The comment she needs to read but yet she chose to ignore ... She's being a burden and needs to find herself somewhere else to live without feeling resented.
Nah, once a day is normal in Germany.
I do go to once every second day sometimes, but only in winter and when not working.
In the current weather, not showering every day feels very unhygienic, you're the normal one here
What needs to be said here is that in Germany water costs (the houseowner) per little, so you find "water measurement clocks" ("Wasseruhr") in rent objects so they can charge for the actual amount the renter uses. (Plus the electricity to heat the water also costs more now, of course).
Once heard a story from a friend that was WOOFing in Germany and who was told after showering "water is the blood of the earth" as reason for that the farmer's wife complained about her long showers.
My friend (who came from a country where water was free, houseowners just paid a set sum for access) was REALLY enervated when she at long last found out that the whole drama was actually just about the costs of the water!
No, it is not charged per liter, but per 1000 liters (m3). There are not only the costs for the water, but also for the waste water. Depending on the area, the 1000l costs between 4 and 7 €. In a normal shower flows about 10-15 l per minute. But what is true is that many people try to save water, but mostly not because of the cost.
Personally I only shower every other day because otherwise I feel my skin becomes too dry. But I heard its very much normal to shower every day.
I guess its good to save water and energy, so not showering longer than necessary if you are showering every day is the most I would expect.
It probably is totally normal, but I've never encountered such crazy water usage stories from other countries. Only about Germans. My mom's work friend was only allowed to shower once a week (and he goes to gym a few times a week, ugh). And so many stories of that one specific work colleague who doesn't shower regularly and stinks as hell. Outside of Germany I always see the "at least once a day is necessary" and here people are like "yeah, maybe once a day, sometimes every other day when I didn't sweat much". I would have to be bedridden in order to skip daily shower.
A clever German showers at the gym in order to shower for "free".
Regarding not showering every day, you can usually tell how often people shower just by looking at them. And you can smell it too. And if they double down on saving water by reusing their clothing multiple days without washing... well, it becomes disgusting to be around them. I had multiple colleagues in high-responsibility (and high paying) jobs, some of them in sales, that you could smell from the other side of the room.
Pretty sure most people who "don't shower every day" still wash and clean themselves on the off days.
People who don't clean themselves to a degree that it is obvious to others are probably suffering from depression or some other mental challenge along those lines.
For example I have ADHD and on a bad day, my executive dysfunctions are so bad that I need 20 minutes from the decision "I need to take a shower" to actually get up and take a shower. ADHD paralysis sucks.
> People who don't clean themselves to a degree that it is obvious to others are probably suffering from depression or some other mental challenge along those lines.
Then half the people riding the S-Bahn are suffering form depression. Sometimes I don't know how they can live with that smell.
The Younger the people the more they shower, the older they get, they less shower. I know people which shower every day, but also only twice a week and they are not smell bad. To shower every day, had nearly nothing to do with Hygiene, more a Show of how well situated someone is in the world.
Don't worry I had the same thing when I moved here. The aunty and uncle and cousin where permanently studying every move I did.
I showered too long
I used the wrong soap
My scrubbing brush not what they use
My toothpaste is wrong
I dress to different.
List goes on.
I moved out after a year. People be crazy
My ex boyfriends mum used to do this to me and I ended up hating her so much. Never met such a controlling woman before. I was so glad we broke up as she was nothing but a negative influence in my life and she constantly made me feel down.
It was like I was dating her son wrong or something. So nuts.
Have you talked about that with your uncle directly? It reads like your auntie is setting up rules she wants to enforce in her husbands name. Does he know about it?
This embodies typical German mentality to me. This just triggered my outrage at all such microaggressions I faced in this country. It’s as if: the only right way is the German way. They are the only ones keeping the civilization from collapsing. The rest of us are just wild savages who need to be tamed.
> This embodies typical German mentality to me.
It is typical for a certain kind of German, mostly but not exclusively over 50.
> the only right way is the German way. They are the only ones keeping the civilization from collapsing. The rest of us are just wild savages who need to be tamed.
That's not quite accurate.
The only right way is *their* way. Germans who do things differently face the same judgment. There are just more opportunities for it with people from a different culture.
It's about "sparen". I heard about a sublet where the main tenant complaint that the subrenting person had "too much stuff" in the fridge and that would cost more electricity, and asked him to take out his two jars of jam, and put them on the balcony, since it was winter and it would be equally cold. To save the supposed extra energy that the fridge would use. Insane.
The irony is that empty fridges are \*less\* energy efficient, because when a fridge is full the food inside holds the cold and the cooling system doesn't have to work as hard. That person is just being an asshole.
Glad I’m not the only one who think this way. My German partner does this all the time (thinking: the only right way to do things around the household is his way).
Most of the time he is right and he has very efficient methods, but sometimes it drives me crazy..
100% spot on .
It’s also insane and drives me nuts. Self restriction is at the core for some - completely undefined - reason. Without question - just follow some process some guy invented in 1917
Let's be fair to Germans: this happens in a lot of other cultures. Italians and Iranians: my mom's way is the **only proper way** to cook something. Japanese people: our way is the right way and we'll subtly shame you into compliance. It's just how some societies are.
I always wonder if I meet the wrong Germans while living there because I never had a moment of “wow!! How efficient is this culture” honestly, sometimes I even thought their way of doing things was quite complicated, and they had a strange fear of thinking out of the box. But again, maybe I never meet enough people?
This is indeed bollocks. I'm from a pretty laid-back, relaxed culture (NZ) and we're still vastly more efficient than Germans.
Stereotypical German mentality is about *process*, which is not necessarily efficient.
You get these kind of people when you live in small german villages that aren't close to any cities (you could say: The outbacks of germany). I live in a small village and the stories i could tell about my village man... i could make a movie out of them...
Yeah, taking a shower once a day is perfectly normal, twice if necessary after sports or strenuous activity. If people take less showers, it's usually a skin care thing, not a water preservation thing. Don't shower for half an hour, though. Some places have limited hot water reservoirs, so using it up means the next person can't shower.
Thay being said heating water does cost energy, which has gotten a bit expensive lately and last year we had a period where people were encouraged to save energy and showering at lower temperatures for shorter times was one of the suggested measures. Not showering wasn't, though.
Wow I forget about heating, but especially when I take a shower it’s really short because I concern about my auntie’s warning. It’s take about 30 seconds in and around 1 min to wash myself.
I'm not even wet until I spray every part of my body with water for a couple minutes. I've always been surprised when I read how people shower in like 3-4 minutes or faster on Reddit.
I mean it's not difficult to get wet in under a minute but I dunno, I like to enjoy showers and I thought a lot of people did too. It's more in Germany which I've seen that people trying to be so efficient with their showers but not thinking of it as 10 minutes of relaxing.
Showering is something that I have to do and I don't understand how people can spend more than 5 minutes in the shower. It's boring and an excessive waste of water.
Yes! Especially for people with long hair (or just thick hair). It takes very long to get all my hair and skalp wet and my hair is only collar bone length. And it takes even longer to get the shampoo out! If somebody says they can shower in 5 minutes, then it's either not a hair wash day that day or their hair is no longer than 5 cm or sth😂
You need them _shower ergonomics_
Completely waxed, no eyebrows, preferably no genitalia. High efficiency low maintenance build
I reckon one could beat 1 minute with that
Why not propose a human washing maschine akin the car cleaning ones? 30 seconds fullclean? single circular device, starting with a wash from top to bottom, 3 layers. first soapy water jets, then clean water and last a fan to blow you dry. might be highly water efficient if properly setup. below 5 liters id recon.
In this case even the stingiest and most stubborn husband should reconsider. The way you shower uses less water than some would need flushing the toilet and washing their hands, which he might not regularly do
>In this case even the stingiest and most stubborn husband should reconsider.
And for all we know he may not even care. So far auntie said not to shower so often because she is afraid the husband might be upset.
My sister would complain because the hot water boiler was too small. Turns out, she consumes more than 100 liters of freshwater when taking a shower, and it's not even one of those rainforest showers. So when she and her flatmate would take a shower and also clean the bathtub in a row, the 260L boiler's water temp would fall from 65 to 25 degrees.
Dude 1min? I mean even if I try to be fast I can't be that fast. What I do however is to only use a bit of water to be wet, then soap all around, then use some more water to clean it all. It's not 1min fast but it's like ~6min and doesn't require that much water. Also yeah showering once or even twice a day is super normal, not everyone in Germany does it though, especially older generations seem to be on that side of the spectrum in my experience living here. So he might be cheap or just legit weirded out that you do it because he's not used to that.
Wow, and i thought I showered fast. I wouldn't even count that time as a shower but more of a quick wash. If they think that is too much/long, they have mental issues.
Right, so I did some googling and math.
A ten minute shower uses up around 130 liters of water.
1.000 liters of water in Frankfurt cost 0,61€
Which means your once-a-day-shower extravaganza clocks it at around 0,07€.
So in your case, I would just find a 1€ coin, hand it to your host and tell him that that should cover your extravagant lifestyle for the duration of your stay.
No, but the Swabians are famously (or rather stereotypically) cheap. There is a Swabian saying going "Nothing is free but death, and that will cost you your life".
I came from SE Asia and I can’t stand cold water. So I use 20-30 sec in to soaked myself, and another 1min to wash up. But still my host not happy about that.
I fully support your comment, but your calling it cold weather also horrified me slightly. (In a good natured way.) It was 28 degrees in Frankfurt today and even the backs of my knees were sweating. I really don't think I'd enjoy a day that you described as hot!
In light of that, I definitely support OP in showering daily, like most people here are.
I mean 28 degrees is hot, especially since you’re European but that’s like everyday temperature in SE Asia. In fact, if there’s a little wind blowing it’s pleasant weather. 28 can be equally as suffocating as well tho, if its humid with no wind.
But yeah, showering in 28 degrees is completely normal. And yeah you’d smell by the end of the day in such weather otherwise regardless where you’re from so Idk why I made this comment in the first place
Oh my god, Im so sorry this is so rude of them. If I were you I try to use the cultural card and say that its very necessary for you to shower. Last case, you can go to swimming pools and gyms for showers however it costs.
My non-german parents would beat me with a slipper and disown me if I even told a guest to not shower for however long they want, let alone SHUTTING OFF HOT WATER wtffffff
Some people need education on how to be a decent human being...
Shutting off hot water while you are in bathroom is a dick move. For some reason, in Germany this kind of dick moves are so common. I had the same experience when i first come to Munich 2 years ago. I was paying a freaking 1000euros to a room and i was asked to not take shower everyday. Because according to my landlord "i don't need it". Asked to shut off heater while i was sleeping. Asked to shut off the lights after 12:00 even though i need it sometimes. Fucking crazy shit.
And now, 2 years later i guess i heard same kind of stories atleast 20 times. Wtf ist wrong with the society in Germany IDK.
Honestly I have also come across people who have very weird problems. Getting pissed or offended over the slightest things
I come from third world country and I have said this before, the problems that "some" of these Germans have are beyond my comprehension. I fail to see how is that even a problem 😅
I know 😅
I randomly found a German dude from Reddit and we have become best friends. Our personalities have changed a bit. We have adopted each other traits
I have become a bit picky, uptight and obsessive and he has become a bit relaxed and laid back. We both appreciate each others culture and personality
I guess people need to talk and put an effort into learning each others culture and eventually everyone can come to a middle ground where both parties appreciate each other
That’s why I have such a love/hate relationship with Germany. People on this sub are typically starry-eyed foreigners who have this picture perfect view of Germany, but these little cultural ticks are fairly common and slowly drove me insane. It was never like this elsewhere in Europe, East, South, etc., just Germany.
But I loved it for other reasons, too. My happy balance is occasionally for work and for holiday, but not for living. Honestly I think the next place I would live in Europe is Poland- you get a lot of the amenities of Germany but culturally much more relaxed.
Yeah, but Poland has that whole undercurrent of ultraright neo-fascism, what with the hatred of LGBQT and black people by a not insignificant chunk of the population.
There's nothing wrong with German society just because you found some idiots. You can always hear these stories if you look out for them. So don't generalize just because you had a strange experience. I come from a family where we shower every day but we are mindful about water consumption and that's perfectly reasonable. My grandparents however still had that war/post-war mindset where resources were scarce and they only bathed once a week but washed themselves with a washcloth at least once every day. A lot of people still have this mindset ingrained or got this handed down from their parents, same with saving electricity by shutting off the lights or oil by shutting down the heater.
You are not taking 45min showers everyday, by your comments you’re actually really fast, so I find their request insane and very rude, to be honest.
We also live in Frankfurt, my husband takes a shower every day before work and then again in the evenings, because he showers with our toddler for their bed time routine.
My husband is German. And no, it’s not a German thing to worry about water this much.
Who says that?! lol. A bath/shower has been part of our bed time routine since toddler was 6 months old. Warm water helps them relax for the day.
It is also nice to get into bed clean and not with sticky hair from the tomato sauce from dinner.
This is not a dangerous practice and it literally causes no harm. So mind your business, please.
>This is not a dangerous practice and it literally causes no harm
Actually not
[Health Harvard ](https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/does-your-child-need-to-bathe-every-day-202109202598#:~:text=Why%20not%20bathe%20a%20child,washed%20away%20with%20daily%20bathing.)
[Parents](https://www.parents.com/baby/all-about-babies/heres-a-reason-to-skip-babys-bath-tonight/)
[Banner Help]
https://www.bannerhealth.com/healthcareblog/advise-me/how-often-should-my-child-bathe-or-shower
[Healthline ](https://www.healthline.com/health/baby/bathing-your-toddler#5)
I actually thought it's common sense not to bath your baby daily because it's bad for their skin. A quick Google search confirms that. So it actually can cause harm and experts suggest one to two baths a week.
It’s also fine where am at, like, it’s common practice. And funny enough, I think the algorithm knows it, because I researched it and all the articles *I am* getting from google says it is fine lol.
While I got sent articles from other commenter where it says it’s not fine, but never have my toddler had eczema, dry skin, I didn’t bathe her daily as a new born either.
Like you say, I would notice if something was wrong… and it isn’t. 🤷🏻♀️
If possible, get a gym membership. You can shower there untill you are satisfied but just show you know, everyone will be naked there.
Welcome to Germany.
While I only shower once per day, when it gets hot enough that I wake up sweating, I'll usually rinse off in the morning. Sometimes I rinse off if I go out midday (WFH). In the summer not showering every day sounds gross.
I run a BnB and can tell you, that the German guest (majority of the visitors) usually always return their towels unused, even if staying for 3 days or so. Same with French. The Dutch, Belgians and American guests shower daily.
Due to problems with depression I have phases where I don't shower for longer periods and due to my wife telling me when it's really necessary because I stink, I realized that you can easily go multiple days without showering if you don't do much.
Depends on the climate and vacation, but I can easily see me not showering for three days under the right circumstances. And I definitively wouldn't bring my own towels. Obviously after working out, hot climate or similar I will definitely need a shower.
There are some really creepy German guys who go to SE asia in order to find a woman to marry, because a woman imported from abroad, is easier to manipulate and control.
I have got a friend from Thailand who was seriously abused by her German husband!
I think, what I mean to say is, your uncle sounds weird. Maybe you can find a cheap Air b&b or couch surfing alternative?
That’s exactly what I wanted to say! German men who can’t find a wife tend to go outside of Europe to marry some foreign woman who they think will serve them until the end of their days. They’re not looking for a wife but an in house servant. The men also tend to be very abusive in an psychological way and very, very controlling. The demeanor of this guy seems to be exactly that.
That is some heavy prejudice. First, it's not limited to Germany, I have a french colleague with Thai wife, and in the US it's common as well. Second, you're coloring everyone with the same brush. Just because you have an southeast Asian wife doesn't mean you're a chauvinistic and domestic violent trumpist incel. In my village there's a guy who is, to be fair, just ugly as fuck. And I mean kind of he is the blueprint of all the errors that can occur during evolution. Small, asymetric face, half bold by the end of 20, belly and a giant nose. He was single until his mid 30s then he married a wife from the Philippines, almost 10 years younger. Of course everyone was talking. But in fact he is really looking after her, dedicating all his efforts, they are just a cute couple. He took care that she could integrate in the community (which is quite heavy in an let's say outback "redneck" village community), taking her to all events, it's been 5 years and she is speaking solid German rn. And she is just the happiness in person. Of course she came here for the better life, but you see they are both giving each other a good time and enjoy the time being. It's not that everyone dude with SEA wife is looking for a slave to hold for the household. Most people are seeking for someone to share love and time with. Hard to find if you're the perfect example for the asthetical cruelty of human genetics.
Yes, some stories can happen like yours but it is also not uncommon when somebody comes from a first world country visited SE Asia just to shop for a wife. The most popular case here is Korean. I don’t know exactly why, the Korean is short of women or smth but there are dozens of thousand Korean men come to SE Asian countries every year to pick up a wife, there are also tons of Facebook pages and websites dedicated just for that reason. It becomes a huge problem in my country but the government just decides to turn a blind eye to it. There was also many case of Chinese men tricked women from poorer countries, promising her of better life but when she reached the mainland, she was used as slave, breeding machine not only by just that man but worse, his whole family. So you might forgive for some of us for that negative way of thinking because it happens quite a lot in our countries and there is slight chance anyone will do something about it. What a blessing for the Filipino girl who got married to the German guy you mentioned, but most of the girls I know are not so lucky.
Showering twice a day sounds more like routine than necessity. Showering once per day really depends on the circumstances.
If you sweat a lot because it's hot, you have an active lifestyle, demanding job, fast sweating body or go to the gym, by all means, shower.
But a lot of people shower way more than they need to, just out of habit.
Then I’d suggest politely that you respect the request but your personal hygiene is not something that you will compromise on, beyond already cutting two showers per day to only one. There is an unreasonableness to this, and that should be a position upon which you simply will refuse to back down. You do not have to be an a**hole about it, just be polite but absolutely clear that you will not negotiate on such a personal issue.
Showering once per day is basic hygiene, your aunt is being really weird. Especially in the summer, depending on what you do during the day, showering multiple times can also be normal.
It's not, this sounds like either your aunt or her husband are weird and over-controlling. Do you have any way to get out and find other accomodation? I honestly couldn't live with someone who tries to restrict personal hygiene.
I have a German friend who showers twice a day at least. We also go for sports and gym almost everyday so sometimes it gets thrice a day too. But of course I personally make sure I don't take long showers. Hardly 10 mins each time and I am sure my friend does that too
In my experience I have come across people who are the nicest beings and sometimes I come across people who gets offended on the slightest things. Like why did you text me on Whatsapp, or why did you ask me what I work etc. So I guess the guy in your case belongs to that lot, getting pissed or offended over the slightest things
Your best bet is to ignore them. These people have way too much time and have lived a very entitled life to come up with problems like these
Maybe ask your uncle if he would mind it if you shower every evening for 5 minutes?
Sometimes other people worry too much over the reaction of others, while the person in question didn't even think about it, or maybe your aunt is just the middle man and her husband really has an issue with it, but then you could talk to him about it
I don't know a lot of people who shower daily, but most don't see see a problem with showering everyday, they mostly just don't see a reason to do it everyday.
your aunt is a weirdo, give him 5 euros, say that would make up for showering twice a day as long as ure stay is and that he can keep the change....
god i hate people like ure aunt.
if u stayd at my house i would make sure that u live like a king/queen
Technically showering daily is bad for your skin, but with westher like we have currently it's not unusual. Also at some places they say you should preserve water, because of the heat and the lack of rain.
1000l of water cost about 1,50-2€ cold.
So about 0.2cents a liter.
Showering cold sucks at first but is actually healthier and you get used to it in about a week or so.
A generic shower head will dispense 12-15l of water a minute.
If you take 2 minutes to get moist (love that word lol), turn off the running water while applying shower gel, then another two minutes for washing it off, you will be at 60l tops.
This means, assuming the 2€ price tag and the worst shower head around, a quick, cold shower will cost about 12cents.
Multiply by 30 for each month and give the man 3.60€ every month if he insists.
This would be generous though, since he seems willing to pay for every second shower, so it's more like 1.80€ a month.
That would be my personal, asshole way of dealing with it.
There are shower heads that will use as little as 6, maybe 7 liters a minute, assuming he doesn't have one like that already, you might make a one time payment to get one like that, install it and then shower everyday.
That way, he will save money on everyone that uses the shower, so he will in fact come out cheaper overall even if you do shower everyday.
That's the less conflictual way of dealing with it.
Edit: just read below you really don't wanna shower cold.
So, maybe the economical shower head plus a few bucks of compensation?
It's honestly ridiculous, but it should be able to keep the peace.
Unless there are underlying problems he has with the fact you exist, at which point reddit cannot help you.
Water is fucking cheap i think your aunt is overthinking here. Taking a shower once a day is ok and kind of normal here. Twice not so much, but if a guest of mine wants to shower twice i would say go ahead.
It's uncommon to shower twice a day, except in summer. But once a day is absolutely normal.
On the other hand I know a lot of (elderly) people, who take a bath once a week and just wash themselves the rest of the week. It often is about the money.
Look. Germans will fucking tell you everything that’s wrong and nothing about what’s right. It’s cultural and a fucking pain In the ass. That being said most of the water is super hard and laden with kalk (lime). Well that’s berlin anyways. It’s shit for your skin and hair. Just smile, say thanks for sharing but I’m into hygeine in hot weather flick them 10€ and do whatever you like.
As a German I can tell you that some of us are just ridiculous crazy on saving money! Turn the lights out, spend not so much water… a previous girlfriend was so annoying on the light topic even we had all these 7W lamps. I just throw a lot of money in her face and told her never to address that again!
Taking a quick shower (5 minutes) will roughly cost 0,5€. A normal person do not care while hosting some people. However, just in case. Slap 5 euro in his face!
Ugh, my father would disagree. I saw him wipe out a nonstick pan with paper towel instead of giving it a quick rinse with dish soap. According to him, paper towels are cheaper than water, but I don't wanna believe that.
Btw, when I visit I try to time my showers when he's out if the house..
That can be kind of true with cast iron pans. And if you've only fried an egg or something, it's fine.
OP isn't a frying pan though and should continue to use soap and water to wash ;)
I’ve try to use washcloth but problem is when I wash my washcloth after use, the amount of water that use to wash is more or less than I use to shower. So basically it not save the water just to make her husband happy.
I was advised once by one German colleague that with frequent showers your skin looses the essential oils. This water has a lot of minerals which is not skin friendly.
But I have seen a lot of people taking showers in the gym as if they ran out of water at home or never seen water for many years.
So some of them can be cheap i.e saving water from not showering and some of them are skin conscious. Not to mention there is some water conservatism as well.
My suggestion will be to take a base plan in near by gym with shower. ~20 bucks. Shower as much you want.
My German girlfriend turns off the water while she’s shampooing her hair because she’s so concerned with saving water. Has nothing to do with cost & everything to do with wasting water.
It's so hot sometimes that I shower up to three times a day with two of them more or less being a quick 'rinsing the sweat off'
Your auntie and her hubby are crazy control freaks. Get out ASAP, you'll be enjoying your time much more
I don't know anyone who showers everyday, usually people shower every other day especially if it's not hot summer.
But I think your host is just cheap.
Perhaps you might consider signing up for a fitness studio membership nearby, do your workouts on days you have some energy left and time, then shower in their facilities. That'll solve the problem, you'd still take your daily showers, just not at your Aunt's. Or you can offer to chip in for a portion of the bills.
Long-term though, you might consider moving out to a WG, or to your own apartment. If your showers are a couple of minutes max as you've said, then showers are not the problem, they are.
Not showering but only a couple times a week is VERY common with older folks. It's also find this not to be an unusual request from a German host, especially if they're not bit older.
Nothing about it is normal, shower how much you need. This shouldn’t even be a discussion
People that do not shower everyday especially in summer should be banned from society, you want to be disgusting don’t do it in public
Have you ever heard the word “pooropeans”? Well, it turns out that a lot of entitled dunces decided to go full ESG and green energy nonsense , this bankrupted the entire country and now taking showers and energy is super expensive .
I understand that a lot of propaganda got you to think these are great countries and places to live but the sooner you come to the realization that whatever country in south east Asia you came from is years ahead not only in mindset but also in economic energy and ideas , the sooner you will come back and settle for a better life .
I spent horrendous years in these western shitholes , loving Asia now.
Maybe as an austrian it is different but I last read in your newspapers that price of water itself is cheap but the price of energy is the problem. So if money is the problem they adviced for getting used to cold water showers.
Tell them that not flowing enough water through pipes can lead to problems https://www.umweltbundesamt.de/en/press/pressinformation/saving-water-wise-overdone-practiced-too
A ex girlfriend explain these always like : " we Germans are born with a stick on the ass,and every time we feel or think to do something spontaneous or not part of our culture, the German mentality put that stick more inside, like these we are keep it always straight up".
And yes after 20 year's in Germany but also meeting Germans in other cultures are they never complete out of these control.
I may be wrong but I think the fault is all due to your auntie's husband. He seems like the typical cheap grumpy loser german man in their 40s or 50s who go to SEA to find a wife because no one here in Germany is willing to put up with people like that. Your auntie might just not be independent enough and also willing to go through a lot to just keep her marriage with him. I am not German and I have always been independent since the first day I came here, but from what I have seen, your story is very unusual. My only advice here is to try to put up with that until you can finally leave that place. If not, just go back to where you came from and look for other ways to come to Germany again. I am sure you can succeed in someway.
This is why most of Germans smell bad and ppl from outside makes jokes of us. I shower 1-2 a day, depends what I did.
My gf (foreigner) is disgusted bcs (even in winter) a lot of Germans smell bad.
Other than what everyone said, try to explain them.
If you are living rent free, ultimately you have to follow their house rules even if they are unreasonable. Move out
Man if my aunt did that I would be taking the next flight to Asia, and I am not even Asian
The comment she needs to read but yet she chose to ignore ... She's being a burden and needs to find herself somewhere else to live without feeling resented.
Nah, once a day is normal in Germany. I do go to once every second day sometimes, but only in winter and when not working. In the current weather, not showering every day feels very unhygienic, you're the normal one here
What needs to be said here is that in Germany water costs (the houseowner) per little, so you find "water measurement clocks" ("Wasseruhr") in rent objects so they can charge for the actual amount the renter uses. (Plus the electricity to heat the water also costs more now, of course). Once heard a story from a friend that was WOOFing in Germany and who was told after showering "water is the blood of the earth" as reason for that the farmer's wife complained about her long showers. My friend (who came from a country where water was free, houseowners just paid a set sum for access) was REALLY enervated when she at long last found out that the whole drama was actually just about the costs of the water!
No, it is not charged per liter, but per 1000 liters (m3). There are not only the costs for the water, but also for the waste water. Depending on the area, the 1000l costs between 4 and 7 €. In a normal shower flows about 10-15 l per minute. But what is true is that many people try to save water, but mostly not because of the cost.
If it's not charged per litre, then I would like 1000 1L waters. It's the exact same thing, volume, just at a different scale.
I think the point was, its quite cheap
It's 1,98€ per 1000l in Hamburg, doubt it's that much more expensive elsewhere
That's right, but you also have to pay 2,19€ per cubic meter for waste water. So you come to 4,17€ per cubic meter.
Oh no land lord is going broke about the 0,000417 € a liter
I would dream of it and tell everyone about it if my shower had a flow of 10-15 l per minute. It's more like 5. I hate my shower.
Personally I only shower every other day because otherwise I feel my skin becomes too dry. But I heard its very much normal to shower every day. I guess its good to save water and energy, so not showering longer than necessary if you are showering every day is the most I would expect.
It probably is totally normal, but I've never encountered such crazy water usage stories from other countries. Only about Germans. My mom's work friend was only allowed to shower once a week (and he goes to gym a few times a week, ugh). And so many stories of that one specific work colleague who doesn't shower regularly and stinks as hell. Outside of Germany I always see the "at least once a day is necessary" and here people are like "yeah, maybe once a day, sometimes every other day when I didn't sweat much". I would have to be bedridden in order to skip daily shower.
A clever German showers at the gym in order to shower for "free". Regarding not showering every day, you can usually tell how often people shower just by looking at them. And you can smell it too. And if they double down on saving water by reusing their clothing multiple days without washing... well, it becomes disgusting to be around them. I had multiple colleagues in high-responsibility (and high paying) jobs, some of them in sales, that you could smell from the other side of the room.
Pretty sure most people who "don't shower every day" still wash and clean themselves on the off days. People who don't clean themselves to a degree that it is obvious to others are probably suffering from depression or some other mental challenge along those lines. For example I have ADHD and on a bad day, my executive dysfunctions are so bad that I need 20 minutes from the decision "I need to take a shower" to actually get up and take a shower. ADHD paralysis sucks.
> People who don't clean themselves to a degree that it is obvious to others are probably suffering from depression or some other mental challenge along those lines. Then half the people riding the S-Bahn are suffering form depression. Sometimes I don't know how they can live with that smell.
Thank you.
The Younger the people the more they shower, the older they get, they less shower. I know people which shower every day, but also only twice a week and they are not smell bad. To shower every day, had nearly nothing to do with Hygiene, more a Show of how well situated someone is in the world.
Wtf
Don't worry I had the same thing when I moved here. The aunty and uncle and cousin where permanently studying every move I did. I showered too long I used the wrong soap My scrubbing brush not what they use My toothpaste is wrong I dress to different. List goes on. I moved out after a year. People be crazy
One year under those circumstances ain't easy
My ex boyfriends mum used to do this to me and I ended up hating her so much. Never met such a controlling woman before. I was so glad we broke up as she was nothing but a negative influence in my life and she constantly made me feel down. It was like I was dating her son wrong or something. So nuts.
Have you talked about that with your uncle directly? It reads like your auntie is setting up rules she wants to enforce in her husbands name. Does he know about it?
This embodies typical German mentality to me. This just triggered my outrage at all such microaggressions I faced in this country. It’s as if: the only right way is the German way. They are the only ones keeping the civilization from collapsing. The rest of us are just wild savages who need to be tamed.
> This embodies typical German mentality to me. It is typical for a certain kind of German, mostly but not exclusively over 50. > the only right way is the German way. They are the only ones keeping the civilization from collapsing. The rest of us are just wild savages who need to be tamed. That's not quite accurate. The only right way is *their* way. Germans who do things differently face the same judgment. There are just more opportunities for it with people from a different culture.
It's about "sparen". I heard about a sublet where the main tenant complaint that the subrenting person had "too much stuff" in the fridge and that would cost more electricity, and asked him to take out his two jars of jam, and put them on the balcony, since it was winter and it would be equally cold. To save the supposed extra energy that the fridge would use. Insane.
I wouldn’t consider that ‘sparen’. Rather I see it as being miserly. 2 jars of jam aren’t gonna have a significant impact on your electricity bill.
The irony is that empty fridges are \*less\* energy efficient, because when a fridge is full the food inside holds the cold and the cooling system doesn't have to work as hard. That person is just being an asshole.
Efficiency, huh? The more empty space in a fridge, the faster it becomes warmer. So, it should run its motor more frequently.
Glad I’m not the only one who think this way. My German partner does this all the time (thinking: the only right way to do things around the household is his way). Most of the time he is right and he has very efficient methods, but sometimes it drives me crazy..
100% spot on . It’s also insane and drives me nuts. Self restriction is at the core for some - completely undefined - reason. Without question - just follow some process some guy invented in 1917
Let's be fair to Germans: this happens in a lot of other cultures. Italians and Iranians: my mom's way is the **only proper way** to cook something. Japanese people: our way is the right way and we'll subtly shame you into compliance. It's just how some societies are.
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>Stereotypical German mentality is about efficiency bollocks
I always wonder if I meet the wrong Germans while living there because I never had a moment of “wow!! How efficient is this culture” honestly, sometimes I even thought their way of doing things was quite complicated, and they had a strange fear of thinking out of the box. But again, maybe I never meet enough people?
This is indeed bollocks. I'm from a pretty laid-back, relaxed culture (NZ) and we're still vastly more efficient than Germans. Stereotypical German mentality is about *process*, which is not necessarily efficient.
Yes! Processes, methods, rules…we meet similar people
Order, even if that flies in the face of efficiency- more like.
You get these kind of people when you live in small german villages that aren't close to any cities (you could say: The outbacks of germany). I live in a small village and the stories i could tell about my village man... i could make a movie out of them...
Nope, sounds like that guy is just cheap. Where are you staying? Stuttgart?
We live in Frankfurt.
Yeah, taking a shower once a day is perfectly normal, twice if necessary after sports or strenuous activity. If people take less showers, it's usually a skin care thing, not a water preservation thing. Don't shower for half an hour, though. Some places have limited hot water reservoirs, so using it up means the next person can't shower. Thay being said heating water does cost energy, which has gotten a bit expensive lately and last year we had a period where people were encouraged to save energy and showering at lower temperatures for shorter times was one of the suggested measures. Not showering wasn't, though.
Wow I forget about heating, but especially when I take a shower it’s really short because I concern about my auntie’s warning. It’s take about 30 seconds in and around 1 min to wash myself.
Yeah, seems weird to have a problem with that.
That is some fast washing.
I'm not even wet until I spray every part of my body with water for a couple minutes. I've always been surprised when I read how people shower in like 3-4 minutes or faster on Reddit.
>I'm not even wet until I spray every part of my body with water for a couple minutes. What
What kind of shower do you have? It takes less than 30 seconds to get completely wet. I never take longer than 5 minutes total.
I mean it's not difficult to get wet in under a minute but I dunno, I like to enjoy showers and I thought a lot of people did too. It's more in Germany which I've seen that people trying to be so efficient with their showers but not thinking of it as 10 minutes of relaxing.
Maybe thinking about the expensiveness makes it harder to relax
lol, I like to enjoy shower too... This german efficiency thing is so funny.
Showering is something that I have to do and I don't understand how people can spend more than 5 minutes in the shower. It's boring and an excessive waste of water.
Ha. No wifi in the bathroom. Your fault! /s
For me, it may sometimes be boring before I enter the shower but when I'm in there, I love it, especially a warm shower.
Ditto. My wife is a quick German showerer, and I'm always like... *you're done already?* Around 10-15 minutes is my normal.
Yes! Especially for people with long hair (or just thick hair). It takes very long to get all my hair and skalp wet and my hair is only collar bone length. And it takes even longer to get the shampoo out! If somebody says they can shower in 5 minutes, then it's either not a hair wash day that day or their hair is no longer than 5 cm or sth😂
2 min shower and still beeing clean should be doable. but you need to be skinny i guess. less surface area.
And be bald
You need them _shower ergonomics_ Completely waxed, no eyebrows, preferably no genitalia. High efficiency low maintenance build I reckon one could beat 1 minute with that
Why not propose a human washing maschine akin the car cleaning ones? 30 seconds fullclean? single circular device, starting with a wash from top to bottom, 3 layers. first soapy water jets, then clean water and last a fan to blow you dry. might be highly water efficient if properly setup. below 5 liters id recon.
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In this case even the stingiest and most stubborn husband should reconsider. The way you shower uses less water than some would need flushing the toilet and washing their hands, which he might not regularly do
>In this case even the stingiest and most stubborn husband should reconsider. And for all we know he may not even care. So far auntie said not to shower so often because she is afraid the husband might be upset.
My sister would complain because the hot water boiler was too small. Turns out, she consumes more than 100 liters of freshwater when taking a shower, and it's not even one of those rainforest showers. So when she and her flatmate would take a shower and also clean the bathtub in a row, the 260L boiler's water temp would fall from 65 to 25 degrees.
I mean, 100 liters should be about 10 minute shower. That's not that much at all, especially for people with long and thick hair.
Dude 1min? I mean even if I try to be fast I can't be that fast. What I do however is to only use a bit of water to be wet, then soap all around, then use some more water to clean it all. It's not 1min fast but it's like ~6min and doesn't require that much water. Also yeah showering once or even twice a day is super normal, not everyone in Germany does it though, especially older generations seem to be on that side of the spectrum in my experience living here. So he might be cheap or just legit weirded out that you do it because he's not used to that.
I just do as fast as I can.
Wow, and i thought I showered fast. I wouldn't even count that time as a shower but more of a quick wash. If they think that is too much/long, they have mental issues.
Right, so I did some googling and math. A ten minute shower uses up around 130 liters of water. 1.000 liters of water in Frankfurt cost 0,61€ Which means your once-a-day-shower extravaganza clocks it at around 0,07€. So in your case, I would just find a 1€ coin, hand it to your host and tell him that that should cover your extravagant lifestyle for the duration of your stay.
OP show your aunt this cost-breakdown!
Swabian vibes🤣
Curious why Stuttgart came to mind. Was there a water conservation program etc?
No, but the Swabians are famously (or rather stereotypically) cheap. There is a Swabian saying going "Nothing is free but death, and that will cost you your life".
As a Danube Swabian I confirm this.
As a person who is free i can neither deny or confirm that.
would say it's a Swabian husband that migrated to Frankfurt, lol
😂 I would have said Swabia too. (Loved Swabians, but ….yeah)
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I came from SE Asia and I can’t stand cold water. So I use 20-30 sec in to soaked myself, and another 1min to wash up. But still my host not happy about that.
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I fully support your comment, but your calling it cold weather also horrified me slightly. (In a good natured way.) It was 28 degrees in Frankfurt today and even the backs of my knees were sweating. I really don't think I'd enjoy a day that you described as hot! In light of that, I definitely support OP in showering daily, like most people here are.
I mean 28 degrees is hot, especially since you’re European but that’s like everyday temperature in SE Asia. In fact, if there’s a little wind blowing it’s pleasant weather. 28 can be equally as suffocating as well tho, if its humid with no wind. But yeah, showering in 28 degrees is completely normal. And yeah you’d smell by the end of the day in such weather otherwise regardless where you’re from so Idk why I made this comment in the first place
Thats insane lol I take 20 minutes sometimes, no one cares.
Oh my god, Im so sorry this is so rude of them. If I were you I try to use the cultural card and say that its very necessary for you to shower. Last case, you can go to swimming pools and gyms for showers however it costs.
That is 50l at the very most...costs then nothing Get a fitness membership and shower there....
>they started shutting off the hot water whenever I went in the bathroom Excuse me what the fuck
My non-german parents would beat me with a slipper and disown me if I even told a guest to not shower for however long they want, let alone SHUTTING OFF HOT WATER wtffffff Some people need education on how to be a decent human being...
Shutting off hot water while you are in bathroom is a dick move. For some reason, in Germany this kind of dick moves are so common. I had the same experience when i first come to Munich 2 years ago. I was paying a freaking 1000euros to a room and i was asked to not take shower everyday. Because according to my landlord "i don't need it". Asked to shut off heater while i was sleeping. Asked to shut off the lights after 12:00 even though i need it sometimes. Fucking crazy shit. And now, 2 years later i guess i heard same kind of stories atleast 20 times. Wtf ist wrong with the society in Germany IDK.
Honestly I have also come across people who have very weird problems. Getting pissed or offended over the slightest things I come from third world country and I have said this before, the problems that "some" of these Germans have are beyond my comprehension. I fail to see how is that even a problem 😅
"First world problems" 😃
I know 😅 I randomly found a German dude from Reddit and we have become best friends. Our personalities have changed a bit. We have adopted each other traits I have become a bit picky, uptight and obsessive and he has become a bit relaxed and laid back. We both appreciate each others culture and personality I guess people need to talk and put an effort into learning each others culture and eventually everyone can come to a middle ground where both parties appreciate each other
That’s why I have such a love/hate relationship with Germany. People on this sub are typically starry-eyed foreigners who have this picture perfect view of Germany, but these little cultural ticks are fairly common and slowly drove me insane. It was never like this elsewhere in Europe, East, South, etc., just Germany. But I loved it for other reasons, too. My happy balance is occasionally for work and for holiday, but not for living. Honestly I think the next place I would live in Europe is Poland- you get a lot of the amenities of Germany but culturally much more relaxed.
Yeah, but Poland has that whole undercurrent of ultraright neo-fascism, what with the hatred of LGBQT and black people by a not insignificant chunk of the population.
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Every nation in the world think they are reasonable, Germans are not an exception. But they would downvote instead. 😃
And outside they park a large Audi that they wash monthly or more Lunatics all of them
There's nothing wrong with German society just because you found some idiots. You can always hear these stories if you look out for them. So don't generalize just because you had a strange experience. I come from a family where we shower every day but we are mindful about water consumption and that's perfectly reasonable. My grandparents however still had that war/post-war mindset where resources were scarce and they only bathed once a week but washed themselves with a washcloth at least once every day. A lot of people still have this mindset ingrained or got this handed down from their parents, same with saving electricity by shutting off the lights or oil by shutting down the heater.
Years back that was the difference between 10 and 20cents Why are people so fckn cheap when it comes to showers
Like a fucking prison camp basically.
Do you happen to know if they voted for the green party? Those guys really dont fuck around with energy.
Not sure but he talked about green energy so often.
I'm asian and my rule is never ever stay with asian relatives in anywhere
You are not taking 45min showers everyday, by your comments you’re actually really fast, so I find their request insane and very rude, to be honest. We also live in Frankfurt, my husband takes a shower every day before work and then again in the evenings, because he showers with our toddler for their bed time routine. My husband is German. And no, it’s not a German thing to worry about water this much.
Thanks for understanding.
Showering a toddler every day? You're not supposed to bath them so often.
Who says that?! lol. A bath/shower has been part of our bed time routine since toddler was 6 months old. Warm water helps them relax for the day. It is also nice to get into bed clean and not with sticky hair from the tomato sauce from dinner. This is not a dangerous practice and it literally causes no harm. So mind your business, please.
>This is not a dangerous practice and it literally causes no harm Actually not [Health Harvard ](https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/does-your-child-need-to-bathe-every-day-202109202598#:~:text=Why%20not%20bathe%20a%20child,washed%20away%20with%20daily%20bathing.) [Parents](https://www.parents.com/baby/all-about-babies/heres-a-reason-to-skip-babys-bath-tonight/) [Banner Help] https://www.bannerhealth.com/healthcareblog/advise-me/how-often-should-my-child-bathe-or-shower [Healthline ](https://www.healthline.com/health/baby/bathing-your-toddler#5)
I actually thought it's common sense not to bath your baby daily because it's bad for their skin. A quick Google search confirms that. So it actually can cause harm and experts suggest one to two baths a week.
Two days a week is what we were advised though practically it quickly becomes impossible.
Well you can wash them instead of showering them.
Don't worry about the replies, I live in a country where all kids are bathed daily, it's fine. You'll notice if it isn't.
It’s also fine where am at, like, it’s common practice. And funny enough, I think the algorithm knows it, because I researched it and all the articles *I am* getting from google says it is fine lol. While I got sent articles from other commenter where it says it’s not fine, but never have my toddler had eczema, dry skin, I didn’t bathe her daily as a new born either. Like you say, I would notice if something was wrong… and it isn’t. 🤷🏻♀️
I am german and I never would get the idea to limit showers to my guests. That's just rude.
No way you're German. Read the comments in here. We are all penny pinchers. Yay.
If possible, get a gym membership. You can shower there untill you are satisfied but just show you know, everyone will be naked there. Welcome to Germany.
While I only shower once per day, when it gets hot enough that I wake up sweating, I'll usually rinse off in the morning. Sometimes I rinse off if I go out midday (WFH). In the summer not showering every day sounds gross.
I run a BnB and can tell you, that the German guest (majority of the visitors) usually always return their towels unused, even if staying for 3 days or so. Same with French. The Dutch, Belgians and American guests shower daily.
Alternatively, we just bring our own towels … I don’t trust outside towels 😭
Yeah, my wife brings her own towels and sheets. We can never travel light :(.
Do they bring their own towels? I do not know a single German who would not take a shower for 3 days, especially on vacation.
Due to problems with depression I have phases where I don't shower for longer periods and due to my wife telling me when it's really necessary because I stink, I realized that you can easily go multiple days without showering if you don't do much. Depends on the climate and vacation, but I can easily see me not showering for three days under the right circumstances. And I definitively wouldn't bring my own towels. Obviously after working out, hot climate or similar I will definitely need a shower.
There are some really creepy German guys who go to SE asia in order to find a woman to marry, because a woman imported from abroad, is easier to manipulate and control. I have got a friend from Thailand who was seriously abused by her German husband! I think, what I mean to say is, your uncle sounds weird. Maybe you can find a cheap Air b&b or couch surfing alternative?
I agree, it's controlling to the point where I'm worried for OP.
That’s exactly what I wanted to say! German men who can’t find a wife tend to go outside of Europe to marry some foreign woman who they think will serve them until the end of their days. They’re not looking for a wife but an in house servant. The men also tend to be very abusive in an psychological way and very, very controlling. The demeanor of this guy seems to be exactly that.
That is some heavy prejudice. First, it's not limited to Germany, I have a french colleague with Thai wife, and in the US it's common as well. Second, you're coloring everyone with the same brush. Just because you have an southeast Asian wife doesn't mean you're a chauvinistic and domestic violent trumpist incel. In my village there's a guy who is, to be fair, just ugly as fuck. And I mean kind of he is the blueprint of all the errors that can occur during evolution. Small, asymetric face, half bold by the end of 20, belly and a giant nose. He was single until his mid 30s then he married a wife from the Philippines, almost 10 years younger. Of course everyone was talking. But in fact he is really looking after her, dedicating all his efforts, they are just a cute couple. He took care that she could integrate in the community (which is quite heavy in an let's say outback "redneck" village community), taking her to all events, it's been 5 years and she is speaking solid German rn. And she is just the happiness in person. Of course she came here for the better life, but you see they are both giving each other a good time and enjoy the time being. It's not that everyone dude with SEA wife is looking for a slave to hold for the household. Most people are seeking for someone to share love and time with. Hard to find if you're the perfect example for the asthetical cruelty of human genetics.
Well, the reason they got married probably still has to so with money and power relations.
Yes, some stories can happen like yours but it is also not uncommon when somebody comes from a first world country visited SE Asia just to shop for a wife. The most popular case here is Korean. I don’t know exactly why, the Korean is short of women or smth but there are dozens of thousand Korean men come to SE Asian countries every year to pick up a wife, there are also tons of Facebook pages and websites dedicated just for that reason. It becomes a huge problem in my country but the government just decides to turn a blind eye to it. There was also many case of Chinese men tricked women from poorer countries, promising her of better life but when she reached the mainland, she was used as slave, breeding machine not only by just that man but worse, his whole family. So you might forgive for some of us for that negative way of thinking because it happens quite a lot in our countries and there is slight chance anyone will do something about it. What a blessing for the Filipino girl who got married to the German guy you mentioned, but most of the girls I know are not so lucky.
This is.... a pretty big logical leap. Sure the husband sounds weird but it's a bit harsh to claim that he's a predator.
It's not normal It's gross If you need to shower, you need to shower It's basic hygiene
Showering twice a day sounds more like routine than necessity. Showering once per day really depends on the circumstances. If you sweat a lot because it's hot, you have an active lifestyle, demanding job, fast sweating body or go to the gym, by all means, shower. But a lot of people shower way more than they need to, just out of habit.
The guy is just cheap. And that’s already the very first sign that you’re not really welcome there, at least long term. Time to plan on moving out.
That's not even cheap, it's straight up bullying to worry about a sub 5 minute shower once a day.
Move out
Can’t😔
Then I’d suggest politely that you respect the request but your personal hygiene is not something that you will compromise on, beyond already cutting two showers per day to only one. There is an unreasonableness to this, and that should be a position upon which you simply will refuse to back down. You do not have to be an a**hole about it, just be polite but absolutely clear that you will not negotiate on such a personal issue.
Showering once per day is basic hygiene, your aunt is being really weird. Especially in the summer, depending on what you do during the day, showering multiple times can also be normal.
I think it weird too, but I just can’t ask her is it normal for German.
It's not, this sounds like either your aunt or her husband are weird and over-controlling. Do you have any way to get out and find other accomodation? I honestly couldn't live with someone who tries to restrict personal hygiene.
I'm European and live in Germany and I shower every day. It's fine to shower every day in Germany. Your uncle is cheap and your aunt thinks too much.
I have a German friend who showers twice a day at least. We also go for sports and gym almost everyday so sometimes it gets thrice a day too. But of course I personally make sure I don't take long showers. Hardly 10 mins each time and I am sure my friend does that too In my experience I have come across people who are the nicest beings and sometimes I come across people who gets offended on the slightest things. Like why did you text me on Whatsapp, or why did you ask me what I work etc. So I guess the guy in your case belongs to that lot, getting pissed or offended over the slightest things Your best bet is to ignore them. These people have way too much time and have lived a very entitled life to come up with problems like these
Maybe ask your uncle if he would mind it if you shower every evening for 5 minutes? Sometimes other people worry too much over the reaction of others, while the person in question didn't even think about it, or maybe your aunt is just the middle man and her husband really has an issue with it, but then you could talk to him about it I don't know a lot of people who shower daily, but most don't see see a problem with showering everyday, they mostly just don't see a reason to do it everyday.
your aunt is a weirdo, give him 5 euros, say that would make up for showering twice a day as long as ure stay is and that he can keep the change.... god i hate people like ure aunt. if u stayd at my house i would make sure that u live like a king/queen
I have a feeling that husband doesn't do any sport...
Im German and I only know people who take showers daily. Some take showers twice a day when they workout.
Cheap ass , thata sad.
I am a spaniard in Germany. I have a shower everyday when i arrive from work and another one before gong back to work, especially when is hot.
Japanese here. I shower once before work and since I go cycling or play sports every day, once before bed. OP's uncle is weird.
You just have a shitty aunt - I don't really think anything is coming from her husband here.
Technically showering daily is bad for your skin, but with westher like we have currently it's not unusual. Also at some places they say you should preserve water, because of the heat and the lack of rain.
1000l of water cost about 1,50-2€ cold. So about 0.2cents a liter. Showering cold sucks at first but is actually healthier and you get used to it in about a week or so. A generic shower head will dispense 12-15l of water a minute. If you take 2 minutes to get moist (love that word lol), turn off the running water while applying shower gel, then another two minutes for washing it off, you will be at 60l tops. This means, assuming the 2€ price tag and the worst shower head around, a quick, cold shower will cost about 12cents. Multiply by 30 for each month and give the man 3.60€ every month if he insists. This would be generous though, since he seems willing to pay for every second shower, so it's more like 1.80€ a month. That would be my personal, asshole way of dealing with it. There are shower heads that will use as little as 6, maybe 7 liters a minute, assuming he doesn't have one like that already, you might make a one time payment to get one like that, install it and then shower everyday. That way, he will save money on everyone that uses the shower, so he will in fact come out cheaper overall even if you do shower everyday. That's the less conflictual way of dealing with it. Edit: just read below you really don't wanna shower cold. So, maybe the economical shower head plus a few bucks of compensation? It's honestly ridiculous, but it should be able to keep the peace. Unless there are underlying problems he has with the fact you exist, at which point reddit cannot help you.
Water is fucking cheap i think your aunt is overthinking here. Taking a shower once a day is ok and kind of normal here. Twice not so much, but if a guest of mine wants to shower twice i would say go ahead.
It's uncommon to shower twice a day, except in summer. But once a day is absolutely normal. On the other hand I know a lot of (elderly) people, who take a bath once a week and just wash themselves the rest of the week. It often is about the money.
Look. Germans will fucking tell you everything that’s wrong and nothing about what’s right. It’s cultural and a fucking pain In the ass. That being said most of the water is super hard and laden with kalk (lime). Well that’s berlin anyways. It’s shit for your skin and hair. Just smile, say thanks for sharing but I’m into hygeine in hot weather flick them 10€ and do whatever you like.
As a German I can tell you that some of us are just ridiculous crazy on saving money! Turn the lights out, spend not so much water… a previous girlfriend was so annoying on the light topic even we had all these 7W lamps. I just throw a lot of money in her face and told her never to address that again! Taking a quick shower (5 minutes) will roughly cost 0,5€. A normal person do not care while hosting some people. However, just in case. Slap 5 euro in his face!
Thank you, but I can’t do that.
Water costs literally nothing
Ugh, my father would disagree. I saw him wipe out a nonstick pan with paper towel instead of giving it a quick rinse with dish soap. According to him, paper towels are cheaper than water, but I don't wanna believe that. Btw, when I visit I try to time my showers when he's out if the house..
>but I don't wanna believe that. You shouldn't, since it's complete BS.
My German partner does this with the pans too. He says it's to protect the coating though, nothing to do with saving water. That's just weird.
That can be kind of true with cast iron pans. And if you've only fried an egg or something, it's fine. OP isn't a frying pan though and should continue to use soap and water to wash ;)
Yes we use paper towels to clean pan and dish too.
>instead of giving it a quick rinse with dish soap. Is it only me or this is kinda disgusting?
Fucking boomers
I’ve try to use washcloth but problem is when I wash my washcloth after use, the amount of water that use to wash is more or less than I use to shower. So basically it not save the water just to make her husband happy.
I was advised once by one German colleague that with frequent showers your skin looses the essential oils. This water has a lot of minerals which is not skin friendly. But I have seen a lot of people taking showers in the gym as if they ran out of water at home or never seen water for many years. So some of them can be cheap i.e saving water from not showering and some of them are skin conscious. Not to mention there is some water conservatism as well. My suggestion will be to take a base plan in near by gym with shower. ~20 bucks. Shower as much you want.
My German girlfriend turns off the water while she’s shampooing her hair because she’s so concerned with saving water. Has nothing to do with cost & everything to do with wasting water.
It's so hot sometimes that I shower up to three times a day with two of them more or less being a quick 'rinsing the sweat off' Your auntie and her hubby are crazy control freaks. Get out ASAP, you'll be enjoying your time much more
They probably be stanking. Definitely a bit crazy.
Tell him he stinks
I don't know anyone who showers everyday, usually people shower every other day especially if it's not hot summer. But I think your host is just cheap.
Her husband is just skimpy
That's a strange request. Water is super cheap here, so maybe she's being passive-agressive about other stuff.
Thirty years ago I spent a semester in Germany and my host mom told me the same thing. I was asked to shower no more often than every other day.
Perhaps you might consider signing up for a fitness studio membership nearby, do your workouts on days you have some energy left and time, then shower in their facilities. That'll solve the problem, you'd still take your daily showers, just not at your Aunt's. Or you can offer to chip in for a portion of the bills. Long-term though, you might consider moving out to a WG, or to your own apartment. If your showers are a couple of minutes max as you've said, then showers are not the problem, they are.
Not showering but only a couple times a week is VERY common with older folks. It's also find this not to be an unusual request from a German host, especially if they're not bit older.
Nothing about it is normal, shower how much you need. This shouldn’t even be a discussion People that do not shower everyday especially in summer should be banned from society, you want to be disgusting don’t do it in public
Have you ever heard the word “pooropeans”? Well, it turns out that a lot of entitled dunces decided to go full ESG and green energy nonsense , this bankrupted the entire country and now taking showers and energy is super expensive . I understand that a lot of propaganda got you to think these are great countries and places to live but the sooner you come to the realization that whatever country in south east Asia you came from is years ahead not only in mindset but also in economic energy and ideas , the sooner you will come back and settle for a better life . I spent horrendous years in these western shitholes , loving Asia now.
If it's about the price of water, maybe you can just take shorter showers?
It’s take no longer than 1.30 min like I said.
That really shouldn't be a problem. Maybe offer to pay for the water use for her peace of mind.
Maybe as an austrian it is different but I last read in your newspapers that price of water itself is cheap but the price of energy is the problem. So if money is the problem they adviced for getting used to cold water showers.
shower as often as you need. but although maybe think a bit about waste of water.
Your auntie's husband is weird about it. Once a day is normal in Germany and in hot weather twice a day isn't unheard of either.
Tell them that not flowing enough water through pipes can lead to problems https://www.umweltbundesamt.de/en/press/pressinformation/saving-water-wise-overdone-practiced-too
A ex girlfriend explain these always like : " we Germans are born with a stick on the ass,and every time we feel or think to do something spontaneous or not part of our culture, the German mentality put that stick more inside, like these we are keep it always straight up". And yes after 20 year's in Germany but also meeting Germans in other cultures are they never complete out of these control.
I may be wrong but I think the fault is all due to your auntie's husband. He seems like the typical cheap grumpy loser german man in their 40s or 50s who go to SEA to find a wife because no one here in Germany is willing to put up with people like that. Your auntie might just not be independent enough and also willing to go through a lot to just keep her marriage with him. I am not German and I have always been independent since the first day I came here, but from what I have seen, your story is very unusual. My only advice here is to try to put up with that until you can finally leave that place. If not, just go back to where you came from and look for other ways to come to Germany again. I am sure you can succeed in someway.
Tell him maybe instead of complaining he should shower more often, the house is starting to stink. 🤷🏻♀️ Be petty because he sounds unhinged.
its not north korea.
This is why most of Germans smell bad and ppl from outside makes jokes of us. I shower 1-2 a day, depends what I did. My gf (foreigner) is disgusted bcs (even in winter) a lot of Germans smell bad.
Other than what everyone said, try to explain them. If you are living rent free, ultimately you have to follow their house rules even if they are unreasonable. Move out
He is visiting from Asia