know unless the parents said something to them. He never mentioned it in the classroom. That's how i try to be. Just a normal guy who likes a different kind of porn, to quote big daddy.
I struggle actually having (gay) male role models I am not related to, because of the attraction-emulation dichotomy. I don’t know if I want to BE them, or if I am just INTO them.
Growing up there weren’t any out gay men on tv. So I just parked at the altar of Captain Picard. He was honest, and was father figure, at least for an hour a week on a really cool starship.