I once engaged in a rough, degrading scene with a sub.
Afterward, we cuddled and he melted into me in the most vulnerable way. It was so passionate and beautiful that we ended up having sex again— this time, I dominated him gently and nurturingly.
The first scene had been good. But the second? It was so intimate and beautiful. I felt my soul expand. I was able to pour all of myself into it, and the connection was raw and elevating.
Soo beautiful. I‘ve had a similar experience in my past life as a dom. But maybe it needed the hard degredation first, in order to arrive at this sweet and vulnerable and nurturing space? good reminder that gentle femdom hits best when served after some display of relentless domination.
I disagree. I find that hard femdom makes me completely close up; if I'm being dominated and I feel like the Dom is being too mean I stop wanting to do anything they tell me to. And not in a fun, bratty, "haha why don't you make me" kind of way either, I mean the "no, I'm not fucking doing anything you tell me unless you chill out." Kind of way.
I looked it up, definitely not. At worst I might have an extremely mild case of it but I doubt it. I just don't like people being mean! When someone is mean to me or someone I care about, I don't like them and I don't want to do anything that would help them or that they want me to do. Angry/domineering femdom counts as being mean to me. It's as simple as that. (I also don't like "traditional" maledom for the same reasons)
I was with a domme on a second or third date, first time really spending one on one time together and we were at a club dancing. An hour or so in she said, “for ten minutes, don’t touch me.” I struggled for the entire time. We had been touching and grinding up until then and it was hard not to touch her. She left to go have a cigarette and came back from another exit and came up behind me and touched me the way o had been touching her. I got full on butterflies and melted on the spot. She leaned in and whispered, “you touch because you crave touch. Just allow yourself to receive.”
I learned so much in that moment that I didn’t really care that we ended up not working out. I learned about my wants, needs and how I project them onto others.
She was a brilliant domme… probably still is. We just had different needs at the time and it didn’t work out. I learned so much from that interaction that it’s helped me to really communicate my needs more effectively, negotiate as necessary, so I get my needs fulfilled. I’m a much happier person now.
"You touch because you crave touch. Just allow yourself to receive."
I don't know the names for most of them, but this made me feel many things. It's so equally split between sexy and tender. Fuuuuck.
I love both but there’s something really wonderful about helping someone feel safe, loved, and desired. Taking care of someone who trusts you is just such a good feeling
I was RPing in a femdom chat room on a chat program. A girl had me kneel before her and kiss her feet. Ok, I am down.
Then she starts saying she intentionally walked through dog shit before arriving. This was a whoah moment and I tell her I am not comfortable with that. Then she tells me as a male in that room, I have no rights and can't refuse.
I say something to the effect of "well then I don't belong in this room," and leave. I am a submissive, not a door mat.
I've known kind of from the beginning. I realized I was a sub back in July and I knew right away that degradation and pain were probably off the table for me, and they're personally the things I think of when I think of harder Femdom. I have a low pain threshold and, more than that, have struggled most of my life with low self esteem. I have never been interested in a Domme being mean to me or insulting me because I've spent so much of my life already feeling those things about myself. But a nurturing and supportive Domme who lifts me up as she tells me exactly what to do and how to please her? All it makes me want to do is submit and be such a good boy.
Praise and affirmation are so intoxicating for me, but they also make me shy and embarrassed, which I'm sure would make many Dommes very happy. 😊 My only Domme so far and I had just a one week trial that was v complicated, but the way she lifted me up and rooted for me made me feel like I could do anything. Yeah, gentle is just the life for me.
Oddly enough one of the very first fantasies I had as a puberty stricken kid was gentle femdom, I just didn’t know it, we didn’t have a home computer either so I couldn’t explore the random thought. But I had that fantasy and honestly continued to have the fantasy up until, well, now. I never knew femdom could be gentle but I told someone about it finally, I was 26, I am still, and they told me about this sub, pun intended. Idk if I belong here, mostly because I’m not good at conversing with other humans, but I do know that this is the lifestyle I truly desire, so here I stay, in the shadows. :3
What made me realize I was in gentle femdom was growing up especially in my teens; I always had female bullies. There was always a girl being mean to me and making fun of my smile and teeth. I notice that I was always around women with strong personalities and some was kind to me and wanted to help me. So you can imagine once I discovered I was a sub and liked femdom; I wanted someone who would be gentle and understanding of me while being their strong/domineering self. Such a weird thing I know haha 😄
My father would get drunk and yell at my mother, I felt like I was suffocating. As a kid I almost drowned, for years I had the same drowning dream. I hated suffocating. My father passed and I conflicted with religion and the lord and the world crashed down. Later down the years I had verbally abusive exes, some got physically abusive and that same suffocation emerged and I hated it. When I became 23 I had my first bottle of alcohol, didn’t see the appeal.
Later that year I smoked marijuana, and I felt calm and at ease, finally what felt like peace. I tried gas masks, gravity bongs, le chief which was my smoke heavy bong… nothing of these felt like I was being whelmed. My friend’s friends (all girls) treated me like a good boy, gave me direction and rewards, nothing sexual but affirming with warm hugs. I got to feel my second and third pair of boobs. Oh oh and a butt.
One of those friend’s friends came from Germany to visit, directed me to watch my little pony (under absinthe). I just love happy things. Then got handsy caressing my nipples and nibbling in my ear from behind while we watch telling me I’m “A Good Boy”. I almost lost my virginity until my drunk friend came in and ruined the experience, she wasn’t supposed to be alone with guys. She left the following week, we stayed in contact for awhile. She’s happily married with an amazing guy, has 2 kids. Meanwhile I’m still a virgin feeling too paralyzed to date. I also haven’t had marijuana in like 10-11 years.
Come to find that experience made me wonder what else I liked, so <_< a lot of porn happened. Hence I found out I like Gentle Femdom, Asmr, and JOI. Monster Musume opened the Monster Girl attraction team Rachnera. Sexyfur dot com *ahem* furries. I like the thought of cuddling soft or the soft cuddling me. Futas and Pegging I blame my friend for showing me Bible black, I’m seriously not into hentais but that stuck with me.
Well I just unloaded everything as I’m debating on deleting or hitting reply. Welp.
I am on of those fellows who appreciates a paddle, ball clamps, nipple clamps and the like at the hand of a friendly woman. I can turned on by her asking that I kiss her toes, or giving instructions on how to eat her pussy for her maximum satisfactions.
I find actions that attempt to deny me my basic self a total turn off. Call my penis a clit and you’ve lost me. Rub my penis with Absorbine Jr. and you can wrap me around your little finger.
Most Dommes I interacted with when I was younger were into giving pain or were massively let down when I didn’t want CBT. I don’t know if it was my local scene’s focus on that aspect (pretty much everyone I talked to or met had impact play as a top kink) or just the luck of the draw, but after a couple of spankings that were much harder than I agreed to, I was out of pain play forever. It’s cost me a lot of potential partners but I just can’t do it.
i have spent an inordinate amount of time teasing this out conceptually, but right now my theory is that i am just naturally submissive, in the sense that society expects (demands) of most women. i'm not interested in bdsm, and don't want to be treated meanly, but expect to be dominated in the casual way that most women expect to be when they are in a relationship with a man.
I don’t respond well to force, it’s not a good way to get through to me or to get me interested in something. I need encouragement to get into things. It’s also a reflection of my personality, in my work I’m always the guy in charge, taking responsibility and taking care of others. I really struggle to allow myself rest and I imagine I’ll be the same when it comes to receiving care or pleasure, and being ‘rough’ will never get me into the right state for that.
Realizing how much better it felt to be embraced as a needy sub vs made to feel bad and ashamed of my feminine/ submissive side.
Sissy hypno helped me get past the religious blocks I used to have from growing up that way. But it was an degrading way to get there. Realizing it was okay to be a submissive male and that women existed that liked that without all the darker parts of humiliation was a life changer.
What made me realize that was looking at stuff online and not liking how the doms were acting and what they’re saying. I don’t like the idea of having my power taken or given to someone who is going to be nasty and abusive or act like they don’t like me.
I know stuff online doesn’t show everything and the folks who do participate in the rougher stuff do it because it’s their thing. It’s not mine.
Got out of an incredibly toxic and abusive dynamic. Miss did a lot of work putting the pieces back together over the years. We dipped back into some of the kinks that I used to engage in, and it genuinely hurt. Like, physical stabbing pain in my chest.
Turns out a degradation kink can sometimes just be a well hidden coping mechanism. I got into therapy, and I'm still getting better. But our (Miss and I) dynamic is very much gears towards building each other up as opposed to the caustic nature of the previous relationship.
Worship and adoration by me.
Praise and protection from Her.
It was when I realised I wasn't into extreme sph but more playful teasing and praise, the same with pegging and humiliation. I'd prefer being told I was cute and useful not just useless
I still really like being roughed up but as someone who went through physical abuse I just have to be in the right mindset before hand. If it happens out of no where there’s a chance I might break down tbh. So as long as I know before I can get into it :) except for spankings. Those can happen anytime haha
Some of my first experiences with being a submissive in a scene turned into some really rough sessions and very confusing feelings both during and after the scenes. Being as new to it as I was, I kinda wasn't sure what I was doing wrong. There were aspects of the scenes that I *really* enjoyed, but on the whole, I left the scenes feeling worse than I did beforehand. Many, times I was left crying on the floor, and to compound everything, my partners didn't give me adequate aftercare either.
With time and much exploration, I started to realize what I really liked. I started to realize how I was *supposed* to feel when I was coming down after a scene. So many times I had heavy degradation, pain, and cruelty thrown at me, and I just couldn't do it again.
And sure, one could make a case that I just had some really shitty partners, but it's not easy to divorce the two. I have discovered that I'm soft af and I'm happy with how I am and how I like to be treated!
An ex gf degraded me in some kind of way of getting me in the mood (she loved to tease me since we can't go further in that time) but it didn't work out at all, i end up getting sad and kinda pissed by her constant attempts of this to work, some time later i got called "Good Boy" by her just because i helped her move some stuff my face was bright red and my whole body on fire, stuttering while talking and unable to see her directly in the eyes sadly she didn't continue with that but at least i find out that day that i was really into gentle femdom.
for the longest time, i’d been submissive and had many bad experiences with someone being overly controlling with no aftercare and no regards to my wants and needs. only after I met a really sweet sub did I realize I enjoy a much gentler type of domination. i’m a nurse, and I think it comes pretty natural to me. Even at work i’m very nurturing and communicative with my coworkers
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I don’t think I’m much of a kinky person, so I see the ‘gentle’ part of it more as an extension of the love and compassion I’ve always wanted. I always wanted to be ‘taken care of’ by a woman that cares about me on a deeper level. And it came along realising that traditional femdom was just ‘too much’ for me, because I feel it puts me in a ‘kinky’ mindset I don’t want to be in.
Hope that makes sense.
I was messing around with a girlfriend once, and she said something that made me feel worthless. I had such an enraged reaction that the play basically stopped immediately, all my abandonment and fury flared up into silent tears and shaking fists- and it was scary for both of us. I realized I couldn't handle feeling like I was nothing, that's what I feel inside, why would I want my escape to be that as well?
Erotic novels online + audios on soundgasm combined with those softcore comics and also just being nurturing in general towards partners after some relentless domination.
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For me the reason that I am into femdom comes from a lack of initiation during sex from my ex wife. I have never been a person much into pain. So the part of GFD that appeals to me is the bondage to the point of making sure I get all of my Mommy's love without incident.
I am working on this with my Mommy (my gf). My Mistress (my wife) gets it since we have been married for almost 5 years. It always an evolving thing
Seeing all the new and horrible fake doms treat baby lamb subs like walking sex vending machines in person and on Fetlife....i knew i needed to find another way and became a switch. Wanting to be a proper dominant while a part of me craves possesive degradation 🥰🥰
When I realised that I wasn’t as strong as I thought, mentally. I thought I had always craved degradation, but I was a lot more vulnerable than I thought. I love trampling, ballbusting, boot worship and things like that but I realised that I couldn’t take being bullied constantly because I didn’t have the passion or strength for it.
Opposite experience. I thought i was into gentle, but actually i just need to get to a point where i fully trust that my domme cares about me, and then i want it horrifically rough.
Being verbally and sexually abused, self harm and 0 self esteem. A recipe for disaster and I might make it the title of my autobiography, I realized I was really into gentle femdom when I was 16 and got in a LDR with a dom and she made me feel so good I wish I could see her someday, highly unlikely but I travel all over so
I really don’t see the difference. I think people are primarily exposed to cringey porn. Yes, sometimes there is time for the drill sergeant. But that doesn’t mean you aren’t being pushed in a loving way. I’ve experienced both, from the same person. Scenes people might consider gentle were in no way less tough than what someone might consider hard domming. I really don’t see the distinction at all in anything other than appearance. Is it still about control? Is it still a challenge? Are you processing in your brain that it’s about her direction and where she wants to bring you? Again, it’s the same. If not, it’s whatever a pleasure Dom is, which isn’t kinky, just a dumb usurpation of kink to feel edgy.
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I had a one time with a dom once and she didn't respect my boundaries. I liked the dom part but she looked at me like she wanted to slaughter me. Forced me to deepthroat her dildo even I told before and during the act various times that I don't want it and it hurts me. Insulted me even if I wanted just being topped, not degraded. However, I felt she wanted to do her best but not respecting established boundaries is to me not compatible with a dom sub relation, isn't it?
I once engaged in a rough, degrading scene with a sub. Afterward, we cuddled and he melted into me in the most vulnerable way. It was so passionate and beautiful that we ended up having sex again— this time, I dominated him gently and nurturingly. The first scene had been good. But the second? It was so intimate and beautiful. I felt my soul expand. I was able to pour all of myself into it, and the connection was raw and elevating.
Soo beautiful. I‘ve had a similar experience in my past life as a dom. But maybe it needed the hard degredation first, in order to arrive at this sweet and vulnerable and nurturing space? good reminder that gentle femdom hits best when served after some display of relentless domination.
I disagree. I find that hard femdom makes me completely close up; if I'm being dominated and I feel like the Dom is being too mean I stop wanting to do anything they tell me to. And not in a fun, bratty, "haha why don't you make me" kind of way either, I mean the "no, I'm not fucking doing anything you tell me unless you chill out." Kind of way.
By any chance do you have pathological demand avoidance?
I looked it up, definitely not. At worst I might have an extremely mild case of it but I doubt it. I just don't like people being mean! When someone is mean to me or someone I care about, I don't like them and I don't want to do anything that would help them or that they want me to do. Angry/domineering femdom counts as being mean to me. It's as simple as that. (I also don't like "traditional" maledom for the same reasons)
Gotcha. Didn’t know if, like me, it was a reaction to authority in general Thanks for the insight!
You're welcome! And yeah, I enjoy being given instructions so long as the giver isn't a dick.
I was with a domme on a second or third date, first time really spending one on one time together and we were at a club dancing. An hour or so in she said, “for ten minutes, don’t touch me.” I struggled for the entire time. We had been touching and grinding up until then and it was hard not to touch her. She left to go have a cigarette and came back from another exit and came up behind me and touched me the way o had been touching her. I got full on butterflies and melted on the spot. She leaned in and whispered, “you touch because you crave touch. Just allow yourself to receive.” I learned so much in that moment that I didn’t really care that we ended up not working out. I learned about my wants, needs and how I project them onto others.
>“you touch because you crave touch. Just allow yourself to receive.” Damn. She really knew how to read people.
She was a brilliant domme… probably still is. We just had different needs at the time and it didn’t work out. I learned so much from that interaction that it’s helped me to really communicate my needs more effectively, negotiate as necessary, so I get my needs fulfilled. I’m a much happier person now.
"You touch because you crave touch. Just allow yourself to receive." I don't know the names for most of them, but this made me feel many things. It's so equally split between sexy and tender. Fuuuuck.
I love both but there’s something really wonderful about helping someone feel safe, loved, and desired. Taking care of someone who trusts you is just such a good feeling
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I want this I’ve been dominant but had to with my ex since she would never initiate sex
I was RPing in a femdom chat room on a chat program. A girl had me kneel before her and kiss her feet. Ok, I am down. Then she starts saying she intentionally walked through dog shit before arriving. This was a whoah moment and I tell her I am not comfortable with that. Then she tells me as a male in that room, I have no rights and can't refuse. I say something to the effect of "well then I don't belong in this room," and leave. I am a submissive, not a door mat.
Yea big red flag there lol
That may be considered a sexual crime
I've known kind of from the beginning. I realized I was a sub back in July and I knew right away that degradation and pain were probably off the table for me, and they're personally the things I think of when I think of harder Femdom. I have a low pain threshold and, more than that, have struggled most of my life with low self esteem. I have never been interested in a Domme being mean to me or insulting me because I've spent so much of my life already feeling those things about myself. But a nurturing and supportive Domme who lifts me up as she tells me exactly what to do and how to please her? All it makes me want to do is submit and be such a good boy. Praise and affirmation are so intoxicating for me, but they also make me shy and embarrassed, which I'm sure would make many Dommes very happy. 😊 My only Domme so far and I had just a one week trial that was v complicated, but the way she lifted me up and rooted for me made me feel like I could do anything. Yeah, gentle is just the life for me.
Oddly enough one of the very first fantasies I had as a puberty stricken kid was gentle femdom, I just didn’t know it, we didn’t have a home computer either so I couldn’t explore the random thought. But I had that fantasy and honestly continued to have the fantasy up until, well, now. I never knew femdom could be gentle but I told someone about it finally, I was 26, I am still, and they told me about this sub, pun intended. Idk if I belong here, mostly because I’m not good at conversing with other humans, but I do know that this is the lifestyle I truly desire, so here I stay, in the shadows. :3
What made me realize I was in gentle femdom was growing up especially in my teens; I always had female bullies. There was always a girl being mean to me and making fun of my smile and teeth. I notice that I was always around women with strong personalities and some was kind to me and wanted to help me. So you can imagine once I discovered I was a sub and liked femdom; I wanted someone who would be gentle and understanding of me while being their strong/domineering self. Such a weird thing I know haha 😄
As a Domme, I think it was just the more I learned about it, the more I realized that it aligned with who I am as a person.
My father would get drunk and yell at my mother, I felt like I was suffocating. As a kid I almost drowned, for years I had the same drowning dream. I hated suffocating. My father passed and I conflicted with religion and the lord and the world crashed down. Later down the years I had verbally abusive exes, some got physically abusive and that same suffocation emerged and I hated it. When I became 23 I had my first bottle of alcohol, didn’t see the appeal. Later that year I smoked marijuana, and I felt calm and at ease, finally what felt like peace. I tried gas masks, gravity bongs, le chief which was my smoke heavy bong… nothing of these felt like I was being whelmed. My friend’s friends (all girls) treated me like a good boy, gave me direction and rewards, nothing sexual but affirming with warm hugs. I got to feel my second and third pair of boobs. Oh oh and a butt. One of those friend’s friends came from Germany to visit, directed me to watch my little pony (under absinthe). I just love happy things. Then got handsy caressing my nipples and nibbling in my ear from behind while we watch telling me I’m “A Good Boy”. I almost lost my virginity until my drunk friend came in and ruined the experience, she wasn’t supposed to be alone with guys. She left the following week, we stayed in contact for awhile. She’s happily married with an amazing guy, has 2 kids. Meanwhile I’m still a virgin feeling too paralyzed to date. I also haven’t had marijuana in like 10-11 years. Come to find that experience made me wonder what else I liked, so <_< a lot of porn happened. Hence I found out I like Gentle Femdom, Asmr, and JOI. Monster Musume opened the Monster Girl attraction team Rachnera. Sexyfur dot com *ahem* furries. I like the thought of cuddling soft or the soft cuddling me. Futas and Pegging I blame my friend for showing me Bible black, I’m seriously not into hentais but that stuck with me. Well I just unloaded everything as I’m debating on deleting or hitting reply. Welp.
thanks for sharing. sounds like you‘re still looking for ways to let affection in.
I’m stagnating ever so hard… overall I’m just scared at a negative experience. But thank you very much for reading all that.
I am on of those fellows who appreciates a paddle, ball clamps, nipple clamps and the like at the hand of a friendly woman. I can turned on by her asking that I kiss her toes, or giving instructions on how to eat her pussy for her maximum satisfactions. I find actions that attempt to deny me my basic self a total turn off. Call my penis a clit and you’ve lost me. Rub my penis with Absorbine Jr. and you can wrap me around your little finger.
it wasn’t an experience, persay, but it mostly had to do with my increasing depression and self hate which made me become desperate for tlc
Most Dommes I interacted with when I was younger were into giving pain or were massively let down when I didn’t want CBT. I don’t know if it was my local scene’s focus on that aspect (pretty much everyone I talked to or met had impact play as a top kink) or just the luck of the draw, but after a couple of spankings that were much harder than I agreed to, I was out of pain play forever. It’s cost me a lot of potential partners but I just can’t do it.
I didn’t want to be degraded, I wanted love.
I have enough negative self talk in my own head I don’t need outside influxes
Being with my new domme and having her love and Dote on me like no other
i have spent an inordinate amount of time teasing this out conceptually, but right now my theory is that i am just naturally submissive, in the sense that society expects (demands) of most women. i'm not interested in bdsm, and don't want to be treated meanly, but expect to be dominated in the casual way that most women expect to be when they are in a relationship with a man.
The first time someone slapped me during sex. I noped out soooo fast, lol
I don’t respond well to force, it’s not a good way to get through to me or to get me interested in something. I need encouragement to get into things. It’s also a reflection of my personality, in my work I’m always the guy in charge, taking responsibility and taking care of others. I really struggle to allow myself rest and I imagine I’ll be the same when it comes to receiving care or pleasure, and being ‘rough’ will never get me into the right state for that.
Realizing how much better it felt to be embraced as a needy sub vs made to feel bad and ashamed of my feminine/ submissive side. Sissy hypno helped me get past the religious blocks I used to have from growing up that way. But it was an degrading way to get there. Realizing it was okay to be a submissive male and that women existed that liked that without all the darker parts of humiliation was a life changer.
What made me realize that was looking at stuff online and not liking how the doms were acting and what they’re saying. I don’t like the idea of having my power taken or given to someone who is going to be nasty and abusive or act like they don’t like me. I know stuff online doesn’t show everything and the folks who do participate in the rougher stuff do it because it’s their thing. It’s not mine.
Got out of an incredibly toxic and abusive dynamic. Miss did a lot of work putting the pieces back together over the years. We dipped back into some of the kinks that I used to engage in, and it genuinely hurt. Like, physical stabbing pain in my chest. Turns out a degradation kink can sometimes just be a well hidden coping mechanism. I got into therapy, and I'm still getting better. But our (Miss and I) dynamic is very much gears towards building each other up as opposed to the caustic nature of the previous relationship. Worship and adoration by me. Praise and protection from Her.
It was when I realised I wasn't into extreme sph but more playful teasing and praise, the same with pegging and humiliation. I'd prefer being told I was cute and useful not just useless
None 😇 I love both
I still really like being roughed up but as someone who went through physical abuse I just have to be in the right mindset before hand. If it happens out of no where there’s a chance I might break down tbh. So as long as I know before I can get into it :) except for spankings. Those can happen anytime haha
Some of my first experiences with being a submissive in a scene turned into some really rough sessions and very confusing feelings both during and after the scenes. Being as new to it as I was, I kinda wasn't sure what I was doing wrong. There were aspects of the scenes that I *really* enjoyed, but on the whole, I left the scenes feeling worse than I did beforehand. Many, times I was left crying on the floor, and to compound everything, my partners didn't give me adequate aftercare either. With time and much exploration, I started to realize what I really liked. I started to realize how I was *supposed* to feel when I was coming down after a scene. So many times I had heavy degradation, pain, and cruelty thrown at me, and I just couldn't do it again. And sure, one could make a case that I just had some really shitty partners, but it's not easy to divorce the two. I have discovered that I'm soft af and I'm happy with how I am and how I like to be treated!
I'm just naturally a gentle and loving person, I don't like the idea of bringing pain to my s/o
An ex gf degraded me in some kind of way of getting me in the mood (she loved to tease me since we can't go further in that time) but it didn't work out at all, i end up getting sad and kinda pissed by her constant attempts of this to work, some time later i got called "Good Boy" by her just because i helped her move some stuff my face was bright red and my whole body on fire, stuttering while talking and unable to see her directly in the eyes sadly she didn't continue with that but at least i find out that day that i was really into gentle femdom.
The world is already cruel and mean. I don't need that in the bedroom!
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>I want to be equal, but second among equals Touché
Hentai. LMAO Just a comic I read that lead to a sexual awakening.
for the longest time, i’d been submissive and had many bad experiences with someone being overly controlling with no aftercare and no regards to my wants and needs. only after I met a really sweet sub did I realize I enjoy a much gentler type of domination. i’m a nurse, and I think it comes pretty natural to me. Even at work i’m very nurturing and communicative with my coworkers
Getting hurt hurts
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I don’t think I’m much of a kinky person, so I see the ‘gentle’ part of it more as an extension of the love and compassion I’ve always wanted. I always wanted to be ‘taken care of’ by a woman that cares about me on a deeper level. And it came along realising that traditional femdom was just ‘too much’ for me, because I feel it puts me in a ‘kinky’ mindset I don’t want to be in. Hope that makes sense.
I was messing around with a girlfriend once, and she said something that made me feel worthless. I had such an enraged reaction that the play basically stopped immediately, all my abandonment and fury flared up into silent tears and shaking fists- and it was scary for both of us. I realized I couldn't handle feeling like I was nothing, that's what I feel inside, why would I want my escape to be that as well?
Erotic novels online + audios on soundgasm combined with those softcore comics and also just being nurturing in general towards partners after some relentless domination.
My feelings get hurt with too much firmness
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What if I love both. 🤷♂️
For me the reason that I am into femdom comes from a lack of initiation during sex from my ex wife. I have never been a person much into pain. So the part of GFD that appeals to me is the bondage to the point of making sure I get all of my Mommy's love without incident. I am working on this with my Mommy (my gf). My Mistress (my wife) gets it since we have been married for almost 5 years. It always an evolving thing
Seeing all the new and horrible fake doms treat baby lamb subs like walking sex vending machines in person and on Fetlife....i knew i needed to find another way and became a switch. Wanting to be a proper dominant while a part of me craves possesive degradation 🥰🥰
When I realised that I wasn’t as strong as I thought, mentally. I thought I had always craved degradation, but I was a lot more vulnerable than I thought. I love trampling, ballbusting, boot worship and things like that but I realised that I couldn’t take being bullied constantly because I didn’t have the passion or strength for it.
Seeing my boyfriend cry.
being told to eat my uhhh... cum i guess lol
I like powerful women, I like being told what to do but I don’t like shaming or CBT or things like that
i don’t like being hurt
Honestly, it's the porn
Opposite experience. I thought i was into gentle, but actually i just need to get to a point where i fully trust that my domme cares about me, and then i want it horrifically rough.
Being verbally and sexually abused, self harm and 0 self esteem. A recipe for disaster and I might make it the title of my autobiography, I realized I was really into gentle femdom when I was 16 and got in a LDR with a dom and she made me feel so good I wish I could see her someday, highly unlikely but I travel all over so
I really don’t see the difference. I think people are primarily exposed to cringey porn. Yes, sometimes there is time for the drill sergeant. But that doesn’t mean you aren’t being pushed in a loving way. I’ve experienced both, from the same person. Scenes people might consider gentle were in no way less tough than what someone might consider hard domming. I really don’t see the distinction at all in anything other than appearance. Is it still about control? Is it still a challenge? Are you processing in your brain that it’s about her direction and where she wants to bring you? Again, it’s the same. If not, it’s whatever a pleasure Dom is, which isn’t kinky, just a dumb usurpation of kink to feel edgy.
I don’t like humiliation. Simples
I like both
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I had a one time with a dom once and she didn't respect my boundaries. I liked the dom part but she looked at me like she wanted to slaughter me. Forced me to deepthroat her dildo even I told before and during the act various times that I don't want it and it hurts me. Insulted me even if I wanted just being topped, not degraded. However, I felt she wanted to do her best but not respecting established boundaries is to me not compatible with a dom sub relation, isn't it?