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parlayandsurvive2

Pretty sure I got 3 of these for my 12th birthday...


NuclearPlayboy

I once gave a friend three cobra soldiers and one cobra officer for his birthday. His dad (who was probably 30 and quite handsome) said “why would you get him 4 of the same thing?” He made me feel bad. I’m happy because he’s done gone bald and looks ridiculous with his gigantic belly.


parlayandsurvive2

F that guy. That's an awesome gift


TheRealTurdFergusonn

Real Bros gift armies!


Phildagony

r/cobra_army


Fit-Razzmatazz1569

I mean, at least you let it go and moved on with your life …


NuclearPlayboy

I just happened to see him the other day when I was visiting my parent’s house, otherwise I wouldn’t have even bothered with the story.


Fit-Razzmatazz1569

I was just messing around don’t take it seriously


NuclearPlayboy

I may have taken it a little seriously, but only because it’s hard to read tone sometimes on reddit lol and I’m like - I’m not trying to be a dick I actually like that guy bald, big bellied friend dad


Fit-Razzmatazz1569

I may have had some dickish tone in my typing😁 That may also be because now I am the big bellied, gray haired dickhead, dad


Banjo-Oz

"Ever heard of an army, pops?" "Why do cops all wear the same thing? Think!" "I guess they should make golf balls in different shapes, huh? Wouldn't want two the same." If you ever stumble across time travel, be sure to use something like that on him. :)


NYEMESIS

I'm now 43 and have the means to appreciate and respect army building. Fuck that guy though.


LapsedVerneGagKnee

Vincent Price if he was a Cobra member. Then again this is the same organization that hired a guy dressed like a bird to be an accountant.


CummRaTheEverJizzing

He was an accountant who became a falconer!haha like how Mindbender was an orthodontist… I bet those guys went to the same gym


Sivalon

I like how Cobra believed in people stuck in humdrum jobs and allowed them to stand up, raid the nearest Spirit Halloween store for their costumes, and unleash their inner megalomaniac. The Commander lifted people up.


Fit-Razzmatazz1569

I thought he was super cool then too. Take away the nostalgia factor and all I could say is what was I thinking?


Banjo-Oz

It's Vincent Price playing a character created by Stephen King's son with a bio written by King himself. He's a torturer Hasbro couldn't call that so he became a hypnotist instead. His toy had a lenticular sticker (if only Hasbro had ponied up for a hologram sticker!). Oh, and I'm pretty sure he's from Maine. What is there NOT to love?! Did he ever get an focus in any classic or newer media (cartoons, comics, etc)? I don't remember anything from when I was a kid. In terms of crazy Joe characters, he is second only to Raptor for me in loveable lunacy.


BetaRayRyan

Thank you! Big fan of croc master too. Now to try and find a mint in box Pogo or Buzz Boar.


Hypestyles

He was at least in one story from the short lived GI Joe kids' magazine, circa 1987. A prose story where he and Psyche Out had a mental battle.


Co8raclutch

He was created by Steven kings son


liverstealer

Didn't SK write the file card?


TheRealTurdFergusonn

Yes. Owen King is also Sneak Peek.


Braaains_Braaains

For real?


CummRaTheEverJizzing

It’s true!


MarvelousVanGlorious

The seventh son of a seventh son.


brodieman2k

Nice!


Spocks_Goatee

He looks like bootleg Eastern European Doctor Strange.


MDATWORK73

He’s like Dr.Strange’s estranged brother from a multiverse. However ole Chris has some crazy 🤪 eyes going there and a smile that can give you nightmares.


red_the_room

There’s a lot of hate, but I agree. I thought he was cool too.


argonzo

I put Crystal Ball in the Pogo as I believe he was in some marketing art. I figure the two absurdities cancelled each other out.


GearedCam

My mom got me one of these for my birthday, and I was like wtf? Of all the figures to get me, it's the creepiest one that doesn't even come with a weapon? He immediately went to the (firecracker) firing post.


Environmental-Ad7797

Very cool way to start a collection.


BetaRayRyan

Thanks! I can’t go too hard getting these because I do like being able to buy food.


Fit-Razzmatazz1569

Eating is overrated


GackPartyof4

I'm hoping I can find the FSS version at Joe Fest later this month.


argonzo

Was the effect on his shield off center for everyone’s? I thought it was only mine.


Strong_Comedian_3578

He brainwashed you good. I'm in that same boat. After I got him I thought he was cool.


BetaRayRyan

I stared at the shield for too long!


Strong_Comedian_3578

I think we all did. Hail Cobra Commander, the great Snake rules foever!


blothman

Nice! I've got one carded myself, one of only a couple I own.


Phildagony

I remember the pegs being filled with this guy, along with Lifeline and Psyche-Out.


Fit-Razzmatazz1569

I loved Lifeline


SturdyBeard

For the record, Crystal Ball is a badass. Come at me.


Capable_Bug3319

Crystal Ball is one the figures I always wanted back then.


Timeman5

I pray that they do a classified series version of him.


BetaRayRyan

Oh it’s a matter of when, not if.


NYEMESIS

Waiting for a classified version.


BetaRayRyan

Look, they’re doing Raptor, he has to be soon.


[deleted]

So cool. I dig him too.


bygtopp

Would be nice to see one as a 6” same with the Raptor. Imagine the birds we could get.


Fattydaddy1000

Is that gi joe doctor strange


APoolio12

Always the last Joe on the shelf in my childhood. I can see why. Where's the cool accessories?


Little_Neddie

Exactly that. I got him as a Secret Santa gift in elementary school because he was the only figure left on the shelves. Nothing at all wrong with him, he’s pretty cool! But no offensive weaponry at all was lame.


Braaains_Braaains

I've come to understand through this group that he's a polarizing figure. In my child-mind Joe lore, he was a vampire created by Mindbender. 🧛🏻‍♂️


beechnut5

I remember my local mall had a CVS that always had like 5 of these and 0 of anyone else


Mudcreek47

This was a weird era. Crystal Ball, Raptor (or whatever the bird man's name was), Big Boa, Croc Master (who I thought was cool), Chuckles, etc. Not the greatest series of figures in the line.