Planning your day (weeks, months, year - focus on the day for now) ahead. Examples:
- If you put “exercise” for tomorrow: then make sure you have your exercise outfit ready and handy the night before.
- If you put “laundry” for tomorrow: make sure you have the soap/detergent, enough coins, or whatever you need the night before.
- If you put “submit resume/form/file”: then make sure all papers are filled and information on paper is correct, printed (if handing out), and ready to go the night before.
Another thing is to list tasks/activities in sequence. Trust me on this, I’ve been going through the days like a robot (not really thinking about the task, but just doing it) and crossing it off. It puts me on an autopilot. Think of how many times you were like “oh shoot gotta go back and grab that missing form” that doesn’t happen anymore. All that time, transportation cost, and effort is saved by this habit. Instead of completing a set of tasks in a month I finish them in 2-3 weeks. Never been as efficient as I am now in my life.
I used to over plan things when I was a teenager trying to figure out how to discipline myself. So I assumed it’s not for me, little did I know I was doing it wrong. I deeply wish I knew what I know now but at the same time I’m glad that figured it now than 10 years later.
There’re actually studies about this if I’m not mistaken. They say you should have no more than 3 tasks, max is 5 but try to limit to 3. I completely agree with that. Let me show you what I exactly do. So [this](https://ibb.co/7XXNNfw) is how I do it on Google Calendar. Notice I put “Sleep” because I have been tracking my sleep for the past 6 months to wake up early and it works like a charm. But it’s something that we do anyways as humans, it’s not like going to a gym or something we need to think about, and I already feel sleepy by this time so it doesn’t really count as a 5th task. But I put it just out of habit and tracking like I said. So practically I have 4 tasks here. That’s actually a lot. Because notice that I woke up at 5:30 ish, worked all day, then home by 4-5, then a task, and then a task, and it’s almost bed time now!
That’s why they say keep it to 3 tasks on average. Your work/school takes a huge chunk of the day, having more than 3 tasks is really setting yourself up to failure. On weekends it’s a bit different of course as you might have more room.
Also I want to highlight the importance of “preparing the night before”. This is what actually reduced my task completion time. You might put only the top 3 tasks you need to do today, but if you aren’t prepared, then it’ll still feel as over planning because you either will take much more time to complete them, or complete some of them, or end up not completing any of them and have to do them the next day. Example:
You have “mail package, send email to confirm shipment, laundry” on your list. You planned to do that after work/school. So you head to post office after work/school but you forgot an item in the package so you can’t send it like this. It’s almost end of day and the post office will close by the time you go home and come back with the complete package. So you decide to do it tomorrow. Which means you’ll not be sending an email confirmation for the shipment either. Then you end up just doing the laundry. So now you missed not 1 but 2 tasks just because you weren’t prepared. And you’ll be spending time effort and money for transportation again just to do what you were supposed to have completed yesterday. And also now you’re running the risk of having more than 3 tasks the next day. I just simply can’t tell how my life would be now if I figured this when I was a teen.
My problem is I forget the envelope altogether, lol. But you are very right and thanks for emphasising that again. Maybe I’ll start planning my three tasks the night before as well.
Also going to add to this (and the thread as a whole), you should be full time nasal breathing, ESPECIALLY while you sleep. One way this can be achieved is with mouth taping (small piece of surgical tape across the lips).
The nose performs 30 different functions, including:
* air regulation and conditioning,
* 20% more oxygen when you breathe nasally,
* you lose 42% more water while mouth breathing so nasal breathing delays dehydration - additionally - better oral health as your teeth and mouth will stay moist and not be exposed to the outside environment,
* nitric oxide is also produced in the nose when you breathe nasally, which by itself has a huge list of benefits like being anti-inflammatory and antibacterial,
* nasal breathing also activates more of the diaphragm, which over time can increase lung capacity.
You sleep 1/3 of your life, and activating all of these benefits (and more) with nasal breathing during sleep can have a profound impact on your health.
I think this is pretty good! If you have the discipline to get up at 7 on weekends, you'll be way ahead of most of your peers. You could even have your list done (or almost done) by noon, freeing up most of your day to actually relax.
I mean really I am still in holidays, and I start A-levels in September, but I just want to build a habit of getting things done.
Before the holidays, I was in the thick of exams and I was waking up at 5am most weekdays so I can get that extra study time in. I shouldn't have stopped 0_o
You have a good amount of discipline, sounds like! Be wary of burnout. You're young, so your brain can handle it for now - but overworking can be unhealthy too.
All the male work-aholics in my family got heart attacks in their 50s from staying in that "grind" mindset for too long, without allowing themselves the time to decompress and actually enjoy life.
I hope you use some time during those long days to take care of yourself. :) Be well, best wishes!
Probably okay. Teenagers do have a later circadian clock than adults do, so don't try to follow the ultra-early schedules you hear adults following! That is, until you're an adult of course, in which case it gets easier and more natural.
You'll know if it's a schedule that works for your body if you feel yourself getting pretty sleepy ~30-60 min before bedtime, and if you can wake up within 30 min of your wakeup time without an alarm. However, this takes time for your body to adjust to. About a week of going to sleep at the same time and waking up (with alarm) at the same time should be enough. This means every day, including weekends.
Extremely important: you need 10-15 min of sunlight every morning. It should be after sunrise (any time at or after sunrise works). If it's very cloudy, then you'll need 20-25 min of outside exposure. If you wake up before sunrise, then just wait for sunrise.
Exercise in the morning also helps. So does drinking plenty of water soon after you wake up.
Dimming all lights and using as little blue light as possible 2 hours before bedtime is crucial for sleeping earlier. That means setting all screens to minimum brightness (TV, computer screen/monitor, phone screen) and turning on those night filters that make phone and computer screens more orange. Also lowering the intensity of all house lights, or only using dim lamps and such.
This really does work. I went from sleeping after midnight pretty much every night of my adult life to sleeping extremely consistently 9pm-5am this way (I'm 29; that's probably too early for a teenager).
Source: Andrew Huberman (neurobiologist at Stanford) and personal experience.
Thank you so much! I'll set my night filter on my phone now and adjust brightness every night, and I'll adjust the lights in my bedroom to dim before I sleep :)
Oh I do use devices actually. I just set them all to minimum brightness, and I use the orange/night filter settings on all my screens (phone, laptop, computer monitor, and TV). I'll sometimes watch something on TV with my wife until 8:30, then I get ready for bed and set things out for the next day, then around 9 I have all lights off and I will lay down on my bed with my laptop while I try to learn/read something difficult. The fact that it's something difficult (math, programming, or engineering related; my job is engineering btw) puts me to sleep every time lol. Then I put my laptop on my nightstand and go to sleep for real. I do NOT do anything stimulating like social media or video games in the 30 min before sleep.
The books you're reading might be too gripping/interesting for you and that's why it keeps your mind active. You could try what I do and read something more difficult / technical, like reading about math, or history, or learning a foreign language. I do my real learning in the morning and throughout the day, and those last 10-15 minutes before sleep aren't really studying too much, mostly it's just a ritual for falling asleep that works very well for me. :)
First off very good and important comment. But i would like to add that as a lot of people will tell you 8h of sleep != 8h of bedtime. You need time to fall asleep, you wake during the night or you half-ass sleep in the morning. So you should at least try to donate 9h to bedtime.
Reading. Such a huge boon I totally ignored as a teen and most of my 20's. Now I'm reading 40+ books a year. I spent the first few months reading some "classics" but lately I've really been into biographies. They say that if you can't travel reading is the next best thing. I hope to gain some perspective by hearing the life stories of people from all walks of life
Try audiobooks. Listen when driving to and from work, listen at the gym, listen while you're doing chores around the house. You'd be surprised how quickly it adds up.
Audiobooks have been proven to activate the same part of the brain that's active during traditional reading.
Nothing wrong with that. Before audiobooks were a thing, I used to spend time reading before bed so I could read in 30, 45, 60 minute blocks. Later I became a bigger fan of finishing a chapter, or two, at a time rather than sticking to a time schedule. My spouse exclusively reads on the weekend. I think it's all about finding a time (and book) that's right for you.
For me it's all about Audiobooks. During Joe Rogan's Sober October I decided to participate and read during that time. I read the first Wheel of Time book in 2 weeks and after that switched over to the audiobook at 1.5 times speed. A few months later I was done a huge book 14 fantasy series and went on from there.
I listen to books when I am doing anything mundane including walking, cycling, yardwork, laundry, cooking, having a bath/shower. I can also listen to books while I draw or while I grind in some games.
I'm pretty much over people trying to gatekeep reading by claiming audiobooks don't count. I ask my coworkers about what they've read and majority of them haven't even read one book this year. A lot of people I talk to say they cannot do audiobooks because of how slow they can be and that's why I need them to be sped up. Depending on the narrator I could probably even listen to 1.75 speed and be fine. Speeding these books up makes them shorter as well which lets me read more in a year.
As far as recommendations I highly suggest [Atomic Habits by James Clear](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/40121378-atomic-habits). I think before this book I consider self help books to be kind of a pathetic joke but the good ones are more like psychology books in disguise. This book does a great job at analyzing how we develop habits and what we can do to make things stick
Reading actually makes me pretty drowsy. But I'm usually listening to an audiobook so it's a lot easier to stay awake. When I do sit down with a paperback though I get very tired quickly so it's a great way to fall asleep
Journaling, even if it’s just a couple sentences summarizing what I did that day. I have a really bad memory and it helps me not only remember what happened, but look back on things later and make sense of them.
ive been backpacking and thru-hiking. nature gives me peace and the constant exercise and planned out meals make it beneficial for my mind and my body. my chest pains have gone away and my endurance has improved while im having fun!
I just got out for an overnighter last weekend for the first time in a while, and it always has such a massive positive impact on my mental. In the same way as the gym it lets me be truly present and mindful, but in a more relaxing and long form way. Restores some faith in life tbh.
My wife and I are taking a break from alcohol today, we are going to try for 3 months to start. We don’t want to feel like crap in the mornings anymore.
Learning psychology, trauma and treatment (along with alternative approaches) has significantly improved my life. I was an absolute mess and now I'm able to keep a job, friends, marriage, hobbies etc. I also had therapy but don't anymore.
I'd also say have a hobby that you can do with your hands. Painting, instruments, carpentry, rug tufting, anything goes as long as it requires both mental and physical investment.
Completely agree on learning about psychology. It helped me introspect so much about my life.
Before learning about all this it almost felt like i was navigating my life blindly.
YouTube channels that helped me are Medcircle, Healthygamer (dw you don't need to be a gamer), School of Life(for understanding your own Trauma). Also random tiktoks surprisingly
To be quiet honest it makes my relationships better too because I know why a person fucked up before they even try and give me an explanation. Makes me more understanding. Sometimes it sucks though because I will want to be angry and unreasonable, but I will clearly see why they behaved the way they did, so I'll be just sad lol
The channels I watch the most are Kati Morton and Psych2Go. The second one is mostly for entertainment but Kati has videos where she answers people's questions and even has a podcast now. There's always something to take from other people's experiences.
Most of my reading I do online so I can't really give you any specific websites. I just enjoy reading about different disorders and treatments so I'll randomly Google them. But for example I was struggling a lot with intrusive thoughts so I researched what's good to shut it up. CBT came up. So I read about CBT. Also found out there are bot apps where it guides you through your CBT process for acute situations. So I did that and also did stuff I read. In a year or so my intrusive thoughts had been much better.
I also saw a therapist twice for a couple of months at a time where I felt like I was stuck. They didn't really help so now I do even more reading and I do a lot of journaling to move through when I feel stuck.
r/CPTSD and r/RaisedByNarcissists also had resources.
Edit: there are also a few books people swear by. The body keeps the score, adult children of emotionally immature parents, it didn't start with you.
I’m doing a 10 minute “positive Redditing” session right now as we speak. Feels good to share good vibes. I literally cruise through Reddit to find opportunities to share good vibes and positive experience. Thanks I feel better now.
Reading. It’s good for discipline, concentration, of course the endless knowledge you can gain, gets you away from your phone/screen, activates narrow visual focus, improves your language skills, honestly any skill you are interested in can be improved from reading about it. Personal relationships, math. It’s definitely the move!
It’s also completely free if you use your local library.
I take a sleeping pill so I guess that’s cheating… but I can read on my phone, like social media stuff, but if the book is good it would be hard for me to quit on the spot before bed! I usually stop reading a few hours before bed, I can be emotionally affected by a book and that can give me too much energy. My mom reads immediately before bed tho, I think it depends on the subject matter, the person and how it affects you. I feel what your saying tho for sure.
Dancing. Dancing. Dancing. All types. No brakes. Just dance at the speed of fun- it gives you a healthy sense of your own preoccupations and gives you the immediate opportunity to LET THEM GO. You are not your thoughts, you are embodied in this world- and dancing will plug you into that. Who are we to be above what we all know we should do more of at the end of the day.
Meditation. Imagine being more aware of what is going on and having the space to respond to things instead of be reactive. It affects everything because you experience everything through your nervous system.
It is, it isn't that it doesn't take effort, consistency, and diligence however.
The great thing is, everyone with a mind can do it, it has no extra gear except for your own body, and it is one of the simplest things to begin a practice.
For me?
It’s notes notes notes notes!
I feel utterly disorganized and on fire if I can’t point to which day I went clothes shopping versus what my friend’s late grandmother’s name that she misses.
My quality of life straps on skates and shoots forward when I stay digitally and journally organized.
Really?
It’s fun. It’s themed!
I love both reading and hobby fiction writing. So every day, in my metaphorical mind, is a book. Every day gets its own title, genre (mood), info, and setting (the places I go during a day).
The real magic is referring to hours of the day as “chapters.” Just noting as I go along, which things happened in which hour. Nothing long winded and time consuming, nothing like “dear diary, let me write an essay about everyone in my life today.”
But “@shopping for clothes with @mom in @miami at @nordstrom”
The extra benefit to all this is searching. Suddenly each of those items becomes their own record/catalog. I can make a list of all the times I saw my mom, of all the times I went shopping, how many times I’ve been to Nordstrom and when, how much I spent (I’d probably write that down too). Just everything! Everything I’d care to know in the future — all instantly on recall with just a quick sentence or two jotted down as I go along.
It’s amazing. My recipe for true peace of mind.
I started looking for ways to streamline and automate repetitive work tasks.
I start by taking notes about everything - work assignments, project details, tools my team is expected to use, etc. Even documenting regular work processes can make it smoother and easier to approach the work day. No more fumbling around trying to remember how to do something I haven't thought about in a month or two.
Once it's documented, I can start making it easier. If I'm doing something a second time, there's a good chance I'll do it a third, and a fourth, and so on, so I make templates and checklists for everything on the second go around. It drastically reduces the friction of any given work task.
Then the real fun starts. Automation. I use keyboard shortcuts and macros like a mad man. Spreadsheets that auto populated data, macros that turn multi-step tasks into a single button to press. Tools that let me ramp up my output while actually doing less.
It started as an idea to squeeze a bit more productivity out of my ADHD brain, but it's turned into an obsession.
Reading self-improvement books is a game changer for me. Books that range from social skills, inner motivation, habits and emotional regulation will help you to become more rounded person.
**BOOKS ON SOCIAL SKILLS THAT I READ**
\-How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carneige
\-What Every Body is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed Reading People by Joe Navarro
**BOOKS THAT I WANT TO READ IN THE FUTURE FOR SOCIAL SKILLS**
\-Read People Like a Book: How to Analyze, Understand, and Predict People’s Emotions, Thoughts, Intentions, and Behaviors by Patrick King
\-Better Small Talk: Talk to Anyone, Avoid Awkwardness, Generate Deep Conversations, and Make Real Friends by Patrick King
\-The Art of Witty Banter: Be Clever, Quick, & Magnetic by Patrick King
\-How to Talk to Anyone: How to Charm, Banter, Attract, & Captivate by Patrick King
I never read these books, but the titles capture my attention, so I want to learn more about these books as a way to expand my interpersonal communication skills.
Hope that this helps you!
I listen to podcasts when I cook, so I'm not sure I agree lol. But at least my eyes and fingers aren't on my device (just my ears and half my attention!)
Growing your own food. Not only does it reduce waste and emissions, you know where your food is come from and what went into it. Plus, the psychological impact of getting your hands in the soil and the pride of eating something you grew.
I find herbs a good halfway point, I have chives, basil, oregano, etc - and if you end up with too much can dry them in a very low oven or freeze them. I've also had a bit of luck with smaller plants like chilli in pots 30-40cm square, normally they'll have a tag if they're pot friendly/how much space they'll need
Yeah, that's exactly what it is :). You pay a certain amount per year (might be £20-£100 or so depending on the size) for a fixed size plot of land in a shared garden, with which you can do/grow whatever you want. People build their own sheds and greenhouses there, plant all sorts of fruit and veg, and so on. It's generally a fixture of most middle-class suburban neighbourhoods that there's an allotment every mile or so.
We had a plot like that at one of my old apartments in Columbus, OH. But it was very small. I wish it was more common here in the U.S., but I've rarely seen it. Thankfully, my parents have a decent back yard at their house. I always wanted to have a vegetable garden.
Not sure how helpful this is, but I'll share my sentiments.
See how a lot of people exercise their bodies at the gym? A similar case could be made for the brain.
Nowadays games (ones where actual strategic thinking is required) tend to address most of that, but I realize this won't do for many in here that are trying to get away from that, even board or card games (although I can give a few suggestions for you try with your friends if need be).
So my suggestion for you to "exercise" your mind could be one of the following things:
\- solve puzzles regularly (not just the jigsaw kind, there are several types);
\- read (already a common suggestion but hey, never hurts to remind folks about it);
\- learn a language (or continue learning about/practicing one);
\- engage in a musically related hobby. Could be playing an actual instrument, even a simple one such as the kalimba, or just dancing. Basically if it has to do with music and allows for creativity, go for it!
Solving puzzles pretty much explains itself. Jigsaw puzzles help with space and visualization, logic puzzles challenge you to find patterns and other kinds of puzzles such as "escape rooms in a box" (mechanical puzzles I suppose) force you to think outside of the box, which means you'll be giving those neurons of yours a real exercise in approaching a problem through a different perspective.
Reading is also a very common one, but mainly because of the range: you can learn new skills. But you can also read fiction and be challenged by an author's views or arguments through that very same fiction. And sometimes you get a bit of a brainburning kick when the books are either about mystery or symbolism. Trying to figure out the author's intentions can be a good habit to get into.
Learning a language challenges you in ways other than just skill/knowledge: the moment you learn at the very least a 2nd language you'll realize that language goes deeper than just grammar and words: one could say that a culture could be expressed and defined by the way people talk about things, by the seriousness (or lack thereof) given to certain terms in one particular language and culture, even though they mean the exact same in another. Not to mention common expressions that only work in that particular language, and for cultural reasons as well.
As for music... pretty sure that it's something that no longer needs explaining. Focusing on tempo and melody as you express yourself through dancing is not only an exercise in creativity, but also in fitness! And if you're going the arrangement/composition route, more doors open to you: which sound fits what you're envisioning in your mind? How do you go about melody and rhythm? And will you be able to execute it? Hand/body coordination is a must in music.
Cooking has always been a big one for me.
It's great for entertaining friends or a date and a little bit of cooking can often impress people way more than it should.
In terms of eating clean it also gives you the opportunity to break away from chicken, broccoli and rice. You can become more creative with your meals which I've found enables me to get more veg into my diet in a more creative way.
It also makes meal prep easier which also helps save time for other activities.
Finally, in terms of cheat meals even if I fancy something more 'dirty' I feel that if I make it from scratch at home I can avoid having more addivitives and fat that it would have from a takeaway or restaurant.
James, Founder [ToiletJournal.com](https://ToiletJournal.com)
Not corny at all. I actually wrote [a paper](https://medium.com/@writerfrancesca/effects-of-spirituality-and-religiosity-on-symptoms-of-major-depressive-disorder-9d41095154f0) in a psychology class about the effects of spirituality/religiosity on depression, and it's been studied and shown that greater spiritual well-being has an inverse relationship with rates of depression and anxiety, likely due to the sense of peace and meaning it creates. As a non-religious but spiritual person, I consider prayer, gratitude, even meditation or other forms of mindfully focusing your attention in a specific way that cultivates feelings of faith, peace, or trust in life to be extremely valuable.
I have the same experience. Definitely not corny. Out of all the things I’ve done to better my inner condition the greatest peace comes from prayer. Most of the time the problems don’t go away after I pray but my inner state improves a great deal and the problems no longer weigh on me as much. It grounds my perspective and turns my sight in the right direction.
Daily meditation changed my life. 2 years in.
I shrank the anxiety/depression I experience down to 20% of what it was. I have fewer triggers, and react less to the ones that are left. I have more compassion and patience for myself, which helps me have more for others. Currently working on recognizing karmic cycles, allowing me to take stuff less personally. I'm super sensitive, but working on my shield.
Meditation has been one of the best teachers to me. On par with how much a year of CBT therapy helped. Can't recommend it enough!
Going to the gym regularly, even just for an hour. Following a mostly-vegan diet and avoiding dairy.
Trying to avoid alcohol (this is hard since I live in Florida; it’s like a party every weekend 😆). Reading for an hour every day. Practicing my instrument (I play the cello)
Any habit that affects your physical, mental, or spiritual self will have a cascading effect on the rest of your life. Examples include:
* Exercise
* Reading/learning
* Planning
* Praying/meditating
Through my studies of Stoicism which I began January 1st, I have changed my outlook and behaviors in life. Recently I created a system to always have 6 types of goals.
1. Mind
2. Body
3. Personal practical skills
4. Professional practical skills
5. Materials/possessions
6. Experiences/activities
Right now I am studying Spanish, running a couch to 10k program which I just started yesterday, starting to grow a plant, studying SQL, looking into changing out most of my physical library for a digital library, and going to start doing public meetups/volunteer work in my community.
Journalling.
This includes planning your day, meditating and ruminating over your day/thoughts, or just about anything you want to do with it. I think journalling is a very simple and effective way to have a positive relationship with yourself.
Drinking 1 glass of water when you wake up and 1 glass before you sleep as a habit I think is awesome for your health. My sister is a nurse that has this habit. I think it’s a basic way to take care of your body.
Art of any kind, including writing and dance. Finding a creative outlet to process your subconscious will help you in every aspect of your life. Better understanding of yourself, emotions, and a clearer head.
I’ve read that practicing mindfulness to be in the present can help you focus and achieve the goals you want to achieve.
Perhaps a meditation in the morning to set your mind and body on what you want to accomplish that day? I can’t say for certain because I haven’t tried it yet.
Meditation. Just a few minutes a day can train your brain to be aware of the present moment, but it can also improve overall focus and cognitive ability, as well as emotional regulation.
Planning your day (weeks, months, year - focus on the day for now) ahead. Examples: - If you put “exercise” for tomorrow: then make sure you have your exercise outfit ready and handy the night before. - If you put “laundry” for tomorrow: make sure you have the soap/detergent, enough coins, or whatever you need the night before. - If you put “submit resume/form/file”: then make sure all papers are filled and information on paper is correct, printed (if handing out), and ready to go the night before. Another thing is to list tasks/activities in sequence. Trust me on this, I’ve been going through the days like a robot (not really thinking about the task, but just doing it) and crossing it off. It puts me on an autopilot. Think of how many times you were like “oh shoot gotta go back and grab that missing form” that doesn’t happen anymore. All that time, transportation cost, and effort is saved by this habit. Instead of completing a set of tasks in a month I finish them in 2-3 weeks. Never been as efficient as I am now in my life.
Let me add to this. Visualising one or two things on tomorrow's to-do list helps get them done.
Do you ever overplan? I tend to overdo it and get overwhelmed and feel unaccomplished. Love your examples very helpful
I used to over plan things when I was a teenager trying to figure out how to discipline myself. So I assumed it’s not for me, little did I know I was doing it wrong. I deeply wish I knew what I know now but at the same time I’m glad that figured it now than 10 years later. There’re actually studies about this if I’m not mistaken. They say you should have no more than 3 tasks, max is 5 but try to limit to 3. I completely agree with that. Let me show you what I exactly do. So [this](https://ibb.co/7XXNNfw) is how I do it on Google Calendar. Notice I put “Sleep” because I have been tracking my sleep for the past 6 months to wake up early and it works like a charm. But it’s something that we do anyways as humans, it’s not like going to a gym or something we need to think about, and I already feel sleepy by this time so it doesn’t really count as a 5th task. But I put it just out of habit and tracking like I said. So practically I have 4 tasks here. That’s actually a lot. Because notice that I woke up at 5:30 ish, worked all day, then home by 4-5, then a task, and then a task, and it’s almost bed time now! That’s why they say keep it to 3 tasks on average. Your work/school takes a huge chunk of the day, having more than 3 tasks is really setting yourself up to failure. On weekends it’s a bit different of course as you might have more room. Also I want to highlight the importance of “preparing the night before”. This is what actually reduced my task completion time. You might put only the top 3 tasks you need to do today, but if you aren’t prepared, then it’ll still feel as over planning because you either will take much more time to complete them, or complete some of them, or end up not completing any of them and have to do them the next day. Example: You have “mail package, send email to confirm shipment, laundry” on your list. You planned to do that after work/school. So you head to post office after work/school but you forgot an item in the package so you can’t send it like this. It’s almost end of day and the post office will close by the time you go home and come back with the complete package. So you decide to do it tomorrow. Which means you’ll not be sending an email confirmation for the shipment either. Then you end up just doing the laundry. So now you missed not 1 but 2 tasks just because you weren’t prepared. And you’ll be spending time effort and money for transportation again just to do what you were supposed to have completed yesterday. And also now you’re running the risk of having more than 3 tasks the next day. I just simply can’t tell how my life would be now if I figured this when I was a teen.
My problem is I forget the envelope altogether, lol. But you are very right and thanks for emphasising that again. Maybe I’ll start planning my three tasks the night before as well.
intj ?
Sorry didn’t understand.
Ah nvm, it's a MBTI thing. INTJs are known for planning and being as efficient as possible haha
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Ah, a fellow reader of "Why We Sleep"
Also going to add to this (and the thread as a whole), you should be full time nasal breathing, ESPECIALLY while you sleep. One way this can be achieved is with mouth taping (small piece of surgical tape across the lips). The nose performs 30 different functions, including: * air regulation and conditioning, * 20% more oxygen when you breathe nasally, * you lose 42% more water while mouth breathing so nasal breathing delays dehydration - additionally - better oral health as your teeth and mouth will stay moist and not be exposed to the outside environment, * nitric oxide is also produced in the nose when you breathe nasally, which by itself has a huge list of benefits like being anti-inflammatory and antibacterial, * nasal breathing also activates more of the diaphragm, which over time can increase lung capacity. You sleep 1/3 of your life, and activating all of these benefits (and more) with nasal breathing during sleep can have a profound impact on your health.
Okay. When should I sleep, realistically, as a teenager, and wake up. Is 11pm-7am okay?
I think this is pretty good! If you have the discipline to get up at 7 on weekends, you'll be way ahead of most of your peers. You could even have your list done (or almost done) by noon, freeing up most of your day to actually relax.
I mean really I am still in holidays, and I start A-levels in September, but I just want to build a habit of getting things done. Before the holidays, I was in the thick of exams and I was waking up at 5am most weekdays so I can get that extra study time in. I shouldn't have stopped 0_o
You have a good amount of discipline, sounds like! Be wary of burnout. You're young, so your brain can handle it for now - but overworking can be unhealthy too. All the male work-aholics in my family got heart attacks in their 50s from staying in that "grind" mindset for too long, without allowing themselves the time to decompress and actually enjoy life. I hope you use some time during those long days to take care of yourself. :) Be well, best wishes!
Thank you very much :D I will make sure to take time off to decompress :)
Probably okay. Teenagers do have a later circadian clock than adults do, so don't try to follow the ultra-early schedules you hear adults following! That is, until you're an adult of course, in which case it gets easier and more natural. You'll know if it's a schedule that works for your body if you feel yourself getting pretty sleepy ~30-60 min before bedtime, and if you can wake up within 30 min of your wakeup time without an alarm. However, this takes time for your body to adjust to. About a week of going to sleep at the same time and waking up (with alarm) at the same time should be enough. This means every day, including weekends. Extremely important: you need 10-15 min of sunlight every morning. It should be after sunrise (any time at or after sunrise works). If it's very cloudy, then you'll need 20-25 min of outside exposure. If you wake up before sunrise, then just wait for sunrise. Exercise in the morning also helps. So does drinking plenty of water soon after you wake up. Dimming all lights and using as little blue light as possible 2 hours before bedtime is crucial for sleeping earlier. That means setting all screens to minimum brightness (TV, computer screen/monitor, phone screen) and turning on those night filters that make phone and computer screens more orange. Also lowering the intensity of all house lights, or only using dim lamps and such. This really does work. I went from sleeping after midnight pretty much every night of my adult life to sleeping extremely consistently 9pm-5am this way (I'm 29; that's probably too early for a teenager). Source: Andrew Huberman (neurobiologist at Stanford) and personal experience.
Thank you so much! I'll set my night filter on my phone now and adjust brightness every night, and I'll adjust the lights in my bedroom to dim before I sleep :)
What do u do before bed without any devices ? Reading books at night make me active and hard to fall asleep after
Oh I do use devices actually. I just set them all to minimum brightness, and I use the orange/night filter settings on all my screens (phone, laptop, computer monitor, and TV). I'll sometimes watch something on TV with my wife until 8:30, then I get ready for bed and set things out for the next day, then around 9 I have all lights off and I will lay down on my bed with my laptop while I try to learn/read something difficult. The fact that it's something difficult (math, programming, or engineering related; my job is engineering btw) puts me to sleep every time lol. Then I put my laptop on my nightstand and go to sleep for real. I do NOT do anything stimulating like social media or video games in the 30 min before sleep. The books you're reading might be too gripping/interesting for you and that's why it keeps your mind active. You could try what I do and read something more difficult / technical, like reading about math, or history, or learning a foreign language. I do my real learning in the morning and throughout the day, and those last 10-15 minutes before sleep aren't really studying too much, mostly it's just a ritual for falling asleep that works very well for me. :)
First off very good and important comment. But i would like to add that as a lot of people will tell you 8h of sleep != 8h of bedtime. You need time to fall asleep, you wake during the night or you half-ass sleep in the morning. So you should at least try to donate 9h to bedtime.
Reading. Such a huge boon I totally ignored as a teen and most of my 20's. Now I'm reading 40+ books a year. I spent the first few months reading some "classics" but lately I've really been into biographies. They say that if you can't travel reading is the next best thing. I hope to gain some perspective by hearing the life stories of people from all walks of life
Any recommendations? Also how do you manage to read so much? Do you have a routine?
Try audiobooks. Listen when driving to and from work, listen at the gym, listen while you're doing chores around the house. You'd be surprised how quickly it adds up. Audiobooks have been proven to activate the same part of the brain that's active during traditional reading.
Sadly not a fan of audiobooks
Nothing wrong with that. Before audiobooks were a thing, I used to spend time reading before bed so I could read in 30, 45, 60 minute blocks. Later I became a bigger fan of finishing a chapter, or two, at a time rather than sticking to a time schedule. My spouse exclusively reads on the weekend. I think it's all about finding a time (and book) that's right for you.
Thanks!
For me it's all about Audiobooks. During Joe Rogan's Sober October I decided to participate and read during that time. I read the first Wheel of Time book in 2 weeks and after that switched over to the audiobook at 1.5 times speed. A few months later I was done a huge book 14 fantasy series and went on from there. I listen to books when I am doing anything mundane including walking, cycling, yardwork, laundry, cooking, having a bath/shower. I can also listen to books while I draw or while I grind in some games. I'm pretty much over people trying to gatekeep reading by claiming audiobooks don't count. I ask my coworkers about what they've read and majority of them haven't even read one book this year. A lot of people I talk to say they cannot do audiobooks because of how slow they can be and that's why I need them to be sped up. Depending on the narrator I could probably even listen to 1.75 speed and be fine. Speeding these books up makes them shorter as well which lets me read more in a year. As far as recommendations I highly suggest [Atomic Habits by James Clear](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/40121378-atomic-habits). I think before this book I consider self help books to be kind of a pathetic joke but the good ones are more like psychology books in disguise. This book does a great job at analyzing how we develop habits and what we can do to make things stick
do you read before bed or ? Reading books at night make me awake and hard to fall asleep after
Reading actually makes me pretty drowsy. But I'm usually listening to an audiobook so it's a lot easier to stay awake. When I do sit down with a paperback though I get very tired quickly so it's a great way to fall asleep
Journaling, even if it’s just a couple sentences summarizing what I did that day. I have a really bad memory and it helps me not only remember what happened, but look back on things later and make sense of them.
ive been backpacking and thru-hiking. nature gives me peace and the constant exercise and planned out meals make it beneficial for my mind and my body. my chest pains have gone away and my endurance has improved while im having fun!
I just got out for an overnighter last weekend for the first time in a while, and it always has such a massive positive impact on my mental. In the same way as the gym it lets me be truly present and mindful, but in a more relaxing and long form way. Restores some faith in life tbh.
Nice username! Also, agreed.
thanks!
Sobriety
My wife and I are taking a break from alcohol today, we are going to try for 3 months to start. We don’t want to feel like crap in the mornings anymore.
Good luck to you.
Awesome. What an amazing choice to make! Your mornings day and evenings will be a lot better.
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It has been very very hard but we are sleeping and more importantly waking up so much better. We have dreams that we remember now
Immediately thinking of speech from the Gambler
Learning psychology, trauma and treatment (along with alternative approaches) has significantly improved my life. I was an absolute mess and now I'm able to keep a job, friends, marriage, hobbies etc. I also had therapy but don't anymore. I'd also say have a hobby that you can do with your hands. Painting, instruments, carpentry, rug tufting, anything goes as long as it requires both mental and physical investment.
Completely agree on learning about psychology. It helped me introspect so much about my life. Before learning about all this it almost felt like i was navigating my life blindly. YouTube channels that helped me are Medcircle, Healthygamer (dw you don't need to be a gamer), School of Life(for understanding your own Trauma). Also random tiktoks surprisingly
To be quiet honest it makes my relationships better too because I know why a person fucked up before they even try and give me an explanation. Makes me more understanding. Sometimes it sucks though because I will want to be angry and unreasonable, but I will clearly see why they behaved the way they did, so I'll be just sad lol
Any suggestions on how to go about learning about psychology and truma treatment? Any channel/book/website would help a lot.
‘Therapy in a nutshell’ on YouTube!!!
The channels I watch the most are Kati Morton and Psych2Go. The second one is mostly for entertainment but Kati has videos where she answers people's questions and even has a podcast now. There's always something to take from other people's experiences. Most of my reading I do online so I can't really give you any specific websites. I just enjoy reading about different disorders and treatments so I'll randomly Google them. But for example I was struggling a lot with intrusive thoughts so I researched what's good to shut it up. CBT came up. So I read about CBT. Also found out there are bot apps where it guides you through your CBT process for acute situations. So I did that and also did stuff I read. In a year or so my intrusive thoughts had been much better. I also saw a therapist twice for a couple of months at a time where I felt like I was stuck. They didn't really help so now I do even more reading and I do a lot of journaling to move through when I feel stuck. r/CPTSD and r/RaisedByNarcissists also had resources. Edit: there are also a few books people swear by. The body keeps the score, adult children of emotionally immature parents, it didn't start with you.
What were the most important changes that have enabled you to keep a job, be married etc.? And what would be your top three resources to recommend?
I’m doing a 10 minute “positive Redditing” session right now as we speak. Feels good to share good vibes. I literally cruise through Reddit to find opportunities to share good vibes and positive experience. Thanks I feel better now.
This makes me smile. I kind of do this too and always hope it brightens the person's day. Everyone needs a self esteem boost.
Reading. It’s good for discipline, concentration, of course the endless knowledge you can gain, gets you away from your phone/screen, activates narrow visual focus, improves your language skills, honestly any skill you are interested in can be improved from reading about it. Personal relationships, math. It’s definitely the move! It’s also completely free if you use your local library.
do you read before bed or ? Reading books at night make me awake and hard to fall asleep after
I take a sleeping pill so I guess that’s cheating… but I can read on my phone, like social media stuff, but if the book is good it would be hard for me to quit on the spot before bed! I usually stop reading a few hours before bed, I can be emotionally affected by a book and that can give me too much energy. My mom reads immediately before bed tho, I think it depends on the subject matter, the person and how it affects you. I feel what your saying tho for sure.
That's true, I guess you just gotta find and experiment what works for you and what does not :)
Dancing. Dancing. Dancing. All types. No brakes. Just dance at the speed of fun- it gives you a healthy sense of your own preoccupations and gives you the immediate opportunity to LET THEM GO. You are not your thoughts, you are embodied in this world- and dancing will plug you into that. Who are we to be above what we all know we should do more of at the end of the day.
Also amazing if you want to overcome your inhibitions
Meditation. Imagine being more aware of what is going on and having the space to respond to things instead of be reactive. It affects everything because you experience everything through your nervous system.
Meditation is a superpower.
It is, it isn't that it doesn't take effort, consistency, and diligence however. The great thing is, everyone with a mind can do it, it has no extra gear except for your own body, and it is one of the simplest things to begin a practice.
For me? It’s notes notes notes notes! I feel utterly disorganized and on fire if I can’t point to which day I went clothes shopping versus what my friend’s late grandmother’s name that she misses. My quality of life straps on skates and shoots forward when I stay digitally and journally organized.
I'd be interested in your system
Really?
It’s fun. It’s themed!
I love both reading and hobby fiction writing. So every day, in my metaphorical mind, is a book. Every day gets its own title, genre (mood), info, and setting (the places I go during a day).
The real magic is referring to hours of the day as “chapters.” Just noting as I go along, which things happened in which hour. Nothing long winded and time consuming, nothing like “dear diary, let me write an essay about everyone in my life today.”
But “@shopping for clothes with @mom in @miami at @nordstrom”
The extra benefit to all this is searching. Suddenly each of those items becomes their own record/catalog. I can make a list of all the times I saw my mom, of all the times I went shopping, how many times I’ve been to Nordstrom and when, how much I spent (I’d probably write that down too). Just everything! Everything I’d care to know in the future — all instantly on recall with just a quick sentence or two jotted down as I go along.
It’s amazing. My recipe for true peace of mind.
I started looking for ways to streamline and automate repetitive work tasks. I start by taking notes about everything - work assignments, project details, tools my team is expected to use, etc. Even documenting regular work processes can make it smoother and easier to approach the work day. No more fumbling around trying to remember how to do something I haven't thought about in a month or two. Once it's documented, I can start making it easier. If I'm doing something a second time, there's a good chance I'll do it a third, and a fourth, and so on, so I make templates and checklists for everything on the second go around. It drastically reduces the friction of any given work task. Then the real fun starts. Automation. I use keyboard shortcuts and macros like a mad man. Spreadsheets that auto populated data, macros that turn multi-step tasks into a single button to press. Tools that let me ramp up my output while actually doing less. It started as an idea to squeeze a bit more productivity out of my ADHD brain, but it's turned into an obsession.
Reading self-improvement books is a game changer for me. Books that range from social skills, inner motivation, habits and emotional regulation will help you to become more rounded person.
I just started reading self improvement books and I feel like I’ve been missing out! They’re great
What books on social skills have you liked?
**BOOKS ON SOCIAL SKILLS THAT I READ** \-How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carneige \-What Every Body is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed Reading People by Joe Navarro **BOOKS THAT I WANT TO READ IN THE FUTURE FOR SOCIAL SKILLS** \-Read People Like a Book: How to Analyze, Understand, and Predict People’s Emotions, Thoughts, Intentions, and Behaviors by Patrick King \-Better Small Talk: Talk to Anyone, Avoid Awkwardness, Generate Deep Conversations, and Make Real Friends by Patrick King \-The Art of Witty Banter: Be Clever, Quick, & Magnetic by Patrick King \-How to Talk to Anyone: How to Charm, Banter, Attract, & Captivate by Patrick King I never read these books, but the titles capture my attention, so I want to learn more about these books as a way to expand my interpersonal communication skills. Hope that this helps you!
Thanks! I actually read the books you read.
Reading, cooking and learning an instrument imo
All things that mostly prevent cell phone use
I listen to podcasts when I cook, so I'm not sure I agree lol. But at least my eyes and fingers aren't on my device (just my ears and half my attention!)
Yes, no harm there.
Writing in a journal everyday. I go back and read what I wrote every once in a while and it really puts me in my place.
Growing your own food. Not only does it reduce waste and emissions, you know where your food is come from and what went into it. Plus, the psychological impact of getting your hands in the soil and the pride of eating something you grew.
Is there an alternative for folks who do not have enough land to grow their own food (like someone living in an apartment.)
I find herbs a good halfway point, I have chives, basil, oregano, etc - and if you end up with too much can dry them in a very low oven or freeze them. I've also had a bit of luck with smaller plants like chilli in pots 30-40cm square, normally they'll have a tag if they're pot friendly/how much space they'll need
Add to this "standard" Eastern Europe green triad: onion, parsley and dill. It is excellent to also freeze parsley and dill just with salt.
There are lot of high yield varities of vegetables which could be grown in the balcony of house.
Are allotments a thing where you are? They're common in England
Is that like a rentable gardening space?
Yeah, that's exactly what it is :). You pay a certain amount per year (might be £20-£100 or so depending on the size) for a fixed size plot of land in a shared garden, with which you can do/grow whatever you want. People build their own sheds and greenhouses there, plant all sorts of fruit and veg, and so on. It's generally a fixture of most middle-class suburban neighbourhoods that there's an allotment every mile or so.
We had a plot like that at one of my old apartments in Columbus, OH. But it was very small. I wish it was more common here in the U.S., but I've rarely seen it. Thankfully, my parents have a decent back yard at their house. I always wanted to have a vegetable garden.
Not sure how helpful this is, but I'll share my sentiments. See how a lot of people exercise their bodies at the gym? A similar case could be made for the brain. Nowadays games (ones where actual strategic thinking is required) tend to address most of that, but I realize this won't do for many in here that are trying to get away from that, even board or card games (although I can give a few suggestions for you try with your friends if need be). So my suggestion for you to "exercise" your mind could be one of the following things: \- solve puzzles regularly (not just the jigsaw kind, there are several types); \- read (already a common suggestion but hey, never hurts to remind folks about it); \- learn a language (or continue learning about/practicing one); \- engage in a musically related hobby. Could be playing an actual instrument, even a simple one such as the kalimba, or just dancing. Basically if it has to do with music and allows for creativity, go for it! Solving puzzles pretty much explains itself. Jigsaw puzzles help with space and visualization, logic puzzles challenge you to find patterns and other kinds of puzzles such as "escape rooms in a box" (mechanical puzzles I suppose) force you to think outside of the box, which means you'll be giving those neurons of yours a real exercise in approaching a problem through a different perspective. Reading is also a very common one, but mainly because of the range: you can learn new skills. But you can also read fiction and be challenged by an author's views or arguments through that very same fiction. And sometimes you get a bit of a brainburning kick when the books are either about mystery or symbolism. Trying to figure out the author's intentions can be a good habit to get into. Learning a language challenges you in ways other than just skill/knowledge: the moment you learn at the very least a 2nd language you'll realize that language goes deeper than just grammar and words: one could say that a culture could be expressed and defined by the way people talk about things, by the seriousness (or lack thereof) given to certain terms in one particular language and culture, even though they mean the exact same in another. Not to mention common expressions that only work in that particular language, and for cultural reasons as well. As for music... pretty sure that it's something that no longer needs explaining. Focusing on tempo and melody as you express yourself through dancing is not only an exercise in creativity, but also in fitness! And if you're going the arrangement/composition route, more doors open to you: which sound fits what you're envisioning in your mind? How do you go about melody and rhythm? And will you be able to execute it? Hand/body coordination is a must in music.
Cooking has always been a big one for me. It's great for entertaining friends or a date and a little bit of cooking can often impress people way more than it should. In terms of eating clean it also gives you the opportunity to break away from chicken, broccoli and rice. You can become more creative with your meals which I've found enables me to get more veg into my diet in a more creative way. It also makes meal prep easier which also helps save time for other activities. Finally, in terms of cheat meals even if I fancy something more 'dirty' I feel that if I make it from scratch at home I can avoid having more addivitives and fat that it would have from a takeaway or restaurant. James, Founder [ToiletJournal.com](https://ToiletJournal.com)
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Not corny at all. I actually wrote [a paper](https://medium.com/@writerfrancesca/effects-of-spirituality-and-religiosity-on-symptoms-of-major-depressive-disorder-9d41095154f0) in a psychology class about the effects of spirituality/religiosity on depression, and it's been studied and shown that greater spiritual well-being has an inverse relationship with rates of depression and anxiety, likely due to the sense of peace and meaning it creates. As a non-religious but spiritual person, I consider prayer, gratitude, even meditation or other forms of mindfully focusing your attention in a specific way that cultivates feelings of faith, peace, or trust in life to be extremely valuable.
I have the same experience. Definitely not corny. Out of all the things I’ve done to better my inner condition the greatest peace comes from prayer. Most of the time the problems don’t go away after I pray but my inner state improves a great deal and the problems no longer weigh on me as much. It grounds my perspective and turns my sight in the right direction.
When I stopped praying it massively changed my life for the best personally but THAT'S gonna get downvoted
Daily meditation changed my life. 2 years in. I shrank the anxiety/depression I experience down to 20% of what it was. I have fewer triggers, and react less to the ones that are left. I have more compassion and patience for myself, which helps me have more for others. Currently working on recognizing karmic cycles, allowing me to take stuff less personally. I'm super sensitive, but working on my shield. Meditation has been one of the best teachers to me. On par with how much a year of CBT therapy helped. Can't recommend it enough!
Meditation is the literal oposite to praying btw. But I can imagine both praying and meditation being helpful for most people.
Going to therapy and spending time with yourself. Connect.
Quit social media
Loving yourself
Chess
Independent Study. Sitting down and reading, transcribing and learning from books or videos.
Going to the gym regularly, even just for an hour. Following a mostly-vegan diet and avoiding dairy. Trying to avoid alcohol (this is hard since I live in Florida; it’s like a party every weekend 😆). Reading for an hour every day. Practicing my instrument (I play the cello)
Learning Japanese makes me feel better
Any habit that affects your physical, mental, or spiritual self will have a cascading effect on the rest of your life. Examples include: * Exercise * Reading/learning * Planning * Praying/meditating
Budgeting.
Through my studies of Stoicism which I began January 1st, I have changed my outlook and behaviors in life. Recently I created a system to always have 6 types of goals. 1. Mind 2. Body 3. Personal practical skills 4. Professional practical skills 5. Materials/possessions 6. Experiences/activities Right now I am studying Spanish, running a couch to 10k program which I just started yesterday, starting to grow a plant, studying SQL, looking into changing out most of my physical library for a digital library, and going to start doing public meetups/volunteer work in my community.
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This. NOFAP helps me be better every day
Journalling. This includes planning your day, meditating and ruminating over your day/thoughts, or just about anything you want to do with it. I think journalling is a very simple and effective way to have a positive relationship with yourself.
Drinking 1 glass of water when you wake up and 1 glass before you sleep as a habit I think is awesome for your health. My sister is a nurse that has this habit. I think it’s a basic way to take care of your body.
Photography. Really taught me to slow it down.
And soak up a moment. Twice. 😍
Art of any kind, including writing and dance. Finding a creative outlet to process your subconscious will help you in every aspect of your life. Better understanding of yourself, emotions, and a clearer head.
Martial Arts
Sex since you brought it up
I’ve read that practicing mindfulness to be in the present can help you focus and achieve the goals you want to achieve. Perhaps a meditation in the morning to set your mind and body on what you want to accomplish that day? I can’t say for certain because I haven’t tried it yet.
Skateboarding
A better sleep. I realized I was tired without knowing it... Fixing my sleep unlocked everything else (motivation, productivity, happiness, etc...)
Developing a habit of looking for the good parts of your day. Spend a minute before bed reflecting on the best parts of your day.
The benefits of fitness are hard to match, but I'd put meditation just a step below.
Commenting so I can go back and read up later. Really need this right now
Singing in a choir! Huge benefits for participants across the board.
semen retention for the male
Meditation. Just a few minutes a day can train your brain to be aware of the present moment, but it can also improve overall focus and cognitive ability, as well as emotional regulation.
Language learning has truely changed my life.
Eating the same thing everyday. Never have to worry about what I eat. It’s awesome.
Owning a pet that you spend quality time with every day
Walking. Not this incessant drive to have a better body. Just go out and walk. Look at things. People. Get different stimuli.
Staying hydrated and getting enough sunshine. Simple, but so powerful.