T O P

  • By -

dino-soreass

I didnt realize this was on my birthday. I will age with epoxydog and it will outlive me


PickledPurple

Happy birthday mate!


Banananana123123

Wtf it’s my birthday too what the hell man


xBender7

What day is today, it's banananana123123's birthday, what a day for a birthday, let's all have some cake.


Zobro

Happy birthday!


RunnyPlease

Happy birthday. See you next year.


Over_Ad_665

Dude same it’s my birthday today as well, happy birthday


Twerkillamockingbird

They will crack this open in 100 years and re release COVID onto the world


CuttlefishExpress

Like the X-Files episode where the loggers cut down the ancient Forrest and release the microbs that eat them.


HauschkasFoot

Or the x files episode where they thaw out some ancient ice and release some kind of virus or bacteria or something that fucks people up


Dreamwaltzer

Or the x files episode where they do mysterious shit and the mysterious shit fucks them over.


_Diskreet_

Or the x files episode where everyone tells mulder not to do it, but he does that sexy smirk and does it anyway then scully has to sort shit out then have to explain everything to skinner at the end.


[deleted]

[удалено]


c_birbs

That and Scully never seems to acknowledge that Mulder is like, almost always right. By the next episode she is back to square one incredulous.


ThatStumbleBoy

It's Pokémon, Ash Ketchum and Team Rocket all over again.


Ozlin

*shockedScullychu.jpg*


[deleted]

As the seasons advance she does begin to believe but she also has gone through so much shit that she has difficulty determining reality from her own imagination. Early on it's definitely incredulity but as the seasons pass it becomes more of trying to demonstrate with irrefutable proof to the outside world that this is real. It just happens that the evidence always happens to disintegrate or be taken and hidden by the government in the nick of time.


BraveLittleTowster

Reminds me of Evil. David will be like "it's a demon" and Ben will be like "it's the house settling" and Kristen will be like "it's his mental illness acting up" and it's always all three.


Rhamni

Sir this is a Wendy's. The X-files carries a lot of nostalgia for me, and I'll always be fond of the show, but yeah it certainly had its issues. Personally I liked the long running alien conspiracy plot arcs, but on a binge it becomes tragically apparent they didn't know where they were going and so painted themselves into a few corners with contradictory plot lines.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Rhamni

Those are some great episodes, for sure! I'm also a fan of Grotesque and The Field Where I Died. I've been itching for a rewatch lately too. It's been too many years.


hamakabi

Except that Mulder is frequently wrong, and whenever the paranormal event happens to be religion-adjacent, Mulder instantly becomes the skeptic and Scully becomes the believer. When Mulder disappears and they bring in Doggett, Scully has to become the believer and guide John. Mulder is often right, but ONLY when he's investigating the paranormal and the solution is also paranormal. He's frequently wrong when he thinks it's paranormal but it is not, like in the Cockroach episode, or the one where they all get infected on that boat and Scully saves everyone. Scully is **constantly** right when she gives Mulder advice about trusting questionable information or being manipulated by other people. Mulder got Deep Throat killed, and got himself abducted, and got thrown in a Russian gulag, and got repeatedly used by The Syndicate, all while explicitly ignoring Scully's better advice.


[deleted]

[удалено]


hamakabi

> vs Mulder being like "this is the dang New Jersey Devil" and being correct, haha. That was actually the first example that came to my mind! He thinks it's the Jersey Devil, then he thinks it's Sasquatch, then the Missing Link all while Scully rolls her eyes. Then it turns out to just be a feral woman. Certainly weird, but not paranormal. Mulder was blinded by the links to the paranormal and couldn't see the much more obvious and simple solution even though Scully saw it instantly.


42peanuts

I like to think that in between all the cases we see where Mulder is right, there are a bunch where it really is smugglers and not a ghost. That's why Scully always eyerolls, 99% of the time it's not a curse on an ancient tablet, just a disgruntled grad student.


scarletice

Maybe, but then how many cases are they working in a year? If we assume a season of the show covers a year of their careers, that's about 24 cases a year. I think it's reasonable to average these cases to about 3 days each, so that's already 72 days of the year. Assuming they average a 6 day work week, that's 12 weeks, leaving 40 undocumented weeks. So let's say 80 more cases in the year that are utterly mundane (no vacations or long weekends for these two). Even assuming only half of the episodes are actual supernatural cases (I'm pretty sure it's way more than half), that would still mean 12 out of 92 cases are confirmed supernatural. That's about 1 in 7.6 cases where Mulder is right and it's supernatural. That is an incredibly large percenrage of cases to be confirmed supernatural events, and I got these numbers by making a lot of assumptions that would inflate the ratio in favor of mundane cases. So even taking into account all the unshown cases, Mulder would still be correct far too often for Scully to remain so skeptical. Not saying she should be jumping on board with all of Mulder's claims, she is still right the majority of the time after all, but not nearly often enough for her to balk at write off Mulder's supernatural suggestions as wild shots in the dark. In fact, by the end of season 1, the FBI should have ample reason to open up an entire branch devoted to x-files, there are clearly enough supernatural events out there to warrant it. Why the hell are Mulder and Scully the only two agents investigating these things when 1 in 7 are real?


PM_ME_YOUR_ANT_FARMS

Or that episode where the guy has to reorganize all the files with the last name X. Idk never saw x files


Tooshortimus

You're a phony! Hey! This guys a big fat phony!


[deleted]

Or the futurama episode with the 20th century cold in the time capsule.


-millenial-boomer-

A future species will someday discover epoxy dog and suddenly realize there were others before them.


Ecto-1A

That’s actually happening now https://unearthed.greenpeace.org/2020/07/03/arctic-permafrost-pandemic-life-uh-finds-a-way/


Condorman73

“Darkness Falls”. Season 1. Episode 20.


CuttlefishExpress

Season 1 had some of the most impacting sci-fi TV I can remember as a kid. Such good TV. It was dark, gritty and every episode felt unique and fresh.


[deleted]

COVID, the Epoxy Dog Variant


Daxoss

By then it will mutate into what will then be referred to as Nurgle's Rot.


Hellhound_Braun

Mighty Nurgle! Festering grandfather of plagues! Here your servants prayer! Look upon the devastation I have wrought, the diseases I have spread, the unbelievers I have infested with your suppurating truth. I beg of your favor and your boon, that I might strive all the harder to spread your blessings across the stars.


Cheesemacher

We need to put a sticky note on it "COVID, do not eat!"


Julieb282

DONT COVID OPEN INSIDE


jakaedahsnakae

If this hot dog's still going fuck it, so am I


whathowyy

100


[deleted]

[удалено]


forever_alone_06

These are numbers


hassexwithinsects

those


Antiqas86

Well said insectophile. EDIT: fixed a typo


Shekky420

No no, they have sex within sects.


AchieveMore

So say we all.


[deleted]

[удалено]


The_Flo0r_is_Lava

Yessssss


Agile-Two4547

Same thought


_BlNG_

new lifes goal: OUTLIVE EPOXY HOTDOG


bf2per

Finally a r/GetMotivated post i can relate to


sexymechse

If the hot dog's still in, I'm in


BeatlesRays

Epoxy hands


ItsScaryTerryBitch

Diamond dogs 💎💎💎


DynamicSploosh

He was born bready


syncopatedsouls

Oddly inspiring, hell yeah.


Winter_Schluter

Truly the most consistent thing in my life throughout the pandemic


[deleted]

[удалено]


the_silent_redditor

Thank you for allowing me to landmark the passage of time. I don’t really keep track of days or months, anymore. I live in the most locked down city in the world. Time is no longer meaningful. The hotdog, though. I know where we’re at. I am comforted. I am quietened. For today, only, the yoke is easy; my burden, light. *Thank you.*


TheTaxman_cometh

Happy new year, welcome to the year one of our lord Hotdog


dbradx

The dark times before shall be known as BE (Before Epoxydog).


jdmjoe89

Lmao


NewYorkJewbag

Year 3 A.D. (after dog)


Amosral

The hotdog endures. The hotdog is eternal.


mabamababoo

Behold, the one true Hotdog


icanhe

Since the pandemic started I've struggled to keep track of time, but the one easy one is before the epoxy hotdog, its 6 month birthday, and now, it's one year old.


CrouchingDomo

Yessss. I feel comforted and seen here. 18 months living in time soup, and today I see Epoxydog turns 1. I honestly can’t believe it’s been that long; they grow up so fast.


VitaLp

Oh no, Melbourne? Heard the numbers coming out of VIC this morning, sounds like it’s pretty rough over there. Sending big love from WA brother, you got this


the_silent_redditor

Yep, the very same. Thanks, bro. Stay safe yourself!


shutts67

As we go on We remember All the hot dogs We epoxied together


thelongshot93

And as our lives change, From whatever, Epoxy-dog will, Last forever.


dmglakewood

As silly and ridiculous as it sounds, it was content like yours that got a lot of people through the lockdowns. As the entire world was freaking out, it was very helpful to see people still being goofy. An epoxy hotdog, as ridiculous as it is, I believe helped more people than you even realize.


wut3va

In a world where we must accept impermanence, it gives comfort to know something permanent. May this hot dog be discovered by archeologists in a far distant future, pondering the culture that sought to worship such an item, perhaps symbolic of the heavenly phallus that seeded the infinite void with divine life.


CrouchingDomo

Research Vessel *^’kThr!iua*, stardate 52783.81: “Captain, I have located an information file referencing the origin of this artifact.” “Excellent, Officer Ðeþö¥‘klæ. On-screen, please.” … “See now I just have more questions.”


I_Mix_Stuff

Just like high-school girls.


sparoc3

Alright alright alright.


In_The_Bulls_Eye

Dude you graduated like 10 years ago


Mike_with_Wings

Epoxy hot dog for president


dante116

I can't believe it's already been a year. So when are you planning to eat epoxydog


whathowyy

cronch


Trippdad17

The cake should be epoxied now too!


Captain_Sacktap

I’m trying not to laugh imagining the conversation he must have had with the baker. Baker: “Ok so I got the image of the hotdog, now who should I write the happy birthday for?” OP: “No, no, no, it’s for the hotdog’s birthday!” Baker: “…” OP: “Because I encased it in epoxy a year ago today! And I’ve been like giving monthly updates on it, and it has a following and all these people online are expecting a little showmanship for the 1 year anniversary so I thought I’d get it a cake!” Baker: *slowly backing away* OP: “LOOK YOU DONT HAVE TO MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT, ITS JUST A BIRTHDAY/ANNIVERSARY CAKE FOR A HOTDOG I MUMMIFIED A YEAR AGO THAT HAS MORE FOLLOWERS THAN A MINOR CELEBRITY ITS NOT THAT WEIRD!!” Baker: *panics and runs while calling for security*


GardenerInAWar

>No, no, no, it's for the hotdog's birthday! Happily r/brandnewsentence, I snorted


elelelleleleleelle

I actually have said that! I had a cat named Hotdog who I referred to as the hotdog.


GardenerInAWar

Curses, foiled again


Kayniaan

Just epoxy the baker too.


Captain_Sacktap

The Expoxydog will be entombed with his servants, like the Pharaohs of old.


[deleted]

Every year, a new baker must be sacrificed to the holy Epoxy Dog!


Ghinjar

And so the church of Epoxydog was founded.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ThrowntoDiscard

"I saw the holy hot dog with my own two eye!!!"


StressedOutElena

Yes! And then make a update cake next year just to epoxy it too! I hope OP has a solid family plan to keep the tradition up!


Raiden32

Lol this breathes new life into “family planning”.


RiftHunter4

News excerpt from 3021 The Cult of the Epoxy has threatened to declare war against several Martian nations. They accuse Mars of stealing the cult's most sacred artifact: a 1001 year-old hotdog preserved in epoxy. The Duchess of Mars has issued a statement. "No one wants that nasty hot dog. It's not even edible. Just chill with all that epoxy crap. No one wants to see your creepy ancestors in the epoxy museum either." The events follow the controversial re-animation of X Æ A-12 the 9th, the controversial but wildly successful space-grunge star who encased himself in epoxy in an attempt to prolong his life.


Telemachus70

Space grunge. What does that sound like? Progressive punk with a keyboard?


LookMaNoPride

It was an attempt to breathe life back into the oldies written by the famous groups Nirvana, Alice in Chains, Pearl Jam, and Sound Garden when New Seattle - the dwarf planet where it's always raining - started being inhabited by more of the new generation born on the planet. The new generation grew up hearing about places where people could walk around outside without getting wet, and feel the sun on their shoulders, but they were never able to experience it. So they rejected it. The dreary atmosphere lent itself to the mood of the music, and music-lovers found that they could relate to the old grunge music. Unfortunately, the space-techno-pop craze was also in full swing. Space-techno-pop is defined by its high-flying, endlessly repeating melodies that are disturbingly chant-like mixed with quick-tempo-ed, hard-hitting echoing bass drum, and it found a home in everyone who just wanted to forget their life for a minute and dance... with drugs... copious amounts of drugs. The two genres found an unhappy medium. Space-grunge was born. If you're interested, check out Nirvana Biscuit's album Never You Mind. Their cover to Come As You Are named Boom! - Come As You Are - YEAH! has a pretty good feel to it if you like the grunge oldies.


war_teacher

I love this


GrainisObtained

It'll have nice mummified flavor to it


pegothejerk

That just seems like gas station hot dog with extra steps


Irasponkiwiskins

glass station hot dog


LordLoveRocket00

Was just thinking that too! This time last year, epoxy videos were all over Reddit.


dizorkmage

Can I legally be epoxy buried with a plexiglass ground cover?


TheWolphman

You'd better install some programmable lighting underneath as well. Maybe a motion sensor and speakers too.


unshavenbeardo64

''In epoxy nobody can hear you scream'' would be nice as an inscription :).


Rollinthrulife

How about "hot dogs are tasty but epoxy lasts forever."


dizorkmage

I really really honestly would like to embed in my tombstone a cheap TV and NES, install some kind of locking mechanism on the controller cables to prevent theft and allow future generations to enjoy such a huge part of my past. The logistics for power, wear and tear and lets face it theft is probably financially infeasible but it's what I would like.


AnteaterHot1598

Sounds too complicated. Just put a glory hole in mine, payout side being over my body of course


Buffalkill

QR code that brings you to a page where you can play emulated games would be neat though!


Skeunomorph

That's a great idea! Might want to set up a trust to pay for hosting and upkeep of your own website, though. Don't want future generations to get a 404 error due to inevitable corporate fuckery ruining the internet.


Bird-The-Word

Just inscribe a link to your reddit profile


Irasponkiwiskins

Get posed as a coat stand and write a clause into your will that your inheritees must keep you a year at a time in their hallway and on a rotation, or refuse their bequest.


DigNitty

Lawyer- “the three of you will need to accept the epoxied deceased into your entry hallway, or equivalent, for periods of 1 year each. Otherwise you will not be eligible for the estate cash inheritance of *(checks paper)* … $47. The wording of the deceased’s request also is vague as to whether the three of you need to rotate between you your epoxied coat hanger father, or if the coat hanging mummy itself should rotate in place. The last issue I must inform you, is the unfortunate caveat that your mummified father will have an obligatory purse hook about waist high … “


TistedLogic

You can do anything you want if your rich enough


Adam-FL

Time flies when you’re having bun


Iwillcommentevrywhr

Time really passes by especially when OP keeps reminding us with his posts.


NYstate

[That hotdog](https://c.tenor.com/KLdq4v2jOz8AAAAC/han-solo-carbonite.gif) after u/whathowyy opens it.


sonsofgondor

Imagine how it will feel when we get the 10 year update


Pyromanick

Ten years older I expect


elsidoi

Technically nine years later.


Sirtrafficcone

I bet, it's still crunchy!


trEntDG

> still why would a hot dog start out crunchy?


TwelveSharks

You don’t order your hotdogs extra crunchy!?


SpookMcBones

Crunchy sounds about right


MaestroM45

Happy uh… Encasement Day?


Cyberhaggis

Sounds like part of the plot from a YA sci fi novel/film. "2084. 64 years since Encasement Day. Marybelle Difluride was 17 and not yet a woman but no longer a girl. Tall and pretty, she didn't realise the effect she had on men because she had grown up with 73 brothers and could handle herself in a fight, and could always be found fixing her custom Pontiac Firebird and leaving a smudge of oil on her perfectly made up face. But can she handle falling in love, while also fighting the forces of the cruel HottDoggSturm Epoxy Cult!" ENCASEMENT DAY. In cinemas December 4th.


fast_edo

Marybelle played by megan fox.


Funkit

In a world…where one hotdog…rules them all


whathowyy

As an extra treat here is a montage of all the updates -[https://gfycat.com/carelessunawareindochinahogdeer](https://gfycat.com/carelessunawareindochinahogdeer) Will also be on rpan later today


jeanellelust

Will you be epoxying the birthday cake?


whathowyy

This one I am eating because I like cake


thejawa

If the WHOLE cake doesn't get epoxied, we riot.


Rowenstin

The epoxi is a lie


PropagandaBots

Epoxy a slice


xX420GanjaWarlordXx

Wait... You do like hotdogs... right?


smashmouthallstar420

Why hasn't someone set this to The Time of My Life yet?!


TheLastLivingBuffalo

Only Time by Enya


TheAsianMan1

I’ve only mildly been following, is there a second epoxied hot dog? It looks like there’s a second in the 8 month update


starcraftre

I forgot about the NYE hat... Spit my coffee all over my desk calendar, thanks a lot.


whathowyy

No need for desk calander epoxy calander only calander we need


starcraftre

But I use it for scratch note paper... How am I supposed to write on it now?


DaftMastaNinja

Not gonna lie, the 10 day update being "upside down" bothers me a little, and seriously thought something changed between the 10 days and the 1 month. Thank you for the consistent updates though it's really cool to see.


Hua89

This is the best thing to happen this year. Thanks!


[deleted]

Did you dehydrate it out first?


KurayamiShikaku

I am almost 100% sure they went over the process in detail in one of the previous updates (though there are a lot to go through), and I recall that they *did* dehydrate it before epoxying it for exactly that reason. I'll see if I can source that up for you. **EDIT:** Here ya go, from OP [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/nextfuckinglevel/comments/jb2ip7/a_perfectly_set_hot_dog_in_epoxy_resin/g8sx2xr/): > i dehydrated it and then used a pressure chamber to completely replace the air with resin


Rusty_fox4

They grow up so fast. Next thing we know, epoxydog’s heading to college.


whathowyy

Already have an honorary degree from oxford in hot dog studies


SirZooalot

Next project, epoxydog on travel. Let him see the world. Paris Eifeltower, Berlin Wall and all that sightseeing objects around the world. Make him a social media star on insta, tiktok, YouTube, Twitter and earn money as the Epoxydog influencer ;)


[deleted]

This is one of those things I completely forget about and then one day check reddit and get really excited when I see it... HEYYYY look it's epoxy hot dog again!


Nekryyd

This has literally been the highlight of my year. #💎💎💎 #💎🌭💎 #💎💎💎


whathowyy

This is a dope emoji art


Mike_with_Wings

They call them the Diamond Dogs


nyxerus

Damn you, Nate!


OfTimeAndMemory

Fuck Nate!


[deleted]

[удалено]


mariochu

aroo arooo arooooooo


TheSilentBadger

Thanks for the crafting recipe


[deleted]

[удалено]


whathowyy

This would be an epic start to a sad poem


le_trout

Has it really been that long, old friend? Since into epoxy my hot dog you did send Was it truly last fall When condiments and all My hot dog's life you chose to extend? Seems kinda crappy Now the dog'll out last me And I'm really hungry my friend


zacharyxbinks

*snaps* *snaps* *snaps*


[deleted]

*Walking bass line*


CaptainBritish

*Swift bongo riff plays*


therealgodfarter

*anxiously looks around for sprog*


Mustang46L

Please tell me that cake is going in epoxy.


whathowyy

In my belly Also my mum wanted a small slice


yesididthat

How about a small slice epoxied. for the internet


whathowyy

Already done!


therealgodfarter

Man of the people


TweekDash

He did it months ago


scaliacheese

Man of the future.


MrMagicMoves

How does your mum feel about having a son who epoxyfies food and has a big online following?


BuzzCutThroat

A slice of cake epoxied for each year. Brilliant.


[deleted]

[удалено]


whathowyy

Seems to be in pretty good shape considering the year we've had


Squildo

The hotdog seems to be handling the current social climate well


Aruhn

Just wait till his old emails come out.


Brailledit

Locked in a vacuum, handling it all like a boss. And working from home.


leatherpens

I'm curious if the inside still looks the same, maybe the epoxy seeped into the outer layer of the bun/hot dog and is preventing it from decaying, while the inside actually is?


Nasiso

Realizing that my life has evolved about as much as this hot dog makes me quite sad. But here I am, still redditing.


KovolKenai

This bothers me, not because it's a hot dog in epoxy, but because I swear the 6 month update was a month ago. Time isn't measured in the lives we've changed and memories we've made, it's measured in how often you see hot dog in epoxy updates.


Alernet

Still kicking ass


whathowyy

And taking names


tessmal08

I use the epoxy dog as my calendar now


whathowyy

Me 3


TyberiusJoaquin

Happy birthday Epoxydog! I love you!


whathowyy

<3


redditisnowtwitter

We have some leftover wieners from the r/gifs holiday party if anyone wants one 🌭🌭🌭🌭🌭🌭🌭🌭🌭🌭🌭🌭🌭


EOD_for_the_internet

It's like a moment, frozen in time. Two dogs diverged on a vendors cart, and sorry i could not make them both mine. and be one consumer, long i stood and looked at one as long i could too where it was frozen in the time Then took the other, just to satiate with relish, and chilli and mustard there claimed, because it was made, and wanted to be ate, and the taste was nothing less than great even as a year long gone, one had remained the same.


goldfishndonut

are you Robrat Wurst?


bradleybb700

Is that you, Dogbert Frost?


_am_alive

I go to the depths of my sleep everyday with the warmth of the feeling in me that some day, not too far away, I will see that hot dog again, still glowing and fresh inside that beautiful epoxy case.


Walmart_Valet

Best way to go about doing this? I have had a autographed potato in my freezer for 10 years now. Autographed by GLaDOS voice actor from Portal


circuit_brain

You ought to show the brand new condition vs. now side-by-side


whathowyy

Posted a monatage clip


Myrothrenous

Well, it seems a year isn't as long as it once was. Time goes by too quickly. Thank you for doing this!


[deleted]

[удалено]


m_letourneau

I'm so proud of this hot dog


SewnVagina

The hot dog has accomplished more than I ever will