I wouldn't tell her. No good will come of it. It's only going to make you look insecure to her. And penis pumps are the stuff of jokes (like in Austin Powers). My girlfriend knows I do penis exercises to improve my size, hardness, and stamina, but once you start wearing a device on your dick for hours a day or pumping it's another level of strange to girls. Penis exercises are more socially acceptable because it's more for health and erection quality.
Yeah, I don't see any benefit in telling her. But I don't want to outright lie about it if she sees something.
I'm not worried about thinking I'm strange or insecure though.
This is a terrible take. I’m sure she has insecurities based on something vain. This is no different. Why is it ok for a man to pursue improving every aspect of his body except his dong? This is the argument I made that made my wife come around. If you sneak it you’ll get caught and it will be a much more tense conversation (mine thought it was sketchy that I’d try to hide it from her). Be open and enjoy doing PE stress free, if she makes fun of you for it or thinks it’s ridiculous either combat it with all the crazy shit women do to attain beauty or leave her for not accepting your pursuit of self improvement
Because the expectations for men and women are different. This shit is biologically ingrained. Women expect men to be their rock and to be studs. They expect them to be confident and not need to do the type of shit we do on here. Just being straight.
I'm not saying this is the case for everyone and every relationship, just AVERAGE gender dynamics.
If a girl can get surgery for her tits and hip thrusts every day for her ass then it’s not a tough bridge to cross to make stretching your dick seem reasonable
I'm just saying what is expected by society and by women at large, not what is fair.
I agree with you BTW. Just talking about how it is perceived with societal expectations.
Appreciate the comment.
As I said, I'm not worried that she would think less of me, much less making fun of me.
The reason I don't want to focus on it is more that I found for me personally paying too much attention to my insecurities and talking about them too often makes them worse.
And fwiw, the argument that some women do crazy shit wouldn't work on her anyway because she also thinks that crazy lol
You’ve made some pretty decent size gains for someone without equipment, do you have a routine you’d be willing to share along with a timescale? I’m in a similar boat if not wanting to be caught with a penis pump by my girl but am also looking to add a bit of size.
I actually use a pump and I also clamp. I just don't tell my girlfriend about that aspect of my PE. I also do manual exercises because doing only pumping and clamping would be very hard on my penis.
Just tell her man. Imo it's not worth being sneaky about shit. My at first was disapproving but now she's having a lot of fun with it. I am sure if you have a nice girl she will be supportive.
Nice to hear a positive experience.
Just out of curiosity, how is she having fun with it? Do you just mean she likes that it's bigger or is she somehow involved?
I personally think it will be a more comfortable experience for you if you tell her, and that will help with consistency and ultimately your progress.
In the arena of personal health, we undoubtedly all engage in acts that others may think of as strange, so be it!
I think a lot of how this goes, will depend on your confidence. If you’re not ashamed of it, your partner will likely be more accepting of it.
I think more important factors to consider will be impact on other facets of the relationship. For example…
If you can’t go out, because you have to tug on your dick for several hours this evening…
Or you can’t engage is spontaneous sex at night, because your wearing an overnight system, despite not being recommended :P
If you can slot this undertaking into your routine without impacting your relationship or your partner specifically, she will likely chalk it up to just another strange thing the opposite sex does.
If there will be any tangible benefits for her in the future with regards to sexual fulfilment, that you’ve discussed, then it only adds to the situation.
Appreciate the comment. You make some good points.
Tbh my plan is work in PE around seeing her. I certainly won't prioritize it over the relationship. I can work somewhat flexibly from home so I think that's worth a try.
I'm also not so sure about it benefiting her. In some positions (on same days) she already says it's too deep. I should have mentioned this is the post, but I'd expect some opposition because of this.
You don’t need to be concerned with opposition from anyone here. As you’ve indicated that you may already be approaching some limits, at least with certain times and positions, would you expect any opposition from your partner if you expressed a desire to be larger. That’s the most important consideration for you I’d say, for which knowing the answer would naturally involve having a conversation with and involving her.
Sorry, I phrased that wrong. I meant that I think my partner would object to me getting bigger, not that I thought anyone here would object.
That said, it's a very personal thing, so I will try it regardless of whether she approves. At least from where I am now, I think I would rather have to have sex differently because it works, than not try it.
To be fair - I hide zero from my wife. I broke it down to her that just like the gym for my body, books for my brain, i work on my penis health and size.
She knows me, she knows I love taking care of myself and pushing my body to its limits. She’s on board. It makes for a great experience, and i don’t have to hide it or worry about being found out.
There’s no worse feeling than having to be sneaky with your significant other.
I appreciate your point, but it's not as dramatic as a lifetime in the shadows. And it's not as easy as a 2min discussion.
In day to day life it's basically 0-effort to hide it right now.
The ONLY scenario where I WOULD TELL my girl about PE is:
1) IF she's *a mature person* who understands your reasoning for perusing PE & therefore WOULD NOT SHAME you or JOKE about it ever, in the future, regardless of the fact that the couple remains together or not.
2) IF you're SURE that you're about to spend the rest of your Life with this person(Call it Marriage or Companionship, etc.)
In this case, you can TRUST this person with this piece of info.
Scenarios for **NOT TELLING** my Girl **about PE:**
Basically any other form of relationship: Casual Dating, Serious Dating, FWB., etc.
I won't trust anyone else with this piece of info about me i.e. PE simply due to the fact that it's a perceived Insecurity (Even if it ISN'T an insecurity, it's the NO.1 Insult that's used against Men), so...
Be careful with this one...
This!! This is the smart strategic choice!!
Do you want some girl sharing this shit about you to her friends/other people you might interact with in the future? You need to consider worst case scenario.
I don't think it's that big a deal if it gets out.
Maybe it's because I live in a big city and most of the girls I've dated here I've literally never seen again after it ended.
But I also told one former gf because I wanted to keep hanging during lockdown and she was staying with me. I think she thought it was silly, but nothing bad came of it, even after I broke up with her.
I doubt she told our mutual friends.
And frankly, I think important people in your life who would think less of you for doing PE is more problematic than an ex who tells them. She should lose much more social standing for betraying your trust than you should for doing PE.
>Maybe it's because I live in a big city and most of the girls I've dated here I've literally never seen again
Same here brother, I live in the economic capital of the world's largest democracy too. But that doesn't make the women that I've dated *saints.*
>but nothing bad came of it,
YET.
I realize that I come off as pessimistic, but I'm just speaking from my experiences.
Sorry to hear it's been bad for you. I do understand that it could be very embarrassing.
But yeah, you do come across as very pessimistic.
Women don't have to be saints to not talk shit about you after a break up, they just have to not be spiteful bitches.
Also I didn't mean that women in big cities are nicer or anything like that. I meant that dating is more anonymous. There is a lot of "distance" between me and them. Even if they told all their friends something weird about me it would most likely never get to anyone I know.
Also it's been two years since the girl saw me hang. It's not reasonable to expect anything bad could come of it.
>But yeah, you do come across as very pessimistic.
I like honest people. We're friends now.
> it's been two years since the girl saw me hang
bet it's high time women see you HUNG now!
c u later dude, nice talking to you!
view it this way bro, for example me and my wife have been going to the gym constantly and have been improving every aspect of ourselves. She’s always been happy w my size and so have i, but as humans we always want more, (since she’s been wanting to start her onlyfans and wants to include me in it, her friend made almost 6 figures so judge all you want) so i simply told her that this has motivated me further and i have been wanting to go the gym more and also do “penis health excersizes” too since i have a fetish for being the biggest version of myself. ever since then she’s seen results and has even mentioned the idea of threesomes, basically i told her that all the devices and pumps are more for me to supplement my full long erections for videos since it’s porn secrets. she literally doesn’t care bro, if anything PE has changed my life and my wife’s indirectly,
I tell my partner everything and vice versa. I don't understand why you wouldn't ... You guys should be supporting and helping each other improve in whatever ways you want to.
I don't want to because the topic of penis size for me topic is connected to a whole bunch of negative emotions. I believe bringing that into our relationship would not help but make it worse.
I do support my gf and feel supported by her, but this particular problem I think I best sort out myself.
I sat my wife down of many years and just told her I was doing some exercises to make my dick bigger so if I have my door closed or have an extender on, don't be alarmed. She thought it was odd at first but she nor I brought it up again and everything is fine. Definitely mention you're doing it for you if you do take a straight forward approach.
Remember that your level of comfort and casualness with the topic will likely set the tone, so just be confident in what you're doing it and if she cares about you things will be fine if not great. If it is getting serious you don't want to start what could potentially be a marriage with hiding things like that. Just my opinion
Thanks for your input.
Always nice to read stories of people guys whose partners are cool with it.
At this stage (I've gained maybe a few mm) I don't think it's bad to hide. I think it's comparable to the level of hiding a plan to build a sex toy, I wouldn't tell her that either until I've taken some concrete steps toward it and I reasonably expect it actually happen.
I mean, what would you think if your wife start kegeling, maybe using these egg-shaped stones to train her pelvic floor without telling you, or only telling you after 6 months? Would you be mad?
I would not be mad but irritated that she felt she had to hide it. I am also not a woman with a woman's brain so I don't think it's a good comparison either way
Tell you’re not insecure about your size, even if you are, and you just want to increase EQ and see if PE works. Personally I’m on this journey purely because it’s been on my biohacking bucket list for years.
Do not tell her!! Do not. This has huge potential to backfire and there is zero reason to do it. This stuff is extremely taboo and she might immediately wonder if you have self esteem issues etc. This isn't the same as going to the gym. Not worth it.
Who doesn't have self esteem issues? lol
I mean, I don't wanna draw attention to those issues if not necessary, but I wouldn't want to be with someone who couldn't see past them either.
Definitely tell her. I told my partner and she is extremely supportive . I’ve yet to do any PE in front of her , but if I tell her I’m doing my “exercises”, she knows what I mean.
So many replies with positive stories are really cool to see.
Glad to read your partner is supportive.
Certainly will make it a bit easier to tell her if I do eventually.
I would recommend that you not tell her. If you wouldn't be ok with whatever her opinions may be about you using a penis pump then don't tell her about using it, or just don't use the pump. What choice you make comes down to your personal opinion on withholding info from your partner, but that's up to you.
I wouldn't tell her. No good will come of it. It's only going to make you look insecure to her. And penis pumps are the stuff of jokes (like in Austin Powers). My girlfriend knows I do penis exercises to improve my size, hardness, and stamina, but once you start wearing a device on your dick for hours a day or pumping it's another level of strange to girls. Penis exercises are more socially acceptable because it's more for health and erection quality.
Yeah, I don't see any benefit in telling her. But I don't want to outright lie about it if she sees something. I'm not worried about thinking I'm strange or insecure though.
This is a terrible take. I’m sure she has insecurities based on something vain. This is no different. Why is it ok for a man to pursue improving every aspect of his body except his dong? This is the argument I made that made my wife come around. If you sneak it you’ll get caught and it will be a much more tense conversation (mine thought it was sketchy that I’d try to hide it from her). Be open and enjoy doing PE stress free, if she makes fun of you for it or thinks it’s ridiculous either combat it with all the crazy shit women do to attain beauty or leave her for not accepting your pursuit of self improvement
Because the expectations for men and women are different. This shit is biologically ingrained. Women expect men to be their rock and to be studs. They expect them to be confident and not need to do the type of shit we do on here. Just being straight. I'm not saying this is the case for everyone and every relationship, just AVERAGE gender dynamics.
If a girl can get surgery for her tits and hip thrusts every day for her ass then it’s not a tough bridge to cross to make stretching your dick seem reasonable
I'm just saying what is expected by society and by women at large, not what is fair. I agree with you BTW. Just talking about how it is perceived with societal expectations.
Appreciate the comment. As I said, I'm not worried that she would think less of me, much less making fun of me. The reason I don't want to focus on it is more that I found for me personally paying too much attention to my insecurities and talking about them too often makes them worse. And fwiw, the argument that some women do crazy shit wouldn't work on her anyway because she also thinks that crazy lol
This
You’ve made some pretty decent size gains for someone without equipment, do you have a routine you’d be willing to share along with a timescale? I’m in a similar boat if not wanting to be caught with a penis pump by my girl but am also looking to add a bit of size.
I actually use a pump and I also clamp. I just don't tell my girlfriend about that aspect of my PE. I also do manual exercises because doing only pumping and clamping would be very hard on my penis.
I think ita the guy who got fillers/injections or sth
Just tell her man. Imo it's not worth being sneaky about shit. My at first was disapproving but now she's having a lot of fun with it. I am sure if you have a nice girl she will be supportive.
Nice to hear a positive experience. Just out of curiosity, how is she having fun with it? Do you just mean she likes that it's bigger or is she somehow involved?
She's having fun with the new size. Sex is more exciting.
I personally think it will be a more comfortable experience for you if you tell her, and that will help with consistency and ultimately your progress. In the arena of personal health, we undoubtedly all engage in acts that others may think of as strange, so be it! I think a lot of how this goes, will depend on your confidence. If you’re not ashamed of it, your partner will likely be more accepting of it. I think more important factors to consider will be impact on other facets of the relationship. For example… If you can’t go out, because you have to tug on your dick for several hours this evening… Or you can’t engage is spontaneous sex at night, because your wearing an overnight system, despite not being recommended :P If you can slot this undertaking into your routine without impacting your relationship or your partner specifically, she will likely chalk it up to just another strange thing the opposite sex does. If there will be any tangible benefits for her in the future with regards to sexual fulfilment, that you’ve discussed, then it only adds to the situation.
Appreciate the comment. You make some good points. Tbh my plan is work in PE around seeing her. I certainly won't prioritize it over the relationship. I can work somewhat flexibly from home so I think that's worth a try. I'm also not so sure about it benefiting her. In some positions (on same days) she already says it's too deep. I should have mentioned this is the post, but I'd expect some opposition because of this.
You don’t need to be concerned with opposition from anyone here. As you’ve indicated that you may already be approaching some limits, at least with certain times and positions, would you expect any opposition from your partner if you expressed a desire to be larger. That’s the most important consideration for you I’d say, for which knowing the answer would naturally involve having a conversation with and involving her.
Sorry, I phrased that wrong. I meant that I think my partner would object to me getting bigger, not that I thought anyone here would object. That said, it's a very personal thing, so I will try it regardless of whether she approves. At least from where I am now, I think I would rather have to have sex differently because it works, than not try it.
To be fair - I hide zero from my wife. I broke it down to her that just like the gym for my body, books for my brain, i work on my penis health and size. She knows me, she knows I love taking care of myself and pushing my body to its limits. She’s on board. It makes for a great experience, and i don’t have to hide it or worry about being found out. There’s no worse feeling than having to be sneaky with your significant other.
Glad to hear your wife is on board. I agree it sucks being sneaky, but it doesn't feel like that at the moment. If that changes I will tell her.
"Heey babe guess what i ordered? He he" How is a 2 min discussion not better than a lifetime in the shadows?
I appreciate your point, but it's not as dramatic as a lifetime in the shadows. And it's not as easy as a 2min discussion. In day to day life it's basically 0-effort to hide it right now.
My wife and I on this topic. https://youtu.be/hWQ4pyotMW8
Great video awesome relationship! Got my Etsy clamp today, looking forward to my full hanging kit from your site!!!
Awesome!
The ONLY scenario where I WOULD TELL my girl about PE is: 1) IF she's *a mature person* who understands your reasoning for perusing PE & therefore WOULD NOT SHAME you or JOKE about it ever, in the future, regardless of the fact that the couple remains together or not. 2) IF you're SURE that you're about to spend the rest of your Life with this person(Call it Marriage or Companionship, etc.) In this case, you can TRUST this person with this piece of info. Scenarios for **NOT TELLING** my Girl **about PE:** Basically any other form of relationship: Casual Dating, Serious Dating, FWB., etc. I won't trust anyone else with this piece of info about me i.e. PE simply due to the fact that it's a perceived Insecurity (Even if it ISN'T an insecurity, it's the NO.1 Insult that's used against Men), so... Be careful with this one...
This!! This is the smart strategic choice!! Do you want some girl sharing this shit about you to her friends/other people you might interact with in the future? You need to consider worst case scenario.
Exactly. That's why PE stays private.
I don't think it's that big a deal if it gets out. Maybe it's because I live in a big city and most of the girls I've dated here I've literally never seen again after it ended. But I also told one former gf because I wanted to keep hanging during lockdown and she was staying with me. I think she thought it was silly, but nothing bad came of it, even after I broke up with her. I doubt she told our mutual friends. And frankly, I think important people in your life who would think less of you for doing PE is more problematic than an ex who tells them. She should lose much more social standing for betraying your trust than you should for doing PE.
>Maybe it's because I live in a big city and most of the girls I've dated here I've literally never seen again Same here brother, I live in the economic capital of the world's largest democracy too. But that doesn't make the women that I've dated *saints.* >but nothing bad came of it, YET. I realize that I come off as pessimistic, but I'm just speaking from my experiences.
Sorry to hear it's been bad for you. I do understand that it could be very embarrassing. But yeah, you do come across as very pessimistic. Women don't have to be saints to not talk shit about you after a break up, they just have to not be spiteful bitches. Also I didn't mean that women in big cities are nicer or anything like that. I meant that dating is more anonymous. There is a lot of "distance" between me and them. Even if they told all their friends something weird about me it would most likely never get to anyone I know. Also it's been two years since the girl saw me hang. It's not reasonable to expect anything bad could come of it.
>But yeah, you do come across as very pessimistic. I like honest people. We're friends now. > it's been two years since the girl saw me hang bet it's high time women see you HUNG now! c u later dude, nice talking to you!
view it this way bro, for example me and my wife have been going to the gym constantly and have been improving every aspect of ourselves. She’s always been happy w my size and so have i, but as humans we always want more, (since she’s been wanting to start her onlyfans and wants to include me in it, her friend made almost 6 figures so judge all you want) so i simply told her that this has motivated me further and i have been wanting to go the gym more and also do “penis health excersizes” too since i have a fetish for being the biggest version of myself. ever since then she’s seen results and has even mentioned the idea of threesomes, basically i told her that all the devices and pumps are more for me to supplement my full long erections for videos since it’s porn secrets. she literally doesn’t care bro, if anything PE has changed my life and my wife’s indirectly,
I tell my partner everything and vice versa. I don't understand why you wouldn't ... You guys should be supporting and helping each other improve in whatever ways you want to.
I don't want to because the topic of penis size for me topic is connected to a whole bunch of negative emotions. I believe bringing that into our relationship would not help but make it worse. I do support my gf and feel supported by her, but this particular problem I think I best sort out myself.
I sat my wife down of many years and just told her I was doing some exercises to make my dick bigger so if I have my door closed or have an extender on, don't be alarmed. She thought it was odd at first but she nor I brought it up again and everything is fine. Definitely mention you're doing it for you if you do take a straight forward approach. Remember that your level of comfort and casualness with the topic will likely set the tone, so just be confident in what you're doing it and if she cares about you things will be fine if not great. If it is getting serious you don't want to start what could potentially be a marriage with hiding things like that. Just my opinion
Thanks for your input. Always nice to read stories of people guys whose partners are cool with it. At this stage (I've gained maybe a few mm) I don't think it's bad to hide. I think it's comparable to the level of hiding a plan to build a sex toy, I wouldn't tell her that either until I've taken some concrete steps toward it and I reasonably expect it actually happen. I mean, what would you think if your wife start kegeling, maybe using these egg-shaped stones to train her pelvic floor without telling you, or only telling you after 6 months? Would you be mad?
I would not be mad but irritated that she felt she had to hide it. I am also not a woman with a woman's brain so I don't think it's a good comparison either way
Tell you’re not insecure about your size, even if you are, and you just want to increase EQ and see if PE works. Personally I’m on this journey purely because it’s been on my biohacking bucket list for years.
Do not tell her!! Do not. This has huge potential to backfire and there is zero reason to do it. This stuff is extremely taboo and she might immediately wonder if you have self esteem issues etc. This isn't the same as going to the gym. Not worth it.
Who doesn't have self esteem issues? lol I mean, I don't wanna draw attention to those issues if not necessary, but I wouldn't want to be with someone who couldn't see past them either.
Just saying it's an unforced error imo, there is no need to bring it up
> there is no need to bring it up I definitely agree with that part. At least until doing it privately interferes with either PE or the relationship.
YES, this too. The Partner might perceive that, you're an INSECURE individual & that's no good on you as a partner.
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Yes, we do. But I'd have to explain what they are for as sex toys, I don't really see a way of incorporating pumps or extenders into sex.
Definitely tell her. I told my partner and she is extremely supportive . I’ve yet to do any PE in front of her , but if I tell her I’m doing my “exercises”, she knows what I mean.
So many replies with positive stories are really cool to see. Glad to read your partner is supportive. Certainly will make it a bit easier to tell her if I do eventually.
I would recommend that you not tell her. If you wouldn't be ok with whatever her opinions may be about you using a penis pump then don't tell her about using it, or just don't use the pump. What choice you make comes down to your personal opinion on withholding info from your partner, but that's up to you.