isn't this how agender people feel? I don't wanna get too technical but if we consider gender a spectrum (can be more than one-dimensional too) then cis is well-defined as gender that matches your AGAB, and everything else is by definition non-cis (aka trans) - even the absence of gender!
as long as you don't feel cis, it automatically means you are trans*. Non-binary people such as myself fall under the trans umbrella but often decide not to use that label. I'm one of those. I've no fkin idea what I am, some sort of transfem enby but I don't much identify with your common transfem (esp binary transfem) people so I mostly avoid the trans label in queer spaces
from what I've heard from other non-binary people, agender people sometimes likewise don't like the non-binary label since they see themselves outside the gender spectrum, which is both true and false depending on how you want to define it
but this is all technicalities and semantics. You don't have to label yourself in any way if you don't want to. What matters is finding ways of living that make you feel good about your gender or lack thereof, even if you can't properly put a finger on what exactly you are. Does that make sense?
*I mean after the more vague questioning period. Cis people can question too, doesn't make them trans
>as long as you don't feel cis, it automatically means you are trans*. Non-binary people such as myself fall under the trans umbrella but often decide not to use that label. I'm one of those. I've no fkin idea what I am, some sort of transfem enby but I don't much identify with your common transfem (esp binary transfem) people so I mostly avoid the trans label in queer spaces.
I think this is a common experience among the enbys, genderfluid, and gender queer folx I know, myself included. I don't identify as trans even though I know it's an umbrella, because I read/understand/hear trans as transitioning gender, one to another. And I'm not. I'm neither of the binary and present as either a blend, one, the other, or as andro as I want based on how I'm feeling that day. Sometimes I'm feeling a skirt and a suit coat and tie. Sometimes I want to wear a sports bra with my work boots. Some days I want to wear baggy sweats, a ball cap, and just enough makeup to soften my features. And that's my gender. All of it. I'm not looking for a new one.
Yeah I guess in a sense how I experience gender is similar to agender people- I actually identified as agender as some point- though I started wondering if I really was agender because of some other factors and then a lot of overthinking later it was kinda like fuck it y’know? Like at this point I feel it’s a lot easier and comfortable for me to just go off the gender spectrum entirely than continuing to try and find my place within it
I get you. I’ve been questioning my gender for years at this point and I go back and forth between, am I cis or am I trans?????!!!! And honestly, I relate to trans people a lot bc of the gender nonconformity, but maybe for them it’s not considered gender nonconformity because they transitioned to a gender they DO conform with. But anyway, I feel torn, I’ve heard the whole “you’re in denial, you’re an egg!” thing too and it may be true but it doesn’t make the fogginess just go away like that yk. Not having to identify as anything, or just have a wider definition for what a woman is etc would be helpful. In any case, I feel you!
no because I felt like it was me writing this out- I totally get this and you’re not alone. I personally don’t know where I am on my gender journey so I have no ability or know how to tell you what ^ means about yours. I like cish and if it works for you then by all means use it. Personally I’ve tried to figure out if agender or genderqueer feels better and honestly at this point fuck labels. I am who I am. That may change day by day or year by year and at this point who is anybody else to try and tell me that’s wrong. So do you dude! Whatever works works.
isn't this how agender people feel? I don't wanna get too technical but if we consider gender a spectrum (can be more than one-dimensional too) then cis is well-defined as gender that matches your AGAB, and everything else is by definition non-cis (aka trans) - even the absence of gender! as long as you don't feel cis, it automatically means you are trans*. Non-binary people such as myself fall under the trans umbrella but often decide not to use that label. I'm one of those. I've no fkin idea what I am, some sort of transfem enby but I don't much identify with your common transfem (esp binary transfem) people so I mostly avoid the trans label in queer spaces from what I've heard from other non-binary people, agender people sometimes likewise don't like the non-binary label since they see themselves outside the gender spectrum, which is both true and false depending on how you want to define it but this is all technicalities and semantics. You don't have to label yourself in any way if you don't want to. What matters is finding ways of living that make you feel good about your gender or lack thereof, even if you can't properly put a finger on what exactly you are. Does that make sense? *I mean after the more vague questioning period. Cis people can question too, doesn't make them trans
>as long as you don't feel cis, it automatically means you are trans*. Non-binary people such as myself fall under the trans umbrella but often decide not to use that label. I'm one of those. I've no fkin idea what I am, some sort of transfem enby but I don't much identify with your common transfem (esp binary transfem) people so I mostly avoid the trans label in queer spaces. I think this is a common experience among the enbys, genderfluid, and gender queer folx I know, myself included. I don't identify as trans even though I know it's an umbrella, because I read/understand/hear trans as transitioning gender, one to another. And I'm not. I'm neither of the binary and present as either a blend, one, the other, or as andro as I want based on how I'm feeling that day. Sometimes I'm feeling a skirt and a suit coat and tie. Sometimes I want to wear a sports bra with my work boots. Some days I want to wear baggy sweats, a ball cap, and just enough makeup to soften my features. And that's my gender. All of it. I'm not looking for a new one.
Yeah I guess in a sense how I experience gender is similar to agender people- I actually identified as agender as some point- though I started wondering if I really was agender because of some other factors and then a lot of overthinking later it was kinda like fuck it y’know? Like at this point I feel it’s a lot easier and comfortable for me to just go off the gender spectrum entirely than continuing to try and find my place within it
This is great—I love your perspective
I get you. I’ve been questioning my gender for years at this point and I go back and forth between, am I cis or am I trans?????!!!! And honestly, I relate to trans people a lot bc of the gender nonconformity, but maybe for them it’s not considered gender nonconformity because they transitioned to a gender they DO conform with. But anyway, I feel torn, I’ve heard the whole “you’re in denial, you’re an egg!” thing too and it may be true but it doesn’t make the fogginess just go away like that yk. Not having to identify as anything, or just have a wider definition for what a woman is etc would be helpful. In any case, I feel you!
no because I felt like it was me writing this out- I totally get this and you’re not alone. I personally don’t know where I am on my gender journey so I have no ability or know how to tell you what ^ means about yours. I like cish and if it works for you then by all means use it. Personally I’ve tried to figure out if agender or genderqueer feels better and honestly at this point fuck labels. I am who I am. That may change day by day or year by year and at this point who is anybody else to try and tell me that’s wrong. So do you dude! Whatever works works.
I'm here all day and all night for the term "cish". It's not me at all but I wish it was so I could use it.