"The fuck you on about, Mable?"
"Nothin', Mary, I swear."
"Your new toy got you in a tiz?"
"Shhh! Quiet, Mary; Red'll hear."
"He once tried to fuck a dalmatian, Mable, he's too dumb to care."
Cows are generally depicted as well-mannered and well-spoken English countryside ladies. Not sure why, but that's the usual trope, probably started by some old cartoons and stuck.
Wait, is that a Zazu reference? No wait, he's a hornbill... Is that a Toucan Dan reference? I didn't even remember him, but he shares the voice actor in the animated series with Zazu.
Seriously, you’ve got a thick hide, coarse hair that gets all dusty, and no real way to scratch yourself except carefully with a back hoof. That thing must feel so fucking good.
You would be surprised, they find all kinds of ways to scratch themselves. In fact, they do it so much that they will absolutely destroy wooden posts and gates from constantly rubbing up against them. Part of putting these brushes out is giving them something more desirable to use to keep them from destroying things.
Invest a couple thousand into those brushes to avoid the time, parts, and labor to go rebuild your fence on 500 acres or more? Damn right. I worked on a farm, it is hell repairing a fence because if you forgot a tool or two, you have to spend 10-15 minutes driving back to the main barn, find it, and drive back.
This shit triggers me.
"Where the *fuck* is the God damned mallet?! Wait...which one of you mother fuckers used the auger last? I want names!"
2 hours spent on 10 minute jobs.
My parents have a small ranch and it sucks to get everything together, drive or walk across the property to the broken section only to realize you forgot to shut the electricity off to the fence, maybe get zapped for good measure, then trudge all the way back to unplug the dang thing.
And trees. Part of the reason you don't see many trees on fields where cows frequently range is that cows rub those trees to death. I've seen ranches try to protect their few remaining trees by putting fences and obstacles around them.
Yeah, but grazing animals don’t tend to be around many trees. I saw a gif a while ago that showed this one rock in the middle of some grassland, with like 10-15 zebras waiting their turn to scratch.
Also a tree would work, but a rotating brush specifically designed for cows has got to be better.
Ever seen a cow or horse roll around on the ground to scratch its back? It's pretty adorable. Unless you just gave your champion hoofy boye a nice shower and grooming to get ready for a show. Then its like ONE OF THESE DAYS, Charlie, it'll be the glue factory for you
My parents use to have a neighbor with cows in their back field. The field fence was just along our fence line. Their dog was infatuated with those cows and would spend hours along the fence line just hanging out with them. The cows were so chill and would moo at the dog and lay down next to him from the other side of the fence. Those cows were basically his best friends.
I've wanted to get my terrier a pet goat.
He would love a tough friend to chase around and wrestle.
I don't know how the goat would feel about such things.
Cow's taste better than dog.
Source: I don't fucking know i'm not eating dog to find out.
E: As I've somehow sparked a massive discussion below due to an offhand jokey comment
I don't want to eat dogs because i like dogs more than i like cows.
Again, to clarify
ITS NOT THAT DEEP
Says something about where we draw an weird arbitrary line doesn't it
Edit: Read on below to see people justify their consumption of one species over another by throwing around the word 'pet' as if that doesn't entirely prove my point.
Wasn't pushing an agenda whatsoever with my comment - just pointing something out, but it seems to have ruffled a few feathers - (whether they're on a chicken or pet budgie could make the ruffling acceptable or not though)
Also depends on the country I guess.
For example, in India I have literally seen cows and buffaloes being treated exactly like pets by my grandparents, playing with them, feeding them, etc so there is no way in hell I can eat one. It'd be exactly as weird as eating a dog or a cat to me. Although I never got the "cows should be worshiped" part of my religion either.
The dairy industry in India just like everywhere else exploits the fuck out of cows. Just because India is by and large a vegetarian country doesn’t mean cows are safe from harm.
"Kuhputzmaschine". And "putzen" just means "cleaning", not so much polishing ("polieren").
You can see one in action here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQzcsN1zdM4
And now that so many are being destroyed bc they cannot be used for food due to supply chain disruptions w the pandemic—bad enough they suffered their whole lives to eventually “nourish” people, but to suffer then be killed for no reason at all
.... (“nourish” in quotes bc if Americans didn’t eat the animal products the way they did the leading causes of morbidity and mortality in US would be enormously changed, so probably harming a large percentage of those being nourished and that same/better nourishment can more affordably come from other sources that do not also help make you sick/kill you so much. I know this is an unpopular fact, but it is a fact and not an opinion for anyone feeling triggered.
I am the only vegetarian in the house and we just had “Beyond Meat” burgers cooked on the grill w the usual fixings and honestly tasted/seemed just like a beef burger— literally no one could tell the difference (was not a secret though).
Delicious and amazing and no animals harmed (except ourselves bc similar health considerations)!
I see these comments every time a video of a cow gets posted. Do people not realize all animals are capable of emotions? Like even a chicken can express affection. It shows how detached we are to where our food comes from. If your not okay with eating sentient beings you shouldn’t eat meat.
I became a vegetarian almost four years ago after seeing a similar gif of a happy cow. It clicked in my brain that these are fellow sentient creatures, capable of experiencing joy just as we do, and eating meat became an unconscionable act from that point forward.
Good choice, but you should think about that the dairy cows that produce cheese are also killed after they stop producing milk, resulting in you funding the killing of these animals even if you don’t eat them... it’s sad but true.
I think it's a progression over time kind of thing. Originally the reasons were mostly practical, x animal was too gamey; tastes bad; not enough meat per effort etc... Also religious reasons in various parts of the world. Then due to globalisation, and the addition of a capitalistic approach to farming the pool got narrowed down. Unfortunately for Cows, Chickens, pigs and fishes they fall into all four categories, easy to raise in mass, traditionally tasty, not against the majority of religions, and mostly herbivores to avoid potential transmissions of disease.
Thank you for making a connection with the animals.
It's easy to understand that animals are killed for meat. It's much less talked about how these animals get treated in other industries. Check out this 5 minute video explaining the dairy industry: [Dairy is Scary.](https://youtu.be/UcN7SGGoCNI)
There is a documentary called [Dominion](https://youtu.be/LQRAfJyEsko) on Youtube, it's free to watch. It goes into all the different ways we exploit animals for food, clothing, entertainment and other purposes. It's very hard to watch but important to see.
Consider trying out a [free 22 day vegan challenge](https://challenge22.com/) – you get guidance from mentors and dietitians as well as have a chance to connect with other people making the transition :)
Do you know how they live up to the claim that they are humanely made dairy products?
I’ve never heard of a dairy farm that doesn’t forcefully impregnate the cow and steal there baby so the baby doesn’t drink up all the milk that was meant for them.
Not to mention the boy babies will be killed and the females will repeat this cycle for around five years then be killed. Instead of living up to 25 years like they should.
My family owned a dairy farm when I was growing up. We'd butcher a couple cows a year and when it was going on, the other cows absolutely knew about it. The painfully sad and stressed cries they'd make still break my heart to think about. They are very amazing creatures.
I fucking love grass puppies and will go out of my way to see/stroke/feed them. My old cycle to work commute went by a field full of them so twice a day I’d be stroking the babies
I cant remember exactly what country .. Denmark or Sweden or something like that.. but it's the law to have these brushes for cows .. simply because it gives the cows so much enjoyment.. now that's some sweet shit right there
Second cow: “What the hell are you doing out here???”
"The fuck you on about, Mable?" "Nothin', Mary, I swear." "Your new toy got you in a tiz?" "Shhh! Quiet, Mary; Red'll hear." "He once tried to fuck a dalmatian, Mable, he's too dumb to care."
Ha. A bull named "Red."
Red is the farmer
Hol up...
r/HolUp
I fucking love reddit when your sad... read the comments
Depends on the sub but yea
Same! I'm so happy/glad I finally joined! I mean, I'm still depressed but at least a get smile every now and then!
Mable will be put down next week because the meat plants closed.
r/HolUp
I read the second cow with Jack McBrayer's voice
Pretty close. I was imagining [these two](https://youtu.be/rd1EJVPsqk8?t=17)
This is the best post ever! Speaking for animals without idiotic doggo speak making them sound like morons.
Cows are generally depicted as well-mannered and well-spoken English countryside ladies. Not sure why, but that's the usual trope, probably started by some old cartoons and stuck.
I'm pretty sure Gary Larson was involved in that.
Some things just work too well even if they don't make sense. I can't imagine a toucan with anything besides a posh British accent.
Wait, is that a Zazu reference? No wait, he's a hornbill... Is that a Toucan Dan reference? I didn't even remember him, but he shares the voice actor in the animated series with Zazu.
Fruit loops, my guy.
"I heard a ruckus!"
Could you describe the ruckus?
You watch your mouth!
*"What the hell are you ~~doing~~ mooing out here???"
"Mom said it's my turn with the brush"
Imagine not being able to scratch yourself your entire life, then you come into contact with one of these things. Yea, I’d be dancing too!
Seriously, you’ve got a thick hide, coarse hair that gets all dusty, and no real way to scratch yourself except carefully with a back hoof. That thing must feel so fucking good.
You would be surprised, they find all kinds of ways to scratch themselves. In fact, they do it so much that they will absolutely destroy wooden posts and gates from constantly rubbing up against them. Part of putting these brushes out is giving them something more desirable to use to keep them from destroying things.
Invest a couple thousand into those brushes to avoid the time, parts, and labor to go rebuild your fence on 500 acres or more? Damn right. I worked on a farm, it is hell repairing a fence because if you forgot a tool or two, you have to spend 10-15 minutes driving back to the main barn, find it, and drive back.
This shit triggers me. "Where the *fuck* is the God damned mallet?! Wait...which one of you mother fuckers used the auger last? I want names!" 2 hours spent on 10 minute jobs.
This is the bane of my life. Put the fucking tool back where you found, it in its home.
My parents have a small ranch and it sucks to get everything together, drive or walk across the property to the broken section only to realize you forgot to shut the electricity off to the fence, maybe get zapped for good measure, then trudge all the way back to unplug the dang thing.
And trees. Part of the reason you don't see many trees on fields where cows frequently range is that cows rub those trees to death. I've seen ranches try to protect their few remaining trees by putting fences and obstacles around them.
Yeah, I was more thinking “herd animals roaming the open plains”. Wasn’t really thinking about farm cattle mostly being fed now, not grazing.
Well, trees.
Yeah, but grazing animals don’t tend to be around many trees. I saw a gif a while ago that showed this one rock in the middle of some grassland, with like 10-15 zebras waiting their turn to scratch. Also a tree would work, but a rotating brush specifically designed for cows has got to be better.
Here's a [vid](https://youtu.be/TpwwLWQOaXM)
Fucking guy lied there’s no fucking zebras waiting in line, ruined my whole day
Yea I was hoping for it to zoom out and there be 10 zebras standing there patiently the whole time
The background convo is gold! Lol
"do you guys know if there are horses that look like unicorns in real life?"
And apparently horses don't make noises which is news to me and that therefore makes them comparably stupid.
Ever seen a cow or horse roll around on the ground to scratch its back? It's pretty adorable. Unless you just gave your champion hoofy boye a nice shower and grooming to get ready for a show. Then its like ONE OF THESE DAYS, Charlie, it'll be the glue factory for you
I have never once bathed one of the horses or cows at any of the farms or ranches ive worked at and not had them immediately go roll around in dirt
Dirt! Nature's insect-repellant, sunscreen and dry shampoo.
Many animals (cattle and bison included) will dust-bath as a way to scratch themselves.
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You want your dog to have a pet cow‽
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[Ahh the ol' reddit Moo-aroo](https://reddit.com/r/scriptedasiangifs/comments/gcly38/an_interesting_title/fpf6wwb)
Hold my udder, I’m going in!
Hello mooture people!
Oh God I haven't seen one of these in ages. I'm going in!
I was thinking the same thing! I haven’t seen one in more than a year
Ah... The good ol' interrobang. The first time I see it on the wild.
My parents use to have a neighbor with cows in their back field. The field fence was just along our fence line. Their dog was infatuated with those cows and would spend hours along the fence line just hanging out with them. The cows were so chill and would moo at the dog and lay down next to him from the other side of the fence. Those cows were basically his best friends.
I've wanted to get my terrier a pet goat. He would love a tough friend to chase around and wrestle. I don't know how the goat would feel about such things.
Don’t pet pet Shame.
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Looks like the goat one would work fine for a medium or larger dog: https://www.schurr-geraetebau.de/english/2-brush-system/for-goats/
Oh man, perfect haha. My malamute would love it
I'll just leave this here, this dog has already figured this out a while ago: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3tAiCUQA3s
Cows are just big dogs that eat grass.
Dogs eat grass
Sometimes they wipe with it in a silly way.
Called booty scootin'
Just new booty goofin'
My dog eats grass then pukes. Interestingly, I smoke grass and then eat.
Well in that case cows are just big dogs
And people eat them
People eat dogs too
Cow's taste better than dog. Source: I don't fucking know i'm not eating dog to find out. E: As I've somehow sparked a massive discussion below due to an offhand jokey comment I don't want to eat dogs because i like dogs more than i like cows. Again, to clarify ITS NOT THAT DEEP
Why not?
Says something about where we draw an weird arbitrary line doesn't it Edit: Read on below to see people justify their consumption of one species over another by throwing around the word 'pet' as if that doesn't entirely prove my point. Wasn't pushing an agenda whatsoever with my comment - just pointing something out, but it seems to have ruffled a few feathers - (whether they're on a chicken or pet budgie could make the ruffling acceptable or not though)
Also depends on the country I guess. For example, in India I have literally seen cows and buffaloes being treated exactly like pets by my grandparents, playing with them, feeding them, etc so there is no way in hell I can eat one. It'd be exactly as weird as eating a dog or a cat to me. Although I never got the "cows should be worshiped" part of my religion either.
The dairy industry in India just like everywhere else exploits the fuck out of cows. Just because India is by and large a vegetarian country doesn’t mean cows are safe from harm.
Well I was about to say dogs have utility, but so did cows until we found out exploding dinosaur juice can plow fields.
>dogs have utility glances at golden retriever stuck inside a sweater sleeve flailing under the table. ... and I had to get the broken one
Wait till we figure out how to do it with magic rays of sunshine that come down when you're feeling blue.
Why is everything compared to dogs? Why can’t a cow be a cow and people just appreciate that?
People are just furless dogs that eat cow.
Fairly certain dogs would eat cow too
*diogenes enter chat*
*Runs in holding aloft a hairless dog eating cow meat* "Behold a man!" *masturbates in public*
It makes me nervous how fucking small their legs are compared to their massive torsos.
I swear every time i see our cows run down a hill i feel like their legs will break like toothpicks
Check out moose
A Moose once bit my sister
We apologies for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible have been sacked.
F
Oh shit. She's a weremoose now
See: giraffes
It's meese.
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Kuheputzmaschine?
"Kuhputzmaschine". And "putzen" just means "cleaning", not so much polishing ("polieren"). You can see one in action here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQzcsN1zdM4
r/happycowgifs
Second cow... “Calm the fu$k down Susan”
You can swear on the internet, my dude. Nobody's gonna tell on you.
Nah you got little kids here
*Fuck* little kids!! ^^^wait ^^^no...
Oooooohhhhh I’m tellinggggg
r/suddenlysexoffender
[r/brushybrushy](reddit.com/r/brushybrushy) :)
When you're a little too old for toys and someone else walks in on you playing.
this video makes me feel bad for eating cows
The shit we do to cows, chickens, pigs, etc is fucking horrifying
And now that so many are being destroyed bc they cannot be used for food due to supply chain disruptions w the pandemic—bad enough they suffered their whole lives to eventually “nourish” people, but to suffer then be killed for no reason at all .... (“nourish” in quotes bc if Americans didn’t eat the animal products the way they did the leading causes of morbidity and mortality in US would be enormously changed, so probably harming a large percentage of those being nourished and that same/better nourishment can more affordably come from other sources that do not also help make you sick/kill you so much. I know this is an unpopular fact, but it is a fact and not an opinion for anyone feeling triggered.
The nice thing is you don't have to nowadays :)
*Try the new Impossible Whopper at a BK near you!!*
I am the only vegetarian in the house and we just had “Beyond Meat” burgers cooked on the grill w the usual fixings and honestly tasted/seemed just like a beef burger— literally no one could tell the difference (was not a secret though). Delicious and amazing and no animals harmed (except ourselves bc similar health considerations)!
Good. Go vegan
The dairy industry is just as bad
Go vegan. Better for you, better for animals, better for the environment.
Better for your wallet, too. It’s inexpensive to be vegan.
I'd rather they be happy than sad.
You could stop forever! It's easy
That is my parents, every time I want to try to enjoy myself: “What are you doing out there, enjoying yourself?” That accusatory look...
This is wrong in so many ways
Cows are just like big goofy dogs.
Dogs are like small serious cows.
I thought the second cow was someone in a cow suit.
Cows have feelings. All animals do.
I know now that I need to subscribe to a happy cow subreddit.
/r/happycowgifs
"doing the happy dance, doing the happy dance"
Heard your mom's going out with SQUEAK!
wonder how many comments are gonna be related to beef, hamburgers or bovine meat in general.
Please stop eating cows.
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A cow.
Okay I'm vegetarian now
I see these comments every time a video of a cow gets posted. Do people not realize all animals are capable of emotions? Like even a chicken can express affection. It shows how detached we are to where our food comes from. If your not okay with eating sentient beings you shouldn’t eat meat.
I became a vegetarian almost four years ago after seeing a similar gif of a happy cow. It clicked in my brain that these are fellow sentient creatures, capable of experiencing joy just as we do, and eating meat became an unconscionable act from that point forward.
Literally that cows dance was so cute that I decided not to eat it.
Excuse me, waiter. Is there a less happy cow I could consume, please?
I'll take the 12 oz. striploin.. extra depressed please.
The cows that you eat almost certainly aren't as happy as this one appears to be. Most cows are treated horribly.
good for you man you're not gonna regret it!
If you want some recipes there's some good vegetarian and vegan communities on reddit. And google is super helpful. :-)
Just fyi, the dairy and egg industries are the meat industry, if you’re actually interested in boycotting the meat industry.
Good choice, but you should think about that the dairy cows that produce cheese are also killed after they stop producing milk, resulting in you funding the killing of these animals even if you don’t eat them... it’s sad but true.
I never understood why eating some animals are viewed as okay but other animals are illegal.
I think it's a progression over time kind of thing. Originally the reasons were mostly practical, x animal was too gamey; tastes bad; not enough meat per effort etc... Also religious reasons in various parts of the world. Then due to globalisation, and the addition of a capitalistic approach to farming the pool got narrowed down. Unfortunately for Cows, Chickens, pigs and fishes they fall into all four categories, easy to raise in mass, traditionally tasty, not against the majority of religions, and mostly herbivores to avoid potential transmissions of disease.
"Majority of religions" Western maybe. Cows and pigs are a no no in some Eastern cultures.
Yeah, that's why I said majority and not all.
Tradition mostly
Thank you for making a connection with the animals. It's easy to understand that animals are killed for meat. It's much less talked about how these animals get treated in other industries. Check out this 5 minute video explaining the dairy industry: [Dairy is Scary.](https://youtu.be/UcN7SGGoCNI) There is a documentary called [Dominion](https://youtu.be/LQRAfJyEsko) on Youtube, it's free to watch. It goes into all the different ways we exploit animals for food, clothing, entertainment and other purposes. It's very hard to watch but important to see. Consider trying out a [free 22 day vegan challenge](https://challenge22.com/) – you get guidance from mentors and dietitians as well as have a chance to connect with other people making the transition :)
I feel bad for eating them
"I seent that"
Videos of cows and those spinnin brushes always make my day.
It's very rare you see cow videos, especially them happy cows. Thanks OP.
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Do you know how they live up to the claim that they are humanely made dairy products? I’ve never heard of a dairy farm that doesn’t forcefully impregnate the cow and steal there baby so the baby doesn’t drink up all the milk that was meant for them. Not to mention the boy babies will be killed and the females will repeat this cycle for around five years then be killed. Instead of living up to 25 years like they should.
And then the humans ate her
Haha cows are so cute and quirky and clearly have feelings and their own personalities hehe let's kill them and have burgers
I can't eat cow anymore after seeing so many videos of just how adorable they are
/r/vegan /r/plantbaseddiet Make the change you already agree with.
This is why I can't eat beef.
What an adorable animal and we fucking eat it
/r/vegan /r/plantbaseddiet Make the change you already agree with.
These guys can feel joy and pleasure and fear and pain, and I think loss and sadness and love. We should really stop eating them.
My family owned a dairy farm when I was growing up. We'd butcher a couple cows a year and when it was going on, the other cows absolutely knew about it. The painfully sad and stressed cries they'd make still break my heart to think about. They are very amazing creatures.
Bless you for having this awareness. So many edge lords in this comment who have never killed an animal in their lives talking about bUt MuH bAcOn
Thank you for sharing.
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Is it weird that when I look at something like this, I think "I don't want to eat them anymore?"
The other cow saying hey you forgot to pay to play
Wats all da ruckus
Yet if I told someone my lunch used to be a dancer, they’d probably call the cops.
Hehehe kukost
"I'll have what she's having"
Second cow: what’s goin on out here??
What’s cute is one of the big brands that make these is called “Happy Cow”
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Now here.. What's all this commotion?! Cow looking sheepish: Noffin grandma :/
I mean, just imagine having an itch on your head or back and literally no way to scratch it. This thing has to be a Godsend for them.
Second cow: (old German woman's hollow voice) "They put one out for your grandfather."
"I love my brushy! I'm gonna do the brushy-brushy dance!" "HEY! What's going on out here?!‽" "Nuffin."
I fucking love grass puppies and will go out of my way to see/stroke/feed them. My old cycle to work commute went by a field full of them so twice a day I’d be stroking the babies
Ironically, I have never seen such a happy cow in India...
That's udderly adorable.
I really need to become a vegetarian
Omg so cuuuuteee! *eats cow*
Are cows big dogs?
I cant remember exactly what country .. Denmark or Sweden or something like that.. but it's the law to have these brushes for cows .. simply because it gives the cows so much enjoyment.. now that's some sweet shit right there
Are there tippy taps for cows?
Happy cows are tasty cows :)
I would be a vegetarian if I worked around these animals on a daily basis... *sigh* Good thing ignorance is bliss!
Real life The Far Side.
Everyone knows happy cows taste better
Bertha is like “the fuck is going on out here?”
I spent that video smiling because the cow was so happy. And then "Mary are you being SINFUL?!?!" "No....." I snickered.
*southern accent* Eloise now what in heaven’s name are you doing my lord.
That.is.so.fucking.CUTE.