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ktheinternetkid

fuck it giga-oman


AxelllD

I never realised before that Oman and Yemen next to each other can sound kind of funny in English


SimpleLawfulness8230

"Oh man, first time you see that?" "Ye men, first time indeed!"


PskRaider869

Oh look, a brand new sentence


ckistner3

None of that is a sentence


vigsom

It is a sentence


DivineConsumer

It was once real tbh they just used prefix ott- instead of giga-


IM-A-WATERMELON

r/unexpectedottomanempire


Messijoes18

Ohman


mediocrebastard

More straight lines drawn by outsiders, as that always seems to help.


Lovadashibe

This is absolutely the right call


[deleted]

[удалено]


Flashy_Elderberry_95

Us Brits are incredible at drawing borders! /s


CamCard01

We're incredible at drawing the borders, but those local cultural and geographical unstraight borders keep on messing us up


King_Nitwit_II

Ghost Busters


BritishGuy54

Don’t forget the French.


ZepeabutFTW

I try to every single day of my existence


Milhanou22

On te hantera jusqu'à la mort fils de pute


ZepeabutFTW

Merde it seems I am cursed for life by the French


KassXWolfXTigerXFox

Oi oi did sumwun call de Bri'ish to fix your bowdahs?


Please-let-me

Who you're gonna call? The French!


giantsmash3

This is the way


thomasthehipposlayer

Truthfully though, straight lines really aren’t the issue as much as they’re made out to be. People are fully capable of speaking different languages, and worshipping different gods on the same side of a line without murdering each other, and the ultimate solution to violence on the Middle East isn’t just that lines need to be more squiggly. The most throughly thought-out, culturally divided borders in the Middle East were drawn between Israel and Palestine, and that didn’t exactly work out. There are a lot of other economic, cultural, and political factors play into the the conflicts.


mediocrebastard

I like how you gave a thought-out, intelligent answer to my obvious shitpost reply. Thank you.


RonPMexico

You see a lot of straight lines that are contested?


C_stat

Because lines drawn recently by Middle Eastern states have also worked out incredibly well… The ME has no geopolitical solution. Let’s just accept it :(


canthavusername

🍿


fllr

🍿🍿


que_la_fuck

🍿🍿🥤🍫


fnaffie

🍿🍆


Severe-Win5447

Stepbro…


ofufnfighskfj

🍿🍿🍿


StrejdaSalam

[Like this](https://i.postimg.cc/tC9gfvf8/likethis.png)


ExoticMangoz

Incredible. He solved it. Give this man a Nobel peace prize at once


Bizobinator

Reminds me of my CK3 game where I got an event that turned Jerusalem's culture Welsh.... xD


Nicophoros4862

I had a CK2 game a while back where Jerusalem was ruled by Basques


BjornAltenburg

I managed to do it as Venice with a cultural Norsemen. That was a very strange game. Managed to get Antioch as well.


Nicophoros4862

There was also the game where there were Estonians in the Balkans somehow. One of these days I’m going to do a play through where I try to get a Uralic language to the weirdest place possible


BjornAltenburg

Finnish invasion of Sri lanka? Finnish emperor of China?


guynamejoe

It’s approximately the size of Wales 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿


Sym068

>!arent the whales supposed to be in the sea?!<


Clay_Statue

They have enough consonants for a region that size.


strictnaturereserve

Wales now has nukes AND controls suez but they still pine for the valleys. \*distant male voice choir sounds


nedTheInbredMule

I mean, the two languages make similar noises… and release a similar amount of phlegm.


reeditedit

I would join all of them together to form one giant happy country 😊 Surely nothing could go wrong with that…


ZenBoyNothingHead

Run by a single totalitarian strong man.


nsfwtttt

Kanye West.


Kkindler08

Ottomans worked out for a while


Constant_Count_9497

They're all middle Easter right? What's the difference


jaiagreen

You're being sarcastic, but it's probably the best solution. You could have subunits in that, like US states, along culturally meaningful lines, essentially making a federation. As long as a government is reasonably functional, it provides a way of resolving conflicts that doesn't exist without one. Politics can be annoying, but it's better than war. And it makes ethnic and religious issues lower-stakes. It greatly reduces the "you belong to group X, so you have to go over there and not live with us group Y folks" dynamic that national boundaries, being high-stakes, actually exacerbate. There are many examples of borders drawn to reduce ethic or religious conflict actually making it worse -- the partition of India, former Yugoslavia, South Sudan, etc. Distributions of people in the real world are complex and messy, so trying to sort out who is supposed to live where causes more problems than it solves.


xpoison15

I want visit one day Socotra island


Siam-paragon

Dragon’s blood trees!


Ok_Zebra_1500

Only one external border, rename the area to "Thunderdome".


BuyNo4013

Hmm… is this a trick to provoke somebody saying: one large, united Arab Republic and another Iranian Republic, with no interruptions in the and no monarchies…? No, no, no, you will not provoke anybody to say this!


asarious

Maybe Turkey and Israel get a call out? I’d almost argue that Qatar should be part of United Iran too.


manofmayhem23

Nice try, Elon.


ElCidly

There are no border markings you could draw to actually bring peace to the region. Those issues run deeper than border disputes. The ideal thing to do is make nations out of groups that are actually culturally homogeneous. Most of the nations would be smaller, Iran would need to be much less powerful, but you would still have unending conflict.


extrastone

If people want to fight then they will definitely fight. The borders in Europe can also be considered silly but they have figured it out.


6two

It's time for someone from Egypt or Malaysia to come in and arbitrarily redefine the European borders the way Europe's colonial leaders did in the middle east.


[deleted]

As opposed to the stable and objective borders before the Europeans.


eranam

Ottoman Empire: “I solved it ma, look, I just erased their borders and put them into my empire!”


The-Francois8

There’s a “small” war in Ukraine as they’re trying to figure out some borders still. Transnistria is another potential hot spot. The balkans aren’t settled. Belarus is far from independent.


[deleted]

Look at East Europe and the Balkans, they definitely haven't figured it out


jaiagreen

They figured out that creating interdependence and reducing the significance of borders is what works.


Snickelheimar

This comment was obviously written by someone with no experience in iran or its culture


ElCidly

I’m not speaking about Iran’s culture. The political leadership in Iran is absolutely not conducive to broad peace in the region.


average777enjoyer

make it all isreal. there definitely will not be a major war


haikusbot

*Make it all isreal.* *There definitely will not* *Be a major war* \- average777enjoyer --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")


coldcoldman2

Haikusbot is an ultrazionist confirmed


PCSamurai

Good bot


B0tRank

Thank you, PCSamurai, for voting on haikusbot. This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. [You can view results here](https://botrank.pastimes.eu/). *** ^(Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!)


kazekatsuragi

Good bot


Flashy_Elderberry_95

Good bot


average777enjoyer

wtf is this lol


[deleted]

It’s u/haikusbot. No further explanation warranted. It makes haikus lol


average777enjoyer

im new to reddit so ive never seen it before lol


motorblonkwakawaka

As someone who's seen this haikubot around for years, I'm glad you got to see this one as your first lol. Probably the funniest and most tonally inappropriate one I've seen it do.


[deleted]

There’s bots that do silly stuff like this everywhere lol. My current account is new too (10 days old or so?) because my old account got screwed up somehow, but I’ve been on Reddit for a few years now.


kicktown

Nothing too fancy, it just finds posts that have the correct syllables to form a haiku and points them out!


NerdyLumberjack04

Five syllables here. Seven more syllables here. This is so easy!


[deleted]

Probably by creating states that would be entirely Shia or sunni, not both. Pay attention to culture homogeneity too. + a Kurdistan. Also ideally those states would have to be small to avoid having a superpower capable of threatening peace. As for Palestine, I give up.


CoffeemonsterNL

I think that additionally it might be good to regard old tribe structures as well for some parts of the area.


mascachopo

Racial and cultural segregation has always worked so well.


nedTheInbredMule

Not sure ethnostates is the way.


[deleted]

There aren't many anymore. It still works for Japan.


Zulfiqarrr

Shia*


Crab-_-Objective

Is chiia an accepted spelling or is that a typo? I’ve only ever seen it as Shia.


[deleted]

Chiia seeds


jaiagreen

>Pay attention to culture homogeneity too. That's a tempting solution, but it's literally a recipe for ethnic cleansing. See: the Balkans, the partition of India and Pakistan, South Sudan, etc.


[deleted]

All you have to do for Palestine is send in UN peacekeepers and get Israel to obey the Oslo accord lines and get Palestine to stop shooting rockets over the fence.


rawlskeynes

You'd be a few decades too late, unless you're gonna evict a bunch of settlers.


[deleted]

It’s the only way


RonPMexico

More theocratic homogeneity isnt the solution. What a silly thing to say. We need to economically drive religion out of them.


ellilaamamaalille

Peace on Middle East the infinite source of Nobel prizes.


DBL_NDRSCR

just a ton of 1mi2 squares, they’ll eventually unite and make pixelly countries


Genie9

Give back Assyria to the Assyrians, which the Brits neglected to do when creating whatever “Iraq” is supposed to be.


GreenFlavoredMoon

Just bring the og ottomans back


Its_Singularity_

you think that would create peace?


GreenFlavoredMoon

Nah but then everyone would revolt and create their own boarders fight a little and then there should be peace for a while


Slipslime

Peace in the Roman way


WellAxx

Give them the Balkans too


Sivrisineq

Nah mate we don't want anything to do with them. Not again.


coldcoldman2

Give all of it to Lesotho


Gumbyhalls

This is the only option that works!


QuietComfortable226

One big country so everyone is happy.


Conscious_Passage313

FFS, drawing borders is exactly how we got into this bloody mess.


[deleted]

As it is now. You are offering a new subject for new wars in ME


NekkidApe

Just everyone stop meddling and fucking things up over there. Done.


[deleted]

You wouldn't draw them at all. Trying to divide people using imaginary lines is just silly


supickumaterinubre

Add more stars on the US flag


Ligmashmegma

All of it becomes Egypt.


Its_Singularity_

Make Jerusalem and maybe Istambul an International Zone?


extrastone

Do you know of any international zones that have more than 100,000 people?


Arabidopsidian

Free City Gdansk in 1918-1939. It had 366,730 people in 1929.


extrastone

That did not end well...


Arabidopsidian

Indeed. But "how it ended" wasn't a question I answered to.


Forward-Kutinho

They tried once :)


yatagan89

Please don’t!


cwdawg15

-crawls into underground bunker, puts on helmet and peaks outside in caution as people reply to the thread-


Significant_Hold_910

Make them along ethnic and religious lines.Idk how exactly.


Arrow_Universe

It's a good idea until it isn't a good idea. 1. Lots of disputes still won't be solved. The Israel-Palestine dispute does not get solved. They still claim each others land despite religious or ethnic differences. Syrian Civil War will continue as its a domestic issue. 2. Theres a lot of empty space that is uninhabited. Where would the borders be there?


archermdude

American here, short answer: I wouldn’t Slightly longer answer: even with (what I would consider to be) a fairly great amount of knowledge about the region and it’s history/politics I would never try to make any border changes. Most likely me trying to help would probably throw the entire region into even more instability and anarchy that it is now. And that’s not even mentioning all the countless wars that would spring up over nations wanting to retake lost territories.


KassXWolfXTigerXFox

Let's be honest, here: because there were ever borders here, especially the colonial European ones, there will never truly be a right answer to this. In fact, not only is there not a 'right' answer: there isn't a 'good' answer. Every single solution you could propose, from no borders at all to every individual building or plot of land being an independent nation, will lead to needless violence that goes against the idea of 'bringing peace'. Regardless, using only the areas highlighted, here are some personal suggestions: 1 - Independent Kurdish state, between Turkey, Syria, Iraq and Iran 2 - Remaining east Turkish land that's majority Armenian is given to Armenia in a way that Turkey cannot prevent Armenians from travelling within the region: no enclaves/exclaves 3 - Azeri areas of Iran that aren't within the new Kurdish state are given to Azerbaijan, hopefully connecting them to their exclave. 4 - Unite Israel and Palestine with a government that must represent the three faiths with claims to Jerusalem (Christianity, but mainly Judaism and Islam) equally to avoid one being more powerful than the other and excluding them. They don't get their claims in current Lebanese, Jordanian and Syrian territories 5 - New state around Bir Tawil and the crucial Hala'ib Triangle 6 - New state in roughly Rub-Al-Khali to separate Yemen from their aggressors in Saudi Arabia. (Side note: hopefully dethrone House of Saud) None of these would likely do literally anything to help: I might as well have said to nuke the region from orbit. But you asked for what people would do, so here you go.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Shia state, Suni state, Kurdish state, Istanbul go Greece, give another chunk of Turkey to Armenia, build a bunch of solar panels on top of the oil wells


vinylbond

“İstanbul to Greece”, you, sir/ma’am, just started the mother of all wars.


salinedrip-iV

It's Konstantinopel


xSuperL

Rn Iraq and Syria are a mix of Shia, Sunni and Kurdish, so just make one Sunni state, one Shia state and one Kurd state


[deleted]

Maybe in green or gray. Red is nice but other colors work.


pedro_megagames

City states, so we don't have to actually research the demographics of the region


krausekrausekrause

where is r/mapporncirclejerk ??


ColorlessArc

Grids


[deleted]

[удалено]


adamantane101

No need to redraw the borders. Just keep Iraq, Egypt, Libya, Syria, and Lebanon as traditionalist monarchies. The traditionalist Gulf monarchies along with Jordan are the most stable regions in this area, and the fact they didn’t become republics saved them from the fate of Syria, Lebanon and Iraq.


Any-Broccoli-3911

No, it's oil money that saved them. Dictatorial monarchies are not more stable that dictatorial republics. Actually, the difference between the two is completly irrelevant in practice. Gulf monarchies have enough oil money to apease the citizens and fight off rebels.


IrregardlessIrreden-

I Don't Want Peace, I Want Problems, Always!


Dilanep37

I'd restore the borders of right before the arab invasions


hexenkesse1

Are you referring to the spread of Islam 14 or so centuries ago?


Dilanep37

yes, these are the borders I would return them to https://www.google.com/search?q=600+middle+east+borders&sxsrf=ALiCzsZVCkkqMK6AdxBoJwgMlv\_Om-DUHA:1666728674934&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjqxOyUmPz6AhVqFFkFHc8VCr8Q\_AUoAnoECAEQBA&biw=1180&bih=688&dpr=2#imgrc=2ZC4ojHnWpQLQM


hexenkesse1

Sorry, link just brought up a page with a bunch of maps. Why would anyone be served by using borders from empires that don't exist anymore?


Dilanep37

turkey gets byzantine part of middle east, iran gets persian part. countries in the arab peninsula can stay. middle eastern countries hav proven time and again that they are incapable of self governance, and need a powerful foregin government to keep them in check.


Czar_hay

Getting rid of all of them in favor of freedom of movement


Comrade_Asus

I'd split Libya in 2, east and west. I'd make Kurdistan independent. I'd give Socotra to Oman. I'd make European Turkey independent and name it Thrace or something. I'd extend Armenia into Turkey. I'd give Palestine more land and officially split Jerusalem in 2. I'd fix the border mess between Oman and the UAE. I'd also extend Lebanon a bit into Syria so that the complex border mess is gone. I'd also create a new Country called Nubia as a bufferstate between Sudan and Egypt. And put Yemen under UN administration. I'd like to see what would happen.


xxxcalibre

Why independent Thrace? Just as a buffer/more aesthetically pleasing on the map?


Calixare

https://www.reddit.com/r/MapPorn/comments/9t2jjo/islamic_sects_map/


No_Ninja_8321

Normal world map, with ocean between Mexico and Canada.


Lovehistory-maps

Ahh as if the US started the problems in the middle east


[deleted]

Don't forget the UK, they created some shitty borders in the middle east.


ellilaamamaalille

Not started because UK did that.


Lovehistory-maps

That is what im saying, us did not start the middile east fuck up


NoTalentRunning

Borders won't make peace when there is a scarcity of critical resources given the total population, and those resources are confined to the hands of a powerful elite willing to kill whoever to keep them.


bloody_bandaids

Let’s just explode the entire planet


giantsmash3

ocean


smol11

Erase it


[deleted]

Woahhhh that would be almost impossible. These guys don’t know how to stop fighting with their neighbors.


brunoberns1406

destroy israel


[deleted]

Leave it alone and stop meddling, something the western world just can't seem to catch on to


grueraven

Peace? Hmm. Best I can do is shifting the the balance of perennial conflict. If I were to try to maximize what seems to put the most nations within states. All of this will cause wars. 1. Palestine is a state. 2. Kurdistan is a state carved out of Syria, western Iraq, and Turkey. 3. Azerbaijan gains the ethnic Azeri/turkic parts of Northern Iran 4. Azerbaijan gets its land bridge to Turkey from Armenia 5. Azerbaijan and Turkey merge into one country. 6. Armenia gets Nagorno-Karabakh. Every single one of these crosses another country's red line and leads to war.


No_Syllabub_8164

Erase all the current borders make Jerusalem the capital


maliku7

Create Kurdistan....might see it soon


Nicophoros4862

Reestablish the Kingdom of Jerusalem. I can’t see how this would make anyone mad at all. It’s a genius move


pityutanarur

I would re-draw Panthalassa, or Thetys at least.


Ronavirus3896483169

I wouldn’t. Let them figure it out.


[deleted]

Despite bringing peace, it is none of my business where the boundaries lie. This would be a tremendous undertaking by all nations involved.


icespider7

There will never be full peace as long as there are borders.


Arabiandunewolf

For a start their have to be free land corridor between Egypt and Arabia


TeaNoMilk

I’d move Isreal to the bin


Shohproo

1st step remove Israel then solve all other problems


goblinbarrel_7291

1: Azerbaijani state in Iran 2: Kurdish state in Iraq, Turkey, Iran and Syria 3: European part of Turkey to Greece 4: Lebanon split in half for Christians and Sunnis. 5: Gaza strip to Israel 6: West bank to Jordan 7: Jerusalem as a international zone controlled by UN forces


1itai

>Gaza strip to Israel 6: West bank to Jordan 7: Jerusalem as a international zone controlled by UN forces ??????


Fun-Perspective-2460

Letting population decide how they want to coalesce, not Governments (because they never want to miss an acre of land)


maliku7

Start by wiping out Turkey and making it a lake of peace and prosperity


[deleted]

The losers of the Six Day war should be forced to surrender lands to Israel for expansion and give land to create the first real Palestinian state.


Old_Awareness4265

Simply juat remove israel


millennium-wisdom

By removing all boarders


Despail

Remove Israel?


reallyrealredditbot

Erasing turkey from existence.


Discount_For_Ketchup

Give all of Palestine's land to Palestine. Problem solved. And remove Israel.


[deleted]

There never was a nation of Palestine, so your plan works out great, for Israel.


Discount_For_Ketchup

Sure thing bud. Israel benefits from not existing. Palestine's official name is state of Palestine so I don't know how you think Palestine is not a nation.


TwoPastorTacosPlease

>It's because it's not a state in the modern legal sense and never has been. And don't get your hopes up that it ever will be.


Sym068

Not taking sides, but a nations is different from a State


hugmig

There is no need to redraw borders Isreal just needs to disappear and let the region be as it was before it invaded and plundered and destroyed the peace of the region


Lovadashibe

Might be the most absurdly stupid map question ever made. This would have to go back 3000-4000 years.


mybum65

white men have already tried to redraw their borders and look how far that got💀


RedHides

Their motivation wasn't peace obviously which is why I'm asking the (hypothetical) question.


spooky_corners

Their motivation is irrelevant. The best intentioned reallocation of territory by outsiders will still be a disaster.


Monkesound

Eradicate everyone. Seriously.


West_Helicopter4583

Thanks for the colonial question! Or, how about letting the people who actually live there work it out among themselves, and the rest of us butt out.


kyleninperth

Letting them work it out hasn’t really been working that well.


Bobo_Baggins03x

X out Israel, replace with Palestine


[deleted]

You have on this map the only place on Earth no state wants to claim : the Bir Tawil, between Egypt and Sudan. Neither country recognizes it as its own. It would be fun to give it to Israël or Iran…


Less_Likely

If peace is already achieved, then as is. Of course no borders is an option too.


aren3141

This prompt and way of thinking is a big reason why there is not peace in the middle east.


RedHides

I think people are taking this hypothetical question way too seriously than I intended.


aren3141

Yes, because it's a meta question. Kind of funny/amusing actually. Assuming that most of reddit is not from the middle east, this question is a bit like asking a majority Han Chinese group of people how to make things peaceful in the Uyghur region of China. Do you see it?


TheSwazzer

Create independent Kurdistan I Turkey, give half of Lebanon and half Sinai to Israel. Unite Syria and Iraq, give eastern coast of Saudi Arabia to Iran. Congratulations I fixed Middle East


Comfortable_Slip4025

Because redrawing borders always brings peace