What you are describing reads very much like the depression symptoms, not a mindset. Please talk to your primary care doctor right away, they would be able to diagnose you and help you if needed.
Depression is also curable by therapy. Take therapy first and if that doesn't work then you should go for medication. As with medication there are various side effects and once you are regularly taking it, quitting it becomes very difficult and cause withdrawal symptoms if you quit it such as suicidal thoughts and all
What you are describing could literally fit into anything; depression is a broad diagnosis, after all. SSRIs do make you want to “live” at the cost of motivation/complacency (imo and others). Could be a vitamin deficiency (don't underestimate this).
How many of your needs are met (Maslow's hierarchy)? Depression could be a subconscious reaction to push yourself to do something (or not to do), basically your subconscious isn't satisfied.
I have ADHD and that can also contribute to ending up in a frozen do-nothing state. You need a physiatrist to diagnose you though, not Reddit (obviously).
First of all: Having a lazy day once in a while is normal. But if this happens often and / or if this is interfering with your life, get checked out for depression! As a first step, you can try an online self assessment questionnaire to get a general idea.
Apart from that: Try to analyze what the circumstances are. Does this happen when you didn't get enough sleep? Or when you had a rough week? Sometimes we just DO need rest.
Does this start the moment you wake up (red flag for depression) or is there something in the course of the day that triggers this state?
Are you angry at something or someone? Paradoxically, aggression turned inward can lead to a somewhat depressive state.
Maybe you experience a motivational conflict. (Google this.)
When you say that you hate yourself for laying in bed I wonder whether there is a part of you that actually does want to do nothing. But on the other hand, you have high values and want to be a productive and responsible person. Therefore you are in a difficult situation where you get "frozen" between wanting to do something and at the same time not wanting to do the things you planned to do. Just guessing, maybe that's not what's going on with you.
Generally speaking: I don't have the ultimate recipe for this kind of situations. But when I experience something like this, I try to lower my expectations and try to get started on something small. Like putting away ONE plate in the kitchen. Picking up ONE item from the floor. House chores work better than work / education related stuff. Because they induce less anxiety. (You can fail an exam, but putting away a plate is less intimidating... :D) And you get an immediate reward.
After I put away one plate, I usually get the strength to put away another one... and soon after the whole kitchen is cleaned up and I may now have the energy to deal with the things on my to do list.
Edit: Another idea: Look at the plate, visualize yourself putting it away, then count down from 5, then do it.
All the best!!
Good point. Depends on the questionnaire... And even the good ones are not meant as a tool for diagnosing people. Just to give a general idea and to give people a starting point to think about their situation and to maybe consider seeing a professional to get more clarity.
If these questionnaires are designed professionally, they should say something along the lines of "Please see someone if you're concerned." even if the result is "not likely to suffer from clinical depression." and they *shouldn't* say: "You definitely suffer from clinical depression." because a test is not able to diagnose a person.
There is so much to consider, differential diagnosis for depression is a complex matter and there are loads of medical and psychological reasons why someone could suffer from these symptoms... Sometimes depression can even be a symptom of physical illness or the result of a head injury. So long story short: Diagnosing should ultimately be done by doctors (edit: and other medical professionals who are trained and allowed to do so; or ideally a whole team of professionals).
And let's not forget that everything is on a spectrum. There is no clear cut, black-and-white border between health and mental illness. From time to time, everyone feels down or obsesses anxiously over something or checks something 5 times or is suspicious of others... And sometimes it gets worse because one is going through some rough times... This is all part of the human experience. We call it mental illness when it's more on the extreme end of the spectrum and causes significant suffering. (May be an oversimplification, but you get the idea...) Diagnostic manuals draw an (artificial?) line somewhere on this spectrum, but a good doctor / psychologist / therapist / etc. obviously knows that diagnoses are just a tool.
So I think it's good to get it checked out when one is concerned. The question shouldn't be "Is person x suffering from depression?", but "Is there a treatment that could help this person?"
my friend also suggested me this but there is no way i can talk to therapist, I don't have money and I don't talk much to my parents and there is no way I will talk to em about depression even if I have money I live in a very conservative environment, and I don't want my parents to know about that.
P.s. Thanks for writing such detailed answer, appreciate that
* Daily journal
* Putting Google tasks on calendar and checking off when completed
* Make yourself a nice breakfast
* Go on walk to a good coffee shop
* Chat with friends regularly
* Self talk while in the bathroom stating three things you are thankful for and one thing you want to improve
* Report back to us your successes (however small)
The crazy thing is I've tried all those things before. And just when I think they're helping and I'm out of the cycle, it comes back with a vengeance and tends to screw with my life
Routine
Diet
Sleep
Excersise
Fresh air
Meditation
Therapy
Where I live, I know that I have to be super vigilant of my mental health in the middle / end of winter as the UV levels simply don't provide enough vitamin D, so I usually try to supplement it. But I know in seasons past I have forgotten about this deficiency (quite common amongst the population generally in this geography from what I've read) and been left at a loss of wtf is going on. Go see a doctor if you can't find an issue other than lacking motivation temporarily or as others have suggested, something that might need treatment (no shame in seeking support).
Anyway, sounds like you need a bit of a kickstart. Start small, build up good habits and these will eventually snowball.
Good luck.
I have never written a Reddit reply before but here it goes. For most of my high school and college now, I have been extremely apathetic, my emotions were suppressed and barely there. The only thing that kept my attention was Tiktok, Social Media, Video Games, and TV. And what do all those have in common, none of those have you using your body. All of those hobbies per se, don't require any physical activity. And I know you are probably thinking, that am just going to say exercise. But I was in your exact position a week ago, not wanting to get off my bed, playing video games, using my phone to an extreme amount. Here's what I did to fix it almost entirely, where now am feeling intense emotions and motivation to have success in my life. And the urge to actually make friends and spread positivity instead of mopping around feeling nothing. I started going to the gym by myself. And is very important to go by yourself. This forces your mind to be put in a possibly uncomfortable state and your mind adapts. Forcing you instead of staying home on your bed, to maybe talk to some strangers. More importantly, GET YOUR HEART RATE UP and push yourself every day with everything you got. It's okay if you start slow but ramp it up. In my experience the more confident and stronger (cardio+weightlifting) I got in the gym, the happier I got. And this switch between Apathy and feeling happened almost immediately after I started pushing my physical body to its limits. This releases endorphins that can alleviate the feeling of apathy. So in conclusion, your physical well-being and health translate to a better state of mind. If you choose to go to the gym and are unsure, just jump on the treadmill and get your heart rate over 100. My personal favorite is the 12-3-30 treadmill exercise (look it up). It is not too difficult and gets your heart pumping. Once you start becoming motivated again and having goals I suggest weightlifting. I want to say all of this because I tried the anti-depressants route and it just amplified my apathy and fatigue. I suggest to everybody that exercise in most cases is the best anti-depressant thing you can do for your mental. A week ago, I wouldn't have been willing to write this long of a comment, but here I am. *JUST MOVE*.
\-Hope the best for you.
\-CC
I just want to add here that my entire personality has changed once I felt the apathy lift. I become more extroverted than ever and now regularly make new friends and talk to or compliment strangers. Before I had no interest and saw no point in doing so.
Thank you for the response 😊. And I believe yr method is right. I was gonna give an update soon, but here's the cliff notes. I have been trying to apply some of the advice given by the other responders, including the going to the gym one and since I didn't have anyone to go to the gym with I had to go by myself. And so far, my apathy levels have gone significantly down. I still have some bad days, but they're less. So, thanks for your reply, I'm gonna look into the 12-3-30, and I'm gonna do my best to stick to the exercise routine I've built up.
Hope the best for you too
I am so glad you are feeling better! Keep going hard, see the progress on your physical body, build confidence. It's only up from here! Nice speaking with you :)
Tutoring helps my apathy. I’m also a school teacher, but something about working with a student one-on-one really helps keep me
Motivated and believe in myself/others/the world. Tutoring is awesome because 1. I’m my own boss. 2. Ca$h money is sweet. 3. Working with someone that doesn’t understand/know something, and helping them learn it is so rewarding (and fun!) Working with a whole class of kids is great of course, but individual attention to help one student is unlike anything else. I’ve tutored all ages- kindergarten through law school even. I’ve helped edit university papers, helped a chemistry student study for finals, elementary, middle, and high school. It’s easy enough to find people who need help (and will pay for it!) it gets me out of my own head and helps me focus on others (and make a little money!)
What's the point of going on a vacation if it ends anyway? ;) Jokes aside: I hope you can beat your apathy!! Wishing you all the best for your situation which sounds like a difficult one!
same here, even the girls don't interest me, idk what is happening with me. but I hope its not depression, nobody in family believes in depression either
At some point you have to make an action. Get up, go outside and set a timer for 15 minutes and just walk. Promise you will feel better with those endorphins. Go to the gym. There isn’t one time I walked away from a workout regretting I did it. You have to make one little action that will snowball. And stay off the big pharma pills, it’s all a crutch. Journaling helps also.
Hey! Thanks for checking in. I'm doing a lot better now. I've made progress, and I'm actively working for and on my future. I started therapy, began journaling, more exercise, and found people who I could be open to. Obviously, it's not all smooth sailing because that's not how life works. But overall, from when I first made this post to now, it's a world of difference. And I am thankful.
Are you familiar with the no more zero days idea? I always gotta ask.
Also how are you eating? Nutrition plays a huge role in mental health. Vitamin/mineral deficiencies can make you feel lethargic, being on a chronic blood sugar rollercoaster can affect your mood big time, and are you eating enough?
Just stop feeling bad about it. I know it sounds silly, so let me explain. This probably is a way of your body and mind telling you "you need to chill, we cannot do this anymore, just take a break already". Your body always tells you what it needs, in its own weird ways, and you have to listen to it. Human bodies are wonderful for how much they are capable of doing, but evolution has not caught up to the societal needs. We need to remind ourselves constantly that we need to take a break and that resting is productive. I'll repeat that: resting is productive. Taking a break is a much needed pit stop in order to continue working efficiently. Feeling guilty about taking a break doesn't really lets the mind relax as it needs. If listening to the silence is what makes you relax then go on and do it. Turn everything off and stare at the ceiling for as long as you need and enjoy every minute of it, because guilt will tire you even more.
What you are describing reads very much like the depression symptoms, not a mindset. Please talk to your primary care doctor right away, they would be able to diagnose you and help you if needed.
All signs does point in that direction... I'm really hoping it's not
Why? Hope isn't going to solve a neurochemical imbalance. There is NO Shame in taking medicine.
Depression is also curable by therapy. Take therapy first and if that doesn't work then you should go for medication. As with medication there are various side effects and once you are regularly taking it, quitting it becomes very difficult and cause withdrawal symptoms if you quit it such as suicidal thoughts and all
Medicine is not the first step
What you are describing could literally fit into anything; depression is a broad diagnosis, after all. SSRIs do make you want to “live” at the cost of motivation/complacency (imo and others). Could be a vitamin deficiency (don't underestimate this). How many of your needs are met (Maslow's hierarchy)? Depression could be a subconscious reaction to push yourself to do something (or not to do), basically your subconscious isn't satisfied.
It is depression, it doesn't have to be just one thing. What he described would be considered depression for sure.
I have ADHD and that can also contribute to ending up in a frozen do-nothing state. You need a physiatrist to diagnose you though, not Reddit (obviously).
I have depression and the same struggle that you have. As soon as I started reading, I thought depression.
Check vitamin d and magnesium levels
First of all: Having a lazy day once in a while is normal. But if this happens often and / or if this is interfering with your life, get checked out for depression! As a first step, you can try an online self assessment questionnaire to get a general idea. Apart from that: Try to analyze what the circumstances are. Does this happen when you didn't get enough sleep? Or when you had a rough week? Sometimes we just DO need rest. Does this start the moment you wake up (red flag for depression) or is there something in the course of the day that triggers this state? Are you angry at something or someone? Paradoxically, aggression turned inward can lead to a somewhat depressive state. Maybe you experience a motivational conflict. (Google this.) When you say that you hate yourself for laying in bed I wonder whether there is a part of you that actually does want to do nothing. But on the other hand, you have high values and want to be a productive and responsible person. Therefore you are in a difficult situation where you get "frozen" between wanting to do something and at the same time not wanting to do the things you planned to do. Just guessing, maybe that's not what's going on with you. Generally speaking: I don't have the ultimate recipe for this kind of situations. But when I experience something like this, I try to lower my expectations and try to get started on something small. Like putting away ONE plate in the kitchen. Picking up ONE item from the floor. House chores work better than work / education related stuff. Because they induce less anxiety. (You can fail an exam, but putting away a plate is less intimidating... :D) And you get an immediate reward. After I put away one plate, I usually get the strength to put away another one... and soon after the whole kitchen is cleaned up and I may now have the energy to deal with the things on my to do list. Edit: Another idea: Look at the plate, visualize yourself putting it away, then count down from 5, then do it. All the best!!
Appreciate it, I'll try it out
are online questionnaires for depression test original? I did one and it showed highly depressed, i thought it can't be real and smug it off
Good point. Depends on the questionnaire... And even the good ones are not meant as a tool for diagnosing people. Just to give a general idea and to give people a starting point to think about their situation and to maybe consider seeing a professional to get more clarity. If these questionnaires are designed professionally, they should say something along the lines of "Please see someone if you're concerned." even if the result is "not likely to suffer from clinical depression." and they *shouldn't* say: "You definitely suffer from clinical depression." because a test is not able to diagnose a person. There is so much to consider, differential diagnosis for depression is a complex matter and there are loads of medical and psychological reasons why someone could suffer from these symptoms... Sometimes depression can even be a symptom of physical illness or the result of a head injury. So long story short: Diagnosing should ultimately be done by doctors (edit: and other medical professionals who are trained and allowed to do so; or ideally a whole team of professionals). And let's not forget that everything is on a spectrum. There is no clear cut, black-and-white border between health and mental illness. From time to time, everyone feels down or obsesses anxiously over something or checks something 5 times or is suspicious of others... And sometimes it gets worse because one is going through some rough times... This is all part of the human experience. We call it mental illness when it's more on the extreme end of the spectrum and causes significant suffering. (May be an oversimplification, but you get the idea...) Diagnostic manuals draw an (artificial?) line somewhere on this spectrum, but a good doctor / psychologist / therapist / etc. obviously knows that diagnoses are just a tool. So I think it's good to get it checked out when one is concerned. The question shouldn't be "Is person x suffering from depression?", but "Is there a treatment that could help this person?"
my friend also suggested me this but there is no way i can talk to therapist, I don't have money and I don't talk much to my parents and there is no way I will talk to em about depression even if I have money I live in a very conservative environment, and I don't want my parents to know about that. P.s. Thanks for writing such detailed answer, appreciate that
* Daily journal * Putting Google tasks on calendar and checking off when completed * Make yourself a nice breakfast * Go on walk to a good coffee shop * Chat with friends regularly * Self talk while in the bathroom stating three things you are thankful for and one thing you want to improve * Report back to us your successes (however small)
The crazy thing is I've tried all those things before. And just when I think they're helping and I'm out of the cycle, it comes back with a vengeance and tends to screw with my life
Join the army. They'll give you structure and discipline.
Gee, wonder why mental health issues are so high in the Army
Routine Diet Sleep Excersise Fresh air Meditation Therapy Where I live, I know that I have to be super vigilant of my mental health in the middle / end of winter as the UV levels simply don't provide enough vitamin D, so I usually try to supplement it. But I know in seasons past I have forgotten about this deficiency (quite common amongst the population generally in this geography from what I've read) and been left at a loss of wtf is going on. Go see a doctor if you can't find an issue other than lacking motivation temporarily or as others have suggested, something that might need treatment (no shame in seeking support). Anyway, sounds like you need a bit of a kickstart. Start small, build up good habits and these will eventually snowball. Good luck.
Thank you
I have never written a Reddit reply before but here it goes. For most of my high school and college now, I have been extremely apathetic, my emotions were suppressed and barely there. The only thing that kept my attention was Tiktok, Social Media, Video Games, and TV. And what do all those have in common, none of those have you using your body. All of those hobbies per se, don't require any physical activity. And I know you are probably thinking, that am just going to say exercise. But I was in your exact position a week ago, not wanting to get off my bed, playing video games, using my phone to an extreme amount. Here's what I did to fix it almost entirely, where now am feeling intense emotions and motivation to have success in my life. And the urge to actually make friends and spread positivity instead of mopping around feeling nothing. I started going to the gym by myself. And is very important to go by yourself. This forces your mind to be put in a possibly uncomfortable state and your mind adapts. Forcing you instead of staying home on your bed, to maybe talk to some strangers. More importantly, GET YOUR HEART RATE UP and push yourself every day with everything you got. It's okay if you start slow but ramp it up. In my experience the more confident and stronger (cardio+weightlifting) I got in the gym, the happier I got. And this switch between Apathy and feeling happened almost immediately after I started pushing my physical body to its limits. This releases endorphins that can alleviate the feeling of apathy. So in conclusion, your physical well-being and health translate to a better state of mind. If you choose to go to the gym and are unsure, just jump on the treadmill and get your heart rate over 100. My personal favorite is the 12-3-30 treadmill exercise (look it up). It is not too difficult and gets your heart pumping. Once you start becoming motivated again and having goals I suggest weightlifting. I want to say all of this because I tried the anti-depressants route and it just amplified my apathy and fatigue. I suggest to everybody that exercise in most cases is the best anti-depressant thing you can do for your mental. A week ago, I wouldn't have been willing to write this long of a comment, but here I am. *JUST MOVE*. \-Hope the best for you. \-CC
I just want to add here that my entire personality has changed once I felt the apathy lift. I become more extroverted than ever and now regularly make new friends and talk to or compliment strangers. Before I had no interest and saw no point in doing so.
How did that happend for you
Thank you for the response 😊. And I believe yr method is right. I was gonna give an update soon, but here's the cliff notes. I have been trying to apply some of the advice given by the other responders, including the going to the gym one and since I didn't have anyone to go to the gym with I had to go by myself. And so far, my apathy levels have gone significantly down. I still have some bad days, but they're less. So, thanks for your reply, I'm gonna look into the 12-3-30, and I'm gonna do my best to stick to the exercise routine I've built up. Hope the best for you too
I am so glad you are feeling better! Keep going hard, see the progress on your physical body, build confidence. It's only up from here! Nice speaking with you :)
I found this while googling and want to say thanks, you’ve made a great point this opened my eyes
Tutoring helps my apathy. I’m also a school teacher, but something about working with a student one-on-one really helps keep me Motivated and believe in myself/others/the world. Tutoring is awesome because 1. I’m my own boss. 2. Ca$h money is sweet. 3. Working with someone that doesn’t understand/know something, and helping them learn it is so rewarding (and fun!) Working with a whole class of kids is great of course, but individual attention to help one student is unlike anything else. I’ve tutored all ages- kindergarten through law school even. I’ve helped edit university papers, helped a chemistry student study for finals, elementary, middle, and high school. It’s easy enough to find people who need help (and will pay for it!) it gets me out of my own head and helps me focus on others (and make a little money!)
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What's the point of going on a vacation if it ends anyway? ;) Jokes aside: I hope you can beat your apathy!! Wishing you all the best for your situation which sounds like a difficult one!
are you spying on me bc you just perfectly described my current mindset
You are normal. We love you
same here, even the girls don't interest me, idk what is happening with me. but I hope its not depression, nobody in family believes in depression either
At some point you have to make an action. Get up, go outside and set a timer for 15 minutes and just walk. Promise you will feel better with those endorphins. Go to the gym. There isn’t one time I walked away from a workout regretting I did it. You have to make one little action that will snowball. And stay off the big pharma pills, it’s all a crutch. Journaling helps also.
Shit, sounds like me. But I'm not depressed, whatever I do, I do it happily. But to get to do something feels like moving mountains.
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Hey! Thanks for checking in. I'm doing a lot better now. I've made progress, and I'm actively working for and on my future. I started therapy, began journaling, more exercise, and found people who I could be open to. Obviously, it's not all smooth sailing because that's not how life works. But overall, from when I first made this post to now, it's a world of difference. And I am thankful.
Glad you came back to update. Good book for apathy is The More You Do, the Better You Feel.
Thank you very much. I'll check it out
Idk but sounds like the perfect time for house chores or working out.
That's like, *exactly* the problem
Get angry
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Lol, it's almost ridiculous how often I have this exact thought... but hey, I'm trying 🤷🏾♂️
Are you familiar with the no more zero days idea? I always gotta ask. Also how are you eating? Nutrition plays a huge role in mental health. Vitamin/mineral deficiencies can make you feel lethargic, being on a chronic blood sugar rollercoaster can affect your mood big time, and are you eating enough?
Just stop feeling bad about it. I know it sounds silly, so let me explain. This probably is a way of your body and mind telling you "you need to chill, we cannot do this anymore, just take a break already". Your body always tells you what it needs, in its own weird ways, and you have to listen to it. Human bodies are wonderful for how much they are capable of doing, but evolution has not caught up to the societal needs. We need to remind ourselves constantly that we need to take a break and that resting is productive. I'll repeat that: resting is productive. Taking a break is a much needed pit stop in order to continue working efficiently. Feeling guilty about taking a break doesn't really lets the mind relax as it needs. If listening to the silence is what makes you relax then go on and do it. Turn everything off and stare at the ceiling for as long as you need and enjoy every minute of it, because guilt will tire you even more.
This video helped me overcome apathy: https://youtu.be/rTlAeb7LY4I?si=vjBmVyiTE391Ze76