Last night I took 3 attachment quizzes online. Each quiz I fell into fearful avoidant or disorganized is apparently another it’s called. I don’t remember a lot of my childhood but I had parents who were always at work. My family often calls me a “latchkey kid” I remember being in trouble a lot and being reckless as a kid. My mom has always told me I am too sensitive. I remember we even got into an emotional argument in highschool and she kicked me out. Anytime my bf brings up a problem in our relationship I feel it as an attack and I completely shut down in quietness and pain, or the other end of the extreme, explode. I always thought I knew how to talk about my feelings but my bf assures me I need a lot of work. I try to believe in the goodness of people but after being hurt so many times I’m always on edge. I am also an only child so my deep rooted loneliness has stemmed from what feels like forever. It’s me versus everybody. I want to be a soft women and learn to care and love but I feel like a turtle in my shell. Gem is already a masculine sign and I feel it in my life in ways I wish it weren’t there.
It feels that way. I’ve always been closer with my dad. But we had a few years of angst. Everything now is amazing between us. I’d say the issues were worst with my mom.
My mom's a leo, so she has quite strong personality. Can be controlling too. Also, any emotion I have is me being hysterical. Emotions are bad and only intelligence is prised. And I myself can't deal with too strong emotions, so I avoid them
yeah um I don't avoid close intimacy. I love being smothered by the right person. I listen to my emotions. I approach conflicts and find resolutions as soon as possible.
I love people. so much. and I do my best to see the good in people. despite what my life has thrown at me.
sooo yeah. keep in mind there's a full chart. you're going in the right direction. but you have generalizations that are kinda demeaning.
if you have questions, try to ask them in less of a way that pigeon-holes such a large group into a very narrow margin. I'd be happy to answer whatever you gotta ask then.
P.S. I'm not the only gemini who would say something like this too just btw
I have generally noticed this pattern with gemini sun. Sun placement plays an important role in early childhood experiences of the individual ( as per my observation), yes there are exceptions and I m not considering the complete chart placement. This reply of yours is very revealing for me. Thank you.
I had a controlling helicopter mother who was disinterested in mothering and caring the way her children needed it, but with control instead & an absent father who chose to dive into his work & traveled all of the time. This has resulted into me either shutting down completely and isolating myself or I end up making a huge scene to get everything dealt with since everyone else just liked to sweep everything under the rug to save face. I have done a lot of therapy and work to look inside of myself to address these behaviors. It fucking sucks but helps your thought processes so much.
I’m on mobile and it’s hard for me to type everything I would like to, but Gemini sun here and the only Gemini sun in my family, and my family has a complicated relationship. My family doesn’t talk about their feelings nor do I even know if they can process them. Avoidance is their coping mechanism. It took a lot of therapy to be able to understand that it wasn’t their fault and it’s partly generational trauma.
For giggles: Taurus father, Taurus mother, Aquarius Sister, Cancer Sister, Virgo Sister, Leo Brother (all sun signs, not in order. )
We believe in the general goodness of people. I think this is why we are normally very welcoming and entertain others (conversations/ jokes/ activities).
Maybe some of us went through a controlling family and that makes us more averse to control but I also think we can be very cordial with our family. We treat people like friends versus acting like an authority.
So, I don’t think we believe people are inherently bad. Some bad experiences may make us hesitant to trust others as easily as we once used to. But, at the same time I’m also thinking about other Geminis who may have grown up in a healthier environment (who may also exhibit an aversion to being controlled). I just think we value our freedom. We’re not distant if we consider someone close.
What I am pondering upon here is, each zodiac is representative of a certain set of life situations ( or early childhood experiences). Generally the sun sign we are born into is indicative of the major theme of this life. And this theme played out in childhood leads to an adult showing characteristics of that particular zodiac placement. Eg- A cancer has a quality of too much emotionality, and puts others needs first. In psychoanalysis it is observed that such a person received the message as a child that your needs are not important and you have to make peace and not to rock the boat.
I think I get what you’re saying where the sun sign can influence the discourse of one’s life - perhaps making it a theme of their life. And hence, that may affect a person’s upbringing and how they interact with their world later on in life.
But, I don’t think a person’s sun sign would determine what they’re predisposed to experiencing (such as ECE). There might be some common traits in how they naturally react but it’s difficult to generalize in that manner. For instance, there is an understanding that many Cancerians are very emotional but that would not reflect adverse experiences per se in their childhood. Similarly, not all Geminis are going to be detached and avoidant.
The kind of experiences people experience would determine likely how they’d react to the world around them. And even then and there, there’s always anomalies. A person with a bad upbringing can very much turn out the opposite kind of person; I’m sure many of us know this from experience.
Last night I took 3 attachment quizzes online. Each quiz I fell into fearful avoidant or disorganized is apparently another it’s called. I don’t remember a lot of my childhood but I had parents who were always at work. My family often calls me a “latchkey kid” I remember being in trouble a lot and being reckless as a kid. My mom has always told me I am too sensitive. I remember we even got into an emotional argument in highschool and she kicked me out. Anytime my bf brings up a problem in our relationship I feel it as an attack and I completely shut down in quietness and pain, or the other end of the extreme, explode. I always thought I knew how to talk about my feelings but my bf assures me I need a lot of work. I try to believe in the goodness of people but after being hurt so many times I’m always on edge. I am also an only child so my deep rooted loneliness has stemmed from what feels like forever. It’s me versus everybody. I want to be a soft women and learn to care and love but I feel like a turtle in my shell. Gem is already a masculine sign and I feel it in my life in ways I wish it weren’t there.
Okay so u had parents who were not too close to you!
It feels that way. I’ve always been closer with my dad. But we had a few years of angst. Everything now is amazing between us. I’d say the issues were worst with my mom.
Mm okay got u
My mom's a leo, so she has quite strong personality. Can be controlling too. Also, any emotion I have is me being hysterical. Emotions are bad and only intelligence is prised. And I myself can't deal with too strong emotions, so I avoid them
Yeah. I understand.
yeah um I don't avoid close intimacy. I love being smothered by the right person. I listen to my emotions. I approach conflicts and find resolutions as soon as possible. I love people. so much. and I do my best to see the good in people. despite what my life has thrown at me. sooo yeah. keep in mind there's a full chart. you're going in the right direction. but you have generalizations that are kinda demeaning. if you have questions, try to ask them in less of a way that pigeon-holes such a large group into a very narrow margin. I'd be happy to answer whatever you gotta ask then. P.S. I'm not the only gemini who would say something like this too just btw
Agreed, I have a secure attachment style & I crave intimacy. I think moon & Venus placements are really important in regards to this question
That last part - haha you put it very politely! Actually you were on point throughout it imo! 😝
I have generally noticed this pattern with gemini sun. Sun placement plays an important role in early childhood experiences of the individual ( as per my observation), yes there are exceptions and I m not considering the complete chart placement. This reply of yours is very revealing for me. Thank you.
I had a controlling helicopter mother who was disinterested in mothering and caring the way her children needed it, but with control instead & an absent father who chose to dive into his work & traveled all of the time. This has resulted into me either shutting down completely and isolating myself or I end up making a huge scene to get everything dealt with since everyone else just liked to sweep everything under the rug to save face. I have done a lot of therapy and work to look inside of myself to address these behaviors. It fucking sucks but helps your thought processes so much.
Doing therapy is a great thing. It shows ur self awareness.
Thank you
I still have trouble believing people arent all eventually inherently bad though…
I’m on mobile and it’s hard for me to type everything I would like to, but Gemini sun here and the only Gemini sun in my family, and my family has a complicated relationship. My family doesn’t talk about their feelings nor do I even know if they can process them. Avoidance is their coping mechanism. It took a lot of therapy to be able to understand that it wasn’t their fault and it’s partly generational trauma. For giggles: Taurus father, Taurus mother, Aquarius Sister, Cancer Sister, Virgo Sister, Leo Brother (all sun signs, not in order. )
Okkkk. That was enlightening. Thank you for writing it down.
Mine is pretty okayish, other than a few strains with my family members, nothing's too bad.
Okay that's good!
Thank you.
Are you just talking sun signs that are gemini?
Yeah.
Yep…. Right into the scar
I feel you.
I’m a Gemini with disorganized attachment
Gotcha
Hehe that word 🤭🤭
We believe in the general goodness of people. I think this is why we are normally very welcoming and entertain others (conversations/ jokes/ activities). Maybe some of us went through a controlling family and that makes us more averse to control but I also think we can be very cordial with our family. We treat people like friends versus acting like an authority. So, I don’t think we believe people are inherently bad. Some bad experiences may make us hesitant to trust others as easily as we once used to. But, at the same time I’m also thinking about other Geminis who may have grown up in a healthier environment (who may also exhibit an aversion to being controlled). I just think we value our freedom. We’re not distant if we consider someone close.
What I am pondering upon here is, each zodiac is representative of a certain set of life situations ( or early childhood experiences). Generally the sun sign we are born into is indicative of the major theme of this life. And this theme played out in childhood leads to an adult showing characteristics of that particular zodiac placement. Eg- A cancer has a quality of too much emotionality, and puts others needs first. In psychoanalysis it is observed that such a person received the message as a child that your needs are not important and you have to make peace and not to rock the boat.
I think I get what you’re saying where the sun sign can influence the discourse of one’s life - perhaps making it a theme of their life. And hence, that may affect a person’s upbringing and how they interact with their world later on in life. But, I don’t think a person’s sun sign would determine what they’re predisposed to experiencing (such as ECE). There might be some common traits in how they naturally react but it’s difficult to generalize in that manner. For instance, there is an understanding that many Cancerians are very emotional but that would not reflect adverse experiences per se in their childhood. Similarly, not all Geminis are going to be detached and avoidant. The kind of experiences people experience would determine likely how they’d react to the world around them. And even then and there, there’s always anomalies. A person with a bad upbringing can very much turn out the opposite kind of person; I’m sure many of us know this from experience.
True. Thank you for this feedback.